My Husband’s Final Journey Home

January 24, 2024 by 5 Comments

sailboat on a journey far off at seaIT’S STRANGE HOW the journey of life moves us through various circumstances so that a story might impact us one way at one point in our life and as we turn a corner, it suddenly meets us once again to impact us in an entirely different way.

When I wrote Broken Heart on Hold, I tell the story of walking on the beach and envisioning what it would be like to take that walk into eternity at the end of my life, the sun streaming down upon me, the light guiding me home to be with Jesus. In Broken Heart on Hold, it was about how that walk would be  my own; no one would go with me, but the decisions I made in the pain of my circumstances could impact my eternal future. Would I walk toward Jesus or away from Him? Would I let bitterness engulf me or allow God to carve out a space in my heart for Him to dwell?

Today, I think of that story again because my husband has now made that final journey. He went to be with the Lord on December 13. It was his own walk into eternity. And no matter what had happened between us, how close we were or weren’t, he went alone. It was between him and God. It was heart-wrenching for me, but for him I imagine it was glorious.

I think back to that time when he and I were separated, when life was in chaos, when the decisions each of us made not only affected the relationship between us, but also the relationship each of us had with God. It was a painful time, but I thank God that the steps each of us made enabled us to emerge from those circumstances, tasting a victory that drew us closer to God and each other.

Now he is home with Jesus. Although we walked together for another 25 years after we restored our marriage, I couldn’t be with him on that final journey. It was his alone. And I try to picture it in my mind. His meeting Jesus. That moment of jubilation when the earthly cares of this world were fading behind and the glory stretched out before him. His last days were hard, but they were permeated with the sweetness of God as I saw his heart swell more and more with an expanding tenderness and love for others. The last words he struggled to say to me before he was no longer able to communicate were, “I love you.”

He fought the good fight. He finished the race. He kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7) I will miss him terribly, but I know he is safe in the arms of Jesus and one day I will see him again.

Marvin Rooks passed into the arms of Jesus on December 13, 2023, leaving behind his wife Linda, daughters Julie and Laura and 5 grandchildren. Marv’s optimism, enthusiasm, sense of humor and dedication to family and friends will be greatly missed by the many people who loved him. (You can read his official obituary here:

The story referred to above can be found on Page 136 of my book, Broken Heart on Hold, a book that has encouraged many people during a time of marital upheaval.

To my subscribers: Because of what I’ve written here about my husband’s final journey home, I’m sure you now understand why my blog posts have lately been infrequent. My heart is heavy even as I write this. It’s hard to see the reality in print. As I reflect on this new season of my life, don’t be surprised if future posts contain bits of reflection on how losing a spouse can affect a person’s perspective on marital situations in the past. Thank you for your prayers as I begin this new journey.

My husband on his final journey home

 

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Filed Under: Death, forgiveness, Grief, loss, Marriage problems, Problems, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

The Problem with Unforgiveness

June 29, 2022 by Leave a Comment
woman full of unforgiveness, looking out wndow

Photo by Anthony Tran

“AND FORGIVE US our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us . . .”

These are familiar words I’ve repeated over and over again every time I say the Lord’s Prayer.  I understand what I’m saying. I’m asking God to forgive me in the same proportion as I forgive others. And I think I am pretty forgiving of others. And yet, every now and then when certain names are occasionally mentioned, bad feelings rise within me. Is that unforgiveness?

If so, what is the problem with unforgiveness?

Recently, a friend told me that at one time in her life she’d been so bound up with unforgiveness that it actually caused her to become mentally ill for a while. She was even temporarily institutionalized.

It was a shocking revelation that jolted me into thinking more about the subject of unforgiveness.

What is Unforgiveness?

What is unforgiveness? Why do we carry it around? How can it have such negative effects on us? And where does it begin?

I found part of the answer in Ephesians 4:26-27. “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Unforgiveness begins as a simmering anger that grows and grows, an anger we nurture in our hearts and minds. But Paul’s warning above is that by allowing it to fester within us, we are “giving the devil a foothold.” We are opening ourselves up to the devil’s schemes to “kill, steal, and destroy”  (John 10:10). And one way he tries to destroy us is by planting seeds of bitterness within us because he knows the damage bitterness can do to our souls. And that bitterness often evolves from unforgiveness.

But unforgiveness doesn’t just happen out of thin air. We have reasons for not being able to forgive. We’ve been hurt. Maybe deeply hurt. And wronged. Unforgiveness seems like a way of protecting ourselves from more hurt and a way to inflict justice on the one who hurt us. Our pain blinds us from the deeper truth that the bitter root of unforgiveness spreading through our minds and hearts gives a foothold to the devil to steal our peace and joy and ravage our very souls (and perhaps our sanity.)

How Do We Forgive?

It’s hard to forgive. It’s hard to move beyond the pain when someone hurts, wrongs, or betrays us. Even the thought of forgiving them curdles in our veins. That person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness. He or she deserves to feel our anger. But the more that root of anger deepens into bitterness, the more our peace evaporates.

Jesus tells us to forgive others, not to punish us or make things hard for us, but to bring us freedom. He demonstrated the humility and the power of forgiveness even as he hung on the cross, asking God to forgive those who were crucifying him at that very moment.  And after he triumphed over death, he offered His forgiveness to us even though our sins are many.

Forgiveness can provide a road to freedom and peace when we take our pain to our loving Father and lay it at His feet. He will bind up the wounds of our heart and heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3).

If you are experiencing deep depression, if your peace has evaporated and joy seems something only found in fairy tales, let God help you examine your heart to see if a root of bitterness and unforgiveness has stolen the sweetness from your life.

How To Find the Freedom

To better understand how to be able to forgive, my Focus on the Family article, Understanding Forgiveness, may clarify it for you and make it easier to get to a peaceful place.

And if you want to experience freedom from depression and negative thoughts, I urge you to read  Patty Mason’s story.

God wants you to experience the freedom only He can give. He wants to give you His peace and joy.

If your heart is breaking and you’re finding it hard to forgive, my first book, Broken Heart on Hold will walk with you through your pain and help you find that road to peace.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts” (Psalm 139:23).

