On my blog I often talk about finding hope in unexpected places. And I believe it. I’ve seen it and lived it. But finding joy in the darkest moments? That’s another issue. Can you find joy in those dark moments when death is imminent?
My friend Judy did. And through her I saw it also—joy in an unexpected place– in one of the darkest moments of a person’s life.
But I didn’t fully realize what I saw until three weeks later.
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Having just received the dreaded phone call that Judy had finally succumbed to her cancer, I sat on my bed with tears in my eyes, and reflected on my last conversation with her just three weeks earlier. Judy’s voice had grown weak and feeble at this point, and she carefully enunciated each word. But she did not complain. No, not Judy. Instead, the natural storyteller in her rose up to tell me the joyful happenings of the last few weeks, happenings that, now as I sat in reflection, brought her life full circle to reinforce the beautiful narrative of who she was as a woman.
When Judy was first diagnosed with cancer and given eighteen months to live, the news was devastating, but she was amazingly at peace. She approached her remaining days with gusto and grabbed that diagnosis by the throat, deciding to live fully until the very end. When the doctor gave her that last fatal report, he asked her what she wanted to do with her remaining time. “I want to go skydiving,” she said.
And she meant it.
Judy was what I would call a renaissance woman. She was a beautiful woman and dressed impeccably.
She was an artist, a published author, a successful business woman, a dedicated Christian, and stood solidly behind her convictions.. She gave of herself through her worldly goods, her time, and her service. She reached out to the disadvantaged, adopting two orphans from Mexico, helping in an inner city ministry, and most notably, following her passion to protect unborn babies. Mixed in with all these other attributes, she was also a pilot. It was during her days of flying that she had met her husband Mitch.
Now, with only months remaining, she wanted to go skydiving and have a gala for her newest book, Fascinating Women. Although her husband eventually nixed the idea of her skydiving, she did have her gala, and it was splendid. She gave the proceeds to a pancreatic cancer non-profit.
Although it was remarkable to watch her living through her final months of life with such zest and passion—and beautiful to the very end—it’s the last days of her life that I marvel at most.
When I talked with her three weeks before she died, she recounted to me the joyful happenings of her previous few weeks as she lovingly chose special gifts for each of her grandchildren when they came to visit her one last time. Judy was an elegant woman. Both her clothes and home reflected her exquisite taste. And with great care, she chose something from her closet, her jewelry box, or her home to give to each of her seventeen grandchildren. As we talked, she described in detail each visit, her special connection to the gifts chosen, and how each grandchild reacted when she gave them one of her special treasures. She happily described a granddaughter trying on an outfit and saying, “Oh, look, Grama, how beautiful this is. And it fits perfectly.”
Judy was dying, but she was full of joy in her giving.
Now as I sat on the edge of my bed and reflected on the joy she radiated in the darkest moments of her life, I remembered the last book she had unveiled at her gala. Confessions of a Cheerful Giver.
And that was her secret.
Giving to others.
She had spent her life learning to give joyfully, and now at the end, when life was ebbing away, she was still giving. It was her hope, her joy. She indeed was a cheerful giver.
I didn’t realize how near the end she was the last time I spoke with her. But I heard the joy in her voice. In those dark moments, she still had joy—an extension of the joy she’d found throughout her life—the joy of giving.
What a beautiful story! Judy’s example of finding joy at a time when most of us would be sad is inspiring!
Thanks, Alice. She loved giving gifts to her grandchildren and making it special for them.
As one of her granddaughters, this was so special to read. Thank you for sharing your heart. Even those last days were filled with such tender sweetness.
Leah, you all were such a delight to your Grama. Being able to share with you the things that were special to her gave her such joy. I think it gave her a way to feel that she was still a part of your future, even though she would no longer be around. She loved you.
Such a sweet story of Judy. I knew Judy through my husband, Warren Fox. They went to the abortion mills for 8 years together. She was amazing. That sweet, soft spoken lady would say things so powerful to them, you knew it was God working through her. She asked me if she could use my story in her book “Fascinating Women.” I was surprised and humbled. Of all the people she knew and she asked me “A Pastors Wife.” What an honor and privilege to have called her my friend. We will be sad at her passing, but Heaven rejoicing at her going home.
Yes, she definitely felt a real call on her life to save as many of those precious babies as she could. It was a tender passion that affected many lives. Linda, I’m looking forward to reading your story in her book.
Beautiful tribute. Judy gave of herself to so many. I will miss her strength, encouragement and passion for the Lord, her family, friends and the unborn.
Thank you, Lynda. I don’t think it’s really sunk in with me yet that she is gone. For so many years I’ve taken her presence for granted in many of the venues we shared in common. Our paths crisscrossed in many ways. She will surely be missed.
Beautiful tribute to a fascinating woman. I will always remember how I felt when I first met Judy. I thought, “Here is one brave little lady.”
Thanks for your comment, Debbie. Yes, she was quite a lady.
We’ll said, Linda. You described her beautifully. Her memorial service was a tribute to her joy and desire for all to know the source of her joy-her Jesus. Thanks for sharing your story.
You’re welcome, Cheri. Yes, her service really reflected Judy in so many ways. A beautiful time of remembering.
Linda…Your reflections honor Judy and encourage us who loved her. Your gift for writing is a Kingdom “tool” that you wield well…”the pen of a ready writer”. May you press in and produce even more inspirational pieces.! Maureen 💕
Thank you so much, Maureen. I appreciate your encouraging words. I love doing the writing and pray that God will use it for His purposes. I have a new book on marriage coming out in February.