Sifting Our Hearts in Times of Turmoil

June 10, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Aaron Burden

When troubling times come to our nation, I can’t help wondering what God is doing. In these situations, my mind often drifts to some thought-provoking words in the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.” The words were penned during the Civil War by Julia Ward Howe who was an abolitionist. Stanza 4 declares:  “He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat. Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

As I look at what has been happening in our country during the last couple of weeks – the angst and pain, the mayhem and anger, I hear those words in my head “He is sifting out the hearts of men . . . .” and I wonder.

Is that what God is doing? Is He sifting our hearts? And are we listening? Are we listening to what God is saying to us during these times?

What is God Saying to Us?

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”  And Proverbs 21:2 pushes the point even further by convicting us of our own stubbornness. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

It’s the human condition. We are fallen creatures. And unfortunately we often seem to need a time of tribulation for God to get our attention. We see this stated again and again throughout scripture. Proverbs 17:3 compares the testing of our hearts to the refining of gold and silver. “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold. But the Lord tests the heart.”

We have been in the refining pot of late. We may even feel like we’ve been in the furnace. First, during this pandemic, and now in the frightful aftermath of the injustice witnessed in the cruel death of an innocent man.

And I believe God is getting our attention.

In the shock and dismay I see around this land, I see walls crumbling – people who have stood on different sides of the divide – suddenly expressing a new understanding. Hearts are opening in the midst of God’s refining fire. And perhaps this is what God wants to do with us as a people—to sift out the hearts of men before his judgment seat so we can see one another through His eyes. For I believe before the wrongs of our society can be changed, our hearts must change first.

A Demonstration of God’s Healing Love

At Faith Assembly of God in Orlando last Sunday morning, I witnessed a beautiful example of what we as Christians can do to come together with those of other races.

Toward the end of the service, Pastor Carl Stephens (who is white) called a young black man to the stage, who told his story of growing up in a small Georgia town, where he was snubbed and subjected to a steady diet of racial slurs, indignities, and shame throughout his young life. Although he was initially taught to hate those who hated him, some white people who looked past his color to value him as a person opened his heart to another way. One of these was a police officer. But the true answer for racial harmony, he said, lies in hearts being changed by Jesus Christ.

His story was sobering, but what followed touched me more deeply than I can describe.

Pastor Stephens lead him to a chair, knelt, and took a basin of water with which he washed the young black man’s feet. As he did so he spoke about Jesus’ love and Jesus’ example to us of how to serve one another with humility and love.  During those few moments, I know many tears were shed throughout the congregation as we watched this beautiful demonstration of the love of Jesus. It was a time of humility and healing.

The healing that occurred in this church where there is an even mix of races—black, white and Hispanic—was a powerful expression of what we as Christians can do when we allow God’s Word to penetrate our hearts.

Somehow this hit me more acutely than ever before in a way that humbled me as a white woman. I saw the pain and fear that many black people must endure in their daily life. And I couldn’t help thinking: perhaps this is the answer—Christians of all colors and races coming together in the humility of washing each other’s feet.

We are called as Christians to love one another, to serve one another, to have compassion for one another, Colossians 3:12 says, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.”

Correcting the injustices and ills of our society needs to begin with changing the hearts of its people, and the greatest changer of hearts is Jesus Christ. If each of us searches our own hearts, if we allow the love of Jesus to sift through any insensitivities or wrong thinking we have clung to, perhaps we will begin to see the healing of our nation.

“Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

 

You can read more about the origins of The Battle Hymn of the Republic here.

Read the story of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet here: John 13:1-17

 

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Thirteen Things We May Have Learned In Quarantine

May 19, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Umit Bulut

Now that parts of the country are beginning to open up again, and before we move too fast to getting back to “normal,” perhaps it would be good to reflect on what we’ve learned during this time of quarantine.

Only few times in history has the entire world suffered through the same experience at the same time, but 2020 will long be remembered as a time when we all knew the fear and anxiety of a worldwide pandemic that arbitrarily claims lives. It will also be remembered as a time when we all were cloistered within our homes with few interactions with those outside our immediate family.

As tragic as this situation has been for many, I believe in every situation—good or bad, we have an opportunity to learn something that will grow us into stronger and better individuals.

So what have we learned during this quarantine?