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

 

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Righteous Relationship Reset, Interview with Author Sherri Downs

January 19, 2022 by Leave a Comment

Book cover of Righteous Relationship ResetCAN YOU “RESET” your marriage, and in effect, start over? Author Sherri Downs believes you can. In her book, Righteous Relationship Reset, she shares personally how God reset her own marriage by meticulously unwrapping the message God gave her when her marriage was in trouble. I recently did an interview with her on her Marriage Matters podcast, where Sherri seeks to provide listeners with hope and help on their marriage journeys. Sherri has a real heart to see marriages strengthened and uses her multi-media talents to do just that.

Linda: Sherri, tell me why you wrote a book about marriage reset?

Sherri: I identify the word reset in the terms of a fresh start. I’ve often heard “we serve a God of a second chances.” So, after experiencing devastation in my marriage, which, I share in my book Righteous Relationship Reset, I began to petition God to reset my marriage as if the devastation had never happened. As God began to restore and reset my marriage, I began to feel the call to share the message of hope, restoration, and a fresh start.

Linda: Why do you think marriages sometimes need to be reset?

Sherri: Unfortunately, we live in a broken world system and there will always be forces both natural and spiritual that will test our humanity. And the fact of the matter is, sometimes we pass, and sometimes we fail. Marriage is a relationship that is designed to be till death do us part. Humans are not perfect. On the contrary, we are flawed, and in marriage we will make mistakes. Those mistakes will need forgiveness and an ability to start afresh and reset. Now a reset doesn’t wipe away consequences, but it does give you a chance to not allow them to hold you back as you choose humility and forgiveness.

Linda: What do you believe was the intent of God for marriage?

Sherri: God created marriage with the intent that man and woman would live in harmony with one another. The newly created beings were to be fruitful, multiply, and replenish the earth. God took the expression of the relationship and created a covenant with Adam and Eve which would mirror the trinity, God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The two human beings were pure yet untested.

Linda: What does reconciliation look like in marriage?

Sherri: We are all called to be more like Jesus, and the ministry of Jesus is reconciliation. Forgiveness does not always equal reconciliation. However, reconciliation comes as one follows the leading of Holy Spirit and the display of true repentance. God requires that no one become a doormat to destructive behaviors. True repentance has the attributes of honesty, acknowledgement of offense, remorse over the action, accountability, and actions that display evidence of change.

Linda: In marriage, you’ve said in your book, Righteous Relationship Reset, that unrealistic expectations can rob couples of embracing the beauty of relationship. Can you explain what you mean and how one can change this?

Sherri: Unrealistic expectations are a result of an assumption we should receive something from someone which they do not have the capacity Photo of Sherri Downsto give. The only person that can meet all our needs is God, and we are to live with the understanding that He is our ultimate source. This is not to say that we are never to expect things from our spouse. However, proper communication to verbally express those expectations is key. Then after the expectations are verbalized each can come to an understanding whether they can be met by the other spouse. I believe when we accept each person for who they are while providing grace to grow we may experience a beauty of evolving as a couple.

Linda: That is such an important point. But you stress another point as well. When and how does one place proper boundaries around their marriage?

Sherri: I’ve come to understand that boundaries are needed around everything. The world is an expression of that—streets, oceans, forests, continents, and seas all have boundaries. If boundaries did not exist, we would all live in chaos. Our lives need boundaries as well, finances, relationships, children, and our marriage. I regret not coming to the realization of the importance of enforced boundaries in my early years. Maybe someone told me, but the revelation didn’t become real until I experienced the devastation from not enforcing them around everything. We must intentionally start a marriage thinking about the important things which will make a marriage last.

If you’re already married, you may want to stop and have serious conversations to address areas of chaos. Chances are those are the places where there are no enforced boundaries. If apparent chaos is not present, sit and think about areas where boundaries would be beneficial and put them in place together.

Linda: Where does one start to rebuild a marriage?

Sherri: When a marriage has been torn down, the first place to start to rebuild a marriage is repentance, forgiveness, and commitment to the process of rebuilding. When a marriage is destroyed, it’s like a demolition of a building that took time to construct. When that building is destroyed the only way to rebuild it is by placing the bricks back one at a time. Brick by brick the building is restored.

Linda: Do you believe any marriage can be saved?

Sherri: I believe any marriage can be saved if both parties are willing to do marriage God’s way. The only marriage which cannot be saved is the one who’s hearts have turned cold towards God. When we allow Holy Spirit the opportunity to soften our hearts, He can restore anything. No one goes into a marriage saying, I want to be divorced. There was once an intention to be married for a very long time. Humility is key for both spouses along with allowing Holy Spirit to lead the way to restore the marriage better than it was before. I always say, “God specializes in resurrecting dead things, even a broken, devastated marriage.”

Linda: Any final thoughts?

Sherri: God had a specific intent in mind for marriage. Culture has perverted marriage by inserting doctrines that contradict God’s Word, Will, and Ways. Kingdom citizens are encouraged to view marriage with spiritual lenses. “I heard it said that ‘a perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other,’ and I agree. God desires to bring His will into our marriages, but someone must choose to do marriage God’s way.”

Linda: How can people find more about you and your book, Righteous Relationship Reset?

Sherri: To connect with me or purchase my book, Righteous Relationship Reset, visit www.touchdownsenterprise.com or my Facebook Page at https://www.facebook.com/OfficialSherriDowns Readers can also email me at info@touchdownsenterprise.com

 

 

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Marriage on the Mend, Healing Your Marriage after Crisis, Separation or Divorce – Interview with Co-author Penny Bragg

March 24, 2021 by 1 Comment

Marriage on the Mend is a must-have book for couples who are trying to restore broken marriagesDO MIRACLES HAPPEN? Can marriages reconcile when it looks almost impossible for it to happen? YES, and the story of Clint and Penny Bragg proves the point.

But how the reconciliation takes place and how the marriage is mended  becomes an important part of this story. Clint and Penny’s book, Marriage on the Mend, Healing Your Marriage after Crisis, Separation or Divorce, is a must-have book for couples who are trying to restore broken marriages. And co-author Penny Bragg is here to tell you more about both their story and their book.

