The Olive Branch

October 17, 2023 by Leave a Comment
An olive branch on top of a Bible

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out

IN MY BOOKS, I often talk about the importance of giving space to someone who seems angry or abandons us for no apparent reason. But I haven’t emphasized enough the importance of also reaching out with an olive branch at God’s appointed time afterward.

Recently my husband and I encountered a disturbing conflict in a business situation. The other party seemed contentious in their dealings and pretty much shut down all communication through their rude and threatening words. We knew we could take legal recourse and considered doing so, but a check in our spirits caused us to hold off from responding or taking any action.

Meanwhile we prayed.

After about three weeks, I felt a nudge in my spirit to reach out with a simple proposal to these people in which all of us could possibly feel satisfied. When I approached my husband about it, he agreed, both of us remembering that when tempers run hot, people sometimes say things they regret. As a result, we held out an olive branch to the other side by texting our proposal to them, not knowing whether they would answer belligerently, not answer at all, threaten us again, or think about it and eventually accept.

Surprisingly, we received a positive answer within 10 minutes after the text was sent. They not only accepted our proposal, but were ready to move forward with it immediately. And they did. The business relationship ended with “thank yous” and “your welcomes” and a peaceful ending to what had appeared to be a disturbing and stressful impasse.

As I thought about this experience with the olive branch, my mind traveled back to when my husband and I were separated. At one point not only had he pulled away from our relationship, but I had as well. We were at an impasse. I saw no hope. But because of my daughter’s upcoming wedding, I wanted to somehow keep things from being unpleasant for her so I went on a fast. During that week with my focus on God, I felt the Lord urging me to call my husband and invite him to help me pick out the food for the reception. The next week, my counselor smiled and called it an “olive branch.”

And that olive branch ended up with my husband and I actually enjoying each other the night we picked out the food for the reception, taking a stroll down a chic little shopping district in Winter Park, and beginning what I have later referred to as a time of “friendship dating.” Our friendship dating eventually lead to the restoration of our marriage.

As my thoughts dwelt on the whole idea of an olive branch, I realized how an olive branch had lead to the restoration of other relationships as well when a schism had developed. The restoration had begun with giving space so each person had a chance to cool down and reflect on negative words and actions, process regrets, and foster hopes. Most importantly of all, it had provided an opportunity for me to listen to God, spend time in His Word, and seek His wisdom.

So for those of you at an impasse in a relationship, I encourage you to think about whether extending an olive branch might bring unexpected rewards. If each of you have had space and time to reflect on the situation, the olive branch might be God’s next step toward reconciliation.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” Psalm 27:14.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” Psalm: 12:18.

If you need help in knowing when a broken relationship might be helped by giving a time of space, extending an olive branch, or other practical tips for bringing restoration, I encourage you to check out my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. 

 

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Filed Under: communication, Conflict, Fasting, How to win, Marital separation, Marriage problems, Reconciliation, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

NOW I SEE:: AUTHOR INTERVIEW WITH JANET PEREZ ECKLES

September 29, 2023 by Leave a Comment

Blue Butterfly on cover of book, Now I SeeSOME PEOPLE ARE AN INSPIRATION. Not only have they overcome overwhelming challenges in their life, but their face radiates love and joy. Whenever you meet them, the warmth of their graciousness creates a sweet and welcoming encounter. This is Janet Perez Eckles, author of her new book, Now I See: How God’s Amazing Grace Transforms the Deepest Pain to Shining Joy What makes this book so amazing, the title so enticing, and her story so special is that Janet is blind.

I believe Janet’s story in Now I See and the following interview will inspire you to keep going when life plunges into chaos and God seems to have forgotten you. This woman is the real deal and her story an honest revelation of how God can step in and bring us from heartache to victory. Janet has been featured on the cover of Hispanic Woman Magazine, 700 Club, Desperate America (Good Morning America), Lifestyle Magazine and Focus on the Family I hope this interview encourages your heart and shows you a path to hope.

Linda: Janet, what did you do when God seemed to have forgotten you?

Janet: I was 30, ready to live my happily ever after. While I stayed home, caring for our three beautiful boys, hubby worked as a CPA and provided a comfortable life for us. . .

Until the day a retinal disease robbed my sight completely. In only 18 months, I went from an active mom, driving, shopping and preparing healthy meals for the family to a blind woman. Blindness was never in my plans.  I ate self-pity for lunch and horrifying fear accompanied me to bed at night.

Linda: But I know that wasn’t the only devastation that happened to you. There was more around the corner. Tell us what happened that caused your heartache to be compounded by rejection and more pain?

Janet: Hubby who was also 30 didn’t expect his life to turn out this way. He married a healthy woman, vibrant, full of life and counted on a lifetime of happiness.

But now he was married to a blind woman, restricted in so many ways.

His answer was to find that happiness somewhere else—in the arms of another woman.

Linda: Where did you initially turn when the world crumbled into despair for you?

Janet: While I was living in physical and emotional darkness, my spiritual darkness was the most devastating. As a good Catholic girl, I repeated memorized prayers, obeyed rituals and doctrines. But none of them soothed my pain or erased my sorrow.

In desperation, I searched for answers in doctors, herbal healers, new age practices. My reasoning was if my blindness was cured, my husband would love me again, my boys would have a “normal” mom and my life would be like before.

Linda: So what changed for you?

Janet: God stepped in. And he revealed his answer. One verse at a time. A series of events led me to a Christian church where I found the Bible verse that shook me enough to realize my mistake, to recognize the wrong order of my priorities and my incorrect way of measuring my security. It was Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Linda: How did God create changes for you? Headshot of Janet Perez Eckles

Janet: I had to change first. I vowed to change my focus. With diligence and commitment, I chose to look to God, His Word and His promises. The more I listened to His Word, the clearer it became that although I had blindness, blindness didn’t have me.

In Matthew 6:33 God states He would add things unto us if we sought Him first. I embraced that truth and He began to add beautiful transformation, sweet changes and emotional healing.

In Ephesians 3:20 scripture tells us that God, by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we can think or imagine. Looking back now, do I think this is true? My answer is a resounding Yes! This was true in my physical darkness, in my marriage and my role as a mom. My husband saw the difference in me and after a series of events, He chose to come back. We became friends and God healed our marriage that lasted 42 years.

Linda: And now you’ve written a book that tells your story. How did this come about?

