Heavenly Headbutts: Reflections of Hope about Cats and Eternity: Author Interview with Allia Zobel Nolan

April 16, 2024 by Leave a Comment

Child doing a headbutt with a catWHEN I TRY TO PICTURE my husband entering Heaven, I imagine him surrounded by lots of family members and friends who’ve gone before as they greet him and welcome him to his new home. Occasionally, I also wonder if among the crowd there might be a rambunctious Akita, a fluffy, tail wagging Peek-a-poo, a white cat with the shape of a heart on his side, and 4 or 5 other kitties brushing against his leg.  Will our pets be in Heaven? In reading books on Heaven recently, I’ve seen that it’s a common question others ask as well.

In her new book, Reflections of Hope about Cats and Eternity, author Allia Zobel Nolan, gives us her perspective on the question. And she believes that, yes, they will be there – especially cats. So it was fun asking Allia about what she’s found on the subject.

Linda: You’re known for humorous books about cats, and Bible books for children.  So this is an interesting detour for you. What prompted you to tackle a book about cats and eternity?

Allia: I lost three cats in a row. So, naturally, I was devastated. I looked for some kind of book that might help me—a devotional, or some sort of prayer book. But most of what I found had stories of other people’s journeys with sick and dying cats. And at that point, I just really needed something a bit more comforting, uplifting. A book that would sooth me and give me hope.  So, since I couldn’t find it; I wrote it myself.

Linda: I can certainly relate to that. Writing a book that meets your own felt need is a great motivator for writing a book. What kind of research did you do and how did you decide upon the format?

Allia:   I knew I wanted this to be a gift book… as it’s the kind of book you underline and refer back to again and again. Still, although the subject is heavy, I didn’t want it to be all doom and gloom. I wanted this book to offer hope and expectation for all cat lovers. The whole purpose of the book is to posit the idea that the cats we share our lives with here on earth may very well be with us in eternity.

So I searched Scripture, and the writings of religious experts and theologians, such as C. S. Lewis, George MacDonald, the Pope, John Wesley, and others.  And I found quite a few of them had similar thoughts to mine. So I chose a couple of their hopeful affirmations and married them with soft, comforting, and sometimes humorous, but ever-so-relatable photos and included them, along with my own opinions throughout the book.  Heavenly Headbutts also contains sections of Scripture that, to my mind’s eye, back up and support the reasons why I believe we’ll see our beloved fur babies in Heaven.

Linda: I’ve seen a couple of your adorable cat pictures, and I’m sharing one here. Are there photos throughout this book about cats and eternity? How is the book laid out with photos and text?

orange cat staring at woman drinking coffee

Photos (c) Copyright Sutterstock

Allia: Well, after the manuscript was finished, I started to think about art. I decided today’s world is so attuned to photos, that I would use photos instead of having it illustrated by an artist. However, although I could find some photos that depicted what I had written, for example, the section on the Creation, that was the exception. I couldn’t find photos that specifically explained the text.  Also, the composition, photo styles, and lighting in the photos weren’t consistent. It wasn’t flowing and didn’t look right.

I took a step back at that point and determined that whatever I had written or quoted was about one thing: cats. So I really didn’t need to illustrate each section to the letter. I just needed to find a complimentary cat photo that would convey the meaning of what I was writing. So that’s what I did, and it all came together.  Then my friend and designer at Marypat Design interspersed the photos, the quotes, and the longer sections in a really loving and soothing way. She did an outstanding job.

Linda: Could you share with us a couple of quotes you found from notable Christian leaders that back you up on your theory that animals and even our pets might be in Heaven?

Allia: As for animals being in Heaven, Hank Hanegraff, the Bible Answer Man, asserts, “The Garden of Eden was populated by animals, thus there is a precedent for believing that Eden restored will be populated by animals.”

In terms of our pets being in Heaven, George MacDonald wrote: “What lovelier feature in the newness of the new earth, than the old animals glorified with us–in their home with us–their common home–the house of our Father–each kind an unfailing pleasure to the other. Ah, what horses. Ah, what dogs. Ah, what wild beasts and birds of the air. (Ah, what cats…my paraphrase). The whole redeemed creation goes to make up St. Paul’s Heaven.”

What’s more, Martin Luther says: “In Paradise, there was complete harmony between man and animals; one day that harmony will be restored, and all creation will be made anew.

Linda:  How long did it take you to put the book together?

Allia: Well, I had the idea for a book like this a while ago. Before I lost my cats. My agent shopped it around then. But some publishers are on the fence about the question of pets in heaven. And I acknowledge their belief; I just don’t agree. So, I put it away and took it out in earnest when my cats passed.