In our Marriage 911 classes, we have often  invited Clint and Penny to share their amazing story of reconciliation, and each time they come, they provide new hope for couples who thought their marriages might be over. However, in addition to their story, Clint and Penny’s book, Marriage on the Mend gives couples the tools to actually put their marriages back together, brick by brick, after they make the decision to reconcile.

Linda: Penny, you have an extraordinary testimony of reconciliation. After your divorce, did you ever think it would be possible to remarry each other?

Penny: Neither of us ever imagined God would reconcile our marriage. We had been divorced for over a decade and had absolutely NO contact with each other during those years. And when we say, “no contact,” we mean it. We had not spoken since the day our divorce papers were notarized citing, “Irreconcilable differences have caused the permanent breakdown of our marriage.” Once that happened, we each went our separate ways.

Early Married Life and How it All Unraveled

Linda: Were you Christians when you were married back in 1989?

Penny: Yes, we were Christians. We were married in the church and had a beautiful ceremony. However, we had no clue how to be married. We thought if we loved God and each other, that was enough. We were not mature enough in our faith to realize that we were going to have to work hard to have a good marriage. We also didn’t want to tell anyone we were struggling because we were in leadership positions in the church.

Linda: Yes, I’m afraid that can easily happen to people in leadership. Tell me though, were there specific issues that led up to your separation and divorce?

Penny: Yes, we can look back at it all now and see it so clearly. We both had a ton of baggage from our childhoods and secrets we never shared with one another. Those things seemed to subtly crawl out from under the carpet and creep in between us. We had gone on a mission trip together after our first year of marriage and when we came back, that’s when the division started. We couldn’t really put our finger on what was wrong. Clint could feel me pulling away, but we didn’t have good communication skills to work through things. He started getting worried because I was spending a lot of time away from our house and away from him. He confronted me about an affair, but I denied it.

Linda: Did you attempt to reconcile after you were separated?

Penny: I was the one who walked out. I wasn’t being honest with Clint. I was being unfaithful to him and to God. Clint tried to do all the right things to reconcile, but I would have NONE of it. The more he pursued me, the more I ran away. When he showed up unexpectedly at my workplace, I threw my wedding ring across the room at him. It was ugly. I was ugly. I closed my Bible and I closed my heart. I understand now that I had never really let Jesus heal all the wounds from my childhood and that I took out all that pain on Clint. He now understands that he was doing the same thing to me.

Reconciliation and Remarriage

Linda: I’ve heard you share your amazing story of how God started the ball of reconciliation rolling. Would you share with our readers what happened?

Penny: Unbeknownst to either of us at the time, God had paralleled our lives during our eleven years apart. But, He never allowed us to intersect. What we didn’t know was that we had both recommitted our lives to Christ after wandering our own paths away from Him. We finally let Him reach down and touch all the wounds in our hearts. I was working with a Christian counselor, trying to heal and bring closure to things in my life that I had broken through sin. The LAST thing on my list was contacting Clint, even though he should have been at the top. I was too scared after all I had done to him. I had NO intention to try and reconcile, just to heal and confess the truth to him. I also wanted to ask his forgiveness and apologize for what I had done.

Linda: The rest of the details of your incredible reconciliation are in your book, Marriage on the Mend, right? Tell me more about your remarriage and your book.

Penny: Yes, Marriage on the Mend—Healing Your Relationship After Crisis, Separation, or Divorce, Authors Clint and Penny Bragg(Kregel, 2015) contains our story. But it also covers the first five years of our remarriage to each other. Once we remarried in 2002, we had a mountain of consequences to overcome. People tend to think that you just reconcile and then cross it off your list. WRONG. Reconciliation is something we work on every day. We’ve now been remarried for almost 13 years. We’ve learned over and over again that reconciliation is not about following a recipe, it’s about following Jesus Christ. God did not allow us to have contact with each other until we had both reconciled our relationships with Him.

Tools for Reconciling

Linda: What great insight! So often, couples want to just repair the marriage itself, but until their hearts are right with God, it’s hard for them to get their hearts right with each other. What would you say are the main tools that have helped you build a strong marriage the second time around?

Penny: There are many tools that have helped us along the way. During our first remarriage conflict, God really got our attention. We didn’t want to fail at our marriage again. We were desperate for Him. We also didn’t have any counselor or books that seemed to meet our needs. But, we had both established a strong relationship with God which included meeting with Him alone daily. That is the most important thing in our remarriage that has made all the difference. In addition, we never leave the house without praying together in the morning first. We also meet together once-a-week to read the Word and pray together. Having prayer/accountability partners is another must in our marriage. Those people have permission to call us on the carpet when needed. They are our marriage advocates. We also get away with God each quarter to really talk about the deeper issues in our marriage, to seek Him together, set goals, and assess our progress. All of these tools have drastically cut down the conflict in our marriage.

Linda: What are some of the hardest issues you think couples must deal with after they reconcile?

Penny: Unforgiveness and bitterness over past mistakes seems to plague most couples who reconcile. The key is learning to accept forgiveness and reconciliation as a PROCESS…an ongoing process that takes time and effort. In addition, couples must learn a way out of the cycle or revolving door that gets them stuck in the same offense or argument over and over again. We have several tools in our book to address these issues.

Linda: Tell me about the QR codes in Marriage on the Mend and why you wanted to integrate video into the reading experience.

Penny: As former educators in the public school system, we know how important it is to model the things that are taught. People need to see tools and concepts in action to understand how to apply them. We were thrilled when our publisher, Kregel, suggested we take all the video podcasts we had made and link them right into the book using QR codes. That way, as you read you can scan the QR code with your Smartphone or tablet and see a visual demonstration of each tool. There are 40 podcasts connected and threaded into Marriage on the Mend. We also posted all those videos on the Internet so people can access them for free, even if they haven’t read the book. They can also be accessed through our website http://www.InverseMinistriesPodcast.org or on our Marriage on the Mend YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/MarriageontheMend

Advice for the Separated or Divorced

Linda: A number of the people reading this may be separated or divorced. What advice would you give?

