Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose – Interview with Author & Mental Health Counselor, Tina Yeager

March 14, 2023 by Leave a Comment

A bouquet of roses with a tag that says, "Upcycled"WHEN WE FEEL lonely and disconnected, it can be hard to find connection again. Author and mental health counselor, Tina Yeager offers us a creative answer to find our way back into community. In her new book, Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose, Tina urges readers to revaluate their imperfections as opportunities for God’s upcycling artwork.

Linda: What inspired you to write Upcycled?

Tina: On a prayerful walk through a park with the Lord, I felt concerned about the way so many of us have grown disconnected from one another. I asked God what might draw us back into relationships and experience healing together. Images of upcycled crafts came to mind as ways to tangibly work through restoration while gathering together around a shared project.

Linda: I sense an analogy here. How would you define the word Upcycled? And how does that relate to relationships and people?

Tina: Webster’s definition of upcycle is “to recycle (something) in such a way that the resulting product is of a higher value than the original item : to create an object of greater value from (a discarded object of lesser value).” Our Creator, the Ultimate Upcycler, redeems us from our brokenness and frailty and makes us better than new. As new creations in Christ, we have the fresh purpose of living out his will empowered by the character and gifts of the Holy Spirit. If we choose to submit ourselves to living in alignment with this renewed identity, we can love others with divine grace and purity. Guardedness no longer impedes our intimacy. Self-interest no longer blinds us from seeing others’ needs and ministering to them.

Linda: What is your book, Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose, about? 

Tina:  Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose takes readers on an interactive journey to discover how God reinvents rusty and flawed folks like us into cherished masterpieces who glorify him daily. Each chapter includes a gift or décor project which illustrates one of the ways the Great Artist remakes us to serve a beautiful purpose. Readers will encounter the loving craftsmanship of a Savior who makes all things new. The projects will serve as tangible reminders and opportunities to share hope of renewal with the world.

Linda: You talk about loneliness and people being disconnected.  How would you describe the issues of loneliness in today’s culture?

Tina: Online work and social connections have replaced in-person fellowship as the new normal. It takes less time to respond to a post or text message than to have a conversation. Families even text one another when at home together. People who do share a table for a meal spend more time scrolling on their devices than conversing with those seated around them. Instead of increasing our spare time, the urgency of online connection demands more of our attention. We’ve grown so comfortable living through our virtual avatars, we now find it challenging to engage in authentic, personal communication.

Linda: Why is this, Tina? Since you’re a mental health counselor, why do you think our reliance on technology has hurt our personal communication and perhaps even our emotional health)?

Tina: Face-to-face conversations can prove risky. Messy. Awkward.

Yet well-being depends upon human contact, not just digital communication. The Creator declared as good all the things he made, but cited one critical exception. “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18, NIV). Elohim, a relational and triune God, created us for relationship. He did not design us to exist in emotional, spiritual, or physical isolation.

Science supports this ancient scriptural truth. The National Institute of Health “has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks for a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease, and even death.”

Our physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness require us to connect and engage in person. We need to upcycle our broken fellowship practices.

Linda: Has isolation affected marriage relationships?

Tina; The practice of disengaging socially seeped into our most intimate relationships. Couples busy themselves with projects to consume the time which might have required them to face hard conversations or express painful emotions. Spouses gaze at screens during meals instead of making eye contact. They focus on digital content during shared travel rides instead of engaging with one another’s hearts. When bored or stressed, our first remedy is to find a game or other escape online.

But these solutions cause more neurological harm than benefit. The dopamine response to digital activity operates in a similar way to chemical addictions and ensuing compulsions as well as dopamine crashes and increased anxiety can result from dependence upon online engagement.

God offers us the gift of human relationship as a superior remedy to our stress and need for engagement. When centered in faith, our marriages can serve as ways to relieve anxiety and stress without the side effects caused by digital overexposure. We can renew together those places in our hearts that decay when neglected.

Linda: How can craft projects help us heal and grow?

Tina: To begin with, human beings learn best by doing. Experiences move learning across that immense space from mind to heart. Tangible projects root our growth into our hearts at a deeper level.

Also, we heal by connecting with the Spirit wrapped in the skin of our believer-friends. Renewal and growth occur in community. And relationships are based upon play. As we laugh and play together in art projects, our hearts draw closer to one another.

Linda: How does your book, Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose, help draw people into relationship?

Tina: The crafts included in each chapter can gather people into fellowship circles. Even those reluctant to join discussion groups might feel more comfortable connecting with others for a project-centered meeting. The message of inner renewal transforms readers into vessels of loving grace. The book also provides lists of mission opportunities, through which families or groups can share the message by donating the projects. Ministering to others bonds those working together. We also experience heightened growth through the messages we’ve learned and shared. This Christ-designed discipleship model also strengthens our connections with those who share our faith journey.

Linda:  How might couples, families, or groups increase the growth and blessings they experience together?

Tina: We fulfill our spiritual growth by sharing the blessings we received with others who need hope.

Paul describes those to whom he writes his messages as “my joy and crown” (Philippians 4:1, NIV). Paul encountered Christ in a tremendous upcycling moment on the road to Damascus. While still bearing his original name, Saul of Tarsus, he persecuted followers of Jesus. The Lord whitewashed his eyes with blindness and its cure, then proceeded to reinvent him as Paul, an evangelist of redemption. As profound as the physical and spiritual renovation, fulfillment of his purpose was completed as he conveyed his blessings to others.