Linda:    Is Heavenly Headbutts only for people who’ve lost cats? Or is it for any cat lover?

Allia: I get this question quite a bit. Obviously, I wrote Heavenly Headbutts to comfort cat lovers who are grieving. But it’s also a book that’s helpful for anyone who is interested in learning more about the topic of cats and heaven.

Lovers of all kinds of pets will experience the passing of their fur baby at one time or another, and some will go through the process many times. So Heavenly Headbutts is meant to lay out what I found from my research of theologians and religious experts, as well as include my thoughts about it. And leave it to the reader to judge.

The book is also a way for anyone close to a person who has lost a cat to show their condolences by gifting the book to them.

Linda; What do you hope readers will get out of this book?

Allia:  For the grieving, I hope it offers comfort, hope, and expectation that they may very well be reunited with their fur babies in one form or another in the future.

I also hope it helps them step out of their grief—even for just a minute—as   they pause to meditate on God, the afterlife,  the Scriptures, and their own beliefs.  As I mentioned, the book is not all sad reflection. Parts make you think, laugh, and learn, and are especially relatable to anyone who has ever lived with a cat

Lnda: Can you give some of the reasons you feel we’ll be reunited with our cats in eternity? And are there any scriptures that you can share? 

Allia: Well, there are no specific Scripture references that state equivocally: “You will meet up with your beloved cats in heaven.” However, a close reading of the
messages in the Bible, to my way of thinking, lead me to believe our cats’ story is not over—that they will be with us in heaven..

Here are a few things that made me form my opinion about cats and eternity:

  1. First of all there’s this scripture: “God’s plan for the world stands up, all his designs are made to last.” (Psalm 33:11 MSG.)
  2. God made animals first, so he must have had a plan for them.
  3. When God looked around after the creation, he said everything was “Good.” Not just 2-legged creatures were good, but everything was good. And God doesn’t change his mind.
  4. God told Adam to name the animals….I don’t believe he would have bothered if the animals were, indeed, temporary.
  5. God used animals for his purpose and as examples in stories in the Old Testament and New Testament, ants, birds, big fish, raven, talking donkey, fish with a coin, lost lamb, etc. So to my way of thinking, he was not going to use them then let just them evaporate into nothingness.
  6. God saved animals during the flood.
  7. Jesus was born in a stable surrounded by animals.
  8. Revelation reports animals in the throne room.

Linda: After all your research, can you equivocally say, “Yes, we will see our cats in heaven?”

Allia: Well, that’s something that will be a personal choice for people to make
after they read the book. My vote is a resounding YES.  But I’m not forcing my opinion on others. I’m not proselytizing. I’m presenting the evidence I found, (info people might not be familiar with) as well as my own thoughts.

Linda: Where can readers get Heavenly Headbutts: Reflections of Hope about Cats and Eternity?

Allia: Readers can purchase the book on Amazon where it is in print and on Kindle. Readers might also be interested in knowing  Heavenly Headbutts has received several major awards, including a Writer’s Digest Award for Self-Published Books in the category of Inspirational.

https://www.amazon.com/Heavenly-Headbutts-Reflections-about-Eternity/dp/B0BQY1N93Q

Linda: That’s wonderful. Congratulations. Do you have a current book project.

Allia: Yes, I have a children’s book from Kregel Children’s that is due out in August 2024, entitled Harriet Hurry-Up and the Oh-So-Slow Day. It’s about a little girl who can’t understand why days don’t move faster. But with her Gran’s help, this impatient little girl learns to trust God’s timing and find the blessings he puts in every day—if she can just slow down long enough to see them. It will be available for back-to-school reading anywhere that sells books.  For more information on my books, check my website: www.AlliaWrites.com

 

 

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My Husband’s Final Journey Home

January 24, 2024 by 5 Comments

sailboat on a journey far off at seaIT’S STRANGE HOW the journey of life moves us through various circumstances so that a story might impact us one way at one point in our life and as we turn a corner, it suddenly meets us once again to impact us in an entirely different way.

When I wrote Broken Heart on Hold, I tell the story of walking on the beach and envisioning what it would be like to take that walk into eternity at the end of my life, the sun streaming down upon me, the light guiding me home to be with Jesus. In Broken Heart on Hold, it was about how that walk would be  my own; no one would go with me, but the decisions I made in the pain of my circumstances could impact my eternal future. Would I walk toward Jesus or away from Him? Would I let bitterness engulf me or allow God to carve out a space in my heart for Him to dwell?

Today, I think of that story again because my husband has now made that final journey. He went to be with the Lord on December 13. It was his own walk into eternity. And no matter what had happened between us, how close we were or weren’t, he went alone. It was between him and God. It was heart-wrenching for me, but for him I imagine it was glorious.