Penny: Focus on strengthening your individual relationship with God daily. We designed some free resources to help you do that, including our “Give God 40 Days” devotional. We also have a resource entitled, “Do the Desert Well,” which encourages you with specific ways to allow God to change and heal your heart. Just e-mail us at reconcile@inverseministries.org and we are more than happy to send these to you. We also have a set of 40 scripture/prayer cards to deepen your prayer life. We know how painful the journey is for those who feel like their spouse or ex-spouse is showing NO signs of reconciliation. That’s why we created so many resources to walk alongside those who feel like there is no hope. If God can reconcile our marriage, He can reconcile ANY marriage!

Linda: Where can people find out more about your book, Marriage on the Mend?

Penny: Our website has all the information about this book and others we’ve written about marriage, including what others are saying and an informational video. http://www.InverseMinistries.org.

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Divorce, Expectations, forgiveness, Hope, How to win, Infidelity, Interviews, marriage, Marriage problems, marriage resources, Reconciliation, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Unfaithful: Hope & Healing after Infidelity – Interview with Co-Author, Mona Shriver

February 24, 2021 by Leave a Comment

WHEN INFIDELITY INVADES the sacred protection of marriage, shock waves strike at the very foundation of the relationship. The revelation brings unbelievable pain, and many marriages don’t survive. But they can. There is hope. According to Mona and Gary Shriver, authors of Unfaithful: Hope & Healing after Infidelity, a marriage can heal from the trauma of infidelity and eventually thrive once again.

For them, this isn’t just a theory. It’s personal. They have lived both the devastation and the recovery. And Mona is here to share from her heart what she learned from this experience and what she can now pass onto others about the hope and healing that is possible. Their story and their book, Unfaithful, is one I regularly recommend to those in our classes, and I am so pleased to be able to introduce her to you today.

Linda: Mona, I know your book, Unfaithful: Hope & Healing after Infidelity, is based on your personal story, and that you and your husband went through adultery in your own marriage. What led you to share such a deeply personal journey?

Mona: I was absolutely blind sighted by Gary’s admission of being unfaithful. I never, ever thought this could happen to us. Never thought Gary would be capable of such a thing.

Gary and I had been married twenty years. Happily, I thought. We had three active boys between the ages of seven and fourteen. Life was busy. We were Christians. We were best friends. The revelation of his adultery made me question everything I thought I knew, including myself. Gary wanted to save our marriage and I knew that was in line with God’s word. But frankly, I didn’t believe for one minute that we could heal. I knew our marriage was over, but I also knew I had to “try” so that when we did divorce, I could say we tried.

What I learned, what we learned, during that process was the reason we wrote Unfaithful. I learned that you can rebuild, or even build anew, a marriage with love, trust, intimacy and respect after infidelity. What we call a healthy marriage. It can be done. God can do it if you’ll both follow Him in the rebuilding. It was the hardest thing either of us has ever done but we are so glad we did.

Most people don’t believe that. That’s because all we normally see are marriages that didn’t heal. We had been told couples healed but when I asked to speak with someone who had done it, no one could be found. Later our counselor asked us to be that couple for someone else.

That’s how Hope & Healing Ministries began. The four of us met for a while, then began working alongside couples in our support groups. As we watched what God was doing for these marriages, the book just had to be written so others could hear the same words of hope.

Linda: You said marriages can heal from infidelity. People can heal. Tell my readers how that can actually happen. What does it take?   

Mona: We tell couples only two things are required to start the healing process. First is a willingness to try. Both of you willing to work together to try and heal. This doesn’t mean you really believe you can do it. I didn’t. You may not know how you feel about the person you’re married to right now. Very understandable. It just means you’ll try.

That meant I would first commit to God. Sitting at God’s feet, seeking His guidance, being willing to do things His way.

The bottom line was that it wasn’t about what I had done or hadn’t done—blame. It wasn’t about trying to control my spouse or making sure our efforts were “even.” It wasn’t about making anybody happy. And it wasn’t about single handedly saving a marriage or manipulating healing. It was about being the person God created me to be whether I remained married or became single. It was about doing my part and not settling for anything less than real healing.

The second requirement is transparent honesty. Answering questions honestly. Expressing what you think and feel as best you can with as much kindness and respect as possible. This is not the time to acquiesce without input. Honesty sets the foundation for healing, and without it, the work you think you’ve done will crumble when the dishonesty is exposed. And everything counts right now. This is hard stuff, and sometimes you have the opportunity to apologize for how you communicated a truth. But as you continue to work together, you can learn how to better communicate. This is where support and a good Christian counselor can help you with new and better tools. We sure didn’t know what to do or how to do it. Some of us need to speak up more. Some of us need to be quiet more. Both of us need to listen. And treat each other with respect, not because they “deserve it” but because God asked us to treat all people with respect.

Linda: Someone might say, “I’m not sure I want to save this marriage.” Now what?

Mona: The revelation of adultery is comparable to the sudden death of someone you love. It is a trauma and it is that big. It overwhelms your ability to adapt. There are physiological changes in your brain that effect how you process information. You’re a mess—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. That means this is not the best time to make major life changing decisions.

So what do you do? Focus on healing. Even if you separate, the healing is still the focus. There is a wound and it’s huge. It needs to heal. And if your spouse is willing to work through that healing process with you, then that can make your healing a bit easier.

If you have children, this person will continue to be a part of your life whether or not the marriage heals. Your children have two parents and no amount of anger or bitterness will change that. In fact, those most hurt by unhealed wounds are the children. So go ahead and invest the time and effort towards healing. Your kids are worth it.

You can focus on healing because you really have nothing more to lose. Your life is already in chaos. The truth is that the quickest way out of this pain and to feeling good about life again is to heal. There is a third choice beside giving up (divorce) and giving in (staying in a miserable relationship) and that is to heal. As the healing progresses you will be better prepared to consider those life changing decisions.

Linda: How long does it take to heal from infidelity? 

Mona: The truly honest answer is that it takes as long as it takes. It takes until both of you agree the healing is complete.

So what does a healed marriage look like? How do you know when it’s done? As you work through the process, gain some understanding, grieve that which was lost, and resurrect that which is necessary, the acute pain goes away. You will never forget—that is impossible. But it will not dominate your thoughts or control your life like it does in the beginning. It will become a sad memory. But we all live with sad memories in our lives—that doesn’t mean we quit living.

