Standing on the Ramparts

June 11, 2023 by Leave a Comment

Trying To Figure It All Out

ramparts - brick castle walls

Photo by Tom Podmore

SOMETIMES LIFE JUST SEEMS CONFUSING. No matter how we try to figure it all out, things are not fitting together like they should. It might be relationships. It might be a struggle for success that goes nowhere. It might be one problem piling up after another until we can’t regain our balance. It might be anxiety over the world around us. And although we pray, things just don’t seem to get any better.

In a recent Bible study, I encountered the prophet Habakkuk who was heartbroken over the injustice he saw swirling around him. He cried out to God in distress, and God surprised him with an answer. But when God responded to his prayer and told him His plans, Habakkuk continued to be confused. God’s response didn’t align with his expectations. He struggled to understand what God was doing. Instead of relieving his pain, it seemed God’s plans would accelerate the pain.

Habakkuk didn’t get angry or depressed however. Instead he had an attitude of awe. The everlasting God had a plan, and although he didn’t understand it, he knew in God’s goodness and sovereignty, the plan would work everything for good in God’s timing and in His way.

“I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected.” Hab 2:1

That was Habakkuk’s response, and it inspires me to grasp hold of the attitude of faith he had that led to that response.

Standing on the Ramparts

Standing on the wall around Jerusalem that protected the nation from coming invaders, Habakkuk could not only look off in the distance in every direction to watch for the enemy’s approach, but also wait to see how God’s plan would unfold. He waited with expectation to see what God would say to him next, and I imagine standing on the walls surrounding Jerusalem was a good place to get alone with God to listen for His voice and get His perspective.

Although Habakkuk was utterly confused by what God was doing, He knew the character of God. He knew that God was sovereign, holy and good, and that He was the rock to hold onto.

Habakkuk’s example of standing on the ramparts speaks volumes to me about a positive way to react when life is confusing or taking an unwanted turn and I just can’t figure it all out.

In times of waiting, when we can’t figure it all out, taking a step away from our circumstances can offer a new perspective. But even better, if, like Habakkuk, we position ourselves on the ramparts, we can see beyond the problems engulfing us. And if we ask God to come along beside us, his very presence lifts us above our circumstances. As we trust in Him further, He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear.

When I think about standing on the ramparts myself, I might actually be sitting on my screen porch, but I picture myself surrounded by miles and miles of a blue, cloudless sky looking out over a large distance—not necessarily of space, but of time. I begin by peering into the future of God’s promises and then into the past where He has already fulfilled many promises and answered many prayers:

As I gaze into my own past, I remember surprising twists and turns God allowed in my life that brought unexpected blessings

As I ponder scriptural stories, I uncover promises fulfilled in past generations which makes me want to dig down further into God’s character so I can understand more about this amazing God who is not only the creator of the universe but the God “who sees me.” (Gen: 16:13)

As I “stand on the ramparts,” allowing those reflections to take root in m heart, I can wait on Him to speak new truths into my heart and give me fresh understandings of His Word. And when that happens, I begin to see with God’s perspective.

There’s something secure and steady about the idea of standing on the ramparts. It’s not a temporary, stand or just a little break while I try to figure it all out. Habakkuk was standing on the ramparts as a long term strategy. He would stay there until God spoke to him.

An Attitude of Awe and Humility

But Habakkuk not only stood on the ramparts with an attitude of awe. He also stood before God with humility, knowing that his own understanding and interpretations were often flawed. “I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected.” Hab 2:1

The beauty of his words is in his unassuming posture and realization that it’s the humility of a surrendered heart before God that truly brings us answers. Habakkuk had already encountered God’s correction in the dialogue he’d just had with God. And he was ready for more. When we’re too full of our own preconceptions, we leave little room for God to speak to us. When our hearts are hollowed out, God’s powerful words can fill the void.

God is in this with us. We are not alone, and as we stand apart from our circumstances, humbly looking for God’s perspective we can stand strong and hopeful, secure in His sovereign power and love.

If we are standing on the ramparts humbly waiting on God, we don’t know what we will hear or what He will bring our way, but if we’re looking in all directions with open eyes and ears, if we are alert to His voice, we can anticipate wonders that only He can orchestrate. And we’ll be ready to receive them.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

(As a side note: You might want to read the book of Habakkuk for yourself. It’s very short (3 chapters), but a powerful example for us today. Habakkuk was a prophet in the last days before Judah’s fall. He was distressed over the corruption and sin he saw everywhere. And although he was glad that God answered him, he trembled at the prophecy of an invading and ruthless army that would come and conquer Judah as an answer to his prayer for justice. “My heart pounded . . . my lips quivered.”  Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity. . .Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine . . .yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior, the Sovereign Lord is my strength. . . .” Hab. 3:16-17)

If you are standing with a troubled marriage on hold, trying to figure it all out and you want to see how God will lead you, I encourage you to check out my two books, Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

 

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God’s 911 Help Line

January 12, 2022 by Leave a Comment

911 on red backgroundTHE WORLD FEELS a bit crazy, and for some, even scary right now. One Covid 19 variant after another billows through our cities. Political unrest plagues communities. Families are stressed and marriages struggling.