Janet: Why did I write my story? Statistics indicate that nearly every 11 minutes someone commits suicide. Life became too much. They’re overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, stress and despair.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Christ Jesus promises the freedom from our anguish (Psalm 118:5). He turns our weaknesses into strength and contentment (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Some say I should be living a life of misery—blindness, the murder of my youngest son, the acquittal of the man responsible would speak of a life of tragedy. But my story is one of joy found within glorious victories.

Linda: Your story includes something else that many women are dealing with today. What message would you have for today’s woman who’s facing infidelity?

Janet: To hang on, hang on tight to God’s truth—your husband is not the source of your joy. He’s not the one who makes you whole. He’s not the one responsible for your security or happiness. When you realize that only Christ Jesus is the one to provide all for you, your confidence increases, your peace comes back and your wisdom dictates your reactions and responses.

Obeying God and embracing His promises will strengthen you enough to recognize God’s power at work on your husband.

Linda: Amen to that! That is a message I continually want to share with people as well. So with all the tragedy you’ve experienced in your life, what do you believe is the secret to living with joy?

Janet: Choosing gratitude, always. Every circumstance has something for which to be grateful. I thank God I can see with the eyes of my heart. I thank God that I will see my son again in heaven. I thank Him for showing me the way to forgive the man who killed him. And although my husband chose divorce after 42 years of marriage, I thank God for new beginnings, new chapters, and beautiful horizons!

Linda; Janet, you are such an inspiration. I know you well and the light shining in your face every time I see you is a testimony to the truth of everything you are sharing here. How do you think your new book, Now I See, will help people whose lives are in turmoil?

Janet: When the world is in turmoil, what happens to your peace amid that chaos? The headlines foretell gloom and doom and personal suffering threatens to break you, yet God’s promises speak of hope and glorious victory? How is this possible?

My book, Now I See will strengthen your resolve!

Tragedy cannot stop you. My transition from being a sighted mother to complete blindness at the pivotal age of 30 proves you can rise above pre-conceived limitations.

Grief cannot defeat you. My path to healing after the murder of my son proves that even loss is no match for God’s healing power.

Injustice cannot bring you down. When my son’s killer was acquitted, I discovered freedom still lives in forgiveness.

Relationships cannot stifle you. Despite the end of my decades-long marriage, God’s work in my life afterwards proves life still holds promises of joy with fresh, new horizons!

Now I See will stir the reader’s heart as they’re reminded that God is alive, that He sees their tears, hears their sobs, knows their fears, and is ready to calm their storms.

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your ministry?

Janet: People can learn more about me, my speaking, and my five books at www.janetperezeckles.com. Now I See is also available on Amazon.

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Filed Under: Adultery, BOOKS, faith, Fear, health issues, Hope, How to win, Infidelity, Interviews, joy, Pain, Problems, Rejection, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , ,

Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? – Rising Above the Fear of Rejection – Interview with Author Gail Porter

July 18, 2023 by Leave a Comment

A woman standing straight and tall on top of a mountainBECAUSE THE PAIN and insecurities we experience in life often affect us in ways beyond our immediate understanding, many of us develop a fear of rejection that can hold us captive and keep us from enjoying meaningful relationships. In her book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? – Rising Above the Fear of Rejection Gail Porter openly addresses the issue of rejection by sharing her own story of escaping the shackles of the fear of rejection to embrace the freedom and joy of becoming the woman God created her to be.

Linda:  You had nice parents. They provided for you. They didn’t scream at you. They weren’t abusive physically, verbally, or sexually. But you still grew up with the fear of rejection. Can you tell us what was missing in your home and why this made you fear rejection?

Gail: Looking back on my childhood, I realize that neither of my parents knew how to create a loving emotional connection with my brother and me. It’s not that they didn’t love us; they didn’t know how to show love because neither of them had parents who expressed their emotions or their love to them.

I don’t remember their hugs or kisses while I was growing up. I can’t recall ever hearing, “I love you.” I would have cherished a hug when I bounded into the kitchen each morning. Or a kiss when I left for school. If I could have seen their smile or look of delight when I talked to them, I would have felt they treasured me as their child.

They could have created a sense of togetherness by asking my brother and me questions while we sat around the dinner table in the evenings. Typical questions, like “What did you learn at school today?” “What was one fun thing that happened today?” “Do you need any help with your schoolwork?” Those kinds of questions would have made us feel like they were interested in listening to us. I wish we could have laughed together, which would have helped bond us as a family.

In my adult life, I realized my mother and father didn’t know how to express their emotions to each other. I never learned to express my emotions either. I didn’t feel free to tell them when I was hurt, or disappointed, or afraid. I simply chose to become a well-behaved daughter, who didn’t make a fuss and had few demands. I didn’t identify this in my growing up years, but now I see I tried to be the person I thought they wanted me to be so they would love me and never reject me as their daughter.

Linda: How can the fear of rejection affect future relationships?

Gail: When you allow a fear of rejection to rule your life, you subconsciously hold back from expressing your thoughts and emotions. You stay aloof, even in adult relationships, because you don’t want people to know the real you.

I enjoyed meaningful relationships in college and during my career, and I loved those people as much as I could. However, now I see I didn’t emotionally engage with them. I couldn’t relax and simply be the person God created me to be. I was too concerned they might not accept what I said and did.

Linda: In your book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? you talk about fear of rejection causing you to build emotional walls of protection around yourself. Can this kind of behavior also affect your relationship with God? If so, can you tell us more about this?

Gail: Yes, it can, and I discovered that in a very unusual way. While attending a conference, the speaker talked about the invisible walls wePicture of author Gail Porter build to protect ourselves from possible rejection. For the first time, I realized that I purposely refrained from sharing much about myself, or my thoughts and ideas, because I feared people wouldn’t like me.

After that session, I went to my hotel room, I began talking with God about my inability to fully engage with people. During that time, I sensed God saying to me, “Gail, you have built walls to protect yourself from people, but you have also built a wall that keeps you at a distance from me.”

His words devastated me because I loved Him so much; yet, those words helped me realize the truth. I cried as I confessed my sin of not being open and honest with Him. From then on, our relationship grew deeper and more genuine. Our personal times together each morning became the highlight of my day.

Linda: Do you think some of us have a fear of rejection and don’t even know it?

Gail: I am solid proof that this is true. I had no idea that my home life was causing a fear of rejection to form inside of me. It took years for me to recognize that fear of rejection had motivated my responses and reactions to people and situations, and prevented me from saying yes to any new opportunities that I thought might lead to failure.

Linda: How does the fear of rejection cause us to live in “captivity,” as you call it?

Gail: I like the term “captivity.” We convince ourselves that by hiding who we are, we are safe from the rejections of others. In reality, we isolate ourselves and live a life of deception.