I think back to that time when he and I were separated, when life was in chaos, when the decisions each of us made not only affected the relationship between us, but also the relationship each of us had with God. It was a painful time, but I thank God that the steps each of us made enabled us to emerge from those circumstances, tasting a victory that drew us closer to God and each other.

Now he is home with Jesus. Although we walked together for another 25 years after we restored our marriage, I couldn’t be with him on that final journey. It was his alone. And I try to picture it in my mind. His meeting Jesus. That moment of jubilation when the earthly cares of this world were fading behind and the glory stretched out before him. His last days were hard, but they were permeated with the sweetness of God as I saw his heart swell more and more with an expanding tenderness and love for others. The last words he struggled to say to me before he was no longer able to communicate were, “I love you.”

He fought the good fight. He finished the race. He kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7) I will miss him terribly, but I know he is safe in the arms of Jesus and one day I will see him again.

Marvin Rooks passed into the arms of Jesus on December 13, 2023, leaving behind his wife Linda, daughters Julie and Laura and 5 grandchildren. Marv’s optimism, enthusiasm, sense of humor and dedication to family and friends will be greatly missed by the many people who loved him. (You can read his official obituary here:

The story referred to above can be found on Page 136 of my book, Broken Heart on Hold, a book that has encouraged many people during a time of marital upheaval.

To my subscribers: Because of what I’ve written here about my husband’s final journey home, I’m sure you now understand why my blog posts have lately been infrequent. My heart is heavy even as I write this. It’s hard to see the reality in print. As I reflect on this new season of my life, don’t be surprised if future posts contain bits of reflection on how losing a spouse can affect a person’s perspective on marital situations in the past. Thank you for your prayers as I begin this new journey.

My husband on his final journey home

 

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How Much God Loves You!

September 6, 2023 by 2 Comments

Love Heart in SandSOMETIMES, AS AN AUTHOR, it amazes me to see just how much God loves you, my reader, and how far He’ll go to demonstrate that love for you as your broken heart cries out to Him and hangs on the precipice of hopelessness. There have been times, in fact, when He has gone to great lengths to show me just how much He loves each of you individually.

A Question from Africa

One of the most dramatic evidences of this happened a while back when I received an email from a woman in Africa who was separated from her husband and expressed the need for a friend in Christ. She found me on the web. Wanting to read Broken Heart on Hold, she asked how she could buy it there in South Africa.

I emailed my publisher, asking if they knew where my book could be found in that remote part of the world, but they were unable to find an answer for me.

A couple of weeks later, I experienced problems with my Amazon account, where people often buy Broken Heart on Hold, and I was forced to contact customer service to resolve it.  Technological problems typically drive me a little bit crazy so I wasn’t exactly a happy camper having to spend a lot of time on this. The woman I reached for the tech help was very polite and helpful but couldn’t immediately find the answer to the problem either, so as we waited and she tried different options, we began to chat.  She checked out my Amazon page and saw the title of my book, then asked me more about it.  As we talked and she made some positive observations about the title and subject and the enormous need for it, I began to realize that this woman was a Christian.  I asked her where she lived, and when she answered, I got goose bumps.

“South Africa,” she said.

South Africa!

 Immediately, the Holy Spirit connected the dots in my mind. The country from which I’d received the email where the woman was trying to find my book.  I couldn’t remember ever talking to someone from South Africa on the phone before. But now! Today! Two weeks after receiving that email . . . .

Was this God?

Connecting Across the World

While my customer service rep, who lived in South Africa, continued to check out various options and reach out to other tech operators for support, we continued to wait together on the phone. Since I had now confirmed that this woman was a Christian who was sympathetic to the needs of my readers, I told her about the woman who’d emailed me.

“Since you’re obviously proficient with computers, would you know how to look for Broken Heart on Hold to see if it’s available some place in South Africa?” I asked.

Immediately, she began doing a search on her end and in a few minutes produced the name of an online bookstore in South Africa that carried Broken Heart on Hold.

I was astounded—amazed. God had used my technological problems to answer a heartfelt need from one of my readers. Who would have thought my annoying techie issues would result in an answer to someone’s prayer?

How Much God Loves You

And that’s when I realized just exactly how much God loves YOU! You’re not just another person whose marriage is in trouble. You’re not just another woman in despair. You’re not just another man who has lost his way. You are uniquely His and you are uniquely loved in a very special way.

“In Ephesians, Paul yearned for God’s people to understand the depth of God’s love when he prayed, “I ask [the Father] that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:19 – The Message)

Each of you travel your own individual journeys during these difficult times in your lives. Your needs are personal. You don’t fit a generic mold.  But God loves each of you in a completely individual way and comes to you on a specific time table, a specific path, and uses a specific approach to show you His love and His glory. He does not forsake you. God loves you. And He uses the entire resources of the universe to meet your needs in whatever way He deems appropriate for you personally.

