The Importance of Knowing How to Guard Your Heart

February 2, 2020 by Leave a Comment

When I walk with people through their times of brokenness, we often talk about Proverbs 4:23: “Guard your heart for the heart is the wellspring of life.” No one wants a broken heart, but life can be painful. Relationships can be painful. So how do we guard our hearts when trouble overwhelms us? What does this verse mean?

Sometimes to protect our hearts we bury them in superficial, mind numbing distractions or try to escape into worlds created by our own devices. We may build a crust around them so nothing can attack them or cause more hurt. We may think we are “guarding” our hearts by hardening them against the pain, against others who try to get close, and anything threatening to break open the outer shell of protection. Unfortunately, however, by taking these approaches, we may create a gateway for bitterness to grow, a bitterness that will eat away at our hearts and cause more havoc throughout our lives.

Other forces attack our hearts also—not just the pain of our circumstances. And these can be more subtle. When we go through a rough time in life, we are vulnerable to the noise of our culture—the pressures coming from society’s norms and values –and the opinions of other people. We hear them again and again. More and more, their answers begin to sound plausible and logical; they may seem the only way out. Our minds and hearts become clouded, and the whispers of God are unable to penetrate the noise and confusion of outside pressures. It feels easier to listen to those with the loudest voices and go with the culture around us.

Thankfully, when God cautions us to guard our hearts, He also tells us how to do it. In the verses directly before Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 4:20-22 instructs us how to guard our hearts. “My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.” Equally important, the end of Proverbs 4:23 tells us exactly why to guard our hearts.  “Guard your heart for the heart is the wellspring of life.”

When I picture the heart being the wellspring of life, I picture a spring of living water gushing up inside the heart, allowing God’s love, peace, and grace to overflow, washing through the person’s spirit and overflowing onto those around him. The heart is the way God connects with us. It’s the way He brings life to us.

Guarding your heart means pulling your heart away from the forces that have the potential to cause it harm, and trusting your heart to God. It means guarding your heart from the toxicities of the culture and the environment around you that would poison that beautiful life-giving wellspring of life coming from God. It means listening to God’s words to guard your heart from the arrows of Satan who would cause bitterness to grow and deceive you onto wrong paths. Instead of trusting your heart to the deceptive words and persuasions of those who might mislead or hurt you, scripture instructs you to guard your heart by putting it in the hands of the only One you can completely trust, and that is our loving and faithful Father God.

In Jeremiah, the prophet continually addressed a people who looked to the gods of other cultures, rather than the living God they’d known, to fulfill their needs and give them the pleasures they desired. God told Jeremiah to call out to them with the truth, to instruct them to listen to Him, but their hearts were stubborn, refusing to listen to God. They allowed the toxicity of the cultures around them to infect their hearts so they were no longer able to hear God and the things He wanted to tell them. As a result of their failure to “guard their hearts,” disaster came upon them.

When we “are still and know that He is God,” we can step out of the undercurrent of societal pressure and listen to God’s voice. What does He want us to do? Where does He want to lead us? Can we quiet our hearts long enough to hear? Are we allowing that spring of Living Water to bring His refreshing Spirit to wash through the clamor of confusion and stabs of pain so we can hear what He wants to say to us?

When we allow God’s Living Water to flow through our hearts, our hearts can remain soft and malleable to God’s touch. Sometimes that softening brings tears as we submit to the will of One whose ways are above our own, who takes us on paths that we can’t control or understand.  Our hearts are breaking; we are out of control; we no longer know what’s ahead. But when our hearts break in the stillness of God’s presence, Jesus pours His living water into the gaping holes to wash through the debris and residue from past hurts and disappointments to renew us. When our tears join with His Living Water, our souls can breathe in the life He wants to give us. We can walk the path He sets before us, unafraid of where it will lead because our eyes are on our Savior and Lord, our ears are tuned to His voice, and our hearts are alive with the wellspring of life.

