New Years Archives - Heart Talk with Linda Rooks

Find Direction by Setting Goals

January 3, 2024 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

woman's back as she sits looking at sunset

Photo by Allef Vinicius

WHEN LIFE THROWS us a curve ball we may find ourselves off balance. It’s hard to find direction. At these times it can help if we become intentional by sitting down and setting specific goals – both short term and long term ones. New Years is a great time to do that.

If you’re feeling off balance and are looking into a 2024 that feels uncertain and unsettling, I suggest you print off this page, get a pen, a Bible and a cup of coffee and sit down prayerfully to map out your hopes and goals for the new year. Ask God to give you direction as you hold onto His promises and look at the different areas of your life. When doubt and uncertainty rocks your world, setting goals for yourself can brighten the path ahead.

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Cor. 13:4-7

IV. CAREER GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Prov. 16:3

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“…be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:23-24

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb. 13:16

VII. SPIRITUAL GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks to the Father…” Col. 1:10-11

If you’re feeling off balance because of what’s happening in your marriage and need to set some specific goals for moving forward, you might find direction in my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

Filed Under: Expectations, Goals and Resolutions, New Directions, New Years, Searching for purpose, Uncategorized Tagged With: Feeling lost, hard times, hope, New Directions, seeking answers, what to do

Transformation, Author Interview with Donna Schlachter

January 24, 2023 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

AS THE NEW YEAR gets underway, we may or may not be looking forward to what lies ahead. But regardless of our situation, there is one thing we can be certain of. If we are trusting God to lead us, we need not fear the future. One tool that can be helpful as we seek God’s wisdom in the Word is having a devotional book to guide us through the Bible. Author Donna Schlachter hopes her devotional book, Transformation can do just that. She tells you more about it in my interview with her below.

Linda: Why did you write this devotional book and what is the format?

Donna: As believers or seekers, we know deep down we should read the Bible. But where to start? Some of those books in the Bible can be so dry. I wanted to create a book that readers would find relevant today.

Transformation is a 366-day devotional, so there is a devotion for every day plus Leap Year. It comes in print and digital versions, can be started any day of the year, and if you miss a day or a week or a month, you just pick up where you left off. Completing the reading is the goal, not how long it takes.

Linda: I see that you use the chronological Bible for your devotional. What made you decide to do that?

Donna: I had read through the Bible chronologically the previous year, and was astounded at how the books and chapters—and even verses—fit into the timeline of when they actually happened. Knowing that gave me new insight into the culture and context of the events. I’d not seen a devotional book that used a chronological timeline, so thought this might be a change for readers.

Linda: Why did you choose Transformation as the title of this book?

Donna: When I undertook to read the Bible through chronologically in a year, I started journaling as I went. Along the way, I realized that God was speaking to me personally through this format. I was changed—for the better. When I later felt Him tugging at my heart to compile my journaling into a devotional book, I was forced to transform my thinking about my personal quiet time. Now I could use it to reach and impact lives as God had done with me.

Linda: Do you focus on a particular theme?

Donna: As I read the passages each day, my goal was to pick a nugget from each reading, to look at a specific focus verse or verses in a brand new way. One that would change how I related to God. So the verses I use in this devotional are not the ones you see in other devotionals.

Linda: How is this devotional book different from other devotional books?

Donna: I used to struggle when I found a yearly devotional I liked, but it was August. I felt I had to keep it around until January 1^st. I did that one year, and when the new year came around, realized I’d bought—and saved—three devotional books. What I realized then was I liked each of these books for different reasons, but mostly because the topic was something I was going through at the time. Now it wasn’t of interest to me. So when I sat down to write this book, I made certain it could be started any day of the year without confusion.

You can start reading it on any date. June 19^th can be Day 1. Continue reading and complete the Bible on June 18^th of the following year. Missed a few days? No worries. Pick it up where you left off and keep going. Take longer than a year if you want..There is no prize for finishing early. I just want readers to connect with Father God and accomplish reading the entire Bible.

Linda: How does your book, Transformation speak to the hearts of people who are going through a rough time in their lives?

Donna: Each day, readers will read God’s love letter to them. They will see His sacrifice, join other believers as they journey through their lives in this world, and come to understand that they are worth the life of God’s own Son. Once grasped, this truth can carry them through even the most difficult and trying circumstances and times.

