When God Says “No”

May 15, 2019 by 15 Comments

When our world is rocked with crisis and we cry out to God, what do we do when the answer we seem to get from Him is not what we want to hear?  How do we respond when God says “no?”

Award winning author and speaker Janet McHenry has an answer for us, and I asked her to share with us her answers to this question. For in her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today, she tells us how the very prayers that Jesus prayed can teach us how to respond when we hear that disappointing “no.”

So I’m going to turn “Heart Talk” over to Janet today. If you leave a comment for Janet, I will enter your name in a drawing for her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, published by Bethany House.

When God Says “No”

by Janet McHenry

One of the toughest things to handle as a Christian is how to respond when God says “No.”

We know that every prayer for healing is not answered.

Every prayer to be saved from bankruptcy is not answered.

Every prayer to save a marriage is not answered.

So . . . what are we to believe about prayer in those contexts? And what are we to believe about God?

After all, didn’t God say in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you”?

In Psalm 37:4 God says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

And Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:23-24).

Yes, God answers all prayers in some way. Pastor and author Rick Warren has said, “God answers every single prayer. Now, he doesn’t answer them the way you’d like it every time, but it’s an answer. ‘No” is an answer. ‘Wait” is an answer. ‘Grow up’ is an answer. ‘In a little while’ is an answer. ‘In my way’ is an answer. God never leaves a prayer unanswered.”

So, okay, technically the answer was “no” . . . there was an answer, but how do we reconcile that no answer with the earlier scripture promises about fulfilling our heart’s desires and such? And then how do we as Christians respond?

Because I always turn to Jesus as my prayer mentor, I searched how he responded when the Father said “no” to him.

Jesus prayed what I called the two-sided coin prayer in one of my books many years ago: “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

On the one side of the coin: “Take this cup from me.”

On the other side of the coin: “Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

So, Jesus laid out his heart’s desire . . . and his Abba, his Father, said “no” . . . and Jesus headed to the Cross.

The next three of Jesus’s prayers, I believe, spell out how we can respond as Christians when we don’t see our prayers answered the way we’d like. These are the last three of Jesus’s ten prayers that we have—and all of them he said as he was hanging on the Cross.

Forgive 

The first of those three prayers is “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). So the first thing we can do is forgive.

Jesus was forgiving the soldiers who had nailed him to the Cross, but perhaps he also was forgiving Pontius Pilate and the Jewish officials and even Peter, who had denied him, and the rest of the disciples, who had vanished.

Years ago my rancher husband had seven cattle that died in a two-day blizzard. Six calves and an old bull had bedded down in a dry creek bed and gotten covered over. Despite those conditions, Craig was convicted of six felony animal abuse charges four years later. Because the judge refused to allow our key witness to testify—a UC Davis vet professor, the chief expert in the West on cattle—and refused to have a lot of important evidence admitted, we won a reversal in the California Court of Appeals, but we had a lot of forgiving to do. That case took six years out of our lives, as well as a lot of financial resources. But forgiveness isn’t about what we deserve; it’s kingdom work, and it’s what Jesus did, so we do it in obedience.

Lament 

The second thing we can do when God says “no” is lament. Lament means to cry out mournfully. And Jesus’s second prayer continues to give us insight about how to respond: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:45-46).

Yes, go ahead and cry it out. God can take it. Not complain. But cry out in your pain.

This prayer above all others addresses the biggest, most-often asked question mankind has about God. WHY? Why does God allow suffering? Why must we fall into the hellholes of life? If God loves us so much, wouldn’t such a loving Father steer us around the intersections of pain? Couldn’t there be a better way?

Jesus used the word “forsaken.” He was deserted, dumped, abandoned . . . at least he humanly felt that way. But his being abandoned led to our being adopted. Just as an abandoned baby left at a church or a firehouse might be adopted by a young couple that had been praying for years, Jesus’ abandonment, led to our adoption.

It’s true that we might not always see the purpose in our suffering. We may never. Yes, life isn’t fair. And sometimes the WHY? question gets stuck in our hearts. It hurts. But we can control how we respond.  We can use our pain for others’ good, if we stop, look around, see others who are suffering in similar ways, and reach out to them to encourage and support them. We do not have to stay in that place of feeling forsaken. We can take practical steps to use our hurt to help others.

Submit  

In Jesus’s third prayer from the cross, we learn to submit. Scripture tells us “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ And when he said this, he breathed his last” (Luke 23:44-46.

“Into your hands.” Wow, that could seem like a scary prayer, except that when we commit or submit ourselves to our heavenly Father fully, we are giving ourselves to the God who redeemed us, the One who adopted us, the one who loves us.

I know such relinquishment, because I saw this through my dad. Six months after he began noticing that he was having a hard time gripping a golf club anymore, he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—ALS—which destroys the nerve endings to the muscles until eventually the person cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot count on a heartbeat.

Although the doctors said he would have two to four years, he died five months after diagnosis. However, he not only showed other people how to live with faith; he showed others how to die with faith.

My dad had a quick wit, always turning a phrase and telling jokes. Even in his last hours he was still joking with those around him. The day before he passed away, he was still able to push the call button, so he called for the nurse, who came in and said, “Did you call me, Bob?”

He smiled and said, “Why would I call you Bob? Your name is Mary.”

You see, people, the world doesn’t need to see Christians living out their faith in prosperity and posting all the happy stuff on Facebook. They need to see us facing struggles with dignity, with faith, and with integrity. They need to see us thanking God despite our pain and struggles. They need to see us real and vulnerable, yes . . . but in a looking-up posture that shows that FAITH WORKS: that God is real in our lives, that he is worthy of our trust, and that it is our faith alone that sustains us in the Dark Night of the Soul.

Jesus’ prayers teach us how to respond when God says “no”: forgive, lament, and submit. But they show us something even more important: the ONE THING we need to remember about prayer. God himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to bring our needs before him. He wants us to offer praise and thanksgiving and confession, but even more than that, HE himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to develop our relationship with him, to be a bigger part of our daily, moment-by-moment life, drawing closer to him and learning more about his good character.