We don’t want to risk saying what we’re thinking, sometimes even to our best friends.  Fear hampers our relaxed and free interaction because we’re concerned that what we say may not be acceptable. For me, staying in my emotional hiding place made me feel safe from rejection, but that decision caused me to miss many wonderful opportunities that would have expanded my life and built my confidence.

Linda: How can a person release the fear of rejection and find freedom?

Gail: First of all, they need to be willing to let go of the emotional defenses they’ve built.

In my book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? I list the common ones:

  • Seeking love and acceptance
  • Building a wall
  • Wearing an invisible mask
  • Creating a persona
  • Striving for perfection

It’s difficult to release our defenses, because we’ve always relied on them. But we need to recognize our isolation is something that has prevented us from spending time with people who could have encouraged us and given us strength to live our lives as our authentic selves.

My decision to come out of my hiding place came when I finally admitted I no longer wanted to exist as the person I thought everyone else wanted me to be. In my heart, I longed to be the real person God created me to be.

We all need to remember that the enemy wants to keep us bound to our fear; but God wants to set us free. He will be delighted when we tell him, “I want to exchange my life of fear for a life of freedom.” He will lead us to the path where we can be free to be our authentic self.

Galatians 5:1 is a wonderful verse to memorize. “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.”  

Linda: I know you have a new book that just came out that is a follow up to this one. Could you tell us briefly how it adds to what you’ve written in Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? 

Gail: My new book, Living on the Path of Freedom: Leaving Fear of Rejection Behind, shows readers what life can look like if they choose to release their fear of rejection and walk on the path of freedom. Their new freedom will build gradually as they uncover characteristics of their authentic self. Instead of hiding, they will experience a desire to engage with others and a willingness to show who they are inside. By opening themselves to others and becoming the person God created them to be, they are able to live an authentic life. An important part of this book chronicles the experiences of ten real life people who were able to escape gripping rejection in their past and present lives to find hope, healing, and a life of freedom.  

Linda: Where can people find your book, Will the Real Person Please Stand Up? and learn more about you?

Gail: People can find my book on Amazon at https://gailporterauthor.com/Amazon-rejection-book  I also invite your audience to visit my website at gailporterauthor.com/

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Fear, Feeling unworthy, friendship, How to win, Interviews, Lonliness, Rejection, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

The Hope of TODAY

February 6, 2023 by 6 Comments

img002IN MY UPSTAIRS HALL, family pictures line the wall, photos tracing our genealogies into past decades. I stand looking at a picture of what I believe to be my great-great-great grandmother. I try to recall her name, but must refer to the big family Bible to discover it. In another photograph of my husband’s ancestors, a large family grouping of young and old, stand around the matriarch seated in front.  None are smiling, but on that day they were alive with hopes, disappointments, and ambitions, with the future stretching out ahead of them.

Now their future has become our past, and I look upon their likenesses and wonder what their lives were like.  I wonder if they achieved their dreams.

They lived and breathed from year to year in a world that was palpable and real . . . in an expanse of time that was THEIR time. They probably felt it would go on forever. It was their generation.

But eventually their lives ended and a new generation took its place.

And now it’s our turn.

And it’s our time. But like the generations before us, our lives have a beginning and an end.

Our Turn

When we are in our prime, it seems we will live forever.  There is so much life to live and so much to achieve.  Dreams rise up before us and lure us on, beckoning us to follow into the future. But time marches on and before long, we wake up to find our bodies not functioning as well and realize we are getting older.  Whether or not we managed to surmount our obstacles and attain our dreams, another generation is coming along behind, dreaming new dreams and eager to conquer fresh frontiers.

“All people are like grass,” says Isaiah,
“and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God endures forever.”  (Isaiah 40: 7-8)

In this window of eternity we call our lives, each of our days is a gift from God, each brand new, beginning with a sunrise unlike the one before.  And as we live today to the fullest, not in fleeting pleasures or empty and futile worry, but by submitting our lives to God’s bigger picture, TODAY can become a jewel in our crown.

The Happy and the Difficult

Regardless of whether these are happy or difficult days, each one is a gift that God has given to grow us and enlarge our vision of Who He is. Sometimes we will praise Him in the happy, glorious days of success and fulfillment, and other times we will seek him from the valleys of despair, but whichever place we find ourselves on any particular day, it is part of the journey of our life God gives us for TODAY. And it’s a gift.

I love how Sarah Young expresses God’s heart in Jesus Calling: “Some of My children find Me more readily during dark times, when difficulties force them to depend on Me. Others feel close to Me when their lives are filled with good things. They respond with thanksgiving and praise, thus opening wide the door to My presence. I know precisely what you need to draw nearer to Me. Go through each day looking for what I have prepared for you. Accept every event as My hand-tailored provision for your needs.”

And therein lies our hope. Our challenge is to seek God each and every day as a Gift from Him and let Him use our time on earth to the utmost of our highest calling.

Perhaps one day in the future a great, great grandchild will find my picture in a photo album or on the wall and not recall my name. But even though our names may eventually be forgotten on this earth, our hope transcends this world of withering grass.  For on some future day when rainbow colors streak across the sky and God’s music fills our soul, we as God’s children will find our names remembered and recorded in a living book, the Lamb’s book of life. At that time we will be taken to an eternal place of beauty where our deeds become lyrics for a song. Then we will join with all those other generations to celebrate God’s bigger story, the story we can choose to be a part of TODAY as we make choices now to live the part He created us to play.

And one day“the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it together. For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”  (Isaiah 40:5)

If your hope for today is diminished because of heartache in your marriage, let God speak hope and encouragement to you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold. It’s a book to heal the brokenhearted.

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Filed Under: Goals and Resolutions, God's Word, Hope, How to win, New Directions, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

Making Crooked Places Straight – Author Interview with Penelope Kaye

November 16, 2022 by Leave a Comment

Book cover for Making Crooked Places StraightWE LIVE IN a challenging world. Temptations surround us. We struggle with what is right and what is wrong. When things work out differently than what we wanted and expected, we’re confused and overwhelmed. Where does this chaos come from? In her book, Making Crooked Places Straight, author Penelope Kaye takes readers on a deep dive into a subject most of us know little about by opening our eyes to what she believes may be a disruptive force in our lives.

 Linda: How would you describe the theme of your book Making Crooked Places Straight?

 Penelope: Making Crooked Places Straight has a dual purpose—first, as a spiritual warfare training manual, and second, as an exposé of the perverse spirit—how it works in the lives of believers and how to walk in victory over it.

