Standing on the Ramparts

Trying To Figure It All Out

ramparts - brick castle walls

Photo by Tom Podmore

SOMETIMES LIFE JUST SEEMS CONFUSING. No matter how we try to figure it all out, things are not fitting together like they should. It might be relationships. It might be a struggle for success that goes nowhere. It might be one problem piling up after another until we can’t regain our balance. It might be anxiety over the world around us. And although we pray, things just don’t seem to get any better.

In a recent Bible study, I encountered the prophet Habakkuk who was heartbroken over the injustice he saw swirling around him. He cried out to God in distress, and God surprised him with an answer. But when God responded to his prayer and told him His plans, Habakkuk continued to be confused. God’s response didn’t align with his expectations. He struggled to understand what God was doing. Instead of relieving his pain, it seemed God’s plans would accelerate the pain.

Habakkuk didn’t get angry or depressed however. Instead he had an attitude of awe. The everlasting God had a plan, and although he didn’t understand it, he knew in God’s goodness and sovereignty, the plan would work everything for good in God’s timing and in His way.

“I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected.” Hab 2:1

That was Habakkuk’s response, and it inspires me to grasp hold of the attitude of faith he had that led to that response.

Standing on the Ramparts

Standing on the wall around Jerusalem that protected the nation from coming invaders, Habakkuk could not only look off in the distance in every direction to watch for the enemy’s approach, but also wait to see how God’s plan would unfold. He waited with expectation to see what God would say to him next, and I imagine standing on the walls surrounding Jerusalem was a good place to get alone with God to listen for His voice and get His perspective.

Although Habakkuk was utterly confused by what God was doing, He knew the character of God. He knew that God was sovereign, holy and good, and that He was the rock to hold onto.

Habakkuk’s example of standing on the ramparts speaks volumes to me about a positive way to react when life is confusing or taking an unwanted turn and I just can’t figure it all out.

In times of waiting, when we can’t figure it all out, taking a step away from our circumstances can offer a new perspective. But even better, if, like Habakkuk, we position ourselves on the ramparts, we can see beyond the problems engulfing us. And if we ask God to come along beside us, his very presence lifts us above our circumstances. As we trust in Him further, He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear.

When I think about standing on the ramparts myself, I might actually be sitting on my screen porch, but I picture myself surrounded by miles and miles of a blue, cloudless sky looking out over a large distance—not necessarily of space, but of time. I begin by peering into the future of God’s promises and then into the past where He has already fulfilled many promises and answered many prayers:

As I gaze into my own past, I remember surprising twists and turns God allowed in my life that brought unexpected blessings

As I ponder scriptural stories, I uncover promises fulfilled in past generations which makes me want to dig down further into God’s character so I can understand more about this amazing God who is not only the creator of the universe but the God “who sees me.” (Gen: 16:13)

As I “stand on the ramparts,” allowing those reflections to take root in m heart, I can wait on Him to speak new truths into my heart and give me fresh understandings of His Word. And when that happens, I begin to see with God’s perspective.

There’s something secure and steady about the idea of standing on the ramparts. It’s not a temporary, stand or just a little break while I try to figure it all out. Habakkuk was standing on the ramparts as a long term strategy. He would stay there until God spoke to him.

An Attitude of Awe and Humility

But Habakkuk not only stood on the ramparts with an attitude of awe. He also stood before God with humility, knowing that his own understanding and interpretations were often flawed. “I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer when I am corrected.” Hab 2:1

The beauty of his words is in his unassuming posture and realization that it’s the humility of a surrendered heart before God that truly brings us answers. Habakkuk had already encountered God’s correction in the dialogue he’d just had with God. And he was ready for more. When we’re too full of our own preconceptions, we leave little room for God to speak to us. When our hearts are hollowed out, God’s powerful words can fill the void.

God is in this with us. We are not alone, and as we stand apart from our circumstances, humbly looking for God’s perspective we can stand strong and hopeful, secure in His sovereign power and love.

If we are standing on the ramparts humbly waiting on God, we don’t know what we will hear or what He will bring our way, but if we’re looking in all directions with open eyes and ears, if we are alert to His voice, we can anticipate wonders that only He can orchestrate. And we’ll be ready to receive them.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

(As a side note: You might want to read the book of Habakkuk for yourself. It’s very short (3 chapters), but a powerful example for us today. Habakkuk was a prophet in the last days before Judah’s fall. He was distressed over the corruption and sin he saw everywhere. And although he was glad that God answered him, he trembled at the prophecy of an invading and ruthless army that would come and conquer Judah as an answer to his prayer for justice. “My heart pounded . . . my lips quivered.”  Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity. . .Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine . . .yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior, the Sovereign Lord is my strength. . . .” Hab. 3:16-17)

If you are standing with a troubled marriage on hold, trying to figure it all out and you want to see how God will lead you, I encourage you to check out my two books, Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

 

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The Word We Don’t Want to Think About

Man sitting alone on steps of altar

Photo by Ben White

SITTING ON MY SCREEN PORCH, I shut my Bible and gazed out at the spring grass trying to get a fresh start. I sighed and thought back to my harsh response to my husband earlier that day. I shouldn’t have said it the way I did. That wasn’t good. He didn’t mean to forget. I need to be more patient.