  1. One of the happiest sights I’ve seen during this time of isolation are families strolling through the neighborhood, talking and laughing together. Moms and Dads and their kids are spending time with each other in large chunks of both quantity and quality time. It’s been an opportunity to get to know and enjoy the individuals living in our own house. Without the outside interference, the nuclear family is sharing new experiences together. Perhaps this time of quarantine has even created unique and special memories for our children.
  2. And how about the joy of spending time outside! With gyms closed, we’re learning to enjoy nature by running, walking, and biking instead of going to the gym. While in quarantine, I’ve been reading a book about having a healthier brain. In this book, author Timothy R. Jennings, M.D. sites studies, showing that spending time in nature provides multiple healthy benefits. Beyond that though, these studies also show that “exercise conducted outdoors rather than indoors appears to have a more robust heath benefit.” He goes on to cite research that shows how physical exercise conducted outdoors instead of indoors results in lower rates of depression, improvement in self-esteem and mood, as well as benefits in such things as heart rate, blood pressure, autonomic response and endocrine markers. Something to remember when gyms open up again and life resumes its usual pace.
  3. Learning to appreciate the luxury of going to the grocery store and finding anything we want on the shelves. Not every country has this luxury. Here in the U.S. we are so blessed as a nation in simply being able to go to the store, knowing we can find whatever we’re in the mood for. Having now gone through a time when many shelves were bare during the quarantine, let’s remember this lesson when we return to normal and be thankful for the many advantages we have in this country instead of dwelling on what we don’t have.
  4. Learning to appreciate our jobs and getting a paycheck. We might complain about them at times, but when they’re taken away from us, we realize how fortunate we truly are. We may not be as rich as some of our friends or someone we see on TV, but by having a job, we are able to support ourselves and our family.
  5. Since neighbors are the only people we really get to see, we are getting a chance to know them a little better – even if it’s only a social-distancing safe encounter. Continuing to foster these friendships with neighbors when the quarantine is over can strengthen our sense of community.
  6. Appreciating technology. This is a big one for me because I often complain about it. However, without the amazing advances of technology we would have no way to communicate with the outside world during this time of isolation. How thankful I am for it now so we are not completely shut off from friends and family who live apart from us.
  7. However, we are also learning that communicating through technology is not as satisfying as communicating with people in person. We have particularly found that online learning is not as successful as learning in the classroom. Seeing how many students struggle with classes, time management, and staying focused with distance learning, we realize more than ever the significance of a teacher’s role in a child’s learning experience. Having a real live, present teacher to interact with and respond to is so much more rewarding than staring at a computer screen even if there’s a talking head on the other end. I think we’ve learned that we are social creatures after all.
  8. Because of fewer visits to the grocery store, some of us may be learning to do a better job of conserving food and using leftovers. Knowing I can’t immediately go to the store to replenish ingredients makes me stretch the food I already have so it lasts longer. A recent study of the habits of 2,000 Americans showed that the average American wastes 103 pounds of food per year. Perhaps being quarantined has helped us learn to manage our food more carefully, frugally, and creatively.
  9. For those of us who are a little more industrious, we may be celebrating the chance to use the extra time to clean out closets or drawers or even our garage. (My hand is going up here.) Having to stay home has provided a good opportunity to finish up projects or start one we’ve had to put off because of our usual busyness.
  10. We may also be realizing the importance of validating elderly parents and grandparents with our visits. One of the saddest things for me during this season of COVID 19 is seeing those in nursing homes and assisted living facilities living in isolation without visits from family and friends or even congregating together for meals and activities. Remembering my own mother when she lived in a nursing home for a time, I know how important my daily visits were to her. I can’t imagine her mental and emotional health could have survived months of isolation. My prayer is that those who care for the elderly in these facilities will soon be given plans to bring relief to the loneliness of their charges. I pray also that each of us will value our elderly relatives more than ever and shower them with our love and attention when things return to normal.
  11. Children have learned things too. During the quarantine, they’ve been able to use their free time to rediscover the fun of imaginative play and creative ventures like building forts, playing make believe, making crafts, or reading books for pleasure and discovering board games and puzzles with family.
  12. And, of course, we’ve learned the importance of  washing our hands for 20 seconds on a regular basis. Because it’s hard to tick off the seconds correctly, I recently learned that singing the Doxology while washing your hands is a good reminder of how to measure the time. It’s also a good reminder to continually lift our voices in praise to our loving Father throughout the day. Here’s a quick reminder of the words: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.” If you just read that, it should have been a 20 second read! You might remember that next time you wash your hands.
  13. And this brings us to perhaps the most significant question many of us have dealt with during this time—the question of our mortality. As we’ve watched the COVID 19 death toll rising each day, we realize death is a part of life. Our own mortality stares us in the face each time the news reports peel off the new statistics. Because of this, we’re perhaps more aware of the finiteness of life, our limited time on earth, and the frailty of our individual lives. Prayer and thoughts of God and eternity may hover a little longer in our minds. We indeed are finite creatures, small in the context of a larger universe. But this needn’t bring fear when we open our hearts and minds to the sovereignty of a God who loves us and designed us to be in fellowship and relationship with Him. He has a plan for us, a future for us, and when we submit ourselves to His love, our lives can become richer and fuller as we walk toward the eternity He prepared for us through the gift of His son.

In each event of life—both good and bad—I see the truth of God’s promise in Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” I believe that this is even true in the days of COVID 19. In spite of the difficulties of this time, God can use it for our good and His purposes when we come to Him with open hearts and minds.

What have you learned in quarantine? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

If this quarantine has been strained because of a marriage in trouble, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated might help you take the next best step.

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Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, Interview with Author Rebecca Carpenter

May 7, 2020 by Leave a Comment

As I begin this interview with author Rebecca Carpenter, over 68,000 people are reported to have died from Covid 19 in the United States and over 259,000 throughout the world. The subject of dying is not far from our minds. But for some of us the subject is far too personal. Loved ones have died, and whether or not they died from Covid 19 or another cause, they have been taken from us. We grieve for them.

When Rebecca Carpenter’s husband died six years ago, she grieved also, but in the midst of her grief God brought a comfort to her she didn’t expect. Her book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, has brought comfort and solace to many, and I pray it can also comfort some of you who have lost loved ones.

Linda: Rebecca, what prompted you to write a book on grief?  

Rebecca: I certainly didn’t plan to write a book about grief. For years, I wrote devotionals about nature and articles for my church, magazines, and anthologies. Sometimes I sent emails of my work and printed out stories for friends. When people commented that they enjoyed reading my writings, my son set up a blog for me.