* * *

If you are fighting for your marriage and need to know how to guard your heart in the process, check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

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How God Transformed Our Failing Marriage

November 20, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Guest Post by Jennifer Slattery

Photo by Frank McKenna

Back when my husband proposed to me, I didn’t think about how hard marriage would be. Honestly I didn’t think at all. I was swept up in the romance as this sweet man knelt before me, rose in hand, promising to love me for the rest of his life. Actually I’m not sure he even said that. If my memory is correct, he asked, “Do you want to marry me,” and I said yes. We didn’t talk about commitment, the strain of merging two very diverse lives, or any of the other problems we came to face after.

I was young, naïve, and had no idea the work, humility, and the growth it would require to join two lives. I also didn’t realize how completely ill-equipped and ill-prepared I was. I discovered very quickly through a nearly failed marriage that I couldn’t love my husband well in my own wisdom and strength. Half the time, I didn’t even have the gumption to try. I was too focused on myself, too filled with pride and insecurity, to create the type of relationship I longed for.

Although I tried. I followed plans and read books and cajoled and pestered and begged. And prayed, oh, I did a lot of praying—that God would change my husband. Because, you see, I was convinced our mess was entirely his fault. If only he weren’t so selfish or prideful or distracted, if only he spent more time at home, or talked more. . . .  I had quite a list, one I perpetually reviewed but we never seemed to progress toward resolving.

Eventually, in fact, before my daughter‘s fourth birthday, my husband and I found ourselves sitting in a divorce lawyers office, ready to end it all. Neither one of us wanted to be there, but we hadn’t a clue how to unravel the tangle of hurt and distrust we’d created in our now failing marriage.

That evening, I left frustrated with myself, with the the state of our failing marriage, with the prospect of a shattered family, and angry with God. I knew divorce wasn’t His will. Therefore, I determined He wanted me to remain miserable for the rest of my life.

A few nights later, while my husband worked the graveyard shift and my daughter lay upstairs sleeping, I sat in a dark, silent living room, feeling completely alone. Not just alone, but trapped in my loneliness. “God, I give up,” I said. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Though at the time my words were more flippant than heartfelt, God answered, and He began to turn things around. He helped me connect with some strong Christian women—and disconnect from some perpetually unhappy ones who soured the way I viewed my life. But even more importantly, He drew me closer to Himself and shifted my focus off my husband and my failing marriage and onto Christ and myself.

First, He zeroed my gaze on my Savior. He reminded me of the depth of His love and care, of what He’d endured for me. In this, He helped me understand I was to love my husband, first and foremost, out of love for Him. On particularly tense days, when our arguments seemed to outnumber our smiles, I may not have felt my husband deserved anything from me, but Christ deserved my all, my full surrender.

Second, He showed me all the transformational work He longed to do within me. As I sat there in His presence, my heart laid bear before Him, He spoke tenderly to my soul—words of wisdom and insight, and often, conviction. In the light of His grace, as I began to set all my finger pointing aside, clarity came. I realized, yes, my husband had room to grow, but so did I.

God wanted me to focus on growing into the wife and mother He created me to be, entrusting my husband to Him.

And so I did. Surrendering my hurt, my wisdom, and my husband to my Father wasn’t easy, but it was freeing. And healing. Healing for me and our marriage. The more I released my grip, it seemed, the more of God’s power was unleashed within me.

The power to hold my tongue when angry words fought to come out.

The power to see good when everything around me felt hard.

The power to forgive when seeds of bitterness tried to grow.

The power to trust.

The power to love.

The power to hope.

That was over twenty years ago, and God has done amazing things within each of our hearts. I can honestly say, we’re closer than we’ve ever been. Those arguments that used to occur daily are now rare, and they are much shorter lived. The hurt? Gone. And in its place, love—enduring, inconquerable, love. Not because we said or did the right thing or figured this whole relationship dance out, but rather because we surrendered to the One who had. The One who formed us, who loved us, and fought for us.

Can you identify with Jennifer? If you feel you have a failing marriage, what steps do you feel God wants you to take next?

Jennifer Slattery is a writer and international speaker with a passion for helping women discover, embrace, and live out who they are in Christ. As the founder of Wholly Love Ministries, she and her team partner with churches to facilitate events designed to help women rest in their true worth and live with maximum impact. She maintains a devotional blog found at Jennifer Slattery Lives Out Loud and on Crosswalk. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. When not writing, reading, or editing, Jennifer loves going on mall dates with her adult daughter and coffee dates with her hilariously fun husband. Contact her HERE to book her for your next women’s event.