When we pour out the renewing truth God shares with us, our inflow of joy increases. With each craft, I suggest mission opportunities through which participants can donate the projects to hurting souls. Examples include domestic violence shelters, veteran organizations, or homeless ministries. Sharing the evidence of grace completes our renewal.

Linda: Does our brokenness prevent us from fulfilling our purpose?

Tina: In scripture and today, God chooses flawed individuals to join him in the work of renovating the world. Jesus Christ was the only perfect individual to walk the earth, so everyone else would be eliminated if God only chose the immaculate to serve. The Lord recognizes our marred past and splintered present when he calls us. As the Ultimate Salvager, he sees beyond our battered state and envisions our potential after the redesigning power of the Spirit transforms us. He makes all things better than new. Even worn and chippy folks like us.

Linda: I understand you have a gift for readers. Can you tell us about it?

Tina: Readers can download a free Upcycled inspirational flip book template at upcycledbook.com. You’ll get step-by-step instructions to make a giftable, weekly inspirational flip book from old greeting cards. The pages are downloadable and printable.

Linda: Where can people connect with you and get a copy of Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose?

Tina: Visit my website, https://tinayeager.com to access craft videos and Flourish-Meant podcast episodes. You can also book life-coaching sessions or hire me as a speaker for your next event. Check out my YouTube channel for additional videos and content at https://www.youtube.com/c/TinaYeager. Feel free to follow me on Instagram or Facebook.  Upcycled: Crafted for a Purpose is available on Amazon and at Bold Vision Books.

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, Feeling unworthy, friendship, health issues, Interviews, Lonliness, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Can You See Me Now? Interview with Author Cheri Strange

October 12, 2022 by Leave a Comment

Shadowy figure in the background and the words, "Can You See Me Now?"IF YOU EVER feel invisible, ignored, and overlooked as though you blend in with the wallpaper when you’re with a group of people, the loneliness you feel can be overwhelming. Author Cheri Strange knows this feeling herself and wants to help you rediscover your true value. Her new book, Can You See Me, Now? Good news for the lonely, left out, and less than may provide a path to new hope and renewal for anyone in this situation. As a national speaker and visionary of She Yearns Ministries and her popular YouVersion Bible reading plans, Cheri has already successfully helped many women redefine their worth.

Linda: Why did you write this book?

Cheri: The initial reason for writing this book lies with my own history. This is my story: a place of pain and how God delivered me through it while my circumstances did not change. It wasn’t long before I noticed the same familiar pain points showing up in the lives of my daughters. I have six daughters originating from three different continents and cultures. My thought was to privately offer them encouragement and biblical guidance when facing these issues.

It wasn’t long before I recognized the issues were more widespread. No longer was it just me, and my daughters, but half the population. Experts estimate we are the loneliest society on record in the last fifty years. A large majority have felt left out or always feel that way. What these realities illuminate is that most women have come to know the sting of not being missed and would like it to be different. This 75-day journey equips a woman familiar with loneliness and being passed over to understand her value and enables her to experience the personal change necessary for becoming seen even if or when her circumstances remain the same. 

Linda: Who is your book written for?

Cheri: Can You See Me, Now? is for any woman who has ever been left out of the group, felt alone, or insignificant, and it offers a biblical path forward. It’s a 75-day journey toward genuine transformation with a guide and a personal plan to help you experience it.

Linda: Since this subject is so personal, I imagine it required a certain amount of vulnerability. What was the most difficult part of writing Can You See Me Now?

Cheri: The greatest challenge I faced in crafting Can You See Me, Now? was writing the beginning. It comes from such a private place of pain, getting it out in words ushered in all sorts of emotions, but this personal element wasn’t always there. In fact, the first time I submitted the manuscript, I did not utilize my own experiences. The criticism I received was the absence of a personal touch, or soul, which was intentional. Who wants to tell their inner struggles to strangers? Not me.

Rather than write the revealing, I filed it in a drawer. But when the world shut down in 2020, I had time to reconsider and pray. Yes. The message was incomplete without my journey infused. Oh, it’s not what we would consider traumatic. It’s just my ordinary experiences. And that, I realized, was the missing centerpiece. As I wrote, the emotions turned from regurgitating the pain, the failures, and the missteps to thanksgiving for the transformation in my own life that can be the reader’s as well. The path toward becoming seen is not limited to where we originate or even where we are today, but is cultivated through the Word of God, one day at a time.

Linda: I know that must be a blessing to your readers. Why did you choose to format Can You See Me Now into daily readings?

Cheri: Can You See Me, Now? leans toward being more devotional in style and pacing, divided into 75-daily readings that should take only a few minutes to read. That structure and design is on purpose. I have been writing for YouVersion, the Bible app, for several years. My readership largely develops from what is available on the app, and I have found this style and genre to be my sweet spot. I enjoy providing thematic Bible reading plans, utilizing Scripture to investigate a common theme. These are written in doable chunks for busy women with an invitation to make it personal, each day. This style of writing allows me to help make the teachings of the Bible and the whole of Christianity accessible to this generation. For me, there is no higher calling.

Linda: What would you say to the woman who is experiencing the life you describe to encourage her when she feels unseen and Picture of author Cheri Strangealone?