Prayer is not about finding pockets of time to say a few remote-controlled phrases. Prayer is about relationship—becoming closer to the One who created you and loves you, so that when God says “no,” you simply nod your head and know he still loves you, he is still in control, and he will walk you through the valley you’re in.

If you’d like a chance to receive a free copy of The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It will Change Your Life Today, please leave a comment below.

* * *

Janet McHenry is an award-winning speaker and the author of 24 books, including the best-selling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today. You can see more about Janet, her speaking ministry, and her books at www.janetmchenry.com.

 

 

 

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When New Life Appears

May 8, 2019 by 5 Comments

This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord. Ezekiel 37:5, 6b

When the city arborist stopped by to tell us they had received a grant to plant new trees in our neighborhood, we were delighted. We would receive two Shumard oaks, hearty ones that would grow tall and had a long life span, unlike our pretty laurel oaks that suffered so much in recent hurricanes.

The city planted the oaks, and someone came by regularly to pour water into the irrigation sacks around their trunks. However, a few weeks later the leaves on one of them started turning brown. Before long all the foliage on the tree appeared dead.

One evening when we went out for a walk, Marv said, “I wonder if they’ll take that tree out and bring us a new one,”

“Maybe we should call the city and let them know it’s dead,” I said. “It apparently never got a strong start.”

Each day we speculated about its prospects but didn’t make any calls, and the tree remained.

One morning Marv announced that a city truck came by and the driver again watered our new tree. We shook our heads and wondered why they were still watering a tree that was clearly dead. A few days later, however, when we stepped outside, we noticed a few green leaves at its base. The city continued watering it, and each evening as we went out to take our walk, we were astonished to see new life appear as green leaves continued to spread from the bottom to the top. In a few weeks, the entire tree was green once more. Our new Shumard oak was alive and growing.

“It’s amazing how that tree has come back to life,” Marv said. “You should use it in one of your stories. It would be a good analogy for marriages.”

When New Life Appears in a Marriage

It was, in fact, a good analogy for what had happened in our own marriage. For although at one time our marriage seemed dead, we gradually saw new life appear.

I remembered an afternoon thirteen years earlier at the beginning of what was to become our painful three-year separation. At this point, Marv and I hadn’t seen each other for two months, and the Christian couple he was staying with urged him to come talk to me. When I saw him at the door, I hoped it would be the beginning of reconciliation, but his downcast face quickly told me otherwise.

He slumped in the burgundy club chair he always sat in when we had our “talks.” I sat on the couch.

“I can’t tell you anything you want to hear,” he said dolefully.

My heart withered. I knew that meant he couldn’t say he loved me. I knew that meant he couldn’t say he wanted to reconcile our marriage. But, being a gentleman, he didn’t want to say the words. He didn’t want to hurt me more than he already had.

But I knew. The absence of words told me the ones left unsaid.

I plied him with questions, but he remained expressionless, and his answer stayed the same. When he left, I ran upstairs and collapsed on the bed, sobbing. I could see he felt our marriage was dead.

But like the Shumard oak, even though our marriage appeared to be dead, unbeknownst to either of us, a flicker of life still lingered.

As the months unfolded, each of us began allowing God to convict us of what we individually needed to do to change the dynamics between us. It took time, patience, and grace. But when we gave God the freedom to make us the new persons He wanted us to be, we began to see new life appear in our relationship. Our love returned, and we eventually reconciled.

A New Foundation of Love

Some time after we got back together, a sweet moment signaled that a new foundation of love had finally been rebuilt between us. I had removed the biscuits from the oven, placed the cookie sheet on the stove top, and begun placing the plump rolls onto the serving dish. The rich aroma of pot roast filled the kitchen. Feeling movement behind me, I turned.

Marv’s eyes sparkled as he looked at me. He leaned down and kissed me. “I love you,” he said warmly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he held me tight. “I’m glad to be spending my life with you,” he said.

My heart danced as I gazed happily into his eyes. “Me too.”

Although the words “I love you” were common between us now, the spontaneous gesture gave them special meaning. No longer did the debris of brokenness dull the luster of our renewed relationship. The past hurts had scattered. The empty hole had filled. Our love was truly reborn. Twenty years and five grandchildren after that heart-wrenching day in our living room, life is as good as I could ever have hoped.

Marv tells the men in our marriage classes every week, “Feelings change. Don’t make your decisions based on feelings because they’re unreliable and they change.”

We are living examples. Marriages that appear to be dead can indeed be reborn. Many times people come to us saying the love in their marriage has died. However, when God is given the freedom to work in each of their lives, He can open their hearts to one another so green leaves of new life can begin to sprout.

When new life appears in a marriage it is a testimony to the promise of new life God gives to us both through nature and His Word. His power to bring life from death rocked the world 2,000 years ago and continues to rock the world today.

Share your heart. How can God make things new in your life?

© Linda Rooks 2019

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated available on Amazon and other online retailers

Listen to Marv and Linda’s story in a three-part series on Family Life Today as they both share from the heart about their separation and restoration.

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Filed Under: Divorce, Doubt, Hope, Marital separation, marriage, Marriage problems, New Directions, Reconciliation, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

They Say . . . “What?”

February 8, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Not long ago I read an article in the Wall Street Journal that debunked everything we’ve all believed about what is nutritious and what is not for the past 30 or 40 years.  I was appalled. This was scientific certainty.  Everyone agreed on it.  There had been scientific studies.  How could I now be reading an article that said exactly the opposite from what we’ve all assumed to be right for all this time?

At breakfast, I reasserted my confusion. “I don’t know what to use in my cooking now,” I said to my husband. “I don’t know what is healthy and what is not.  They’ve always said . . . .”

“Who is they?” he said.  “They say this. They say that.  But then it all changes.”  “They change.” Even who we consider to be experts – that changes too. “

I said, “Yes, I guess there’s only one thing that we can always count on as being true: God’s Word in the Bible. It doesn’t change.”

As I thought about his comment and my response, I realized how that applied to all of life. It’s so easy for us to rely on common beliefs, the current thinking about something, scientific findings, and “what they say . . . .”