Linda: That’s a rather startling concept—the perverse spirit at work in Christians. Can you expound on it?

 Penelope: Absolutely. Anytime we hear the word perverse, our mind immediately goes to sexual perversion, the homosexual agenda, etc. However, Scripture paints a different picture. The majority of the original Hebrew and Greek word meanings have little to do with sexual perversion. Only 51 verses have a form of the word perverse, but there are 19 different root word meanings, and only two of them refer to moral deficiency. The enemy has bamboozled us into thinking the perverse spirit is all about deviant sex, when in fact, the ramifications of this very crooked spirit can affect all areas of our lives, including the church.

Linda: How does that look in our daily lives then? Do you have an example?

Penelope: Sure. One of the Hebrew meanings for perverse means to rush headlong into. Think of all the impulse decisions we make, especially concerning our finances. Even more tragic are deadly road rage incidents.

Another definition includes the idea of turned upside down. In my case, I was fired from my job. Lies and baseless accusations out of my supervisor’s mouth ended my employment. Completely illegal, immoral, and unethical. And in that season of my life, God’s plans and purposes for me turned upside down.

Based on my research and experience, I believe the spiritual force behind these examples and more is the perverse spirit.

Linda: Are you implying that a perverse spirit can be the spiritual force behind our words?

Penelope: Exactly. Remember, Proverbs states “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (see Proverbs 18:21) In Chapter Two of my book, I devote a large section to the devastation a perverse spirit wreaks on relationships through words. Especially in marriages and families.

Several original meanings have to do with turn about or turn to the contrary. I can’t tell you how many times in my marriage that the perverse spirit turned our words every which way but the right way. I’m sure many in your community have their own horror stories to tell about innocent conversations turning into nightmares.

Linda: What made you want to write this book?

Penelope: I never wanted to write about the perverse spirit. However, one day I was praying for my troubled marriage, and the Lord said to read Psalm 101. One of the verses states: “A perverse heart shall depart from me, and I will not know wickedness.” I realized God was saying a perverse spirit was at work in my marriage, but I was under too much oppression to deal with it.

A year later, my husband left me. I remembered the verse and decided to do a word study on it so I could “know my enemy” so to speak. It was a mind-boggling, eye-opening journey, to say the least. However, the spiritual warfare and backlash that came against me was so intense that I put the study in the closet and left it there for 18 years.

A friend of mine was insistent that it needed to be in a book, but I kept resisting and basically ignoring her. God eventually began to get through to me that it was time to put it in book form. So it took about 9 months, but then it sat in the closet for 8 years.

I just didn’t think anyone would want to read about a perverse spirit, let alone find a publisher who would get it into print.

One fall day, I met a friend of one of my dear friends. Lo and behold, she began talking about the perverse spirit. My friend and I looked at each other and then shared about my book. This woman looked at me, pointed her finger, and told me God wanted that book out NOW! I almost stood up and saluted because I knew it was a command from the Lord.

I came home, did some major editing, pitched it to one acquisitions editor at a Christian writers conference, and his publishing house later offered me a contract.

There’s a whole lot more about this in my book, but that’s the abbreviated version.

Linda: You mentioned Chapter Two, “Uncovering the Dragon,” a little earlier. Tell me, why is it so long?

Penelope: It is long! Chapter Two includes the definitions of the original Hebrew and Greek root words, explanations in practical terms, real-life personal examples (including events in my life), and prayers. With nineteen different root word meanings in the original languages and several definitions within those meaning, a lot of ground had to get covered in Chapter Two.

To make it easier to digest, I broke the chapter into numerous sections with different subtitles. I also wrote prayers after each section to help readers on their paths to making crooked places straight.

Linda: That’s interesting that you added prayers after each section. By your doing that, I can see how necessary you feel prayer is in overcoming this. 

Penelope: Without a doubt. I realized early in Chapter Two that one nice, neat prayer tied up with a bow at the end of the chapter wasn’t going to cut it. Because the more a reader understands how the perverse spirit works in his/her life, the more shocking that revelation is. It was important to me to provide spiritual guidance with prayer all throughout the book.

Linda: You also used a lot of scripture in your book. Can you tell us why you used so many different scriptural references?

 Penelope: When I first began the manuscript, I actually didn’t include many verses. About halfway through Chapter Two, I realized that many Christians would have a hard time believing what they were reading simply because no one has written anything in depth about the perverse spirit. Consequently, I had a strong inner conviction to have as much biblical support as possible to back up what I was presenting. I went back through the manuscript to add appropriate scriptures and continued to as I moved forward with the project. The finished work has over 250 verses in the book. As a bonus, an appendix in the back lists all of the verses either quoted or referenced.

Linda: Tell us about the chapter on weapons.

 Penelope: One of my favorite chapters! To put it bluntly, what’s the use of uncovering the dragon if you can’t slay him and walk in victory? My absolute favorite spiritual activity is spending time with the Lord in worship, prayer, and his word. My second favorite spiritual pastime is beating up the enemy and enforcing our victory through the blood and cross of Christ. “Treading upon the Serpent” includes over twenty spiritual weapons to pull from our arsenal.

Linda: The publishing process can be long and difficult. You mentioned meeting your publisher at a Christian writers conference. Tell us more about that. Picture of author Penelope Kaye

 Penelope: My writing passion is actually children’s picture books, which is what I was pitching to editors and agents at the conference. Near the end of one of my meetings with an acquisitions editor, I very, very reluctantly told him about the manuscript for Making Crooked Places Straight. He showed immediate interest and asked me to send him a copy. I just wanted to forget about it, but he literally hounded me. Every time I ran into him, he reminded me to email him a copy. When I got home, he emailed me. A few weeks later he called me. He just wouldn’t quit. After several months, I finally sent him a copy, and less than a month later, the publisher   offered me a contract.

Linda: What were some of your challenges in writing Making Crooked Places Straight?

 Penelope: In order for readers to fully understand how the perverse spirit worked in their lives, I had to be transparent with my own experiences and pain. Sometimes as my fingers flew across the keyboard, I realized the words described me. Long-buried trauma pushed to the surface, and it would take days, sometimes weeks, before I could write again.

Linda: Were there any surprises for you along the journey of writing this book?

Penelope: Yes, I was amazed when God always provided confirmation, either through fresh revelation or others sharing their own experiences—especially since I didn’t want to write about the perverse spirit at all. Some of the definitions brought about many “aha” moments. Finally discovering how the perverse spirit showed up in the Garden of Eden was a huge eye-opener.

Linda: What were your goals for Making Crooked Places Straight? And how well do you feel you achieved them?