Cheri: This book is my best effort to answer this question without all the mistakes and missteps I took across so many years. The one thing I did right was call out to the God I wasn’t even sure loved me as an individual. I would suggest that God’s desire for your life is not to blend into the wallpaper or feel worthless. Start learning how God sees you and what He desires for your life. Let Him transform you one day at a time and even if your circumstances do not change, you can. And that makes all the difference.

Linda: What do you hope the reader will take away from your book, Can You See Me Now?

Cheri: It is my hope that the reader gets the sense that she is not alone in her loneliness. But comradery in our places of pain is not enough to draw us out of it or make us different. This journey means to illuminate how God sees her, how He can heal her, re-calibrate her, if needed, and draw her toward becoming who He created her to be. My desire is that she learns not to stop seeking, to ask God to fill her emptiness, to be willing to fail forward, and to make room in her life for becoming visible. If she internalizes these gleanings, she can work her plan for leaving the shadows and the lingering loneliness to become seen for all the right reasons in all the right ways.

Linda: What a hopeful message. But, Cheri, you haven’t always been a writer. What motivated you to do what you are doing? 

Cheri: If my life were left up to me and my desires, I would be somewhere on a back row content in obscurity, teaching history at high school. But that was not God’s plan. I feel like the prophet Amos who, when questioned about why he was doing what he was doing said, “I was neither a prophet nor a prophet’s son, but I was a shepherd, and I also took care of sycamore fig trees. But the LORD took me from tending the flock and said to me, ‘Go…’” (Amos 7:14-15) More than anything, my motivation for speaking, teaching, and writing is derived from the path marked out for me by the Lord. I did not choose it, nor did I desire it. I had another career, altogether. But this responsibility is obedience for me.

Linda: I assume that as a wife of thirty years you’ve had your challenges. What have you learned that you would want to share with a newly married couple?

Cheri: Chad and I entered marriage knowing full well it could end badly if we did not work on it. And the statistics are worse for those pursuing graduate school, which both of us completed. We intentionally set up safeguards, like restricting contact with old flames no matter how small the flicker had been. There would be no lunches or dinners with the opposite sex who is not family, and no going to bed without working out the problem or difficulty between us. We also sought out advice for finances and parenting. Still, the best thing we did for our marriage was establish our own daily walking with the Lord. Although we have hurt each other deeply, not behaving the way we should, this practice, alone, has allowed us to find common ground when our opinions differed, to seek forgiveness when we hurt the other, and love with the other in mind.

Linda: You’ve had some unique challenges as well. Please tell us some of the challenges you’ve experienced by adopting internationally three times?

Cheri: Nothing prepared us for the years spent building our family through international adoption, or beyond. In six years, we added six children. Five did not speak English, and one is special needs. All experienced trauma early in life with the scars to prove it. It’s not for the faint of heart or the bleeding heart who wants to save the world. It’s kingdom work, against heavenly forces and cannot be overcome short of long stents on your knees. What has enabled our family to grow together rather than become fractured is not our brilliant parenting or that we somehow lucked out with an awesome set of kids. We are a collection of sinners, just like any other family. God alone knows how to love those entrusted to us, and it has been our priority to learn from Him how and what to do, to seek counsel as needed, and to leave our egos at the proverbial curb.

Linda: What project are you looking forward to in the future?

Cheri: I am working on another non-fiction piece that offers a message of hope for the woman who is drinking from a spiritual well, yet remains thirsty for more—of what, she doesn’t know. It answers the question, what if all these needs, these desires, and the debilitating deficits were God-given so that we might find our satisfaction, and fulfillment in Him? Filled with captivating stories, biblical insights, thirst-quenching recipes and other practical resources, the reader will discover how her deepest needs can be fulfilled in Christ.

Linda: Where can people find out more about your book, Can You See Me Now as well as your ministry?

Cheri: You can find my book  Can You See Me, Now? from Bold Vision Books on Amazon, as well as my Bible study, Life Principles for Living Out the Greatest Commandment, from AMG. You can find more about me and my ministry on my website www.sheyearns.com, on the YouVersion app, or Instagram.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, Feeling unworthy, How to win, Interviews, Lonliness, Searching for purpose, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Wrestling – When Problems Seem Overwhelming

August 24, 2022 by Leave a Comment

woman sitting on beach with head in hands, grieving and wrestling with problemsPROBLEMS HAPPEN. Often. Sometimes they seem overwhelming. We wake in the night and find ourselves wrestling with nightmarish situations that we just can’t get control over.

How do we cope with these situations that seem to have no good answer? How do we win?

I have found the path to winning is often far different from the one we initially choose to take.

And it starts by first going to scripture. Ephesians 6:12 says, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

What Is Our Focus?

Too often, when we are wrestling with a difficult problem, our focus remains riveted to “the problem,” on our circumstances, on the people who seem to be causing it. We become so entrenched in thinking about our circumstances we can’t focus anywhere else. And by limiting our thinking. we fail to recognize who the real enemy is. It’s like we are keeping our nose to the ground, trying to catch a lizard when there is an alligator bearing down on us from behind.

During my husband’s and my three year separation, I taped a scripture to the wall, which I saw whenever I walked around the house.

“The mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6 NASB)

The scripture reminded me where I needed to focus my thoughts, and by focusing on the spirit instead of my fleshly problems, it often helped me escape the depression that frequently pulled me under.