I was wrong. But . . . .No one is perfect – Right?

No, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said that.

A squirrel climbed out on a limb of our camellia bush and jumped onto the bird feeder, causing seeds to drop all over the ground.

I shook my head at him. “You squirrels are causing a mess!

But no one is perfect, right? Not even squirrels. I laughed. I guess we’re all just part of a fallen world.

Our Fallen World

Yes, since we live in a fallen world, we know we make mistakes. We know we do things wrong. But we also know no one is perfect. If we can just keep it to ourselves and try to do better, it will be okay—Right?

Well, maybe not.

Recently, I was confronted with an unwelcome reality. Through two different Bible studies– one about the Old Testament prophets and one in 1st John in the New Testament, the same message has been ringing loud and clear in my head. When I’m impatient, when I have a bad attitude, when I’m critical, if I have impure thoughts, it’s not just that I’m doing something wrong. It’s SIN. No, I might not be committing murder or robbery; I’m not cussing or lying, but as much as I’d rather shove it under the rug and shrug it off, I have to face it. It’s still SIN.

The prophets certainly didn’t shy away from that word. Over and over, they call Israel to repentance, enumerating their sins and reminding them of God’s mercy if they repent. It’s not enough to have religious rituals and say the right words, they say. God wants repentant hearts. God is merciful, but He’s also a righteous judge. The apostle John says in his epistle, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1: 6).

A Serious Subject

I cringe from the word sin though because when I use THAT word, I have to face the seriousness of my wrong behavior, attitude, or thoughts. I know God hates sin. And if I call it sin, I have to realize God sees it! He knows what I’m doing and thinking!

Even worse, Jesus sees it, and I must face the fact that this is what Jesus DIED for – my sin!

So that’s when I realize I must stop making excuses and take my sin more seriously. I must “take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5).  I must look for the “way of escape” God has provided for me when I’m tempted (1 Cor. 10:13). For He has told me to “be holy because I am holy” (1 Peter 1:16).

And when I do “sin,” as I know I will –when I get impatient, indulge in self pity or worry, lose my temper, tell a half-truth, then I need to “confess my sins to God. I can’t just ignore it and forget about it. What I do in secret is offensive to Him. The God I love is a Holy God and He cannot look upon my sin. My sin separates me from Him. I must bring it out of the darkness into the light. I need to repent, let God forgive me and turn away from it. For “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

The Better Way

For those of us who don’t want to think about the word “sin” and don’t want to grieve God’s holiness, it begins by actually taking sin more seriously.

To begin with, we need to be more mindful of our actions and our words – checking them out through the mirror of God’s Word so we can walk on a straight path toward righteousness. And on a regular basis we must pray that God will “Blot out my transgressions, wash away all my iniquity, cleanse me with hyssop, and make me as white as snow” (Psalm 51:1-2, 7).

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139: 23-24).

 

When our marriage is in crisis and our hearts are breaking, we need to bathe our minds in truth and grace. My book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, will walk with you through this lonely time to give you honest encouragement

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Delays and Waiting

clock ticking away while waitingIT’S AMAZING TO ME how often God uses delays and waiting to bring blessing to those He loves in the stories of the Bible. But I’m struck by the fact that God also often uses these delays to test the hearts of those in waiting to see if they are worthy of the blessing he is about to bestow.

Although God promised Abraham to make him the father of nations, God waited to fulfill that promise until Abraham was very old, and during these years of waiting, God tested His faith before blessing him with a son.

Sarah, his wife, also received this promise. Although she believed God in theory, she doubted His ability to fulfill it for her personally because she was past the age of bearing children. She decided to “help” God by coming up with an alternative solution. But by taking things in her own hands, she caused huge complications not only in her own family, but in the family of nations to this very day.

Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, and her husband Zechariah, were righteous in God’s sight, and yet God did not bless them with a child until they were well along in years. But because of their faith, the child they bore in their old age was especially chosen by God to point people to Jesus, and today they continue to be some of the heroes of our faith.

Hannah was denied a child while the rival wife of her husband, who had children, lorded it over her. Year after year Hannah suffered the indignity of infertility, but when she wept before God in the temple and sought His blessings, God heard her prayer. After many years of barrenness, she gave birth to the prophet Samuel, whom she dedicated to the Lord with a humble and thankful heart. Then God blessed her with three more sons and two daughters, and when Samuel grew up, he provided godly guidance to Israel for many years.