Penelope: I wanted to uncover the dragon—to expose the perverse spirit so believers could see how it worked in their lives and, more importantly, how to walk in victory over it.

I also wanted to give my readers hope—hope that God will make their crooked places straight and they can shine like stars in the midst of a corrupt world.

As far as achieving my goals, I fight back tears when I hear from people who have read my book and prayed the prayers, resulting in transformed lives. I am humbled and honored that God chose me to write Making Crooked Places Straight, that in spite of the pain and the trauma, he truly has worked all things together for good.

Linda: It sounds like one of your friends was instrumental in your moving ahead with publishing your book. How was she involved?

Penelope: Yes, my dear friend, Ilah Stevens always believed in it, always felt it would impact not just dozens of lives, but literally thousands of lives. Without her prayers and encouragement, Making Crooked Places Straight would still be in the closet. She’s in heaven now, but I know she is leading the cheers every time someone experiences freedom because of my book.

Linda: You included some illustrations throughout the book. Tell us about them.

Penelope: Because reading about the perverse spirit can be very intense, I added the illustrations as a way to break up that tension and give a little snapshot of how the perverse spirit works in a non-threatening way.

Linda: You wrote about Noah Webster a lot. Why does he play such an important role in your book?

Penelope: Noah Webster wrote the first American English Dictionary. But he was far from a Christian—even though he had been raised in a Christian home. For many of his adult years, he followed a very crooked path. Not until the age of fifty did he have a profound spiritual experience and become a dedicated follower of Christ. As a result, the foundations of his most profound work are found in scripture.

When I did the research and word study, I continuously found myself amazed at the revelations I uncovered in Webster’s dictionary. So much so, that I included the definitions of perverse and its various synonyms from his 1828 edition in an appendix at the back of my book. 

Linda: Speaking of research, what tools did you use in writing your book?

Penelope: The Bible, of course. Strong’s Concordance and Webster’s Dictionary 

Linda: What’s your next project?

Penelope: I am just in the process of releasing my first picture book, I Do Not Like the Rotten Egg Scent in Yellowstone National Park. Not very spiritual, but a lot of fun for the kiddos! I also have a work in progress on biblical women that I’m sensing God wants me to complete, as well as other children’s books, both faith-based and secular.

Linda: Where can people find out more about your book Making Crooked Places Straight and your ministry?

Penelope: My book is available for order at brick and mortar shops as well as online book suppliers, such as Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and others. You can find out more about me, my ministry PS2710 Ministries, speaking opportunities, and other books at my website https://ps2710.com/.

.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, communication, Conflict, How to win, Interviews, Marriage problems, Problems, spiritual warfare, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Can You See Me Now? Interview with Author Cheri Strange

October 12, 2022 by Leave a Comment

Shadowy figure in the background and the words, "Can You See Me Now?"IF YOU EVER feel invisible, ignored, and overlooked as though you blend in with the wallpaper when you’re with a group of people, the loneliness you feel can be overwhelming. Author Cheri Strange knows this feeling herself and wants to help you rediscover your true value. Her new book, Can You See Me, Now? Good news for the lonely, left out, and less than may provide a path to new hope and renewal for anyone in this situation. As a national speaker and visionary of She Yearns Ministries and her popular YouVersion Bible reading plans, Cheri has already successfully helped many women redefine their worth.

Linda: Why did you write this book?

Cheri: The initial reason for writing this book lies with my own history. This is my story: a place of pain and how God delivered me through it while my circumstances did not change. It wasn’t long before I noticed the same familiar pain points showing up in the lives of my daughters. I have six daughters originating from three different continents and cultures. My thought was to privately offer them encouragement and biblical guidance when facing these issues.

It wasn’t long before I recognized the issues were more widespread. No longer was it just me, and my daughters, but half the population. Experts estimate we are the loneliest society on record in the last fifty years. A large majority have felt left out or always feel that way. What these realities illuminate is that most women have come to know the sting of not being missed and would like it to be different. This 75-day journey equips a woman familiar with loneliness and being passed over to understand her value and enables her to experience the personal change necessary for becoming seen even if or when her circumstances remain the same. 

Linda: Who is your book written for?

Cheri: Can You See Me, Now? is for any woman who has ever been left out of the group, felt alone, or insignificant, and it offers a biblical path forward. It’s a 75-day journey toward genuine transformation with a guide and a personal plan to help you experience it.

Linda: Since this subject is so personal, I imagine it required a certain amount of vulnerability. What was the most difficult part of writing Can You See Me Now?

Cheri: The greatest challenge I faced in crafting Can You See Me, Now? was writing the beginning. It comes from such a private place of pain, getting it out in words ushered in all sorts of emotions, but this personal element wasn’t always there. In fact, the first time I submitted the manuscript, I did not utilize my own experiences. The criticism I received was the absence of a personal touch, or soul, which was intentional. Who wants to tell their inner struggles to strangers? Not me.

Rather than write the revealing, I filed it in a drawer. But when the world shut down in 2020, I had time to reconsider and pray. Yes. The message was incomplete without my journey infused. Oh, it’s not what we would consider traumatic. It’s just my ordinary experiences. And that, I realized, was the missing centerpiece. As I wrote, the emotions turned from regurgitating the pain, the failures, and the missteps to thanksgiving for the transformation in my own life that can be the reader’s as well. The path toward becoming seen is not limited to where we originate or even where we are today, but is cultivated through the Word of God, one day at a time.

Linda: I know that must be a blessing to your readers. Why did you choose to format Can You See Me Now into daily readings?

Cheri: Can You See Me, Now? leans toward being more devotional in style and pacing, divided into 75-daily readings that should take only a few minutes to read. That structure and design is on purpose. I have been writing for YouVersion, the Bible app, for several years. My readership largely develops from what is available on the app, and I have found this style and genre to be my sweet spot. I enjoy providing thematic Bible reading plans, utilizing Scripture to investigate a common theme. These are written in doable chunks for busy women with an invitation to make it personal, each day. This style of writing allows me to help make the teachings of the Bible and the whole of Christianity accessible to this generation. For me, there is no higher calling.

Linda: What would you say to the woman who is experiencing the life you describe to encourage her when she feels unseen and Picture of author Cheri Strangealone?

Cheri: This book is my best effort to answer this question without all the mistakes and missteps I took across so many years. The one thing I did right was call out to the God I wasn’t even sure loved me as an individual. I would suggest that God’s desire for your life is not to blend into the wallpaper or feel worthless. Start learning how God sees you and what He desires for your life. Let Him transform you one day at a time and even if your circumstances do not change, you can. And that makes all the difference.