After I retired, I spent hours on my patio watching wildlife and getting ideas for my devotionals. My husband Alan and I traveled around the world so I also wrote about our trips. He constantly encouraged me to write. My parents often told me how much they liked what I wrote.

Difficult situations changed my life. Mother’s health deteriorated. Leukemia, diabetes, and other health issues curtailed her normally active life.

Not long after that, Alan learned he had idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. For a while his symptoms were mild. But they increased and our traveling stopped. Even normal daily activities wore him out. Except for doctor visits, he stayed home.

While I dealt with both of them, my dad’s health also declined. For years, he fought to regain strength after heart surgeries, knee surgeries, cancer and multiple other health problems. But when constantly visiting my mom in the nursing home, he had multiple strokes and never fully recovered from the major ones.

My life consisted of caring for Alan and taking care of financial and health matters for my parents. Stress joined me every day. Writing provided a release for my pain and grief at knowing I was losing them.

Within eleven months, all three passed away. Writing every day helped me deal with my losses. When I shared my writings, friends told me to put my devotionals into a book.

At first I resisted because writing a book seemed overwhelming.  But over and over, I heard I should do it. Finally, I felt God telling me the book would help others who were grieving. Only then did I realize I had to do it and God would help me.

Since Alan, mom and dad had encouraged me to write, I felt a book on grief would be a tribute to them.

Linda: Why did you choose the title Ambushed by Glory in My Grief? 

When I was mourning the loss of my husband, my mom, and my dad, God often showed up in wonderful but unexpected ways. 

At times, I felt foggy and unfocused. Just when I thought I was handling grief well, a memory, song or situation threw me back into sadness and tears. It helped just to discover my feelings were normal, which I learned by attending Griefshare, a Christian support group for people who are grieving. At Griefshare, I learned grief ambushed me.

When I shared my writings and my need for a title in my writers critique group at Word Weavers International, one of my fellow writers suggested this title. It was perfect.

Linda: Does your book cover represent anything special?

Rebecca: Yes, it does. With God ambushing me over and over with surprises of His glory, I wanted to show light with the darkness. I used a picture of sunrise over my lake.

The lake calms me and constantly provides beauty and lessons from His creation. Sunrises, eagles in the trees, ducks on the lake, flowers of all kinds are a few examples. I feel blessed every time I look out over the lake and know God is with me through all kinds of circumstances. I wanted my book to show that even in dark times, Jesus shows up as the Light.

Linda: How did Alan’s illness affect your marriage?

Rebecca: We had only been married three years when he received his diagnosis. However, we dated for seven years before our marriage, which was the year we both retired.

Because we both had been single for a long time, we didn’t jump into marriage again quickly. I had been single for sixteen years and he was single for twenty-six. When we finally married, we looked at things differently than we would have as youngsters. Although both of us had our own ideas of how to do things, a sense of humor helped prevent major struggles.

We enjoyed working together, traveling and going on mission trips. He always looked out for me and took care of chores I had been used to doing myself as a single parent. I felt pampered. I loved doing things for him too.

After our last mission trip, he felt worse. When we visited his doctor, Alan shocked me by asking the doctor how long he had to live. Although I knew he was more fatigued, I didn’t want to admit the terminal disease was taking his life. Our time together was supposed to be much longer.

The doctor said, “Six months.”

I could hardly breathe. Somehow, I made it to the car and picked Alan up from a wheelchair in front of the building. I had become his caregiver. No longer could he take care of me like I was used to. I hated the role reversal and so did he.

When we got home, he called hospice and they came out that day. He began his journey of dying with a purpose. On a legal sized paper, he wrote a long list of items to accomplish for his limited time. Most of what he wrote benefited me. He wanted to make life easier for me before he died and after he was gone.

Every day, I think of how much he loved me and showed it by using his limited energy for tasks like making phone calls to insurance companies, buying a new car and bike for me, and giving away some of his clothes.

There was sadness during his final months, but our love for each other pushed it to the side. We wanted to make the most of every day. We didn’t argue or complain but enjoyed being together.

Unfortunately, the doctor was wrong. Alan only lived two months longer and not six.

Linda: It sounds like Alan did indeed take care of you, even in those months before he died. Since that time, how has publishing your book changed your life?

Rebecca: Frequently, I hear from people who have read my book and have been encouraged. There is a ripple effect as they give my book to others who are grieving. People open up to me in their pain because they know I understand.

I feel compassion in a new way for those with losses. My heart hurts for them. Because I have been comforted, I can do the same for them. I ask God each day to show me who I can help and frequently, it is someone who is grieving.

Linda: Have you finished grieving after six years?

Rebecca: No. However, the grief is less intense and more like an ache instead of a sharp pain. Ambushes still occur but less frequently. Last year on Alan’s birthday, I cried easily for two days. The year before I didn’t cry at all. I have learned grief is unpredictable but so are the wonderful ambushes of God. He has been with me through the entire process and enables me to reach out to others who are grieving.

Linda: Where can people find your book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, and how can they find your blog?

Rebecca: People can find my book on Amazon in both print and kindle formats and also in some local Christian bookstores. I’d love to have people visit me on my blog at http://rebeccacarpenter.blogspot.com

 

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Living in Lockdown

April 16, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Life is crazy and unpredictable right now. The world feels like it has turned upside down. Most of us are in lockdown and can’t leave the house. We can’t go to work. Students have to do “school” from home. We can’t even work off steam by going to the gym. We may be scrambling for food and other items we need – toilet paper anyone?