After Saul became king, God had Samuel test Saul’s obedience and faith by asking Saul to wait for Samuel to come to sacrifice to the Lord before he went out to battle. But Saul didn’t wait. He took matters into his own hands, and because of his refusal to wait for God’s timing, he lost what would have been for him a kingdom for all time, and a nation was plunged into many years of turmoil.

God made David wait also. Even though God anointed him and promised him the kingship. David spent many years running for his life as enemies pursued him with the intent to kill. Hear David’s agony as he cries out in Psalms 22:1-2, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer.” It took many years before David was crowned king, but in the waiting David became strong. His heart grew more closely knit to the Lord, and when he took the throne as king, he was a man after God’s own heart.

Often we must wait as well.

When things seem to be going downhill, when our nation seems to be falling apart, perhaps we are simply in a period of waiting. God may be testing our hearts to see if his people will humbly follow him or if we will rise up in arrogance to do things our own way.

2 Chronicles 7:14 says, “If my people, which are called my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”

When the problems in our country and our world begin to weigh us down, perhaps it is time to examine our own hearts as well as our personal lives. Are we waiting in faith for God to meet our needs? Or taking things into our own hands? Each of the examples above tells a story of personal anguish and longing, but the faith or lack of faith of these individuals impacted not only their own lives but the lives of generations to follow. Nations were affected.

We often see our lives and our problems in isolation. But each of us play a part in a larger story. God tells us in 2 Chronicles that He will heal our land if we humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways. He is not only speaking to us corporately, but individually as well. The way we exercise faith in our daily circumstances affects much more than we realize.

When trouble comes, do we humble ourselves and wait on God?

How would our story read in the annals of faith?

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

In my new book – a suspense thriller called Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light,- the suspense, the drama, and even the very dark pieces all come together with the light of God’s truth to create beauty. If you’re ready to take a break and enjoy a little fiction, check it out.

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Peace Like a Frog

frog - yellow

I NEVER IMAGINED using a frog as an illustration for peace . . .

. . . until one day when I was squeezing between two large plants in my backyard to pull out some potato vines and spied a small frog clinging to one of the elephant ears I had just brushed past. Although, I towered above this little 2-inch critter and made quite a commotion with all my activity, he didn’t budge. He showed no fear. He was the picture of peace.

For the next hour, I continued pushing past him, pulling on vines, dragging them back through the bushes to deposit them in the trash can, then back again through the opening to haul out more. I made quite a disturbance. But still the frog seemed unfazed. He didn’t move.

I was frankly surprised that he didn’t jump down and hop off to a calmer location where the plants were not being jostled and shaken. But in spite of any potential danger he might have perceived, he sat peaceful and seemingly unflustered on the side of the elephant ear plant.

As I wondered about why the frog showed no sign of fear, it made me start thinking about us and how we can have peace in the middle of chaos. When we are surrounded by turbulence, it’s hard not to become fearful—fearing we might get entangled in what is going on—fearing the danger it might bring into our lives.

Fear

So what do we do with fear? How can we have peace like a . . . frog?

Jesus’ disciple John says something that is quite curious about fear. He says in 1 John 4:18, “Perfect love casts out fear.” I used to wonder what this means. Certainly, he’s not talking about human love. Many of us learn the hard way that human love is not perfect, and if we depend on it too much, instead of casting out fear, it can actually cause fear.

As we look more closely, however, it becomes clear that John is talking about the “perfect” love of God. For only when we lean in on God’s “perfect love,” can we put away our fear.

So how now does this relate to the frog? Why didn’t the frog act fearful? Does a mere frog experience the love of God? In Matthew 6:26, Jesus tells us how God takes care of the birds and the flowers and the rest of his creation, imploring us to see that since we have more value than they, we should not worry or be fearful. So perhaps, through God’s provision of a suit of camouflage that allows the frog to be hidden in the undercover of his surroundings, this little creature may, in a way, experience the love of God. Maybe a built-in instinct and confidence in God’s unique provision for him “casts out his fear.” The frog is quiet and peaceful in the midst of all the mayhem going on around him for he knows that when he is still, he’s invisible to predators. He’s camouflaged. He’s hidden.

And therein is the connection. When we go to God in the midst of our fear, we also have a hiding place.

Our Hiding Place

Psalm 91:4 tells us, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.“

In Psalms 57:1, David cries out to God, “Have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.”

And in Psalm 32:7, David says, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

So, yes, we have a camouflage too. God shields us from danger “in the shelter of [his] wings.” (Psalm 61:4) He is our hiding place.

We too can have peace like a frog.

When you feel fear stalking you, when it creeps up on you and is about to pull you under or send you off in a rage of anger, remember you have a hiding place in God. God’s protective camouflage will hide you from the enemy’s snares. And under the shadow of his wings you can find protection.