I believe that any time spent reading the Bible is time well spent. You can waste your time watching a movie or reading a book that, at the end, doesn’t make any difference in your life. If what you’re doing doesn’t change you in some way, for the better, I say, “move on.” This book will not only carry you through the Bible in a year, it will also open Scripture to you in ways you’ve never seen before. You’ll notice verses hidden between the lines, so to speak. And I believe that time spent in God’s Word will draw you closer to Him. That’s my goal: Drawing people to God by the Word.

Will it answer all your questions? No, but it will introduce you to the One who knows the answers. Will it address every issue? No, but you will meet the God who is bigger than every issue that will come into your life.

Linda: I know you also write historical and traditional suspense and have been published in many publications. Where can readers learn more about you and perhaps purchase your book, Transformation?

Donna: The book is available on Amazon.com: http://amzn.to/2ci5Xqq You can purchase it in print or ebook. Readers can also connect with me at www.DonnaSchlachter.com where they can learn about new releases, preorders, and presales, as well as check out featured authors, book reviews, and a little corner of peace. Plus: Receive 2 free ebooks simply for signing up for our free newsletter! They can also check out my blog at www.DonnaSchlachter.com/blog and see previous blog posts at www.HiStoryThruTheAges.wordpress.com and www.AllBettsAreOff.wordpress.com

Filed Under: BOOKS, faith, God's Word, Interviews, Knowing God, New Years, Time with God, Uncategorized Tagged With: author interview, Bible, faith, Goal Setting, New Directions

New Year’s Choices – Which Way Will I Go?

December 31, 2022 by Linda Rooks 4 Comments

An arrow going both directions, requiring choices AT THE START of each New Year we find ourselves in a different place than the year before. While some things are the same, others have changed. Over the course of our life, a metamorphosis takes place with each year adding and subtracting. But we hardly notice the changes from one day to the next. Change comes gradually.

Some of the change is due to natural physical progression, like getting older and children growing up. Other change results from unexpected calamity that rocks our world, or unexpected, hoped-for blessings that give us wings of joy.

But some of this change involves our own choices . . . some big, some small. In Robert Frost’s famous poem, “The Road Not Taken,” the poem concludes with:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

Each choice we make—even the little ones—causes our path to diverge ever so slightly.

New Year’s Resolutions

This is the time of year for New Year’s resolutions, the time of the year when many of us assess where we’ve been and where we want to go. Sometimes we tend to make resolutions that are a little hard to attain or just out of reach. But more accurately, we can regard this as a time of choices and setting goals. With new beginnings come new opportunities. As you clear the slate of this past year and look ahead to a new one, what will you choose to do? How will your path diverge from where you are now?

As you begin this new year, I encourage you to ask for God’s guidance in making the choices that will lead you into the year ahead. To help with this, I’ve provided a goal setting guide with scriptures that can help you think and pray through each area of your life and develop practical ways to reach the objectives you establish for the year ahead. I invite you to print them out so you can keep them where you can continue to pray over them throughout the year.

If you set goals or resolutions last year, how did it turn out? What will you do differently this year?

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

IV. CAREER GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Prov. 16:3

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“…be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:23-24

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb. 13:16

VII. SPIRITUAL GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

Robert Frost – The Road not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

If you have seen big changes in your marriage this year and need to find direction on the road to take from here, I encourage you to check out my two books for those whose marriages are in a troubled place. Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, will help your heart find healing so you are stronger and able to make wise choices on the road ahead. Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated gives you the tools that can help you make positive choices that help restore your marriage.

From Heart Talk by Linda W. Rooks

Filed Under: Christmas, Goals and Resolutions, New Directions, New Years, Uncategorized Tagged With: Choices, Christmas, Decisions, New Years Resolutions, seeking answers

Instead of Resolutions . . .

December 29, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

INSTEAD OF MAKING RESOLUTIONS this year by looking back at what’s past, let’s look to the future and the good that can come from everything we’ve learned. Instead of making resolutions to just be better, let’s shed the remnants of 2020 and 2021 and move ahead into new opportunities for growth, health, and relationships.

It’s time for a fresh start. What are your hopes for the coming year? What are your aspirations? What are your dreams?

