Shining Like Silver and Gold

November 23, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Inspiring Others in The Midst of Covid

The pressure of crisis –whatever the cause—can be overwhelming. Whether it’s from Covid, a marriage crisis, or the devastation of our finances, crisis can push us beyond the limits of our understanding until we have nothing else within us to keep on going.

At this point, when we are devoid of strength in ourselves, instead of sinking lower and lower into hopelessness, depression, or substance abuse, God calls us to look up and sink into the arms of Jesus.

In the arms of Jesus, not only does He comfort us with his peace, but He gathers together the substance of our life and molds it into something new and beautiful. The pressure of crisis, when God becomes our refuge and we allow Him to show us the way, refines us into silver and gold so we can shine for His glory. We become the beautiful instruments of His grace, mercy, and love to those around us.

1 Peter 1:6b -7 reminds us of this. “Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (1 Peter 1:7 NIV).

An Inspiring Story from the Covid Ward

Recently, I’ve witnessed a person who is shining like gold as she looks past the crisis enveloping her life and fixes her eyes on Jesus, not just to save herself, not just to find peace and comfort, but to use the circumstances of her crisis to shine like gold.

I’m talking about my friend and author, Elaine W. Miller, who right now lies in a Covid ward in the hospital, fighting to breathe. She is fighting for her life, but also blessing everyone who comes in contact with her words.

Her own words on Facebook tell the story.

“Covid pneumonia,” She said in her first post. “We’re off on another adventure. Me and Jesus! He holds me tight and won’t let go.”

A couple of days later:

“Nurse took the stethoscope and said, “Let’s hear what’s happening in your heart.” I said, “Jesus is happening in my heart! Hallelujah!” Started Remdesivir today! Yay! Happy Sunday!”

A message to her praying Facebook friends:

“Blessed in isolation. I can sing out and cry out to God late at night and not disturb anyone. I think of Jesus at Gethsemane crying out, Why have you forsaken me God? I feel loved by God, not forsaken. Jesus was sad that his best friends were asleep and not praying. I don’t feel like Jesus. You have covered me with a mighty army of prayers by day and by night. I am so thankful for you. I am having good sleep, good time with God, and I have no pain. #Thankfulforyou #CovidBootcamp Dr. is optimistic that I will survive this.”

A nurse’s perspective as Elaine began to get her breath:

“’When you came to ICU you couldn’t say 2 words without losing your breath. Today I walk in your room and you are singing!’ – my nurse.”

The beauty of gold:

“Covid has restored my hope in America. My doctors are putting out the big guns. I am on an infusion marathon to fight Covid. Last night that bag and more dripped into my veins. I stared at it all night and couldn’t stop crying. You see that bag is some amazing person’s convalescent plasma. They survived Covid and gave their plasma, time, money, love so some old woman they don’t even know could have a few more years to live. That’s my America! Where people die to their selfishness so others can live. Where people think of others more than they think of themselves. That’s my America! I am so sick of the protests, looting, destroying, anger, hate, selfishness, lies. Someone gave their blood so I might have a chance to live. Just like Jesus. I am so grateful for these dear health workers here who risk their lives so people can live. I am blessed and glad God gave me hope for America in a Covid hospital.”

Finally, in the midst of her crisis with Covid, my friend Elaine looks beyond her circumstances to focus on others:

“Day 17 isolation. Why am I here? Ha! For the same reason you are there. To glorify God. To bring light and hope to a dark and hopeless world. When cancer came to me five years ago, I determined to see my cancer as an opportunity to bless people and not as an obstacle or reason for complaint. So, as I rest on my Covid bed, I am overwhelmed with love and prayers and compassion for Caregivers. My eyes are opened to their true suffering. Folks, you have no idea the exhaustion, the tears, the sacrifice, the dance with death they do daily. They risk their lives so I can live. So, when some call Covid a hoax or complain about wearing a face mask, I know a lot of people who are crushed by your words. But they plow on. Keep quiet. Serve. I determined to pray a blessing on every person who enters my Covid room. What a blessing to me. Not one person has stopped me. I pray as some leave. Everyone has stopped to hear my prayers. They all say thank you. Many in tears. Some come back to me, hold me, touch me (not recommended in Covidland) and pray with me. We cry and we trust Jesus. “But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you My power and that My Name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Exodus 9:16.”

An Inspiration for You and Me

So, yes, when the pressure of crisis threatens to pull us down, we can choose the abundant life Jesus wants to give us or the barren wasteland without Him. When we submit ourselves to Jesus, He can use us to shine forth like the preciousness of silver and gold.

Please join me in praying for Elaine’s healing and for all of us to be able to shine for Jesus.

Check out Elaine’s books on Amazon. Elaine W. Miller is the author of three books:

We All Married Idiots: Three things You Will Never Change about Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can,  

Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo: A Hopeful Response to a Hard Reality, and

Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms

 

Elaine and me at a writer’s conference

Share
Filed Under: cancer, Covid, faith, Fear, Finances, Grief, health, health issues, Hope, Jesus, Pain, Peace, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God?, Worry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Surviving Sorrow: A Mother’s Guide to Living with Loss: An Interview with Author Kim Erickson

November 11, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Losing a child may be one of the most intensely painful experiences a person can endure. No one should have to bury their own child. Sadly, for those parents who do experience this, the sorrow can last for many years. In her book, Surviving Sorrow: A Mother’s Guide to Living with Loss, author Kim Erickson gives parents a lifeline to hope as she shares her own story of the loss of her three-year-old son and the path to surviving the sorrow of a lifetime and learning to live again.

Linda: Please tell us why you wrote Surviving Sorrow.

Kim: In April 2008, I was just cruising through my life, thinking that I had everything I needed. I had a great job, a husband I was crazy about, and two beautiful young boys. Austin was 3 and Ethan was 15 months. I did not, however, have everything I needed.

I did not have God in my life. I did not have a relationship with Jesus. When I got the call that the ambulance was at our house for Austin, who had been sick for a few days with strep throat, I didn’t even think to pray. I got the call that is every parent’s nightmare and my mind didn’t even consider God – that’s how far away from God I was back in April 2008.

While I was far from God in my mind and heart, God was not far from me. He did something miraculous that day. No, He didn’t heal Austin. He took Austin to heaven, but God did allow me a moment to truly feel His presence, to fully understand that He is real, and know that Heaven is waiting. In that single moment as Austin left this earth for heaven, God changed me. He grabbed my heart and filled it with peace, hope, love, and joy. I hung my humbled head and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior just two days later.

Surviving Sorrow is my offer of sacrifice to God for His never-ending lovingkindness for us, for the world. It is my deepest desire to help others experience God in the middle of their deepest sorrow, like I did. I’m praying Surviving Sorrow helps them draw close to God in their darkest hour.  

Linda: Who would benefit from this book?