Hometown Healing:by Jennifer Slattery  – She’s home again, but not for long…
Unless this cowboy recaptures her heart

 

If you have a failing marriage, find hope and help in my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted. by Linda W. Rooks.

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A Sacred Flow of Tears

September 10, 2019 by Leave a Comment

. . . When Our Tears Touch the Heart of God . . .

Photo by Claudia

I heard her voice cracking as she described the situation in her marriage to me over the phone. She paused briefly, cleared her throat, and resumed her story. I could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions. At the end of our conversation, I asked if I could pray with her. She agreed. As my prayer ended, she could no longer hold back the tears and began to sob uncontrollably. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” I said.  “I understand.”

And, oh yes, I did! Not only did I understand, but I knew her flow of tears was sacred in the eyes of God. Her heart was breaking in His presence so He could enter in and bring her healing.

When our lives are rocked with troubles of catastrophic proportions, many of us try not to cry, try to be strong, try to hold back the tears. But when the burning pain within us gets to the breaking point and  tears begin to flow, that’s when the real freedom can start to take hold.

For I believe it’s at those moments when God’s heart is able to reach down to ours to encompass us in His love. God welcomes our tears. In fact, He cherishes them. In Psalm 56:8 David even says God puts our tears in His bottle. “You put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in your book?” David asks.

Why are tears precious to God? Why does the Bible picture God as keeping our tears in a bottle and making note of them in His book?

A Broken Heart

Weeping is often an outward sign of what is happening inwardly. When we cry, our heart is in the midst of breaking. It’s softening. Our control of the situation is at an end. The problem is bigger than we are. Our emotions are telling us we no longer have answers.

When we allow the tears to flow, the pain ripping at our hearts opens them up to a brokenness that can then be healed by the mighty hand of God – if we will let him. Psalm 34 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tears are sacred. They are the God-given gift to us that allows Him to prepare the soil of our hearts for His healing so we can receive more of Him and more of the gifts He wants to give us.

When we are walking through the valley, trying to hold on to hope, but knowing hope is only possible by giving our situation to God, many of us struggle to let go. Letting go does not come naturally. We want to hold on and figure things out for ourselves. When we finally do, for some of us letting go and surrendering our circumstances to God may be accompanied by tears as we finally give up trying to be in charge. When our hearts break in His presence, He will sit with us in our grief. He will comfort our hearts and put them back together so they can reflect the mystery of His perfect calling for our life.

Those Who Wept in the Bible

Time and again we read about characters of the Old and New Testaments shedding tears as they prayed and wept before God in anguish over their circumstances. They were not hot angry tears, but surrendering, heartbreaking tears. And when their hearts were surrendered to the Lord, God heard and answered their prayers.

  • The faithful King Hezekiah was given 15 more years to live (Isaiah 38:1-5).
  • Nehemiah was able to go and rebuild the wall of Jerusalem (Nehemiah 1:4 – 2:6).
  • David was protected from his enemies over and over again and went on to become the most celebrated king of Israel (Psalm 6:6-10, 39:12).
  • A sinful woman was forgiven of her many sins while she wept in repentance and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears (Luke 7:44-47).
  • Paul’s anguish and heartfelt tears resulted in God’s leading him with sensitivity in his writing of his letter to the Corinthians so the people could see his love rather than be grieved by his words of correction (2 Cor. 2:4)

Songs of Joy

God heals the brokenhearted. When our tears bring us into communion with God in prayer and we allow Him to come deeper into our hearts, He can transform that pain into something new. Our hearts become fresh clay that He can mold into a more compassionate, caring, and sensitive vessel He can fill with his love and purpose.

And perhaps that’s why the Bible also says, “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them (Psalm 126:5-6).

I love this image for in it I see a picture of ourselves when we are the brokenhearted. When we come to God, tears flowing and our hearts humbled and surrendered into God’s holy hands, our tears can water the softening soil of our hearts to produce blessings that only His love within us can produce. And with His blessings of love come the songs of joy.