Once we recognize our need to focus on God instead of on earthly things, we are on the right path.

Are We Wrestling WITH The Enemy? Or AGAINST The Enemy?

Secondly, we don’t recognize, that as children of God who have accepted Jesus as our Savior, we have a power that we too often fail to use – the power of Jesus’ name and the power of His Word.

And thirdly, because of our limited understanding, we find ourselves wrestling WITH the enemy when we should be wrestling AGAINST the enemy.  That subtle distinction in Ephesians 6:12 can make a huge difference in the way we tackle problems that confront us. For if we wrestle WITH the enemy, we are giving the enemy equal footing; we are failing to acknowledge the power God has given us as His sons and daughters. We are flailing in helplessness as negative situations overwhelm and try to defeat us.

So in Ephesians 6:12 (above) when Paul uses the word “against” three times, he is telling us to use the weapons God has given us to take authority OVER the enemy and DEFEAT HIM. The enemy is NOT on equal footing with us. “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (I John 4:4)

When we finally do come to this understanding, then we need to take advantage of the wealth of God’s armory – the weapons He has given us to fight AGAINST the enemy and win the battle.

What Are These Weapons?

Ephesians 6:10-20 tells us how to put on the armor of God, and that is basic in the battle so we know how to protect ourselves as we face the enemy.

But the weapon we use to fight AGAINST the enemy is described in Ephesians 6:17: “The sword of the spirit which is the word of God.” In other words, we fight with the word of God—scripture. The more we immerse ourselves in the Bible and know what God has said to us, the better able we are to use His words to fight AGAINST the enemy.

Using words of scripture that are appropriate to our situation become powerful weapons in our arsenal and in our prayers.

A few of my favorites are:

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (NIV)

1 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit of God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” (NKJV)

Exodus 14:14 “the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still,” (NIV)

Deut. 20:4 “For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (NIV)

Psalms 91:9-11 “If you say, The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent  for he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”

And there are so many more. Search the scriptures. Spend time with God. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Don’t let the enemy pull you under. If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, you are a child of God. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” (2 Cor. 10:4)

If you would like to read more on this subject, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated goes into this subject more thoroughly in two different chapters about entering the prayer closet and turning the prayer closet into the war room.

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Filed Under: Battles, Depression, Fear, God's Word, How to win, Prayer, Problems, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

The Problem with Unforgiveness

June 29, 2022 by Leave a Comment
woman full of unforgiveness, looking out wndow

Photo by Anthony Tran

“AND FORGIVE US our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us . . .”

These are familiar words I’ve repeated over and over again every time I say the Lord’s Prayer.  I understand what I’m saying. I’m asking God to forgive me in the same proportion as I forgive others. And I think I am pretty forgiving of others. And yet, every now and then when certain names are occasionally mentioned, bad feelings rise within me. Is that unforgiveness?

If so, what is the problem with unforgiveness?

Recently, a friend told me that at one time in her life she’d been so bound up with unforgiveness that it actually caused her to become mentally ill for a while. She was even temporarily institutionalized.

It was a shocking revelation that jolted me into thinking more about the subject of unforgiveness.

What is Unforgiveness?

What is unforgiveness? Why do we carry it around? How can it have such negative effects on us? And where does it begin?

I found part of the answer in Ephesians 4:26-27. “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Unforgiveness begins as a simmering anger that grows and grows, an anger we nurture in our hearts and minds. But Paul’s warning above is that by allowing it to fester within us, we are “giving the devil a foothold.” We are opening ourselves up to the devil’s schemes to “kill, steal, and destroy”  (John 10:10). And one way he tries to destroy us is by planting seeds of bitterness within us because he knows the damage bitterness can do to our souls. And that bitterness often evolves from unforgiveness.

But unforgiveness doesn’t just happen out of thin air. We have reasons for not being able to forgive. We’ve been hurt. Maybe deeply hurt. And wronged. Unforgiveness seems like a way of protecting ourselves from more hurt and a way to inflict justice on the one who hurt us. Our pain blinds us from the deeper truth that the bitter root of unforgiveness spreading through our minds and hearts gives a foothold to the devil to steal our peace and joy and ravage our very souls (and perhaps our sanity.)

How Do We Forgive?

It’s hard to forgive. It’s hard to move beyond the pain when someone hurts, wrongs, or betrays us. Even the thought of forgiving them curdles in our veins. That person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness. He or she deserves to feel our anger. But the more that root of anger deepens into bitterness, the more our peace evaporates.

Jesus tells us to forgive others, not to punish us or make things hard for us, but to bring us freedom. He demonstrated the humility and the power of forgiveness even as he hung on the cross, asking God to forgive those who were crucifying him at that very moment.  And after he triumphed over death, he offered His forgiveness to us even though our sins are many.

Forgiveness can provide a road to freedom and peace when we take our pain to our loving Father and lay it at His feet. He will bind up the wounds of our heart and heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3).

If you are experiencing deep depression, if your peace has evaporated and joy seems something only found in fairy tales, let God help you examine your heart to see if a root of bitterness and unforgiveness has stolen the sweetness from your life.

How To Find the Freedom

To better understand how to be able to forgive, my Focus on the Family article, Understanding Forgiveness, may clarify it for you and make it easier to get to a peaceful place.

And if you want to experience freedom from depression and negative thoughts, I urge you to read  Patty Mason’s story.