Healing is complete when both of you feel you can approach your spouse with anything. Now that doesn’t mean all your talks are fun—we are still human beings after all. The point is to listen to each other and treat each other with respect and kindness even if we don’t agree so we can reach decisions with which we can both live.

The realization that we were fully healed came in retrospect. It happened so slowly I missed the moment. That was okay.

Linda: What else can help couples heal from adultery? 

Mona: Educate yourself on this process of healing. Unfortunately, not all therapists and pastors agree on the best way to heal from adultery. That can not only be confusing it can make it more difficult. We have several recommendations on our website at Hope & Healing Ministries. hopeandhealingministries.us

We also have a free resource available that might be a good place to start. The Crisis Support Booklet offers ten foundational truths in bite-sized pieces about adultery recovery with encouragement from others who have walked this path. Go to the website, click “Couples Support”, click “Infidelity Recovery” and scroll down to “Crisis Support Booklet.” Each person will benefit from having their own copy.

Linda: Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers? 

Mona: There is so much more I wish I could share. So many have questions on forgiveness, trust and so much more. Unfortunately not all can be addressed here. But you can find answers that will aid your journey to healing.

Oswald Chambers says this. “It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials. Through every cloud He brings our way, He wants us to unlearn something”. I found this so true in the journey of our healing. I had some “unlearning” to do.

This healing journey is not easy but it is so worth it. Gary nor I are the same people we were before we went through the healing process to rebuild our marriage. And quite frankly, we’re glad. We like ourselves and each other a whole lot more.

You don’t have to go through this alone. There are resources out there to help you. We encourage you to seek and access the resources you need. May the Lord give you the wisdom and the strength to complete the journey.

Linda: Speaking of resources, how can your book Unfaithful help couples who decide they want to try to work through the healing after infidelity takes place in their marriage?

Mona: Our book, Unfaithful: Hope and Healing after Infidelity is written from the perspective of a couple who has been through adultery recovery. By switching back and forth between the perspective of the betrayer and the one betrayed, the book helps couples better understand each other’s experience as they move through the process of healing.

This book conveys some common elements of the healing process along with Biblical principles to help guide readers through recovery. There is also a section on emotional affairs. When the book was revised we were able to add a lot of what we’d learned from the experts and from the hundreds of couples we’ve been privileged to walk alongside. And at the end of each chapter we’ve included discussion questions that can be a great way to begin addressing the issues couples face as they work through their recovery.

Linda: I know in the past you’ve also had marriage intensives for couples after infidelity. Please tell us about them and what you’re doing currently.

Mona: We will always talk with and support couples as long as we’re breathing so we’re not quitting ministry, but we are making changes to the method in which we deliver it. We did Weekend Intensives from 2010 through 2019 and had basically decided to cease offering those when COVID hit. So we’re spending this time making videos of what we consider to be our most important sessions from those weekends. They are filmed and currently being edited so should be available within a few months. Gary just happens to be a professional audio video engineer so he’s just beginning the editing portion of this project. These will also be available on YouTube. We’ll be notifying those on our email list when they’re ready.

Linda: How can people find out more about you, your book Unfaithful, and your ministry?

Mona: People can reach out to us by going to our website, http://hopeandhealing.us.

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A Question about Judging Others

September 24, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm

Today I’m thinking. I’m not telling a story, and I’m not sure if I have a particular point to make. But I wanted to invite you into my reflections on a movie my husband and I recently watched. Maybe you have some thoughts you want to share on the subject too.  If so, I invite you to do so.

The movie we watched is “Green Book,” a true story about the relationship between a black concert pianist, Dr. Donald Shirley, and the rough and burly Italian driver he hired to drive him around the South for his performances back in the ’60s. His driver’s name was Tony Lip Vallelonga.

The movie was both eye-opening and thought provoking, providing a unique perspective of what it was like to be a black person in the South back in the early-middle part of the twentieth century and the humiliation so many of these people suffered simply because of the color of their skin. It is difficult for those of us of a different race to understand the humiliation they suffered simply because of the color of their skin.

But the movie went even deeper than that. When you peel away the layers of the story and the personalities involved, the significance and implications did not just revolve around race, but about the persona others see on the outside of a person versus the character within – whether that’s the skin color or the outer behavior and words.

The most obvious example of this was the refined, musical genius who happened to be black; but in a culture where people only saw the color of a person’s skin, the genius inside was invisible . . . until he was on the stage performing.

Then there were the refined and gentile concert goers who stood and gave the man a standing ovation when he played the piano, but refused to let him eat with them at the same restaurant where he performed for them. The people were refined in their speech and manners, but their hearts were toughened by their prejudices and lack of deeper insight.

And finally, the crusty, tough, rough-mannered Italian driver whose language and mannerisms were boorish and rude, but whose character and candor revealed an inner integrity and a kind and caring heart.

It made me wonder about the way we see people, the way we judge people. Do we judge people because of their skin color, their mannerisms, their dress, their speech, their age, their position in life?

I wonder how many of us mistakenly allow what we see on the outside to define what’s on the inside.  Or perhaps we let negative experiences make us cynical so we expect certain behaviors from people who look a certain way.

Do we sometimes judge someone for their crusty exterior only to discover at a later time they actually have a soft and giving heart? Tony, the Italian driver, was tough and crude on the outside, but his inner sensitivities gave him the ability to peel away the outer persona to find the real person of character within. I’ve seen some people like this – rough and even rude on the outside sometimes, but ready to jump in and help someone in trouble. They may be the first ones to stop and help someone with a flat tire on the highway while the “refined” drive on by.

Do we at other times believe someone is good and kind because of their smooth talk and pleasant face, but later hear cruel and cutting words, witness hypocritical attitudes, or discover dishonest manipulations happening when no one is looking?

And yet, many other times people are exactly what they appear to be on the outside. A refined, gracious person really is kind and sincere. A rough person actually is mean and thoughtless.

How do we discern? Or can we?

Maybe that’s why Jesus tells us not to judge. Often we only see the outer persona and miss the inner person inside with their longings, sin, and motivations, warts, and beauty. Only God sees the inner person. Only He knows their heart and motivations. When we try to judge people, we can easily miss the mark.