Don’t be afraid of tears. When your heart is breaking, let the tears wash the pain from your heart so your heart is ready to experience God’s healing balm and the fullness of His amazing love.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).

Think about this. If God’s love is using your tears to water the soil of your heart, what blessings might result from this?  What are the “sheaves” you will carry later on as you sing your songs of joy? I’d love to see your comments.

If you want to fight for your marriage, let me walk with you through the pages of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. There you will find practical help that can guide you toward reconciliation even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

 

 

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Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs, Author Interview with Patty Mason

August 7, 2019 by 1 Comment

With depression rates climbing and listed as a leading cause of disability worldwide, author Patty Mason wants you to know that if you or someone you love is battling depression, you are not alone and there is hope. Patty knows the pain and devastation of depression, but she is no longer in that dark place. Her passion and deep-seated conviction to help others learn the truth and break the cycle, compels her to extend hope by earnestly sharing her story in her new book, Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs.

 Linda: Patty, what a joy it is to be able to hear more of your story of how you overcame depression. I think as a nation, we’re all becoming more and more aware of its seriousness. But first, tell us, what led to your depression.

Patty: Depression has a root, so the depression began years before any symptoms became visible. Because of my abusive past, a counselor or psychologist might say the depression took root in childhood. My issues with anger certainly took root then. But from my perspective, the depression took root at age eighteen, when I started to leave the past behind and search for the things I thought would fill me and make me happy.

Linda: Hmmm. I’m intrigued. How would a search for fulfillment lead to depression? 

Patty: Many things can cause depression: hormonal imbalance, a chemical inconsistency in the brain, life-altering events, such as the loss of a loved one or chronic illness, even bitterness and unforgiveness can lead to depression. It may seem odd to say a quest for fulfillment contributed to my depression, but to see that it’s possible all we have to do is watch the news to learn of another outwardly successful life that was cut short.

Linda: If the depression took root at eighteen, when did the symptoms appear? When did you know you were depressed?

Patty: At age thirty-five I was at the peak of life. I had a husband who loved me, three beautiful healthy children, a nice home, and a successful career, yet I was miserable. Even though I had everything I longed for and set out to find from the time I was eighteen, once I received it, it didn’t measure up—it couldn’t. All my hopes, dreams, and expectations left me empty.

The day I realized I was depressed, I was standing on stage in Dallas, Texas, before thousands, being recognized for one of the highest levels of achievement in the company. In that moment, I found myself thinking: Is this all there is? Is this what I shipped my children off to a babysitter for? Is this why I did the changing of the guard with my husband? In the middle of what should have been a magnificent moment, my soul began its plummet from this momentary high, to miserable depths of confusion. From that day on my life spiraled down a deep, dark tunnel.

Linda: When you realized you were depressed, what did you do? How did you deal with the depression?  

Patty: At first I hid my feelings and tried to fix myself. I did everything I could think of to get better. Nothing worked. I turned to alcohol for comfort and to cope. Plus, the alcohol made me sleepy, so this provided another form of escape. When I realized I couldn’t help myself, I turned to family and friends. Afraid of what others would think, this was difficult. How would they react when I told them about my extreme sadness, bouts of rage, and turning to alcohol? Would they judge me, criticize my feelings, or condemn my actions?

Since I hid everything prior to this point, when I finally started to talk about it, to my surprise no one judged, criticized, or condemned. Instead they didn’t believe me. Even my sweet husband didn’t get it. Every day I tried to tell him something was wrong. And every time he said, “Oh, you’ll get over it.”

Linda: How did the depression and your husband’s unwillingness to listen effect your marriage?

Patty: His response made me feel even more isolated and hopeless. What I needed from my husband was compassion. I needed an active listener with whom I could be open and transparent, someone to really hear what I was going through and try to comfort me. This is one of the reasons why I added a special section in the book for caregivers, along with practical tips on how to handle someone with depression. Depression is hard on everyone. If you don’t know what to do or how to help your loved one, you can make the depression worse.

Linda: Did you ever seek professional help? Did you take medication?  