Our hearts cry out for something to steady us, something dependable to lean on in the midst of the crazy.

I could offer words of reassurance of my own, but God has already given us a 911 power line to hang onto when circumstances reel out of control. Psalm 91:1 says, “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” And the verses that follow in Psalm 91 tell us how and why that help is so available to us.

So instead of my words, let’s go to God’s 911 Help Line and read together His Words in scripture.

Psalm 91 – NIV Version

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (NIV)

To reinforce what God is saying to you here, you might want to read this again in a version using everyday language. God’s 911 Help Line might feel more accessible to you when the images seem more familiar and real in this day and time. This is from The Message version of the Bible.

Psalm 91 – The Message version

91 1-13 You who sit down in the High God’s presence,
spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow,
Say this: “God, you’re my refuge.
I trust in you and I’m safe!”
That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you’re perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God’s your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they’ll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

14-16 “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,
“I’ll get you out of any trouble.
I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I’ll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!”

When you’re feeling frightened by what’s happening around you and need something to hold onto, cling to the promises of God’s Word in Psalms 91. His 911 help line is always available, never busy, always reliable, and will never let you down.

And if your marriage needs a lifeline, my two books, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, have helped many through the mire of marriage messiness. They may help you too.

 

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Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well – Interview with Author, Candy Arrington

September 22, 2021 by 7 Comments

Book cover for Life on Pause-Learning to Wait WellWAITING IS NOT something most of us like to do. I usually try to get to a doctor’s appointment right on the minute rather than arriving early to cut down on the wait time. I groan when I see the light turning red right before reaching the intersection because I know it means waiting. Most of all, when my husband and I were separated, I didn’t understand why God didn’t answer my prayers immediately and bring our marriage back together sooner. Waiting is hard.  In stressful situations, it can even cause us to question God’s goodness. But author Candy Arrington sees purpose in our waiting. In her new book, Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well, she explores what it means to us when our life is “On Pause” and even shows us how waiting can be a blessing.

Linda: The books we write often emerge out of our own life experiences. What would you say was the motivation behind your writing Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well?

Candy: Several years ago, my husband lost two jobs within a year because of declining work in his field. After the first job loss, he secured employment within a few weeks. However, after the second, we encountered a life pause, a time of uncertainty and frustration. As weeks became months, we dealt with the anxiety and fear associated with waiting.

However, this was not our first experience with a season of waiting. Early in our marriage, we traveled the difficult road of infertility. Those years of surgeries, procedures, and heartache were stressful and tested our faith. Thankfully, I was eventually able to conceive and deliver two healthy children over a four-year period.

I’d like to say I handled the years of infertility well, but, in truth, I was angry with God and hurt by thoughtless and intrusive comments from those who had no right to make judgements or give unwanted advice. The infertility years taught me a lot about trusting God and tuning out Satan’s voice. Often, we believe Satan’s lies instead of focusing on promises in God’s Word.

Sometimes, when God sidelines us in a season of waiting, we fail to learn from the experience because we are so consumed with worry about what will happen next. Learning to wait well is a challenge, but if we’re willing, we can learn and grow in a time of waiting, while also strengthening our faith muscles.

Linda: Why do you think most people struggle with waiting?

Candy: We live in an impatient society. We’re trained by advertising to think we must respond immediately to offers, hurry to make purchases, or sign up for events so we don’t miss out. We chafe at delays in drive-thru lines or other waiting scenarios. By our very nature as humans, we are impatient. We want what we want without delay, regardless of consequences or who is hurt by our impulsiveness.

Waiting is counterculture, and like so much in the life of faith, requires us to take a step back from urgency, look to God for direction and discernment, and trust his timing.

Linda: That is so very true. When I tell people my husband and I were separated for three years, people are aghast that I could wait that long for God to bring healing to our marriage. Waiting is hard, but I believe God uses it for His purposes. Tell me, what do you think are the benefits of waiting? Is it ever beneficial?

Candy: We live in a world of instant everything, so waiting feels negative. God’s plans, methods, and time frame are rarely ours, and he has reasons for allowing life pauses. Here are a few I’ve discovered:

Protection – God sees the full picture of our lives while we see only snapshots. Waiting may be God’s way of protecting us from potential Headshot of author Candy Arringtonhazards of which we are unaware.

Preparation – A time of waiting prepares us for what lies ahead. Each difficult situation or period of waiting requires us to acknowledge God, trust him for resolution, and prepares us for future challenges.

Patience – Life pauses help us to cultivate patience, which is something most of us lack. Patience requires discipline, and discipline translates positively into other areas of life.

Rest – A season of waiting may be solely for the purpose of providing rest, a chance to reassess, or recover from trauma, stress, or grief.

Reflection – Most of us move through life at such a rapid pace we rarely take time to process emotions, spend more than brief moments in Bible study and prayer, and reflect on what God is doing in our lives. Seasons of waiting slow us and help us gain new perspective on what is truly important.

