Sifting Our Hearts in Times of Turmoil

June 10, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Aaron Burden

When troubling times come to our nation, I can’t help wondering what God is doing. In these situations, my mind often drifts to some thought-provoking words in the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.” The words were penned during the Civil War by Julia Ward Howe who was an abolitionist. Stanza 4 declares:  “He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat. Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

As I look at what has been happening in our country during the last couple of weeks – the angst and pain, the mayhem and anger, I hear those words in my head “He is sifting out the hearts of men . . . .” and I wonder.

Is that what God is doing? Is He sifting our hearts? And are we listening? Are we listening to what God is saying to us during these times?

What is God Saying to Us?

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”  And Proverbs 21:2 pushes the point even further by convicting us of our own stubbornness. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

It’s the human condition. We are fallen creatures. And unfortunately we often seem to need a time of tribulation for God to get our attention. We see this stated again and again throughout scripture. Proverbs 17:3 compares the testing of our hearts to the refining of gold and silver. “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold. But the Lord tests the heart.”

We have been in the refining pot of late. We may even feel like we’ve been in the furnace. First, during this pandemic, and now in the frightful aftermath of the injustice witnessed in the cruel death of an innocent man.

And I believe God is getting our attention.

In the shock and dismay I see around this land, I see walls crumbling – people who have stood on different sides of the divide – suddenly expressing a new understanding. Hearts are opening in the midst of God’s refining fire. And perhaps this is what God wants to do with us as a people—to sift out the hearts of men before his judgment seat so we can see one another through His eyes. For I believe before the wrongs of our society can be changed, our hearts must change first.

A Demonstration of God’s Healing Love

At Faith Assembly of God in Orlando last Sunday morning, I witnessed a beautiful example of what we as Christians can do to come together with those of other races.

Toward the end of the service, Pastor Carl Stephens (who is white) called a young black man to the stage, who told his story of growing up in a small Georgia town, where he was snubbed and subjected to a steady diet of racial slurs, indignities, and shame throughout his young life. Although he was initially taught to hate those who hated him, some white people who looked past his color to value him as a person opened his heart to another way. One of these was a police officer. But the true answer for racial harmony, he said, lies in hearts being changed by Jesus Christ.

His story was sobering, but what followed touched me more deeply than I can describe.

Pastor Stephens lead him to a chair, knelt, and took a basin of water with which he washed the young black man’s feet. As he did so he spoke about Jesus’ love and Jesus’ example to us of how to serve one another with humility and love.  During those few moments, I know many tears were shed throughout the congregation as we watched this beautiful demonstration of the love of Jesus. It was a time of humility and healing.

The healing that occurred in this church where there is an even mix of races—black, white and Hispanic—was a powerful expression of what we as Christians can do when we allow God’s Word to penetrate our hearts.

Somehow this hit me more acutely than ever before in a way that humbled me as a white woman. I saw the pain and fear that many black people must endure in their daily life. And I couldn’t help thinking: perhaps this is the answer—Christians of all colors and races coming together in the humility of washing each other’s feet.

We are called as Christians to love one another, to serve one another, to have compassion for one another, Colossians 3:12 says, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.”

Correcting the injustices and ills of our society needs to begin with changing the hearts of its people, and the greatest changer of hearts is Jesus Christ. If each of us searches our own hearts, if we allow the love of Jesus to sift through any insensitivities or wrong thinking we have clung to, perhaps we will begin to see the healing of our nation.

“Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

 

You can read more about the origins of The Battle Hymn of the Republic here.

Read the story of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet here: John 13:1-17

 

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Filed Under: Conflict, Danger, Fear, forgiveness, Grief, Hope, Jesus, national concerns, New Directions, Peace, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, Interview with Author Rebecca Carpenter

May 7, 2020 by Leave a Comment

As I begin this interview with author Rebecca Carpenter, over 68,000 people are reported to have died from Covid 19 in the United States and over 259,000 throughout the world. The subject of dying is not far from our minds. But for some of us the subject is far too personal. Loved ones have died, and whether or not they died from Covid 19 or another cause, they have been taken from us. We grieve for them.

When Rebecca Carpenter’s husband died six years ago, she grieved also, but in the midst of her grief God brought a comfort to her she didn’t expect. Her book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, has brought comfort and solace to many, and I pray it can also comfort some of you who have lost loved ones.

Linda: Rebecca, what prompted you to write a book on grief?  

Rebecca: I certainly didn’t plan to write a book about grief. For years, I wrote devotionals about nature and articles for my church, magazines, and anthologies. Sometimes I sent emails of my work and printed out stories for friends. When people commented that they enjoyed reading my writings, my son set up a blog for me.

After I retired, I spent hours on my patio watching wildlife and getting ideas for my devotionals. My husband Alan and I traveled around the world so I also wrote about our trips. He constantly encouraged me to write. My parents often told me how much they liked what I wrote.

Difficult situations changed my life. Mother’s health deteriorated. Leukemia, diabetes, and other health issues curtailed her normally active life.

Not long after that, Alan learned he had idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. For a while his symptoms were mild. But they increased and our traveling stopped. Even normal daily activities wore him out. Except for doctor visits, he stayed home.

While I dealt with both of them, my dad’s health also declined. For years, he fought to regain strength after heart surgeries, knee surgeries, cancer and multiple other health problems. But when constantly visiting my mom in the nursing home, he had multiple strokes and never fully recovered from the major ones.

My life consisted of caring for Alan and taking care of financial and health matters for my parents. Stress joined me every day. Writing provided a release for my pain and grief at knowing I was losing them.

Within eleven months, all three passed away. Writing every day helped me deal with my losses. When I shared my writings, friends told me to put my devotionals into a book.

At first I resisted because writing a book seemed overwhelming.  But over and over, I heard I should do it. Finally, I felt God telling me the book would help others who were grieving. Only then did I realize I had to do it and God would help me.

Since Alan, mom and dad had encouraged me to write, I felt a book on grief would be a tribute to them.

Linda: Why did you choose the title Ambushed by Glory in My Grief? 

When I was mourning the loss of my husband, my mom, and my dad, God often showed up in wonderful but unexpected ways. 

At times, I felt foggy and unfocused. Just when I thought I was handling grief well, a memory, song or situation threw me back into sadness and tears. It helped just to discover my feelings were normal, which I learned by attending Griefshare, a Christian support group for people who are grieving. At Griefshare, I learned grief ambushed me.