Kim: Although I wrote this book for mothers who’ve lost a child, I’m finding out that others are benefiting from Surviving Sorrow. Many times, friends are picking up this book to help them understand how to help someone who has lost a child. They are reading it first, then giving it to a mom who has lost a child. Also, people with other losses (like husbands, nieces, cousins, friends, etc.) have been telling me that Surviving Sorrow helped them draw closer to God through a difficult loss of someone they loved. It’s really humbling to see God use this book in so many different ways.

Linda: There are lots of books about grief and the grieving process. How is Surviving Sorrow different?

Kim: There are a lot of fantastic books about grief and grieving the loss of a child, and I have read many of them. I like to say that Surviving Sorrow is not a book about grieving. It’s a book about living. The focus is not on the grieving process, but rather on how to pick yourself up off the floor and try your best to carry on with life. When our son died, I needed some help with the practical aspects of living without our son. What do I say when a stranger asks how many kids I have? How do I get through the grocery store without a meltdown? What do I do with my child’s things? How will I make it through the holidays? Help!

So, each chapter deals with an issue that comes up while you live with your loss. There are practical ideas listed for each segment. There are “Survival Steps” (how do I keep living?) and “Spiritual Steps” (how do I relate to God now?) for each chapter.

Linda: We’ve heard that it is difficult for a marriage to survive the loss of a child – even that most marriages don’t make it through such a tragedy. Is that true?

Kim: I’m so glad you asked this question! It’s NOT true. In fact, the divorce rate among couples who’ve suffered the loss of a child is lower than the national average. People think it (and often say it out loud!), but it’s simply not true. That being said, it’s definitely not easy on your marriage to go through something like child loss. Like a lot of things you encounter as a couple, the stress of grieving can cause interactions with your spouse to be magnified in some way. What didn’t bother you before, might bother you now and vice versa. Emotions are running on high, so marriages can be strained. But, there is no need to give in to a hopeless feeling. Now is the time to fight for your marriage!

Linda: What do you think is the most important thing for couples to keep in mind as they navigate their marriage through a tragedy or difficult season?

Kim: Treat each other gently. I think it’s really important to remember that you both are experiencing this difficult thing. No matter if the difficulty relates more to one of you than the other. As a married couple, if something is tragic in one of your lives, both of you are experiencing it. If the tough circumstance involves your child or children, then it’s double the trouble because you both are so close to the problem and you likely can’t see straight. You must step back from yourself and remember that your spouse is hurting, too. It bears repeating: treat each other gently.

Linda: What advice do you have for readers who may not be suffering through child loss, but are facing a different kind of tragedy within their family?

Kim: Try to give each other space. Space to let out emotions. Space to just “be.” Be compassionate about how the other people in your family need to process this difficult season. We all handle things differently, and we need to be able to respect that about our loved ones. Allow your spouse or your loved ones the time to do some individual processing. You’ll be surprised to see how much better you will all do together if you each get some time to express yourself in whatever way is best for each person.

Linda: The tagline for Heart Talk is “Finding Hope in Unexpected Places.” Have you and your husband been able to find hope in the unexpected place of grieving a child?

Kim: Believe it or not, yes! The only way, however, is with God’s help. It’s still overwhelming to me how much the Almighty God is willing to hold, sit next to, take a temper tantrum, or wipe my tears. If you lean into Him, He will wrap you in His arms and comfort you. My hope in the unexpected place of grieving a child is in an eternity that has no more death, no more pain, no more tears.

Linda: Your ministry focus is helping women find outrageous joy through a deeper relationship with God. Can you explain what that means to you?

Kim: I spent most of my life rejecting the idea that Jesus Christ was my Savior and Lord. I had a good life by the world’s standards, but I didn’t have the inner peace and amazing joy I have now. A relationship with Jesus is the answer to whatever you are seeking. The result of a relationship with Jesus is outrageous joy, no matter what happens in your life.

Linda: How can people find your book and connect with you?

Kim: I’d love to connect on Facebook (Kim Erickson, Author) or Instagram (@kimerickson8). They can find more information and free resources on my website: www.kimAerickson.com. Surviving Sorrow can be found on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or Moody Publishers. I look forward to meeting some of your readers!

Share
Filed Under: Children, comfort, Death, faith, Grief, Interviews, Letting go, loss, Marriage problems, Peace, Problems, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Learning about the Power of Praise – Again

September 15, 2020 by 4 Comments

Photo by Debby Ledet

During this pandemic one of the strange advantages my husband and I have discovered in having to watch online church is that sometimes we can watch more than one service from different churches on the same Sunday morning. And sometimes it’s amazing how God uses different services at two separate churches to hammer home a message He has for us.

Our hearts were crushed over some difficult circumstances we were experiencing because of the heartache thrust upon someone we loved. We knew God was in charge, but we couldn’t see Him working. The circumstances looked bleak. The breakthrough we’d been praying for just wasn’t happening.

As we connected to our online church that morning, our hearts were heavy. When the service at the first church was over, we connected to the second church that started fifteen minutes later than the first. We were just in time to hear the beginning of the sermon. Both of the messages that morning spoke of God’s love for us and our praise back to Him in response. Both services incorporated singing in the midst of the sermon message—a rather unusual approach for each. The first message spoke about our communication with God being a two way conversation. The second was specifically about praising God in song.

Two Churches – Same Message – Same Song

I was still struggling in my mind with the problem at hand during the second church service, when the soft refrains of a song that had already been sung at the first church we listened to began in this totally separate church.

“I love you, Lord, and I lift my voice . . . .“

This was not a currently popular song we would expect to hear in 2020, but an older song that had been a meaningful one to me personally for a number of years. For two different churches to use it on the same Sunday morning in our hearing during this painful time seemed one of those strange coincidences orchestrated by a loving God, and it touched me deeply. As the words of the song penetrated my heart, my eyes filled with tears.  I felt God moving.

Even though we were not at a physical church, but sitting in front of my computer, my husband and I began to sing.

“. . . to worship you, oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy, my king, in what you hear. May it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear.”

God was speaking to us. He was getting my attention. I saw that God wanted to soften our hearts so we could experience his presence and joy in the midst of our pain. He wanted us to trust Him.

And so God was teaching us – again—about praise, about the power that comes when we lift our hearts in praise even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Remembering  Another Time

As I lifted my voice to God, I remembered a time many years before when the church we were attending began with a praise service so powerful and beautiful that it bled into the sermon time. Because God’s Spirit was moving so powerfully throughout the congregation and many people were visibly responding, the pastor actually skipped his sermon so the praise could continue.  I’ve never seen this happen before or afterwards at any church.

