Thirteen Things We May Have Learned In Quarantine

May 19, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Umit Bulut

Now that parts of the country are beginning to open up again, and before we move too fast to getting back to “normal,” perhaps it would be good to reflect on what we’ve learned during this time of quarantine.

Only few times in history has the entire world suffered through the same experience at the same time, but 2020 will long be remembered as a time when we all knew the fear and anxiety of a worldwide pandemic that arbitrarily claims lives. It will also be remembered as a time when we all were cloistered within our homes with few interactions with those outside our immediate family.

As tragic as this situation has been for many, I believe in every situation—good or bad, we have an opportunity to learn something that will grow us into stronger and better individuals.

So what have we learned during this quarantine?

  1. One of the happiest sights I’ve seen during this time of isolation are families strolling through the neighborhood, talking and laughing together. Moms and Dads and their kids are spending time with each other in large chunks of both quantity and quality time. It’s been an opportunity to get to know and enjoy the individuals living in our own house. Without the outside interference, the nuclear family is sharing new experiences together. Perhaps this time of quarantine has even created unique and special memories for our children.
  2. And how about the joy of spending time outside! With gyms closed, we’re learning to enjoy nature by running, walking, and biking instead of going to the gym. While in quarantine, I’ve been reading a book about having a healthier brain. In this book, author Timothy R. Jennings, M.D. sites studies, showing that spending time in nature provides multiple healthy benefits. Beyond that though, these studies also show that “exercise conducted outdoors rather than indoors appears to have a more robust heath benefit.” He goes on to cite research that shows how physical exercise conducted outdoors instead of indoors results in lower rates of depression, improvement in self-esteem and mood, as well as benefits in such things as heart rate, blood pressure, autonomic response and endocrine markers. Something to remember when gyms open up again and life resumes its usual pace.
  3. Learning to appreciate the luxury of going to the grocery store and finding anything we want on the shelves. Not every country has this luxury. Here in the U.S. we are so blessed as a nation in simply being able to go to the store, knowing we can find whatever we’re in the mood for. Having now gone through a time when many shelves were bare during the quarantine, let’s remember this lesson when we return to normal and be thankful for the many advantages we have in this country instead of dwelling on what we don’t have.
  4. Learning to appreciate our jobs and getting a paycheck. We might complain about them at times, but when they’re taken away from us, we realize how fortunate we truly are. We may not be as rich as some of our friends or someone we see on TV, but by having a job, we are able to support ourselves and our family.
  5. Since neighbors are the only people we really get to see, we are getting a chance to know them a little better – even if it’s only a social-distancing safe encounter. Continuing to foster these friendships with neighbors when the quarantine is over can strengthen our sense of community.
  6. Appreciating technology. This is a big one for me because I often complain about it. However, without the amazing advances of technology we would have no way to communicate with the outside world during this time of isolation. How thankful I am for it now so we are not completely shut off from friends and family who live apart from us.
  7. However, we are also learning that communicating through technology is not as satisfying as communicating with people in person. We have particularly found that online learning is not as successful as learning in the classroom. Seeing how many students struggle with classes, time management, and staying focused with distance learning, we realize more than ever the significance of a teacher’s role in a child’s learning experience. Having a real live, present teacher to interact with and respond to is so much more rewarding than staring at a computer screen even if there’s a talking head on the other end. I think we’ve learned that we are social creatures after all.
  8. Because of fewer visits to the grocery store, some of us may be learning to do a better job of conserving food and using leftovers. Knowing I can’t immediately go to the store to replenish ingredients makes me stretch the food I already have so it lasts longer. A recent study of the habits of 2,000 Americans showed that the average American wastes 103 pounds of food per year. Perhaps being quarantined has helped us learn to manage our food more carefully, frugally, and creatively.
  9. For those of us who are a little more industrious, we may be celebrating the chance to use the extra time to clean out closets or drawers or even our garage. (My hand is going up here.) Having to stay home has provided a good opportunity to finish up projects or start one we’ve had to put off because of our usual busyness.
  10. We may also be realizing the importance of validating elderly parents and grandparents with our visits. One of the saddest things for me during this season of COVID 19 is seeing those in nursing homes and assisted living facilities living in isolation without visits from family and friends or even congregating together for meals and activities. Remembering my own mother when she lived in a nursing home for a time, I know how important my daily visits were to her. I can’t imagine her mental and emotional health could have survived months of isolation. My prayer is that those who care for the elderly in these facilities will soon be given plans to bring relief to the loneliness of their charges. I pray also that each of us will value our elderly relatives more than ever and shower them with our love and attention when things return to normal.
  11. Children have learned things too. During the quarantine, they’ve been able to use their free time to rediscover the fun of imaginative play and creative ventures like building forts, playing make believe, making crafts, or reading books for pleasure and discovering board games and puzzles with family.
  12. And, of course, we’ve learned the importance of  washing our hands for 20 seconds on a regular basis. Because it’s hard to tick off the seconds correctly, I recently learned that singing the Doxology while washing your hands is a good reminder of how to measure the time. It’s also a good reminder to continually lift our voices in praise to our loving Father throughout the day. Here’s a quick reminder of the words: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.” If you just read that, it should have been a 20 second read! You might remember that next time you wash your hands.
  13. And this brings us to perhaps the most significant question many of us have dealt with during this time—the question of our mortality. As we’ve watched the COVID 19 death toll rising each day, we realize death is a part of life. Our own mortality stares us in the face each time the news reports peel off the new statistics. Because of this, we’re perhaps more aware of the finiteness of life, our limited time on earth, and the frailty of our individual lives. Prayer and thoughts of God and eternity may hover a little longer in our minds. We indeed are finite creatures, small in the context of a larger universe. But this needn’t bring fear when we open our hearts and minds to the sovereignty of a God who loves us and designed us to be in fellowship and relationship with Him. He has a plan for us, a future for us, and when we submit ourselves to His love, our lives can become richer and fuller as we walk toward the eternity He prepared for us through the gift of His son.

In each event of life—both good and bad—I see the truth of God’s promise in Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” I believe that this is even true in the days of COVID 19. In spite of the difficulties of this time, God can use it for our good and His purposes when we come to Him with open hearts and minds.