But sometimes when we feel completely out of control, God has the best opportunity to do some of His greatest work. Our own agenda and our own self-will often blocks what God wants to do. In our busy schedules, we put off time seeking God and push forward trying to do what “we” know is best . . . whatever that is.

So what does God want to do in our lives in the midst of this lockdown?

In my book, Broken Heart on Hold, I talk about taking a coffee break with God when times of marital chaos interrupt our life. Perhaps what’s happening all over our country now gives us another opportunity to take a coffee break with God .

Where is God leading you right now?

If you have extra time during this lockdown, take a day with God. Spend quality time with Him in His Word. Ask Him to shine a light on the path ahead where He will guide you to encounter His very best.

Start your day by praising Him, remembering the blessings He has given you in the past. “The Lord inhabits the praises of His people” (Psalm 22:3). When we praise God, we invite Him to participate in our lives, to enlarge our vision, to give us hope when hope seems far away from everything we see. And as our heart begins to open to His Word, we will see new things He wants to teach us; we will feel His presence; we will find prayers on our lips for those around us who need His touch. A time that seems enveloped in darkness can be illuminated by the light of God’s truth when we open our hearts completely to His leading.

Where is God leading you this week? How is He speaking to your heart?

Use this strange time of solitude and lockdown to find the answer to that question. Sit down with your Bible and a journal and write down what you believe God is speaking to you. Listen to praise music. Invite Him into your presence. Meditate on His Word. Maybe find a new Christian book to read. If you want suggestions, you can scroll through past author interviews I’ve done on my blog to find a book that meets a need.

God may unwrap new mysteries to you as He sheds light on your journey ahead and the path He wants you to follow.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, and a light on my path.”  Psalm 119: 105

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Opportunities for the Family Amidst Stay-at-Home Orders

March 26, 2020 by 1 Comment

“Would you like to read a book together while we’re shut up in the house?” Marv asked a few days ago.

I’m not sure if I looked shocked or just felt it, but his question gave me a pleasant jolt. It was unusual for him to suggest something which seemed so . . . so relational.

But then nothing in the past couple of weeks has been “usual.” Our world has flipped upside down, and while we all watch the daily drip drip of numbers across the country and the world, we’re also finding new ways to cope and new ways to live. And some of them aren’t too bad.

“I love watching so many families taking walks together,” Marv commented again as another group of children accompanied by mom and dad passed by our window.

His comments got me to thinking. He was right. With so many working from home, gyms closed, and stay-at-home orders all over the country, people are forced to spend more time together as families. Families can have meals together and take those walks. That’s one of the good side effects of all this. But it also brings new challenges. For as time wears on, what can we do as a family when the kids begin to get tired of computer games and Disney Plus and have watched every DVD we own five times? We can all get a little stir crazy.

In this unusual moment, we have an opportunity to stretch beyond our customary routines and habits and discover a deeper sense of family. Although many are experiencing a lot of stress, we can also regard it as a time to “enjoy” one another in an unrestricted atmosphere where deadlines no longer define us and expectations of others no longer consume our energy. Here are some suggestions:

  1. If you live in a pleasant climate like we do here in Florida, enjoy those daily walks or bike rides as a family. Even in colder weather, have fun family times on sunshiny days by doing something outside together. But what else can you do?
  2. As a family, try playing board games, doing puzzles and rediscover some of the things people used to do in days gone by. If you don’t have board games, do you remember how to play charades or pantomime quiz? Most children love acting out their favorite movies and songs and making people guess what they’re doing.
  3. Read a book with your children. Get out one of the old classics like Heidi, Tom Sawyer, The Secret Garden, Charlotte’s Web, Peter Pan, Black Beauty, Bambi, or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Reading a book to your children as a family can establish a life-long love for books that brings enjoyment for years to come. Yes, at first the children might balk at the idea of your reading a book that doesn’t have pictures, but within the first half hour, chances are their imaginations will catch up with the stories so the pictures in their minds begin to soar.
  4. Create a treasure hunt in the backyard or inside the house. Let the older children help you write clues, then watch the children scramble around the house (or yard), searching for the treasure. Or for younger children, you can just play hide the teddy bear and let the children look for it. You can absorb a whole evening while children hunt for the elusive bear again and again. After awhile they will want to hide it for each other, and wow, can they ever get creative! Or what about hide and seek? Be prepared for a little more chaos than usual, but also be prepared for more laughter and fun.
  5. Instead of throwing out old corks, strawberry baskets, egg cartons, scraps of material, pieces of yarn and ribbon, or empty jars and cans, use them to do crafts with your kids. Then add in some beans, pasta, pieces of construction paper and cardboard. By just laying out a bunch of “junk” on the kitchen table with some glue and tape, you might be surprised at the creativity that springs forth in your kids.
  6. Let your children use blankets, sheets, and cardboard boxes to build a tent inside the house. Let them be creative. Suggest they make cubbyholes inside for their favorite stuffed animal and a place to enjoy snacks.
  7. Have fun baking with your kids. In addition to baking cookies and cakes, try some new treats. Easter is coming, and there are many creative concoctions you can put together. If you need ideas, you can find some on my Pinterest Page.
  8. Decorate for Easter. Perhaps you can use those craft times to create new Easter decorations. Have you ever learned to blow out eggs? You can find directions and other craft ideas on my Pinterest Page.
  9. Involve your children in helping someone who needs assistance during this time of isolation. Do you know an older person – perhaps a grandparent, neighbor or someone at your church—who could use encouragement? Volunteer to do some grocery shopping for them or run an errand. Make a greeting card and send it in the mail. Make an Easter craft for them and leave it at their front door.
  10. And speaking of Easter. With Easter coming, you might want to treat your children to a fun discovery and a new tradition. On April 7 when the full moon appears, you will probably be surprised to know you can actually see a rabbit in the shadows of the moon. Legends from China, Japan, India and other