Patty: I did seek professional help, believing that if I could just get a pill I’d be fine. I called several doctors, but I would get responses like, “I’m sorry, we don’t handle that kind of depression.” Or, “I’m sorry we don’t take your insurance.” Since I couldn’t find a doctor to help me, I never went on medication.

Linda: What did you do when you couldn’t find help?

Patty: Not being able to help myself or find help from family, friends, or doctors, I felt so alone that I began to have thoughts of suicide. I actually convinced myself my family would be better off without me.

Linda: Oh no, and your husband didn’t see the signs that you felt this way?

 Patty: No, he continued to believe I’d be fine. I knew my husband loved me, but he didn’t understand what I was going through. That’s the thing, if you’ve never experienced depression, you don’t understand the deep despair, or the irrational way the mind thinks.

Linda: How did you find healing? What happened?

 Patty: In desperation I cried out to God. But I didn’t ask for healing, I asked for Him to take my life. I was suicidal, so I was still thinking death was the only way out. For months I prayed that way, but the turning point came when I felt as though I had been ground into the ashes from which I came.

One morning as I stood sobbing in the shower, I knew I had come to the end of myself. Instead of begging God to take my life, however, I cried out to God for His help. It was a simple prayer. I acknowledged that only He could help me, and then asked Him to help me. Through my sobs I heard a faint voice say, “Go to MOPS.” I didn’t want to go. I had been avoiding the meetings because of my depression, but I went as an act of obedience.

At the meeting the speaker, a soft-spoken, warm, and gentle older woman, grabbed my attention when she began to speak about what it’s like to have a lack of joy and no real purpose in life. I was intrigued and began hanging on every word as she talked about finding joy in Christ. At the end of her talk, I responded to her invitation to pick up some literature and ended up pouring out my heart to her. Even though she was a stranger I could feel the love of God reaching out from her to me. I wanted whatever she had to give me. I wanted to get rid of the pain.

After listening for several minutes, she touched me on the arm, and immediately the heaviness lifted from my spirit. I felt a freedom I’d never known before. As I turned to walk away I knew God had healed me.

Linda: This is an amazing story! But I want to back up a minute. You said earlier depression has a root. How important is it for us to understand where that root came from, and how do we get to that root?  

Patty: We will not move forward until we understand the origin of the depression, anger, fear, insecurity, whatever emotional pain is keeping us bound.

Start by asking God to show you why you are feeling the way you are, and where it started? Don’t be afraid to ask yourself and God some difficult questions. Once the root is exposed, ask God to get it out. I talk about this in the book and the process we need to go through. It’s not easy. We will need to cooperate and work with God through the process; but, in the end, it is worth it! This is also why I talk about depression from a biblical perspective, its causes and its cures. We need to understand that not all depression is clinical or mental illness.

Linda: What is the one message you want people to take away from your book? 

Patty: You are not alone and there is HOPE! Many mighty men and women of God—who knew God and walked with him—also knew what it was like to fall into a pit of despair and hopelessness. The good news: God didn’t leave them there. He cared for them, gave them what they needed, brought good out of their circumstances, gave them a new perspective, and delivered them.

Linda: Where can readers find a copy of Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs, or learn more about you or your ministry?

Patty: Visit our website at www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com.  You can also ask for Finally Free at your favorite bookstore, or order it online. If you’d like a signed copy, we are offering a discount through our website.

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, Feeling unworthy, health, health issues, Hope, Interviews, Lonliness, mental illness, Pain, Receiving Christ, Surrendering to God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

When Prayers Go Unanswered

May 22, 2019 by 1 Comment

Why does it sometimes seem to take so long for God to answer our prayers?

We cry out to God, knowing—believing—that all God has to do is speak the word and He can give us what we want.

We cry out.  We ask.  We believe.

Sometimes the answer comes quickly, and we’re amazed and blown away by the wonder of His answer. And sometimes it’s a clear “no” as Janet talked about in her post last week.

But other times—many times– we wait while answers seem to hang suspended in the heavens. We can’t see them. Nor hear them.  Nothing seems to be happening. Our prayers go unanswered.