What have you learned in quarantine? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

If this quarantine has been strained because of a marriage in trouble, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated might help you take the next best step.

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Sometimes We Just Feel Weary

April 30, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Guest Post by Kathy Collard Miller

Photo by Nik Shuliahin

Aren’t we all feeling weary? We’re wondering when will this COVID crisis end and we can resume our “new normal”? For most of us we are already thinking of the restaurant we’ll go to or what needs to be repaired. In all of this craziness we can be assured God hasn’t been blind or unhearing about our weariness and how we’re wondering how God fits into it all.

In fact, he comes straight out in the Bible and asks, “How have I wearied you?” Let’s look into the insights we can gain from that verse in Micah 6:3.

Even if we’re not weighed down by the Covid crisis, even when we are convinced God’s plan is His will for us, we still can feel weary. When the Israelites were complaining about God’s plan for them, He questioned them through the prophet Micah, “How have I wearied you?” (Micah 6:3 ESV).

We don’t know Micah’s tone of voice when he communicated God’s message to the people, but I wonder if he mimicked the people’s tone. If so, it would have been a whine.

When I, Kathy, grumble, I am like the Israelites in my complaint, God has done me wrong. I’m believing the lie God doesn’t know what He’s doing, and He will abandon me. He is giving me more than He is capable of empowering me to handle.

That was especially true when Larry’s mother, Audrey, lived with us. When it was clear Audrey could no longer live on her own, I felt dejected, knowing the only option was caring for her in our home. I sat on the patio, looking out at the setting sun. I felt like my life had just set. My life is gone. My life is ruined. I felt hopeless and helpless to battle against God’s will or believe He could help me win the battle. What will become of me?

My husband, Larry, also struggled with discontent. As time went along and his mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, which includes paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, he described feeling weary, as if he was being swallowed up by the endless needs of a demented woman who accused him of trying to kill her. Audrey ended up denying Larry was even her son.

We should have listened to what God says as he continues talking to the Israelites through Micah,

“For I brought you up from the land of Egypt

and redeemed you from the house of slavery,

and I sent before you Moses,

Aaron, and Miriam” (Micah 6:4).

He encourages them to remember all the times and ways He has provided for them in the past. And if He cared in the past, He would provide again and again and again.

Just as God had an answer for the complaining Israelites, Larry and I turned more and more to God’s answers and strength to combat our weariness. Day by day we remembered God’s faithful provision in the past when He healed our marriage and used our story to encourage others as we spoke at marriage retreats. We leaned on him asking for His power and guidance for Audrey’s care.

When we fell back into a weary whining, God’s words through Micah spoke to us, “How have I wearied you? Don’t I have the right to do anything I want with my servants—you? I’m empowering you and changing you. Trust me.”

We were humbled because we saw our complaints as what they really were: rebellion against the loving hand of God. God’s joy, freedom, and surrender were available to us. We could trust He was the same God who provided in the past and would strengthen us again and again. Plus, we discovered greater joy in each other as we united to serve a mentally ill woman.

After two-and-a-half years of living in our home, when Audrey joined Jesus in heaven, the Lord whispered in our hearts, “Well done, good and faithful servants.” He was the faithful one and deserved the credit, even to overcome our weary feelings.

Why do you think it’s difficult to remember God’s faithful past provision during a difficult challenge?

Think of a way God provided for you in the past which could encourage you in a current difficulty.

Faithful God, I praise you for your provision even though I am not faithful. Thank you for being willing to empower me by reminding me of the last time you provided more than I thought you could.

Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller have been married since 1970 and speak and write both separately and together. Their most recent book is God’s Intriguing Questions: 40 Old Testament Devotions Revealing God’s Nature (from which this post has been adapted). Kathy and Larry are parents, grandparents, lay-counselors and live in Southern California. They have spoken internationally and nationally. www.KathyCollardMiller.com

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Filed Under: Depression, disappointment, Mother-in-law/daughter-in-law, Prayer, Prodigals, stress, Trusting God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized, Where is God?, Worry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Crying Out to God in Distress

April 23, 2020 by 2 Comments

Photo by Ben White

Often as an author, when I get e-mails from readers, I hear stories of devastation, where not only a person’s marriage is in shambles, but a child is rebelling, a house is in foreclosure, jobs have been lost, a mother is dying, and more.  Crisis seems to come in clusters.  One misfortune would certainly be enough for any person to handle, yet many times catastrophe piles on top of calamity until a person can scarcely breathe—crushed beneath the weight of disaster.

Some of you may feel like this now. In the middle of this pandemic, sickness threatens in every corner of the globe bringing fear about everything you touch. But even if you’re able to keep that monster at bay, your finances may be drying up; debtors call on the phone and you try to decide between paying a bill and buying food. In addition, perhaps in an already stressed family situation your brain has begun to feel like it’s about to explode in the close quarters of your living space.

The fear and anxiety is mounting to an unprecedented level, and you simply don’t know where to turn.

Psalms 107 recites story after story of people in dire distress who came to the end of their rope. Some were wanderers with no place to live and nothing to eat and drink, some were in prison, some were suffering addictive behavior, some traveled on the seas in ships during a tempest. And in each situation, they came to the end of their ropes when they saw no hope. But when they came to this point, The Bible says, “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.”  Psalm 107:6

They couldn’t stand it any longer, and they cried out to the Lord in their trouble. I’ve been there. I’ve felt like that. I can feel that cry! Can’t you? A cry that comes from deep within the soul. A cry that says I can’t do this anymore. A cry of desperation. A cry of deep pain.

Just as in those emails I get, you may be in this place too. With the world collapsing around you, you may be crying out to God for answers.

Why does this happen though?  Why does a loving God allow the problems to accumulate, hit all at the same time, and the pain to grow until we feel utterly helpless to deal with what is happening in our lives?  Has He no mercy?  When is enough enough?

C.S. Lewis in his book, The Problem of Pain, says, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.  It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Often it is only when we are suffocating beneath the load of crisis that we truly come to a place where we cry out to Him and are willing to surrender our wrestling wills to Him. After one attack occurs, we may be in the process of looking for help. We think about praying. Maybe we do. Maybe we bow our heads in prayer and ask God to solve the dilemma. But when the problems begin to pile up, we feel paralyzed.  There is nowhere to turn. God becomes our only hope.  Even then we doubt and wonder, and only by God’s grace do we hold on.