Renewal – Life is hard, and obedience to God’s directive to pause allows time for recharging physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Linda: All of those are great points. In light of what we’ve all been going through over the last two years, do you feel the timing of the publication of Life on Pause is significant?

Candy: Yes, when I presented this book idea to a publisher at a conference in 2019, it was not the book I had planned to pitch. But while I was waiting for my appointment, God reminded me of an article I wrote several years before for CBN.com titled “6 Simple Truths for Seasons of Waiting.” I was resistant to moving in a different direction because I had no proposal for a book on waiting, but I pulled up the article on my phone and used it as my outline. Six months later, when I signed a contract for the book, I had no idea our country, and our world, were about to enter a time of waiting related to the pandemic.

Looking back, I can see how God orchestrated the timing of the writing of my book and the publication, and, in fact, the idea for the book in the first place. I was much more in tune with the emotions and uncertainty of waiting as I wrote, and had greater insight, because I was living it!

That is how it is when our lives take an unexpected detour. Often, we can’t see God’s hand in our circumstances until after we wade through deep waters and reach the shore on the other side. Then, we can see he guided us, removed obstacles, and held us up when turbulent trials threaten to pull us under.

Linda: Are there any features in your book, Life on Pause that seem to have ministered most to readers?

Candy: I believe some of the most powerful parts of the book are the eight personal stories of waiting. So many people have said they identify with one or more of the stories because of the honesty and transparency of those who were willing to share.

Often, privacy or embarrassment prevents us from talking about hard life experiences, but when we share our difficulties, and how God taught us in those circumstances, others receive encouragement for what they are facing.

Linda: What do you most want readers to take away from this book?

Candy: In reading Life on Pause, I want readers to learn to see positives when sidelined in a time of waiting, or really in any situation they encounter that causes them to feel out of control or doesn’t make sense to them. I hope readers will realize how crucial it is to trust God’s timing rather than rushing ahead. I want them to cultivate listening ears that are open to God’s direction. When viewed from God’s perspective, waiting is a gift. Embrace waiting. Learn from it. Utilize it. And as you wait, draw closer to God.

Linda: Where can people purchase Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well as well as find out more about your ministry and your other books, such as When Your Aging Parent Needs Care and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide

Candy:  My books can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other online booksellers and local stores as well. You can see more about my other books and ministry at  CandyArrington.com

 

 

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What Does Hope Look Like?

May 19, 2021 by Leave a Comment
Hope written on one of the rocks in a pile of rocks

Photo by Nick Fewings

WHILE I WAS READING the heart-breaking but hope-filled story of Hannah in the Bible, I was struck with how her submission to the Lord in her adversity was filled with joy and a sense of expectation. She had been childless for years and tearfully sought God to open her womb. With a deep trust in God’s providence, however, she vowed to give the child to God if He granted her request.

And she did. When she gave birth to her son Samuel the following year, she took him to the temple as soon as he was weaned, dedicated him to God, and left him with Eli, the priest. And she did it with great joy.

But what kind of hope is that? What kind of answer is that? Didn’t she want a child to cuddle and love? To raise and look after? She gave the child away! What was her hope? What was the reason for her joy?

And that makes me ask the question. What is OUR hope?

What does hope look like for US—for you—for me?

When we’re going through a troublesome time and hope for a good outcome, what does hope usually look like for us? “If I can just get through this crisis . . . if my husband will come home to me . . . if my test results show that I’m cured . . . if I can get that job . . . if my son quits his addiction.” If, if, if . . . .  We want the pain of the situation to end. We want good things in our life. Then we’ll be alright.

We’re standing on the precipice and we just don’t want to fall off the cliff. We want a safety net to catch us, a plateau of safety so we can escape the stressful or frightening circumstances we face.

But what if hope is more than that that? What if hope is not just that we’ll be safe, but that as we stand on the edge of the cliff, we will actually see a beautiful meadow of multi-colored blessings unfurling before our eyes? What if we can see that our present problem will actually become part of God’s greater plan, a plan that, in fact, wouldn’t be as perfect without our painful circumstances?

Hannah’s prayer was rooted in a bigger hope than merely having a child to raise and look after. She tied her hope to God’s eternal plan and His larger story for the peoples of the earth. With a heart of expectation, she dedicated her child to God’s larger purposes. As a result, Samuel became God’s prophet to lead the nation of Israel throughout his lifetime. He was a transformative figure who God used to bring about the reign of David. And as a post script, God gave Hannah three more sons and two daughters afterwards.

As I write this, I think about a couple of paragraphs I wrote in my book Broken Heart on Hold in which I share how God walked with me through the pain of my three-year separation.

“Gradually God unfolded to me a deeper reality. What I was experiencing was not just about me, nor was it just about my husband and me . . . or our marriage. It was about a picture God was composing even as I stood poised on the tip of his paintbrush spilling tears upon the canvas to soften the harsh colors of the palette.