God wants you to experience the freedom only He can give. He wants to give you His peace and joy.

If your heart is breaking and you’re finding it hard to forgive, my first book, Broken Heart on Hold will walk with you through your pain and help you find that road to peace.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts” (Psalm 139:23).

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

 

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Filed Under: bi-polar disorder, forgiveness, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

You Are Beautiful

May 10, 2022 by 1 Comment
Beautiful sunset

Photo by Al Quino

SITTING ON THE DOCK of a lake one late afternoon, I was captivated by the sight of an exquisite sunset.  The colors melting into one another to illuminate the sky stirred the lonely places of my heart. My husband had left several months earlier. Now we were separated, and I had no idea whether we would ever be together again.

Although clouds had enveloped my soul moments before because of my circumstances, I now found myself praising God, thanking Him for this beautiful sunset and the opportunity for me to see it.

“But what if you didn’t see it?  Would the sunset still be as beautiful?” I felt the Spirit of God asking me.

“Yes,” I said, “it would still be just as beautiful.”

“And what if no one saw this sunset, would it still be just as beautiful?” “Yes,” I said, “it would still be just as beautiful.”

“And if I make a person beautiful, but no one loves them, are they still beautiful?”  God’s Spirit inquired.

“Yes” I said, “they would still be beautiful.”

“I made you beautiful…and I love you.  So if your husband does not see your beauty, does that mean you are not beautiful?  If he does not love you, does that mean you are not loved?”

“No,” I whispered.  “I do not need anyone else to love me or think I am beautiful.  You are enough, Lord. If you love me and think I am beautiful, then that is enough.’

“I loved you enough to die for you,” He said.  “I created you to be the unique person that you are.  You are beautiful.  I love you.”

At that I bowed my head in praise and worshipped Him in love.

Excerpted from Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation by Linda W. Rooks

If you need more hope and encouragement, you may find the hope you’re looking for in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. When facing the turmoil of a troublesome marriage, sometimes what we need most is a touch from God’s Spirit on our life so we can become stronger and more secure as we face each day.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Divorce, faith, Fear, Feeling unworthy, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, Knowing God, Lonliness, Love, Marital separation, Marriage problems, Pain, Praise, Rejection, Uncategorized, Waiting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Finding True Love on Valentine’s Day

February 2, 2022 by 2 Comments

FEBRUARY IS HERE. And so are thoughts about Valentine’s Day. Hearts and flowers decorate the stores. Heart-shaped boxes of chocolates greet us on our way in to shop for groceries. It’s the month of love.

It’s a happy time for some people. But for others, the coming of Valentine’s Day just magnifies the pain tugging at their hearts.  Focusing on “love” is the last thing they want to do.A purple heart says "love me" and pink flowers are nearby

If this is you, and your heart sinks with melancholy when you think about Valentine’s Day, turn your heart in another direction, where true love is encased in a reality beyond what you have ever known or will ever know in this world. If you do, the sorrow and disillusionment of Valentine’s Day may actually open your eyes to the most loving relationship you have ever known. Yes, you might find hope in an unexpected place.

If we look up instead of inward, if we chase away those fears of rejection by earthly lovers and instead embrace the true lover of our souls, we will rise above the failures and pain and begin to understand the true nature of love.

The author of love stands ready to enfold us in His arms. He is always ready to give and receive our love. And he will never leave us. His is the pure, unconditional love we long for, but will never find on this earth among fallen humankind.

Who else would pursue us through eternity to give us life by subjecting Himself to death?  Who else is so intent on giving us joy that He would take intense sorrow and pain upon Himself so we can enter into the wonder of an eternity with Him?  And our eternity can begin now in a loving relationship with Him as we trust Him and lean on Him and take His word into our hearts.

Paul pleads for us to understand this in his book to the Ephesians when he says:  “I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.”  (Ephesians 3:17-19 Living Bible)

Cling now to these words. Fill your minds up with this incredible truth. Open your heart to Paul’s prayer and accept God’s wondrous love that is meant for YOU.

“How long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is!”  How amazing!  How incomprehensible. Can you wrap your minds around it?  This Valentine’s Day meditate on these words.  Let God’s love embrace you. As I’ve heard my grandchildren say, It may be “the best Valentine’s Day ever.”

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

If your heart is hurting and Valentine’s Day just seems like one more painful thing to take in, the heart-warming words of my book, Broken Heart on Hold, may bring you the peace and loving God-connection you’re looking for.

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Filed Under: Depression, Desire, disappointment, Feeling unworthy, Hope, Lonliness, Love, Pain, Uncategorized, Valentine's Day Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Give Yourself a Break this Christmas–Find a Good Book

December 16, 2021 by Leave a Comment

white coffee cup on a tableWHEN WE’RE GOING through a time of stress, we often neglect doing things we enjoy. With our focus on the problems swirling around us, we cease to enter into routines, habits, and activities that give us a sense of peace and wholeness. Consequently, our problems crowd out those very things that help us have a sense of well being as we inadvertently find ourselves more dependent than ever on the very sources of our distress.

One of the things that is relaxing for some people, is becoming absorbed in a good book. During this Christmas season, you might want to check out some books for yourself or perhaps one to gift as a gift.

As we prepare for Christmas, I’d like to offer you some suggestions to give yourself a little break from the stresses you may be experiencing. If you enjoy reading, this is particularly for you. If not, I hope the following list of books might provide some ideas as a gift for someone else.