 “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”  (Matthew 6: 26-27)

“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3

Oh, God, how good you are! How infinitely creative, powerful and clever to tap into my frustration with techie stuff, connect me across the world, and navigate the world’s resources to put me in touch with a Christian in South Africa who could find this book for a woman in desperate need. Lord, thank you for your amazing love!

 

If you are looking for hope and haven’t yet read Broken Heart on Hold, you can find it on Amazon. Or if you’re trying now to put all the pieces together in practical ways to find answers for restoration, you might want to check out my second book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

 

 

 

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Because He Created Us

August 21, 2023 by Leave a Comment

2009-2010 863Sometimes we feel we must earn the love we get

 SITTING ON THE PATIO, I watched my dog Katie as she settled down into a patch of sunshine on the lawn.  She lifted her head and sniffed at the air, then rested her chin on one paw and closed her eyes. With one ear drooping in characteristic fashion and the sun gleaming on her red coat, she looked wonderfully content.

As I studied her, just laying there, no care in the world, I thought about how she served no real purpose in life. She was a sweet dog, but what did her life accomplish?

She was a life created by God simply because He decided He would create a demure, mild-tempered, but slightly neurotic dog with one floppy ear and one upright ear, who loved sniffing out as many smells as she could. God created Katie because He delighted in doing so—and He enjoyed her because she was his creation, just as he enjoyed the other living things he created. They may serve no deep purpose in the world, but if not, they weren’t meant to. They simply exist because they are God’s creation, and God enjoys His creations.

God’s delight in what He created is evident beginning in Genesis where it says: “God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:25)

“It was good.”  God loves his creation.  Like the saying goes, “God doesn’t make no junk.”

As I continued watching Katie and contemplated this simple truth, I thought about myself and how I tend to feel that to be loved I must do something, I must perform, I must earn love.

And I realized this was just not true.

God loves us purely because we are His creation. God loves me simply because I am His. God loves you simply because YOU are His—not because of anything you have done or anything I have done or will do.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love” God declares in Jeremiah 31: 3

And the Psalmist says, “For the Lord takes delight in his people” (Psalm 149:4)

Over and over in the scriptures, we read of God’s love for us—His delight in us—even when we fail Him, even when we’re weak.

“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 36:7)

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”  (Zephaniah 3:17)

I imagine many times you probably feel like I did—that you must earn love, that you are unworthy of love unless you do something significant.  If so, take a minute to bask in the sunshine of God’s unfailing and everlasting love. Turn your eyes to heaven, and your heart to the One who delights in you simply because you are His. Enjoy loving the true lover of your soul.

He doesn’t love us because we perform.  He doesn’t stop loving us when we do something wrong.  He just loves us.  We are his creation.

 

If you feel like you must “earn” love from those around you to feel valued–particularly from a spouse, I encourage you to check out my book, Broken Heart on Hold. It will become a friend to you that lifts your heart to God so you can wrap yourself in His unfailing and everlasting love.

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When Opposites Marry . . .

July 7, 2022 by Leave a Comment
Orange and blue pencils on opposite backgrounds

Photo by Alice Yamamura

Guest Post by Karin Beery

Opposites attract. For proof of that, let me introduce you to my husband and me. Born in the same year and in the same state, we’re both the middle of three children with dads named Tom. After that, it’s hard to find similarities.

Matt’s an avid outdoorsman—he once spent an entire summer living in a tent in the woods. He’d go to work every day, then go back to the woods at night. His dream vacation is exploring the Alaskan wilderness. I don’t know that he’s ever finished reading a book. And when he’s exhausted, he wants to recharge his mental and emotional batteries by himself with nothing but his podcasts and LEGO.

I’d like the outdoors more if there weren’t any mosquitos (apparently I’m delicious). My dream vacation is any tropical beach anywhere in the world. I’m on track to read 150 books in 2022. And when I’m exhausted, there’s nothing better than hanging out with a group of people, especially if there’s food involved.

Matt and I knew we were opposites when we met. That’s one of the things that attracted us to each other. But despite our differences, we agreed on one crucial thing—we had to pray and know that God wanted us together before we would consider dating.

We prayed. We had peace. We got engaged (it was about that fast; he asked three months after we met).

Opposites attract, but unlike magnets, the pull between people doesn’t always last. Though we had peace from God that our union was His plan, we spent the next five months planning—and fighting about—our wedding and future. It came to a glorious, heart-breaking head two weeks before our wedding, during our last marriage counseling session with our pastor. I don’t remember why I was upset or what had happened, but I’ll never forget my pastor’s words:

“People will understand if you want to call off the wedding.”

