When the “Merry” Has Disappeared from Christmas

Christmas seems to have fully arrived. You see it everywhere you go. Festive displays glisten on the main streets of town. Lights sparkle throughout the neighborhood.  The words Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday greet you continually.

But for many of you the “merry” has disappeared from Christmas this year.  Things are different, and a “Merry Christmas” greeting has a hollow ring. Your heart is heavy with the idea of how you will even “get through” Christmas. This isn’t the Christmas you wanted. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. The sparkle and laughter are gone as memories of Christmases past assault your heart, and anxiety nibbles at future hopes and dreams.

When gloom hangs over our lives, however, we may discover within ourselves a more natural yearning to peer into the reality of the Christmas we celebrate. As we put aside the glamour, it becomes easier to travel back to how it all began—before the sparkle, before the happy music, before the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping.

There was hustle and bustle on that day, but not of people shopping; it was the descending of large numbers of people upon a small town, all trying to find the basic comforts of a place to stay and something to eat. We see a young woman, nine months pregnant riding a donkey. Can you imagine riding 80 miles on a donkey when you are nine months pregnant? And when she was ready to deliver her baby, who was the Son of the eternal God, she couldn’t even find a decent place to stay. Imagine having to deliver your baby in a smelly stable!

And that is how God came to us – not in a convenient, clean, easy way, but through tough and challenging circumstances. No warm, fine bed for Mary, the mother of God, no fragrant rooms, no support of family and friends who were far away and may have even questioned her virtue and the conception of this baby. No, God came to us in the midst of doubt, confusion, political unrest, and physical hardship. When God sent his Son to be born on this earth, he didn’t clear an easy path for him. He didn’t have a room waiting in Bethlehem. It was hard.

And, oftentimes, that is the way God still comes to us.  In the distractions of active lives, we are often too busy to notice God’s presence. We may have thought we had everything figured out ourselves – that we’d surely find a room in Bethlehem.  We never expected to have to stay in a smelly stable.  We still can’t figure out why things have turned out the way they have.

But, cradled on a bed of hay, in the middle of the odors and pain, we see a tiny baby, the gift of God’s love. It was the first time God was visible to mankind. And in the midst of the difficulties of your life, God has come to show you Himself. It is sometimes only when these other things are stripped away that our eyes are fully opened and we see beyond the glitter into the glory where finally we see Christmas. Perhaps for the first time, the invisible God becomes visible in our eyes, and we see Jesus himself.

God has come to love you with a love you will not find anywhere else—not in a husband or wife, not a parent or a child or a friend. God’s love will not fail you. It is unconditional and everlasting. He will not always show you a clear, easy path to your destination. But He will be with you and guide you, and at just the right time, He may prompt the wife of an innkeeper to say, “I have a place for you. I have an answer. There’s a stable out back…”

His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than ours. He has a plan that is beyond anything we can see. When we take hold of God, we move beyond the barriers of our finite understanding into the reaches of God’s eternal purposes. Eternity is within our grasp. We become a part of His story.

Two thousand years ago, Mary and Joseph didn’t hear the refrains of Silent Night as they gathered clean straw to make a bed for Mary to bear a child; they didn’t see the picturesque setting of a child being born in a manger as they settled down among the animals. It was hard.

But God came to them in the middle of these difficult circumstances, not just for them, but for us.  Jesus was born into our world and into our lives.  And this is the Christmas we celebrate…a Christmas born in hardship, but wrapped in holiness and love, extending through all the ages of the earth into the glories and wonders of eternity.

If the “merry” has disappeared from your Christmas, may God’s blessings shine through the midst of your circumstances and give you a deep joy and peace that rises high above and beyond your understanding.

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And if the merry has disappeared from your Christmas because of a marriage in crisis, you can find hope and healing in my books Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

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A God Who Works Behind the Scenes

Photo by Tim Marshall

One of the things in life that seems to stymie me is how to control the huge amounts of mail we receive. Each day the mailman brings piles of mail, most of them solicitation letters and many from very worthy causes. I hate to ignore them, but I don’t have time to sort through them all each day so I end up putting them aside for a later time.

This week I spent the day sorting through stacks of solicitation letters from various ministries to decide where to give our support. There are so many needs, and so many ministries have risen up to meet those needs. It’s both heartbreaking and inspiring to read some of these letters. But two in particular caught my eye.

God Moving Behind the Scenes Around the World

First I read letters from CRU (Campus Crusade for Christ), telling about ministering to Middle-eastern refugees who had fled their native lands, fearful for their lives. For the first time, these people from countries that were closed to the gospel heard about the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Many of them accepted Christ as their savior. Even the media had begun to notice said CRU. NBC News quoted someone as saying, “After I witnessed [the extremists’] brutality with my own eyes, I started to be skeptical about my belief . . . it didn’t take me long to discover that Christianity was the religion I was searching for.” Newsweek reported, “(Multiple) factors (are) producing a climate ripe for large-scale and widespread conversions [to Christianity].”

Then I read some letters from Wycliffe Bible Translators, a ministry that translates Bibles into different languages around the world. Although my husband and I had never donated to them before, I remembered my parents supporting them in years gone by. I knew them to be a very solid ministry.  As I picked up their letters and began to read, I found their message staggering.  “God has opened an unprecedented window of opportunity,” they said. “God is working mightily . . . even in places where Islamic terrorists are brutalizing thousands. People are coming to faith, underground churches are being planted, God is moving!

“Across the Middle East, Africa, and Asia,” they explained, “oppressive regimes devote themselves to crushing out any flicker of Christianity. People who leave their traditional religious system, and place their faith in Jesus Christ, risk their lives. . . . But here’s the shocker: Christians suffering unspeakable persecution in the Middle East, Africa, and Asia, aren’t pleading with us for protection. They’re not even asking us for the basic necessities of life. They want just one thing more than anything else in the world. They’re asking for Bibles in the language of their own people.”