As I spent time with him in prayer, his larger purpose began to take form before my eyes. This grievous time was only one part of God’s bigger picture. What this part of the picture would ultimately look like however, depended in large part on me and what I did with my circumstances. It could be an obscure narrow section angled awkwardly among the other images on the canvas. Or it could become a shining blast of color and light shedding rays of illumination on the surrounding landscape. It was up to me to seek and find his larger design.” (From Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.)

Yes, as I walked through that dark tunnel of hopelessness, God eventually brought me to the light at the other end, and the light of His plan was glorious. Not only did He restore our marriage, but He allowed my pain to become comfort and hope for others walking this difficult journey. And when someone tells me how much my books have helped them, my heart swells with joy at God’s beautiful plan of redemption. I didn’t know back then I would write these books, but because I persevered with God, He used my pain to bring healing to others.

So what does hope look like?

Perhaps seeing hope requires us to open our eyes to more than what our limited earthly vision often encompasses.  To catch the vision, we must start by trusting God with a sense of expectation, trusting that even in the midst of our fears God is going to do something wonderful.  When we can tether our hope to God’s limitless resources and love, trusting that when given to Him, the experience we are going through will be like a seed planted in good soil that sprouts and multiplies into an eternal spring of beauty, then we will know the joy of the Lord that becomes our strength. Hope becomes our peace.

If you’re struggling to understand, if—like me—you’re asking what does hope look like, turn your eyes upward.

Lift your eyes to the Lord. Let Him enlarge your vision. Let your hope look beyond the problems and the temporal solutions. Grasp hold of God’s promises and love so your hope can grow into a mustard-seed faith, trusting that God has a purpose for your pain to use in some exquisite way that will make it all worthwhile in the unfolding of His eternal plan.  Seek Him with all your heart and let Him fashion your future to fit into His greater blessings.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5).

*Read Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1–2:11 and 2:16-21

If you need hope for your marriage, let me walk beside you through the pages of my book, Broken Heart on Hold. Together we’ll find hope and strength for the journey.

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When Your Mind is Muddled

April 29, 2021 by Leave a Comment

woman working in the garden“HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).

A few days ago, my day seemed to hit one crash after another. First, I received a rejection from an editor I had really wanted to work with. Next, I found a minor medical problem wasn’t so minor after all and needed serious attention. Thirdly, I received a discouraging report about another problem that was escalating.

Why does bad news always seem to come in threes?

I felt muddled and scrambled in my mind. Disappointment mixed with questions and genuine concern thrashed around in my head. My emotions felt unsteady and troubled. Even my prayers felt shallow and inconsequential. “Where are you, God?”

Standing at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and felt drawn to the peace and quiet of my backyard where fern fluttered in the breeze and the greens of grass and other nearby plants beckoned.

Instinctively, the uneasiness within me led me to my gardening tools, where I picked up a shovel, donned my garden gloves and headed outdoors to work in the yard where I can always count on feeling God’s presence surrounding me in His creation.

The next day, although calmer, intermittent traces of anxiety continued to spike through my emotions.

So I sat at my computer and spent the day writing—an endeavor I love that takes my mind to new levels of God’s grace. By the end of the day I felt better, and thanked God for His continued presence, knowing that through all circumstances, “He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Through my yard work and my writing, I’d found two of the paths God had provided for me to find His peace.

How and why did this help?

When our minds are muddled and emotions unsettled, where do we go for peace? Ideally, going straight to the Bible and spending time in prayer steadies our hearts and minds and gives us perspective. That’s the best answer. But sometimes we first need to transition into a place of restoration where our hearts are more open to hear God’s voice.

Identifying calming influences in our lives that help us pull together our muddled emotions and become centered again is important for each of us. If we allow our emotions and agitated thoughts to have free reign, they can lead us away from God and into places we don’t want to go. But if we channel them into nurturing avenues God has wired into our DNA, we can enter into a more peaceful place.

Each of us is different. While for me, writing and working in the yard comforts my spirit, for you it might be an artistic endeavor like playing the piano, painting, or sculpting. Or perhaps working with your hands on a project in your workshop or car helps unravel the stress that holds your mind and spirit captive.  Maybe you have an athletic bent so that riding a bike, throwing a few hoops of basketball, or working out in the gym calms you.

One of the ways God gives us peace is through the gifts He gives us in our own DNA – gifts that mobilize us and inspire us to action. When we recognize positive activities that nurture our spirits and bring us peace, God can draw us to a place of rest where we are better able to hear His voice.

What is it for you that calms your spirit? What do you feel drawn to when your mind is muddled that lies within God’s boundaries of morality and goodness? What activities help you expel the tension that binds up your joy? If you don’t know, start by taking a walk in a park or an area rich with natural beauty. While we have diverse interests that calm us, God’s creation is a universal conduit He uses to bring healing to our spirits. So if we’re unsure of the gifts God has given us to bring peace, we can always start with nature.

God has created each of us to have diverse interests and talents. Discovering what they are can serve us well as we navigate a troubled world and the unpredictable ups and downs of life. As you submit to God’s nurturing hand in these activities, let them lead you back to Him. For it is in Him you’ll find the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7). And it is through Him that “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life (Psalm 23: 6).