While looking through the seven areas of your life listed below, please read the accompanying scripture and allow the Lord to speak to your heart about all He’d like you to do in 2022 in each specific area. Then think of the practical steps you can take to reach that goal. Instead of resolutions, let’s surrender our hearts to God and let Him give us new perspectives on the possibilities that lay ahead. With God’s help we can make 2022 our best year yet.

GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL ASPIRATIONS

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY ASPIRATIONS

Practical Steps for Achieving:

IV. CAREER OBJECTIVES

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Prov. 16:3

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“…be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:23-24

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb. 13:16

VII. SPIRITUAL ASPIRATIONS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“Look, I am making everything new!” (Rev. 21:5 NLT).

If you are struggling to understand how to move ahead in 2022 because of problems in your marriage or family, I encourage you to check out my latest award-winning book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

Filed Under: Goals and Resolutions, New Directions, New Years, Uncategorized Tagged With: Goal Setting, Making changes, New Directions, New Years, Resolutions

Women, Do You Know How to Fight for and Save Your Marriage?

February 10, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Photo by Kristina V

STORIES CAN SOMETIMES BE A BETTER TEACHING TOOL than mere words of instruction. So today, for you women who want to save your marriage, I want to tell you the story of Wendy. This is a sad story, but sometimes sad stories can show us the way to happier endings.

When Wendy’s husband left, her world fell apart. She never saw it coming. Her husband had been a loving and caring provider. Now suddenly, he said he was leaving. Her mind spun in confusion as she watched him pack up his things. Her heart raced.

“Where are you going?” she asked. “Why are you doing this?”

He shook his head and nuzzled the head of their dog, then headed toward the door.

She grabbed his arm. “I don’t understand. Why are you leaving? When are you coming back?”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. I need a break.”

As he reached for the door handle, tears began streaming down her face. “I can’t believe you’re doing this! Why are you leaving? Where are you going?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll give you a call.” The door closed firmly behind him and soon she heard the car engine roar to life. From the window, she watched his truck pull out of the driveway and head down the street. Wendy stood watching for a moment in shock, then collapsed on the couch.

For the next several days, Wendy walked around like one of the living dead. Her mind was in a fog. She was heartbroken. She called a couple of her friends. They were shocked too, but didn’t know what to say. She called her husband on the phone, hoping he would explain, but his answers were vague and unsettling. She suggested counseling, but he said he couldn’t do it right now. He wouldn’t know what to say.

With the shock and heartbreak of her husband’s sudden departure, Wendy’s reactions were very normal at this point.

But after the initial pain, she had a choice. What direction would she take from this point forward?

A Wrong Direction

Wendy could not push back the pain of her emotions and they began to spiral out of control. Her mind spun in every direction with fears, anger, regrets. For days she’d lie in bed, too depressed to even get up to dress and comb her hair or take calls from friends who wanted to help. The best she could do was nibble on some crackers, feed the dog and let him out in the backyard when he needed to go outside. She could think of nothing except the terrible pain her husband was causing her, and as her emotions changed from day to day—sometimes from hour to hour—she called her husband. Sometimes she called to beg him to come home, other times she sobbed on the phone, asking what was to become of her. More than once, she sent long texts lashing out at him, accusing him, berating him, telling him what a terrible person he was.

“How can you do this to me? How can you treat me this way!” she asked. She called mutual friends and asked them to call too.

Finally, one of Wendy’s friends suggested she take a class at church for those whose marriages were in crisis. Wendy went, and for the first time, she experienced hope.

A New Opportunity

She was told if she wanted to save her marriage, “you need to give your husband space – to put your husband on the back burner and focus on God.” Leaders told her to pray for her husband, say positive things to him when they had contact, and refrain from criticizing him. This was a time for her to put aside all expectations from her husband and simply be a giving, positive friend to him. She was even encouraged to take care of herself and do things she enjoyed without her husband. The other women in her group were dealing with similar situations, and she found the group atmosphere to be encouraging.

She began doing many of the things she was told to do, and her husband began to respond in positive ways. He even began dropping by the house on occasion, admitting to her that he still loved her but felt suffocated by her neediness.

She tried to put into practice the things they talked about in her class, but it was hard. In fact, one thing she just couldn’t do. The women were told to “let go” of their spouses, not to expect anything from them, and trust God with their emotions. She just didn’t understand how to do this. She loved her husband. She wanted him back. She wanted him to love her. She couldn’t let go of him and tell God she would be alright if her husband didn’t come back. She knew for a fact that she wouldn’t be alright if her husband didn’t come back. She needed her husband in her life. Yes, God was good and powerful, but He wasn’t a substitute for her husband. She couldn’t take a chance on letting go of her husband.