It’s hard, but we have no place else to go. Our hearts melt in helplessness, and we hold onto God.

As our dependence on Him grows, roots begin to take hold in the soil of our souls.  We go deeper.  What began as only a temporary surrender, stays longer. Our characteristic tendency to recover quickly and then forget the God who brought us out of calamity dissipates as He keeps us longer in our place of dependence and strengthens our weak knees. When we have finally recovered, we will stand with confidence and new resilience and be transformed into more of what God called us to become.

And perhaps we will be ready to listen to what He wants to say to us. Perhaps we will hear His voice when he attempts to steer us in new directions. Perhaps we will be more willing to look into ourselves to see what changes He might want us to make.

There’s no more wonderful feeling than knowing God has heard your cry and delivered you from your distress. The hard part is coming to that place of surrender when you truly “cry out” to the Lord instead of stewing in the trouble.

Remember, what Satan means for your destruction, God means for your good.  Remember to call on His name! And stay with Him. Wait on Him. Wait to see the deliverance of your God.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted is available now.

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Filed Under: Depression, disappointment, Doubt, faith, Fear, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, How to win, Letting go, loss, Problems, stress, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Opportunities for the Family Amidst Stay-at-Home Orders

March 26, 2020 by 1 Comment

“Would you like to read a book together while we’re shut up in the house?” Marv asked a few days ago.

I’m not sure if I looked shocked or just felt it, but his question gave me a pleasant jolt. It was unusual for him to suggest something which seemed so . . . so relational.

But then nothing in the past couple of weeks has been “usual.” Our world has flipped upside down, and while we all watch the daily drip drip of numbers across the country and the world, we’re also finding new ways to cope and new ways to live. And some of them aren’t too bad.

“I love watching so many families taking walks together,” Marv commented again as another group of children accompanied by mom and dad passed by our window.

His comments got me to thinking. He was right. With so many working from home, gyms closed, and stay-at-home orders all over the country, people are forced to spend more time together as families. Families can have meals together and take those walks. That’s one of the good side effects of all this. But it also brings new challenges. For as time wears on, what can we do as a family when the kids begin to get tired of computer games and Disney Plus and have watched every DVD we own five times? We can all get a little stir crazy.

In this unusual moment, we have an opportunity to stretch beyond our customary routines and habits and discover a deeper sense of family. Although many are experiencing a lot of stress, we can also regard it as a time to “enjoy” one another in an unrestricted atmosphere where deadlines no longer define us and expectations of others no longer consume our energy. Here are some suggestions:

  1. If you live in a pleasant climate like we do here in Florida, enjoy those daily walks or bike rides as a family. Even in colder weather, have fun family times on sunshiny days by doing something outside together. But what else can you do?
  2. As a family, try playing board games, doing puzzles and rediscover some of the things people used to do in days gone by. If you don’t have board games, do you remember how to play charades or pantomime quiz? Most children love acting out their favorite movies and songs and making people guess what they’re doing.
  3. Read a book with your children. Get out one of the old classics like Heidi, Tom Sawyer, The Secret Garden, Charlotte’s Web, Peter Pan, Black Beauty, Bambi, or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Reading a book to your children as a family can establish a life-long love for books that brings enjoyment for years to come. Yes, at first the children might balk at the idea of your reading a book that doesn’t have pictures, but within the first half hour, chances are their imaginations will catch up with the stories so the pictures in their minds begin to soar.
  4. Create a treasure hunt in the backyard or inside the house. Let the older children help you write clues, then watch the children scramble around the house (or yard), searching for the treasure. Or for younger children, you can just play hide the teddy bear and let the children look for it. You can absorb a whole evening while children hunt for the elusive bear again and again. After awhile they will want to hide it for each other, and wow, can they ever get creative! Or what about hide and seek? Be prepared for a little more chaos than usual, but also be prepared for more laughter and fun.
  5. Instead of throwing out old corks, strawberry baskets, egg cartons, scraps of material, pieces of yarn and ribbon, or empty jars and cans, use them to do crafts with your kids. Then add in some beans, pasta, pieces of construction paper and cardboard. By just laying out a bunch of “junk” on the kitchen table with some glue and tape, you might be surprised at the creativity that springs forth in your kids.
  6. Let your children use blankets, sheets, and cardboard boxes to build a tent inside the house. Let them be creative. Suggest they make cubbyholes inside for their favorite stuffed animal and a place to enjoy snacks.
  7. Have fun baking with your kids. In addition to baking cookies and cakes, try some new treats. Easter is coming, and there are many creative concoctions you can put together. If you need ideas, you can find some on my Pinterest Page.
  8. Decorate for Easter. Perhaps you can use those craft times to create new Easter decorations. Have you ever learned to blow out eggs? You can find directions and other craft ideas on my Pinterest Page.
  9. Involve your children in helping someone who needs assistance during this time of isolation. Do you know an older person – perhaps a grandparent, neighbor or someone at your church—who could use encouragement? Volunteer to do some grocery shopping for them or run an errand. Make a greeting card and send it in the mail. Make an Easter craft for them and leave it at their front door.
  10. And speaking of Easter. With Easter coming, you might want to treat your children to a fun discovery and a new tradition. On April 7 when the full moon appears, you will probably be surprised to know you can actually see a rabbit in the shadows of the moon. Legends from China, Japan, India and other

    The Bunny Side of Easter

    countries in the Eastern part of the world have celebrated this rabbit for centuries even though few of us in the West have ever heard of him. In my children’s Easter picture book, The Bunny Side of Easter, I transform this legend into an adventurous, but winsome story about the heroism of this rabbit that points children to the true hero of Easter. When the full moon appears on April 7, you can have a Bunny Moon Watch Party with your kids. Children delight in seeing that there’s a rabbit in the moon.