We Who Remain

If you like legal dramas or have a lawyer on your gift list, We Who Remain by Darryl Bloodworth, may strike a chord with you and offer an exciting reprieve from whatever else you’re facing. The exciting climax may give you a little inspiration as well. Here’s the plot:

With a disagreeable client and a wife recently diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, attorney David Jordan attempts to unscramble a complicated legal case that begins to take unexpected twists and turns. Meanwhile, his wife Carol, CEO of a women’s crisis center, struggles through her cancer treatments, attempting to raise enough money to save her life-changing center for battered women and children. Both at home and at work, the stress continues to build until events come to a dramatic and unanticipated climax. The story plays out with themes of redemption, family, sacrifice and love as David and Carol wrestle with the question of why bad things happen to good people.

His Gift

fingers of someone playing a pianoAnyone who has had a dream for the future will be able to identify with the challenges faced by Molly, the main character in His Gift by Joan Benson. If you have an ear for music, or if someone on your gift list is a music lover or aspires to use their musical talent in a meaningful way, this book is for you. For as Joan Benson reminds us, “Dreams Can Come True!”

Brace yourself for a thrilling race through the twists and turns of a young woman determined to see her dream come true. On the cusp of the stock market crash of 1929, seventeen-year-old Molly has aspirations for a career in music after high school. With the passion of an athlete preparing for the Olympics, she trains relentlessly to become the best she can be. As her world collapses in unimaginable ways, she is left to find peace and purpose in the midst of her crisis. The message of His Gift is universal to anyone who has ever dared to dream in spite of uncontrollable circumstances. The reader will discover with Molly, the hope and peace in a life when yielded to the Giver of all gifts.Guy in a cowboy hat smiling at a pretty redheaded woman

Hometown Healing

If you like books with a western twist or know someone on your Christian gift list who does, Hometown Healing by Jennifer Slattery, might draw your attention. And it sounds like there’s a hint of romance as well. I love her tag line for the book, “She’s home again, but not for long…Unless this cowboy recaptures her heart.”

Returning home with a baby in tow, Paige Cordell’s determined her stay is only temporary. But to earn enough money to leave, she needs a job—and her only option is working at her first love’s dinner theater. With attraction once again unfurling between her and Jed Gilbertson, can the man who once broke her heart convince her to stay for good?

The Bunny Side of Easter

Moon shining on a rabbit, an angel, and a duck in the forestLooking for a book for a child on your list? My children’s book, The Bunny Side of Easter, is an exciting adventure about four little animals lost in the forest, who face some scary moments and overcome them because of a little rabbit’s heroism. And, yes . . . this is a story about the Easter bunny, but it’s also about how the rabbit got in the moon. (And there really is a rabbit in the shadows of every full moon. I’ll show you all about it.)

But how did he get in the moon? Because he was a HERO! Easter heroes are heroes all year long so share this bunny story with your child this Christmas. This little bunny will warm your child’s heart and yours — no matter what the time of year.

 

Whether or not reading a book is your cup of tea, find something enjoyable to do over this Christmas season. Taking a break from the stresses may bring you a greater sense of stability and peace.

And, of course, when you’re looking for real peace and encouragement, the best book of all is the good book we’re all familiar with–The Bible. Whatever book you choose to find enjoyment from, be sure to add the Bible to your list as well.Open Bible with glasses lying on top

 

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Getting to Know God’s Heart—Interview with Patty Mason

November 8, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Book cover for Gettng to Know God's HeartIN ANY LOVE RELATIONSHIP, getting to know the other person’s heart draws us closer to them and creates a more intimate relationship. The same is true of God. If we know His heart, we will better understand what is important to Him. But how do we get to know God’s heart? In Getting to Know God’s Heart, author Patty Mason has created a beautiful Bible study that presents a seamless picture of God’s love as she weaves her own spiritual pilgrimage into the scriptural story of our heavenly Father’s love for us. Her Bible study invites the reader to personally experience God’s love in a more intimate way. Because of Patty’s warm and transparent style, this encouraging book is a resource I will regularly recommend to those going through troubling times.

Linda: Patty, what prompted you to begin seeking God’s heart?

 Patty: While battling depression, I watched a friend, who had more problems than I could count, go through life with joy. “How did she do it?” I wondered. How could she exhibit joy when she was left to care for her sick mother while her workaholic husband left her to raise four children on her own.

In comparison, my life was grand, yet she had peace and joy. God was her Rock, the one she clung to, and she spoke of Him with passion. God was not my favorite topic of conversation.

I could think of twenty other topics I would rather discuss. So I resisted, even though her enthusiasm for God caught my attention.

Linda: If her enthusiasm caught your attention, why did you hesitate? 

 Patty: Many things can keep us from wanting to know God.  I hesitated because I associated God with church and religion. To me church felt fickle and phony—reserved for the well-mannered, well-respected, and well-dressed. The church was not filled with people who knew how to love well, so I concluded God would treat me the way they did.

It’s sad to me now how we can embrace a false view of God based on how people treat us. God designed earthly relationships to serve as examples and reminders of His love for us, but if we’ve been harmed through human relationship, it can be difficult to receive God’s love.

When we’re going through something very hard, it’s easy to question God’s heart and begin to wonder, “Does God see? Does He even care?”