God’s Amazing Ways

As I laid these letters on the table, I sat amazed once again at the mysterious workings of God. While I had been watching in horror the unfolding drama of brutality, terror, and bloodshed on the news coming out of the Middle East, God was working behind the scenes to once again “bring good out of bad” (Romans 8:28) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)” Men, women and children from severely authoritarian and repressive nations where Christianity was forbidden fled their countries in fear, only to discover a freedom in Christ they didn’t know existed.

As awful as the news was, God was behind the scenes using it for His purposes – to spread the truth of His love and forgiveness to unreached peoples in closed nations and give them the words of eternal life. Victims of danger and violence left their homes and everything they knew to find safety, not knowing they were running into a safety beyond anything they had ever known in the loving arms of Jesus.

God Moving Behind the Scenes in Our Personal Lives

These stories reminded me once again of the truth that has lived in my heart for decades, the truth of Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purposes.” God never wastes our circumstances. When we look to Him and trust Him to use both the good and the bad for His purposes, He brings about amazing results. I saw it in my life when my husband and I reunited after a three-year separation. I’ve seen it in the lives of others who experienced years of heartache or addiction, only to recover and lead an extraordinarily fruitful life afterwards. We have seen it again and again in the lives of those to whom we have ministered through my books and our marriage ministry.

God is so faithful to those who turn to Him. It’s easy to get discouraged during the dark times in our lives, but when we continue to trust God, He lets His light shine, and we experience His goodness. God is always working behind the scenes to bring about good for those who love Him.

Christians around the world pray for those who are lost, missionaries sacrifice comfort, convenience, family closeness and even their safety to spread the gospel of Jesus. Many are in these dangerous spots that are closed to Christianity and risk persecution if they are discovered. But all the while they are praying. When we read stories like these, we realize in amazement that God does indeed hear their prayers. And He is answering. We may not see it at first, but if we stay tuned, we will see that God has been behind the scenes all along.

We serve a powerful God. Nothing escapes Him. Nothing defeats Him. Nothing undermines Him. His purposes are pure and good and perfect, and what He has planned He will accomplish (Isaiah 46:11).

I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do. (Isaiah 46:10-11).

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Platinum Faith – Live Brilliant, Be Resilient, & Know Your Worth, Author Interview with Michelle Medlock Adams

When our faith is challenged in the midst of difficult circumstances, we may wonder if we have enough faith to keep moving forward to claim God’s promises. But according to author Michelle Medlock Adams, this may be our opportunity to grow “platinum faith.” Michelle, an award-winning journalist who has earned over 50 industry awards, is a NY Times best-selling ghostwriter and author with close to 4 million books sold. Her new book, Platinum Faith, shows readers how to live brilliant, be resilient, and know your worth. She joins me here to tell you more.

Linda: I’m intrigued with the title of your book, Platinum Faith. Can you tell us what you mean by platinum faith? What makes our faith ‘platinum’?

Michelle: Platinum exemplifies some of the most rare, useful qualities of all metals. It’s precious; it’s valuable; it’s malleable; it’s able to resist corrosion; it can withstand the heat; it has a heavy presence; it shines brightly; it’s able to bond easily and so much more. These characteristics are also favored qualities for those who desire to grow in their Christian faith. That’s why we have chosen to highlight twelve platinum properties, and how they relate to our walk of faith. More specifically, we delve into how they parallel our divine calling, our eternal value, and the unlimited love and blessings that He desires for us.

Each chapter features a platinum property, a promise, a platinum project, and a prayer. By combining meaningful stories from our own lives with truths from the Word of God, we challenge you to pursue platinum faith. #progressnotperfection

Platinum faith doesn’t mean perfect faith; it just means “all-in” faith. Though we might not walk in platinum faith every day, the Bible assures us that we all have a measure of faith, which means we all have the potential to grow our faith. And, that’s what this book is all about—growing closer to God and walking in confidence that your life is valuable and counts for God’s kingdom. 

Linda: I know you went through some challenging times during the writing of this book. How did writing Platinum Faith increase your own faith? 

Michelle: It was a difficult season. In fact, during the beginning stages of writing Platinum Faith, I received news that my 14-month-old grandson, Bear, was diagnosed with an inoperable brainstem tumor. Of course, when I received the news, I certainly didn’t feel full of faith. I felt full of fear. It was a turning point in my life, and I wrote about the struggle I had in the midst of facing this bad news. That’s in Chapter one which is called “All In Faith.” That’s the kind of faith you have to possess when you receive earth-shattering news. (Update: Bear is doing great. Every MRI since the original one in January has shown no change in the tumor at all, so the doctors believe that it’s benign. Praise the Lord.) But, during those seasons of bad news or difficult situations, you have to dig your heels in the Word of God and say, “I’m all in, Lord. I trust You. I have faith that You not only have all the answers, You are the answer!”

Bethany Jett, my co-author, and I both felt this was the hardest book we’ve ever written. Each chapter caused us to really seek God and come face-to-face with our own shortcomings. Writing a book about faith will cause you to take inventory of your own life. It was a humbling experience, and though it was difficult, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I drew closer to God, closer to my coauthor, and it caused me to press into the things of God like never before.

Linda: Do the ideas behind Platinum Faith apply to marriage in any way? 

Michelle: As any spouse will tell you, it takes all kinds of faith to have a happy, healthy marriage, especially in today’s world. The devil is after our families, so as women of faith, we need to pray—in faith—for our husbands and our children. What do I mean by “praying in faith”? I mean standing on those scriptures regarding your family and never giving up until you see the breakthroughs that you’re believing God to do in the lives of your loved ones.