And then come the doubts. Does He not hear?  Does He not care? Why must we suffer through the distress of unanswered prayers?

Why?

The Potter

God is our Father, our Provider, our Advocate, our Strong Deliverer, our Refuge and Strength.  But another one of His roles in our lives is that of the Potter. He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the One who searches hearts and minds,

He loves us exactly like we are, but He, our Creator, can also see the breathtaking beauty within us that still lies rough and unshapen amidst the confusion of our souls.  He is the potter taking the warm clay of our lives in His hands to mold us into what He envisioned us to be at the moment of our conception.

Why must we wait?  Why do our prayers go unanswered? Sometimes it’s because He loves us so very much that He wants to bring out that beauty within us.  And sometimes we wait while God kneads and molds the life of someone close to us, someone who is watching us, someone who needs the touch of God on their life.

It may be a prodigal child, a spiritually lost spouse, or a parent who has yet to meet the Savior.  It may even be a friend who watches us from afar to see the miracle of God’s love grow deep and bold within us as we look to Him in faith.

But all this takes time and surrender.

When prayers go unanswered and we wait anxiously for an answer, God may be waiting for us to acknowledge His role as potter and surrender our pain to the potter’s wheel where He can turn it into the lustrous gold of eternal praise and glory to His name.

A Bigger Plan

He is our Emanuel, God with us.  He has not abandoned us.  He is here, and He has a plan.  His plans are higher than ours and have a breadth of purpose we cannot comprehend, but He promises that if we love Him and are called according to His purpose, it will all work together for good.

When we wait through the disappointment of unanswered prayers, we give God time to carry out His plans for us and those we love.

1 Peter 1: 6-7 says: “You rejoice in this, though now for a short time you have had to be distressed by various trials so that the genuineness of your faith—more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (HCSB)

If this is where you are right now . . . if your prayers seem to have gone unanswered, place your prayers on the altar where God can take them and breathe new life into your dreams and desires so He can carry out His perfect will for your life. Wait on Him.  Let the Potter do His work. He knows how to create beauty from the ashes of unanswered prayers.

if you want God’s spirit refreshed and renewed in your life—offer up the following song as a prayer to Him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BagH-zTfnsQ

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When God Says “No”

May 15, 2019 by 15 Comments

When our world is rocked with crisis and we cry out to God, what do we do when the answer we seem to get from Him is not what we want to hear?  How do we respond when God says “no?”

Award winning author and speaker Janet McHenry has an answer for us, and I asked her to share with us her answers to this question. For in her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today, she tells us how the very prayers that Jesus prayed can teach us how to respond when we hear that disappointing “no.”

So I’m going to turn “Heart Talk” over to Janet today. If you leave a comment for Janet, I will enter your name in a drawing for her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, published by Bethany House.

When God Says “No”

by Janet McHenry

One of the toughest things to handle as a Christian is how to respond when God says “No.”

We know that every prayer for healing is not answered.

Every prayer to be saved from bankruptcy is not answered.

Every prayer to save a marriage is not answered.

So . . . what are we to believe about prayer in those contexts? And what are we to believe about God?

After all, didn’t God say in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you”?

In Psalm 37:4 God says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

And Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:23-24).

Yes, God answers all prayers in some way. Pastor and author Rick Warren has said, “God answers every single prayer. Now, he doesn’t answer them the way you’d like it every time, but it’s an answer. ‘No” is an answer. ‘Wait” is an answer. ‘Grow up’ is an answer. ‘In a little while’ is an answer. ‘In my way’ is an answer. God never leaves a prayer unanswered.”

So, okay, technically the answer was “no” . . . there was an answer, but how do we reconcile that no answer with the earlier scripture promises about fulfilling our heart’s desires and such? And then how do we as Christians respond?

Because I always turn to Jesus as my prayer mentor, I searched how he responded when the Father said “no” to him.

Jesus prayed what I called the two-sided coin prayer in one of my books many years ago: “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

On the one side of the coin: “Take this cup from me.”

On the other side of the coin: “Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

So, Jesus laid out his heart’s desire . . . and his Abba, his Father, said “no” . . . and Jesus headed to the Cross.