For thirty-six years, I had no idea how much God loved me and longed to have a relationship with me. I knew facts about God. I believed Jesus died on the cross, but I didn’t understand the depth of His love demonstrated upon that cross.

Linda: What led you to set aside your beliefs and seek God’s heart?

 Patty: Sheer desperation. I wanted the peace and joy my friend had, but until I became desperate, I wasn’t willing to pursue it. I needed healing. All the screaming, crying, and fits of rage were destroying my family and my life. Consuming alcohol to cope numbed the pain but fixed nothing. And when no one I turned to could help me, I was out of options.

I saw that amid her problems, my friend carried a joy and peace that was foreign to me. She seemed to know something I didn’t. So, when life became more than I could handle, I finally cried out to God.

Linda: What happened? How did God respond? 

 Patty: The day I was planning to take my life, God intervened. After years of battling depression, Jesus saved me, and His healing touch caused my heart to swing wide open. Suddenly, I wanted to know God. And this desire to know Him took me on a life-changing journey.

Linda: How did knowing God’s heart change your life?

 Patty: As a believer, I understood “how” God saved us, what I didn’t understand was “why” He saved us. In all those years of growing up in church, going through the motions of religion, I never saw the passion of God’s heart. I didn’t understand what He was after or how the healing balm of His love could set me free from deep wounds and rejection.

Getting to know God’s heart changed me because it changed my perspective of God, myself, and those around me. Seeing His heart for me filled me with a love for Him and others. As it says in 1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

Jesus came to set the captives free, and when we know God’s heart for us, that understanding can set us free from sin, wounds, addictions, temptations, and past hurts.

Linda: What led you to write Getting to Know God’s Heart? And what do you hope people will gain from reading it?

Patty: The one thing I want people to know is: The greatest desire of God’s heart is you! He longs for you. What He wants most is you—all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is what my friend knew about God. She knew she was passionately loved by the Almighty God of the Universe and that understanding awakened her soul. She knew, no matter what she faced in life, His heart was for her, and it gave her peace.

This is what my friend wanted for me. She wanted to help me recognize the one thing that would change my life—an awareness of God’s love. This is why I wrote the book, and what I want for those who read it to receive. Above all else, no matter who they are or what they are going through, God loves them passionately and cares about them deeply.

Linda: What made you decide to use a Bible study format rather than just a regular chapter book?

Patty: It’s vital we see God’s heart through His word, not through the commentary of the author.

Much of our inner pain comes from not knowing God. And I wanted the reader to have the thrill of discovering His heart for them through the intimacy of His word.

Linda: What would you say to someone who is having trouble receiving God’s heart for them?

 Patty: Perhaps, like me, you have experienced setbacks in your pursuit of God. But don’t allow those obstacles to define God’s character or your relationship with Him. Regardless of what has held you back, be encouraged. God’s unyielding love will not give up on you. He knows you. He sees you, and He will not stop in His relentless pursuit of you.

So, allow me to challenge you to let go of any pain, false beliefs, or expectations, and pursue the heart of God and allow Him to capture you with the wonders of His love.

This is a choice. You can hold onto grudges, bitterness, and hurt. You can keep your current perspective and remain stuck. You can continue to strive and struggle, convinced God is only interested in your performance. Or you can lay all that aside and discover a love so profound it will set you free, fill you with love, and give you identity and purpose.

Linda: Patty, thank you for writing this beautiful, life changing book. Where can people find out more about your book, Getting to Know God’s Heart as well as your ministry and other books?

 Patty: To learn more, they can visit www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com

I would also like to invite them to join me on our FB group Quick & Easy Bible Studies for Women at www.facebook.com/groups/quickandeasybiblestudies

 

 

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What If My Marriage Is Not Reconciled?

October 17, 2021 by 2 Comments

woman looking upwardWHEN SELENA TOLD ME about her divorce, I was crushed. Years before, she had gone through Marriage 911, reconciled with her husband and been an enthusiastic supporter of others going through our ministry. We hadn’t been in touch for quite a while, and when she informed me of the happenings of the previous year, I was in shock.

She had made so many changes. She was more vibrant. Closer to God. She had literally become a more beautiful woman. She had ministered to others too and helped them walk this difficult journey.

I had not seen this coming, and neither had she. Her husband had seemed supportive, and they had come a long way. His divorcing her was completely unexpected.

For days I drug around, wondering how this could happen, asking God why. I remembered others whose marriages had also not reconciled. People who seemed to be doing all the right things.

One morning as I spent a prolonged time in prayer, God started whispering to my heart with memories, recollections, and encouragement. In my memory I saw Selena when she first came to class and how she was now. She had changed dramatically. She was more vibrant, more beautiful with a light in her eyes and a softness in her face. Her words were uplifting and gracious. She was closer to God and had a vital faith.

As God began to show me this, He began to speak to me in my heart. It’s not all about the marriage, Linda. It’s about the person themselves. And their relationship to me. I want them to come closer to me. And that’s what’s most important.

Awhile later my husband asked me what I was doing. I told him I’d been spending time with God and He was showing me some things.

“What did He show you?” he asked. “I always like hearing what God says to you.”

When I told him, he said, “Well that’s what we say in Marriage 911. You can’t change your spouse. You can only change yourself. It’s about your relationship between you and God.”