What is your happy place?

What is an activity that calms you when your mind feels muddled?

If you need to find peace in the middle of a troubled marriage, I invite you to let me walk beside you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. It can be an encouraging friend to you as you walk this lonely journey.

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5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

April 7, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

  • God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of  connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

  • God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was Cover for book, Finding Hope in Crisiscoming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

  • God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

  • God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

  • God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Photo of Grace Fox

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

 

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Healthy Living Series—Interview with author, Susan Neal

August 26, 2020 by 1 Comment

In the year of Covid, our lives are more intertwined with health concerns than ever before. Stress exacerbates health issues, and health issues exacerbate stress. Finances, jobs, school, relationships and health all lumped together in a pot of worry stew. When facing other challenges in life, our health sometimes takes a back seat. But during these precarious times, we need to take care of ourselves and be aware of how to nurture our bodies so we can stay strong and healthy. If you are going through challenging times with health, weight, or diet, award winning author Susan Neal’s series of books called the Healthy Living Series may provide the encouragement you need to live a healthier, more productive life. Susan is an RN with a masters in health science and an MBA and has a passion to help others improve their health.

Linda: Susan, what prompted you to write this series of books that you call the Healthy Living Series?

Susan: When my sister was diagnosed with gluten sensitivity, she asked me to help her stop eating wheat. From my experience, this is difficult to do, so I created a seven-step plan for her to follow. My sister took the seven-step plan to heart. Her liver enzymes returned to normal, her pre-diabetic state reversed, and her irritable bowel symptoms disappeared. However, she continued to eat sugary foods, not recognizing their effect on her health.

One year later, she got rosacea and needed to get off sugar as it contributed to this condition. She repeated the same seven-steps with success. But more than that she lost a lot of weight, her joints no longer ached, and she felt energized. The rosacea disappeared too! I thought others could be helped through this seven-step plan so I wrote 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates.

Linda: Would you describe for us that 7 step plan?

Susan:  Yes, these are the 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates

  1. Decide to improve your health through proper nutrition.
  2. Acquire a support system and knowledge to help make a lifestyle change.
  3. Clean out the pantry and refrigerator by removing unhealthy foods and clean out your emotions with God.
  4. Purchase healthy foods plus an anti-Candida cleanse.
  5. Plan for the start date to begin changing your eating habits.
  6. Prepare and eat foods differently than you did before.
  7. Improve your health through continuing this new lifestyle, never turning back to your old eating habits.

Linda: I understand this is a series of three books. What are the three books included in, Healthy Living Series: 3 Books in 1?

Susan: The first book in the series, 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates, won the Selah award and became a number #1 Amazon best seller. I wrote the second book, Christian Study for 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates, to help readers deal with emotional eating. Sometimes emotional wounds from trauma, abuse, or tragedy need healing to stop the cycle of emotional eating. The final book in the series, Healthy Living Journal, won the Golden Scrolls Award for best inspirational gift book. It helps track your eating and well-being to figure out if a specific food is causing problems. I put all three books into a mega book, Healthy Living Series: 3 Books in 1 so readers could purchase all three books for the price of two. You can click here and scroll down the page to read the first chapter of each of these books.

Linda: There’s a lot of health books out there, but I think you add something more to help the process be more successful.  From the title of your second book, it sounds like these books are written from a Christian perspective.

Susan: Yes, they are. Changing ones eating habits is challenging. I know because I craved sugar and carbs when I lost my health nine years ago. I suffered with ten medical diagnoses and two surgeries. One of those issues, a Candida overgrowth in my gut, caused me to desire the wrong kind of foods. As I was struggling to remove alcohol, sugar, and refined carbohydrates from my diet, I used God’s mighty weapons of prayer and the sword of the Spirit to fight temptation. I’ve incorporated many spiritual tactics into these books such as having a prayer/accountability partner. I couldn’t have regained my health without God’s help. 

Linda: I think that is important. Even when we realize we need to change our eating habits, it can be very hard to do. What advice do you have for our readers?

Susan: Many people have lost hope about recovering their health or weight as 50 percent of Americans suffer with a chronic illness and 40 percent experience obesity. But there is hope! God gave us nutritious, healthy food to eat. We need to replace processed food with God’s food, and gain knowledge and spiritual support to reclaim our health. With God’s help, you can!

If you choose to embark on this plan, you will radically improve your health and energy by merely removing sugars and refined carbohydrates. However, this plan is not a diet, where once you complete the seven steps, you’re done. This is a lifestyle change. Typically, diets are unsuccessful because after people lose their desired weight, they go back to old eating habits, which caused them to gain weight in the first place, and find themselves facing the same challenges again and again.

That’s why I’ve gone even deeper and created a course, 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Health and Optimal Weight. This course helps identify the root cause of poor eating habits and resolve it. Once resolved, you get your normal palate and self-control back. When you make this lifestyle change you can experience the life God intended for you to live. You will also be in better shape to serve Him better. 