But I was one of the ones so strongly affected.  My husband and I had just begun to reconcile our marriage after our three year separation, and my heart was still filled with pain. During that praise service, the tears erupted in my eyes as I felt God’s perfect love washing away the imperfect experience of love that had held me hostage for those three years. As the music, the praise, and the words of adoration peeled through the sanctuary, healing flowed through my veins and into my spirit. The words of praise reached down into the very caverns of my soul where the pain had become so imbedded, and flowed into the crusty places of my heart.  As I continued to quietly weep, I felt God’s love flooding through me, replacing the residue of broken promises and abandonment that had caused such pain. It was like standing beneath a waterfall where God’s cleansing flood of love washed through me again and again to lift my heart to Him so I could release the pain through my tears.  It was during that praise service when God’s Holy Spirit washed through my spirit and cleansed away the pain of our separation.

God is Still Working

So this morning, as we struggled with a new sorrow, God was again reminding me of His omnipotence. He was pulling me out of my melancholy and lifting my eyes and heart to Him. He wanted my husband and me to remember He was still in control. He was still working – even as the next song, “Waymaker” began to ring through the airways.

“You never stop. You never stop working.”

No, He never does. He never stops working. He’s always working out His perfect plan in His creation even when we can’t see it and in our lives when we put our trust in Him and bring Him into our circumstances.

Lifting our hearts in praise to God sheds the debris of doubt and disappointment to remind us that Jesus didn’t promise to keep us out of trouble. In fact, he said, “We will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Yes, He is the Overcomer. He is the One who can bring “beauty from ashes and the oil of joy in place of mourning” (Isaiah 61:3).

The power of praise is a mystery, transcending our own understanding to inject God’s power into the circumstances of our lives so He can heal our hearts, remind us of His sovereignty, and transform our lives into new reflections of His holiness.

Listen here to I Love You Lord by Maranatha

If your heart is breaking because of a troublesome marriage, you don’t have to walk this journey alone. Let my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, be a friend to you.

Share
Filed Under: Fear, Grief, Hope, How to win, Letting go, Pain, Praise, Problems, spiritual warfare, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Surviving the Trial of Our Lives

July 2, 2020 by 2 Comments

God Sometimes Uses His Mysterious Ways to Bring a Marriage Together

Guest Post By Janet Holm McHenry

Photo by Josh Applegate

Every once in a while someone will ask, “What’s been your toughest trial?”

It all comes back quickly. Craig and I were sitting on a bench outside the courtroom when the jury started walking toward us to head back in after deliberations.

The disgusted, even angry looks on their faces as they saw us made me instantly ill.

Minutes later came the verdicts. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

A rancher, my husband was convicted of six felony counts of animal abuse relating to the deaths of six young calves that had wandered during a two-day blizzard in the Sierras in the winter of 2001.

We had thought the two-week trial was simply something we’d have to live through. However, from the get-go the judge seemed to have it out for my husband. He harassed every defense witness—even two cattle veterinarians and me.

When I was trying to testify that Craig brought newborn calves into our home to warm them during winter weather, the judge interrupted me: “Who are you, Virginia Woolf, that you go on and on?”

He also stopped evidence from being admitted, including auction records that showed my husband got top dollar for his animals.

The worst was when the judge would not allow our chief witness to testify—a UC Davis veterinary school professor considered the top beef expert west of the Rockies. He would have testified at trial that of the two animals necropsied, one had twenty pounds of feed in its stomach and the other, a high level of colostrum.

And so my husband was convicted, and we had to wait two months before the sentencing.  The wait was not easy for me. My heart would not stop racing, and I had to go on anti-depressants. I quit working my job as a high school English teacher several weeks before graduation.

I could not go out in public. The trial jury of our peers in our county of three thousand had slapped us in the face. One jury member was the business manager of our small school district. Another was a woman who had subbed for me in my classroom. And the jury foreman was the son of a woman with whom I had prayerwalked. I had walked and prayed for those people and my town. I could not face people.

I wasn’t so happy with my husband either. For years I had prayed for our marriage. We’d struggled so much that when Craig had a law office a decade earlier, I typed up my own petition for dissolution of marriage when I worked for him—just to see what it would look like. It didn’t look good, so I gutted it out. And while the convictions brought out a lot of the blame game on my part, I did my best to support him nonetheless.

On the day of the sentencing, we filled the courtroom with family and friends, including six pastors. The judge, seemingly alarmed with such support for Craig, gave him two years of probation and a fine that was the equivalent of a year of income for us. In the shadow that was our lives that was a bit of hopeful light.

After the sentencing hearing a large group of women surrounded me, and Craig’s friends surrounded him. I was stunned at people’s reactions.

One friend said, “I was so impressed with Craig’s faith—the quiet peace on his face.”

Another said, “He is a living testimony to the power of God!”

My mother said, “Craig could run for mayor and win!”

As they were speaking, I looked over at my husband, seemingly glowing with a calm and presence I’d never seen before. He truly was a testimony to the power of God, and a sense of love for him I’d never known before came over me.

Right then I knew that while we had just experienced the hell-on-earth trial of our lives, God had answered my prayers for my marriage through that awful experience.

For more than a year Craig and I worked together to write the appeal that he filed with the California Court of Appeals in Sacramento—documenting from the court transcript the more than two hundred prejudicial statements and actions from the judge.  And about two years after the original trial, the appeals court overturned the convictions.

When I told our story at a conference last year, an appeals attorney told me afterwards that in his career he’d only won one case—that’s how rare that happens.

Since that time God has blessed us with the best years of our married life. Craig has become outspoken about his faith, and I love him more than ever, proving the truth of my favorite verse, “Nothing is impossible with God” (Matthew 19:26).

 

Janet McHenry is a national speaker and the author of 24 books—six of those on prayer, including the bestselling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, in which she writes more about how Jesus’s prayers can help people through seemingly hopeless seasons. More information on her speaking and books can be found on her website: https://www.janetmchenry.com.

              

 

Share
Filed Under: Danger, disappointment, faith, Fear, Finances, Grief, Marriage problems, Prayer, Problems, stress, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Anticipatory Grief: The Journey of a Thousand Losses and Endless Grace – Author Interview with Tracy K. Pratt

June 18, 2020 by Leave a Comment

When you know loss is coming, when does grief begin? Afterwards? Or before? And how do you work through it? Tracy K. Pratt’s book, Anticipatory Grief: The Journey of a Thousand Losses and Endless Grace, is a book I have looked forward to sharing on Heart Talk before the writing was even finished. At a writer’s critique group Tracy and I both belong to, Tracy brought one of the chapters of this book to be critiqued when she was still in the process of writing it. The response from a woman in the group who had been battling cancer for years was so  poignant and dramatic, the rest of us ended up in tears. The woman with cancer urged Tracy about the need to have it published. Now it has. This is a book for those who are facing grief but don’t know what to do with it. The writing is beautiful, poetic, and soul warming. I’ll let Tracy describe the book herself –in a way only she can do—in the interview that follows.

Linda: What motivated you to write Anticipatory Grief?

Tracy: I wanted to answer this question: What would I have picked up, read, and found to be good news when our daughter Hannah was growing up?