The next three of Jesus’s prayers, I believe, spell out how we can respond as Christians when we don’t see our prayers answered the way we’d like. These are the last three of Jesus’s ten prayers that we have—and all of them he said as he was hanging on the Cross.

Forgive 

The first of those three prayers is “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). So the first thing we can do is forgive.

Jesus was forgiving the soldiers who had nailed him to the Cross, but perhaps he also was forgiving Pontius Pilate and the Jewish officials and even Peter, who had denied him, and the rest of the disciples, who had vanished.

Years ago my rancher husband had seven cattle that died in a two-day blizzard. Six calves and an old bull had bedded down in a dry creek bed and gotten covered over. Despite those conditions, Craig was convicted of six felony animal abuse charges four years later. Because the judge refused to allow our key witness to testify—a UC Davis vet professor, the chief expert in the West on cattle—and refused to have a lot of important evidence admitted, we won a reversal in the California Court of Appeals, but we had a lot of forgiving to do. That case took six years out of our lives, as well as a lot of financial resources. But forgiveness isn’t about what we deserve; it’s kingdom work, and it’s what Jesus did, so we do it in obedience.

Lament 

The second thing we can do when God says “no” is lament. Lament means to cry out mournfully. And Jesus’s second prayer continues to give us insight about how to respond: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:45-46).

Yes, go ahead and cry it out. God can take it. Not complain. But cry out in your pain.

This prayer above all others addresses the biggest, most-often asked question mankind has about God. WHY? Why does God allow suffering? Why must we fall into the hellholes of life? If God loves us so much, wouldn’t such a loving Father steer us around the intersections of pain? Couldn’t there be a better way?

Jesus used the word “forsaken.” He was deserted, dumped, abandoned . . . at least he humanly felt that way. But his being abandoned led to our being adopted. Just as an abandoned baby left at a church or a firehouse might be adopted by a young couple that had been praying for years, Jesus’ abandonment, led to our adoption.

It’s true that we might not always see the purpose in our suffering. We may never. Yes, life isn’t fair. And sometimes the WHY? question gets stuck in our hearts. It hurts. But we can control how we respond.  We can use our pain for others’ good, if we stop, look around, see others who are suffering in similar ways, and reach out to them to encourage and support them. We do not have to stay in that place of feeling forsaken. We can take practical steps to use our hurt to help others.

Submit  

In Jesus’s third prayer from the cross, we learn to submit. Scripture tells us “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ And when he said this, he breathed his last” (Luke 23:44-46.

“Into your hands.” Wow, that could seem like a scary prayer, except that when we commit or submit ourselves to our heavenly Father fully, we are giving ourselves to the God who redeemed us, the One who adopted us, the one who loves us.

I know such relinquishment, because I saw this through my dad. Six months after he began noticing that he was having a hard time gripping a golf club anymore, he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—ALS—which destroys the nerve endings to the muscles until eventually the person cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot count on a heartbeat.

Although the doctors said he would have two to four years, he died five months after diagnosis. However, he not only showed other people how to live with faith; he showed others how to die with faith.

My dad had a quick wit, always turning a phrase and telling jokes. Even in his last hours he was still joking with those around him. The day before he passed away, he was still able to push the call button, so he called for the nurse, who came in and said, “Did you call me, Bob?”

He smiled and said, “Why would I call you Bob? Your name is Mary.”

You see, people, the world doesn’t need to see Christians living out their faith in prosperity and posting all the happy stuff on Facebook. They need to see us facing struggles with dignity, with faith, and with integrity. They need to see us thanking God despite our pain and struggles. They need to see us real and vulnerable, yes . . . but in a looking-up posture that shows that FAITH WORKS: that God is real in our lives, that he is worthy of our trust, and that it is our faith alone that sustains us in the Dark Night of the Soul.

Jesus’ prayers teach us how to respond when God says “no”: forgive, lament, and submit. But they show us something even more important: the ONE THING we need to remember about prayer. God himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to bring our needs before him. He wants us to offer praise and thanksgiving and confession, but even more than that, HE himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to develop our relationship with him, to be a bigger part of our daily, moment-by-moment life, drawing closer to him and learning more about his good character.