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.”
Psalm 91:1-6

You are my hiding place – Listen to this song and let God fill your heart with songs of deliverance.

If fearful emotions are keeping you off balance because of a crisis in your marriage, my book, Broken Heart on Hold, is available to walk with you through the chaos. Many people have found the hope of God in its pages.

 

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Don’t Go Down to Egypt

statue of girl with water potIt was one o’clock in the morning as I tossed and turned in bed. Two huge problems loomed before me the next day, and I didn’t know how I would solve either one. Restlessly, my mind churned through a myriad of possibilities, searching for answers. Tired and longing for sleep–which refused to come, I sighed and again looked at the clock.

1:30

It was easy to see where this night was headed.

Okay, I thought, I’ve been down this road before. I’m going to lay awake all night worrying and then be so tired tomorrow I won’t be able to do what is needed to actually resolve this situation. This is so pointless. I need to go to sleep.

And then I prayed.

Earlier that morning, I had been reading in Isaiah 30 and 31 about God’s displeasure with Judah when they were besieged by the Assyrians. Instead of trusting God and looking to Him for guidance, they went down to Egypt to solicit help. Even though He, the almighty God had saved them from their enemies on so many occasions and showed them signs and wonders throughout their history, the Jewish people chose to go their own way and seek help from mere men who worshipped pagan gods rather than going to their powerful creator God.

Yet, the threat was very real. The Assyrians were a great and powerful army, and the Jewish nation in the natural had no possible way of standing against them. And even though it was thousands of years ago, it wasn’t too hard to relate to their dilemma. Earthly problems appear to need earthly solutions, don’t they? Spiritual principles don’t seem relevant when we need practical answers. God is wonderful, but what does He have to do with complicated earthly situations that plague our lives?

Well—everything.

Had Judah used their spiritual eyes, remembering the way God had rescued them in the past and trusting Him to do it again, Isaiah tells us they would have enjoyed God’s favor and been saved. Instead, they turned to worldly resources. As a result both they and the Egyptians came to ruin because the Jewish people relied on themselves instead of God.

As the memory of this scripture drifted through my thoughts, the words, “Don’t go down to Egypt” began circling through my head as well. I knew God was speaking to me.

“Don’t look to worldly solutions,” he was saying. “Don’t worry about how these things will be resolved. Trust me. I will give you peace.”

Don’t go down to Egypt.

Another story from the Bible popped into my mind too—the story of King Hezekiah. A fierce and powerful Assyrian army came against him also and demanded his surrender. But Hezekiah went to God, laid all the facts before Him, and prayed, praising God and acknowledging Him as creator and ruler of all. The next morning, thousands of Assyrian soldiers were dead before one arrow had been shot into the city. Judah was saved.

As I thought about God’s promises for those who trust in Him, I began to pray and surrendered my problems to God. Gradually, my body relaxed and before long I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to these words from Jesus Calling, a devotional book I often read to start the day.

“I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine. . . . Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me, to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation. Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention. Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life.”
( Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Don’t go down to Egypt.

God reaffirmed to me through Sarah Young that He was able to take care of my predicament. I was not to go down to Egypt. I was to lay my problems at his feet.

As a result, the troubles that had kept me awake that night gradually took a favorable turn. As God’s peace descended upon me and I continued to surrender the situation to Him in prayer, God opened a path through a seemingly complicated situation to make it not only workable, but perfect in God’s timing according to His inexplicable plan.

So remember: When problems or worries bog you down and you’re tempted to take things in your own hands. Trust God. Don’t go down to Egypt.

Are problems in your marriage keeping you from sleeping at night? If so, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, might provide some of the answers you’re looking for.

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Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well – Interview with Author, Candy Arrington

Book cover for Life on Pause-Learning to Wait WellWAITING IS NOT something most of us like to do. I usually try to get to a doctor’s appointment right on the minute rather than arriving early to cut down on the wait time. I groan when I see the light turning red right before reaching the intersection because I know it means waiting. Most of all, when my husband and I were separated, I didn’t understand why God didn’t answer my prayers immediately and bring our marriage back together sooner. Waiting is hard.  In stressful situations, it can even cause us to question God’s goodness. But author Candy Arrington sees purpose in our waiting. In her new book, Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well, she explores what it means to us when our life is “On Pause” and even shows us how waiting can be a blessing.

Linda: The books we write often emerge out of our own life experiences. What would you say was the motivation behind your writing Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well?

Candy: Several years ago, my husband lost two jobs within a year because of declining work in his field. After the first job loss, he secured employment within a few weeks. However, after the second, we encountered a life pause, a time of uncertainty and frustration. As weeks became months, we dealt with the anxiety and fear associated with waiting.

