Why do we like differences?
Why do we not like differences?
Yes, two opposite questions and two opposite assumptions.
Sometimes differences are exciting and add vibrancy and variety to our lives. Other times differences are irritating and rub us the wrong way.
If everything and everyone was the same, it might be boring, right? We like life to be colorful and interesting. But when people are different, we can have a hard time understanding and relating to something that is unfamiliar to our own thinking.
Last week I did two interviews. One was for women on a show called “Girlfriendit!” And a few days later I did an interview on a show for men called “Real Men Connect.” (This one won’t go on air for another 3 weeks.) The questions and the perspectives by the interviewers were vastly different; in one case we spoke into the needs and emotional responses of a woman, and in the other case we spoke into the needs and natural inclinations of a man. But in both cases the interview was for people who want to fight for their marriage during a separation or a troubled period in their relationship.
Last week my blog interview with Joyce Zook about her book 12 Keys for Marriage Success, What a Wife Can Do To Create a Wonderful Marriage was directed to women. The interview brought out some of the differences of men and women that a woman might want to consider in trying to improve her marriage. In a few weeks, I hope to have another interview with a man who brings out a man’s perspective.
Differences. It’s important to understand them.
For the next few weeks on Heart Talk, I want to talk about differences. What I’ve found over the years is that sometimes the frustrations we feel with our mates are not because our spouses are intentionally doing something to be selfish, ornery, or difficult. Instead, natural differences between us cause them to act in ways that simply do not correspond with our own expectations.
These can be:
- men/women differences,
- personality differences, or
- differences in what makes us feel loved by our spouse.
So for the next few weeks, join me in this discussion. And if you have perspectives you’d like to add or questions you’d like to ask, I welcome them. Let’s discuss differences.
What are some of the good things you appreciate about differences between you and your spouse?
Read more about how to reconcile a broken marriage in my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated., A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted.
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