Sometimes We Just Feel Weary

Guest Post by Kathy Collard Miller

Photo by Nik Shuliahin

Aren’t we all feeling weary? We’re wondering when will this COVID crisis end and we can resume our “new normal”? For most of us we are already thinking of the restaurant we’ll go to or what needs to be repaired. In all of this craziness we can be assured God hasn’t been blind or unhearing about our weariness and how we’re wondering how God fits into it all.

In fact, he comes straight out in the Bible and asks, “How have I wearied you?” Let’s look into the insights we can gain from that verse in Micah 6:3.

Even if we’re not weighed down by the Covid crisis, even when we are convinced God’s plan is His will for us, we still can feel weary. When the Israelites were complaining about God’s plan for them, He questioned them through the prophet Micah, “How have I wearied you?” (Micah 6:3 ESV).

We don’t know Micah’s tone of voice when he communicated God’s message to the people, but I wonder if he mimicked the people’s tone. If so, it would have been a whine.

When I, Kathy, grumble, I am like the Israelites in my complaint, God has done me wrong. I’m believing the lie God doesn’t know what He’s doing, and He will abandon me. He is giving me more than He is capable of empowering me to handle.

That was especially true when Larry’s mother, Audrey, lived with us. When it was clear Audrey could no longer live on her own, I felt dejected, knowing the only option was caring for her in our home. I sat on the patio, looking out at the setting sun. I felt like my life had just set. My life is gone. My life is ruined. I felt hopeless and helpless to battle against God’s will or believe He could help me win the battle. What will become of me?

My husband, Larry, also struggled with discontent. As time went along and his mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, which includes paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, he described feeling weary, as if he was being swallowed up by the endless needs of a demented woman who accused him of trying to kill her. Audrey ended up denying Larry was even her son.

We should have listened to what God says as he continues talking to the Israelites through Micah,

“For I brought you up from the land of Egypt

and redeemed you from the house of slavery,

and I sent before you Moses,

Aaron, and Miriam” (Micah 6:4).

He encourages them to remember all the times and ways He has provided for them in the past. And if He cared in the past, He would provide again and again and again.

Just as God had an answer for the complaining Israelites, Larry and I turned more and more to God’s answers and strength to combat our weariness. Day by day we remembered God’s faithful provision in the past when He healed our marriage and used our story to encourage others as we spoke at marriage retreats. We leaned on him asking for His power and guidance for Audrey’s care.

When we fell back into a weary whining, God’s words through Micah spoke to us, “How have I wearied you? Don’t I have the right to do anything I want with my servants—you? I’m empowering you and changing you. Trust me.”

We were humbled because we saw our complaints as what they really were: rebellion against the loving hand of God. God’s joy, freedom, and surrender were available to us. We could trust He was the same God who provided in the past and would strengthen us again and again. Plus, we discovered greater joy in each other as we united to serve a mentally ill woman.

After two-and-a-half years of living in our home, when Audrey joined Jesus in heaven, the Lord whispered in our hearts, “Well done, good and faithful servants.” He was the faithful one and deserved the credit, even to overcome our weary feelings.

Why do you think it’s difficult to remember God’s faithful past provision during a difficult challenge?

Think of a way God provided for you in the past which could encourage you in a current difficulty.

Faithful God, I praise you for your provision even though I am not faithful. Thank you for being willing to empower me by reminding me of the last time you provided more than I thought you could.

Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller have been married since 1970 and speak and write both separately and together. Their most recent book is God’s Intriguing Questions: 40 Old Testament Devotions Revealing God’s Nature (from which this post has been adapted). Kathy and Larry are parents, grandparents, lay-counselors and live in Southern California. They have spoken internationally and nationally. www.KathyCollardMiller.com

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The Power of Forgiving the Unforgivable

Guest post by Andrea Chatelain

The situation was out of my control as I watched people I love stung by betrayal.

With anger, sadness, and hope all fighting for my attention, my emotions swung back and forth to become a bitter weapon at one moment or a peaceful salve at another. I felt useless—until I realized the healing power I possessed, but was holding back: undeserved forgiveness.

When the people I love are hurt, my first reaction is sometimes to speak and act out of my emotion rather than my faith. But as I recently navigated relational pain, God pushed me to remember my story—how He pursued me. He used some of my darkest moments for my good, to bring me closer to Him in faith. And if it’s true for me, it’s true for those who’ve hurt me too.

Jesus taught and modeled some hard lessons to swallow. Love your enemy. Be peacemakers. Pursue mercy. Forgive because your Heavenly Father has forgiven you. These commands all sound good, until you have to put them into practice. If you’re like me, your heart sends out condemning messages instead like, You hurt me! You don’t deserve my forgiveness! How could you do that? That was wrong.