However, this was not our first experience with a season of waiting. Early in our marriage, we traveled the difficult road of infertility. Those years of surgeries, procedures, and heartache were stressful and tested our faith. Thankfully, I was eventually able to conceive and deliver two healthy children over a four-year period.

I’d like to say I handled the years of infertility well, but, in truth, I was angry with God and hurt by thoughtless and intrusive comments from those who had no right to make judgements or give unwanted advice. The infertility years taught me a lot about trusting God and tuning out Satan’s voice. Often, we believe Satan’s lies instead of focusing on promises in God’s Word.

Sometimes, when God sidelines us in a season of waiting, we fail to learn from the experience because we are so consumed with worry about what will happen next. Learning to wait well is a challenge, but if we’re willing, we can learn and grow in a time of waiting, while also strengthening our faith muscles.

Linda: Why do you think most people struggle with waiting?

Candy: We live in an impatient society. We’re trained by advertising to think we must respond immediately to offers, hurry to make purchases, or sign up for events so we don’t miss out. We chafe at delays in drive-thru lines or other waiting scenarios. By our very nature as humans, we are impatient. We want what we want without delay, regardless of consequences or who is hurt by our impulsiveness.

Waiting is counterculture, and like so much in the life of faith, requires us to take a step back from urgency, look to God for direction and discernment, and trust his timing.

Linda: That is so very true. When I tell people my husband and I were separated for three years, people are aghast that I could wait that long for God to bring healing to our marriage. Waiting is hard, but I believe God uses it for His purposes. Tell me, what do you think are the benefits of waiting? Is it ever beneficial?

Candy: We live in a world of instant everything, so waiting feels negative. God’s plans, methods, and time frame are rarely ours, and he has reasons for allowing life pauses. Here are a few I’ve discovered:

Protection – God sees the full picture of our lives while we see only snapshots. Waiting may be God’s way of protecting us from potential Headshot of author Candy Arringtonhazards of which we are unaware.

Preparation – A time of waiting prepares us for what lies ahead. Each difficult situation or period of waiting requires us to acknowledge God, trust him for resolution, and prepares us for future challenges.

Patience – Life pauses help us to cultivate patience, which is something most of us lack. Patience requires discipline, and discipline translates positively into other areas of life.

Rest – A season of waiting may be solely for the purpose of providing rest, a chance to reassess, or recover from trauma, stress, or grief.

Reflection – Most of us move through life at such a rapid pace we rarely take time to process emotions, spend more than brief moments in Bible study and prayer, and reflect on what God is doing in our lives. Seasons of waiting slow us and help us gain new perspective on what is truly important.

Renewal – Life is hard, and obedience to God’s directive to pause allows time for recharging physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Linda: All of those are great points. In light of what we’ve all been going through over the last two years, do you feel the timing of the publication of Life on Pause is significant?

Candy: Yes, when I presented this book idea to a publisher at a conference in 2019, it was not the book I had planned to pitch. But while I was waiting for my appointment, God reminded me of an article I wrote several years before for CBN.com titled “6 Simple Truths for Seasons of Waiting.” I was resistant to moving in a different direction because I had no proposal for a book on waiting, but I pulled up the article on my phone and used it as my outline. Six months later, when I signed a contract for the book, I had no idea our country, and our world, were about to enter a time of waiting related to the pandemic.

Looking back, I can see how God orchestrated the timing of the writing of my book and the publication, and, in fact, the idea for the book in the first place. I was much more in tune with the emotions and uncertainty of waiting as I wrote, and had greater insight, because I was living it!

That is how it is when our lives take an unexpected detour. Often, we can’t see God’s hand in our circumstances until after we wade through deep waters and reach the shore on the other side. Then, we can see he guided us, removed obstacles, and held us up when turbulent trials threaten to pull us under.

Linda: Are there any features in your book, Life on Pause that seem to have ministered most to readers?

Candy: I believe some of the most powerful parts of the book are the eight personal stories of waiting. So many people have said they identify with one or more of the stories because of the honesty and transparency of those who were willing to share.

Often, privacy or embarrassment prevents us from talking about hard life experiences, but when we share our difficulties, and how God taught us in those circumstances, others receive encouragement for what they are facing.

Linda: What do you most want readers to take away from this book?

Candy: In reading Life on Pause, I want readers to learn to see positives when sidelined in a time of waiting, or really in any situation they encounter that causes them to feel out of control or doesn’t make sense to them. I hope readers will realize how crucial it is to trust God’s timing rather than rushing ahead. I want them to cultivate listening ears that are open to God’s direction. When viewed from God’s perspective, waiting is a gift. Embrace waiting. Learn from it. Utilize it. And as you wait, draw closer to God.