Actually, every aspect of Platinum Faith that we cover such as: being malleable and being responsive and not reactive applies to marriage. It takes faith—platinum faith—to be in a healthy relationship, day in and day out. Let’s face it; marriage isn’t always easy, but I’ve been married to Jeff for over 28 years, and I’m thankful that we choose to see the best in each other and love one another on the good days and the not-so-good days. Faith and love go hand-in-hand. You really can’t have one without the other, and you’ll need both to have a healthy, happy marriage. When our youngest daughter battled anorexia; when my mom was dying of cancer; when Jeff’s father was in the nursing home; and so many other difficult situations that we’ve been through together—if we hadn’t had faith in God and faith in one another, we couldn’t have survived. But we did, and we continue to do so. This faith walk is a journey. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, and some days, we can grow weary. But on those days, we can turn to our Heavenly Father and He will carry us.

Linda: Some of us are hard on ourselves and just don’t feel worthy of God’s love. I believe you address that in Platinum Faith. Does feeling unworthy affect our faith?

Michelle: Good question. One of the properties of platinum is that it’s so rare and valuable. We cover that in Chapter 4. I truly believe that until we grasp just how much our Father loves us and treasures us, it’s almost impossible to walk in faith. It’s hard to trust Him because we aren’t sure if He loves us. That’s why it’s so important to meditate on the scriptures that tell us just how much God loves us and values us—scriptures like Jeremiah 31:3 that says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” We need to see ourselves through our Heavenly Father’s eyes. Once you understand how valuable you are and know in your “knower” that God treasures you and has a plan for you, your faith will grow. Your joy level will increase. You won’t be moved by difficult circumstances because you’ll have faith in God, knowing He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Linda: How do you walk in your calling when you feel overwhelmed to do what God is calling you to do?

Michelle: The good news is this: God never calls us without equipping us. But He also wants us to have dreams that are way bigger than we feel qualified to fulfill. If we could handle it all on our own without God, that wouldn’t take any faith at all. But, as we grow in our faith and learn His voice and follow after Him, we can accomplish much for the Kingdom.

Linda: I’ve heard you talk about having “Sassy Faith”—what is that? 

Michelle: Yes, I often say, “It’s time to get your sassy faith on!” What I mean by that is this: it’s time to get up on the inside and walk in Platinum Faith. Remember the story of the synagogue ruler whose little girl had died? (Mark 5) After Jesus told the father not to be afraid and only believe, he went to the home of the little girl and took her hand and said: “Talitha koum” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” I think the Lord is saying that same thing to us—“Child of God, I say to you, get up!” Get up and get that sassy faith on! Stand on the Word of God. Believe that He has a plan for your life. Believe that He has called you and equipped you. And, when you’ve done everything else, stand. Stand in faith, knowing that God has got you! Sassy Faith is Platinum Faith, and we need all the sass we can get to do Kingdom work for such a time as this.

Linda: I love that! Tell me now, what would be the one thing—the most important thing—you want a reader to take away after reading your book?

 Michelle: One thing…I guess it would be that God didn’t call us to have perfect faith. He says in His Word that we are attaining from glory to glory, so I would want people to know that it’s a journey of faith. The Bible tells us that we are all given a measure of faith, but let’s not settle there. Let’s strive for Platinum Faith. It’s about progress, not perfection.

Linda: One last question: you’ve written a number of adult books, but I know you’ve also written some award winning children’s books, including “C is for Christmas.” Since Christmas is right around the corner, some readers might like to see what else you have written. Where can people find out more about your books and ministry?

Michelle: Thank you for asking. Yes, I have written more than 60 children’s books. I love speaking into the lives of little ones. My holiday books include: “C is for Christmas” “What is Christmas?” and “Happy Birthday, Jesus!” I might mention that “What is Christmas?” is part of my award-winning “What is?” series with WorthyKids that also includes: “What is Easter?” “What is Thanksgiving” “What is Halloween?” and “What is America?”

In January, my book, “Cuddle-Up Prayers” debuts with WorthyKids, and I have another children’s book coming out in April called, “I Love You Bigger Than the Sky.”

You can find all of my books at www.michellemedlockadams.com or anywhere books are sold.

I love speaking at women’s conferences and philanthropic events, and readers can find me under “Michelle Medlock Adams” at womenspeakers.com to see my topics and listen to a sample of my speaking.

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A Rock in Life’s Quakes

By Michael Kmet

By Tina Yeager

With a bit of apprehension I offered my head to the hairstyling apprentice. She needed to practice, so I agreed to become the lab rat of her experiment. Few had seen the procedure and my outcome was difficult to predict. Bowls of gel mixtures littered the small table. Countless paint strokes surrounded me. After an hour, I resembled an alien with head of silver tentacles sprouting hair. A cosmic halo orbited my noggin, projecting heat onto the foils. An anxious flutter stirred in my belly, churning a bit of acid to rise into my throat.

It’s only hair, I told myself. No matter how this turns out, I will be okay.

This year brings a variety of changes for me, all more significant than the balayage venture (which proved less dramatic than I anticipated, by the way). We’ve moved away from the home in which we raised our kids. One son now lives over two hours away, while my youngest begins his doctoral program in another city. At the same time, I grieve the loss of my church family, and my career is undergoing a major transition. I’m not sure how the results will look, but a different world is shaping up around me.

Change shakes up our lives in a myriad of forms. It can often prove refreshing as some novelty brings joy. Hence the constant trend shifts in technology, fashion, and adventurous recreation. New movies rock. Hidden waterfalls delight the soul. Who doesn’t love a fresh outfit?

The transitions we don’t seek will occur, too, however. We age. People leave us. Security blankets blow away in one strong gust of calamity. Expected or not, certain life-upheavals rattle our roots from their comfortable places. From relocation to chronic health issues to grief, uncomfortable transitions stretch across differing levels of life’s Richter scale. They all begin with a similar emotion, as the first thing felt in an unwanted quake is loss. Pain screams to the forefront of human awareness, blocking other details from our perspective.