One evening her husband came over to visit, but instead of focusing on her and talking with her, all he did was play with their golden retriever. Her initial pain of abandonment returned. Self-pity took hold. But instead of taking her feelings to God to lay the pain at his feet, she just couldn’t keep from saying what was on her mind. “You love the dog more than me,” she complained to her husband.

Her husband didn’t respond but continued playing with the dog.

Although Wendy knew the importance of letting go and keeping things positive when she spent time with her husband, once again her emotions pulled her off balance. She couldn’t resist expressing her dissatisfaction with her husband’s lack of attention. The need for her husband’s love and affirmation held her hostage to her emotions. Her neediness was driving him away. Surrendering her pain to God would have released her from her obsession, providing God the opportunity to breathe a new sense of freedom, love, and commitment into her husband’s heart. But she couldn’t let go and slowly lapsed back into her former pattern of accusing him and pleading with him to come home.

Eventually, her husband stopped coming by. He went days without returning calls and texts. Her broken heart lay in pieces as the relationship slowly ebbed away.

Doesn’t Have To Be This Way if You Want to Save Your Marriage

I hate these sad endings because I know there’s a better way. If you want to save your marriage, the answers lay in the hands of our loving Father. He has a plan for us. He knows where our path will lead. He knows our needs and the needs of our partners. And He can put it all together. But we have to trust Him. We have to lay it all at His feet. We need to surrender our spouses, our marriages, our circumstances, to Him and let Him take control. Then we need to step back, wait, and trust Him for His timing while staying tuned for His voice and following His lead when He tells us to act. While we wait, He will build us up and give us His strength so we are stronger than we were before, strong enough to handle whatever comes our way. Isaiah 40:31 assures us, “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

There’s another story with a happier ending I invite you to read as well. A true story I posted on Heart Talk in the past . . . the story of Marta. If you want to see a story of success, a story where the woman took the right path, surrendered her marriage to God, and ended up restoring her marriage, Marta’s story is a story that will encourage you as you take steps to save your own marriage..

Yes, unfortunately, we need to acknowledge the fact that our marriages may not survive. We may not be able to save our marriage. Our spouses’ heart may not turn back. God allows them to have free will and make their own decisions. But when placing our situations in the hands of our loving Father, He will make all things new for us and give us a new beginning—either with our partner or by taking us down a new and equally fulfilling road that He prepares for us when we continue to follow His lead.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope ad a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

Next week: The Challenge of Letting Go

If you want to save your marriage, I encourage you to get my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. It will walk you step by step through the labyrinths of this difficult journey so you can find the happy ending you are looking for.

Filed Under: Divorce, Expectations, faith, Fear, Hope, How to win, Letting go, Marital separation, marriage, Marriage problems, New Years, Reconciliation, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: divorce, faith, fear, Feeling lost, hope, marital reconciliation, marital separation, Marriage, marriage in crisis, New Directions, troubled marriage, what to do

Planning Ahead in 2021

December 30, 2020 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Photo by Jude Beck

As we happily throw away last year’s calendar and move on from 2020, it’s time to go to God and seek direction for 2021.

The grand plans we had for 2020 may have gone awry when the pandemic hit, but we can use it as a good reminder of what scripture tells us in Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” We don’t know what the future holds, but as Christians we know Who holds the future. We can make our resolutions. We can make our plans. But only as we give them to God will God’s best for us succeed.

So let’s include God as we set our goals for 2021.

The Goal Setting Guide below provides an opportunity to set goals in seven areas of your life. As you think over the past year and look ahead to the future, I encourage you to read the accompanying scriptures and pray over how God may be leading you in 2021.

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL GOALS

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

IV. CAREER GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Prov. 16:3

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“…be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:23-24

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb. 13:16

VII. SPIRITUAL GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

If you are struggling to understand how to move ahead in 2021 because of problems in your marriage or family, I encourage you to check out my latest award-winning book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

Filed Under: Covid, disappointment, Expectations, Goals and Resolutions, How to win, marriage, New Directions, New Years, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: Goal Setting, hard times, hope, New Directions, New Years Resolutions, seeking answers, what to do

My Word for 2020

January 19, 2020 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Photo by Ben White

Have you chosen a “word” for the year 2020?