But Jesus also told us to love our neighbor. And He wasn’t just talking about the person we’d like to sit and have coffee with. Yes, He wants us to love that person too. But in His story about the good Samaritan, He made it clear He was talking about anyone who needs our love and care. And that is pretty much all of us, I guess. We all need love. We all need respect. And we all need grace –regardless of what we look like on the outside—or even how we behave and act. We all need the love of Jesus.

And as Christians, I guess that’s what we need to do—to do what Jesus told us to do – to love others, regardless of what we see on the exterior. If we could all really do that, it would be a wonderful world, wouldn’t it?

And if our world would learn what Jesus was trying to tell us, it would be even better.

Those are just my thoughts. What do you think?

 

Check out my books on marriage – Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

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Wounded Women of the Bible, Finding Hope When It Hurts – Interview with co-author Tina Samples

July 16, 2020 by 3 Comments

Today I’m happy to be interviewing Tina Samples, co-author of Wounded Women of the Bible: Finding Hope When Life Hurts. In her book, Tina and co-author Dena Dyer share stories of hope from both the Bible and real life, which I think will encourage many of you. Tina is a Colorado-based writer, speaker, and worship leader, who serves alongside her husband Dave, the pastor of Grace River Church in Windsor, Colorado.

 Linda: Tina, tell me what prompted the writing of this book?

Tina: As a pastor’s wife, I minister to many hurting and wounded women. I started meeting with four women who were having extreme difficulties in their marriage. After our first meeting, I left wishing there was some kind of study I could use to help these women through their crises and suffering. A few days later I awoke with my name being called. “Tina!” The clock read 3:00am. Thinking perhaps my son was calling for me, I listened.  But I did not hear my son. Instead, I heard, “Tina, women in the Bible who have been wounded.” I asked the Lord if I should write about that and in my spirit heard him say yes. I then began the process of researching women in the Bible who were wounded. I had no idea the project would turn into anything more. Later on, I realized this project was bigger than me and asked my wonderful friend Dena Dyer, if she would like to help write the book. I’m so glad she agreed.

Linda:  The premise of Wounded Women of the Bible is that women today are not alone: women all around them, and women in the past (in the Bible), have experienced the same difficulties. What are some of the stories from Wounded Women of the Bible?

Tina: As we look through the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, we find many women who experienced deep pain in a variety of ways. In Wounded Women of the Bible, we look at these women’s lives. We touch on the two women in Solomon’s court and the battle of betraying a friend. We take a look at Abigail who seemed to have it all, yet behind closed doors lived with a mean and surly man. The readers will hear the desperation from the widow of Zarephath who struggled to make it through a famine. They will read about Jephthah and the wounding a father can place on their daughters. This book touches on wounded relationships and women who suffered through infertility. We read Jochebed’s story of having to release a child. And then there is Dinah who was sexually violated. Women will be able to relate to so many women in this book because we’ve been through it ourselves.

Dena did a wonderful job interviewing women in today’s world who experienced similar wounds as the biblical women. Modern day women share their own stories of healing. Women will come away with a greater understanding that they are not alone in their quest to find freedom.

Linda:  Along those lines, what are some of the stories from your own past that are used in the book?

Tina:  I grew up in poverty. My father stumbled into a life of crime early on in his life. He was a non-believer and my mother was a believer. Through my mother’s influence, we came to know Christ. I share about my own sexual abuse as a child and how God helped me find forgiveness and freedom. I share about a great loss. My brother’s murder was horrific and difficult to overcome.

Dena also shares some of her own personal stories, struggles, wounds, and how God helped her walk through them. The book was difficult at times to write, yet cathartic and healing all at the same time.

Linda: What do readers need to keep in mind when reading Wounded Women of the Bible?

Tina: This book is meant to open eyes and bring insight to how biblical women faced similar wounds that we go through. Our prayer has been that through this book, women will come to face their own hidden wounds and find freedom once and for all. It’s easy for women to cover their pain and past wounds with a band aide, but God wants to take off these superficial fixes and bind the wound in His way. Psalm 147 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” The word binding means to wrap like a turban. Think of a cast. When someone has a broken leg, the doctor casts it so the break can heal. The Lord wants to do the same with our wounds. God wants to wrap them with His healing balm. The balm comes in the form of His words, scripture, Bible passages, walking with us while we work through our hurts, allowing God to love us through them, and receiving His help. We just need to allow God to rip away the band aide we’ve placed on the wound so He can truly heal what’s beneath.

Linda: Pain can be felt in so many ways: the death of a loved one, divorce, infertility, etc. How can one person’s pain help another person if they did not experience the same thing?

Tina: We may not be able to relate to every person’s story but there is one thing we can relate to: the wound. I’ve never met a woman who hasn’t been wounded in some way or another. We can empathize with others by reminding ourselves of the pain we once experienced and how God brought us through that situation. Pain is pain. We can choose to walk through life with other hurting women. So often we have a difficult time doing that due to our own wounds. But when we find freedom – we have the power to minister in ways we never dreamed possible.

Linda:  On your webpage, you have something called the “Wounded Women Pledge.” I have a feeling there might be a story behind this.  Can you tell us the reason for this?”

Tina:  At our previous church, I was wounded by someone close to me. As the pastor’s wife, I found that many women had a difficult time reaching out to me. Many of my friends turned away. I felt abandoned and alone. For some reason women often have a difficult time walking with other hurting women. We judge and turn away too easily. Perhaps the wound gets a little too close to the woman who never fully dealt with her own wound. I’ve heard sad stories from women losing longtime friends because they divorced due to abusive relationships or from infidelity. Those women could not walk with them through their grief or through God restoring them due to sin.  It truly is time to stand up and walk with one another as Christ would have done for us had He been here in the flesh – and continues to do in the Spirit. I encourage readers to take the pledge and decide to walk with wounded and hurting women.”

Linda: What are one or two major points that you would like your readers to take away?

Tina: God is never far away and though it may feel like it, He never gives up on us. His passion is to bring hope and healing into our lives so that we can live life abundantly. There is hope. We never walk alone. Freedom awaits. We just meed to step into it.

I also want readers to find out about other ways to minister to hurting women by taking the Wounded Women Pledge to walk with wounded and hurting women. Also, they can connect with Blogs for the Healing on my webpage @ www.tinasamples.com.