But there is only one thing we can always count on as being true, and that is God and His Word.  When we see one kind of truth coming from the world and another truth coming from God’s Word, which one should we believe?

Even the evidence in archaeological findings triumphs over doubters and attests to the truth of God’s Word. In the early 20th century, critics mistrusted the Bible’s historical reliability, regarding much of the Bible as myth. But little by little, archaeologists began to discover cities and artifacts that proved the existence of previously disputed biblical accounts and locations. The Hittite Empire, referenced 40 times in the Bible, was generally considered a myth by critics until 1906 when Hugo Winckler uncovered 10,000 clay tablets that documented the lost Hittite Empire. With each new revelation, critics were forced to seriously reevaluate their criticism of the Bible’s historical reliability.

Whether it is about morality, how to live life, who God is, history, or even science, the Bible trumps the world’s wisdom.  The world with its changing theories, beliefs, histories, morals, and philosophies cannot be depended on. If we build our life on those alone, we may come to a point when we look back and see that we have built our life on sand and much of our life has been fruitless.  But if we build our life on the rock of God’s truth, everything we build upon that rock will stand, and when we enter the kingdom of God one day, we will hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. 48 They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49 But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete” (Luke 6:47-49).

Anytime we are tempted to start relying on the world’s experts to guide us through life, we can add a little levity to our perspective by watching the video below to remind ourselves of the unreliability of “they.”  Sometimes we just need to laugh at ourselves and what we rely on as truth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ua-WVg1SsA

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When Christmas Loses It’s Sparkle

December 13, 2018 by 2 Comments

CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON. Bright lights sparkle on houses in your neighborhood. Joyous refrains stream throughout department stores and across the airwaves. Everywhere you see Christmas trees, Santa Clauses, and signs that say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. But for some of you, the words Merry Christmas have a hollow ring to them this year. Your heart is heavy with the idea of how you will even “get through” Christmas, let alone make it merry. Things are different this year. And it’s hard.

The Christmas we’re used to is full of sparkle and laughter. It’s always been a time of fun and celebration. But when gloom hangs over our lives and questions about the future occupy our minds, we may actually find it easier to peer more closely into the reality of the Christmas we celebrate. For when we put aside the glamor of the holidays, we can travel back to how it really all began—before the sparkle, before the happy music, before the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping.

There was hustle and bustle on that day, but not of people shopping; it was the descending of large numbers of people upon a small town, all trying to find the basic comforts of a place to stay and something to eat. We see a young woman, nine months pregnant riding a donkey. Can you imagine riding 80 miles on a donkey when you are nine months pregnant? And when she was ready to deliver her baby, who was the Son of the eternal God, she couldn’t even find a decent place to stay. Imagine having to deliver your baby in a smelly stable! And that is how God came to us – not in a convenient, clean, easy way, but through difficult circumstances. No warm, fine bed for Mary, the mother of God, no fragrant rooms, no support of family and friends who were far away and may have even questioned her virtue and the conception of this baby. No, God came to us in the midst of doubt, confusion, political unrest, and physical hardship. When God sent his Son to be born on this earth, he didn’t clear an easy path for him. He didn’t have a room waiting in Bethlehem. It was hard.

And, oftentimes, that is the way God still comes to us.  In the distractions of active lives, we are often too busy to notice God’s presence. We may have thought we had everything figured out ourselves – that we’d surely find a room in Bethlehem.  We never expected to have to stay in a smelly stable.  We still can’t figure out why things have turned out the way they have.

But, cradled on a bed of hay, in the middle of the odors and pain, we see a tiny baby, the gift of God’s love. It was the first time God was visible to mankind. And in the midst of the difficulties of your life, God has come to show you himself. It is sometimes only when these other things are stripped away that our eyes are fully opened and we see beyond the glitter into the glory where finally we see Christmas. Perhaps for the first time, the invisible God becomes visible in our eyes, and we see Jesus himself.

God has come to love you with a love you will not find anywhere else—not in a husband or wife, not a parent or a child or a friend. God’s love will not fail you. It is unconditional and everlasting. He will not always show you a clear, easy path to your destination. But He will be with you and guide you, and at just the right time, He may prompt the wife of an innkeeper to say, “I have a place for you. I have an answer. There’s a stable out back…”

His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than ours. He has a plan that is beyond anything we can see. When we take hold of God, we move beyond the barriers of our finite understanding into the reaches of God’s eternal purposes. Eternity is within our grasp. We become a part of His story.

Two thousand years ago, Mary and Joseph didn’t hear the refrains of Silent Night as they gathered clean straw to make a bed for Mary to bear a child; they didn’t see the picturesque setting of a child being born in a manger as they settled down among the animals. It was hard.

But God came to them in the middle of these difficult circumstances, not just for them, but for us.  Jesus was born into our world and into our lives.  And this is the Christmas we celebrate…a Christmas born in hardship, but wrapped in holiness and love, extending through all the ages of the earth into the glories and wonders of eternity.

May God’s blessings shine through the midst of your circumstances this Christmas and give you a deep joy and peace that rises high above and beyond your understanding.

 

 

 

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A Bigger Plan for Paul

July 26, 2016 by 2 Comments

arched doorwayWhen Paul, the apostle, was imprisoned in Rome I can imagine the disappointment and confusion he must have felt. Why would God let him languish in prison when the world needed to hear the good news about Jesus?

Paul’s desire was to travel around the known world, evangelizing everyone within the sound of his voice, spreading the good news of Jesus Christ.  But instead, he was sent to prison, where very few were within the sound of his voice, and all he could do was . . .

. . . write letters!

His ambition, his dream, his goal, and I’m sure his prayer was to travel to different cities in the known world so He could bring people to Christ. These were good goals. They were meant to honor and glorify God. And yet God prevented him from doing so.

Why was this?