Each New Year many people choose a word to give them focus and inspiration for the year ahead. Often, it’s a word to motivate them with a theme, a new direction, a filter for decision making, or a word that lifts their spirits.

This year, I decided to focus on a word that is more self-improvement in nature to fine-tune the way I communicate with my husband. That word is “tone.”

Have you ever said something to your spouse that seems perfectly innocent, only to receive a negative reaction that catches you completely by surprise? “Why did that make him angry or annoyed? Why is she so upset? I only said . . . . . (fill in the blank.)

I’ve become more and more aware lately of how my tone of voice can distort my intended meaning in conversations with my husband. Sometimes my tone becomes elevated (a nice way of saying “louder” or “higher”.) Other times the added emphasis I put on a certain word sends an unintended message of displeasure.

Take the question, “Why did you do that?” Consider the following differences in how this simple question can be interpreted depending on the tone of voice.

Perhaps you are working on a project together. You are struggling to get something right when your partner switches direction and does it differently. You’re not sure what he is trying to do. And you say, “Hmmm. Why did you do that?” An honest question, looking for an honest answer.

But if you’re inwardly questioning his decision to switch directions, you might say it in one of the following ways:

Why did you do THAT?

Why DID you do that?

W-H-Y did you do THAT?

Why did you DO that?

Or simply, Why did you do that?”

Or, if he/she did something different that created a mess, you might say it this way. WHY DID YOU DO THAT? (yelling.)

The words are the same, but the tone of voice makes a difference in the way your spouse perceives what you say, and a difference in the way he or she may respond to you. Tone of voice can make the words sound angry, sarcastic, whining, arrogant, disrespectful, belittling, irritable, nagging, annoyed and more. And that difference can create tension and discord between you. You may find yourselves arguing –- not about a difference of opinion—but about the perception one of you has about the intentions of the other –- because of your tone of voice.

My husband and I have realized in recent weeks that tone of voice can sometimes stir up negative feelings or even conflict between us. I might think he sounds irritable even though his words are innocent. And in other instances, he hears disapproval in my tone of voice even though my actual words don’t convey that message at all. One of the silliest mind-sets, shared by both my husband and myself is that neither of us wants to cause stress or inconvenience to the other, and when we think we have, we can sometimes sound defensive.

For instance, I am writing this late at night. Since my husband was asleep, I shut my office door so I wouldn’t awaken him. Consequently, when he poked his head in the door a few minutes ago and said, “Hi,” I immediately thought I woke him up.

I quickly turned toward him and asked, “Why are you up?” I was annoyed at myself for having possibly awakened him, but my tone of voice may have implied I was annoyed with him. Actually, I didn’t wake him up at all. He was thirsty and wanted a drink. See how silly conflicts can begin? Fortunately, I think I was more aware of my tone of voice than he was—since that’s my focus word for the year—so all is good. But that is an example of how it can begin.

So in 2020, I intend to think about “tone.” That is my word. What unintended message do my words convey because of my tone of voice? How can I modify my voice so it conveys love and respect without allowing fleeting emotions to warp my words? I want my speech to be soothing and uplifting, encouraging and respectful. Being aware of my tone of voice can hopefully make that happen.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” And Proverbs 16:24 reminds us that, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

If you struggle with this as well, you might want to join me in praying this prayer from Psalm 141:3. “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, Keep watch over the door of my lips.”

What is your word for the year? I’d love to hear about it.

* * *

If you are struggling through a rough time in your marriage and your spouse is unresponsive to your efforts to make things better, check out my award winning new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. Although a true separation happens when you and your spouse live in separate households, some separations also take place within the same residence. This book can help in either case.

Filed Under: Conflict, How to win, Love, marriage, Marriage problems, mistakes, New Years, Uncategorized Tagged With: communication, conflicts, marital reconciliation, Marriage, marriage in crisis, seeking answers, troubled marriage, word for the year

Love & Care For The One and Only You – Interview with Author Michelle Medlock Adams

January 6, 2016 by Linda Rooks 5 Comments

As you shrug off the last vestiges of 2015 and walk into a new year, many of you are asking yourselves what lies ahead and how you should approach the new challenges. Sometimes the first thing to do is simply start where you are—with you. Michelle Medlock Adams wants to help you begin that journey through her book, Love & Care For The One and Only You by providing inspiration that will help you face your tomorrows with health, hope, and confidence.

