Being a Diana in Someone’s Life

A woman giving encouragement to another woman

Photo by Mimi Thian

THE HUSBAND OF one of my friends has been in the hospital with Covid for over a month. Thankfully, they are now seeing improvement, but the battle has been ongoing and extremely rough.

One week as I listened to my friend’s video on Facebook where she was giving updates on the struggles her husband was experiencing, I was touched by her description about the encouragement she was receiving from her faithful friend Diana who had been a rock for her over the past week. Diana prayed with her for one to two hours at a time, played praise music for her, listened to her, and was available continually. I could tell her encouragement that week was holding my friend together.

I was struck by the selflessness of her friend Diana and the unwavering support she offered as our mutual friend suffered through the discouragement of a negative prognosis from the doctors and little signs of improvement in her husband. Through it all, Diana did not get discouraged. She persevered in lifting up my friend and giving her hope. She reminded her of the faithfulness of Jesus as well as sending her scriptures, declaring “by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

Hearing her talk about Diana made me think about how we all need a Diana in our lives when we are going through difficult times. And how sometimes we can BE that Diana for others in their times of need.

God is with us. He is our strength and our salvation. He is our rock.  And although we know this and believe, our faith can sometimes waver and grow weak when faced with problems that appear impossible to overcome.

That is when we need someone to lean on. Someone whose faith can undergird our own and remind us there is indeed hope when we cry out to the Father who will never leave us, and whose love will always sustain us. In hard times we need someone with flesh on to give us support and remind us of that.

When I went through three years of separation from my husband, a couple of women came along side me to lean on when I grew weary.

And in the story of Moses, I think about Moses standing on top of a hill, holding up the staff in his hands to encourage the Israelite army below as they fought the Amalekites. The encouragement of his raised staff gave strength to the armies in the battle. But when Moses’ arms grew tired and he could no longer keep them lifted up, Aaron and Hur came to hold up his arms so he could continue to offer encouragement. As a result they won the battle, and those who offered encouragement made the difference (Exodus 17: 10-13).

God asks us to encourage each other. To love each other. To stand beside each other in difficult times so we have the strength to win our battles. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

My friend’s husband is now improving, and even the doctors are calling it a miracle. God is faithful in our times of need, but sometimes we need a friend to remind us of that so we have the strength to hold on to our loving Father whose strength and might can overcome the odds that seem so insurmountable in the natural world.

Do you need a Diana to stand by you now to offer encouragement?

And is there someone in distress you can be a Diana to right at this moment in time?

Ask God to show you the role He wants you to play in someone else’s life to offer encouragement

 

If you need a Diana in your life to walk with you through a time of marital brokenness or separation, let my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, be a friend to you in this time of need.

 

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5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

  • God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of  connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

  • God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was Cover for book, Finding Hope in Crisiscoming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

  • God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

  • God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

  • God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Photo of Grace Fox

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

 

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Strength for the Weary

I was on my third run to the drug store in two hours. This time it was to get batteries for the blood pressure monitor I had just bought during run #2. My husband had recently endured two lengthy hospital stays in the last three weeks, and we were both exhausted. The tests, the doctor’s appointments, the new routines that had to be followed, staying stocked up on the right food and drink, remaining observant about health issues. I had to remain vigilant, but it was wearing me out.

As I reached the stoplight at the end of my street, I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. “Help me, God, I’m so tired.”

Into my mind immediately came Isaiah 40:31. “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

As I finished reciting the verse, my spirit lifted. “Those who wait on the Lord” . . . . Yes, that’s what I needed right then. The Lord . . . renews my strength when I am weary. The words were so fitting. I felt like I was constantly running around, trying to help my husband, trying to remember everything I needed to do and everything he needed to do. But God was telling me when I wait on Him I “will run and not grow weary for He will renew my strength.” I repeated the verse over and over in my mind.  And as the scripture settled and took root in my spirit, I honestly didn’t feel as weary. I repeated the verse over and over in my mind as I took the last turn into the drug store. God was filling me up with His strength, and as He gave me His strength, He was renewing my strength.