The amount of time it takes to recover varies with how deeply we’ve been impacted by the shifting circumstances around us. Change can feel like a seismic event, but the painful aftershocks will diminish and the dust of our disorientation will settle after a while. Even before opening  our eyes to survey the land, we know it has changed. We don’t need to look to acknowledge the change has affected us. Life shifted, and things are not as they were.

I cannot move on from a state of loss until I open my eyes and accept the new reality. I must survey the landscape to identify my resources. A strange realization dawns in the moment of clarity after the impact has subsided. Despite the change, all is not lost. My greatest resource remained with me even when I could not see Him.

In the tumult of life in this errant world, God remains steadfast. He never leaves us. His love gushes endlessly over us whether we sense it or not. Often, He brings our sweetest blessings in the times we feel most lost and alone. Regardless of the many transitions and losses we experience, God never changes.

As my maturing sons depart and I work and worship, landscapes transform; these changes occur on the temporary plane of my existence. Even if I lose all I hold dear, the Lord will sustain me with His precious loving presence to the end of mortality. And then, all be restored. Adonai, Whose every work surpasses excellence, revitalizes life with extra gobs of glory lavished on top. Eternity will gather my entire spiritual family to worship and serve together. Ultimately, nothing will be lost forever. I will be better than okay.

  “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deut. 31:6).

What changes are you experiencing today? Try offering a prayer of trust and praise with me. Choose to believe in God’s steadfast nature, despite the shuddering earth. Let’s cling with all our faith to the Rock in the midst of life’s quake.

By Tina Yeager, author of Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You

Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You empowers women to break free from the traps of insecurity and sabotaging mindsets. As empowered warriors, women can raise their shields and become the divine heroines they were destined to become. With therapeutic tips, a solid biblical foundation, and empowering questions, women can free themselves from ongoing negative patterns, overcome common obstacles to healthy self-esteem, deepen awareness of Christ-centered identity, and embrace divine esteem.To connect with Tina, visit tinayeager.com.

 

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When God Says “No”

When our world is rocked with crisis and we cry out to God, what do we do when the answer we seem to get from Him is not what we want to hear?  How do we respond when God says “no?”

Award winning author and speaker Janet McHenry has an answer for us, and I asked her to share with us her answers to this question. For in her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today, she tells us how the very prayers that Jesus prayed can teach us how to respond when we hear that disappointing “no.”

So I’m going to turn “Heart Talk” over to Janet today. If you leave a comment for Janet, I will enter your name in a drawing for her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, published by Bethany House.

When God Says “No”

by Janet McHenry

One of the toughest things to handle as a Christian is how to respond when God says “No.”

We know that every prayer for healing is not answered.

Every prayer to be saved from bankruptcy is not answered.

Every prayer to save a marriage is not answered.

So . . . what are we to believe about prayer in those contexts? And what are we to believe about God?

After all, didn’t God say in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you”?

In Psalm 37:4 God says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

And Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:23-24).

Yes, God answers all prayers in some way. Pastor and author Rick Warren has said, “God answers every single prayer. Now, he doesn’t answer them the way you’d like it every time, but it’s an answer. ‘No” is an answer. ‘Wait” is an answer. ‘Grow up’ is an answer. ‘In a little while’ is an answer. ‘In my way’ is an answer. God never leaves a prayer unanswered.”

So, okay, technically the answer was “no” . . . there was an answer, but how do we reconcile that no answer with the earlier scripture promises about fulfilling our heart’s desires and such? And then how do we as Christians respond?

Because I always turn to Jesus as my prayer mentor, I searched how he responded when the Father said “no” to him.

Jesus prayed what I called the two-sided coin prayer in one of my books many years ago: “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

On the one side of the coin: “Take this cup from me.”

On the other side of the coin: “Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

So, Jesus laid out his heart’s desire . . . and his Abba, his Father, said “no” . . . and Jesus headed to the Cross.

The next three of Jesus’s prayers, I believe, spell out how we can respond as Christians when we don’t see our prayers answered the way we’d like. These are the last three of Jesus’s ten prayers that we have—and all of them he said as he was hanging on the Cross.

Forgive 

The first of those three prayers is “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). So the first thing we can do is forgive.

Jesus was forgiving the soldiers who had nailed him to the Cross, but perhaps he also was forgiving Pontius Pilate and the Jewish officials and even Peter, who had denied him, and the rest of the disciples, who had vanished.

Years ago my rancher husband had seven cattle that died in a two-day blizzard. Six calves and an old bull had bedded down in a dry creek bed and gotten covered over. Despite those conditions, Craig was convicted of six felony animal abuse charges four years later. Because the judge refused to allow our key witness to testify—a UC Davis vet professor, the chief expert in the West on cattle—and refused to have a lot of important evidence admitted, we won a reversal in the California Court of Appeals, but we had a lot of forgiving to do. That case took six years out of our lives, as well as a lot of financial resources. But forgiveness isn’t about what we deserve; it’s kingdom work, and it’s what Jesus did, so we do it in obedience.

Lament 

The second thing we can do when God says “no” is lament. Lament means to cry out mournfully. And Jesus’s second prayer continues to give us insight about how to respond: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:45-46).

Yes, go ahead and cry it out. God can take it. Not complain. But cry out in your pain.

This prayer above all others addresses the biggest, most-often asked question mankind has about God. WHY? Why does God allow suffering? Why must we fall into the hellholes of life? If God loves us so much, wouldn’t such a loving Father steer us around the intersections of pain? Couldn’t there be a better way?