Linda: With everyone having to shelter at home, are there supplements to take or foods to eat that can help people stay healthier so they are more apt to ward off this virus?

In addition to prevention tactics that I’ll list below, boost your immune system so your body can fight off the virus if you become exposed to it. Follow these immune building tips:

  • Take echinacea. I’ve taken Esberitox for over twenty years. This supplement includes two varieties of echinacea. The chewable tablets taste similar to SweetTarts so kids take them easily.
  • Avoid high sugar foods because sugar decreases the immune system. Don’t eat foods or beverages with added sugar, that includes sugar-laden coffee drinks.
  • Take a daily probiotic to enhance your gut microbiome which is where many of your immune cells are derived.
  • Avoid getting extremely cold. Lowering your body temperature reduces your immune system.
  • Eat a balanced diet with lots of vegetables and fruits. Avoid processed foods.
  • Increase your vitamin C intake by taking a supplement and eating citrus fruits.
  • Get your vitamin D through a supplement or get in the sun.
  • Exercise a couple of times a week.
  • Moderate your alcohol intake.
  • Sleep at least eight hours.

If you are interested in more immune boosting tips watch a YouTube video that Tina Yeager and I created “Immune Boosters You Might Already Have in Your Kitchen.”

Linda:  What are the prevention tactics people need to use to protect their health and stay healthy?

Susan: The number one thing you can do is wear a mask when you are in public. In addition, wash your hands for up to one minute, especially after touching surfaces in public places. After washing my hands in a public restroom, I grab an extra paper towel and use it to open the bathroom door to leave. I use that same paper towel to push the door open to exit the building. I leave the paper towel on the floorboard of my car to discard later.

Also, keep a container of antibacterial wipes in your car. Use a wipe to open doors to public buildings. After shopping, especially when handling money or signing with a public credit card pen, wipe your hands with a wipe when you return to your vehicle. Phones and purses pick up a lot of germs. Wipe off the bottom of your purse, wallet, and phone with an antiseptic wipe.

Linda: Where can readers find more about you and your books in the Healthy Living Series?

Susan: Readers can find my books, courses, and numerous free gifts such as 7-Days to Reboot Your Metabolism at SusanUNeal.com. My motto is “Inspiring others to improve their health so they can serve God better.” May God bless your readers’ endeavor to improve health and well-being.

 

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Attitudes Matter

August 11, 2020 by 2 Comments

Photo by JE Shoots-com

It’s funny how sometimes the things I write are more about teaching myself something than teaching others. A recent blogpost I wrote has been swirling around in my mind over and over for several weeks: the one I wrote called, “A Waste of Time”—the one I wrote about our attitudes while waiting.

It came back and hit me hard a few weeks ago when I encountered a serious computer problem that I absolutely could not resolve.

I had written a newsletter to send out to those on my mailing list. I was leaving for vacation two days later and wanted to be sure to get it in the hands of those who looked to me for encouragement before I left. When I tried to send it out, however, I got an error message, saying I was sending spam.

Spam? Spam? My newsletter to encourage those in troubled marriages was spam?

I tried to send it again and again, checked the content to see if there was anything that could be considered objectionable, deleted a couple of phrases that talked about “your mind exploding during crisis” and another phrase that might be taken out of context by algorhythms scanning content. I tried sending it to different lists. I tried sending it to just myself. Nothing worked I continued to get an error message that it was spam.

Finally, I turned the computer off and left it for a couple of hours to give my system a little rest. When I turned it back on, my password was not recognized by the server and I couldn’t get back into my email.  It was past 5 o’clock by now so I had to wait until the next morning to call our phone company—the day I needed to prepare for our trip.

I was on the phone for two hours with the phone rep as she tried to resolve the problem and eventually had me choose a new password. When we tried again to send the newsletter, it still brought up the error message. She advised me to turn off my computer again, wait a couple of hours, and try later.

I did. The error message came up the same as before.

Having to prepare for our trip, I had no more time to call the company again.

As we left for our trip the following day, the newsletter remained in my outbox.

It was during this time I found myself thinking about the blog post I’d written a couple of weeks earlier about how God sometimes values the process more than our achieving our subsequent goal, and–even more pointedly–our need to check our attitudes when we have to “wait”, when the computer doesn’t work, etc.

In times past, computer problems rile my patience probably more than anything else I can think of.  But this time I thought about my blogpost. I realized that perhaps the message I wanted to send to my subscribers might not be as important to God as my attitude when I have to wait. Maybe God wanted to refine me some more and prune that impatience from my character. Instead of grumbling and complaining, I needed to pause and pray. I needed to trust God that He was working behind the scenes to accomplish His best purposes.

I didn’t want to leave my subscribers in the lurch. But neither did He. After all, God can take care of those on my newsletter list far better than I can. He knows their every need. He has promised to take care of them.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:26-27).

My fretting and worrying about sending the newsletters wouldn’t help. But my prayers for those on my list would.  While we focus on the details of here and now, God has bigger plans for us and for those we love and those we want to help. Trusting Him, looking to Him, and praying will reap bigger benefits to ourselves and those around us than expressing our impatience and frustration in ways that do not honor Him.