When I shared my writings and my need for a title in my writers critique group at Word Weavers International, one of my fellow writers suggested this title. It was perfect.

Linda: Does your book cover represent anything special?

Rebecca: Yes, it does. With God ambushing me over and over with surprises of His glory, I wanted to show light with the darkness. I used a picture of sunrise over my lake.

The lake calms me and constantly provides beauty and lessons from His creation. Sunrises, eagles in the trees, ducks on the lake, flowers of all kinds are a few examples. I feel blessed every time I look out over the lake and know God is with me through all kinds of circumstances. I wanted my book to show that even in dark times, Jesus shows up as the Light.

Linda: How did Alan’s illness affect your marriage?

Rebecca: We had only been married three years when he received his diagnosis. However, we dated for seven years before our marriage, which was the year we both retired.

Because we both had been single for a long time, we didn’t jump into marriage again quickly. I had been single for sixteen years and he was single for twenty-six. When we finally married, we looked at things differently than we would have as youngsters. Although both of us had our own ideas of how to do things, a sense of humor helped prevent major struggles.

We enjoyed working together, traveling and going on mission trips. He always looked out for me and took care of chores I had been used to doing myself as a single parent. I felt pampered. I loved doing things for him too.

After our last mission trip, he felt worse. When we visited his doctor, Alan shocked me by asking the doctor how long he had to live. Although I knew he was more fatigued, I didn’t want to admit the terminal disease was taking his life. Our time together was supposed to be much longer.

The doctor said, “Six months.”

I could hardly breathe. Somehow, I made it to the car and picked Alan up from a wheelchair in front of the building. I had become his caregiver. No longer could he take care of me like I was used to. I hated the role reversal and so did he.

When we got home, he called hospice and they came out that day. He began his journey of dying with a purpose. On a legal sized paper, he wrote a long list of items to accomplish for his limited time. Most of what he wrote benefited me. He wanted to make life easier for me before he died and after he was gone.

Every day, I think of how much he loved me and showed it by using his limited energy for tasks like making phone calls to insurance companies, buying a new car and bike for me, and giving away some of his clothes.

There was sadness during his final months, but our love for each other pushed it to the side. We wanted to make the most of every day. We didn’t argue or complain but enjoyed being together.

Unfortunately, the doctor was wrong. Alan only lived two months longer and not six.

Linda: It sounds like Alan did indeed take care of you, even in those months before he died. Since that time, how has publishing your book changed your life?

Rebecca: Frequently, I hear from people who have read my book and have been encouraged. There is a ripple effect as they give my book to others who are grieving. People open up to me in their pain because they know I understand.

I feel compassion in a new way for those with losses. My heart hurts for them. Because I have been comforted, I can do the same for them. I ask God each day to show me who I can help and frequently, it is someone who is grieving.

Linda: Have you finished grieving after six years?

Rebecca: No. However, the grief is less intense and more like an ache instead of a sharp pain. Ambushes still occur but less frequently. Last year on Alan’s birthday, I cried easily for two days. The year before I didn’t cry at all. I have learned grief is unpredictable but so are the wonderful ambushes of God. He has been with me through the entire process and enables me to reach out to others who are grieving.

Linda: Where can people find your book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, and how can they find your blog?

Rebecca: People can find my book on Amazon in both print and kindle formats and also in some local Christian bookstores. I’d love to have people visit me on my blog at http://rebeccacarpenter.blogspot.com

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, comfort, Death, faith, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, Interviews, Jesus, Lonliness, loss, New Directions, Peace, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Dying to Meet Jesus, Author Interview with Randy Kay

April 9, 2020 by 1 Comment

We’re living through a scary time in our world with the daily death toll from Covid 19 rising each time we turn on the TV. But author Randy Kay has no fear of death any more. Because of a near death experience a few years back, Randy Kay can encourage those of us in the age of Covid 19 through his description of what it’s like to experience heaven. His new book, Dying to Meet Jesus, begins with his near-death-experience after dying and meeting Jesus in heaven. As CEO of PACEsetters and chairman of TenorCorp, Kay has written for Forbes and the Wall Street Journal.

As we look forward to Easter and the celebration of new life Jesus brings to us through His death and resurrection, Randy’s story gives us a riveting  glimpse into the heaven our God has prepared for us.

Linda: Randy, I understand you have more than 30 years of experience working in business and are the founder of PACEsetters. Tell us more about your background and how you became a Christian.

 Randy: ​I was a devout agnostic in my youth and challenged all religions through a comprehensive study at Northwestern University that I detail in my book.

Our researchers debunked all religions except Christianity. Most religions were created by a single individual or a fusion of beliefs. However, we discovered that the biblical account of God being true was validated with a probability ratio of 1.26 million to one! After that I cried out to an unknown God: “If you’re real, I need to know you as genuinely as I know my loved ones on earth.”

After surviving a near-fatal car crash, I began my sincere search to learn about the God of the Bible. I attended a church near Chicago and responded to an invitation for attendees who wished to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I prayed, and later that night I indeed met Jesus Christ in my spirit. Still, I remained a bit of a skeptic. I certainly did not believe in near-death-experiences (NDEs). That is, until I had my own.

Linda: I watched a TV interview with you and saw that you experienced a miraculous face-to-face encounter with Jesus, meeting Him at the point of death. Do you recall your first thoughts when seeing Jesus in heaven during that near death experience? ​

Randy: Yes, I clinically died from multiple blood clots and a drug-resistant infection throughout my body. My heart stopped beating.

I remember that first time meeting Jesus as vividly as if I were there right now. My “cheek to cheek” meeting with Jesus brings me to tears whenever I think back on it. My first thought in heaven was: “So this is Love.” Jesus hugged me, tightly. He did not have to say that He loved me, because His presence permeated every fiber of my being. I remember a sense of “knowing” – knowing that Jesus was my all, and that nothing could happen to me without Jesus being with me. Perfect peace and comfort possessed me. “I am with you always,” He said. I just caved into His chest. I felt at home like never in this world.

Linda: Can you describe the senses you experienced during your time with Jesus?

Randy: ​In heaven, Jesus fulfilled all of my needs, so I did not long for anything and I certainly had no worldly cares. Being with Jesus was sufficient for me. This is a difficult thing to describe, because that sense is like nothing on this earth. It was total completeness, absolute contentment. Another sense I experienced was that I had all of Jesus’ attention. I knew that He held the cares of the world, but I felt as though I was an audience of one.