    The Bunny Side of Easter

    countries in the Eastern part of the world have celebrated this rabbit for centuries even though few of us in the West have ever heard of him. In my children’s Easter picture book, The Bunny Side of Easter, I transform this legend into an adventurous, but winsome story about the heroism of this rabbit that points children to the true hero of Easter. When the full moon appears on April 7, you can have a Bunny Moon Watch Party with your kids. Children delight in seeing that there’s a rabbit in the moon.

And this year, for those of you who order the book from my official website http://bunnysideofeaster.com, you will also receive a FUNPACK, including character stickers, a puppet of one of the characters, a coloring page, a Happy Easter hat, and an activity book with several games and a discussion guide for parents. You can also order it from Amazon, and you can get it on Prime if you go to the second buying page for the book: https://The Bunny Side of Easter on Amazon , (but it won’t include the FUNPACK.)

God can use this difficult time in our world for good when we trust Him and look beyond regular everyday routines to make the most of our circumstances.

Thank Him for the blessings you have so He can expand your vision and help you see new opportunities to enjoy your family.

Bunny Side of Easter Fun Pack

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The Importance of Knowing How to Guard Your Heart

February 2, 2020 by Leave a Comment

When I walk with people through their times of brokenness, we often talk about Proverbs 4:23: “Guard your heart for the heart is the wellspring of life.” No one wants a broken heart, but life can be painful. Relationships can be painful. So how do we guard our hearts when trouble overwhelms us? What does this verse mean?

Sometimes to protect our hearts we bury them in superficial, mind numbing distractions or try to escape into worlds created by our own devices. We may build a crust around them so nothing can attack them or cause more hurt. We may think we are “guarding” our hearts by hardening them against the pain, against others who try to get close, and anything threatening to break open the outer shell of protection. Unfortunately, however, by taking these approaches, we may create a gateway for bitterness to grow, a bitterness that will eat away at our hearts and cause more havoc throughout our lives.

Other forces attack our hearts also—not just the pain of our circumstances. And these can be more subtle. When we go through a rough time in life, we are vulnerable to the noise of our culture—the pressures coming from society’s norms and values –and the opinions of other people. We hear them again and again. More and more, their answers begin to sound plausible and logical; they may seem the only way out. Our minds and hearts become clouded, and the whispers of God are unable to penetrate the noise and confusion of outside pressures. It feels easier to listen to those with the loudest voices and go with the culture around us.

Thankfully, when God cautions us to guard our hearts, He also tells us how to do it. In the verses directly before Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 4:20-22 instructs us how to guard our hearts. “My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.” Equally important, the end of Proverbs 4:23 tells us exactly why to guard our hearts.  “Guard your heart for the heart is the wellspring of life.”

When I picture the heart being the wellspring of life, I picture a spring of living water gushing up inside the heart, allowing God’s love, peace, and grace to overflow, washing through the person’s spirit and overflowing onto those around him. The heart is the way God connects with us. It’s the way He brings life to us.

Guarding your heart means pulling your heart away from the forces that have the potential to cause it harm, and trusting your heart to God. It means guarding your heart from the toxicities of the culture and the environment around you that would poison that beautiful life-giving wellspring of life coming from God. It means listening to God’s words to guard your heart from the arrows of Satan who would cause bitterness to grow and deceive you onto wrong paths. Instead of trusting your heart to the deceptive words and persuasions of those who might mislead or hurt you, scripture instructs you to guard your heart by putting it in the hands of the only One you can completely trust, and that is our loving and faithful Father God.

In Jeremiah, the prophet continually addressed a people who looked to the gods of other cultures, rather than the living God they’d known, to fulfill their needs and give them the pleasures they desired. God told Jeremiah to call out to them with the truth, to instruct them to listen to Him, but their hearts were stubborn, refusing to listen to God. They allowed the toxicity of the cultures around them to infect their hearts so they were no longer able to hear God and the things He wanted to tell them. As a result of their failure to “guard their hearts,” disaster came upon them.

When we “are still and know that He is God,” we can step out of the undercurrent of societal pressure and listen to God’s voice. What does He want us to do? Where does He want to lead us? Can we quiet our hearts long enough to hear? Are we allowing that spring of Living Water to bring His refreshing Spirit to wash through the clamor of confusion and stabs of pain so we can hear what He wants to say to us?