Linda: Where can people purchase Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well as well as find out more about your ministry and your other books, such as When Your Aging Parent Needs Care and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide

Candy:  My books can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other online booksellers and local stores as well. You can see more about my other books and ministry at  CandyArrington.com

 

 

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Being a Diana in Someone’s Life

A woman giving encouragement to another woman

Photo by Mimi Thian

THE HUSBAND OF one of my friends has been in the hospital with Covid for over a month. Thankfully, they are now seeing improvement, but the battle has been ongoing and extremely rough.

One week as I listened to my friend’s video on Facebook where she was giving updates on the struggles her husband was experiencing, I was touched by her description about the encouragement she was receiving from her faithful friend Diana who had been a rock for her over the past week. Diana prayed with her for one to two hours at a time, played praise music for her, listened to her, and was available continually. I could tell her encouragement that week was holding my friend together.

I was struck by the selflessness of her friend Diana and the unwavering support she offered as our mutual friend suffered through the discouragement of a negative prognosis from the doctors and little signs of improvement in her husband. Through it all, Diana did not get discouraged. She persevered in lifting up my friend and giving her hope. She reminded her of the faithfulness of Jesus as well as sending her scriptures, declaring “by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

Hearing her talk about Diana made me think about how we all need a Diana in our lives when we are going through difficult times. And how sometimes we can BE that Diana for others in their times of need.

God is with us. He is our strength and our salvation. He is our rock.  And although we know this and believe, our faith can sometimes waver and grow weak when faced with problems that appear impossible to overcome.

That is when we need someone to lean on. Someone whose faith can undergird our own and remind us there is indeed hope when we cry out to the Father who will never leave us, and whose love will always sustain us. In hard times we need someone with flesh on to give us support and remind us of that.

When I went through three years of separation from my husband, a couple of women came along side me to lean on when I grew weary.

And in the story of Moses, I think about Moses standing on top of a hill, holding up the staff in his hands to encourage the Israelite army below as they fought the Amalekites. The encouragement of his raised staff gave strength to the armies in the battle. But when Moses’ arms grew tired and he could no longer keep them lifted up, Aaron and Hur came to hold up his arms so he could continue to offer encouragement. As a result they won the battle, and those who offered encouragement made the difference (Exodus 17: 10-13).

God asks us to encourage each other. To love each other. To stand beside each other in difficult times so we have the strength to win our battles. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

My friend’s husband is now improving, and even the doctors are calling it a miracle. God is faithful in our times of need, but sometimes we need a friend to remind us of that so we have the strength to hold on to our loving Father whose strength and might can overcome the odds that seem so insurmountable in the natural world.

Do you need a Diana to stand by you now to offer encouragement?

And is there someone in distress you can be a Diana to right at this moment in time?

Ask God to show you the role He wants you to play in someone else’s life to offer encouragement

 

If you need a Diana in your life to walk with you through a time of marital brokenness or separation, let my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, be a friend to you in this time of need.

 

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A Heart of Expectation

Hands lifted up

Photo by PH Diego

LAST WEEK WE TALKED ABOUT what hope looks like and how, even in the midst of troubled times when a happy ending seems unlikely, a heart of expectation can help us look beyond the temporal circumstances of here and now and capture a vision for the future.

But how do we do that? When things look hopeless and we see no happy ending for ourselves, how do we simply ignore the pain of the present to embrace the hope of the future?

How can we look into the face of adversity and have a heart of expectation?

A heart of expectation is birthed by immersing ourselves in the heart of God so our desires are transformed from temporary to eternal, to love what He loves, to cherish what He cherishes. God loves us and wants the best for us, but what we interpret to be the best may only be second best or third best . . . or not best at all. While we focus on what we think will make us “happy,” God may be focusing on what will bring us a lasting joy and fulfillment for all eternity. While we’re reaching out for one small peek through the bakery window, He may want to reward us with a trip inside to enjoy all the goodies we want for a lifetime.

Do we believe this? Do we believe that what God wants for us is truly better than what we want for us. Scripture tells us this is true. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” (NLT) But do we believe this?

The apostle Paul’s heart desire was to preach the gospel throughout the known world, but his hope was cut short when he was imprisoned in Rome and could only communicate with the churches through his letters. Did he have any idea his letters would ultimately be translated into every known language and become basic reading for centuries of believers?

What Paul did know is that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Paul was able to lay his circumstances at the feet of His Lord, do what He could by writing letters, and let God work out all the details. He had no idea what lay ahead in future generations. What seemed limited in scope at the time—a few letters written to encourage the churches—flourished into a foundational part of the New Testament—something beyond his wildest comprehension and imagination.

We too have treasures in store for us waiting to be revealed at a later time when we give our situations to God as an offering of love and faith. If we can lift our eyes above our circumstances and seek the Lord, He can give us a heart of expectation. We don’t know what will happen in the future—not just tomorrow, not just next year or ten years from now. But if we lay everything at His feet, He can do incredible things with what we give Him.