Because God had an even bigger plan for Paul.  God wanted him to write letters to the churches, whose influence and power would extend far beyond the times in which he lived. The epistles he wrote would become the foundation for the scripture of the New Testament so later generations would reap the benefit of his wisdom and anointing.  If Paul had had his way, only one generation would have benefited from his insights and revelations. His words would have been short-lived, only reaching the ears of whomever he encountered physically.

Instead, God had a bigger plan for you and me to hear his words, so they could produce eternal, lasting fruit for centuries to come.  When God denied Paul the answer to his prayer, God was thinking of us—you and me. Although Paul would never have been able to comprehend it, God’s plan was way larger than Paul’s. His plan was perfect.

God knew what He was doing. He did then, and He does now. He always does.

We nod our heads today and look back to see this clearly in the life of Paul, but can we see it in our own lives as well?  When things don’t go the way we’d like, when our prayers aren’t answered in the way that seems logical for us, how do we react?  Do we still see God at work in our lives? Do we still acknowledge that God is a big God with plans that are above our own? Or do we fuss and complain that our prayers have gone unanswered?

I have to confess that I am writing this for myself. I am most guilty of second-guessing God.  When I write something that glorifies God, but it doesn’t get published, I ask, “Why God?”  But I fail to realize that the God I want to glorify is a God beyond my limited understanding. His ways are higher than mine. His purposes are beyond anything I can presently comprehend.

And so I need to surrender.  I need to be still and let God be God. I need to rest in His arms a little longer and let Him guide me onto the perfect path where my desires are subservient to His glory. Where His love and grace stir my heart and fuel my passion into walking wherever He leads. Maybe down known paths, maybe unknown, but perfect because they lead to His throne and His glory to fulfill His purpose.

Perhaps you, like me, need to surrender your desires, your ambitions, and your dreams to God so He can fulfill the bigger plans He has for your life, plans which are far beyond our own imaginations, plans that bring blessing to us and others in ways that only a creative God can bring about, plans that have glorious and eternal results for His glory and His kingdom.

If you want to see His bigger plans unfold in your life, please pray with me as I lift these things to God:

Everything I have is yours, God. You know how my small offerings can fit into your bigger plan, and I give them to you. Let my prayers become a sweet smelling aroma to you as you transform my desires into manna for your perfect purposes and your everlasting glory. Amen.

 

“I know the plans I have for you . . .plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth,     so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55: 8-9

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Marriage on the Mend, Healing Your Marriage after Crisis, Separation or Divorce – Interview with Co-author Penny Bragg

May 7, 2015 by 3 Comments

Marriage on the MendI am so very pleased to introduce Penny Bragg, co-author of Marriage on the Mend, Healing Your Marriage after Crisis, Separation or Divorce. Authors Penny and Clint Bragg are dear friends who have served alongside us in marriage ministry for a number of years. Every year, when we lead our Marriage 911 class, we invite Clint and Penny to share their amazing story of reconciliation with class participants, and every year their story provides new hope for couples who thought their marriages might be over.

Marriage on the Mend is a book that is long overdue to be published. While my book, Broken Heart on Hold, and others provide hope for reconciliation and strength to make it through the journey of crisis, Marriage on the Mend gives couples the tools to actually put their marriages back together, brick by brick, after they make the decision to reconcile. So I am thrilled to be able to interview Penny today.

Linda: Penny, you have an extraordinary testimony of reconciliation. After your divorce, did you ever think it would be possible to remarry each other?

Penny: Neither of us ever imagined God would reconcile our marriage. We had been divorced for over a decade and had absolutely NO contact with each other during those years. And when we say, “no contact,” we mean it. We had not spoken since the day our divorce papers were notarized citing, “Irreconcilable differences have caused the permanent breakdown of our marriage.” Once that happened, we each went our separate ways.

Early Married Life and How it All Unraveled

Linda: Were you Christians when you were married back in 1989?

Penny: Yes, we were Christians. We were married in the church and had a beautiful ceremony. However, we had no clue how to be married. We thought if we loved God and each other, that was enough. We were not mature enough in our faith to realize that we were going to have to work hard to have a good marriage. We also didn’t want to tell anyone we were struggling because we were in leadership positions in the church.

Linda: Yes, I’m afraid that can easily happen to people in leadership. Tell me though, were there specific issues that led up to your separation and divorce?

Penny: Yes, we can look back at it all now and see it so clearly. We both had a ton of baggage from our childhoods and secrets we never shared with one another. Those things seemed to subtly crawl out from under the carpet and creep in between us. We had gone on a mission trip together after our first year of marriage and when we came back, that’s when the division started. We couldn’t really put our finger on what was wrong. Clint could feel me pulling away, but we didn’t have good communication skills to work through things. He started getting worried because I was spending a lot of time away from our house and away from him. He confronted me about an affair, but I denied it.

Linda: Did you attempt to reconcile after you were separated?

Penny: I was the one who walked out. I wasn’t being honest with Clint. I was being unfaithful to him and to God. Clint tried to do all the right things to reconcile, but I would have NONE of it. The more he pursued me, the more I ran away. When he showed up unexpectedly at my workplace, I threw my wedding ring across the room at him. It was ugly. I was ugly. I closed my Bible and I closed my heart. I understand now that I had never really let Jesus heal all the wounds from my childhood and that I took out all that pain on Clint. He now understands that he was doing the same thing to me.

Reconciliation and Remarriage

Linda: I’ve heard you share your amazing story of how God started the ball of reconciliation rolling. Would you share with our readers what happened?

Penny: Unbeknownst to either of us at the time, God had paralleled our lives during our eleven years apart. But, He never allowed us to intersect. What we didn’t know was that we had both recommitted our lives to Christ after wandering our own paths away from Him. We finally let Him reach down and touch all the wounds in our hearts. I was working with a Christian counselor, trying to heal and bring closure to things in my life that I had broken through sin. The LAST thing on my list was contacting Clint, even though he should have been at the top. I was too scared after all I had done to him. I had NO intention to try and reconcile, just to heal and confess the truth to him. I also wanted to ask his forgiveness and apologize for what I had done.

Linda: The rest of the details of your incredible reconciliation are in your new book, Marriage on the Mend, right? Tell me more about your remarriage and your new book.