Grief shadowed my husband, Coleman, and me from the moment Hannah was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF) at 5 weeks old in March, 1982. At that time, the life expectancy was 12 years. Her rough start indicated we would outlive her. Coleman would want to voice his sorrow. As her primary caregiver who fought the disease daily, I could not face that probability. I fought for my dreams that one day she would know the deep love of a man like I did, that she and I would be good friends in my old age.

In March 2007, six months after Hannah’s death, Coleman and I listened to a video in Grief Share. The speaker said as a side note that whenever a loved one is diagnosed with cancer or any life terminating disease, we anticipate their death.

We grieve. Immediately. And continually.

In less than 10 seconds, the speaker gave an identity to the emotions, stress, uncertainty and cloud of sadness we experienced from the moment of her diagnosis to her death. Our “normal” life with CF, which included progressive losses over her lifetime, was real. The speaker’s words lifted the years of unspoken heaviness. Relief overwhelmed us. We exchanged smiles and joined hands.

I want to give that relief to others and lead them to what they may not know. They grieve before loss. It is not a sin but a gift.

Linda: Do you think you achieved your goal? Would you have read this book when Hannah was 12?

Tracy: Yes. Within its pages, my younger self would have found an honest fellow-pilgrim, who did not provide formulas or try to sugar-coat the journey. Instead, she would have found a woman with a voice rich with compassion who knew a hope that does not disappoint in unfixable circumstances.

I would have found the book approachable because of its format. Chapters are easy to read with natural breaks between sections to pause and process the content. The metaphor of autumn pictures well how beauty and goodness bloom in our painful, and unavoidable circumstance.  The use of “I” and “us” sets a conversational tone between the reader and author.

Linda:  What role do you play in the mental and spiritual health of someone in anticipatory grief?

Tracy: I accompany others in their journey as a fellow-pilgrim who has traveled through the autumn of loss more than once and no doubt will again.  My greatest contribution to a traveler’s anticipatory grief is to remember what my younger self needed.  That focus equips me to encourage and assist women so they can live in that tension with healthy habits and hope.

Linda: People have varied opinions about grief’s importance in our lives. What is yours?

Tracy: I believe grief is a gift from God. Unwanted? Yes. Uninvited? Definitely.

But, trustworthy.

I believe the ultimate purpose of grief is to lead us to greater intimacy with Him—greater than what Adam and Eve knew in the Garden of Eden. The core cause of all sorrow is our separation from Him. His greatest grief is our natural bent to choose our own way which began when Adam and Eve doubted God’s goodness.

God is is not distant nor unaware of grief. In Chapter 3 of the book we travel through the Bible beginning in Genesis and see God experienced personal grief. We see in the Gospels Jesus grieved at Lazarus’s tomb, in the Garden of Gethsemane, and most importantly on the cross. There Isaiah’s prophecy (Isaiah 53:6) was realized. God laid on Jesus the sin of us all. I believe in that moment when He cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”, Jesus knew the full weight of our deepest grief.  Our separation from Him.

That is why I believe grief’s greatest and good purpose is to lead us to God who does not judge us for grieving our treasures. Our broken hearts cry Jesus’ words in our pain. God does not forsake us. In our anguish, He draws near. Sometimes he pulls us to Himself and whispers, “I know.” Other times He stands silent waiting for us to trust Him.

Grief wakens the soul to our true existence. We read in Genesis 1:26-27 that God shaped us in His image. Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes 3:11 that God placed eternity in the hearts of humans. We are designed for an eternal relationship with Him above other treasures. Grief before and after loss opens the soul to the naked reality that what we hold dear in this world does not satisfy the undying longing in the soul. He does.

Linda:  What specifically do you mean by “treasure”?

Tracy: A treasure is anything or anyone we hold tightly in the heart.

We lose things we love. A job. A house. Cancer, cf, Alzeimer’s and other diseases steal the bloom of our health, or of a child, a spouse, or parent.

Dreams shatter. Mine did as Hannah’s mother. Other circumstances such as drug or alcohol addiction crush a parent’s dream. A woman lies in bed alone, her heart broken. Her husband wants a divorce. A college quarterback headed for the draft suffers an injury that jeapordizes his promising career. The perpetual single aches for that one true love.

Seasons end. Parents leave their last child at college for their freshman year.

We should treasure things and people. They are gifts from God. But, they die. And we grieve, as we should. Death should not be.

Linda:  Why do you use autumn as a metaphor for anticipatory grief?

Tracy: In autumn, the mountainside’s dress of summer green fades. Deep scarlet, golden yellow, and burnt orange blossom. How ironic. We flock to see leaves die, yet not once does that reality cross our minds. We are in awe of the beauty that blooms.

The earth shifts its face away from the sun. Sap slows. The leaf slowly starves. Its true color erupts. This pictures the dramatic spiritual transformation that God does in us when winter threatens our treasures. We can be assured as the relentless chill whips about our treasure that the seed of trust burrowed in the soil of His promises will take root come spring.

Linda:  How are you a fellow-pilgrim to other women in their anticipatory grief?

Tracy: Imagine a weekend retreat in mid-October at a lodge in the mountains.

Now envision a place online that refreshes and renews a woman in the autumn of loss with that kind of respite. This is the purpose of my website. It’s tagline is “Beauty blooms in our broken places.”

My blog, Artful Soul Care, on the website, offers restoration like curling up in an overstuffed chair with hands wrapped around a hot mug of cider or cocoa, or on a hike tramping through fallen leaves on the mountain. This is a place to engage with creativity, to receive practical guidance, and to gain spiritual direction so that a woman’s soul is not overwhelmed by the day to day tension of anticipatory grief.

Paper Plate Studio, also on the website, provides visual refreshment. Photographs, paintings, posters, and cards are available for purchase. They celebrate God’s good eternal story, His hope, beauty,  and goodness we discover in the insignifcant, broken, and sorrowful places of our lives.

Artful Soul Care on Facebook is a private group that opens Wednesday, July 1. That day, and the following three Wednesdays at 7 pm, I will be doing four part session “Four Habits for the Journey.” Reading the book is not necessary nor is being in anticipatory grief to join the group. We all have traveled or will travel the autumn of loss in big and small life-changing ways. And, we have, or will have friends who live in the season. Joining provides community, encouragement, practical helps for the journey and keeps God’s eagle perspective in sight while traveling.

Linda: Where can people purchase your book, Anticipatory Grief?

Tracy: Anticipatory Grief: The Journey of a Thousand Losses and Endless Grace can be found on Tracy’s website and on Amazon,

 

 

 

Share
Filed Under: BOOKS, comfort, faith, Grief, health, health issues, Hope, Interviews, Jesus, loss, Pain, Peace, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Sifting Our Hearts in Times of Turmoil

June 10, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Aaron Burden

When troubling times come to our nation, I can’t help wondering what God is doing. In these situations, my mind often drifts to some thought-provoking words in the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.” The words were penned during the Civil War by Julia Ward Howe who was an abolitionist. Stanza 4 declares:  “He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat. Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

As I look at what has been happening in our country during the last couple of weeks – the angst and pain, the mayhem and anger, I hear those words in my head “He is sifting out the hearts of men . . . .” and I wonder.