When we allow God’s Living Water to flow through our hearts, our hearts can remain soft and malleable to God’s touch. Sometimes that softening brings tears as we submit to the will of One whose ways are above our own, who takes us on paths that we can’t control or understand.  Our hearts are breaking; we are out of control; we no longer know what’s ahead. But when our hearts break in the stillness of God’s presence, Jesus pours His living water into the gaping holes to wash through the debris and residue from past hurts and disappointments to renew us. When our tears join with His Living Water, our souls can breathe in the life He wants to give us. We can walk the path He sets before us, unafraid of where it will lead because our eyes are on our Savior and Lord, our ears are tuned to His voice, and our hearts are alive with the wellspring of life.

* * *

If you are fighting for your marriage and need to know how to guard your heart in the process, check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

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A Sacred Flow of Tears

September 10, 2019 by Leave a Comment

. . . When Our Tears Touch the Heart of God . . .

Photo by Claudia

I heard her voice cracking as she described the situation in her marriage to me over the phone. She paused briefly, cleared her throat, and resumed her story. I could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions. At the end of our conversation, I asked if I could pray with her. She agreed. As my prayer ended, she could no longer hold back the tears and began to sob uncontrollably. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” I said.  “I understand.”

And, oh yes, I did! Not only did I understand, but I knew her flow of tears was sacred in the eyes of God. Her heart was breaking in His presence so He could enter in and bring her healing.

When our lives are rocked with troubles of catastrophic proportions, many of us try not to cry, try to be strong, try to hold back the tears. But when the burning pain within us gets to the breaking point and  tears begin to flow, that’s when the real freedom can start to take hold.

For I believe it’s at those moments when God’s heart is able to reach down to ours to encompass us in His love. God welcomes our tears. In fact, He cherishes them. In Psalm 56:8 David even says God puts our tears in His bottle. “You put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in your book?” David asks.

Why are tears precious to God? Why does the Bible picture God as keeping our tears in a bottle and making note of them in His book?

A Broken Heart

Weeping is often an outward sign of what is happening inwardly. When we cry, our heart is in the midst of breaking. It’s softening. Our control of the situation is at an end. The problem is bigger than we are. Our emotions are telling us we no longer have answers.

When we allow the tears to flow, the pain ripping at our hearts opens them up to a brokenness that can then be healed by the mighty hand of God – if we will let him. Psalm 34 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tears are sacred. They are the God-given gift to us that allows Him to prepare the soil of our hearts for His healing so we can receive more of Him and more of the gifts He wants to give us.

When we are walking through the valley, trying to hold on to hope, but knowing hope is only possible by giving our situation to God, many of us struggle to let go. Letting go does not come naturally. We want to hold on and figure things out for ourselves. When we finally do, for some of us letting go and surrendering our circumstances to God may be accompanied by tears as we finally give up trying to be in charge. When our hearts break in His presence, He will sit with us in our grief. He will comfort our hearts and put them back together so they can reflect the mystery of His perfect calling for our life.

Those Who Wept in the Bible

Time and again we read about characters of the Old and New Testaments shedding tears as they prayed and wept before God in anguish over their circumstances. They were not hot angry tears, but surrendering, heartbreaking tears. And when their hearts were surrendered to the Lord, God heard and answered their prayers.

  • The faithful King Hezekiah was given 15 more years to live (Isaiah 38:1-5).
  • Nehemiah was able to go and rebuild the wall of Jerusalem (Nehemiah 1:4 – 2:6).
  • David was protected from his enemies over and over again and went on to become the most celebrated king of Israel (Psalm 6:6-10, 39:12).
  • A sinful woman was forgiven of her many sins while she wept in repentance and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears (Luke 7:44-47).
  • Paul’s anguish and heartfelt tears resulted in God’s leading him with sensitivity in his writing of his letter to the Corinthians so the people could see his love rather than be grieved by his words of correction (2 Cor. 2:4)

Songs of Joy

God heals the brokenhearted. When our tears bring us into communion with God in prayer and we allow Him to come deeper into our hearts, He can transform that pain into something new. Our hearts become fresh clay that He can mold into a more compassionate, caring, and sensitive vessel He can fill with his love and purpose.

And perhaps that’s why the Bible also says, “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them (Psalm 126:5-6).

I love this image for in it I see a picture of ourselves when we are the brokenhearted. When we come to God, tears flowing and our hearts humbled and surrendered into God’s holy hands, our tears can water the softening soil of our hearts to produce blessings that only His love within us can produce. And with His blessings of love come the songs of joy.

Don’t be afraid of tears. When your heart is breaking, let the tears wash the pain from your heart so your heart is ready to experience God’s healing balm and the fullness of His amazing love.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).

Think about this. If God’s love is using your tears to water the soil of your heart, what blessings might result from this?  What are the “sheaves” you will carry later on as you sing your songs of joy? I’d love to see your comments.

If you want to fight for your marriage, let me walk with you through the pages of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. There you will find practical help that can guide you toward reconciliation even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

 

 

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A Rock in Life’s Quakes

July 31, 2019 by Leave a Comment

By Michael Kmet

By Tina Yeager

With a bit of apprehension I offered my head to the hairstyling apprentice. She needed to practice, so I agreed to become the lab rat of her experiment. Few had seen the procedure and my outcome was difficult to predict. Bowls of gel mixtures littered the small table. Countless paint strokes surrounded me. After an hour, I resembled an alien with head of silver tentacles sprouting hair. A cosmic halo orbited my noggin, projecting heat onto the foils. An anxious flutter stirred in my belly, churning a bit of acid to rise into my throat.

It’s only hair, I told myself. No matter how this turns out, I will be okay.