“And that’s what people say to me in their emails too,” I said. “Many people, whose marriages weren’t reconciled, email me to say that even though their marriage didn’t get back together and it was one of the hardest times in their life, they wouldn’t trade this experience because they had come so much closer to God.”

So, yes, after spending that time with the Lord, I realized it all comes down to this.

Even though my books and our Marriage 911 ministry have helped to bring about many reconciled marriages, there is no guarantee. Our fallen human natures still impact the results. The sinful choices and desires of a spouse can undermine God’s best plan for us. Likewise, our own past choices may have exhausted the emotional strength and patience of our mate. God gives us free will and does not force His own will upon us.

Sometimes in the searching for answers, we find answers we never expected, answers that explain far more than what initially drove us in our search.

In one of the last stories of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, I quote an email sent to me from Theresa, who had gone through Marriage 911 and read Broken Heart on Hold, but whose marriage still ended in a divorce initiated by her husband. In the email she recalls the difficult journey and what she had learned through it.  “What if I was not really fighting for my marriage?” she asks. “What if God was actually having me fight for myself—my soul, my heart, my own salvation?” She finishes the email by saying, “The one that has been restored, I assure you, has been ME! I can finally hear Jesus saying to my heart, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19).’”

As I continued to meditate on what God was showing me that day, I pictured someone dancing in God’s presence, joyful in the love surrounding them.  And I realized, although we want to help reconcile marriages, our ultimate goal is this: to open up each person’s heart to God, themselves, and others so they can shed the shabbiness within their souls and become the beautiful creation God intended them to be.

Hopefully, as they dance into their new persona, their spouses will be able to join them in the dance and the two of them can grow together in the pursuit of holiness God wants them to have. But even if their spouse does not join them, they will not dance alone. Jesus is there to lead them into the joyful discovery of all He holds for them. His love will be ever-present and His dance will lift them to new heights.

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Filed Under: disappointment, Divorce, Expectations, faith, God's goodness, Hope, How to win, Knowing God, Marital separation, marriage, Marriage problems, Peace, Reconciliation, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

When Your Mind is Muddled

April 29, 2021 by Leave a Comment

woman working in the garden“HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).

A few days ago, my day seemed to hit one crash after another. First, I received a rejection from an editor I had really wanted to work with. Next, I found a minor medical problem wasn’t so minor after all and needed serious attention. Thirdly, I received a discouraging report about another problem that was escalating.

Why does bad news always seem to come in threes?

I felt muddled and scrambled in my mind. Disappointment mixed with questions and genuine concern thrashed around in my head. My emotions felt unsteady and troubled. Even my prayers felt shallow and inconsequential. “Where are you, God?”

Standing at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and felt drawn to the peace and quiet of my backyard where fern fluttered in the breeze and the greens of grass and other nearby plants beckoned.

Instinctively, the uneasiness within me led me to my gardening tools, where I picked up a shovel, donned my garden gloves and headed outdoors to work in the yard where I can always count on feeling God’s presence surrounding me in His creation.

The next day, although calmer, intermittent traces of anxiety continued to spike through my emotions.

So I sat at my computer and spent the day writing—an endeavor I love that takes my mind to new levels of God’s grace. By the end of the day I felt better, and thanked God for His continued presence, knowing that through all circumstances, “He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Through my yard work and my writing, I’d found two of the paths God had provided for me to find His peace.

How and why did this help?

When our minds are muddled and emotions unsettled, where do we go for peace? Ideally, going straight to the Bible and spending time in prayer steadies our hearts and minds and gives us perspective. That’s the best answer. But sometimes we first need to transition into a place of restoration where our hearts are more open to hear God’s voice.

Identifying calming influences in our lives that help us pull together our muddled emotions and become centered again is important for each of us. If we allow our emotions and agitated thoughts to have free reign, they can lead us away from God and into places we don’t want to go. But if we channel them into nurturing avenues God has wired into our DNA, we can enter into a more peaceful place.

Each of us is different. While for me, writing and working in the yard comforts my spirit, for you it might be an artistic endeavor like playing the piano, painting, or sculpting. Or perhaps working with your hands on a project in your workshop or car helps unravel the stress that holds your mind and spirit captive.  Maybe you have an athletic bent so that riding a bike, throwing a few hoops of basketball, or working out in the gym calms you.

One of the ways God gives us peace is through the gifts He gives us in our own DNA – gifts that mobilize us and inspire us to action. When we recognize positive activities that nurture our spirits and bring us peace, God can draw us to a place of rest where we are better able to hear His voice.

What is it for you that calms your spirit? What do you feel drawn to when your mind is muddled that lies within God’s boundaries of morality and goodness? What activities help you expel the tension that binds up your joy? If you don’t know, start by taking a walk in a park or an area rich with natural beauty. While we have diverse interests that calm us, God’s creation is a universal conduit He uses to bring healing to our spirits. So if we’re unsure of the gifts God has given us to bring peace, we can always start with nature.

God has created each of us to have diverse interests and talents. Discovering what they are can serve us well as we navigate a troubled world and the unpredictable ups and downs of life. As you submit to God’s nurturing hand in these activities, let them lead you back to Him. For it is in Him you’ll find the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7). And it is through Him that “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life (Psalm 23: 6).

What is your happy place?

What is an activity that calms you when your mind feels muddled?

If you need to find peace in the middle of a troubled marriage, I invite you to let me walk beside you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. It can be an encouraging friend to you as you walk this lonely journey.

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