Linda: What do you hope the reader will take away from your book, Can You See Me Now?

Cheri: It is my hope that the reader gets the sense that she is not alone in her loneliness. But comradery in our places of pain is not enough to draw us out of it or make us different. This journey means to illuminate how God sees her, how He can heal her, re-calibrate her, if needed, and draw her toward becoming who He created her to be. My desire is that she learns not to stop seeking, to ask God to fill her emptiness, to be willing to fail forward, and to make room in her life for becoming visible. If she internalizes these gleanings, she can work her plan for leaving the shadows and the lingering loneliness to become seen for all the right reasons in all the right ways.

Linda: What a hopeful message. But, Cheri, you haven’t always been a writer. What motivated you to do what you are doing? 

Cheri: If my life were left up to me and my desires, I would be somewhere on a back row content in obscurity, teaching history at high school. But that was not God’s plan. I feel like the prophet Amos who, when questioned about why he was doing what he was doing said, “I was neither a prophet nor a prophet’s son, but I was a shepherd, and I also took care of sycamore fig trees. But the LORD took me from tending the flock and said to me, ‘Go…’” (Amos 7:14-15) More than anything, my motivation for speaking, teaching, and writing is derived from the path marked out for me by the Lord. I did not choose it, nor did I desire it. I had another career, altogether. But this responsibility is obedience for me.

Linda: I assume that as a wife of thirty years you’ve had your challenges. What have you learned that you would want to share with a newly married couple?

Cheri: Chad and I entered marriage knowing full well it could end badly if we did not work on it. And the statistics are worse for those pursuing graduate school, which both of us completed. We intentionally set up safeguards, like restricting contact with old flames no matter how small the flicker had been. There would be no lunches or dinners with the opposite sex who is not family, and no going to bed without working out the problem or difficulty between us. We also sought out advice for finances and parenting. Still, the best thing we did for our marriage was establish our own daily walking with the Lord. Although we have hurt each other deeply, not behaving the way we should, this practice, alone, has allowed us to find common ground when our opinions differed, to seek forgiveness when we hurt the other, and love with the other in mind.

Linda: You’ve had some unique challenges as well. Please tell us some of the challenges you’ve experienced by adopting internationally three times?

Cheri: Nothing prepared us for the years spent building our family through international adoption, or beyond. In six years, we added six children. Five did not speak English, and one is special needs. All experienced trauma early in life with the scars to prove it. It’s not for the faint of heart or the bleeding heart who wants to save the world. It’s kingdom work, against heavenly forces and cannot be overcome short of long stents on your knees. What has enabled our family to grow together rather than become fractured is not our brilliant parenting or that we somehow lucked out with an awesome set of kids. We are a collection of sinners, just like any other family. God alone knows how to love those entrusted to us, and it has been our priority to learn from Him how and what to do, to seek counsel as needed, and to leave our egos at the proverbial curb.

Linda: What project are you looking forward to in the future?

Cheri: I am working on another non-fiction piece that offers a message of hope for the woman who is drinking from a spiritual well, yet remains thirsty for more—of what, she doesn’t know. It answers the question, what if all these needs, these desires, and the debilitating deficits were God-given so that we might find our satisfaction, and fulfillment in Him? Filled with captivating stories, biblical insights, thirst-quenching recipes and other practical resources, the reader will discover how her deepest needs can be fulfilled in Christ.

Linda: Where can people find out more about your book, Can You See Me Now as well as your ministry?

Cheri: You can find my book  Can You See Me, Now? from Bold Vision Books on Amazon, as well as my Bible study, Life Principles for Living Out the Greatest Commandment, from AMG. You can find more about me and my ministry on my website www.sheyearns.com, on the YouVersion app, or Instagram.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, Feeling unworthy, How to win, Interviews, Lonliness, Searching for purpose, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Wrestling – When Problems Seem Overwhelming

August 24, 2022 by Leave a Comment

woman sitting on beach with head in hands, grieving and wrestling with problemsPROBLEMS HAPPEN. Often. Sometimes they seem overwhelming. We wake in the night and find ourselves wrestling with nightmarish situations that we just can’t get control over.

How do we cope with these situations that seem to have no good answer? How do we win?

I have found the path to winning is often far different from the one we initially choose to take.

And it starts by first going to scripture. Ephesians 6:12 says, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

What Is Our Focus?

Too often, when we are wrestling with a difficult problem, our focus remains riveted to “the problem,” on our circumstances, on the people who seem to be causing it. We become so entrenched in thinking about our circumstances we can’t focus anywhere else. And by limiting our thinking. we fail to recognize who the real enemy is. It’s like we are keeping our nose to the ground, trying to catch a lizard when there is an alligator bearing down on us from behind.

During my husband’s and my three year separation, I taped a scripture to the wall, which I saw whenever I walked around the house.

“The mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6 NASB)

The scripture reminded me where I needed to focus my thoughts, and by focusing on the spirit instead of my fleshly problems, it often helped me escape the depression that frequently pulled me under.

Once we recognize our need to focus on God instead of on earthly things, we are on the right path.

Are We Wrestling WITH The Enemy? Or AGAINST The Enemy?

Secondly, we don’t recognize, that as children of God who have accepted Jesus as our Savior, we have a power that we too often fail to use – the power of Jesus’ name and the power of His Word.

And thirdly, because of our limited understanding, we find ourselves wrestling WITH the enemy when we should be wrestling AGAINST the enemy.  That subtle distinction in Ephesians 6:12 can make a huge difference in the way we tackle problems that confront us. For if we wrestle WITH the enemy, we are giving the enemy equal footing; we are failing to acknowledge the power God has given us as His sons and daughters. We are flailing in helplessness as negative situations overwhelm and try to defeat us.

So in Ephesians 6:12 (above) when Paul uses the word “against” three times, he is telling us to use the weapons God has given us to take authority OVER the enemy and DEFEAT HIM. The enemy is NOT on equal footing with us. “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (I John 4:4)

When we finally do come to this understanding, then we need to take advantage of the wealth of God’s armory – the weapons He has given us to fight AGAINST the enemy and win the battle.

What Are These Weapons?

Ephesians 6:10-20 tells us how to put on the armor of God, and that is basic in the battle so we know how to protect ourselves as we face the enemy.

But the weapon we use to fight AGAINST the enemy is described in Ephesians 6:17: “The sword of the spirit which is the word of God.” In other words, we fight with the word of God—scripture. The more we immerse ourselves in the Bible and know what God has said to us, the better able we are to use His words to fight AGAINST the enemy.