As to heaven itself, the colors were more vibrant, the fragrances more aromatic, the landscape more beautiful than anything in this world. Everything was alive. The glory of God rested through the environs, and everyone and everything worshipped the Lord.

I remember the angelic chorus, rows of linens, the joy on the faces of everyone in paradise…there really are no adequate words to describe heaven. It was like walking into another dimension, as though I was viewing a beautifully painted landscape and then suddenly I had stepped into a living version of that landscape.

Linda: What a beautiful, comforting picture you present! Particularly at a time like this. Since your near death experience, have you struggled at all to share this story? How have people reacted to the story of your near death experience?

Randy: ​It took me 14 years before I could share my near death experience publicly. Before then, only a handful of people knew about it. There was no need to share it with others who might trivialize the most important meeting in my life. That is, until I was interviewed on GodTV about a business book I had written, and the interviewer (who was my former pastor), asked me about my near death experience. I cried while sharing my story for the first time publicly.

On the flight back, the Holy Spirit prompted me to write another book. However, this time the Holy Spirit prompted me to write about “our special time together.” At first, sharing this experience was hard. I felt like I was defiling something sacred, but then God’s peace and inspiration filled me, and the writing just flowed out. That is how I wrote Dying to Meet Jesus.

I now pray that readers will know God more intimately after reading this book. Also, I wanted to address the question as to why a loving God allows suffering. I hope that readers will better understand why God allows brokenness and suffering to happen, since I share several stories of brokenness involving others as well as my own sufferings. I share the suffering of my daughter’s struggles with drugs, illness, rape and attempted suicide for the first time. I also share my own struggles with depression. Several others in my life allowed me to share their stories of brokenness also.

Linda: What trials did you face after your near death experience? Did you expect to face more trials, or did you believe that the worst was behind you?

Randy: I never doubted God’s Love after my near death experience, but I did struggle. In fact, some of my greatest sufferings occurred after meeting Jesus. I lost my job, my financial security, and almost lost my family. At times I wondered why God did not just take me when He “had the chance.” However, in heaven, Jesus told me that He was returning me to this world because my purpose had yet to be fulfilled. Since then, I began teaching people how to thrive in life and how to overcome struggles.

Previously, I was a corporate executive. I lost almost all of my savings trying to fulfill the purpose with which God commissioned me, but I never doubted God’s hand in my life. When challenges arise, my Lord tells me to “trust” Him, and that He will always make my path straight. I am continually reminded that God is still with me.

Linda: Did your near death experience change your outlook on life? Please tell us a little about that.

​Randy: I know Love as a person and as a guiding presence, and that has made all the difference in my life. I can handle challenges better because of this deeply embedded awareness of Jesus as my friend. He is more real to me than most people I know! I can speak to others about God with more confidence and understanding. And, this has given me an insight into Jesus’ absolute devotion to His children that has transcended into every area of life, both the good and the bad.

Linda: In your book, you say, “Friends, be careful what you pray for.” Why do you have this reminder? ​

Randy: God answers prayer, but He will do it in a way that is best, even if the way to attain what we need is fraught with challenges. God desires our best, whereas we oftentimes desire what is convenient, or what appears good. This world sullies us with its temptations and false teachings. God refines us through a process of redemption. As a father, I know that the most painful process of parenting is allowing my children to go through challenges for their own good. God may allow suffering for a reason, but He will never leave us there. God collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and from those tears He produces a river of abundant life. That is what I saw in heaven.

Linda: During this scary time in our world, what message of hope can you give to people who pick up your book out of fear of dying or bereavement?

Randy: For the believer in Jesus Christ, there is no real death. I never experienced a sense of having died. I only experienced a transition to another place.

Leaving this world will be like leaving your workplace, and then suddenly finding yourself on a glorious vacation with the One who loves you most.  For anyone who has lost a loved one in Christ, know that he/she feels more alive today, as difficult as that may seem. There remains an empty place for those of us who are left behind, but I can assure you that we can look forward to an eternity in heaven with no remembrance of our losses or sufferings.

Grieving for a lost loved one is normal, but only because we will never again see our loved one in this world again. For believers in Jesus Christ, think of dying as similar to saying goodbye at the airport knowing you will not see your loved one for a while, but also knowing that someday, you will meet again. Celebrate that your born-again loved one is experiencing the best time of his or her life. And soon, like a blink of the eye from an eternal perspective, you will meet again in paradise. That will be a “wowsa moment!”

Linda: This is an amazing story, and I know people will be interested in reading more. Where can readers go to connect with you and buy a copy of Dying to Meet Jesus?

Randy: You can find the book at Amazon , Barnes & Noble , Christianbook.com, or your local book store.

Watch Randy Kay’s Interview on the Cornerstone Television Network

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Filed Under: BOOKS, comfort, Death, Doubt, Easter, Fear, Grief, Hope, Jesus, Surrendering to God, Time with God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Social-Distancing-Safe Easter Event for Kids

April 2, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Easter is coming, and the kids are at home and anxious for something to do. Community Easter egg hunts and parties have been cancelled, and churches have gone online.

The world seems to have turned upside down, but even in the midst of this pandemic, Easter is coming! We will still celebrate Jesus’ rising from the dead to bring us new life through his sacrifice on the cross. We will still praise Him for His mercies and grace. He is king of all creation.

But how do we celebrate Easter with our kids in this lockdown? My article, “Bringing Children to the Heart of Easter” in the March issue of MTL Magazine might provide some ideas for you.

A Neighborhood Social-Distancing-Safe Event for the Kids

In addition, however, we can also give our children a fun neighborhood event which is social-distancing-safe to celebrate the coming of Easter. With kids stuck  at home during this pandemic, the Moon Rabbit Watch Party provides an opportunity for kids to enjoy a new discovery that will delight them for years to come. You can also use it to teach your children about what Jesus did for us at Easter. And you can make it a neighborhood party that is social-distancing-safe!

Since the date for Easter is determined by the first full moon after the advent of spring, the moon plays a significant part in the coming of Easter. But what is most intriguing to those of us in the U.S. is the discovery that there is also a rabbit in the shadows of the moon! Although most of us in the West have never heard of him, those in Asian countries have celebrated him for centuries. They have even created legends about how the rabbit got there. You can see this rabbit in the moon for yourself when the full moon arrives on April 7. But be sure to include your kids!