We may not ever see it in this life—like the heroes of faith in Chapter 11 of Hebrews, people of faith who never saw revealed what they hoped for, but people who will live forever as heroic figures in God’s heavenly realms.  We don’t know how the small seeds we plant by surrendering our situation to God might sprout into something that continues to multiply—even over centuries—to become part of God’s eternal plan in the lives of others. But with a heart of expectation, we will one day see all that he has purposed for us.

Lift your worries up to God and watch them diffuse in the light of His glory as He rains down on you visions of His eternal purposes. With a heart of expectation, your hope can translate into faith that God has a purpose for your pain to use for His glory in some incredible way that not only makes the pain worthwhile, but becomes something to celebrate in its contribution to the unfolding of God’s eternal plan.

Heaven’s angels may sing Hallelujah as they watch you surrender your pain, knowing God has a beautiful plan you can’t even imagine or comprehend.

And maybe that’s true hope, the kind of hope that not only melts away all fear, but will put joy in our hearts and a song on our lips each day of our lives throughout eternity.

If you’re going through serious marital struggles and need encouragement to find hope, let me walk beside you through the pages of my book, Broken Heart on Hold. Together we will seek the Light and find strength for the journey.

 

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When Your Mind is Muddled

woman working in the garden“HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).

A few days ago, my day seemed to hit one crash after another. First, I received a rejection from an editor I had really wanted to work with. Next, I found a minor medical problem wasn’t so minor after all and needed serious attention. Thirdly, I received a discouraging report about another problem that was escalating.

Why does bad news always seem to come in threes?

I felt muddled and scrambled in my mind. Disappointment mixed with questions and genuine concern thrashed around in my head. My emotions felt unsteady and troubled. Even my prayers felt shallow and inconsequential. “Where are you, God?”

Standing at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and felt drawn to the peace and quiet of my backyard where fern fluttered in the breeze and the greens of grass and other nearby plants beckoned.

Instinctively, the uneasiness within me led me to my gardening tools, where I picked up a shovel, donned my garden gloves and headed outdoors to work in the yard where I can always count on feeling God’s presence surrounding me in His creation.

The next day, although calmer, intermittent traces of anxiety continued to spike through my emotions.

So I sat at my computer and spent the day writing—an endeavor I love that takes my mind to new levels of God’s grace. By the end of the day I felt better, and thanked God for His continued presence, knowing that through all circumstances, “He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Through my yard work and my writing, I’d found two of the paths God had provided for me to find His peace.

How and why did this help?

When our minds are muddled and emotions unsettled, where do we go for peace? Ideally, going straight to the Bible and spending time in prayer steadies our hearts and minds and gives us perspective. That’s the best answer. But sometimes we first need to transition into a place of restoration where our hearts are more open to hear God’s voice.

Identifying calming influences in our lives that help us pull together our muddled emotions and become centered again is important for each of us. If we allow our emotions and agitated thoughts to have free reign, they can lead us away from God and into places we don’t want to go. But if we channel them into nurturing avenues God has wired into our DNA, we can enter into a more peaceful place.

Each of us is different. While for me, writing and working in the yard comforts my spirit, for you it might be an artistic endeavor like playing the piano, painting, or sculpting. Or perhaps working with your hands on a project in your workshop or car helps unravel the stress that holds your mind and spirit captive.  Maybe you have an athletic bent so that riding a bike, throwing a few hoops of basketball, or working out in the gym calms you.

One of the ways God gives us peace is through the gifts He gives us in our own DNA – gifts that mobilize us and inspire us to action. When we recognize positive activities that nurture our spirits and bring us peace, God can draw us to a place of rest where we are better able to hear His voice.

What is it for you that calms your spirit? What do you feel drawn to when your mind is muddled that lies within God’s boundaries of morality and goodness? What activities help you expel the tension that binds up your joy? If you don’t know, start by taking a walk in a park or an area rich with natural beauty. While we have diverse interests that calm us, God’s creation is a universal conduit He uses to bring healing to our spirits. So if we’re unsure of the gifts God has given us to bring peace, we can always start with nature.

God has created each of us to have diverse interests and talents. Discovering what they are can serve us well as we navigate a troubled world and the unpredictable ups and downs of life. As you submit to God’s nurturing hand in these activities, let them lead you back to Him. For it is in Him you’ll find the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7). And it is through Him that “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life (Psalm 23: 6).

What is your happy place?

What is an activity that calms you when your mind feels muddled?

If you need to find peace in the middle of a troubled marriage, I invite you to let me walk beside you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. It can be an encouraging friend to you as you walk this lonely journey.