Talk about a gut punch.

Picture of author Karin Beery

Author, Karin Beery

Nothing in me wanted to call off the wedding, but I knew something was wrong if our pastor could so easily suggest canceling it. I told him canceling was not an option, so he had to give us something else. There had to be another way.

“Get your eyes off each other and back onto God.”

He illustrated that point with an analogy perfectly suited for my outdoor-loving husband: the bloodless tick. Ticks need hosts in order to survive; they latch onto animals or humans and feast. Humans are the same. We need God to survive. We need to latch onto Him and let Him feed us, spiritually and emotionally.

Imagine if two ticks latched onto each other. They would suck each other dry in an attempt to feed themselves. The same is true of people. When we latch onto each other, expecting another person to spiritually and emotionally satisfy us, we will eventually suck each other dry. But when we latch onto God—when we get our eyes off of each other and turn them back to our creator—we not only receive the nourishment we need, we also take our focus off of the problem and put it back on the solution.

My husband and I picked the second option.

We made it through the wedding, but that wasn’t the end of our struggles. It was the beginning…of butting heads, failing to meet expectations, being frustrated with each other. Of iron sharpening iron. But when things got really rough (bags packed and reservations made), we always remembered the bloodless ticks, and we shifted out focus back onto God.

We’ve now been happily married for ten years, married for a total of seventeen. I used to worry that that joke would offend people or paint us in an unflattering color, but I don’t ever want to sugar coat the hard work and determination that’s kept us together through all of this.

Yes, opposites attract, but that attraction doesn’t always last. Still, God can use that attraction to bring two people together, and when He does, He does it for a reason. If you’ve married your opposite and you keep your eyes on your differences, all you’ll ever see is each other’s differences. But if you’ll turn your eyes back to God, he can use those differences to not only keep you together but to help you grow in ways you never even imagined.

 

Girl with arms crossed standing in a fieldAuthor, Karin Beery writes contemporary stories with a healthy dose of romance. When she’s not writing fiction, she’s reading, editing, or teaching it. In her book, Avoiding Marriage, Jessica Miller has made a mess of her already confusing life. Now, she’s back in Boyne Heights, and she’s determined to fix her reputation, even if that means working for her ex-boyfriend and avoiding her grandmother’s attempts to find her a new one. https://www.amazon.com/Karin-Beery/e/B07HQ2GZQS

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You Are Beautiful

May 10, 2022 by 1 Comment
Beautiful sunset

Photo by Al Quino

SITTING ON THE DOCK of a lake one late afternoon, I was captivated by the sight of an exquisite sunset.  The colors melting into one another to illuminate the sky stirred the lonely places of my heart. My husband had left several months earlier. Now we were separated, and I had no idea whether we would ever be together again.

Although clouds had enveloped my soul moments before because of my circumstances, I now found myself praising God, thanking Him for this beautiful sunset and the opportunity for me to see it.

“But what if you didn’t see it?  Would the sunset still be as beautiful?” I felt the Spirit of God asking me.

“Yes,” I said, “it would still be just as beautiful.”

“And what if no one saw this sunset, would it still be just as beautiful?” “Yes,” I said, “it would still be just as beautiful.”

“And if I make a person beautiful, but no one loves them, are they still beautiful?”  God’s Spirit inquired.

“Yes” I said, “they would still be beautiful.”

“I made you beautiful…and I love you.  So if your husband does not see your beauty, does that mean you are not beautiful?  If he does not love you, does that mean you are not loved?”

“No,” I whispered.  “I do not need anyone else to love me or think I am beautiful.  You are enough, Lord. If you love me and think I am beautiful, then that is enough.’

“I loved you enough to die for you,” He said.  “I created you to be the unique person that you are.  You are beautiful.  I love you.”

At that I bowed my head in praise and worshipped Him in love.

Excerpted from Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation by Linda W. Rooks

If you need more hope and encouragement, you may find the hope you’re looking for in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. When facing the turmoil of a troublesome marriage, sometimes what we need most is a touch from God’s Spirit on our life so we can become stronger and more secure as we face each day.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Divorce, faith, Fear, Feeling unworthy, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, Knowing God, Lonliness, Love, Marital separation, Marriage problems, Pain, Praise, Rejection, Uncategorized, Waiting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What a Coffee Cup Taught Me About Love

April 4, 2022 by 1 Comment

Coffee Cup with the words of 1 Cornthians 13 about loveWhen you don’t feel loving, you never know what might put the love back in your heart . . . and in your marriage.