This year brings a variety of changes for me, all more significant than the balayage venture (which proved less dramatic than I anticipated, by the way). We’ve moved away from the home in which we raised our kids. One son now lives over two hours away, while my youngest begins his doctoral program in another city. At the same time, I grieve the loss of my church family, and my career is undergoing a major transition. I’m not sure how the results will look, but a different world is shaping up around me.

Change shakes up our lives in a myriad of forms. It can often prove refreshing as some novelty brings joy. Hence the constant trend shifts in technology, fashion, and adventurous recreation. New movies rock. Hidden waterfalls delight the soul. Who doesn’t love a fresh outfit?

The transitions we don’t seek will occur, too, however. We age. People leave us. Security blankets blow away in one strong gust of calamity. Expected or not, certain life-upheavals rattle our roots from their comfortable places. From relocation to chronic health issues to grief, uncomfortable transitions stretch across differing levels of life’s Richter scale. They all begin with a similar emotion, as the first thing felt in an unwanted quake is loss. Pain screams to the forefront of human awareness, blocking other details from our perspective.

The amount of time it takes to recover varies with how deeply we’ve been impacted by the shifting circumstances around us. Change can feel like a seismic event, but the painful aftershocks will diminish and the dust of our disorientation will settle after a while. Even before opening  our eyes to survey the land, we know it has changed. We don’t need to look to acknowledge the change has affected us. Life shifted, and things are not as they were.

I cannot move on from a state of loss until I open my eyes and accept the new reality. I must survey the landscape to identify my resources. A strange realization dawns in the moment of clarity after the impact has subsided. Despite the change, all is not lost. My greatest resource remained with me even when I could not see Him.

In the tumult of life in this errant world, God remains steadfast. He never leaves us. His love gushes endlessly over us whether we sense it or not. Often, He brings our sweetest blessings in the times we feel most lost and alone. Regardless of the many transitions and losses we experience, God never changes.

As my maturing sons depart and I work and worship, landscapes transform; these changes occur on the temporary plane of my existence. Even if I lose all I hold dear, the Lord will sustain me with His precious loving presence to the end of mortality. And then, all be restored. Adonai, Whose every work surpasses excellence, revitalizes life with extra gobs of glory lavished on top. Eternity will gather my entire spiritual family to worship and serve together. Ultimately, nothing will be lost forever. I will be better than okay.

  “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deut. 31:6).

What changes are you experiencing today? Try offering a prayer of trust and praise with me. Choose to believe in God’s steadfast nature, despite the shuddering earth. Let’s cling with all our faith to the Rock in the midst of life’s quake.

By Tina Yeager, author of Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You

Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You empowers women to break free from the traps of insecurity and sabotaging mindsets. As empowered warriors, women can raise their shields and become the divine heroines they were destined to become. With therapeutic tips, a solid biblical foundation, and empowering questions, women can free themselves from ongoing negative patterns, overcome common obstacles to healthy self-esteem, deepen awareness of Christ-centered identity, and embrace divine esteem.To connect with Tina, visit tinayeager.com.

 

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Filed Under: Hope, Knowing God, loss, New Directions, Pain, Peace, Problems, stress, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

When You Need a 911 Prayer Line

July 24, 2019 by 2 Comments

Jason Leung

A few years ago, when Hurricane Matthew was bearing down upon our home in Florida, my daughter in California texted me the entire passage of Psalm 91, a comforting Psalm about God’s protection.

A year later, when fires raged not far from her California home, I texted her that same Psalm to reassure her that God was watching over her.

Psalm 91 became our go-to scripture whenever we needed peace to face frightening circumstances.

Months later while we were again dealing with a worrisome situation, my daughter pointed out an amazing fact about this powerful scripture.

When we read or pray over Psalm 91, we are dialing 911 to God. Psalm 91:1 and the verses that follow bring on God’s rescue team whenever we’re afraid. They are full of His promises. And when we are fearful, these words not only comfort our hearts, but cover us with God’s loving protection so He can shield us from harm. Psalm 91:1 begins:

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday” (Psalm 91:1-6).

Life can be scary at times. Recently our world has been besieged with hurricanes, fires, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, and even a volcanic eruption. But frequently the fear is more personal. It may be a life-threatening physical ailment, a relationship breakdown like a separation or impending divorce, financial hardship, or mental or emotional stress from the many pressures we face.

Just as we dial 911 to bring the ambulance to our doorstep, when we call out to God, we summon His angels to our rescue. And just as we need to trust the paramedics to skillfully handle our situation and treat our wounds, so we must trust our heavenly Father to take command of our circumstances. Then His peace will quiet our hearts and assure us that He is in control.

Verse 10 of Psalm 91 continues with, “If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the Lord, who is my refuge—then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” (Psalm 91:10-11).

When we ask God to abide with us as our Lord and Savior, our 911 emergency prayer mode can kick in more naturally to provide sure and lasting protection when danger threatens.  For when we ask Him to take a permanent role in our lives, He walks with us through our troubles.  We need only to call on Him to bring Him to our rescue. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him” (Psalm 91: 14-15).

Whenever you feel overwhelmed with fear, call God’s 911 hotline by turning to Psalm 91:1 and the verses that follow. His promises will calm your heart and remind you that you have a mighty God who loves you and watches over you. All you have to do is call on His name.