Penny: Yes, Marriage on the Mend—Healing Your Relationship After Crisis, Separation, or Divorce, (Kregel, 2015) contains our story. But it also covers the first five years of our remarriage to each other. Once we remarried in 2002, we had a mountain of consequences to overcome. People tend to think that you just reconcile and then cross it off your list. WRONG. Reconciliation is something we work on every day. We’ve now been remarried for almost 13 years. We’ve learned over and over again that reconciliation is not about following a recipe, it’s about following Jesus Christ. God did not allow us to have contact with each other until we had both reconciled our relationships with Him.

Tools for Reconciling

Linda: What great insight! So often, couples want to just repair the marriage itself, but until their hearts are right with God, it’s hard for them to get their hearts right with each other. What would you say are the main tools that have helped you build a strong marriage the second time around?

Penny: There are many tools that have helped us along the way. During our first remarriage conflict, God really got our attention. We didn’t want to fail at our marriage again. We were desperate for Him. We also didn’t have any counselor or books that seemed to meet our needs. But, we had both established a strong relationship with God which included meeting with Him alone daily. That is the most important thing in our remarriage that has made all the difference. In addition, we never leave the house without praying together in the morning first. We also meet together once-a-week to read the Word and pray together. Having prayer/accountability partners is another must in our marriage. Those people have permission to call us on the carpet when needed. They are our marriage advocates. We also get away with God each quarter to really talk about the deeper issues in our marriage, to seek Him together, set goals, and assess our progress. All of these tools have drastically cut down the conflict in our marriage.

Linda: What are some of the hardest issues you think couples must deal with after they reconcile?

Penny: Unforgiveness and bitterness over past mistakes seems to plague most couples who reconcile. The key is learning to accept forgiveness and reconciliation as a PROCESS…an ongoing process that takes time and effort. In addition, couples must learn a way out of the cycle or revolving door that gets them stuck in the same offense or argument over and over again. We have several tools in our book to address these issues.

Linda: Tell me about the QR codes in the book and why you wanted to integrate video into the reading experience.

Penny: As former educators in the public school system, we know how important it is to model the things that are taught. People need to see tools and concepts in action to understand how to apply them. We were thrilled when our publisher, Kregel, suggested we take all the video podcasts we had made and link them right into the book using QR codes. That way, as you read you can scan the QR code with your Smartphone or tablet and see a visual demonstration of each tool. There are 40 podcasts connected and threaded into the book. We also posted all those videos on the Internet so people can access them for free, even if they haven’t read the book. They can also be accessed through our website http://www.InverseMinistriesPodcast.org or on our Marriage on the Mend YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/MarriageontheMend

Advice for the Separated or Divorced

Linda: A number of the people reading this may be separated or divorced. What advice would you give?

Penny: Focus on strengthening your individual relationship with God daily. We designed some free resources to help you do that, including our “Give God 40 Days” devotional. We also have a resource entitled, “Do the Desert Well,” which encourages you with specific ways to allow God to change and heal your heart. Just e-mail us at reconcile@inverseministries.org and we are more than happy to send these to you. We also have a set of 40 scripture/prayer cards to deepen your prayer life. We know how painful the journey is for those who feel like their spouse or ex-spouse is showing NO signs of reconciliation. That’s why we created so many resources to walk alongside those who feel like there is no hope. If God can reconcile our marriage, He can reconcile ANY marriage!

Linda: Where can people find out more about your book?

Penny: Our website has all the information about our book including what others are saying and an informational video. http://www.InverseMinistries.org.

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Sometimes It Is Hard To Understand

August 28, 2014 by 1 Comment

Clyde and Katie on playgroundWhen our dog Katie died unexpectedly a few weeks ago while we were on vacation, we experienced a lot of sadness. Coming home, we entered a house without Katie to greet us and mourned her absence. But since Katie was almost 17 years of age—which is old for a dog—we’d known she couldn’t live forever and we’d already witnessed signs of aging. So when she passed on peacefully in her sleep, we were thankful she‘d never had to suffer. We were prepared.

But for someone else there was no preparation . . . no explanation . . . no understanding of why his friend of 10 long years was suddenly gone.
Our other dog Clyde.

Clyde and Katie had been what I called “partners in crime.” They had a relationship that spurred one another on to adventure whenever they managed to get out on their own. Clyde was the mischievous, energetic one, but Katie was the quiet explorer who nosed out new escapades and dared to explore new smells, leading them into uncharted territory—but only if she had Clyde’s spirited vigor at her side, prodding her on. Neither would go alone; only together. They’d return, of course, often covered with mud, but always looking happy at having encountered a new adventure, while meekly enduring their inevitable scolding with sheepish resignation. They were quite a pair.

So when we returned home from vacation with Clyde, he immediately began going from room to room, tail wagging, searching through the house.

Looking.

But the house was empty with no friend to greet him. For the next few days, he lingered expectantly by the door each time one of us went out, waiting for our return. During the day he moped around, head and tail down, looking dejected and gloomy. At night he slept by the front door. He didn’t eat, his usual vitality and sparkle gone.

There was no way we could explain to him what had happened, why his friend was gone. He didn’t understand, and without his having the words, the vocabulary, and the grasp of concepts beyond his comprehension, we couldn’t help him make sense of Katie’s absence. So we just loved on him as much as we could, gave him more attention, took him to the dog park, and got him together with other dog friends, hoping that he would eventually recover from his loss and recapture his previous vivaciousness. We didn’t know if he would actually forget, but hopefully, time would heal.

As I watched Clyde suffer and felt my own helplessness to make things better for him, my thoughts drifted, and I thought about us as humans and our own limited understanding.

Maybe sometimes we’re like Clyde.

When our world collapses around us and things don’t make sense, perhaps it’s simply because our own understanding is so very imperfect. We flounder around trying to figure out why we face the circumstances we do, but to no avail.

But there is Another whose mind is higher than ours, whose understanding no one can fathom. He sees it all clearly and knows us and our circumstances fully.