Linda:  Where can readers find out more about your book?

Tina: You can find Wounded Women of the Bible on Amazon,  on my website at https://www.tinasamples.com/ or any other bookstore.

 

 

 

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Sifting Our Hearts in Times of Turmoil

June 10, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Aaron Burden

When troubling times come to our nation, I can’t help wondering what God is doing. In these situations, my mind often drifts to some thought-provoking words in the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.” The words were penned during the Civil War by Julia Ward Howe who was an abolitionist. Stanza 4 declares:  “He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat. Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

As I look at what has been happening in our country during the last couple of weeks – the angst and pain, the mayhem and anger, I hear those words in my head “He is sifting out the hearts of men . . . .” and I wonder.

Is that what God is doing? Is He sifting our hearts? And are we listening? Are we listening to what God is saying to us during these times?

What is God Saying to Us?

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”  And Proverbs 21:2 pushes the point even further by convicting us of our own stubbornness. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

It’s the human condition. We are fallen creatures. And unfortunately we often seem to need a time of tribulation for God to get our attention. We see this stated again and again throughout scripture. Proverbs 17:3 compares the testing of our hearts to the refining of gold and silver. “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold. But the Lord tests the heart.”

We have been in the refining pot of late. We may even feel like we’ve been in the furnace. First, during this pandemic, and now in the frightful aftermath of the injustice witnessed in the cruel death of an innocent man.

And I believe God is getting our attention.

In the shock and dismay I see around this land, I see walls crumbling – people who have stood on different sides of the divide – suddenly expressing a new understanding. Hearts are opening in the midst of God’s refining fire. And perhaps this is what God wants to do with us as a people—to sift out the hearts of men before his judgment seat so we can see one another through His eyes. For I believe before the wrongs of our society can be changed, our hearts must change first.

A Demonstration of God’s Healing Love

At Faith Assembly of God in Orlando last Sunday morning, I witnessed a beautiful example of what we as Christians can do to come together with those of other races.

Toward the end of the service, Pastor Carl Stephens (who is white) called a young black man to the stage, who told his story of growing up in a small Georgia town, where he was snubbed and subjected to a steady diet of racial slurs, indignities, and shame throughout his young life. Although he was initially taught to hate those who hated him, some white people who looked past his color to value him as a person opened his heart to another way. One of these was a police officer. But the true answer for racial harmony, he said, lies in hearts being changed by Jesus Christ.

His story was sobering, but what followed touched me more deeply than I can describe.

Pastor Stephens lead him to a chair, knelt, and took a basin of water with which he washed the young black man’s feet. As he did so he spoke about Jesus’ love and Jesus’ example to us of how to serve one another with humility and love.  During those few moments, I know many tears were shed throughout the congregation as we watched this beautiful demonstration of the love of Jesus. It was a time of humility and healing.

The healing that occurred in this church where there is an even mix of races—black, white and Hispanic—was a powerful expression of what we as Christians can do when we allow God’s Word to penetrate our hearts.

Somehow this hit me more acutely than ever before in a way that humbled me as a white woman. I saw the pain and fear that many black people must endure in their daily life. And I couldn’t help thinking: perhaps this is the answer—Christians of all colors and races coming together in the humility of washing each other’s feet.

We are called as Christians to love one another, to serve one another, to have compassion for one another, Colossians 3:12 says, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.”

Correcting the injustices and ills of our society needs to begin with changing the hearts of its people, and the greatest changer of hearts is Jesus Christ. If each of us searches our own hearts, if we allow the love of Jesus to sift through any insensitivities or wrong thinking we have clung to, perhaps we will begin to see the healing of our nation.

“Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

 

You can read more about the origins of The Battle Hymn of the Republic here.

Read the story of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet here: John 13:1-17

 

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Reclaimed, Finding Your Identity after Marital Betrayal, an Interview with Author Stephanie Broersma

February 18, 2020 by Leave a Comment

The pain of infidelity is perhaps the most excruciating a married person can experience. For Stephanie Broersma, it shook her world and sent her on a heartrending journey she never expected. But Stephanie found healing.

In a powerful new book, Reclaimed, Finding Your Identity After Marital Betrayal, Stephanie shares that journey with incredible honesty and vulnerability in what she hopes for the reader can be a 30-day personal journey toward healing. If you have experienced this kind of betrayal, you can walk with Stephanie on this journey as she shares from her heart how God took her from the pain of revelation about her husband’s infidelity onto a path of restoration. In my interview with her this week, you will catch a glimpse of her heart as we talk about her new book. 

Linda: Because of your experience with your husband’s infidelity, you have started Reclaimed Ministry to walk women through their season of brokenness. Your stated goal is to support women with authentic tools and scripture-based guidance that supports them and meets them exactly where they are. You claim that there is healing from infidelity in marriage. How did you find healing from your pain?

 Stephanie: I was extremely intentional when I approached healing but more importantly, I gave myself time to pause and pray. It was easy to respond immediately to the raging emotions I felt post confession so trying to have eyes of grace, humility and forgiveness became the lens I saw life through.

With any serious injury, there is a period when the open wound needs around-the-clock care, but, over time, the need to change the dressings and keep 24 hour watch lessens. My life was consumed with all things healing. I read books, met with mentors, had people daily checking in with me for accountability and emotional support. Eventually, Tim and I began dating again and attempted to rebuild our broken marriage.

So, if you needed a “simple” answer to the question, I’d say I faced the pain head on and understood that to best heal, I needed to clean all the areas of the exposed wound regardless how bad it was going to hurt.

It’s been ten years since confession and there are still moments where Tim and I are learning new things about ourselves and us as a couple. Healing has now turned into growth, and one should never stop growing. 

 Linda: What was your biggest hurdle in writing Reclaimed?

 Stephanie: The biggest hurdle in writing Reclaimed was myself. The self doubt of every word not being good enough for any reader weighed heavy on me. There was fear of what people might think about the details shared and the horror of family members reading the intimate parts of our healing journey. But in the end, the enemy lost and victory has been God’s as testimonies from women share about lives being changed, how my words gave them a voice and the simple thing of being seen has changed how women approach their betrayal journey. Success came when I got out of the way and let God do what He’s planned from the start when Tim and I said yes to sharing. From there, it’s been a humbling road to walk as we hear daily how Reclaimed has given people hope to keep fighting, to move forward and to know that they are loved by a King regardless of the outcome.