A Rabbit in the Moon and the Moon Rabbit Watch Party

And this year, when everyone is secluded in their homes, you can make it a neighborhood party – The Moon Rabbit Watch Party that is social-distancing-safe.  Plus, you can use it to have a meaningful talk with your kids about what Jesus did for us at Easter. The coincidence between the Easter bunny and the fact that there is a rabbit in the moon brings a new twist to the Easter bunny and gives us something fun to add to our Easter tradition.

The Neighborhood Moon Rabbit Watch Party fills the gap in preparation for the coming of Easter when Easter egg hunts have disappeared and everyone has to stay at home. Neighbors begin by hanging a balloon in front of their house to let people know they are part of the party, then look for the rabbit in the moon from their own yard on the evening of April 7. When they see him, they blow on a horn, ring a bell, or shout, “I see the rabbit.”  They can share pictures on Instagram too. It’s a way to have a neighborhood family event that is social-distancing-safe to herald the coming of Easter.

Tying This All to The True Easter Story

The Bunny Side of Easter

But how does this tie into the true Easter story and what Jesus did for us on the cross? In my children’s Easter picture book, The Bunny Side of Easter, I use this premise about the rabbit in the moon to tell an exciting, but winsome adventure story about how the heroism of a little rabbit made him the Easter bunny and the rabbit in the moon. In the story, bits of allegory about the bunny’s heroism point children to Jesus, the biggest hero of all. You can learn more at my website: bunnysideofeaster.com, where you can also download a discussion guide for parents to help you use the story to point your children to what Jesus did for them on the cross at Easter. On the website, you can also get a FREE FUNPACK of activities for kids to keep them busy and entertained when you order one of the books. The book is also available on Amazon and you can get it on Prime here. (But it won’t include the FUNPACK.)

Children delight in discovering the rabbit in the moon and love hearing stories of how he got there. The rabbit can be seen in the shadows on the left side of every full moon. You might see a large bunny facing to the left with his ears back and an Easter egg at his feet. Or you might make out a bunny facing to the right with his ears flopped over and his head bowed in prayer. Or you might spot a smaller bunny at the top. He can be seen in three different ways.

If you want to join the Neighborhood Moon Rabbit Watch Party and make it a neighborhood event that is social-distancing-safe, you can download flyers about the event from my website at http://bunnysideofeaster.com/happenings/neighborhood-events/ to distribute the flyer in your own neighborhood.

Remember that regardless of this pandemic, Easter is coming to remind us that Jesus conquered death and gives life to those who seek Him. Let’s share this hope with others and give our children the message of new life that will shape their lives from this time forward.

For a preview about The Bunny Side of Easter, watch this Video Trailer

The Bunny Side of Easter

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Filed Under: Children, Easter, Jesus, Knowing God, Love, parenting, Receiving Christ, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Finding a Deeper Love

February 12, 2020 by Leave a Comment

As February 14 approaches so does Valentine Day.  It’s all about hearts and flowers and love. In every store we see Valentine cards, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and huggy stuffed bears saying, “I love you.”

It’s a happy, fun time for many and an opportunity to celebrate that special person in your life. But for some of you the advent of Valentine’s Day magnifies the pain that already eats away at your heart.  Focusing on love is the last thing you want to do.

If that’s where you are today, raise your eyes above the frills and flowery language. Let your heart rest in a prayer to the One who will love you forever.

The human love we experience here on earth is a mere shadow of the deep and eternal love that will never disappoint and always hold us close. By looking up instead of inward, we can chase away those fears of rejection by earthly lovers and embrace the true lover of our souls.

The author of love stands ready to enfold us in His arms. He is always ready to give and receive our love. He will never leave us. His is the pure, unconditional love we long for, but will never find on this earth among fallen humankind.

Who else would pursue us through eternity to give us life by subjecting Himself to his own death?  Who else is so intent on giving us joy that He would take upon Himself intense sorrow and pain so we can live with Him forever?

Not only will he never leave us, He has literally turned the world upside down so we can be with Him. He longs to be with us so we can enter into the wonder of an eternity He has prepared for us.

In the book of Ephesians, Paul pleads for us to understand this when he says: “I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.”  (Ephesians 3:17-19 Living Bible)

Cling now to these words. Fill your mind up with this incredible truth. Open your heart to Paul’s prayer in Ephesians and accept God’s deep and wondrous love that is meant for YOU.

Can you truly wrap your mind around, “How long, how wide, how deep, and how high [Christ’s] love really is?”  How amazing this is!  How incomprehensible. This Valentine’s Day meditate on these words.  Let God’s deep love embrace you.

If you look up instead of inward, as my grandchildren often say, “It may be the best Valentine’s Day ever.”

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

* * *

If Valentine’s Day is a hard day for you because of a marriage that is broken, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, may give you the hope you need to regain the love you thought you’d lost.

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When the “Merry” Has Disappeared from Christmas

December 18, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Christmas seems to have fully arrived. You see it everywhere you go. Festive displays glisten on the main streets of town. Lights sparkle throughout the neighborhood.  The words Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday greet you continually.

But for many of you the “merry” has disappeared from Christmas this year.  Things are different, and a “Merry Christmas” greeting has a hollow ring. Your heart is heavy with the idea of how you will even “get through” Christmas. This isn’t the Christmas you wanted. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. The sparkle and laughter are gone as memories of Christmases past assault your heart, and anxiety nibbles at future hopes and dreams.

When gloom hangs over our lives, however, we may discover within ourselves a more natural yearning to peer into the reality of the Christmas we celebrate. As we put aside the glamour, it becomes easier to travel back to how it all began—before the sparkle, before the happy music, before the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping.

There was hustle and bustle on that day, but not of people shopping; it was the descending of large numbers of people upon a small town, all trying to find the basic comforts of a place to stay and something to eat. We see a young woman, nine months pregnant riding a donkey. Can you imagine riding 80 miles on a donkey when you are nine months pregnant? And when she was ready to deliver her baby, who was the Son of the eternal God, she couldn’t even find a decent place to stay. Imagine having to deliver your baby in a smelly stable!

And that is how God came to us – not in a convenient, clean, easy way, but through tough and challenging circumstances. No warm, fine bed for Mary, the mother of God, no fragrant rooms, no support of family and friends who were far away and may have even questioned her virtue and the conception of this baby. No, God came to us in the midst of doubt, confusion, political unrest, and physical hardship. When God sent his Son to be born on this earth, he didn’t clear an easy path for him. He didn’t have a room waiting in Bethlehem. It was hard.