Jesus used the word “forsaken.” He was deserted, dumped, abandoned . . . at least he humanly felt that way. But his being abandoned led to our being adopted. Just as an abandoned baby left at a church or a firehouse might be adopted by a young couple that had been praying for years, Jesus’ abandonment, led to our adoption.

It’s true that we might not always see the purpose in our suffering. We may never. Yes, life isn’t fair. And sometimes the WHY? question gets stuck in our hearts. It hurts. But we can control how we respond.  We can use our pain for others’ good, if we stop, look around, see others who are suffering in similar ways, and reach out to them to encourage and support them. We do not have to stay in that place of feeling forsaken. We can take practical steps to use our hurt to help others.

Submit  

In Jesus’s third prayer from the cross, we learn to submit. Scripture tells us “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ And when he said this, he breathed his last” (Luke 23:44-46.

“Into your hands.” Wow, that could seem like a scary prayer, except that when we commit or submit ourselves to our heavenly Father fully, we are giving ourselves to the God who redeemed us, the One who adopted us, the one who loves us.

I know such relinquishment, because I saw this through my dad. Six months after he began noticing that he was having a hard time gripping a golf club anymore, he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—ALS—which destroys the nerve endings to the muscles until eventually the person cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot count on a heartbeat.

Although the doctors said he would have two to four years, he died five months after diagnosis. However, he not only showed other people how to live with faith; he showed others how to die with faith.

My dad had a quick wit, always turning a phrase and telling jokes. Even in his last hours he was still joking with those around him. The day before he passed away, he was still able to push the call button, so he called for the nurse, who came in and said, “Did you call me, Bob?”

He smiled and said, “Why would I call you Bob? Your name is Mary.”

You see, people, the world doesn’t need to see Christians living out their faith in prosperity and posting all the happy stuff on Facebook. They need to see us facing struggles with dignity, with faith, and with integrity. They need to see us thanking God despite our pain and struggles. They need to see us real and vulnerable, yes . . . but in a looking-up posture that shows that FAITH WORKS: that God is real in our lives, that he is worthy of our trust, and that it is our faith alone that sustains us in the Dark Night of the Soul.

Jesus’ prayers teach us how to respond when God says “no”: forgive, lament, and submit. But they show us something even more important: the ONE THING we need to remember about prayer. God himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to bring our needs before him. He wants us to offer praise and thanksgiving and confession, but even more than that, HE himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to develop our relationship with him, to be a bigger part of our daily, moment-by-moment life, drawing closer to him and learning more about his good character.

Prayer is not about finding pockets of time to say a few remote-controlled phrases. Prayer is about relationship—becoming closer to the One who created you and loves you, so that when God says “no,” you simply nod your head and know he still loves you, he is still in control, and he will walk you through the valley you’re in.

If you’d like a chance to receive a free copy of The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It will Change Your Life Today, please leave a comment below.

* * *

Janet McHenry is an award-winning speaker and the author of 24 books, including the best-selling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today. You can see more about Janet, her speaking ministry, and her books at www.janetmchenry.com.

 

 

 

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The Roses I Didn’t Know

 “Do you think you’ll be able to take care of Chuck’s rosebushes?” my friend teased soon after we moved into our house.

Chuck, the former owner of our house, had greatly prized the six gorgeous rosebushes that put out a continual profusion of blooms in the bed beside our driveway.  Perched on an incline above the street, they were on continual display to passersby and greatly admired.

“Of course I‘ll take care of them.  They’re my rosebushes now. I like roses,” I said. “My mother had lots of them.”

After we moved in, I threw a little fertilizer on them occasionally and watered them when I thought about it.  But the blooms became fewer and smaller.

Within three years, two of the bushes died, and I realized I didn’t actually know how to care for roses after all.

I certainly enjoyed seeing the pretty blooms and breathing in the intoxicating scent.  I loved putting them in vases and letting the fragrance filter through the house.  But I actually knew very little about roses—particularly about raising them.  I was busy, and instead of taking the time with my adopted bushes to understand what they required of me, I took a lackadaisical attitude and assumed I knew what to do.

Sometimes I think I’ve done the same thing with my relationship with God.  I assume I know what He wants, but I don’t.  I go off half-cocked, doing my own thing, relying on my own understanding and then wonder why my spiritual life is dull and fruitless.  And then it hits me.  Do I really know Jesus?  Do I really know who He is?  If not, how do I have a relationship with Him?  How do I know what He wants of me?

Who is This Jesus After All?

Recently I spent time reading the gospels.  The person of Jesus came alive to me as I saw Him healing with compassion, challenging the self-righteous, and sowing fresh seeds of understanding in those who came to seek Him out.  I saw Him suppress His mighty power and stand meekly before those who erroneously thought they held the power of His fate within their hands as He fulfilled His father’s plan to give us eternal life.  I saw a Jesus whose understanding transcends anything my finite mind can fathom, a Jesus who shed His robe of eternity to wear the dusty sandals of a traveler on earth.

Who is this Jesus?  If we want to know him, we need to spend time with him in the places where we can hear his voice—in the Word of God, in the garden alone with him, in prayer, and in the fellowship of others who seek him.  We need to close our ears to the clamor of the world for a few minutes of each day and sit in His company. And then we need to open our eyes to watch what He does in our life and in the lives of those around us.

Some Things I Know and Some Things I Don’t

Who is this Jesus?  I certainly don’t understand all the complexities of how he works—why some prayers are answered and some aren’t or why bad things happen to good people.  But I do know He’s good and that I can trust him.  I’ve learned this through the years as I’ve deepened my relationship with Him, particularly when He journeyed with me through the heart-rending time of my separation. I’ve watched Him heal lives that seemed beyond repair, and sometimes I sit back in wonder, marveling at how He can turn crisis into a higher blessing in the lives of His faithful believers.