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Shining Like Silver and Gold

Inspiring Others in The Midst of Covid

The pressure of crisis –whatever the cause—can be overwhelming. Whether it’s from Covid, a marriage crisis, or the devastation of our finances, crisis can push us beyond the limits of our understanding until we have nothing else within us to keep on going.

At this point, when we are devoid of strength in ourselves, instead of sinking lower and lower into hopelessness, depression, or substance abuse, God calls us to look up and sink into the arms of Jesus.

In the arms of Jesus, not only does He comfort us with his peace, but He gathers together the substance of our life and molds it into something new and beautiful. The pressure of crisis, when God becomes our refuge and we allow Him to show us the way, refines us into silver and gold so we can shine for His glory. We become the beautiful instruments of His grace, mercy, and love to those around us.

1 Peter 1:6b -7 reminds us of this. “Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (1 Peter 1:7 NIV).

An Inspiring Story from the Covid Ward

Recently, I’ve witnessed a person who is shining like gold as she looks past the crisis enveloping her life and fixes her eyes on Jesus, not just to save herself, not just to find peace and comfort, but to use the circumstances of her crisis to shine like gold.

I’m talking about my friend and author, Elaine W. Miller, who right now lies in a Covid ward in the hospital, fighting to breathe. She is fighting for her life, but also blessing everyone who comes in contact with her words.

Her own words on Facebook tell the story.

“Covid pneumonia,” She said in her first post. “We’re off on another adventure. Me and Jesus! He holds me tight and won’t let go.”

A couple of days later:

“Nurse took the stethoscope and said, “Let’s hear what’s happening in your heart.” I said, “Jesus is happening in my heart! Hallelujah!” Started Remdesivir today! Yay! Happy Sunday!”

A message to her praying Facebook friends:

“Blessed in isolation. I can sing out and cry out to God late at night and not disturb anyone. I think of Jesus at Gethsemane crying out, Why have you forsaken me God? I feel loved by God, not forsaken. Jesus was sad that his best friends were asleep and not praying. I don’t feel like Jesus. You have covered me with a mighty army of prayers by day and by night. I am so thankful for you. I am having good sleep, good time with God, and I have no pain. #Thankfulforyou #CovidBootcamp Dr. is optimistic that I will survive this.”

A nurse’s perspective as Elaine began to get her breath:

“’When you came to ICU you couldn’t say 2 words without losing your breath. Today I walk in your room and you are singing!’ – my nurse.”

The beauty of gold:

“Covid has restored my hope in America. My doctors are putting out the big guns. I am on an infusion marathon to fight Covid. Last night that bag and more dripped into my veins. I stared at it all night and couldn’t stop crying. You see that bag is some amazing person’s convalescent plasma. They survived Covid and gave their plasma, time, money, love so some old woman they don’t even know could have a few more years to live. That’s my America! Where people die to their selfishness so others can live. Where people think of others more than they think of themselves. That’s my America! I am so sick of the protests, looting, destroying, anger, hate, selfishness, lies. Someone gave their blood so I might have a chance to live. Just like Jesus. I am so grateful for these dear health workers here who risk their lives so people can live. I am blessed and glad God gave me hope for America in a Covid hospital.”

Finally, in the midst of her crisis with Covid, my friend Elaine looks beyond her circumstances to focus on others:

“Day 17 isolation. Why am I here? Ha! For the same reason you are there. To glorify God. To bring light and hope to a dark and hopeless world. When cancer came to me five years ago, I determined to see my cancer as an opportunity to bless people and not as an obstacle or reason for complaint. So, as I rest on my Covid bed, I am overwhelmed with love and prayers and compassion for Caregivers. My eyes are opened to their true suffering. Folks, you have no idea the exhaustion, the tears, the sacrifice, the dance with death they do daily. They risk their lives so I can live. So, when some call Covid a hoax or complain about wearing a face mask, I know a lot of people who are crushed by your words. But they plow on. Keep quiet. Serve. I determined to pray a blessing on every person who enters my Covid room. What a blessing to me. Not one person has stopped me. I pray as some leave. Everyone has stopped to hear my prayers. They all say thank you. Many in tears. Some come back to me, hold me, touch me (not recommended in Covidland) and pray with me. We cry and we trust Jesus. “But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you My power and that My Name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Exodus 9:16.”

An Inspiration for You and Me

So, yes, when the pressure of crisis threatens to pull us down, we can choose the abundant life Jesus wants to give us or the barren wasteland without Him. When we submit ourselves to Jesus, He can use us to shine forth like the preciousness of silver and gold.

Please join me in praying for Elaine’s healing and for all of us to be able to shine for Jesus.

Check out Elaine’s books on Amazon. Elaine W. Miller is the author of three books:

We All Married Idiots: Three things You Will Never Change about Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can,  

Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo: A Hopeful Response to a Hard Reality, and

Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms

 

Elaine and me at a writer’s conference

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