And, oftentimes, that is the way God still comes to us.  In the distractions of active lives, we are often too busy to notice God’s presence. We may have thought we had everything figured out ourselves – that we’d surely find a room in Bethlehem.  We never expected to have to stay in a smelly stable.  We still can’t figure out why things have turned out the way they have.

But, cradled on a bed of hay, in the middle of the odors and pain, we see a tiny baby, the gift of God’s love. It was the first time God was visible to mankind. And in the midst of the difficulties of your life, God has come to show you Himself. It is sometimes only when these other things are stripped away that our eyes are fully opened and we see beyond the glitter into the glory where finally we see Christmas. Perhaps for the first time, the invisible God becomes visible in our eyes, and we see Jesus himself.

God has come to love you with a love you will not find anywhere else—not in a husband or wife, not a parent or a child or a friend. God’s love will not fail you. It is unconditional and everlasting. He will not always show you a clear, easy path to your destination. But He will be with you and guide you, and at just the right time, He may prompt the wife of an innkeeper to say, “I have a place for you. I have an answer. There’s a stable out back…”

His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than ours. He has a plan that is beyond anything we can see. When we take hold of God, we move beyond the barriers of our finite understanding into the reaches of God’s eternal purposes. Eternity is within our grasp. We become a part of His story.

Two thousand years ago, Mary and Joseph didn’t hear the refrains of Silent Night as they gathered clean straw to make a bed for Mary to bear a child; they didn’t see the picturesque setting of a child being born in a manger as they settled down among the animals. It was hard.

But God came to them in the middle of these difficult circumstances, not just for them, but for us.  Jesus was born into our world and into our lives.  And this is the Christmas we celebrate…a Christmas born in hardship, but wrapped in holiness and love, extending through all the ages of the earth into the glories and wonders of eternity.

If the “merry” has disappeared from your Christmas, may God’s blessings shine through the midst of your circumstances and give you a deep joy and peace that rises high above and beyond your understanding.

*  * *

And if the merry has disappeared from your Christmas because of a marriage in crisis, you can find hope and healing in my books Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

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Filed Under: Christmas, Depression, Expectations, faith, Jesus, Knowing God, Problems, Receiving Christ, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

A God Who Works Behind the Scenes

December 11, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Tim Marshall

One of the things in life that seems to stymie me is how to control the huge amounts of mail we receive. Each day the mailman brings piles of mail, most of them solicitation letters and many from very worthy causes. I hate to ignore them, but I don’t have time to sort through them all each day so I end up putting them aside for a later time.

This week I spent the day sorting through stacks of solicitation letters from various ministries to decide where to give our support. There are so many needs, and so many ministries have risen up to meet those needs. It’s both heartbreaking and inspiring to read some of these letters. But two in particular caught my eye.

God Moving Behind the Scenes Around the World

First I read letters from CRU (Campus Crusade for Christ), telling about ministering to Middle-eastern refugees who had fled their native lands, fearful for their lives. For the first time, these people from countries that were closed to the gospel heard about the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Many of them accepted Christ as their savior. Even the media had begun to notice said CRU. NBC News quoted someone as saying, “After I witnessed [the extremists’] brutality with my own eyes, I started to be skeptical about my belief . . . it didn’t take me long to discover that Christianity was the religion I was searching for.” Newsweek reported, “(Multiple) factors (are) producing a climate ripe for large-scale and widespread conversions [to Christianity].”

Then I read some letters from Wycliffe Bible Translators, a ministry that translates Bibles into different languages around the world. Although my husband and I had never donated to them before, I remembered my parents supporting them in years gone by. I knew them to be a very solid ministry.  As I picked up their letters and began to read, I found their message staggering.  “God has opened an unprecedented window of opportunity,” they said. “God is working mightily . . . even in places where Islamic terrorists are brutalizing thousands. People are coming to faith, underground churches are being planted, God is moving!

“Across the Middle East, Africa, and Asia,” they explained, “oppressive regimes devote themselves to crushing out any flicker of Christianity. People who leave their traditional religious system, and place their faith in Jesus Christ, risk their lives. . . . But here’s the shocker: Christians suffering unspeakable persecution in the Middle East, Africa, and Asia, aren’t pleading with us for protection. They’re not even asking us for the basic necessities of life. They want just one thing more than anything else in the world. They’re asking for Bibles in the language of their own people.”

God’s Amazing Ways

As I laid these letters on the table, I sat amazed once again at the mysterious workings of God. While I had been watching in horror the unfolding drama of brutality, terror, and bloodshed on the news coming out of the Middle East, God was working behind the scenes to once again “bring good out of bad” (Romans 8:28) “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)” Men, women and children from severely authoritarian and repressive nations where Christianity was forbidden fled their countries in fear, only to discover a freedom in Christ they didn’t know existed.

As awful as the news was, God was behind the scenes using it for His purposes – to spread the truth of His love and forgiveness to unreached peoples in closed nations and give them the words of eternal life. Victims of danger and violence left their homes and everything they knew to find safety, not knowing they were running into a safety beyond anything they had ever known in the loving arms of Jesus.

God Moving Behind the Scenes in Our Personal Lives

These stories reminded me once again of the truth that has lived in my heart for decades, the truth of Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purposes.” God never wastes our circumstances. When we look to Him and trust Him to use both the good and the bad for His purposes, He brings about amazing results. I saw it in my life when my husband and I reunited after a three-year separation. I’ve seen it in the lives of others who experienced years of heartache or addiction, only to recover and lead an extraordinarily fruitful life afterwards. We have seen it again and again in the lives of those to whom we have ministered through my books and our marriage ministry.

God is so faithful to those who turn to Him. It’s easy to get discouraged during the dark times in our lives, but when we continue to trust God, He lets His light shine, and we experience His goodness. God is always working behind the scenes to bring about good for those who love Him.

Christians around the world pray for those who are lost, missionaries sacrifice comfort, convenience, family closeness and even their safety to spread the gospel of Jesus. Many are in these dangerous spots that are closed to Christianity and risk persecution if they are discovered. But all the while they are praying. When we read stories like these, we realize in amazement that God does indeed hear their prayers. And He is answering. We may not see it at first, but if we stay tuned, we will see that God has been behind the scenes all along.

We serve a powerful God. Nothing escapes Him. Nothing defeats Him. Nothing undermines Him. His purposes are pure and good and perfect, and what He has planned He will accomplish (Isaiah 46:11).