I awoke one morning not feeling very loving toward my husband at all. I was still  upset with him because of a conversation we’d had the previous evening.

At dinner, I had asked him to help me get some insurance papers off in the mail, but he seemed to ignore me. When I continued to prod him, he finally responded, but his answer felt rude and dismissive. The rest of the evening I avoided him by staying busy in the kitchen.

Now this morning my husband discovered a problem in his work and needed to resolve it. I could tell he wanted to talk to me about it, but I still felt hurt and annoyed over his attitude the night before.

I took a sip of coffee and looked down at the 1 Corinthians 13 love cup in my hands. My eyes immediately rested on a phrase inscribed on the side, which read, “Love endures all things.”

Humph. I don’t feel very loving . . .

But I knew what God was saying in this scripture and God wasn’t asking me how I felt.

God was just asking me to love. And my coffee cup was telling me that love “endures.”  In other words, love keeps loving even when it’s hard, even when you don’t feel like loving.

So even though the irritation still simmered inside me, I listened to my husband and responded. I was polite.

After we discussed his work situation, I glanced over at my husband and sighed.  “I’m still not very happy with you, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t feeling well last night and had so much on my mind. I thought you were referring to the medical insurance forms I’d received yesterday. I didn’t understand you were talking about the insurance for our trip.”

Oh my – miscommunication unmasked – a familiar and disturbing marital theme!

But God ripped away its destructive potential that morning with a gentle reminder. Our misunderstanding could have gone on for quite awhile with no resolution—except for my coffee cup reminding me about what it means to love and how you do it.

Which reminded me to pick up the Bible and read 1 Corinthians 13 again and think about whether or not I’m loving my husband God’s way—even when I feel offended.

By following God’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 13 about how to love, even when conflict arises we can work through the confusion that often threatens to divide husband and wife during confrontations and quarrels. When we are patient, we wait to hear what the other person has to say without judging. By being kind and gentle with our words, we show that we care and give the other person confidence that they are being heard. By rejoicing in truth, we work together as a team to find the best answer rather than merely insisting on our own way.

This familiar scripture tells us what to avoid as well for if we are boastful, conceited, or selfish when disagreements arise, we will pull further apart rather than finding resolution. When we get angry or begin bringing up past offenses, we muddy the waters, cause tensions to rise, and thrust what may have begun as a simple misunderstanding into thorny and dangerous new areas of offense.

But by protecting the hearts of one another, hoping to find resolution, trusting each other’s motives, and persevering until we come to an understanding, love can reign and hurts mended.

God can help steer us through many disagreements in the home when we follow the instructions He gives us in His Word, particularly when we don’t feel very loving. And sometimes it may help to start our day with the right kind of coffee cup.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV).

If your marriage is struggling and either you or your spouse don’t feel very loving but you don’t want to give up on your marriage, I invite you to check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. It might transform the way you think about the problems in your marriage.

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Filed Under: communication, Conflict, God's Word, How to win, Love, Marriage problems, Problems, Reconciliation, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Finding True Love on Valentine’s Day

February 2, 2022 by 2 Comments

FEBRUARY IS HERE. And so are thoughts about Valentine’s Day. Hearts and flowers decorate the stores. Heart-shaped boxes of chocolates greet us on our way in to shop for groceries. It’s the month of love.

It’s a happy time for some people. But for others, the coming of Valentine’s Day just magnifies the pain tugging at their hearts.  Focusing on “love” is the last thing they want to do.A purple heart says "love me" and pink flowers are nearby

If this is you, and your heart sinks with melancholy when you think about Valentine’s Day, turn your heart in another direction, where true love is encased in a reality beyond what you have ever known or will ever know in this world. If you do, the sorrow and disillusionment of Valentine’s Day may actually open your eyes to the most loving relationship you have ever known. Yes, you might find hope in an unexpected place.

If we look up instead of inward, if we chase away those fears of rejection by earthly lovers and instead embrace the true lover of our souls, we will rise above the failures and pain and begin to understand the true nature of love.

The author of love stands ready to enfold us in His arms. He is always ready to give and receive our love. And he will never leave us. His is the pure, unconditional love we long for, but will never find on this earth among fallen humankind.

Who else would pursue us through eternity to give us life by subjecting Himself to death?  Who else is so intent on giving us joy that He would take intense sorrow and pain upon Himself so we can enter into the wonder of an eternity with Him?  And our eternity can begin now in a loving relationship with Him as we trust Him and lean on Him and take His word into our hearts.

Paul pleads for us to understand this in his book to the Ephesians when he says:  “I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.”  (Ephesians 3:17-19 Living Bible)

Cling now to these words. Fill your minds up with this incredible truth. Open your heart to Paul’s prayer and accept God’s wondrous love that is meant for YOU.