Even though His thoughts and ways are far beyond our understanding, He has tried to communicate with us and help us understand through His Word. But still our minds cannot fully comprehend His purposes. “Now I know in part;” says Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

God has a perspective that is higher than ours. What is a mystery to me is all too clear to Him. At such times, we need to nestle close to God, sit at His feet, and trust Him so He can love us and guide us through our confusion.

Then, like Clyde, we can eventually heal and rediscover a brand new enthusiasm for life.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9

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Interview with Kathy Collard Miller, Author of Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather

May 14, 2014 by 8 Comments

Partly Cloudy With Scattered Worries - Kathy Collard MillerWhen I scheduled this interview with Kathy Collard Miller for early May, I didn’t connect the appropriateness of her book title with our Florida weather.  But as I look out the window at the gathering clouds and intermittent rainstorms, I find the timing of my interview about her book, Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather to be extremely fitting.

I believe Kathy’s topic about worry and anxiety will resonate with many of us.  In the midst of life’s storms, how do we keep from worrying?  Speaker and author Kathy Collard Miller has an answer for us. She has published 49 books and has carried her message of hope, faith, and encouragement into eight countries throughout the world and thirty U.S. states.

I feel honored that she is sharing with us today.

Linda:  Kathy, what is really wrong with worry? What is the biggest problem that worry causes for us?

Kathy:  The answer to both those questions is that worry steals our ability to acknowledge God as the God of our lives. I have no trouble calling worry sin because we are disobeying God’s command to “Be anxious about nothing…” (Philippians 4:6). We have a big problem when we fight God’s control of our lives. We’re on our own and we try to control and manipulate people and circumstances to get our needs met. And it’s so subtle. We may not even realize we’re worrying—we call it other words like concerned, mulling, thinking or planning, but we’re not seeking God.

Anxiety is currently the number one emotional problem of American people. Panic anxiety is the number one mental-health problem for women in the United States, and in men is only second to substance abuse. Worry causes relationship problems, physical illness, loss of faith, and stress. No wonder! We’re trying to play God.

Linda:  I’m sure we can all admit that we worry at times. But I’m curious. How did you happen to write a book about worry?

God was working and tranforming me to trust Him more and I wanted to share what I had learned. My desire is to help readers trust God more by being convinced of His greatness, sovereignty, power, love, and involvement. We can say we trust God but then we give in to anxiety, people-pleasing, controlling others, regrets, fear, and trying to provide for ourselves when God says to wait on Him. Our responses actually reveal that we don’t trust God as much as we think we do.

For instance, if a woman is wondering whether her husband still loves her, or is worried that he’s being unfaithful, she may try to manipulate or control her husband. She may react in anger out of anxiety or withdraw her heart because she is taking his behavior personally. Her eyes are on making her husband meet her needs rather than trusting God to meet them. But Philippians 4:19 says God will provide all our true needs. Worry won’t make our spouse respond; it’ll only cause us to react in ways that may push him away more.

I was once in that very situation and my worry made me bitter and needy. It only caused my husband Larry to want to work more so he could be away from my nagging. But when I committed to trusting God to be all I needed, even if Larry never changed, I became more peaceful. Then Larry wanted to be around me. Now we’ve been married almost 44 years.

Linda:  Tell us a little about the concept that began to transform your thinking about worry.

Kathy: I heard this concept at a conference: “If I’m worried, think of the worst possible thing that can happen and then think of reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad after all.” The speaker quoted Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (NASB). I realized my worry indicated I didn’t think God had the power to bring good out of bad and I worried that something bad would happen. But quoting that concept and verse began to give me a different perspective. It helped me relax and allow God to be in control.

 Linda:  Why do you think people worry?

Kathy:  Of course, there are many reasons but here are a few. We may have experienced some hurtful things in childhood and blamed God. So our hearts are fearful of turning control over to Him. We may think that worry gives us power in another person’s life. I remember worrying when my teenage son had to fly across country by himself to a Christian golf camp. I worried he would miss his connecting flight until God whispered, “You’re worried because you want him to need you. Let him need Me.” Oh, how revealing. I could then release that worry and let God show Himself strong. Additionally, people worry because they really do think worry does some good. One woman told me, “Well, of course, worry works; after all, what I worry about doesn’t happen.” I’m sure she was joking (I think!), but in our hearts, we can think it does some good. Unfortunately, worry only makes us tense and then we react in ways we regret. Plus, God isn’t honored.

Linda:  Many of those reading this blog are going through serious storms in life. The worries they have are based in substantial life traumas that have already disrupted their lives. They worry about the future, about what will happen with their children, whether there is hope for their marriages, etc.  What do you have to say to them?

Kathy: I am sad to think of those going through hard times. I can relate. After being married seven years, I hated my husband and took out my anger on our two-year-old little girl to the point that I abused her. I worried that I would actually kill her in one of my rages. I almost took my life to prevent that from happening. But God intervened and as I turned my life over to him little by little, I saw how He wanted to use my struggle for His glory and my good. God healed our marriage and the relationship with my daughter. He gave me a ministry of sharing my story and writing about it. Then that blossomed into the ministry I have today. And my daughter is a happy adult who calls me her best friend.

I understand life seems impossible, but God is still God and He wants to help us. And worry doesn’t accomplish a single positive or helpful thing. It only motivates us to respond in hurtful and damaging ways. Worry is impotent but God is powerful. There is always hope with trusting God.

 Linda:  Tell us a little more about your book.  What are you trying to accomplish and how is it formatted?

My book helps people, primarily Christian women, to trust God more and thus worry less. It is filled with stories from my own life and the lives of others who learned how to do that very thing, along with biblical principles and practical instruction. I’ve also included Discussion Questions that a group or an individual can use. Plus, every chapter highlights a woman from the Bible who either struggled with worry or one who overcame her worry. Every chapter ends with a “Letter From God” which speaks to the reader about what she learned in the chapter.

 Linda:  Are you available for speaking, especially on this topic of overcoming worry?

Oh yes, I love to speak on lots of topics, including overcoming worry. I especially love speaking at women’s retreats because I can have extended contact with the women. I can be reached at Kathyspeak (at) aol (dot) com.