I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do. (Isaiah 46:10-11).

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Filed Under: Evangelism, Expectations, Fear, God's goodness, Hope, Knowing God, Problems, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Winning Him Without Words, 10 Keys To Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

October 10, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Author Interview with Lynn Donovan

If you are a Christian married to an unbeliever, you have a unique challenge in walking out your faith. Lynn Donovan, author of Winning Him Without Words, refers to it as a spiritually mismatched marriage and has traveled this path herself.  If you struggle with how to love both God and your spouse in a way that pleases each of them, I believe you will find hope and inspiration in what Lynn has to share with us today.

In addition to her book, Winning Him Without Words, Lynn is the author of two other related books as well: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage, and Not Alone, Trusting God To Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home. Lynn has appeared on 700 Club Interactive, Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson’s FamilyTalk, and FamilyLife Today

But I will let Lynn introduce herself and tell you more about her story.  Here’s Lynn.

Lynn:  Hello everyone! I’m joining your community this week to share a bit about my God-sized story. I’m so thankful that Linda has asked me to be a part of your home.

My friends, my story is about a Prodigal child – me (Luke 15:11-31). I fled my childhood Sunday school days in my twenties. I left my loving Father for all the promises the world said were mine. I met my husband in these dark years and we fell in love. We were married and for the first three years everything was fine. But the world’s lure proved shallow, unkind and untrue. I heard my faithful Father calling in the distance and He wooed me.

I went running home into the arms of my Papa and was thrilled to once again have a relationship with God. But, I ran home dragging my unbelieving spouse behind me kicking and screaming all the way. To say that my husband was unhappy about this new “Man” in my life, was a serious understatement.

I am unequally yoked.

There are many women such as me who sit alone week after week in church. There are women who are married to men who say they believe and yet they are also like me, living in a spiritually mismatched marriage. We are committed to our marriage covenant and wish to honor our Lord no matter how we arrived in our spiritually mismatched marriage.

My journey has been a crazy adventure, filled with loneliness at times, as my husband and I view life through two different world views. On this journey I’ve had to face fears over my children’s salvation, as well as having to live with the disappointment of attending church alone, wanting to be a “normal” couple, and the most difficult—the rejection of my faith by my best friend on earth.

But don’t feel sad for me….  Because I serve the risen Savior and through His love and power, I have discovered that the unequally yoked can truly thrive while living with an unbeliever. We can grow in our faith, love and respect for our spouse, raise our children to a vibrant faith, and walk in the Presence of the Most High.

Linda:  I’m looking forward to hearing what else you learned on this 22 year adventure, Lynn.  But tell me, what does your husband think about this ministry?

Lynn: By the grace of God my husband is fully supportive of my ministry and he encourages me to help others who are also in spiritually mismatched marriages. I call that a “Way cool God thing.”

Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

Linda:  Lynn, you mentioned to me that you discovered a powerful scripture that changed everything about your marriage.

Lynn: Yes, I did, it is: (Jesus) answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” —Luke 10:27

Linda: How did this make a difference in your marriage?

Lynn: When you love God, His Son and the Spirit with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength you are transformed. Your mind is transformed and then disappointment and bitterness no longer has influence in your life. You discover an unending joy bubbles out of you, flowing onto your husband and your children. This kind of love transforms a heart, heals a body, restores a marriage, and leads little ones to faith.

I had to remove my eyes and expectations from my human husband and place all of my hopes upon Christ. When I did this our marriage moved into THRIVING. My husband found freedom to discover God in his own way without my manipulation and I found my expectations were replaced by God explanations. I was transformed by the love of God.

It’s a miracle! Woo Hoo!!!!

And Linda one of my favorite truths I share is this:

A man can ignore a nagging wife, but he can’t ignore the truth of a transformed life.

Linda:  I like that.  But tell me what do you think is the biggest struggle for those who have a spiritually mismatched marriage?

Lynn:  Across the board, men and women, who are married to pre-believers (we like to call them pre-believers) struggle through a season of loneliness. In our book, Winning Him Without Words, the entire first chapter addresses this season. What I want to tell everyone who is unequally yoked is to press forward during this season. This is the training ground for growing your faith into a vibrant, strong and intimate love relationship with the Father.

You can overcome this. You can attend church alone and receive great blessing from your church family. You will discover the truth of Hebrews 13:5 God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Ministering to Your Children in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

Linda:  Many times I hear from people who are concerned as to how a spiritually mismatched marriage will affect the children.  What do you say to that?  And have you found specific encouragement in the Bible to help you on this walk?

Lynn:  Yes, there is actually a passage in the Bible that was written just for us. God knew there would be unbelievers married to believers and that’s why 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 exists. Let’s read it from the Message translation as it is rich in meaning and implication. This verse specifically gives me great comfort as a mother raising children in a spiritually mismatched home.

For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God. —1 Corinthians 7:12-14

I’m learning that when we as believers love Jesus and walk in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, we impact our environment. And, in fact, we bring God’s will and purposes into our lives and into the lives of our children. The living presence of God within us becomes so powerful that, Paul tells us through the believing spouse every member in the home is sanctified. The living presence of God is so contagious, so powerful, that it creates an umbrella of safety over anyone who comes into that environment.

Linda: So are you saying that it is simply your faith, walked out in the home, which ministers to your children?  Even though your husband has a different worldview, your faith is enough to point the children to God?

Lynn:  Yes, we as believers are uniquely positioned to release the purposes, the love and the very power of God into our children’s lives. Our kids are then included in God’s plans for their lives. They are sanctified—set apart as holy unto the Lord. They belong to the Lord. When we grasp this truth, praying with faith through the Holy Spirit for our kids, we need not live in fear for their salvation. Our love, our example, our Jesus is always enough. I believe this promise for my children’s future and for their eternity.

Wow…… just WOW!  Today if I can talk personally to your readers, I’d like to say, “Let the truth of this passage roar in your spirit. Your faith covers your home. This was a paradigm shift in my thinking and changed how I approached spiritual warfare for my kids and husband. My holiness covers them. They are under the love umbrella of God because an ordinary wife lives with Jesus in her heart and home. Of course, this isn’t a guarantee of their salvation but it is a great encouragement and it keeps me from living in constant fear for their eternity.