And this year, for those of you who order the book from my official website http://bunnysideofeaster.com, you will also receive a FUNPACK, including character stickers, a puppet of one of the characters, a coloring page, a Happy Easter hat, and an activity book with several games and a discussion guide for parents. You can also order it from Amazon, and you can get it on Prime if you go to the second buying page for the book: https://The Bunny Side of Easter on Amazon , (but it won’t include the FUNPACK.)

God can use this difficult time in our world for good when we trust Him and look beyond regular everyday routines to make the most of our circumstances.

Thank Him for the blessings you have so He can expand your vision and help you see new opportunities to enjoy your family.

Bunny Side of Easter Fun Pack

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Children, comfort, Easter, parenting, Peace, Problems, stress, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Soul Care When You’re Weary – Interview with Author Edie Melson

March 17, 2020 by Leave a Comment

When life gets crazy, it can also be exhausting. As troubles mount, time for ourselves dwindle and time with God almost disappears. So how do we take care of ourselves and our relationship with God in the midst of turmoil? How do we strengthen our inner life and find soul care?

Edie Melson calls herself an organized creative, a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers who observes life through the lens of her camera. She’s a writer who feels lost without her camera. Her book, Soul Care When You’re Weary, merges faith and creativity to offer a way forward to those who are overwhelmed by circumstances and unable to find time for rest.  I believe you’ll enjoy hearing about her unique and simple way of connecting with God when the busyness of life threatens to eliminate it.

Linda: The title of this book reached out and grabbed me. I think so many of us are weary for so many reasons. What specifically put you on the path to writing this book?

Edie: This book grew out of a difficult time in my own life. My mother was at the end of caring for my father as he finished his battle with Alzheimer’s. My sister and I were doing our best to help support her and, after years of caregiving, we were all exhausted.

I remember one day in particular crying out to God for help. I knew I needed more of Him to get through this, but I was too tired to spend time in prolonged Bible study or even Bible reading. At night my prayer time most often ended with me falling asleep instead of whispering amen. Everywhere I turned, all I saw was how I was letting everyone down.

In that moment of desperation, I felt God ask me to give Him the small, in-between-times during the day and allow Him to fill me up. He promised to revive my spirit and my strength in ways I never imagined—and He told me to do it using creativity.

Linda: Creativity? What exactly did that process look like?

Edie: Well to begin with, it looked very disorganized and messy. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not an artist—I don’t draw and barely manage to doodle. But creativity is in my blood. My mother is an internationally known watercolorist and mixed media artist and my father is a classical musician turned landscape photographer. Truthfully, if I hadn’t been creative in some respect I’m afraid they’d have kicked me out of the family.

So I went back to my roots and began small. I started carrying a tiny notebook and pack of four colored pencils in my purse. When I was waiting at the hospital or had a few minutes of downtime in my schedule, I’d pull out that notebook and write a word, or phrase or Bible verse. Then I’d color around it. As I took time to be creative, God used that to help me focus on Him. The more I spent time with Him, the more His strength and peace filled my soul.

One day I remembered doodling the word faith and just staring at it, unable to do anything creative with it. Instead, I asked God about faith, what it looked like when the world around me was dark. Before I knew it, I’d drawn a bright yellow circle around the world and felt like God was telling me that faith provides light in the dark.

Linda: How did you take the lessons you learned then and turn them into your book, Soul Care When You’re Weary?

Edie: After daddy passed, I had several people ask me how I got through that time and found myself reluctant to admit that—in essence—play time with God had been my strength. It just sounded so frivolous and unimportant. So I went back to God’s word and searched for passages about creativity and rest, and that led me to the Sabbath. And there I found the truth of what had happened to me.

God reached me by restoring a rhythm of rest to my life that had been missing. I knew that other people were struggling with weariness and I decided to share what I’d learned.

Linda: How does your book, Soul Care When You’re Weary, help with that?

Edie: First of all, Soul Care When You’re Weary is a small book. I filled it with short devotions and prayers that someone could read in three to five minutes. Interspersed with those, I dropped in creative exercises that connect us to God. This is a book to play with. It has room to draw, doodle and be messy—all while focusing on God.

Linda: Tell me more about rest and soul care.

Edie: We have become a society that honors busyness and disdains play. The world around us is continuing to spiral out of control. Our lives are busier and the margin we have available for recovery and peace is shrinking. As we struggle to cope and search for answers, we’ve neglected the legacy of creativity that’s been passed to us from our Heavenly Father. This legacy isn’t frivolous. It’s foundational to the deep relationship with God we all need.

Busyness isn’t the way God designed us to operate. We function best when we have regular times of rest. But these times are supposed to be much more than just taking naps or getting eight hours of sleep every night. They’re times when we connect with our Heavenly Father without distractions. For me, that connection came through creativity.

That experience showed me how I can find the rest I need when I reconnect with God through creativity. There’s something reflective and contemplative that happens when we allow ourselves time to play while focusing on God.

Linda: Do you have some tips on how we can apply this process to our own lives?

Edie: I definitely do. Here’s how I suggest you begin with doodling:

  1. Remember this is a judgment-free zone. We’re not allowed to compare the supposed merit of our results with our expectations or with what anyone else creates. The point of these healing moments is strictly a time of play with our Heavenly Father.
  2. Invite God to join you and ask Him to bring to mind a word or phrase or Bible verse. If all you hear is silence, do a quick search on your phone like this, “Bible verses about peace.” God’s word is healing. It doesn’t matter how we get to it.
  3. Write what comes to mind on a blank sheet of paper.
  4. Add some color and doodles. Remember, judgment-free zone. The point of this is play.
  5. As other related thoughts come to mind, write those down.Pick the colors you love and use them with abandon. Remember that frustration with this process is tied tightly to expectations. Don’t let expectations of how something should look derail your experience with God.

Remember that anything new takes time to feel comfortable—even play—especially if you haven’t played in a long time. God wants to meet you right where you are. There’s no need for a silent get-away to experience the peace He has for you. Instead, dust off your creativity and get ready to spend some memorable—play-time—moments with your Creative Father.

Linda: Where can people find Soul Care When You’re Weary and how can readers find out more about you, your speaking, and your writing?

Edie: You can find out more about me and my books on www.ediemelson.com and through social media.