Who is this Jesus—really?  How do I get to know Him? I believe one of God’s purposes for us as mortals is that we ask that question and follow where He leads day by day. Knowing Him is an adventure we will explore all our lives. We just need to take the next step, then the next. We begin by reading the words He gave us and letting them sink into our hearts.  We question Him and talk to Him and seek to understand His will. As we see what He’s trying to tell us, we obey Him without letting our feeble thinking get in the way.

When we do these things and follow in His footsteps instead of wandering off on our own, our day-to-day walk with Him will become more vibrant, His direction clearer, and the fruit of our lives more abundant.  Then, one day when we meet Him face to face in our heavenly abode, we will see Him clearly and intimately and know this Jesus who walked with us and loved us throughout our lives.

Who is this Jesus? This Easter let’s take the time to find out.

© Linda Rooks 2019

Join the conversation: What new things are you learning about Jesus? Comment below.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated now available

 

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After Winter, Comes the Spring – Nature’s Message of Hope

Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. (Song of Solomon 2: 11-13)

As I watch new life springing up from the cold harshness of winter, I think of you, my readers, and the stories you have continually been sharing with me recently – story after story of new life breathed into marriages that once appeared to be dead.

It’s the same, familiar story God brings to us when the world seems dark and hope seems gone. For just when we think the winter will never end, we see a small sprig of green pushing up from the earth, and we realize hope has not disappeared but lies dormant beneath the soil of our dreams, waiting for the sun to shine—waiting for the light to bring it forth.

For after winter, we know the spring will eventually come.

Springtime brings us a wonderful reminder that God is not through with us or our story. For just as He is always at work beneath the surface of the soil, He is always at work beneath the surface of our lives to burst through the crust of disillusionment to bring beauty when we least expect it.

If we can plant even that tiny seed of faith into the soil of our heart and turn our face to God, He will help us grow it into something beautiful.  He promises to bring “beauty from ashes” and hope from the dreariness of our pain.

Doing A New Thing in the Wilderness

I love the words of Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

This was a scripture God gave to me—no, I should say this was a promise God gave to me—even at a time when I saw little hope for my marriage to survive the separation that had torn my marriage apart.

I was sitting in a church service and an elderly missionary was speaking. He began reading from the Bible, and when he spoke these words, they jumped out at me and lodged in my heart. I knew these words were for me, and I wrote them down. It was one of the turning points that brought me hope. Although nothing had changed between my husband and me, God gave me a promise that nourished my heart. God was at work behind the scenes. Beneath the hard winter of my days, God was preparing the soil for springtime.

God’s Stories Woven through Nature

Just as God uses analogies from nature to speak to us in the Bible, He often does the same when we gaze into the wonders of the creation He gave us – even simple expressions of nature we find in our own backyards. Often, when I spend time digging in the dirt, trimming the bushes, or planting flowers—even when I’m pulling weeds—God whispers His truths into my heart, weaving them through nature and bringing them to me as gifts. Once unwrapped, they open my mind and heart to a new hope borne from God. For the stories in my garden also weave through the stories in my life until they sprout into something promising that lifts me higher than I was before and gives me something to ponder.

Perhaps you’ve seen some of these gifts unfold in your own garden or maybe you will discover them on a day when you least expect it—amongst the weeds, in a wilted flower, or a broken branch. For if you look close enough and deep enough, you can see hope emerging from places where you don’t expect to find it. When disappointments weigh us down, God can surprise us with a burst of wonder, the gift of story, and the shining rays of hope.

For the next few weeks on Heart Talk, let’s celebrate spring together. I’d like to invite you to join me in the garden as we take a walk and explore the truths God weaves through the simple things of nature. For when we do, I believe you may be surprised to discover how often you can find hope in unexpected places.

© Linda Rooks 2019

Join the conversation: When have you found hope in unexpected places? Comment below.

Read Linda’s new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated – available now

 

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When Christmas Loses It’s Sparkle

CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON. Bright lights sparkle on houses in your neighborhood. Joyous refrains stream throughout department stores and across the airwaves. Everywhere you see Christmas trees, Santa Clauses, and signs that say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. But for some of you, the words Merry Christmas have a hollow ring to them this year. Your heart is heavy with the idea of how you will even “get through” Christmas, let alone make it merry. Things are different this year. And it’s hard.

The Christmas we’re used to is full of sparkle and laughter. It’s always been a time of fun and celebration. But when gloom hangs over our lives and questions about the future occupy our minds, we may actually find it easier to peer more closely into the reality of the Christmas we celebrate. For when we put aside the glamor of the holidays, we can travel back to how it really all began—before the sparkle, before the happy music, before the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping.

There was hustle and bustle on that day, but not of people shopping; it was the descending of large numbers of people upon a small town, all trying to find the basic comforts of a place to stay and something to eat. We see a young woman, nine months pregnant riding a donkey. Can you imagine riding 80 miles on a donkey when you are nine months pregnant? And when she was ready to deliver her baby, who was the Son of the eternal God, she couldn’t even find a decent place to stay. Imagine having to deliver your baby in a smelly stable! And that is how God came to us – not in a convenient, clean, easy way, but through difficult circumstances. No warm, fine bed for Mary, the mother of God, no fragrant rooms, no support of family and friends who were far away and may have even questioned her virtue and the conception of this baby. No, God came to us in the midst of doubt, confusion, political unrest, and physical hardship. When God sent his Son to be born on this earth, he didn’t clear an easy path for him. He didn’t have a room waiting in Bethlehem. It was hard.

And, oftentimes, that is the way God still comes to us.  In the distractions of active lives, we are often too busy to notice God’s presence. We may have thought we had everything figured out ourselves – that we’d surely find a room in Bethlehem.  We never expected to have to stay in a smelly stable.  We still can’t figure out why things have turned out the way they have.