“How long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is!”  How amazing!  How incomprehensible. Can you wrap your minds around it?  This Valentine’s Day meditate on these words.  Let God’s love embrace you. As I’ve heard my grandchildren say, It may be “the best Valentine’s Day ever.”

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

If your heart is hurting and Valentine’s Day just seems like one more painful thing to take in, the heart-warming words of my book, Broken Heart on Hold, may bring you the peace and loving God-connection you’re looking for.

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Filed Under: Depression, Desire, disappointment, Feeling unworthy, Hope, Lonliness, Love, Pain, Uncategorized, Valentine's Day Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Getting to Know God’s Heart—Interview with Patty Mason

November 8, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Book cover for Gettng to Know God's HeartIN ANY LOVE RELATIONSHIP, getting to know the other person’s heart draws us closer to them and creates a more intimate relationship. The same is true of God. If we know His heart, we will better understand what is important to Him. But how do we get to know God’s heart? In Getting to Know God’s Heart, author Patty Mason has created a beautiful Bible study that presents a seamless picture of God’s love as she weaves her own spiritual pilgrimage into the scriptural story of our heavenly Father’s love for us. Her Bible study invites the reader to personally experience God’s love in a more intimate way. Because of Patty’s warm and transparent style, this encouraging book is a resource I will regularly recommend to those going through troubling times.

Linda: Patty, what prompted you to begin seeking God’s heart?

 Patty: While battling depression, I watched a friend, who had more problems than I could count, go through life with joy. “How did she do it?” I wondered. How could she exhibit joy when she was left to care for her sick mother while her workaholic husband left her to raise four children on her own.

In comparison, my life was grand, yet she had peace and joy. God was her Rock, the one she clung to, and she spoke of Him with passion. God was not my favorite topic of conversation.

I could think of twenty other topics I would rather discuss. So I resisted, even though her enthusiasm for God caught my attention.

Linda: If her enthusiasm caught your attention, why did you hesitate? 

 Patty: Many things can keep us from wanting to know God.  I hesitated because I associated God with church and religion. To me church felt fickle and phony—reserved for the well-mannered, well-respected, and well-dressed. The church was not filled with people who knew how to love well, so I concluded God would treat me the way they did.

It’s sad to me now how we can embrace a false view of God based on how people treat us. God designed earthly relationships to serve as examples and reminders of His love for us, but if we’ve been harmed through human relationship, it can be difficult to receive God’s love.

When we’re going through something very hard, it’s easy to question God’s heart and begin to wonder, “Does God see? Does He even care?”

For thirty-six years, I had no idea how much God loved me and longed to have a relationship with me. I knew facts about God. I believed Jesus died on the cross, but I didn’t understand the depth of His love demonstrated upon that cross.

Linda: What led you to set aside your beliefs and seek God’s heart?

 Patty: Sheer desperation. I wanted the peace and joy my friend had, but until I became desperate, I wasn’t willing to pursue it. I needed healing. All the screaming, crying, and fits of rage were destroying my family and my life. Consuming alcohol to cope numbed the pain but fixed nothing. And when no one I turned to could help me, I was out of options.

I saw that amid her problems, my friend carried a joy and peace that was foreign to me. She seemed to know something I didn’t. So, when life became more than I could handle, I finally cried out to God.

Linda: What happened? How did God respond? 

 Patty: The day I was planning to take my life, God intervened. After years of battling depression, Jesus saved me, and His healing touch caused my heart to swing wide open. Suddenly, I wanted to know God. And this desire to know Him took me on a life-changing journey.

Linda: How did knowing God’s heart change your life?

 Patty: As a believer, I understood “how” God saved us, what I didn’t understand was “why” He saved us. In all those years of growing up in church, going through the motions of religion, I never saw the passion of God’s heart. I didn’t understand what He was after or how the healing balm of His love could set me free from deep wounds and rejection.

Getting to know God’s heart changed me because it changed my perspective of God, myself, and those around me. Seeing His heart for me filled me with a love for Him and others. As it says in 1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

Jesus came to set the captives free, and when we know God’s heart for us, that understanding can set us free from sin, wounds, addictions, temptations, and past hurts.

Linda: What led you to write Getting to Know God’s Heart? And what do you hope people will gain from reading it?

Patty: The one thing I want people to know is: The greatest desire of God’s heart is you! He longs for you. What He wants most is you—all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is what my friend knew about God. She knew she was passionately loved by the Almighty God of the Universe and that understanding awakened her soul. She knew, no matter what she faced in life, His heart was for her, and it gave her peace.