Using words of scripture that are appropriate to our situation become powerful weapons in our arsenal and in our prayers.

A few of my favorites are:

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (NIV)

1 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit of God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” (NKJV)

Exodus 14:14 “the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still,” (NIV)

Deut. 20:4 “For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (NIV)

Psalms 91:9-11 “If you say, The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent  for he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”

And there are so many more. Search the scriptures. Spend time with God. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Don’t let the enemy pull you under. If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, you are a child of God. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” (2 Cor. 10:4)

If you would like to read more on this subject, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated goes into this subject more thoroughly in two different chapters about entering the prayer closet and turning the prayer closet into the war room.

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Filed Under: Battles, Depression, Fear, God's Word, How to win, Prayer, Problems, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Choices in Our Challenges – Interview with Author Lori Vober

July 29, 2022 by Leave a Comment

The word Choices above the horizon with sun risingLIFE HAS A WAY of throwing surprises in our path, and some of them aren’t what we’d hoped for. Life can be challenging.  How we face those challenges, however, can make all the difference in what our futures will look like. In Lori Vober’s new book, CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make? Lori writes about making choices in difficult circumstances based on her own experience, beginning at the age of twenty-nine when she suffered an intracerebral hemorrhagic stroke, which eventually resulted in her having epilepsy.

Linda: What prompted you to share your story by writing CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make?

Lori: While leading my ladies through Bible Study on ZOOM during the fall 2020 and winter 2021, I heard that small voice that reminded me I was saved from a devastating stroke for a reason and had a story to share. I clearly felt God prompt me to start writing.

And I knew he was right. I am a walking miracle, and God wanted me to share my story and my journey of faith and perseverance to encourage others. I believe God has a plan for each of us, but leaves it up to us and our own free will whether we will have faith in Him and follow Him.

That is why I titled the book “CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make?  Life is about our choices! Even with my difficulties, I was able to become an adoptive Mom of a sibling group of three. My husband Dainis and I have been happily married for twenty-four years and reside in Goodyear, Arizona.

Linda: What are some of the challenges you have experienced?

Lori: Infertility, stroke, epilepsy from the stroke, job loss and a cross country move six months after my stroke, recovery, adoption, parenting, homeschooling, and a cancer diagnosis just as my book was launching

Linda: Why did you title your book Choices?

Lori: Life rarely turns out exactly as you pictured it, and we all face challenges along the way. When we face these challenges, we have a choice how we react to our circumstances. While God always has a plan, He leaves it up to us to decide whether we follow His plan or not. Life is about choices.

Linda: What main message do you want your readers to grasp from reading your book?

Lori: I believe God has a unique plan for each of us, but it is up to us whether we choose to follow Him and what our attitude is in our different circumstances. I have chosen to persevere with a positive attitude and hope the way I have handled my challenges can be a hope and an encouragement to others.

Linda: Do you have a favorite Bible verse you tend to lean on to help you in this?

Lori: Yes, Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Linda: After going through the medical challenges of the stroke and epilepsy, what made you and your husband decide to pursue an international adoption?

Lori: We had always supported kids through Compassion International and had been trying to start our own family when the stroke happened. We still had the heart to be parents but were concerned with my epilepsy and disability. Because of our love for international children from Compassion, we chose international adoption.

Linda: How old were your kids when you adopted them?

Lori: They were six, eight, and ten years old. One boy and two girls

Linda: How long have you been married and how has your husband reacted to your medical challenges? Was this difficult for him?

Lori: Dainis and I celebrated 24 years of marriage on March 28th. We were just shy of our fifth wedding anniversary when I had my massive stroke.

I always say now that I moved to Minnesota for my career but God moved me to Minnesota to match me with my Godly mate. I met Dainis at church, a month after his mom had passed away. She had battled hormonal cancer for sixteen years. We did not know at the time what our future would hold but God did. He knew I would need a mate by my side that could handle my medical challenges and Dainis was already equipped from watching his dad take care of his mom while he was growing up. He is loving, patient, compassionate, and has stood by his weddng vows.

Linda: How have you handled the stressful situations and typical parenting challenges, along with the medical challenges and life challenges, and still kept your marriage strong?

Lori: It is not always easy and like any couple, we have our disagreements. However, we respect each other and put our love and commitment for each other above any fight. We also have recognized how different we are and what helps to fulfill our needs. I am a people person and need emotional support. Dainis is an introvert and very black and white. Many things, like the challenges with the kids can’t be fixed. The solution was a girlfriend mentor for me that I could just talk to. It is important to recognize yor differences and work together.

Linda: What have you learned through balancing your own challenges, your kids and their challenges, and your marriage, that you would want to share with a newly married couple?

Lori: Put God first and make church a routine and a priority. Don’t let the kids ever come in between you and always stand united as a team. Always keep date nights and celebrate your anniversary together. One day the kids will leave and you will be full circle again. Make sure you still know that person you married when that time comes because forever is a long time.

Linda: What are your next steps in your writing journey?

Lori: I am finishing my second book now, which is a 31-day devotional based off my story and the stories of other authors displaying perseverance, a positive attitude, determination, etc. I am also a contributing author to several compilations coming out in fall 2022, spring 2023, and winter 2024. My goal is to continue sharing my story and experiences as a speaker also.

Linda: Did you always have a desire to write and publish a book?

Lori: No, my background is in marketing and sales. Writing my story started out as an act of obedience but then turned into a new passion, a time of healing, and a new purpose. This journey has brought me new friends, support, connections and taught me not to put God in a box but to always be ready and available to serve Him in the opportunities He presents to us. My newest favorite Bible verse is now Proverbs 19:21 NIV  21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Linda: In addition to writing and speaking, I understand God has encouraged you to branch out to use your circumstances in other ways to help people as well. Can you share some of that with us?

Lori: I am currently volunteering several days a week at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, where I had my hysterectomy this April after receiving a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. It was discovered after surgery to be a benign cyst, and I am cancer free but have the blessing of supporting and connecting with patients and conducting a creative writing class to share my story, writing prompts, and how my writing has helped me in my journey. I am also speaking at several stroke survivor support groups and participating in functions with the Brain Injury Alliance Group. I believe mentorship and supporting others is important when you have been together on that same journey.

Linda: Where can readers find a copy of CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make? And how can they best connect with you?