 

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Start Where You Are

March 9, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Cheron James

When the world thrusts new challenges in our path – sometimes a life-changing challenge in the form of crisis that we are unprepared to deal with, what do we do? What is our first inclination?

Usually for me it’s to try to figure out all the angles so I can understand it better. For some people, it may be doing a Google search or calling a friend. Others might first visit the gym to work off the anxiety. Or maybe they just go to bed and sleep, hoping it will all go away. Unfortunately, some might even try to numb the tension by escaping through drinking, smoking, or drugs.

With no prospects for immediate solutions, our minds spin in confusion, and everything’s a blur. How do we make wise choices when we can’t understand what’s happening? Where do we go? How do we start?

The best place to start is right where you are.

“Be still,” says Psalm 46:10, “and know that I am God,”

Yes, the first thing to do is stop what you’re doing—whatever it is—and look up. Grasp hold of the one thing you know to be true and real and lasting. And that is the living God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, our loving Father God,

One morning as a teenager, when I was experiencing a time of heartache, I opened my Bible and read Matthew 6:33.  In that passage God revealed the answer to my yearning and the secret to the new beginnings I needed so I could move forward. “Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added to you.”  The words jumped out at me and came alive in my spirit. I knew God was speaking to me, telling me to seek Him first, to come close to Him, and then I would find what I was looking for. That scripture became a tablet on my heart. From that day forward, I have seen Him unfold good things in my life when seeking Him remains my priority. When I veer away from that and start wandering into anxiety, God has a way of bringing me back to that truth until I once again look up and seek Him first. That’s when the answers begin to come.

If we first seek the kingdom of God; if we first seek His righteousness, then these other things will come in His timing and His sovereignty. And we might be surprised at the good things He has in store for us when we let Him direct our paths.

Our Father God is the ultimate reality, the only truth we can always depend on.  When we start with Him He will lead us along paths of victory. My friend and evangelist Jimmy Sowder often told his audiences, “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.”

If you are struggling for answers and need direction, grab hold of Jesus’ hand so He can lift you up. Let your mind be taken captive by the Word of God. Seek His wisdom and ask Him to show you the next best step and the next. Clear your mind of the garbage that holds you back, and put the messiness of the past behind you. Focus completely on God and His Word. If your thinking lingers on the past, remember what God has done for you in former times, the ways He has pulled you out of scrapes and rescued you. Have you thanked Him for these times of deliverance? Whether you did or didn’t, do so now. Acknowledge Him as your Lord and Savior who saves you out of all your worries.

God will lift you up and show you the direction to take. Trust Him one day at a time. He is your loving Father. And He knows the way.

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging (Psalm 46:1-3).

 

Find a path through separation with my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

 

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Filed Under: Fear, Marriage problems, New Directions, Problems, stress, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

A Rock in Life’s Quakes

July 31, 2019 by Leave a Comment

By Michael Kmet

By Tina Yeager

With a bit of apprehension I offered my head to the hairstyling apprentice. She needed to practice, so I agreed to become the lab rat of her experiment. Few had seen the procedure and my outcome was difficult to predict. Bowls of gel mixtures littered the small table. Countless paint strokes surrounded me. After an hour, I resembled an alien with head of silver tentacles sprouting hair. A cosmic halo orbited my noggin, projecting heat onto the foils. An anxious flutter stirred in my belly, churning a bit of acid to rise into my throat.

It’s only hair, I told myself. No matter how this turns out, I will be okay.

This year brings a variety of changes for me, all more significant than the balayage venture (which proved less dramatic than I anticipated, by the way). We’ve moved away from the home in which we raised our kids. One son now lives over two hours away, while my youngest begins his doctoral program in another city. At the same time, I grieve the loss of my church family, and my career is undergoing a major transition. I’m not sure how the results will look, but a different world is shaping up around me.

Change shakes up our lives in a myriad of forms. It can often prove refreshing as some novelty brings joy. Hence the constant trend shifts in technology, fashion, and adventurous recreation. New movies rock. Hidden waterfalls delight the soul. Who doesn’t love a fresh outfit?

The transitions we don’t seek will occur, too, however. We age. People leave us. Security blankets blow away in one strong gust of calamity. Expected or not, certain life-upheavals rattle our roots from their comfortable places. From relocation to chronic health issues to grief, uncomfortable transitions stretch across differing levels of life’s Richter scale. They all begin with a similar emotion, as the first thing felt in an unwanted quake is loss. Pain screams to the forefront of human awareness, blocking other details from our perspective.

The amount of time it takes to recover varies with how deeply we’ve been impacted by the shifting circumstances around us. Change can feel like a seismic event, but the painful aftershocks will diminish and the dust of our disorientation will settle after a while. Even before opening  our eyes to survey the land, we know it has changed. We don’t need to look to acknowledge the change has affected us. Life shifted, and things are not as they were.

I cannot move on from a state of loss until I open my eyes and accept the new reality. I must survey the landscape to identify my resources. A strange realization dawns in the moment of clarity after the impact has subsided. Despite the change, all is not lost. My greatest resource remained with me even when I could not see Him.

In the tumult of life in this errant world, God remains steadfast. He never leaves us. His love gushes endlessly over us whether we sense it or not. Often, He brings our sweetest blessings in the times we feel most lost and alone. Regardless of the many transitions and losses we experience, God never changes.

As my maturing sons depart and I work and worship, landscapes transform; these changes occur on the temporary plane of my existence. Even if I lose all I hold dear, the Lord will sustain me with His precious loving presence to the end of mortality. And then, all be restored. Adonai, Whose every work surpasses excellence, revitalizes life with extra gobs of glory lavished on top. Eternity will gather my entire spiritual family to worship and serve together. Ultimately, nothing will be lost forever. I will be better than okay.

  “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deut. 31:6).

What changes are you experiencing today? Try offering a prayer of trust and praise with me. Choose to believe in God’s steadfast nature, despite the shuddering earth. Let’s cling with all our faith to the Rock in the midst of life’s quake.

By Tina Yeager, author of Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You

Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You empowers women to break free from the traps of insecurity and sabotaging mindsets. As empowered warriors, women can raise their shields and become the divine heroines they were destined to become. With therapeutic tips, a solid biblical foundation, and empowering questions, women can free themselves from ongoing negative patterns, overcome common obstacles to healthy self-esteem, deepen awareness of Christ-centered identity, and embrace divine esteem.To connect with Tina, visit tinayeager.com.