 Linda: Where can people find out more about Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries?

Kathy:  It is available on Amazon for either Kindle reading or print:
http://amzn.to/18SUUHM

Or to get a little preview, you can view the book trailer at http://bit.ly/1czUhKh

My website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.blogspot.com


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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, Desire, Doubt, Fear, Feeling unworthy, How to win, Interviews, Marriage problems, New Directions, Prayer, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized, Worry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

What is God Doing?

May 7, 2014 by Leave a Comment

. . . Recent Movies Beg the Question . . .

Sun shining through the cloudsSeveral years ago I went through an excellent Bible study called Experiencing God.  The premise of the study was that to serve God, we need to look to see what God is doing and then join Him in doing what He has already set in motion.

A couple of nights ago after seeing the movie, Son of God, I started thinking again about the message in Experiencing God . . .and wondering.  Is God up to something?

I had just seen two other Christian movies as well: Heaven is for Real and God is Not Dead. Both were excellent and both were in theaters all around the country. And they both draw in the unbeliever. They raised questions and provided answers. But they also raised other questions. If heaven is for real, how do I get there? And if God is alive, who is this Jesus?

Even though I knew the answers to those questions, the movies still stirred a hunger in me. I wanted to see Jesus, and so I went to see Son of God.

I expected it to simply be the story of Jesus’ life, a movie similar to other movies about Jesus’ life. And that would have been okay.

But it was different.

The Title Provides the Clue

I left the theater, mulling over what I’d just seen and experienced and why it felt so different, and I realized the clue was in its title. It was not just a story of Jesus’ life. It condensed and arranged the sequence of events from the Gospels into a powerful message to show that this indeed was the Son of God who came to earth to draw sinners to Himself and demonstrate His love.   It showed a Jesus who is not afraid to cause a bit of an upheaval among the Jewish leaders. In fact, this Jesus seemed to intentionally upend the conventional legality of religious thinking in order to reach into people’s hearts so they could truly see God and become reconciled to Him.

All the way through the movie runs the developing thread that this man truly is the Son of God who loves the sinner, a man whose thoughts are higher than ours with an understanding beyond our own, but with very human emotions.  The movie, of course, climaxes in His death and resurrection, followed by His appearance in the flesh to His disciples.

No, He wasn’t just a prophet or a good man.

Because of the power of the presentation, I thought, “This is a movie I’d like to take an unbeliever to see.” For it seems that any nonbeliever leaving the movie almost has to confront the question posed by Josh McDowell in his book Evidence that Demands a Verdict. It’s what McDowell calls a trilemma.” Faced with Jesus’ assertion about Himself, what conclusion will a nonbeliever make about who Jesus is? According to McDowell, as well as C.S. Lewis, a nonbeliever has three choices: Was Jesus a liar, a lunatic, or truly the Son of God as He claimed to be?  Each person must answer this trilemma for himself.

Answering the Trilemma

C.S. Lewis, who first came up with this challenge, asks: “If Jesus were a liar, why would he die for his claim, when he could easily have avoided such a cruel death with a few choice words? And, if he were a lunatic, how did he engage in intelligent debates with his opponents or handle the stress of his betrayal and crucifixion while continuing to show a deep love for his antagonists? Christ said he was Lord and God. The evidence supports that claim.”  Who is Jesus really?   http://www.whoisjesus-really.com/english/claims.htm

Son of God does not present a Jesus who was merely a good man, a moral teacher, or even a prophet, but forces you to face this trilemma.

And so, again, I ask the question: What is God doing with these three movies?  All in theaters at the same time? All continuing on for several weeks, all drawing in the unbeliever as well as the believer?

Each of the first two movies present their stories in an engaging and down-to-earth way that doesn’t ignore the doubts and questions circulating in the minds of non-believers, but addresses those questions in a forthright manner. Each of these two movies stirs up a hunger to know more about who this Jesus really is.

And I believe Son of God answers that question.

So with these three major Christian movies out in all the theaters, what do you think God is doing?

And how can we join Him?

I’d love to see your comments (and remember when you comment you can choose your identity when you sign in.  If you want to remain anonymous that’s okay.)  But tell me what you think.  And if you’ve seen the movies, I’d love to get your reaction.  Do you agree or disagree?

If you want to read more about the Experiencing God study, here’s the link.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”  John 11: 25 – 26

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Interview with Margot Starbuck, author of Not Who I Imagined, Surprised by a Loving God

March 5, 2014 by 16 Comments

Untitled-19Today, I’m interviewing Margot Starbuck, speaker and author of five books. We’re talking about her new book, Not Who I Imagined, Surprised by a Loving God. If you leave a comment from now through Sunday, I will enter your name in a drawing for a free copy of Margot’s book.

I started browsing through the book myself and soon became fascinated with what she has to say. Before I knew it I had read through two chapters.  Margot’s writing style is fresh, easy to read, and full of stories that lead you into a better understanding of the true nature of God’s love.

 Feeling Abandoned and Unworthy of Love

Linda: Margot, I’d like to start off with a little bit of your story.  You’ve said that losing caregivers to divorce is one of the things that shaped your view of God, and that because of that and other things, you gave God a face that said you weren’t worth loving or sticking around for.  Consequently, you weren’t able to trust a God who was truly with you and for you.  Could you tell us more about that? How could your caregivers have handled that better?

Margot:  As an infant, my first parents relinquished me for adoption. My dad left when I was six. My parents both remarried and those marriages ended by the time I was 15. What I learned about trusting people was that they went away. And, because we learn from people whether a reliable “Other” is with us and for us, I gave God the same face.

I’m so glad you asked how my caregivers could have handled it better. Each one—stuck in addiction, or violence, or mental illness—was doing the best they could at the time. What I wish they’d known was how very valuable it is to children to reflect the reality they’ve experienced.  A loving face that says “I’m so sorry you had to experience that,” or “I wonder if that felt scary to you” helps a child make sense of her experience and let’s her know that she’s worth protecting, nurturing, loving.