And Linda, our faith and our prayers truly impact our spouse. This year, 2019, after 27 years of contending for the faith of my husband, he was baptized on March 14th. As a special gift from the Father, this was ON our wedding anniversary. I pray that those reading this message will find their spouse comes to faith soon. And I affirm each one who is praying for an unsaved loved one. Don’t give up and believe. God is so good and loves your spouse.

Linda: That is so exciting, Lynn! What a beautiful testimony of living out your faith in a spiritually mismatched marriage. That must have been an absolute thrill for you.

Lynn: Yes, and I share more of my overcoming story in my new book, Marching Around Jericho, Praying Your Unsaved Spouse Into The Kingdom. The book launches in January 2020. I pray it reaches the hands of every spouse who walks this unique road of matrimony.

Linda: Thank you, Lynn.  I know this is a serious battle for a number of people reading this interview, and we need a real prayer covering for our homes and our children. Would you like to close us with a prayer?

Lynn: Lord, let this passage bring freedom to every woman and man here today. Let the truth and the power that comes with your living and active Word permeate every place in his or her heart and home. I ask that the Holy Spirit would prove the truth of how the prayers of a righteous mama (or papa) availeth much. In Jesus name. Amen.

Linda, thank you for allowing me to share the hope that I have. Hope is a person, Jesus Christ.

I love you and count it a privilege to be here with your community.

Linda: It’s been a blessing to all of us to hear your story about thriving in the midst of a spiritually mismatched marriage. It’s a message many people need to hear. Please tell us where readers can find out more about your ministry, your book, Winning Him Without Words and your other books.

Lynn:  You can visit me online at http://.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Children, Expectations, faith, Hope, Interviews, Love, marriage, Marriage problems, Receiving Christ, Trusting God, Uncategorized, unequally yoked Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

A Sacred Flow of Tears

September 10, 2019 by Leave a Comment

. . . When Our Tears Touch the Heart of God . . .

Photo by Claudia

I heard her voice cracking as she described the situation in her marriage to me over the phone. She paused briefly, cleared her throat, and resumed her story. I could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions. At the end of our conversation, I asked if I could pray with her. She agreed. As my prayer ended, she could no longer hold back the tears and began to sob uncontrollably. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” I said.  “I understand.”

And, oh yes, I did! Not only did I understand, but I knew her flow of tears was sacred in the eyes of God. Her heart was breaking in His presence so He could enter in and bring her healing.

When our lives are rocked with troubles of catastrophic proportions, many of us try not to cry, try to be strong, try to hold back the tears. But when the burning pain within us gets to the breaking point and  tears begin to flow, that’s when the real freedom can start to take hold.

For I believe it’s at those moments when God’s heart is able to reach down to ours to encompass us in His love. God welcomes our tears. In fact, He cherishes them. In Psalm 56:8 David even says God puts our tears in His bottle. “You put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in your book?” David asks.

Why are tears precious to God? Why does the Bible picture God as keeping our tears in a bottle and making note of them in His book?

A Broken Heart

Weeping is often an outward sign of what is happening inwardly. When we cry, our heart is in the midst of breaking. It’s softening. Our control of the situation is at an end. The problem is bigger than we are. Our emotions are telling us we no longer have answers.

When we allow the tears to flow, the pain ripping at our hearts opens them up to a brokenness that can then be healed by the mighty hand of God – if we will let him. Psalm 34 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tears are sacred. They are the God-given gift to us that allows Him to prepare the soil of our hearts for His healing so we can receive more of Him and more of the gifts He wants to give us.

When we are walking through the valley, trying to hold on to hope, but knowing hope is only possible by giving our situation to God, many of us struggle to let go. Letting go does not come naturally. We want to hold on and figure things out for ourselves. When we finally do, for some of us letting go and surrendering our circumstances to God may be accompanied by tears as we finally give up trying to be in charge. When our hearts break in His presence, He will sit with us in our grief. He will comfort our hearts and put them back together so they can reflect the mystery of His perfect calling for our life.

Those Who Wept in the Bible

Time and again we read about characters of the Old and New Testaments shedding tears as they prayed and wept before God in anguish over their circumstances. They were not hot angry tears, but surrendering, heartbreaking tears. And when their hearts were surrendered to the Lord, God heard and answered their prayers.

  • The faithful King Hezekiah was given 15 more years to live (Isaiah 38:1-5).
  • Nehemiah was able to go and rebuild the wall of Jerusalem (Nehemiah 1:4 – 2:6).
  • David was protected from his enemies over and over again and went on to become the most celebrated king of Israel (Psalm 6:6-10, 39:12).
  • A sinful woman was forgiven of her many sins while she wept in repentance and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears (Luke 7:44-47).
  • Paul’s anguish and heartfelt tears resulted in God’s leading him with sensitivity in his writing of his letter to the Corinthians so the people could see his love rather than be grieved by his words of correction (2 Cor. 2:4)

Songs of Joy

God heals the brokenhearted. When our tears bring us into communion with God in prayer and we allow Him to come deeper into our hearts, He can transform that pain into something new. Our hearts become fresh clay that He can mold into a more compassionate, caring, and sensitive vessel He can fill with his love and purpose.

And perhaps that’s why the Bible also says, “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them (Psalm 126:5-6).

I love this image for in it I see a picture of ourselves when we are the brokenhearted. When we come to God, tears flowing and our hearts humbled and surrendered into God’s holy hands, our tears can water the softening soil of our hearts to produce blessings that only His love within us can produce. And with His blessings of love come the songs of joy.

Don’t be afraid of tears. When your heart is breaking, let the tears wash the pain from your heart so your heart is ready to experience God’s healing balm and the fullness of His amazing love.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).

Think about this. If God’s love is using your tears to water the soil of your heart, what blessings might result from this?  What are the “sheaves” you will carry later on as you sing your songs of joy? I’d love to see your comments.

If you want to fight for your marriage, let me walk with you through the pages of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. There you will find practical help that can guide you toward reconciliation even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

 

 

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Filed Under: comfort, Grief, Jesus, joy, Letting go, Pain, Peace, Surrendering to God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs, Author Interview with Patty Mason

August 7, 2019 by 1 Comment

With depression rates climbing and listed as a leading cause of disability worldwide, author Patty Mason wants you to know that if you or someone you love is battling depression, you are not alone and there is hope. Patty knows the pain and devastation of depression, but she is no longer in that dark place. Her passion and deep-seated conviction to help others learn the truth and break the cycle, compels her to extend hope by earnestly sharing her story in her new book, Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs.