 

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Filed Under: Hope, Knowing God, loss, New Directions, Pain, Peace, Problems, stress, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

When You Need a 911 Prayer Line

July 24, 2019 by 1 Comment

Jason Leung

A few years ago, when Hurricane Matthew was bearing down upon our home in Florida, my daughter in California texted me the entire passage of Psalm 91, a comforting Psalm about God’s protection.

A year later, when fires raged not far from her California home, I texted her that same Psalm to reassure her that God was watching over her.

Psalm 91 became our go-to scripture whenever we needed peace to face frightening circumstances.

Months later while we were again dealing with a worrisome situation, my daughter pointed out an amazing fact about this powerful scripture.

When we read or pray over Psalm 91, we are dialing 911 to God. Psalm 91:1 and the verses that follow bring on God’s rescue team whenever we’re afraid. They are full of His promises. And when we are fearful, these words not only comfort our hearts, but cover us with God’s loving protection so He can shield us from harm. Psalm 91:1 begins:

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday” (Psalm 91:1-6).

Life can be scary at times. Recently our world has been besieged with hurricanes, fires, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, and even a volcanic eruption. But frequently the fear is more personal. It may be a life-threatening physical ailment, a relationship breakdown like a separation or impending divorce, financial hardship, or mental or emotional stress from the many pressures we face.

Just as we dial 911 to bring the ambulance to our doorstep, when we call out to God, we summon His angels to our rescue. And just as we need to trust the paramedics to skillfully handle our situation and treat our wounds, so we must trust our heavenly Father to take command of our circumstances. Then His peace will quiet our hearts and assure us that He is in control.

Verse 10 of Psalm 91 continues with, “If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the Lord, who is my refuge—then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” (Psalm 91:10-11).

When we ask God to abide with us as our Lord and Savior, our 911 emergency prayer mode can kick in more naturally to provide sure and lasting protection when danger threatens.  For when we ask Him to take a permanent role in our lives, He walks with us through our troubles.  We need only to call on Him to bring Him to our rescue. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him” (Psalm 91: 14-15).

Whenever you feel overwhelmed with fear, call God’s 911 hotline by turning to Psalm 91:1 and the verses that follow. His promises will calm your heart and remind you that you have a mighty God who loves you and watches over you. All you have to do is call on His name.

 

If you are struggling through a difficult time in your marriage, please check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated

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Caring for the Caregiver, Author Interview with Cheri Swalwell

June 18, 2018 by 1 Comment

Even when couples have a good, loving marriage, certain attacks can come from the outside that put an unusually heavy strain on the relationship. One of these attacks comes in the form of health issues, requiring one spouse to become the caregiver of the other. In this case, both partners must learn to navigate their marriage relationship while also taking on new and different roles with one another. One must learn to deal with their new disability. The other must develop a new skill set and the strength to take on their new responsibility.

Cheri Swalwell has written a Bible study called Caring for the Caregiver to help sustain the caregiver when taking on such an unexpected role in their marriage. 

Linda:  You wrote a book titled Caring for the Caregiver. Could you explain how that offers hope to couples in difficult marriages?

Cheri: Difficulties in marriage come about through internal or external circumstances. Our difficulties occurred through a series of external circumstances.

In 1999, I married my best friend. We got married in our late twenties and decided we’d start a family sooner rather than later. By 2006, I was fulfilling my dream to be a “stay at home” working mom with a six-year-old and a three-year-old. Life was good.

In September 2006 I decided to join a women’s Bible study. I remember driving home one evening, thinking about the group conversation that night. One question kept repeating in my mind: Did I trust God? I knew He was in my heart and I loved Him, but did I really trust Him?

Sadly, my answer was no. I didn’t trust God – not with my husband, my kids, or what mattered most. Right then, I prayed and told God I wanted to trust Him, asked Him to help me learn how to trust Him, but to please be gentle during the process. I waited a few minutes and was met with silence.

While I didn’t forget about the conversation, I didn’t pursue it any further. I’d asked, so I figured the next move was His. It didn’t take me long to realize God is faithful to answer when we ask with the right attitude.

Linda: That’s quite the statement to make to God. I love how even though you didn’t think you trusted God, you still knew He would answer your heartfelt prayer.

Cheri: Exactly. I didn’t know how, but I knew enough about God to know He would answer in His time. About halfway through the Bible study, I found out we were pregnant with our third child. While my husband and I had planned for two children, God planned a “plus one more.” I was over the top ecstatic. Thankfully, my husband felt the same way and I relished every minute of being pregnant one more time.

Except for an announcement to family only at Thanksgiving, the pregnancy was kept a secret during the first trimester. In mid-December, we felt it was safe enough to start telling. Three days later, one day shy of the official 12-week mark, I woke up bleeding. Less than six hours later, we lost our baby. Due to complications, three days later I was in the ER facing a necessary D&C to allow the physical healing to start. However, the emotional healing would take much longer.

I’d been looking forward to celebrating Christmas with a little one safely nestled inside. However, I faced the Christmas Eve service alone. My husband was confined to bed with the flu and our baby was in Heaven. I felt so alone and completely forgotten.

Linda: I’m so sorry for your loss. Death of a child is hard on a marriage. Yet, I understand your marriage was still to be dealt one more blow. Please tell us about it.

Cheri: Around this time, our church had called a corporate fast to begin in February. God invited me to fast, but not for our church. He asked me if I would fast for my family. He wanted me to fast for the four of us to grow closer together and for my husband and me to grow stronger in our marriage. I accepted the challenge and the fast began the week before Valentine’s Day. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my husband.

The Friday after Valentine’s Day began as a normal day. That evening we put our kids to bed and settled in for the night. During a commercial, my husband went to check on the kids. He got halfway up the stairs and turned around, his pulse racing, his face ashen and physically shaking.