Linda: Tell us about the Biblical truth that inspired this book about healing from infidelity. 

Stephanie: The most impactful Biblical truth I’ve learned as I wrote Reclaimed was by far the concept of forgiveness. This began weeks after my husband’s confession and has been the most challenging idea to embrace for myself. We often say to others we forgive them, but how often do you forgive yourself? I said those words to Tim but believing them for me was much harder. I struggled to forgive myself for thinking I allowed this sin to enter our marriage and to have grace towards myself when I couldn’t get over the pain it caused. Over the years of healing and ministry now, I’ve seen this play out in many different situations in my life. Forgiving myself for having a bad day as a parent, not being fully present for my spouse in conversations or for not achieving all the expectations I’ve placed in my own life has proven to be hard. Realizing that forgiveness is not so much for the other person but rather for me, has been a game changer in my life.

Another huge Biblical truth I’ve learned since confession has been living out my identity in Christ. This by far has changed my lens on life, knowing that I am God’s child. The comparison to the pornographic images or trying to be someone I was not, wrecked me. For the longest time, I believed I was the reason my husband stepped outside the marriage; things I was not caused him to look elsewhere. I know now, that nothing about me caused the initial sin. Often, this becomes one of the hardest challenges brides face post discovery or confession. If you don’t know who you are in Christ, then your faith is crippled, allowing the enemy to steal your joy and identity in Christ.

Linda: What is your prayer for your readers as they dive into Reclaimed? What is your goal in sharing? 

Stephanie: My prayer for every reader is that, they too, would embrace the truth of being a child of God. That they would have the discipline to silence the lies of the enemy as they seek healing for their own hearts. A discipline of keeping their eyes on Jesus, the vertical relationship, and allowing God to work through every step of the process. My heart passion is for women to walk forward in wholeness as they seek hope. A bracelet I wear often reminds me of the purpose behind sharing. It says: “I want to inspire people… I want someone to look at me and say, “Because of you, I didn’t give up.”

I didn’t set out to reach the masses; my goal was to reach one heart and make a difference in that Individual’s life. I felt extremely isolated in my journey and I never want a bride to feel that as she pursues her own healing. And perhaps, with the courage it took to share, one other person will have the courage to not give up and believe that hope is possible.

“Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.” Psalm 66:16

I pray for the broken bride who is challenged today to seek God’s beautiful blessings in the middle of her mess. I pray that she would live boldly in the authority she has as a child of God and to feel strength to seek greater healing.

You can find out more about Stephanie’s book, Reclaimed, at https://reclaimedministry.com/ and read more about Stephanie’s everyday life at www.thebroersmafive.blogspot.com

 

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The Power of Forgiving the Unforgivable

August 21, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Guest post by Andrea Chatelain

The situation was out of my control as I watched people I love stung by betrayal.

With anger, sadness, and hope all fighting for my attention, my emotions swung back and forth to become a bitter weapon at one moment or a peaceful salve at another. I felt useless—until I realized the healing power I possessed, but was holding back: undeserved forgiveness.

When the people I love are hurt, my first reaction is sometimes to speak and act out of my emotion rather than my faith. But as I recently navigated relational pain, God pushed me to remember my story—how He pursued me. He used some of my darkest moments for my good, to bring me closer to Him in faith. And if it’s true for me, it’s true for those who’ve hurt me too.

Jesus taught and modeled some hard lessons to swallow. Love your enemy. Be peacemakers. Pursue mercy. Forgive because your Heavenly Father has forgiven you. These commands all sound good, until you have to put them into practice. If you’re like me, your heart sends out condemning messages instead like, You hurt me! You don’t deserve my forgiveness! How could you do that? That was wrong.

That’s why I need the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts. I have to check in with truth in Scripture of what I’ve freely received from God and never deserved.

Like this…

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:1-3 ESV).

That Scripture challenges me to ask, what do I get from knowing Jesus? And do others receive the overflow from me?

I think of how He’s comforted and encouraged me through depression and anxiety. How in Him I found mercy and unconditional love in spite of my rebellion. As I reflected on times I screwed up big or small, hurt others, or acted foolish and sinful, I map out evidence that God pursued me in my pits. It’s the jolt of reality I need to help me forgive others well.

God grew a beautiful faith out of my blunders. Knowing He loved me despite my imperfection, switches my mindset towards others who outwardly offend. God’s actively redeeming their story too. No matter how far they’ve gone.

So when my thoughts want to condemn the people who feel like my enemy, the Holy Spirit counters saying, Who are you to stand in my way of redeeming my people? I bought you back when you were a sinner. And I’m on a mission to free them too. You get to choose what role you want to play. You can be a mirror of the undeserved life-giving forgiveness that I extended to you, or you can harbor bitterness that leads them farther away.

 We forgive because we’ve been forgiven. But we also forgive because we know that knowing Jesus is the only way for our enemies to change. It’s a springboard for God to do His redemptive work in their lives.

 Paul urges this, saying, “For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Corinthians 2:6-8 ESV).

I’ve seen people punished by the majority for their sins. And at times, I wanted to heap coals on the fire too. But God calls us to be a different kind of firelight.

When we choose the harder way of forgiveness, Paul says we save that person from excessive sorrow and we bring them back into love. It’s a beautiful picture of the gospel. The person will never forget it. And you can be sure God will use your faithfulness for His glory and your good.

What have you received freely from Christ? When have you felt His comfort, love, and mercy? When have you needed forgiveness? Reach out, reaffirm your brotherly or sisterly love for someone who perhaps doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Pray that God uses your obedience to help that person experience God’s love in a big way. And trust that He is actively working in their story just like He redeemed yours.

About the Author

Andrea Chatelain’s mission is to meet those who are struggling and love them forward with God’s truth. She’s a Midwest mom of three, faith and family writer at A Fruitful Woman, writer/speaker for WhollyLoved Ministries, and college English instructor to immigrants and refugees. She believes God is still in the business of restoring and redeeming His people, and she loves connecting with others to remind them of God’s love.

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