****

“He does want to grow our character, and it’s a lifelong process.  Perhaps God’s purpose for allowing us to trudge through the process is reflected best in Paul’s instruction to the Philippians. “’Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:12-13).

Finally, 1 Peter 2:5, shares God’s ultimate purpose and design for these unwanted periods of “wasted time.” For those of us who are Christians, 1 Peter 2:5 says, ”’you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.’” From my earlier blog post on Heart Talk, June 25, 2020

When have you had to do an “attitude check?”  Join in the conversation and share your story.

 

Practical steps to healing your marriage — Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated available now.

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Surviving the Trial of Our Lives

July 2, 2020 by 2 Comments

God Sometimes Uses His Mysterious Ways to Bring a Marriage Together

Guest Post By Janet Holm McHenry

Photo by Josh Applegate

Every once in a while someone will ask, “What’s been your toughest trial?”

It all comes back quickly. Craig and I were sitting on a bench outside the courtroom when the jury started walking toward us to head back in after deliberations.

The disgusted, even angry looks on their faces as they saw us made me instantly ill.

Minutes later came the verdicts. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

A rancher, my husband was convicted of six felony counts of animal abuse relating to the deaths of six young calves that had wandered during a two-day blizzard in the Sierras in the winter of 2001.

We had thought the two-week trial was simply something we’d have to live through. However, from the get-go the judge seemed to have it out for my husband. He harassed every defense witness—even two cattle veterinarians and me.

When I was trying to testify that Craig brought newborn calves into our home to warm them during winter weather, the judge interrupted me: “Who are you, Virginia Woolf, that you go on and on?”

He also stopped evidence from being admitted, including auction records that showed my husband got top dollar for his animals.

The worst was when the judge would not allow our chief witness to testify—a UC Davis veterinary school professor considered the top beef expert west of the Rockies. He would have testified at trial that of the two animals necropsied, one had twenty pounds of feed in its stomach and the other, a high level of colostrum.

And so my husband was convicted, and we had to wait two months before the sentencing.  The wait was not easy for me. My heart would not stop racing, and I had to go on anti-depressants. I quit working my job as a high school English teacher several weeks before graduation.

I could not go out in public. The trial jury of our peers in our county of three thousand had slapped us in the face. One jury member was the business manager of our small school district. Another was a woman who had subbed for me in my classroom. And the jury foreman was the son of a woman with whom I had prayerwalked. I had walked and prayed for those people and my town. I could not face people.

I wasn’t so happy with my husband either. For years I had prayed for our marriage. We’d struggled so much that when Craig had a law office a decade earlier, I typed up my own petition for dissolution of marriage when I worked for him—just to see what it would look like. It didn’t look good, so I gutted it out. And while the convictions brought out a lot of the blame game on my part, I did my best to support him nonetheless.

On the day of the sentencing, we filled the courtroom with family and friends, including six pastors. The judge, seemingly alarmed with such support for Craig, gave him two years of probation and a fine that was the equivalent of a year of income for us. In the shadow that was our lives that was a bit of hopeful light.

After the sentencing hearing a large group of women surrounded me, and Craig’s friends surrounded him. I was stunned at people’s reactions.

One friend said, “I was so impressed with Craig’s faith—the quiet peace on his face.”

Another said, “He is a living testimony to the power of God!”

My mother said, “Craig could run for mayor and win!”

As they were speaking, I looked over at my husband, seemingly glowing with a calm and presence I’d never seen before. He truly was a testimony to the power of God, and a sense of love for him I’d never known before came over me.

Right then I knew that while we had just experienced the hell-on-earth trial of our lives, God had answered my prayers for my marriage through that awful experience.

For more than a year Craig and I worked together to write the appeal that he filed with the California Court of Appeals in Sacramento—documenting from the court transcript the more than two hundred prejudicial statements and actions from the judge.  And about two years after the original trial, the appeals court overturned the convictions.

When I told our story at a conference last year, an appeals attorney told me afterwards that in his career he’d only won one case—that’s how rare that happens.

Since that time God has blessed us with the best years of our married life. Craig has become outspoken about his faith, and I love him more than ever, proving the truth of my favorite verse, “Nothing is impossible with God” (Matthew 19:26).

 

Janet McHenry is a national speaker and the author of 24 books—six of those on prayer, including the bestselling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, in which she writes more about how Jesus’s prayers can help people through seemingly hopeless seasons. More information on her speaking and books can be found on her website: https://www.janetmchenry.com.

              

 

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Your Layoff Can Be a Gift in Disguise

May 28, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Guest Post By Mary Aucoin Kaarto

Photo by Tim Mossholder

“Who knows? Maybe this layoff will be one of the best things that ever happened to you!” chirped a much-younger, child-free co-worker of mine, upon learning I had just been laid off.