 Linda: Patty, what a joy it is to be able to hear more of your story of how you overcame depression. I think as a nation, we’re all becoming more and more aware of its seriousness. But first, tell us, what led to your depression.

Patty: Depression has a root, so the depression began years before any symptoms became visible. Because of my abusive past, a counselor or psychologist might say the depression took root in childhood. My issues with anger certainly took root then. But from my perspective, the depression took root at age eighteen, when I started to leave the past behind and search for the things I thought would fill me and make me happy.

Linda: Hmmm. I’m intrigued. How would a search for fulfillment lead to depression? 

Patty: Many things can cause depression: hormonal imbalance, a chemical inconsistency in the brain, life-altering events, such as the loss of a loved one or chronic illness, even bitterness and unforgiveness can lead to depression. It may seem odd to say a quest for fulfillment contributed to my depression, but to see that it’s possible all we have to do is watch the news to learn of another outwardly successful life that was cut short.

Linda: If the depression took root at eighteen, when did the symptoms appear? When did you know you were depressed?

Patty: At age thirty-five I was at the peak of life. I had a husband who loved me, three beautiful healthy children, a nice home, and a successful career, yet I was miserable. Even though I had everything I longed for and set out to find from the time I was eighteen, once I received it, it didn’t measure up—it couldn’t. All my hopes, dreams, and expectations left me empty.

The day I realized I was depressed, I was standing on stage in Dallas, Texas, before thousands, being recognized for one of the highest levels of achievement in the company. In that moment, I found myself thinking: Is this all there is? Is this what I shipped my children off to a babysitter for? Is this why I did the changing of the guard with my husband? In the middle of what should have been a magnificent moment, my soul began its plummet from this momentary high, to miserable depths of confusion. From that day on my life spiraled down a deep, dark tunnel.

Linda: When you realized you were depressed, what did you do? How did you deal with the depression?  

Patty: At first I hid my feelings and tried to fix myself. I did everything I could think of to get better. Nothing worked. I turned to alcohol for comfort and to cope. Plus, the alcohol made me sleepy, so this provided another form of escape. When I realized I couldn’t help myself, I turned to family and friends. Afraid of what others would think, this was difficult. How would they react when I told them about my extreme sadness, bouts of rage, and turning to alcohol? Would they judge me, criticize my feelings, or condemn my actions?

Since I hid everything prior to this point, when I finally started to talk about it, to my surprise no one judged, criticized, or condemned. Instead they didn’t believe me. Even my sweet husband didn’t get it. Every day I tried to tell him something was wrong. And every time he said, “Oh, you’ll get over it.”

Linda: How did the depression and your husband’s unwillingness to listen effect your marriage?

Patty: His response made me feel even more isolated and hopeless. What I needed from my husband was compassion. I needed an active listener with whom I could be open and transparent, someone to really hear what I was going through and try to comfort me. This is one of the reasons why I added a special section in the book for caregivers, along with practical tips on how to handle someone with depression. Depression is hard on everyone. If you don’t know what to do or how to help your loved one, you can make the depression worse.

Linda: Did you ever seek professional help? Did you take medication?  

Patty: I did seek professional help, believing that if I could just get a pill I’d be fine. I called several doctors, but I would get responses like, “I’m sorry, we don’t handle that kind of depression.” Or, “I’m sorry we don’t take your insurance.” Since I couldn’t find a doctor to help me, I never went on medication.

Linda: What did you do when you couldn’t find help?

Patty: Not being able to help myself or find help from family, friends, or doctors, I felt so alone that I began to have thoughts of suicide. I actually convinced myself my family would be better off without me.

Linda: Oh no, and your husband didn’t see the signs that you felt this way?

 Patty: No, he continued to believe I’d be fine. I knew my husband loved me, but he didn’t understand what I was going through. That’s the thing, if you’ve never experienced depression, you don’t understand the deep despair, or the irrational way the mind thinks.

Linda: How did you find healing? What happened?

 Patty: In desperation I cried out to God. But I didn’t ask for healing, I asked for Him to take my life. I was suicidal, so I was still thinking death was the only way out. For months I prayed that way, but the turning point came when I felt as though I had been ground into the ashes from which I came.

One morning as I stood sobbing in the shower, I knew I had come to the end of myself. Instead of begging God to take my life, however, I cried out to God for His help. It was a simple prayer. I acknowledged that only He could help me, and then asked Him to help me. Through my sobs I heard a faint voice say, “Go to MOPS.” I didn’t want to go. I had been avoiding the meetings because of my depression, but I went as an act of obedience.

At the meeting the speaker, a soft-spoken, warm, and gentle older woman, grabbed my attention when she began to speak about what it’s like to have a lack of joy and no real purpose in life. I was intrigued and began hanging on every word as she talked about finding joy in Christ. At the end of her talk, I responded to her invitation to pick up some literature and ended up pouring out my heart to her. Even though she was a stranger I could feel the love of God reaching out from her to me. I wanted whatever she had to give me. I wanted to get rid of the pain.

After listening for several minutes, she touched me on the arm, and immediately the heaviness lifted from my spirit. I felt a freedom I’d never known before. As I turned to walk away I knew God had healed me.

Linda: This is an amazing story! But I want to back up a minute. You said earlier depression has a root. How important is it for us to understand where that root came from, and how do we get to that root?  

Patty: We will not move forward until we understand the origin of the depression, anger, fear, insecurity, whatever emotional pain is keeping us bound.

Start by asking God to show you why you are feeling the way you are, and where it started? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself and God some difficult questions. Once the root is exposed, ask God to get it out. I talk about this in the book and the process we need to go through. It’s not easy. We will need to cooperate and work with God through the process; but, in the end, it is worth it! This is also why I talk about depression from a biblical perspective, its causes and its cures. We need to understand that not all depression is clinical or mental illness.

Linda: What is the one message you want people to take away from your book? 

Patty: You are not alone and there is HOPE! Many mighty men and women of God—who knew God and walked with him—also knew what it was like to fall into a pit of despair and hopelessness. The good news: God didn’t leave them there. He cared for them, gave them what they needed, brought good out of their circumstances, gave them a new perspective, and delivered them.

Linda: Where can readers find a copy of Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs, or learn more about you or your ministry?

Patty: Visit our website at www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com.  You can also ask for Finally Free at your favorite bookstore, or order it online. If you’d like a signed copy, we are offering a discount through our website.

 

 

 

 

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