Is that what God is doing? Is He sifting our hearts? And are we listening? Are we listening to what God is saying to us during these times?

What is God Saying to Us?

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”  And Proverbs 21:2 pushes the point even further by convicting us of our own stubbornness. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

It’s the human condition. We are fallen creatures. And unfortunately we often seem to need a time of tribulation for God to get our attention. We see this stated again and again throughout scripture. Proverbs 17:3 compares the testing of our hearts to the refining of gold and silver. “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold. But the Lord tests the heart.”

We have been in the refining pot of late. We may even feel like we’ve been in the furnace. First, during this pandemic, and now in the frightful aftermath of the injustice witnessed in the cruel death of an innocent man.

And I believe God is getting our attention.

In the shock and dismay I see around this land, I see walls crumbling – people who have stood on different sides of the divide – suddenly expressing a new understanding. Hearts are opening in the midst of God’s refining fire. And perhaps this is what God wants to do with us as a people—to sift out the hearts of men before his judgment seat so we can see one another through His eyes. For I believe before the wrongs of our society can be changed, our hearts must change first.

A Demonstration of God’s Healing Love

At Faith Assembly of God in Orlando last Sunday morning, I witnessed a beautiful example of what we as Christians can do to come together with those of other races.

Toward the end of the service, Pastor Carl Stephens (who is white) called a young black man to the stage, who told his story of growing up in a small Georgia town, where he was snubbed and subjected to a steady diet of racial slurs, indignities, and shame throughout his young life. Although he was initially taught to hate those who hated him, some white people who looked past his color to value him as a person opened his heart to another way. One of these was a police officer. But the true answer for racial harmony, he said, lies in hearts being changed by Jesus Christ.

His story was sobering, but what followed touched me more deeply than I can describe.

Pastor Stephens lead him to a chair, knelt, and took a basin of water with which he washed the young black man’s feet. As he did so he spoke about Jesus’ love and Jesus’ example to us of how to serve one another with humility and love.  During those few moments, I know many tears were shed throughout the congregation as we watched this beautiful demonstration of the love of Jesus. It was a time of humility and healing.

The healing that occurred in this church where there is an even mix of races—black, white and Hispanic—was a powerful expression of what we as Christians can do when we allow God’s Word to penetrate our hearts.

Somehow this hit me more acutely than ever before in a way that humbled me as a white woman. I saw the pain and fear that many black people must endure in their daily life. And I couldn’t help thinking: perhaps this is the answer—Christians of all colors and races coming together in the humility of washing each other’s feet.

We are called as Christians to love one another, to serve one another, to have compassion for one another, Colossians 3:12 says, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.”

Correcting the injustices and ills of our society needs to begin with changing the hearts of its people, and the greatest changer of hearts is Jesus Christ. If each of us searches our own hearts, if we allow the love of Jesus to sift through any insensitivities or wrong thinking we have clung to, perhaps we will begin to see the healing of our nation.

“Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

 

You can read more about the origins of The Battle Hymn of the Republic here.

Read the story of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet here: John 13:1-17

 

Share
Filed Under: Conflict, Danger, Fear, forgiveness, Grief, Hope, Jesus, national concerns, New Directions, Peace, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Thirteen Things We May Have Learned In Quarantine

May 19, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Umit Bulut

Now that parts of the country are beginning to open up again, and before we move too fast to getting back to “normal,” perhaps it would be good to reflect on what we’ve learned during this time of quarantine.

Only few times in history has the entire world suffered through the same experience at the same time, but 2020 will long be remembered as a time when we all knew the fear and anxiety of a worldwide pandemic that arbitrarily claims lives. It will also be remembered as a time when we all were cloistered within our homes with few interactions with those outside our immediate family.

As tragic as this situation has been for many, I believe in every situation—good or bad, we have an opportunity to learn something that will grow us into stronger and better individuals.

So what have we learned during this quarantine?

  1. One of the happiest sights I’ve seen during this time of isolation are families strolling through the neighborhood, talking and laughing together. Moms and Dads and their kids are spending time with each other in large chunks of both quantity and quality time. It’s been an opportunity to get to know and enjoy the individuals living in our own house. Without the outside interference, the nuclear family is sharing new experiences together. Perhaps this time of quarantine has even created unique and special memories for our children.
  2. And how about the joy of spending time outside! With gyms closed, we’re learning to enjoy nature by running, walking, and biking instead of going to the gym. While in quarantine, I’ve been reading a book about having a healthier brain. In this book, author Timothy R. Jennings, M.D. sites studies, showing that spending time in nature provides multiple healthy benefits. Beyond that though, these studies also show that “exercise conducted outdoors rather than indoors appears to have a more robust heath benefit.” He goes on to cite research that shows how physical exercise conducted outdoors instead of indoors results in lower rates of depression, improvement in self-esteem and mood, as well as benefits in such things as heart rate, blood pressure, autonomic response and endocrine markers. Something to remember when gyms open up again and life resumes its usual pace.
  3. Learning to appreciate the luxury of going to the grocery store and finding anything we want on the shelves. Not every country has this luxury. Here in the U.S. we are so blessed as a nation in simply being able to go to the store, knowing we can find whatever we’re in the mood for. Having now gone through a time when many shelves were bare during the quarantine, let’s remember this lesson when we return to normal and be thankful for the many advantages we have in this country instead of dwelling on what we don’t have.
  4. Learning to appreciate our jobs and getting a paycheck. We might complain about them at times, but when they’re taken away from us, we realize how fortunate we truly are. We may not be as rich as some of our friends or someone we see on TV, but by having a job, we are able to support ourselves and our family.
  5. Since neighbors are the only people we really get to see, we are getting a chance to know them a little better – even if it’s only a social-distancing safe encounter. Continuing to foster these friendships with neighbors when the quarantine is over can strengthen our sense of community.
  6. Appreciating technology. This is a big one for me because I often complain about it. However, without the amazing advances of technology we would have no way to communicate with the outside world during this time of isolation. How thankful I am for it now so we are not completely shut off from friends and family who live apart from us.
  7. However, we are also learning that communicating through technology is not as satisfying as communicating with people in person. We have particularly found that online learning is not as successful as learning in the classroom. Seeing how many students struggle with classes, time management, and staying focused with distance learning, we realize more than ever the significance of a teacher’s role in a child’s learning experience. Having a real live, present teacher to interact with and respond to is so much more rewarding than staring at a computer screen even if there’s a talking head on the other end. I think we’ve learned that we are social creatures after all.
  8. Because of fewer visits to the grocery store, some of us may be learning to do a better job of conserving food and using leftovers. Knowing I can’t immediately go to the store to replenish ingredients makes me stretch the food I already have so it lasts longer. A recent study of the habits of 2,000 Americans showed that the average American wastes 103 pounds of food per year. Perhaps being quarantined has helped us learn to manage our food more carefully, frugally, and creatively.
  9. For those of us who are a little more industrious, we may be celebrating the chance to use the extra time to clean out closets or drawers or even our garage. (My hand is going up here.) Having to stay home has provided a good opportunity to finish up projects or start one we’ve had to put off because of our usual busyness.
  10. We may also be realizing the importance of validating elderly parents and grandparents with our visits. One of the saddest things for me during this season of COVID 19 is seeing those in nursing homes and assisted living facilities living in isolation without visits from family and friends or even congregating together for meals and activities. Remembering my own mother when she lived in a nursing home for a time, I know how important my daily visits were to her. I can’t imagine her mental and emotional health could have survived months of isolation. My prayer is that those who care for the elderly in these facilities will soon be given plans to bring relief to the loneliness of their charges. I pray also that each of us will value our elderly relatives more than ever and shower them with our love and attention when things return to normal.
  11. Children have learned things too. During the quarantine, they’ve been able to use their free time to rediscover the fun of imaginative play and creative ventures like building forts, playing make believe, making crafts, or reading books for pleasure and discovering board games and puzzles with family.
  12. And, of course, we’ve learned the importance of  washing our hands for 20 seconds on a regular basis. Because it’s hard to tick off the seconds correctly, I recently learned that singing the Doxology while washing your hands is a good reminder of how to measure the time. It’s also a good reminder to continually lift our voices in praise to our loving Father throughout the day. Here’s a quick reminder of the words: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.” If you just read that, it should have been a 20 second read! You might remember that next time you wash your hands.
  13. And this brings us to perhaps the most significant question many of us have dealt with during this time—the question of our mortality. As we’ve watched the COVID 19 death toll rising each day, we realize death is a part of life. Our own mortality stares us in the face each time the news reports peel off the new statistics. Because of this, we’re perhaps more aware of the finiteness of life, our limited time on earth, and the frailty of our individual lives. Prayer and thoughts of God and eternity may hover a little longer in our minds. We indeed are finite creatures, small in the context of a larger universe. But this needn’t bring fear when we open our hearts and minds to the sovereignty of a God who loves us and designed us to be in fellowship and relationship with Him. He has a plan for us, a future for us, and when we submit ourselves to His love, our lives can become richer and fuller as we walk toward the eternity He prepared for us through the gift of His son.