“Cheri, I don’t feel well” was an understatement. He looked awful, so I immediately called the doctor. His symptoms were passed off as “the flu” and I was instructed to watch him during the night, “but he should be better by morning”. Easier said than done. The doctor wasn’t seeing what I was seeing. I couldn’t sleep, begging God to fix whatever was wrong. I had just lost our baby in December; I wasn’t ready to lose my husband, too.

We spent the next six weeks back and forth to the emergency room, hoping they could give us answers. After an approximate 35 pound weight loss in six weeks, my husband was finally admitted to the hospital. We needed to know what we were fighting.

Months later, we received one of many diagnoses and have spent the last ten years pursuing healing and adjusting to life within our new normal. We also learned some valuable lessons from God.

Linda: What is one truth you learned through this experience with your husband that you would like to share with others?  

Cheri: When one person in a family unit is suffering, it affects the entire household. Many times, chronic illness can pull a couple apart. I believe God invited me to fast for our family before the illness hit because He wanted to prepare us for the upcoming journey. I’m so grateful I accepted that invitation and believe it has helped us grow stronger as a family, but more importantly, as a couple.

Approximately six to eight years after our journey began, we were in the office with another new doctor, this time tackling food sensitivities, another symptom of my husband’s autoimmune disease.

At one point the doctor and I were in the room alone. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but I distinctly remember the doctor stating how amazed she was with the support I was showing.

“Why wouldn’t I support my husband? We’re in this together. He doesn’t want to be sick any more than I wish it for him. In fact, if I could, I would take it away from him and suffer instead, if just to give him a break.”

Her reply stuck with me. “You’d be surprised how many spouses don’t support their loved ones. They blame the one who’s sick for the illness or for not doing enough to get better. Your husband is blessed to have your support because sadly, not many married couples are that supportive of each other.”

If I have one word of encouragement to offer others facing similar circumstances, it’s to fight the illness together as a team instead of fighting each other and not the illness.

God was able to use all the above circumstances to help me learn how to trust Him – not just with my husband and kids, but with every area of my life.

Linda: What led you to write a Bible study book about your experience?

 Cheri: As believers, I feel strongly that when we are allowed to experience trials and challenges in life, we are to use the empathy born from those painful experiences to walk alongside others on similar journeys. Pointing others to the One who has the answers produces a ripple effect of blessings in our lives. As God introduced me to couples walking through similar heartaches, our experiences allowed me to offer them encouragement.

Almost ten years later, in January 2017, during one of my now-regular fasting periods, God asked me to take the lessons He taught our family throughout the past decade and share that encouragement on a larger scale in the form of a Bible study for caregivers. I knew this invitation was from God because He downloaded the entire outline of the book to me in about 20 minutes.

In December 2017, Caring for the Caregiver was published. In June I finished co-leading my first Bible study using this material.

Linda, one member from the group sums up her and her husband’s experience in the group so eloquently, “Looking at caregiving as a partnership had not occurred to us and when you look at it that way, things change. God has given us a new tenderness toward looking at fighting the disease/condition together and not being frustrated with the person being cared for.”

 Linda: Is this a book that can only be used as a Bible study and is it specific just for caregiving for one’s spouse?

Cheri: I’m glad you asked, Linda. This book is about more than just caregiving for one’s spouse. It offers encouragement to foster parents, hospice workers, nurses – anyone in a caregiving role of any kind. There are two sets of questions following each chapter to accommodate all caregiving situations. And because all caregivers know time is precious, the chapters are short and easy to read.

 Linda: Where can people learn more about you and your books?

Cheri: Come visit me at Spoken from the Heart to see my full list of books. I’d love to connect with you on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn or through email.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, health issues, Interviews, loss, stress, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , ,

Interview with Penny Monetti, Co-author of Honored to Serve, Guidance and Encouragement for Military Families in Transition

July 10, 2015 by 4 Comments

Honored to Serve_catalogWith our recent celebration of the 4th of July, fond thoughts still linger on the brave men and women who have fought to make America free. Many of these military families have unique challenges on the home front as well as the battlefield. Through their two books, Called to Serve and Honored to Serve, Penny Monetti and her husband Lt. Col. Tony Monetti encourage both military and civilian families by providing combat care, recovery, and stress management for trauma and crisis victims. Penny is a Marriage Life Coach, is certified in the neuroscience of anxiety and mood disorders, and serves on Missouri Congresswoman’s Military Advisory Board.

Linda: What motivated you to write books that inspire both military members and civilians to overcome life’s tough challenges?

Penny: Living the military life as an Air Force B-2 bomber pilot’s wife and serving from the home front has truly been an honor. Along with changing addresses as often as a smoke detector changes batteries and forging lifelong friendships with people world wide, I also experienced other unique military-related challenges. Numerous times my husband informed me that he was leaving due to military missions. He could not tell me where or for how long. With young children in tow, I waved my husband off to combat or dangerous exercises, not knowing if and when he would return.

As boxes were packed for the thirteenth move, I reassured my children that they would make new friends again. I witnessed and experienced the collateral damage that combat places on families after war comes home.

Then, as our once seemingly perfect marriage went south, and I became transparent about my marital fires, I discovered the vast expanse of others whose outwardly strong relationships were inwardly dying. These diverse life experiences sparked a burning desire to help fellow military members overcome personal battles and reignite the love in their relationships. However, I surprisingly discovered readers, unaffiliated with military life, also related with our stories, such as couples, single parents, truck drivers, and others whose jobs required travel away from home.

After sharing painful issues such as pornography, temptations, destructive behaviors, and neglecting each others’ unmet needs, my husband Tony and I realized we could inspire others who felt lost, desperate, and as hopeless as we once did.

Many people currently live a life void of joy; they are unaware that the powerful life-changing tools reside within themselves. I believe that God used my painful experiences for His purpose to help others’ marriages not only survive pain but thrive because of pain.

Staying in a Painful Relationship

Linda: If pain prevailed in your relationship, could you tell us why you decided to fight to save it? Was there a defining moment you decided to stick it out?

Penny: At one point Tony and I were living at opposite ends of the house to avoid fighting. Our feelings of love seemingly disappeared. During this time, I read an inspirational book that a friend coincidentally gave me. When the book’s main character recounted her married history, my icy heart melted. I reflected on my own marriage. Tony and I had shared births and the death of our unborn child together. We experienced first steps, 2:00 a.m. fevers, Little League, and piano recitals. We survived wars, served community and country, wiped tears, and built a strong family. At one time, we were each others’ best friends. We couldn’t lose that.