Many of us feel weary right now. Maybe it’s not because of trying to help an ailing loved one, but because of continued lockdowns and the inability to go out and socialize with friends and family. You may be dealing with a shrinking budget because of shutdowns at work, or perhaps you’re trying to hold down a job while also trying to help your children do school from home. Maybe your marriage was already crumbling before the world was hit by Covid, and this situation is exacerbating the friction between you.

Or perhaps you’re actually one of those who are suffering from Covid yourself or have a friend or family member trying to recover from this frightful virus. Perhaps you live by yourself and the loneliness is descending like a cloud of darkness over your spirit.

Whatever the reason, too many of us are weary.

Right before Jesus was born, the world was weary too. The Bible says they lived in darkness.  Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, looked forward to the coming of Christ as he spoke this prophecy at the birth of his son, who was to be the forerunner of the Messiah. “The rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace” (Luke 1:78-79).

In the darkness, God sent the Light of the World to shine into our lives to bring us hope and peace. God knew what was happening. God saw the hopelessness people were experiencing. God knew what was needed. And He sent us Jesus.

So yes we are weary. Yes, we’ve walked through a cloud of fear and uncertainly. Our normal lives have been disrupted. Even with a vaccine coming, we still don’t know how we will hold on.

But Christmas is coming. And it’s not just about the lights, the presents, and the music. It’s about the Christ child, who brought hope and salvation so we could turn our worlds around. No longer do we need to depend on the world to bring us joy. We only need to invite the Savior into our life and let Him settle there.  And each time we feel the weariness descend upon our hearts, we need to “wait upon the Lord.”  “He will renew [our] strength.” We will feel our hearts “mount up on wings like eagles. We will run and not be weary. We will walk and not faint.”

“Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, ‘’My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is disregarded by my God’? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40: 27-31).

 

If you are weary from trying to reconcile a broken marriage, you can find hope and strength through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. In this book, as I walk with you through this difficult valley, I believe you will “renew your strength” for the journey ahead.

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Thirteen Things We May Have Learned In Quarantine

Photo by Umit Bulut

Now that parts of the country are beginning to open up again, and before we move too fast to getting back to “normal,” perhaps it would be good to reflect on what we’ve learned during this time of quarantine.

Only few times in history has the entire world suffered through the same experience at the same time, but 2020 will long be remembered as a time when we all knew the fear and anxiety of a worldwide pandemic that arbitrarily claims lives. It will also be remembered as a time when we all were cloistered within our homes with few interactions with those outside our immediate family.

As tragic as this situation has been for many, I believe in every situation—good or bad, we have an opportunity to learn something that will grow us into stronger and better individuals.

So what have we learned during this quarantine?