This is what my friend wanted for me. She wanted to help me recognize the one thing that would change my life—an awareness of God’s love. This is why I wrote the book, and what I want for those who read it to receive. Above all else, no matter who they are or what they are going through, God loves them passionately and cares about them deeply.

Linda: What made you decide to use a Bible study format rather than just a regular chapter book?

Patty: It’s vital we see God’s heart through His word, not through the commentary of the author.

Much of our inner pain comes from not knowing God. And I wanted the reader to have the thrill of discovering His heart for them through the intimacy of His word.

Linda: What would you say to someone who is having trouble receiving God’s heart for them?

 Patty: Perhaps, like me, you have experienced setbacks in your pursuit of God. But don’t allow those obstacles to define God’s character or your relationship with Him. Regardless of what has held you back, be encouraged. God’s unyielding love will not give up on you. He knows you. He sees you, and He will not stop in His relentless pursuit of you.

So, allow me to challenge you to let go of any pain, false beliefs, or expectations, and pursue the heart of God and allow Him to capture you with the wonders of His love.

This is a choice. You can hold onto grudges, bitterness, and hurt. You can keep your current perspective and remain stuck. You can continue to strive and struggle, convinced God is only interested in your performance. Or you can lay all that aside and discover a love so profound it will set you free, fill you with love, and give you identity and purpose.

Linda: Patty, thank you for writing this beautiful, life changing book. Where can people find out more about your book, Getting to Know God’s Heart as well as your ministry and other books?

 Patty: To learn more, they can visit www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com

I would also like to invite them to join me on our FB group Quick & Easy Bible Studies for Women at www.facebook.com/groups/quickandeasybiblestudies

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, disappointment, Doubt, Expectations, faith, God's goodness, God's Word, Interviews, Jesus, Knowing God, Love, Peace, Receiving Christ, Surrendering to God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Being a Diana in Someone’s Life

September 15, 2021 by Leave a Comment
A woman giving encouragement to another woman

Photo by Mimi Thian

THE HUSBAND OF one of my friends has been in the hospital with Covid for over a month. Thankfully, they are now seeing improvement, but the battle has been ongoing and extremely rough.

One week as I listened to my friend’s video on Facebook where she was giving updates on the struggles her husband was experiencing, I was touched by her description about the encouragement she was receiving from her faithful friend Diana who had been a rock for her over the past week. Diana prayed with her for one to two hours at a time, played praise music for her, listened to her, and was available continually. I could tell her encouragement that week was holding my friend together.

I was struck by the selflessness of her friend Diana and the unwavering support she offered as our mutual friend suffered through the discouragement of a negative prognosis from the doctors and little signs of improvement in her husband. Through it all, Diana did not get discouraged. She persevered in lifting up my friend and giving her hope. She reminded her of the faithfulness of Jesus as well as sending her scriptures, declaring “by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

Hearing her talk about Diana made me think about how we all need a Diana in our lives when we are going through difficult times. And how sometimes we can BE that Diana for others in their times of need.

God is with us. He is our strength and our salvation. He is our rock.  And although we know this and believe, our faith can sometimes waver and grow weak when faced with problems that appear impossible to overcome.

That is when we need someone to lean on. Someone whose faith can undergird our own and remind us there is indeed hope when we cry out to the Father who will never leave us, and whose love will always sustain us. In hard times we need someone with flesh on to give us support and remind us of that.

When I went through three years of separation from my husband, a couple of women came along side me to lean on when I grew weary.

And in the story of Moses, I think about Moses standing on top of a hill, holding up the staff in his hands to encourage the Israelite army below as they fought the Amalekites. The encouragement of his raised staff gave strength to the armies in the battle. But when Moses’ arms grew tired and he could no longer keep them lifted up, Aaron and Hur came to hold up his arms so he could continue to offer encouragement. As a result they won the battle, and those who offered encouragement made the difference (Exodus 17: 10-13).

God asks us to encourage each other. To love each other. To stand beside each other in difficult times so we have the strength to win our battles. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

My friend’s husband is now improving, and even the doctors are calling it a miracle. God is faithful in our times of need, but sometimes we need a friend to remind us of that so we have the strength to hold on to our loving Father whose strength and might can overcome the odds that seem so insurmountable in the natural world.

Do you need a Diana to stand by you now to offer encouragement?

And is there someone in distress you can be a Diana to right at this moment in time?

Ask God to show you the role He wants you to play in someone else’s life to offer encouragement

 

If you need a Diana in your life to walk with you through a time of marital brokenness or separation, let my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, be a friend to you in this time of need.

 

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Filed Under: Battles, comfort, Covid, Doubt, faith, Fear, friendship, health, Hope, Problems, Trusting God, weariness, Where is God?, Worry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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