I set the tear-stained book on my nightstand and grabbed my laptop computer. Tony was in London serving as the keynote speaker at a Penny Monetti & Husband B-2week-long aviation symposium. My mom was visiting me. With childcare taken care of, I decided to prove my commitment to Tony through extreme action. I clicked on a travel site and booked a flight the following day (worth a college semester’s tuition) to Great Britain. For the first time, I understood the “for worse” part of the marriage vows. I promised God to love my husband even when the worldly kingdom’s easy answer would be to bail out. As I clicked on the airline’s submit button to purchase the ticket, I truly submitted my marriage to God.

Just because I decided to be obedient to my vows, feelings of love did not magically reappear. Tough times awaited me; however, I hoped that with God’s powerful guidance, we could find our way back to each other and the love we once shared. The rest of this defining experience is included in Called to Serve and for me; it is our most powerful story. Although I couldn’t see it then, I can now look back and see that when I was at the darkest, weakest point in my life, God revealed His strength, turning my pain into His wonderful purpose.

Dealing with Pain

Linda: So are you saying pain can be good?

Penny: Face it. No one raises their hands in the Suffering 101 class shouting, “Pick me. Pick me!”

However, life’s inevitable trials serve a purpose if we choose to view them as a catalyst for growth. Pain serves as a messenger to thwart destructive threats. Our body’s pain receptors message the brain to reflexively remove ourself from danger to avoid further injury.

However, too often, we view pain as the enemy. We will do anything and everything to avoid pain. We down pills and alcohol to numb it. We secretly search for better relationships in person or via social media to escape it. We disassociate from people and experiences that trigger memories of it. We overwork, over commit, and over indulge to deflect it.

Instead of avoiding pain, if we allow ourselves to experience its message, we open doors to the life changing lessons it holds. God does not instruct us to avoid pain; instead he states the opposite. He says that we WILL suffer, yet, He will be at our side. Isaiah 43: 1-3 says, “Fear not… you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you (ESV, emphasis mine).

Growth, healing, and a rich marriage relationship occurred because of the painful fires we traveled. When we could not depend on each Called to Serve book coverother, we focused on God, who became a mirror that enabled us to view ourselves as we really are—broken, unworthy sinners in need of a Savior. When we both submitted to God’s control, He began molding our marriage into the union He intended it to be. Proverbs 25:4 says, “Purge the dross from the silver, and material for a vessel comes forth for the silversmith (ISV). Dross is an impure by-product that is purged from silver when placed in a scorching hot furnace, over 600 degrees hot. The dross, also referred to as scum, rises to the top and the refiner removes it so the malleable silver can be molded into a beautiful vessel. Relational scum blocked us from experiencing a deeper, richer, beautiful union. God knew the degrees of refining heat required to render our relationship pure.

Verbal and Physical Abuse in Marriage

Linda: As a professional marriage life coach who specializes in stress management for trauma and crisis victims, what advice do you have if verbal or physical abuse is present?

Penny: I see clients weekly who live in physically or verbally abusive relationships. Many are concerned about remaining obedient to their marital vows and God’s precepts. My advice is this: Never remain in a threatening environment. Protect children and self first.

After the crisis passes, convey to your spouse that protecting the family is necessary, and leaving a dangerous situation is not equivalent to giving up on the relationship. Communicate that you want your spouse in your life, but needs to get healthy for your family come first. Set boundaries and seek to restore the relationship within strict parameters of professional guidance. If both parties are willing, hope exists.

Linda: What advice can you offer to someone who is walking through the fires of a separation?

Penny: While experiencing any stressful life situation, I advocate that individuals practice PMS: the kind you WANT to have. PMS is physical, mental and spiritual balance. Visualize this acronym as a three-legged stool. If one leg is missing, the stool tumbles. To make good mental decisions and be the best partner and parent, incorporate PMS into daily living.

Physical, Mental and Spiritual Balance in Stressful Times

Linda: Could you explain PMS a little more?

Penny: Certainly. Here’s a brief overview.

Physical– Twenty minutes of cardio exercise/day release endorphins and dopamine. These neurotransmitters play a key role in reducing anxiety and depression. According to Mayo clinic, endorphins’ effect on physical pain may be as effective as a dose of morphine. Endorphins are also known to have an anti-aging affect on the body.

Mental– Keep it positive. Surround yourself with supportive friends who encourage. Reduce negative influences that are energy vampires. You know who they are; their high maintenance friendships suck the life from you. Don’t de-friend them on Facebook; however, set boundaries. Focus your energies on encouraging friends.

Add positive self-talk into your inner dialogue, and say positive affirmations OUT LOUD, while including your name, at least three times daily. For instance, “(State your name) is compassionate and a loyal friend.” By listening to positive self-talk, your auditory neural pathways connect with cognitive thoughts and rewire the brain from obsessive self-defeating thoughts to hopeful thinking. After twenty-one days, this action will become a habit.

Spiritual – Studies indicate that prayer and meditation also redirect the brain’s neural pathways responsible for rumination and decreases depression and anxiety. Research shows that less than 1% of married couples who pray together divorce. Pretty amazing when the reported divorce rate is 52%.

Linda: What would you like the readers to take away from this interview?

Penny: If you don’t remember anything else, remember: love is a choice not a feeling. You chose to say I do, and when you vowed love to your spouse, you not only committed your marriage to each other, but also to God. Feelings of love during your marriage may fade, but His love remains steadfast. He promises that when we are weak, He is strong. When two individuals commit to abide in His love, all things are possible.

Linda: Where can readers find more information about you and your ministry?

Penny: The book is presently on sale and can be found at: https://dhp.org/dhp-pages/font-color-red-i-called-to-serve-i-and-i-honored-to-serve-i-font.html Readers can find more about our military ministry on Pennymonetti.com.

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Filed Under: Abuse, BOOKS, God's Word, How to win, Interviews, Love, marriage, Marriage problems, Military families, Pain, Reconciliation, stress, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,
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