  1. One of the happiest sights I’ve seen during this time of isolation are families strolling through the neighborhood, talking and laughing together. Moms and Dads and their kids are spending time with each other in large chunks of both quantity and quality time. It’s been an opportunity to get to know and enjoy the individuals living in our own house. Without the outside interference, the nuclear family is sharing new experiences together. Perhaps this time of quarantine has even created unique and special memories for our children.
  2. And how about the joy of spending time outside! With gyms closed, we’re learning to enjoy nature by running, walking, and biking instead of going to the gym. While in quarantine, I’ve been reading a book about having a healthier brain. In this book, author Timothy R. Jennings, M.D. sites studies, showing that spending time in nature provides multiple healthy benefits. Beyond that though, these studies also show that “exercise conducted outdoors rather than indoors appears to have a more robust heath benefit.” He goes on to cite research that shows how physical exercise conducted outdoors instead of indoors results in lower rates of depression, improvement in self-esteem and mood, as well as benefits in such things as heart rate, blood pressure, autonomic response and endocrine markers. Something to remember when gyms open up again and life resumes its usual pace.
  3. Learning to appreciate the luxury of going to the grocery store and finding anything we want on the shelves. Not every country has this luxury. Here in the U.S. we are so blessed as a nation in simply being able to go to the store, knowing we can find whatever we’re in the mood for. Having now gone through a time when many shelves were bare during the quarantine, let’s remember this lesson when we return to normal and be thankful for the many advantages we have in this country instead of dwelling on what we don’t have.
  4. Learning to appreciate our jobs and getting a paycheck. We might complain about them at times, but when they’re taken away from us, we realize how fortunate we truly are. We may not be as rich as some of our friends or someone we see on TV, but by having a job, we are able to support ourselves and our family.
  5. Since neighbors are the only people we really get to see, we are getting a chance to know them a little better – even if it’s only a social-distancing safe encounter. Continuing to foster these friendships with neighbors when the quarantine is over can strengthen our sense of community.
  6. Appreciating technology. This is a big one for me because I often complain about it. However, without the amazing advances of technology we would have no way to communicate with the outside world during this time of isolation. How thankful I am for it now so we are not completely shut off from friends and family who live apart from us.
  7. However, we are also learning that communicating through technology is not as satisfying as communicating with people in person. We have particularly found that online learning is not as successful as learning in the classroom. Seeing how many students struggle with classes, time management, and staying focused with distance learning, we realize more than ever the significance of a teacher’s role in a child’s learning experience. Having a real live, present teacher to interact with and respond to is so much more rewarding than staring at a computer screen even if there’s a talking head on the other end. I think we’ve learned that we are social creatures after all.
  8. Because of fewer visits to the grocery store, some of us may be learning to do a better job of conserving food and using leftovers. Knowing I can’t immediately go to the store to replenish ingredients makes me stretch the food I already have so it lasts longer. A recent study of the habits of 2,000 Americans showed that the average American wastes 103 pounds of food per year. Perhaps being quarantined has helped us learn to manage our food more carefully, frugally, and creatively.
  9. For those of us who are a little more industrious, we may be celebrating the chance to use the extra time to clean out closets or drawers or even our garage. (My hand is going up here.) Having to stay home has provided a good opportunity to finish up projects or start one we’ve had to put off because of our usual busyness.
  10. We may also be realizing the importance of validating elderly parents and grandparents with our visits. One of the saddest things for me during this season of COVID 19 is seeing those in nursing homes and assisted living facilities living in isolation without visits from family and friends or even congregating together for meals and activities. Remembering my own mother when she lived in a nursing home for a time, I know how important my daily visits were to her. I can’t imagine her mental and emotional health could have survived months of isolation. My prayer is that those who care for the elderly in these facilities will soon be given plans to bring relief to the loneliness of their charges. I pray also that each of us will value our elderly relatives more than ever and shower them with our love and attention when things return to normal.
  11. Children have learned things too. During the quarantine, they’ve been able to use their free time to rediscover the fun of imaginative play and creative ventures like building forts, playing make believe, making crafts, or reading books for pleasure and discovering board games and puzzles with family.
  12. And, of course, we’ve learned the importance of  washing our hands for 20 seconds on a regular basis. Because it’s hard to tick off the seconds correctly, I recently learned that singing the Doxology while washing your hands is a good reminder of how to measure the time. It’s also a good reminder to continually lift our voices in praise to our loving Father throughout the day. Here’s a quick reminder of the words: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.” If you just read that, it should have been a 20 second read! You might remember that next time you wash your hands.
  13. And this brings us to perhaps the most significant question many of us have dealt with during this time—the question of our mortality. As we’ve watched the COVID 19 death toll rising each day, we realize death is a part of life. Our own mortality stares us in the face each time the news reports peel off the new statistics. Because of this, we’re perhaps more aware of the finiteness of life, our limited time on earth, and the frailty of our individual lives. Prayer and thoughts of God and eternity may hover a little longer in our minds. We indeed are finite creatures, small in the context of a larger universe. But this needn’t bring fear when we open our hearts and minds to the sovereignty of a God who loves us and designed us to be in fellowship and relationship with Him. He has a plan for us, a future for us, and when we submit ourselves to His love, our lives can become richer and fuller as we walk toward the eternity He prepared for us through the gift of His son.

In each event of life—both good and bad—I see the truth of God’s promise in Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” I believe that this is even true in the days of COVID 19. In spite of the difficulties of this time, God can use it for our good and His purposes when we come to Him with open hearts and minds.

What have you learned in quarantine? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

If this quarantine has been strained because of a marriage in trouble, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated might help you take the next best step.

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