In each event of life—both good and bad—I see the truth of God’s promise in Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” I believe that this is even true in the days of COVID 19. In spite of the difficulties of this time, God can use it for our good and His purposes when we come to Him with open hearts and minds.

What have you learned in quarantine? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

If this quarantine has been strained because of a marriage in trouble, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated might help you take the next best step.

Share
Filed Under: comfort, Death, Depression, Fear, God's goodness, Grief, health, health issues, joy, Lonliness, loss, national concerns, Peace, Problems, stress, Uncategorized, weariness Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, Interview with Author Rebecca Carpenter

May 7, 2020 by Leave a Comment

As I begin this interview with author Rebecca Carpenter, over 68,000 people are reported to have died from Covid 19 in the United States and over 259,000 throughout the world. The subject of dying is not far from our minds. But for some of us the subject is far too personal. Loved ones have died, and whether or not they died from Covid 19 or another cause, they have been taken from us. We grieve for them.

When Rebecca Carpenter’s husband died six years ago, she grieved also, but in the midst of her grief God brought a comfort to her she didn’t expect. Her book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, has brought comfort and solace to many, and I pray it can also comfort some of you who have lost loved ones.

Linda: Rebecca, what prompted you to write a book on grief?  

Rebecca: I certainly didn’t plan to write a book about grief. For years, I wrote devotionals about nature and articles for my church, magazines, and anthologies. Sometimes I sent emails of my work and printed out stories for friends. When people commented that they enjoyed reading my writings, my son set up a blog for me.

After I retired, I spent hours on my patio watching wildlife and getting ideas for my devotionals. My husband Alan and I traveled around the world so I also wrote about our trips. He constantly encouraged me to write. My parents often told me how much they liked what I wrote.

Difficult situations changed my life. Mother’s health deteriorated. Leukemia, diabetes, and other health issues curtailed her normally active life.

Not long after that, Alan learned he had idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. For a while his symptoms were mild. But they increased and our traveling stopped. Even normal daily activities wore him out. Except for doctor visits, he stayed home.

While I dealt with both of them, my dad’s health also declined. For years, he fought to regain strength after heart surgeries, knee surgeries, cancer and multiple other health problems. But when constantly visiting my mom in the nursing home, he had multiple strokes and never fully recovered from the major ones.

My life consisted of caring for Alan and taking care of financial and health matters for my parents. Stress joined me every day. Writing provided a release for my pain and grief at knowing I was losing them.

Within eleven months, all three passed away. Writing every day helped me deal with my losses. When I shared my writings, friends told me to put my devotionals into a book.

At first I resisted because writing a book seemed overwhelming.  But over and over, I heard I should do it. Finally, I felt God telling me the book would help others who were grieving. Only then did I realize I had to do it and God would help me.

Since Alan, mom and dad had encouraged me to write, I felt a book on grief would be a tribute to them.

Linda: Why did you choose the title Ambushed by Glory in My Grief? 

When I was mourning the loss of my husband, my mom, and my dad, God often showed up in wonderful but unexpected ways. 

At times, I felt foggy and unfocused. Just when I thought I was handling grief well, a memory, song or situation threw me back into sadness and tears. It helped just to discover my feelings were normal, which I learned by attending Griefshare, a Christian support group for people who are grieving. At Griefshare, I learned grief ambushed me.

When I shared my writings and my need for a title in my writers critique group at Word Weavers International, one of my fellow writers suggested this title. It was perfect.

Linda: Does your book cover represent anything special?

Rebecca: Yes, it does. With God ambushing me over and over with surprises of His glory, I wanted to show light with the darkness. I used a picture of sunrise over my lake.

The lake calms me and constantly provides beauty and lessons from His creation. Sunrises, eagles in the trees, ducks on the lake, flowers of all kinds are a few examples. I feel blessed every time I look out over the lake and know God is with me through all kinds of circumstances. I wanted my book to show that even in dark times, Jesus shows up as the Light.

Linda: How did Alan’s illness affect your marriage?

Rebecca: We had only been married three years when he received his diagnosis. However, we dated for seven years before our marriage, which was the year we both retired.

Because we both had been single for a long time, we didn’t jump into marriage again quickly. I had been single for sixteen years and he was single for twenty-six. When we finally married, we looked at things differently than we would have as youngsters. Although both of us had our own ideas of how to do things, a sense of humor helped prevent major struggles.

We enjoyed working together, traveling and going on mission trips. He always looked out for me and took care of chores I had been used to doing myself as a single parent. I felt pampered. I loved doing things for him too.