Lori:  They can find my book at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.christianbook.com, and www.walmart.com. They can also reach out to me for a signed copy through my website at www.lorivober.comThey can me at lorivober@gmail.com.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, health issues, Hope, How to win, Interviews, loss, New Directions, Problems Tagged With: , , , , ,

Don’t Go Down to Egypt

June 14, 2022 by Leave a Comment

statue of girl with water potIt was one o’clock in the morning as I tossed and turned in bed. Two huge problems loomed before me the next day, and I didn’t know how I would solve either one. Restlessly, my mind churned through a myriad of possibilities, searching for answers. Tired and longing for sleep–which refused to come, I sighed and again looked at the clock.

1:30

It was easy to see where this night was headed.

Okay, I thought, I’ve been down this road before. I’m going to lay awake all night worrying and then be so tired tomorrow I won’t be able to do what is needed to actually resolve this situation. This is so pointless. I need to go to sleep.

And then I prayed.

Earlier that morning, I had been reading in Isaiah 30 and 31 about God’s displeasure with Judah when they were besieged by the Assyrians. Instead of trusting God and looking to Him for guidance, they went down to Egypt to solicit help. Even though He, the almighty God had saved them from their enemies on so many occasions and showed them signs and wonders throughout their history, the Jewish people chose to go their own way and seek help from mere men who worshipped pagan gods rather than going to their powerful creator God.

Yet, the threat was very real. The Assyrians were a great and powerful army, and the Jewish nation in the natural had no possible way of standing against them. And even though it was thousands of years ago, it wasn’t too hard to relate to their dilemma. Earthly problems appear to need earthly solutions, don’t they? Spiritual principles don’t seem relevant when we need practical answers. God is wonderful, but what does He have to do with complicated earthly situations that plague our lives?

Well—everything.

Had Judah used their spiritual eyes, remembering the way God had rescued them in the past and trusting Him to do it again, Isaiah tells us they would have enjoyed God’s favor and been saved. Instead, they turned to worldly resources. As a result both they and the Egyptians came to ruin because the Jewish people relied on themselves instead of God.

As the memory of this scripture drifted through my thoughts, the words, “Don’t go down to Egypt” began circling through my head as well. I knew God was speaking to me.

“Don’t look to worldly solutions,” he was saying. “Don’t worry about how these things will be resolved. Trust me. I will give you peace.”

Don’t go down to Egypt.

Another story from the Bible popped into my mind too—the story of King Hezekiah. A fierce and powerful Assyrian army came against him also and demanded his surrender. But Hezekiah went to God, laid all the facts before Him, and prayed, praising God and acknowledging Him as creator and ruler of all. The next morning, thousands of Assyrian soldiers were dead before one arrow had been shot into the city. Judah was saved.

As I thought about God’s promises for those who trust in Him, I began to pray and surrendered my problems to God. Gradually, my body relaxed and before long I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to these words from Jesus Calling, a devotional book I often read to start the day.

“I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine. . . . Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me, to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation. Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention. Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life.”
( Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Don’t go down to Egypt.

God reaffirmed to me through Sarah Young that He was able to take care of my predicament. I was not to go down to Egypt. I was to lay my problems at his feet.

As a result, the troubles that had kept me awake that night gradually took a favorable turn. As God’s peace descended upon me and I continued to surrender the situation to Him in prayer, God opened a path through a seemingly complicated situation to make it not only workable, but perfect in God’s timing according to His inexplicable plan.

So remember: When problems or worries bog you down and you’re tempted to take things in your own hands. Trust God. Don’t go down to Egypt.

Are problems in your marriage keeping you from sleeping at night? If so, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, might provide some of the answers you’re looking for.

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What a Coffee Cup Taught Me About Love

April 4, 2022 by 1 Comment

Coffee Cup with the words of 1 Cornthians 13 about loveWhen you don’t feel loving, you never know what might put the love back in your heart . . . and in your marriage.

I awoke one morning not feeling very loving toward my husband at all. I was still  upset with him because of a conversation we’d had the previous evening.

At dinner, I had asked him to help me get some insurance papers off in the mail, but he seemed to ignore me. When I continued to prod him, he finally responded, but his answer felt rude and dismissive. The rest of the evening I avoided him by staying busy in the kitchen.

Now this morning my husband discovered a problem in his work and needed to resolve it. I could tell he wanted to talk to me about it, but I still felt hurt and annoyed over his attitude the night before.

I took a sip of coffee and looked down at the 1 Corinthians 13 love cup in my hands. My eyes immediately rested on a phrase inscribed on the side, which read, “Love endures all things.”

Humph. I don’t feel very loving . . .

But I knew what God was saying in this scripture and God wasn’t asking me how I felt.

God was just asking me to love. And my coffee cup was telling me that love “endures.”  In other words, love keeps loving even when it’s hard, even when you don’t feel like loving.

So even though the irritation still simmered inside me, I listened to my husband and responded. I was polite.

After we discussed his work situation, I glanced over at my husband and sighed.  “I’m still not very happy with you, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t feeling well last night and had so much on my mind. I thought you were referring to the medical insurance forms I’d received yesterday. I didn’t understand you were talking about the insurance for our trip.”

Oh my – miscommunication unmasked – a familiar and disturbing marital theme!

But God ripped away its destructive potential that morning with a gentle reminder. Our misunderstanding could have gone on for quite awhile with no resolution—except for my coffee cup reminding me about what it means to love and how you do it.

Which reminded me to pick up the Bible and read 1 Corinthians 13 again and think about whether or not I’m loving my husband God’s way—even when I feel offended.

By following God’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 13 about how to love, even when conflict arises we can work through the confusion that often threatens to divide husband and wife during confrontations and quarrels. When we are patient, we wait to hear what the other person has to say without judging. By being kind and gentle with our words, we show that we care and give the other person confidence that they are being heard. By rejoicing in truth, we work together as a team to find the best answer rather than merely insisting on our own way.

This familiar scripture tells us what to avoid as well for if we are boastful, conceited, or selfish when disagreements arise, we will pull further apart rather than finding resolution. When we get angry or begin bringing up past offenses, we muddy the waters, cause tensions to rise, and thrust what may have begun as a simple misunderstanding into thorny and dangerous new areas of offense.

But by protecting the hearts of one another, hoping to find resolution, trusting each other’s motives, and persevering until we come to an understanding, love can reign and hurts mended.

God can help steer us through many disagreements in the home when we follow the instructions He gives us in His Word, particularly when we don’t feel very loving. And sometimes it may help to start our day with the right kind of coffee cup.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV).

If your marriage is struggling and either you or your spouse don’t feel very loving but you don’t want to give up on your marriage, I invite you to check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. It might transform the way you think about the problems in your marriage.

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