But, cradled on a bed of hay, in the middle of the odors and pain, we see a tiny baby, the gift of God’s love. It was the first time God was visible to mankind. And in the midst of the difficulties of your life, God has come to show you himself. It is sometimes only when these other things are stripped away that our eyes are fully opened and we see beyond the glitter into the glory where finally we see Christmas. Perhaps for the first time, the invisible God becomes visible in our eyes, and we see Jesus himself.

God has come to love you with a love you will not find anywhere else—not in a husband or wife, not a parent or a child or a friend. God’s love will not fail you. It is unconditional and everlasting. He will not always show you a clear, easy path to your destination. But He will be with you and guide you, and at just the right time, He may prompt the wife of an innkeeper to say, “I have a place for you. I have an answer. There’s a stable out back…”

His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than ours. He has a plan that is beyond anything we can see. When we take hold of God, we move beyond the barriers of our finite understanding into the reaches of God’s eternal purposes. Eternity is within our grasp. We become a part of His story.

Two thousand years ago, Mary and Joseph didn’t hear the refrains of Silent Night as they gathered clean straw to make a bed for Mary to bear a child; they didn’t see the picturesque setting of a child being born in a manger as they settled down among the animals. It was hard.

But God came to them in the middle of these difficult circumstances, not just for them, but for us.  Jesus was born into our world and into our lives.  And this is the Christmas we celebrate…a Christmas born in hardship, but wrapped in holiness and love, extending through all the ages of the earth into the glories and wonders of eternity.

May God’s blessings shine through the midst of your circumstances this Christmas and give you a deep joy and peace that rises high above and beyond your understanding.

 

 

 

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Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten–Interview with Author Janet Thompson

ForsakenGod.inddForgetting the good things God has done in our lives can create a dangerous vacuum and make us more vulnerable to making bad choices. My friend Janet Thompson, award winning author of eighteen books, takes us on a journey of remembering in her new book, Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten. When I think of Janet, I usually think of her wonderful ministry to women and her ministry called Woman to Woman Mentoring. She has a heart for women and an abundance of wisdom to share on a number of fronts. In her latest release, she is plumbing new depths, and I’m pleased to do this interview with her so she can share these insights with you. If you’d like a FREE copy of the book, you can make a comment at the end of this interview to enter our drawing.

Linda: Your new book seems to take a different direction from your previous ones about infertility, cancer, prodigal daughters, and stay-at-home husbands. Why did you decide to write this book?

 Janet: While having dinner with some dear friends, the conversation turned to how quickly we forget God’s goodness when the next crisis arises in our life. I pointed out that we berate the Israelites for their continual forgetfulness of all God did for them, even after He parted the Red Sea and provided food and shoes that never wore out in their journey, but are we really any different today? Don’t we see the amazing wonders and miracles of God in our daily lives, and yet when trouble sneaks into our life, it quickly erases our memory of God’s previous amazing goodness and love. All we think about is “Where is God when we need Him?” Of course, the answer is that He’s right where He’s always been, at work in our lives, if we would only remember how close He stays to the troubled and brokenhearted.

Linda: How does remembering what God has done help us deal with current and future troubles?Janet Thompson Pink

Janet: If we don’t remember what God has already done in the past, we won’t believe what He is capable of doing in the future. Memory builds faith. When we take the time to look back at all the times God has been there for us, in our good and bad experiences, we remember that He never left us or deserted us, and He’s not going to let us down now. He doesn’t always work in the same ways and timeframe we want Him to, but we can be sure He is at work in every believer’s life.

Linda: What are some ways we can jog our memories to remember God’s goodness?

Janet: Every chapter in Forsaken God? has a memory jogger for the reader to think back to something God has done in his or her life that maybe they have forgotten. Then there are “Ways to Remember God’s Goodness” suggestions such as: taking pictures, having a thankful list, telling your testimony, looking for God in your everyday circumstances, creating a timeline of God-events in your life, ridding yourself of bad memories, learning from the past, and many more ways.

Linda: Why is there a “?” after the title?

Janet: Most people don’t think they have, or ever would, forsake God, and no one does it intentionally…it just seems to happen over time that God takes a lesser place in the life of many Christians. So instead of dogmatically saying Christians are forsaking and forgetting God, I hope to gently start the thought process: Is it possible that I have forsaken God without realizing it? Is God truly first place in my life? Would anyone know it? Am I standing up for God and His truth in a culture that is quickly forgetting and abandoning God? Am I willing to be bold for God, even when it’s not popular or politically correct?

Linda: Since mentoring is your passion, how will Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten help influence the next generation?

Janet: I’m so glad you asked. Forsaken God? has a section titled Generation to Generation where I challenge Christians to pass on their faith to the upcoming generations, reminding them why we believe what we believe. And we must speak to them and reach out to them where they’re at, in a language they understand, and be willing to discuss the issues they face in today’s culture. We can’t be afraid to talk about difficult or uncomfortable topics. They need to not only know how Christians should react to today’s culture, but they need to see their parents, church leaders, grandparents, mentors, youth workers, and influencers living out their biblical faith—not the pseudo faith of much of today’s culture. They need help in discerning God’s truth from Satan’s lies.

Linda: What would you say to someone who has experienced great loss and pain?

Janet: I would say that God has not forsaken you so don’t forsake Him when you need Him most. He’s the only true source of love and faithfulness in your life and He’s the lifeline that won’t let you sink into your sorrows, even when you think that’s what you want to do. Read the Psalms, play praise music at home and in the car . . . listen to the lyrics and start singing along. Pray continually, and trust and believe that God always answers, sometimes in a still small voice. Look for Him in every circumstance; He’s there waiting to rescue you and give you a testimony of His great goodness and faithfulness.

Linda: This sounds like a good book for discussion. Can Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten be used for group study?