Michelle is an award-winning journalist, speaker, and best-selling author, earning top honors from the Associated Press, the Society of Professional Journalists and the Hoosier State Press Association. Author of over 70 books, her book, Divine Stories of the Yahweh Sisterhood, was named a Family Christian Bookstores Premiere Pick in 2006. I’m so pleased to be able to start off 2016 by interviewing someone whom I believe can give you a positive and practical focus for launching into the New Year.

Linda: If you had to summarize what your book, Love & Care For The One and Only You is about in just a few words, what phrase would you use?

Michelle: Striving for progress, not perfection.

Linda: Sounds like something we can all happily relate to. Elaborate on that, would you?

Michelle: Of course. I believe when we accept the fact that we’ll never be perfect, it’s so freeing. It’s true, we will probably never have that perfect supermodel physique, but we are perfectly loved by Almighty God! Once I realized that truth and began striving for progress, not perfection, I could celebrate the little goals I was achieving on this health and fitness journey. That brought joy to the journey, and that changed everything for me. I believe it will change everything for those who read my book, as well.

Linda: What prompted you to write Love & Care For The One and Only You?

Michelle: Well, when I was in journalism school at Indiana University, I was always taught to “Write what you know,” and I know the struggle is real when it comes to achieving a healthy life in all areas—spirit, mind and body. But, I also know the secret lies in God. Exercise gimmicks and gadgets, diet pills and potions, and fad diet programs will all fade away, but God’s Word remains forever true and jam-packed with wisdom. I wanted to communicate those truths in a way that was non-judgmental and encouraging, and that’s why I felt compelled to write this book.

Linda: How is your book different from other health and fitness books in the marketplace?

Michelle: This is not your typical “go for the burn” “be more disciplined” “work out more, eat less” fitness book. This is an inspirational devotional that encourages women to become the best version of themselves; to strive for progress, not perfection; and to live a happier, healthier life. I want women who read my book to realize that they are precious to God and that their lives matter, which is why they need to become healthy and whole to fulfill their individual callings. Whether a stay-at-home mom or a businesswoman, we can accomplish more and be happier if we’re spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy. Women shouldn’t just go through the motions of life exhausted, but rather enjoy every day life empowered!

Linda: I so agree with you there! I know you’ve written more than 70 books—many specifically for women—is your latest book similar to any of your other devotionals for women?

Michelle: Love & Care For The One and Only You is probably most similar to my 60-day devotionals (Barbour) called, Secrets of Happiness and Secrets of Beauty. However, Love & Care For The One And Only You is my first inspirational title about becoming spiritually, emotionally and physically fit.

Linda: How did your personal background/experiences prepare you for the writing of this book?

Michelle: My personal background plays into the writing of this book because I have always been and am currently a certified fitness instructor. I love helping women get healthy! And, I love encouraging others—whether that’s through personal training, speaking at churches and women’s events, or through the words in my books. Plus, I am in the trenches with these readers! I’ve battled self-esteem issues much of my life, and I know how the devil works, whispering in our ears that we’re not good enough. But I also know that through His Word, we can be confident that we are more than enough! That we are conquerors! That we are the head and not the tail! That we are the apple of God’s eye! That we are empowered and able to do all things through Christ Jesus! And, that our Heavenly Father treasures us!

Linda: Who is this book for, specifically?

Michelle: Love & Care For The One And Only You is written for women who are discouraged, disgusted and disillusioned by the supermodel fitness expert offering weight-loss and exercise advice. Like me, they have probably tried and failed at numerous “fool-proof diet plans” and started and quit more exercise programs than they care to admit. They are busy with endless responsibilities. They want to eat better and live a healthier life but many have given up.

My book is for successful business women, moms, grandmoms and women who have been subjected to fitness programs and diet plans that required so much and gave back so little. Unrealistic expectations, ridiculous and restrictive rules, and unattainable goals may have left many of my readers without hope, without vision, and without a workable solution. My message is one of hope, vision and workable solutions, equipping them with the power tools it takes to become healthier spiritually, emotionally and physically. I know these readers because I am one of these readers. I’ve lived it. I’ve learned it, and now I’m sharing it with the other women who desperately need faith, hope and fitness.