That’s why I need the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts. I have to check in with truth in Scripture of what I’ve freely received from God and never deserved.

Like this…

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:1-3 ESV).

That Scripture challenges me to ask, what do I get from knowing Jesus? And do others receive the overflow from me?

I think of how He’s comforted and encouraged me through depression and anxiety. How in Him I found mercy and unconditional love in spite of my rebellion. As I reflected on times I screwed up big or small, hurt others, or acted foolish and sinful, I map out evidence that God pursued me in my pits. It’s the jolt of reality I need to help me forgive others well.

God grew a beautiful faith out of my blunders. Knowing He loved me despite my imperfection, switches my mindset towards others who outwardly offend. God’s actively redeeming their story too. No matter how far they’ve gone.

So when my thoughts want to condemn the people who feel like my enemy, the Holy Spirit counters saying, Who are you to stand in my way of redeeming my people? I bought you back when you were a sinner. And I’m on a mission to free them too. You get to choose what role you want to play. You can be a mirror of the undeserved life-giving forgiveness that I extended to you, or you can harbor bitterness that leads them farther away.

 We forgive because we’ve been forgiven. But we also forgive because we know that knowing Jesus is the only way for our enemies to change. It’s a springboard for God to do His redemptive work in their lives.

 Paul urges this, saying, “For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Corinthians 2:6-8 ESV).

I’ve seen people punished by the majority for their sins. And at times, I wanted to heap coals on the fire too. But God calls us to be a different kind of firelight.

When we choose the harder way of forgiveness, Paul says we save that person from excessive sorrow and we bring them back into love. It’s a beautiful picture of the gospel. The person will never forget it. And you can be sure God will use your faithfulness for His glory and your good.

What have you received freely from Christ? When have you felt His comfort, love, and mercy? When have you needed forgiveness? Reach out, reaffirm your brotherly or sisterly love for someone who perhaps doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Pray that God uses your obedience to help that person experience God’s love in a big way. And trust that He is actively working in their story just like He redeemed yours.

About the Author

Andrea Chatelain’s mission is to meet those who are struggling and love them forward with God’s truth. She’s a Midwest mom of three, faith and family writer at A Fruitful Woman, writer/speaker for WhollyLoved Ministries, and college English instructor to immigrants and refugees. She believes God is still in the business of restoring and redeeming His people, and she loves connecting with others to remind them of God’s love.

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The Prodigals We Love

WALKING-MALEA couple of weeks ago, while sitting in church, I began thinking about the prodigals in our lives, those who are lost and walking apart from God. So often, despite our love, despite our longing to reach out to them, we seem unable to reach them—unable to touch their hearts.

In the midst of my musings, words of scripture crept into my thoughts and I heard the mournful words of Jesus in my head. “Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.” (Matt 23:37.)

Through His words, I saw the grieving face of Jesus as he reached out to his people, only to be rejected, and I realized how thoroughly Jesus understands our pain. Even Jesus experienced the pain of rejection from those He loved, His chosen ones. Even Jesus—God Himself, could not force individuals to come to Him and return His love.

But rejection did not stop Jesus from loving. At the time he spoke these words, he stood in the temple courts, facing suspicious questions and doubting stares, knowing that in a few short days He would lay down His life for these very people who turned their backs on Him.

You hear the emotions in His words that day. He was angry at the Pharisees, sad at the deadness of their hearts, distressed that, despite the love of the Father, the people continued in their willfulness, each person headstrong to go his own way instead of following God.

But in spite of his disappointment, Jesus’ love pressed through to do the Father’s will. For not long after He spoke these words, He willingly died to save the lost, including the very ones who persecuted him.

God does not force His love on any of us, but wants each person to choose to come to Him. Lovingly he waits, ready to receive the repentant one He cherishes.

Although our hearts are heavy and our minds anxious for our prodigals’ return, we too must wait. Even though we long to reach out to them with love, often they are resistant. In fact, pursuing them may actually drive them further away.

Ultimately, the other person has to choose.

But that doesn’t mean we must stop loving. As followers of Christ we are called to love as Jesus loved.

For those prodigals in our lives, we cannot make them return to God or to us, but with a sacrificial love, we can seek God on their behalf through prayer. In spite of rejection, we can humble ourselves to speak words of encouragement instead of shame. And as we sit at the feet of our Father and pour over His words to us in the Bible, we can learn more about how to love with the love He gives to us.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

Jesus speaking in the temple: Matthew 23: 13-39

Story of the Prodigal son: Luke 15: 11-32 Luke 15: 11-32

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