 

If you are struggling through a difficult time in your marriage, please check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated

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365 Devotions for Hope – Interview with author, Karen Whiting

August 17, 2016 by 14 Comments

365Devotions4Hope - Karen WhitingWhen people read my Heart Talk blog, one of the main things I want them to find is hope—even when it’s “in unexpected places.”  As long as we have hope, we can make it through even the toughest situations. Today I’m pleased to interview Karen Whiting about one of her latest books, 365 Devotions for Hope. Karen is an international speaker, former TV host, and the author of twenty-two books. She loves to let creativity splash on the pages she writes as she reaches out through her writing to help nurture wholesome families. If you’d like a FREE copy of Karen’s book, you can make a comment at the end of this interview to enter our drawing. Karen has also offered to give away a copy of another new book, releasing at the end of the year, called Christmas is Coming: Waiting is Hard. So make your comments below.

Linda: Karen, tell us why you believe hope is so important and why you decided to write about it.

Karen: Hope is what pulls us out of the deep trenches of pain. Hope is the anchor that we cling to tightly during storms that crash into our lives.

Linda: What are some of the topics and themes in your book, 365 Devotions for Hope?

Karen: The hope of the future, love, expectations, seeds of hope, CPR for hopeless times, hope when facing the unexpected, hope for the hurting, hope through renewed thinking, letting go of gloomy thoughts, and laughter.

Linda: Why is it sometimes so difficult to find hope even when we believe in God’s love and sovereignty?

Karen: We are human and our emotions are real. When we hurt, we don’t want platitudes. We want to fill the loneliness, sorrow, and other emotions we feel. In an instant gratification world, it’s hard to slowly go through the process and stages of grief. Time is still a great healer. We do need to allow ourselves to cry and take time for the healing.

Linda: Hope is what keeps us going in particularly hard times, but there are some situations where hope seems so remote. What are some thoughts for those facing struggles like divorce, marital separation, or death of a loved one?

Karen: A home that once filled with laughter and love is broken and shattered by divorce or loss. That’s a time to forgive and let God’s love fill the empty spots. It’s a time to renew friendships and invite friends in. It’s also a time to look outward, go to a place where you can see the horizon and know that God can see beyond the devastation you see now. He knows what blessings are coming. Cling to the hope of that future. Choose to hope.

Linda: What are a few times in your own life when you found hope when you needed it?

Karen: I need hope every day, but a few big struggles included the devastation of Hurricane Andrew to our home and the loss of my parents and then my husband.

Linda: What helped with the hurricane?Karen Whiting

Karen: A lot of it is in our attitude. My family likes to laugh. Before I even left the closet, I laughed. I had read scriptures all night to the children (hubby was away on military orders) and just read about Jesus calming the storm . We prayed and everything stilled. Silence reigned until my oldest son piped up, “Mom. You should have read that one first.”

When we realized the hurricane had totaled two bedrooms, the kitchen and lots of other things—altogether totaling $99,000—we added thanks and felt grateful for what remained.

Linda: What helped as you faced the loss of your mom, your dad, and your husband?

Karen: Remembering and sharing happy times in the past and laughing together even as my mom and later husband faced terminal cancer. Our family remained close and shared stories as we also shared our sorrow. We made care packages for my mom, and my younger daughter recorded songs for my husband. All those helped us focus on the love we shared and the eternal hope of God.

Laughter helps us smile and face hardships easier. When Jim had chemo, he’d say, “Ah, just as I got my superman strength back, they hit me with kryptonite again” and other little jokes.

We shared stories of fun times from the past. We always laughed when we recalled how our 2.5 year old son had not talked except a few words until he fell off a sled Jim was pulling through the snow. Micahe stood up and yelled, “Hey, Dad, what’s the big idea?”

With Dad, we had him retell times he snitched watermelons or other antics as a child. One of the last days my dad was able to talk, his little sister came to the hospital and he ended up telling her for the first time everything that happened the day of her birth (he was 16). She shared some of her favorite memories with him. Sharing stories and laughter are some of the best ways to say goodbye.

Linda: I’m intrigued by your care package idea. I know you didn’t live close to your parents at the time. What little treasures did you include?

Karen: Photos and taped messages, dry shampoo, favorite snacks, tiny stuffed animals, and gifts the children made. It provided something positive for my parents to talk about each day. Some days Mom opened several as we promised to send new packages as needed.

Linda: What do you say to a woman who’s lost her husband to give her hope?

Karen: Sometimes it is better not to speak, but to simply hug the person and sit with her. Listen to her as she talks of her loss. Then hug her again.

Linda: There are lots of books on hope, but I know your book is a devotional book. How is reading a devotional book on hope different from reading a regular book on hope?

Karen: A devotional gives people small bites every day. Often, when someone is depressed or needing hope it is harder to focus for a long time so a little bit is easier. Also, for those struggling over a long period, having something positive each day gives them a continual lift about the problems.

Linda: I noticed you have an anchor on the cover of your book? Is there any significance to that? What are a few of the illustrations you use in the book?

Karen: As a Coast Guard wife, I use quite a few nautical illustrations with different types of anchors, tides, and moorings. I also use the newness of flowers, a child’s laugh, and quotes plus anecdotes from people who overcame great odds.

Linda: Where can people find your book, 365 Devotions for Hope?

Karen: Anywhere books are sold. I suggest they support their local bookstores as they are beacons of light in a dark world and disappearing too fast. You can find more about my other books at (www.karenwhiting.com)

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