Linda: How does caring for yourself contribute to resolving relationship issues?

Michelle: You know, I believe that when we get healthy—spiritually, physically and mentally—we become better in every area including our relationships. Personally speaking, when I feel better about myself, I am more apt to try new things and be more engaging and adventurous in life. I am just happier and more fun to be around, which in turn, makes my spouse happier. In addition, getting healthy can be a great way to bond with your significant other. I speak about that in my book, actually. My hubby of 24 years, Jeff, and I love to go on walks together and hit the gym as a couple. We also love to cook together, trying out new healthy recipes side by side. He’s actually a better cook than I am, but don’t tell him I admitted that, haha. (There are healthy recipes included in my book!) We achieve healthy goals together, and we celebrate those achievements together which makes them even more meaningful.

Linda: Are there times when caring for yourself can actually have a detrimental effect on relationships? Can we overdo the idea of caring for self?

Michelle: I think we can overdo anything in life and it can become detrimental. If we become too self-absorbed, then that can definitely be a negative in our relationships with God and with our families. It’s really all about your mindset. If you’re simply working out and eating healthy so that you can fit into your skinny jeans and feel hot, then your mindset isn’t where it should be. Fitting into your skinny jeans and feeling good about yourself are certainly benefits from making healthy choices but they shouldn’t be your sole motivation. Caring for ourselves is vital so that we can better care for (and enjoy) those precious people in our lives, as well as fulfill our destinies here on earth. If we are too tired or feel too awful in our bodies, then we won’t have the energy to fulfill all that God has for us to do in this lifetime.

Linda: Any parting words?

Michelle: I so wish I could physically be there to go on this health and wellness journey with each of the ladies who picks up my book, but it’s the next best thing. I’ve prayed over this book, and I so believe it’s from the heart of God. Lastly, if you’ve talked yourself into thinking that the status quo is as good as it gets, I’m here to tell you that is not the case. You can be happier, stronger and healthier in 2016, and you can enjoy the journey! I just want my sisters out there to go into this New Year excited and encouraged.

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your books?

Michelle: You can learn more on my website at www.michellemedlockadams.com

Filed Under: BOOKS, Feeling unworthy, Goals and Resolutions, health, Hope, How to win, Interviews, New Directions, New Years, Uncategorized Tagged With: author interview, confidence, Goal Setting, health, New Directions

A New Year and New Beginnings

December 31, 2013 by Linda Rooks 3 Comments

New Beginnings in 2014

The New Year provides a wonderful opportunity to consider new beginnings, particularly when we are going through a period of change. Usually at the start of a new year, we think about making resolutions and setting goals. Maybe it’s to lose 15 pounds, take 20 minute walks each day, or have regular devotions. Unfortunately, however, they are usually short-lived. By March, we’ve probably forgotten what they were as the more urgent matters inhabiting our everyday life gobble up those good intentions.

When we are experiencing life changes in one or more areas of our life, however, the New Year is the perfect time to sit down with the Lord and scope out the months and days ahead. As we lean on God to guide us in setting prayerful objectives for ourselves by setting short and long-term goals, He can help us step more boldly into the New Year and embrace the plan He has designed very specifically for us.

To start the process, I’ve provided a goal setting guide with scriptures that can help you think and pray through each area of your life and develop practical ways to reach the objectives you and the Lord establish for the year ahead. I invite you to print them out so you can keep them in a place where you will continue to pray over them throughout the year.

I pray that as you set aside this time to ask God for His wisdom in approaching the coming year and establishing new beginnings, you will walk into a 2014 that brings you joy and new revelations of God’s goodness.

Goal Setting for 2014

I. PERSONAL GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

IV. CAREER GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Prov. 16:3

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“…be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:23-24

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb. 13:16

VII. SPIRITUAL GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

Filed Under: Goals and Resolutions, New Directions, New Years, Uncategorized

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

New Year’s Resolutions

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL ASPIRATIONS

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS

III. FAMILY ASPIRATIONS

IV. CAREER OBJECTIVES

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

VII. SPIRITUAL ASPIRATIONS:

Goal Setting for 2014

I. PERSONAL GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

III. FAMILY GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

IV. CAREER GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

VII. SPIRITUAL GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

Beyond Our Imagination

Sign up for Heart Talk & Receive My Blog by Email

Contact Linda

Archives

Categories

Latest from the Blog