After our last mission trip, he felt worse. When we visited his doctor, Alan shocked me by asking the doctor how long he had to live. Although I knew he was more fatigued, I didn’t want to admit the terminal disease was taking his life. Our time together was supposed to be much longer.

The doctor said, “Six months.”

I could hardly breathe. Somehow, I made it to the car and picked Alan up from a wheelchair in front of the building. I had become his caregiver. No longer could he take care of me like I was used to. I hated the role reversal and so did he.

When we got home, he called hospice and they came out that day. He began his journey of dying with a purpose. On a legal sized paper, he wrote a long list of items to accomplish for his limited time. Most of what he wrote benefited me. He wanted to make life easier for me before he died and after he was gone.

Every day, I think of how much he loved me and showed it by using his limited energy for tasks like making phone calls to insurance companies, buying a new car and bike for me, and giving away some of his clothes.

There was sadness during his final months, but our love for each other pushed it to the side. We wanted to make the most of every day. We didn’t argue or complain but enjoyed being together.

Unfortunately, the doctor was wrong. Alan only lived two months longer and not six.

Linda: It sounds like Alan did indeed take care of you, even in those months before he died. Since that time, how has publishing your book changed your life?

Rebecca: Frequently, I hear from people who have read my book and have been encouraged. There is a ripple effect as they give my book to others who are grieving. People open up to me in their pain because they know I understand.

I feel compassion in a new way for those with losses. My heart hurts for them. Because I have been comforted, I can do the same for them. I ask God each day to show me who I can help and frequently, it is someone who is grieving.

Linda: Have you finished grieving after six years?

Rebecca: No. However, the grief is less intense and more like an ache instead of a sharp pain. Ambushes still occur but less frequently. Last year on Alan’s birthday, I cried easily for two days. The year before I didn’t cry at all. I have learned grief is unpredictable but so are the wonderful ambushes of God. He has been with me through the entire process and enables me to reach out to others who are grieving.

Linda: Where can people find your book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, and how can they find your blog?

Rebecca: People can find my book on Amazon in both print and kindle formats and also in some local Christian bookstores. I’d love to have people visit me on my blog at http://rebeccacarpenter.blogspot.com

 

Share
Filed Under: BOOKS, comfort, Death, faith, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, Interviews, Jesus, Lonliness, loss, New Directions, Peace, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Crying Out to God in Distress

April 23, 2020 by 2 Comments

Photo by Ben White

Often as an author, when I get e-mails from readers, I hear stories of devastation, where not only a person’s marriage is in shambles, but a child is rebelling, a house is in foreclosure, jobs have been lost, a mother is dying, and more.  Crisis seems to come in clusters.  One misfortune would certainly be enough for any person to handle, yet many times catastrophe piles on top of calamity until a person can scarcely breathe—crushed beneath the weight of disaster.

Some of you may feel like this now. In the middle of this pandemic, sickness threatens in every corner of the globe bringing fear about everything you touch. But even if you’re able to keep that monster at bay, your finances may be drying up; debtors call on the phone and you try to decide between paying a bill and buying food. In addition, perhaps in an already stressed family situation your brain has begun to feel like it’s about to explode in the close quarters of your living space.

The fear and anxiety is mounting to an unprecedented level, and you simply don’t know where to turn.

Psalms 107 recites story after story of people in dire distress who came to the end of their rope. Some were wanderers with no place to live and nothing to eat and drink, some were in prison, some were suffering addictive behavior, some traveled on the seas in ships during a tempest. And in each situation, they came to the end of their ropes when they saw no hope. But when they came to this point, The Bible says, “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.”  Psalm 107:6

They couldn’t stand it any longer, and they cried out to the Lord in their trouble. I’ve been there. I’ve felt like that. I can feel that cry! Can’t you? A cry that comes from deep within the soul. A cry that says I can’t do this anymore. A cry of desperation. A cry of deep pain.

Just as in those emails I get, you may be in this place too. With the world collapsing around you, you may be crying out to God for answers.

Why does this happen though?  Why does a loving God allow the problems to accumulate, hit all at the same time, and the pain to grow until we feel utterly helpless to deal with what is happening in our lives?  Has He no mercy?  When is enough enough?

C.S. Lewis in his book, The Problem of Pain, says, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.  It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Often it is only when we are suffocating beneath the load of crisis that we truly come to a place where we cry out to Him and are willing to surrender our wrestling wills to Him. After one attack occurs, we may be in the process of looking for help. We think about praying. Maybe we do. Maybe we bow our heads in prayer and ask God to solve the dilemma. But when the problems begin to pile up, we feel paralyzed.  There is nowhere to turn. God becomes our only hope.  Even then we doubt and wonder, and only by God’s grace do we hold on.

It’s hard, but we have no place else to go. Our hearts melt in helplessness, and we hold onto God.

As our dependence on Him grows, roots begin to take hold in the soil of our souls.  We go deeper.  What began as only a temporary surrender, stays longer. Our characteristic tendency to recover quickly and then forget the God who brought us out of calamity dissipates as He keeps us longer in our place of dependence and strengthens our weak knees. When we have finally recovered, we will stand with confidence and new resilience and be transformed into more of what God called us to become.

And perhaps we will be ready to listen to what He wants to say to us. Perhaps we will hear His voice when he attempts to steer us in new directions. Perhaps we will be more willing to look into ourselves to see what changes He might want us to make.

There’s no more wonderful feeling than knowing God has heard your cry and delivered you from your distress. The hard part is coming to that place of surrender when you truly “cry out” to the Lord instead of stewing in the trouble.

Remember, what Satan means for your destruction, God means for your good.  Remember to call on His name! And stay with Him. Wait on Him. Wait to see the deliverance of your God.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted is available now.

Share
Filed Under: Depression, disappointment, Doubt, faith, Fear, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, How to win, Letting go, loss, Problems, stress, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dying to Meet Jesus, Author Interview with Randy Kay

April 9, 2020 by 1 Comment

We’re living through a scary time in our world with the daily death toll from Covid 19 rising each time we turn on the TV. But author Randy Kay has no fear of death any more. Because of a near death experience a few years back, Randy Kay can encourage those of us in the age of Covid 19 through his description of what it’s like to experience heaven. His new book, Dying to Meet Jesus, begins with his near-death-experience after dying and meeting Jesus in heaven. As CEO of PACEsetters and chairman of TenorCorp, Kay has written for Forbes and the Wall Street Journal.

As we look forward to Easter and the celebration of new life Jesus brings to us through His death and resurrection, Randy’s story gives us a riveting  glimpse into the heaven our God has prepared for us.

Linda: Randy, I understand you have more than 30 years of experience working in business and are the founder of PACEsetters. Tell us more about your background and how you became a Christian.

 Randy: ​I was a devout agnostic in my youth and challenged all religions through a comprehensive study at Northwestern University that I detail in my book.