Janet: Absolutely! There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter for use in small groups, Bible studies, and book clubs. My own church’s Women’s Bible study is reading Forsaken God? as their summer Bible study.

Linda: Where can readers find copies of Forsaken God?: Remembering the Goodness of God Our Culture Has Forgotten?

Janet: Forsaken God? is available at all Christian bookstores and online stores such as Amazon, Christianbook.com and Barnes & Noble.com. It’s also available signed at my website. I also write a Monday Morning Blog and a Monthly Online Newsletter that you can sign up for at my website. Readers can contact me and/or leave comments at http://infotowomantowomanmentoring.com.

 

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It Only Takes ONE to Begin the Reconciliation of a Marriage

hopeMy friend looked visibly shaken as she crossed the floor of the restaurant to join me at the table. When I asked how her family was doing, she burst into tears.

“Melanie and Ron are getting a divorce,” she said.

As she continued telling me the story of her daughter’s marital collapse, I could hear the pain in her words. My heart grieved for her. I knew this subject all too well.

“You know these are the kinds of situations I deal with all the time,” I said. “Even though Ron wants a divorce, the situation is not hopeless.  If Melanie focuses on God and allows God to show her the changes He wants your daughter to make, things can possibly turn around.  I’ve seen it happen many, many times.

“But both people have to want it,” she said.

“No, they don’t!” I shook my head to emphasize my point. “One person, who doesn’t want the marriage to end, can begin the process of turning a marriage around.”

“But he’s already initiating a divorce.”

And then I told her about the many people who had come to our Marriage 911 classes with divorce papers in hand, couples who had not only reconciled their marriages, but were now thriving as husband and wife.  Families had been restored with children who had witnessed firsthand the power of God.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I don’t want to interfere.”

“How does your daughter feel?” I asked. “Does she want the marriage?”

“Yes. She’s upset, but she’s trying not to show it, and I know she has issues, but what can I do? I don’t want to interfere.”

“Just give her hope,” I said, “Listen to her. Let her talk, but let her know other people have reconciled their marriages even when divorce looked imminent. Encourage her to ask God to show her the things she can do to become the person God wants her to be. This is not just about her marriage, but about her, about her relationship with God.”

It Takes Two – Or Does It?

One of the most common fallacies I hear from people when talking about a “failed” marriage is that “it takes two to want to work on the marriage.”

While that is eventually true before a marriage is actually healed and restored, it only takes one person in the marriage to start the healing process.

One person who is committed to the marriage can actually turn a broken marriage around when he or she gives God their full attention. When their mind is focused on God instead of the spouse, God can open their eyes to their part in the marital breakdown and ways He wants them to change. As the first spouse starts to change, the dynamic of the relationship begins to change. The response of the resistant spouse often begins to adjust to the new behavior they are experiencing from the committed spouse, and the circular patterns of responses begin to shift in new directions.

When the committed spouse gives the changes a chance to marinate over time, reconciliation can eventually take place.

A True Story

When Marta first came to our Marriage 911 class, her heart was broken. Her husband had moved out and wanted nothing to do with reconciliation. Although they went to counseling, he repeatedly said he didn’t see them ever getting back together—ever!  But Marta clung to hope as she started going to church and began to feel the presence of God in her life. She began providing spiritual leadership to their children and felt more at peace. She sought God with all her heart and began to look at herself to see the changes God wanted her to make.

But even as Marta was making changes in herself, her husband continued to dash her hopes on a regular basis by telling her it was time to file for divorce. Still, Marta pressed on with God and asked God for guidance whenever she engaged in conversation with her husband. As a result, Marta stopped pushing and began to show her husband a new respect. When they had arguments, she realized that pressing her point until she could prove she was right wasn’t productive.  Instead, she stepped back and put things in God’s hands.

Eventually, her husband saw the changes in her and began initiating times for them to get together when they could talk and do things together they both enjoyed. However, he still had no interest in reconciling. That was not going to happen.

Finally, two years after they first separated, Marta came to a point where she knew she had to really let go and surrender it all to God. If he wanted to end the marriage, she couldn’t stop him. “God if this is what you want,” she prayed, “then give me the strength.”

As her husband saw Marta truly let go and prepare to move on, his eyes were opened, his heart was moved, and he told her he wanted to reconcile.  They got back together, and today their love is deeper and stronger than before. In her words, “As much as I wouldn’t want to go through this again, I know we are a lot stronger. Our marriage is better than even when we first got married.”

First Things First

Matthew 6 gives a beautiful picture of God’s love for his creation and his care for us. In this passage, Jesus demonstrates to us that God’s sufficiency far exceeds our adversity.  “Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 6:30)

God is aware of our needs. He wants to give us all good things and He will. But in verse 33, Jesus tells us how to find God’s blessings for ourselves. He says that first we need to go to the source, to seek the one who holds all things together in His hands, the One Who is our Provider.  “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.” [emphasis added] Jesus asks that we seek Him first, to search for Him with all our hearts to discover Him and the wonder of Who He is, and then He will freely provide.  (Matt. 6:33)

Above everything, God seeks to draw us to Himself, to take us deeper into relationship with Him.  Sometimes a broken marriage is one of the few things that will get our attention and drive us to truly seek Him so He can make us into the special child of God He wants us to be.

So if you are reeling in the belief that your marriage—or that of a loved one—is doomed for divorce, stop and change your focus. The person wanting a divorce doesn’t hold all the answers. The Lord of Heaven does. And it only takes one to begin the process of change.

1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

“You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

 

If you want to reconcile a broken marriage, let me walk with you through the pages of my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated to help you find hope. There you will find practical help that can guide you through the complexities so you can see how reconciliation is possible for you– even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

Listen to Marv and Linda’s story about their own three-year separation in a three-part series on Family Life Today as they both share from the heart about their separation and reconciliation.

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