With my finances falling apart after the layoff, I found her response offensive

While I’m sure she meant well, little did I know just how prophetic her words would become years later. Ever since my book, HELP for the LAID OFF was published, my own personal two-year layoffs as a single mom and the blessings that followed them have allowed me the privilege of listening to and trying to comfort many people who lost their jobs. What has been especially rewarding is when readers follow up with me – even years, later – to let me know where they landed (so to speak), and how. I can’t count the number of times people have told me they were grateful for their layoffs, which allowed them to go back to school, decide to go into business for themselves, spend more time with their kids, etc. Many of them, like me, decided to believe God when He said He had a good plan for their lives.

My first layoff occurred in the early 1990s and the second, began in 2002. Suffice it to say that while I have some experience in terms of the hardships that follow, I can’t begin to imagine how difficult a layoff must be in the midst of this unexpected pandemic. But what I do know, God is still the same: yesterday, today and forever.

The same God that formed you in the womb, gifted you with unique skills and abilities, raised Jesus from the dead, parted the Red Sea, gave sight to the blind and yes – allowed you to lose your job – is the same God who I know will provide for, comfort, strengthen, teach and guide you into a blessed and beautiful future. Because we know God plays no favorites, what He did for me, He will do for those who follow where He leads. Even when they can’t see where He’s taking them, how long it will take to get there, or why.

If you’ve been laid off, I know you may be frightened.  Because of my own two layoffs, I can  understand and empathize. But I want to share one of the many incredible true stories of what I experienced during and after my first layoff, believing it will both encourage you and give you hope. I will share some practical tips I learned as well at the conclusion.

My Story

For almost 20 years while raising my daughter as a single mom and working as an administrative assistant, my dream career was to travel and write for a living—in spite of not having a degree. Shortly before I experienced my first two-year layoff, I decided if I did not do something to try making a career change, God certainly was not going to.

So, I did.

As crazy as it sounds, I called an editor from the Houston Chronicle, introduced myself and pitched her an idea for a story. Layoffs can make a girl do crazy things. Much to my surprise, even after learning I had never been published, she gave me the chance. Even more shocking, she decided to publish it the following week. She gave me a second assignment soon afterward, and a 10+ year working relationship began.

Also, during this layoff and after having received many additional writing assignments, I began contacting local magazines to see if I could find work. Much to my surprise, doors were opened. I began writing about subjects I knew nothing about, shaking in my britches in fear.

Although I was pleased to receive some assignments every month or two, it still wasn’t enough to live on, but it encouraged me to pursue my writing dream.

After about one year, God led me to approach oil and gas magazines. Do you have any idea just how crazy THIS was? The only thing I knew about oil and gas was that you needed them in order to drive a car.

So, I did.

One day I was able to get an editor of one on the phone, so I introduced myself, explained the purpose of my call, and we ended up chatting a blue streak for well over an hour. Jim (not his real name) was just the nicest guy on the planet.

“You have been such a delight to talk to. I am sorry that the company does not hire freelancers, but I would enjoy reading your work. Send me your resume and some of your clips,” he said.

So, I did.

Shortly after this, I received a long-term contract position for an engineering company through a temporary employment agency, which, of course, had no benefits. Even though I realized this temporary job could end at any time, I strongly sensed God challenging me to step out in faith to rent a much more expensive apartment. I felt I had lost my mind that hot day in July as this new apartment increased my rent by $300 month.

I continued to look for a “real” job. A job with a good salary, health insurance, a 401K plan, paid sick leave and paid vacation. Editorial positions are few and far between, even and especially in Houston. Finally, one day, an ad appeared for a full-time editorial position, and I applied for it.

Who knew the publisher himself would call me for an interview? And that one of the editors was the same guy I talked to the year before when I was scouting for freelance assignments? Or, that I would actually receive a job offer? Without having a college degree, no formal training, no mentor and no foot in the door? #withGodallthingsarepossible

Helpful Tips for Navigating the Financial Pain

But what are some practical strategies you can try now to help your financial situation? Some of the ways I learned to make ends meet are as followed:

  1. Bartering for services. A few examples included babysitting my hairdresser’s infant son in exchange for her styling my hair before job interviews;
  2. Taking my friend’s elderly mom to physical therapy appointments three times per week for several months, in exchange for her paying my utility bills; and
  3. Writing an article about my orthopedic surgeon’s practice in exchange for him examining and treating my knee after I fell 16 feet off a ladder.

A layoff is a perfect time to try the unthinkable, with faith as small as a mustard seed, and let God show you what He is capable of when you decide to follow Him.

Who knows – your layoff may be one of the best things that ever happened to you.

For there is no partiality with God. —Romans 2:11

Read more helpful tips for navigating a layoff in Mary’s previous author interview on Heart Talk for her book, Hope for the Laid Off

Mary Aucoin Kaarto is a retired award-winning editor and author of a series of books written specifically for those who are between jobs. Her new book, PRAYERS for the LAID OFF, has just been released. You can read about her first two books, Help for the Laid Off, and Hope for the Laid Off, in her previous Heart Talk interview. She has been featured on TV, radio and in numerous publications. For more information about Mary or her other books, please visit at https://marykaarto.com. Mary invites you to follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @marykaarto.

 

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