 Linda: I worked for an adoption agency for a time, and I know one of the things we encouraged birthmothers to do was to write a letter to their baby, telling them about themselves and why they made the decision they did to place the baby for adoption. Usually, an adoption decision is made out of love, not abandonment, but a child needs help to understand that.  I can’t tell you how many times I watched a birthmother cry her heart out as she relinquished her baby for adoption, but she knew the adoptive parents could care for her child better than she could at the time. It was truly a case of sacrificial love. Would it have helped you to get a letter like that?

Margot: You make a great point: there are so many instances when a parent’s absence—as a result of relinquishment, military service, disease, or death—shouldn’t necessarily be interpreted as abandonment. But, to a naturally egocentric child, they often are.

I was definitely told that my birth parents had loved me, but since we didn’t talk about them, they always seemed like—in the words of Donald Miller—“mythical creatures.” Like dragons! I think that if I’d received a letter like that, and my family had helped me talk about my feelings and losses, on special days like birthdays, Mother’s Day, etc., it would have helped.

Surprised by God

Linda: What happened that surprised you and changed your mind about God?

Margot: About ten years ago I was at the bottom of the pit. I was depressed and was really suffering emotionally. Into that darkness, when I raised my fist at God, God met me in one of the most palpable ways I’ve ever experienced.

I heard God speak four words: “I am for you.”  Later, more words, “I am the One who is with you and for you.” When I was still resisting, believing they weren’t from God, I saw a picture of Jesus on the cross. That’s what sealed the deal. In the moment, I knew that God wasn’t the Father who cavalierly sacrifices his kid, but this was the Father who gives his own life out of love for me.

I’d been a Christian for years, but that’s when I was at last able to separate being “loved” by fragile human people and being “loved” by One whose love does not, cannot, fail.

Linda: Though Christians will say God has redeemed them, your book talks about the fact that many of those same people have a hard time believing that God loves them here and now. You get pretty upset about this. Why?

Margot: I do think that we’re willing to say that God accepted us in the moment of our salvation—when we prayed a prayer or were dunked under water—and we’ll believe that when we die we’ll be received in heaven.

But what about now?!

Because so many of us live with shame, it’s harder for us to believe that God loves us, exactly as we are and not as we should be, now.

I hear God’s gentle whisper saying, “Now. Just as you are. I love you now.”

Linda: Speaking of shame, one of the big themes of Not Who I Imagined is that we can be set free from shame. What do you mean by shame?

Margot: By “shame” I mean that sense that we’re not quite acceptable as we are. It’s that voice that whispers in our ears that if we were a little bit better than we actually we are we would be, at last, worth loving.

That’s not God’s voice.

God’s voices says, “You are mine. You are worth loving.”

That’s the voice to listen to. And as we choose for that voice in every moment, as we agree with the voice that is true, we’re set free from shame. Thanks be to God.

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Linda: You suggest that some of us give Jesus and his Father the masks of “good cop” and “bad cop.” How does that impact the way we live and the way we relate to God?

Margot: As we search for the face we give to God, and we’re honest, some of us think that God’s face looking down on us is a little bit disappointed with our subpar performance. The divine expression communicates that God wishes we were a little different than we actually are. In the secret places of our hearts, we’ve given Jesus’ father a mask of judgment.

However, we’ve seen the children’s picture Bibles where Jesus is frolicking happily with children. He clearly delights in them! And we’re a bit more willing to believe that Jesus loves us.

Yet when Philip asks Jesus to show the disciples his Father, Jesus says, “I’m it! If you’ve seen this mug you know exactly what my dad looks like!”  (John 14:8, sort of)

There’s not “father of judgment” and “Jesus of love.” Same face!

Linda: What do you mean when you say we discover who we are in the faces of those around us?  Also, you talk about faces that lie and faces that tell the truth. Can you explain this?

Margot: Yup. The way that we discover who we are—whether we’re worth holding and feeding and nurturing and loving—is from the faces around us. Recent research on motor neurons has confirmed the ways that we register and record the faces of our earliest caregivers. If they found us unacceptable, we’ll find us unacceptable. If they found us worth loving, we’ll believe we’re worth loving.

Because God’s face says, definitively, that we’re worth loving, the faces that condemn, the ones that abuse, the ones that fail to confirm our inherent belovedness are all faces that lie.

Children, who are naturally egocentric, believe that what they get is what they deserve. Until a gracious face shines upon them, they may not know that the face that rages is one that lies about their worth. Whether it’s a grandparent or a teacher or a neighbor or an aunt, every one of us needs to see a human reflection of the Holy Face that shines on us.

 Helping our own Children

Linda: When we go through tough times in our marriage, particularly a separation or divorce, it’s inevitable that our children will be affected in some way. What can we do to provide that gracious face to them to ease their feeling of rejection and keep them from feeling they are unlovable?  Particularly if a parent has left, how do we help them see God’s loving face instead of the face of the parent who is leaving them?

Margot: It took a lot of therapy for me to learn the answer to this one!

It’s now my understanding that children can weather a lot, if they have one thing: a helping adult presence to reflect reality for them. That’s the mom who curls up in bed beside her child and whispers, “I’m so sorry you had to hear us fighting. Were you scared, baby?”  It’s the dad who acknowledges, “I miss you so much now that I don’t live in your house. It makes my heart really sad. I wonder what it’s like for you?”  It’s the parent who reflects, “I feel really angry that you’ve had to endure this. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you right now. Do you want to tell me?”

When a parent—either the parent who leaves or the one who stays—appropriately reflects concern and sadness and anger, I think they do show a child what God’s face is like.

Linda: That’s great advice—very helpful. How can people connect with you on the Internet?

Margot: I love connecting. Facebook is a good place, or www.MargotStarbuck.com

Note: By leaving a comment anytime between today through Sunday, March 9, your name will be entered in a drawing for a free copy of Margot’s book. Only those in the continental U.S. are eligible for the drawing because of shipping expenses, but you are always welcome to leave a comment.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Children, Depression, Doubt, Interviews, Lonliness, Love, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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