Our researchers debunked all religions except Christianity. Most religions were created by a single individual or a fusion of beliefs. However, we discovered that the biblical account of God being true was validated with a probability ratio of 1.26 million to one! After that I cried out to an unknown God: “If you’re real, I need to know you as genuinely as I know my loved ones on earth.”

After surviving a near-fatal car crash, I began my sincere search to learn about the God of the Bible. I attended a church near Chicago and responded to an invitation for attendees who wished to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I prayed, and later that night I indeed met Jesus Christ in my spirit. Still, I remained a bit of a skeptic. I certainly did not believe in near-death-experiences (NDEs). That is, until I had my own.

Linda: I watched a TV interview with you and saw that you experienced a miraculous face-to-face encounter with Jesus, meeting Him at the point of death. Do you recall your first thoughts when seeing Jesus in heaven during that near death experience? ​

Randy: Yes, I clinically died from multiple blood clots and a drug-resistant infection throughout my body. My heart stopped beating.

I remember that first time meeting Jesus as vividly as if I were there right now. My “cheek to cheek” meeting with Jesus brings me to tears whenever I think back on it. My first thought in heaven was: “So this is Love.” Jesus hugged me, tightly. He did not have to say that He loved me, because His presence permeated every fiber of my being. I remember a sense of “knowing” – knowing that Jesus was my all, and that nothing could happen to me without Jesus being with me. Perfect peace and comfort possessed me. “I am with you always,” He said. I just caved into His chest. I felt at home like never in this world.

Linda: Can you describe the senses you experienced during your time with Jesus?

Randy: ​In heaven, Jesus fulfilled all of my needs, so I did not long for anything and I certainly had no worldly cares. Being with Jesus was sufficient for me. This is a difficult thing to describe, because that sense is like nothing on this earth. It was total completeness, absolute contentment. Another sense I experienced was that I had all of Jesus’ attention. I knew that He held the cares of the world, but I felt as though I was an audience of one.

As to heaven itself, the colors were more vibrant, the fragrances more aromatic, the landscape more beautiful than anything in this world. Everything was alive. The glory of God rested through the environs, and everyone and everything worshipped the Lord.

I remember the angelic chorus, rows of linens, the joy on the faces of everyone in paradise…there really are no adequate words to describe heaven. It was like walking into another dimension, as though I was viewing a beautifully painted landscape and then suddenly I had stepped into a living version of that landscape.

Linda: What a beautiful, comforting picture you present! Particularly at a time like this. Since your near death experience, have you struggled at all to share this story? How have people reacted to the story of your near death experience?

Randy: ​It took me 14 years before I could share my near death experience publicly. Before then, only a handful of people knew about it. There was no need to share it with others who might trivialize the most important meeting in my life. That is, until I was interviewed on GodTV about a business book I had written, and the interviewer (who was my former pastor), asked me about my near death experience. I cried while sharing my story for the first time publicly.

On the flight back, the Holy Spirit prompted me to write another book. However, this time the Holy Spirit prompted me to write about “our special time together.” At first, sharing this experience was hard. I felt like I was defiling something sacred, but then God’s peace and inspiration filled me, and the writing just flowed out. That is how I wrote Dying to Meet Jesus.

I now pray that readers will know God more intimately after reading this book. Also, I wanted to address the question as to why a loving God allows suffering. I hope that readers will better understand why God allows brokenness and suffering to happen, since I share several stories of brokenness involving others as well as my own sufferings. I share the suffering of my daughter’s struggles with drugs, illness, rape and attempted suicide for the first time. I also share my own struggles with depression. Several others in my life allowed me to share their stories of brokenness also.

Linda: What trials did you face after your near death experience? Did you expect to face more trials, or did you believe that the worst was behind you?

Randy: I never doubted God’s Love after my near death experience, but I did struggle. In fact, some of my greatest sufferings occurred after meeting Jesus. I lost my job, my financial security, and almost lost my family. At times I wondered why God did not just take me when He “had the chance.” However, in heaven, Jesus told me that He was returning me to this world because my purpose had yet to be fulfilled. Since then, I began teaching people how to thrive in life and how to overcome struggles.

Previously, I was a corporate executive. I lost almost all of my savings trying to fulfill the purpose with which God commissioned me, but I never doubted God’s hand in my life. When challenges arise, my Lord tells me to “trust” Him, and that He will always make my path straight. I am continually reminded that God is still with me.

Linda: Did your near death experience change your outlook on life? Please tell us a little about that.

​Randy: I know Love as a person and as a guiding presence, and that has made all the difference in my life. I can handle challenges better because of this deeply embedded awareness of Jesus as my friend. He is more real to me than most people I know! I can speak to others about God with more confidence and understanding. And, this has given me an insight into Jesus’ absolute devotion to His children that has transcended into every area of life, both the good and the bad.

Linda: In your book, you say, “Friends, be careful what you pray for.” Why do you have this reminder? ​

Randy: God answers prayer, but He will do it in a way that is best, even if the way to attain what we need is fraught with challenges. God desires our best, whereas we oftentimes desire what is convenient, or what appears good. This world sullies us with its temptations and false teachings. God refines us through a process of redemption. As a father, I know that the most painful process of parenting is allowing my children to go through challenges for their own good. God may allow suffering for a reason, but He will never leave us there. God collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and from those tears He produces a river of abundant life. That is what I saw in heaven.

Linda: During this scary time in our world, what message of hope can you give to people who pick up your book out of fear of dying or bereavement?

Randy: For the believer in Jesus Christ, there is no real death. I never experienced a sense of having died. I only experienced a transition to another place.

Leaving this world will be like leaving your workplace, and then suddenly finding yourself on a glorious vacation with the One who loves you most.  For anyone who has lost a loved one in Christ, know that he/she feels more alive today, as difficult as that may seem. There remains an empty place for those of us who are left behind, but I can assure you that we can look forward to an eternity in heaven with no remembrance of our losses or sufferings.

Grieving for a lost loved one is normal, but only because we will never again see our loved one in this world again. For believers in Jesus Christ, think of dying as similar to saying goodbye at the airport knowing you will not see your loved one for a while, but also knowing that someday, you will meet again. Celebrate that your born-again loved one is experiencing the best time of his or her life. And soon, like a blink of the eye from an eternal perspective, you will meet again in paradise. That will be a “wowsa moment!”

Linda: This is an amazing story, and I know people will be interested in reading more. Where can readers go to connect with you and buy a copy of Dying to Meet Jesus?

Randy: You can find the book at Amazon , Barnes & Noble , Christianbook.com, or your local book store.

Watch Randy Kay’s Interview on the Cornerstone Television Network

Share
Filed Under: BOOKS, comfort, Death, Doubt, Easter, Fear, Grief, Hope, Jesus, Surrendering to God, Time with God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
« Previous Page
Next Page »
Return to top of page · Copyright © 2024 Linda Rooks All Rights Reserved · Return to Linda Rooks