Prayer is not about finding pockets of time to say a few remote-controlled phrases. Prayer is about relationship—becoming closer to the One who created you and loves you, so that when God says “no,” you simply nod your head and know he still loves you, he is still in control, and he will walk you through the valley you’re in.

If you’d like a chance to receive a free copy of The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It will Change Your Life Today, please leave a comment below.

* * *

Janet McHenry is an award-winning speaker and the author of 24 books, including the best-selling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today. You can see more about Janet, her speaking ministry, and her books at www.janetmchenry.com.

 

 

 

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When New Life Appears

May 8, 2019 by 5 Comments

This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord. Ezekiel 37:5, 6b

When the city arborist stopped by to tell us they had received a grant to plant new trees in our neighborhood, we were delighted. We would receive two Shumard oaks, hearty ones that would grow tall and had a long life span, unlike our pretty laurel oaks that suffered so much in recent hurricanes.

The city planted the oaks, and someone came by regularly to pour water into the irrigation sacks around their trunks. However, a few weeks later the leaves on one of them started turning brown. Before long all the foliage on the tree appeared dead.

One evening when we went out for a walk, Marv said, “I wonder if they’ll take that tree out and bring us a new one,”

“Maybe we should call the city and let them know it’s dead,” I said. “It apparently never got a strong start.”

Each day we speculated about its prospects but didn’t make any calls, and the tree remained.

One morning Marv announced that a city truck came by and the driver again watered our new tree. We shook our heads and wondered why they were still watering a tree that was clearly dead. A few days later, however, when we stepped outside, we noticed a few green leaves at its base. The city continued watering it, and each evening as we went out to take our walk, we were astonished to see new life appear as green leaves continued to spread from the bottom to the top. In a few weeks, the entire tree was green once more. Our new Shumard oak was alive and growing.

“It’s amazing how that tree has come back to life,” Marv said. “You should use it in one of your stories. It would be a good analogy for marriages.”

When New Life Appears in a Marriage

It was, in fact, a good analogy for what had happened in our own marriage. For although at one time our marriage seemed dead, we gradually saw new life appear.

I remembered an afternoon thirteen years earlier at the beginning of what was to become our painful three-year separation. At this point, Marv and I hadn’t seen each other for two months, and the Christian couple he was staying with urged him to come talk to me. When I saw him at the door, I hoped it would be the beginning of reconciliation, but his downcast face quickly told me otherwise.

He slumped in the burgundy club chair he always sat in when we had our “talks.” I sat on the couch.

“I can’t tell you anything you want to hear,” he said dolefully.

My heart withered. I knew that meant he couldn’t say he loved me. I knew that meant he couldn’t say he wanted to reconcile our marriage. But, being a gentleman, he didn’t want to say the words. He didn’t want to hurt me more than he already had.

But I knew. The absence of words told me the ones left unsaid.

I plied him with questions, but he remained expressionless, and his answer stayed the same. When he left, I ran upstairs and collapsed on the bed, sobbing. I could see he felt our marriage was dead.

But like the Shumard oak, even though our marriage appeared to be dead, unbeknownst to either of us, a flicker of life still lingered.

As the months unfolded, each of us began allowing God to convict us of what we individually needed to do to change the dynamics between us. It took time, patience, and grace. But when we gave God the freedom to make us the new persons He wanted us to be, we began to see new life appear in our relationship. Our love returned, and we eventually reconciled.

A New Foundation of Love

Some time after we got back together, a sweet moment signaled that a new foundation of love had finally been rebuilt between us. I had removed the biscuits from the oven, placed the cookie sheet on the stove top, and begun placing the plump rolls onto the serving dish. The rich aroma of pot roast filled the kitchen. Feeling movement behind me, I turned.

Marv’s eyes sparkled as he looked at me. He leaned down and kissed me. “I love you,” he said warmly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he held me tight. “I’m glad to be spending my life with you,” he said.

My heart danced as I gazed happily into his eyes. “Me too.”

Although the words “I love you” were common between us now, the spontaneous gesture gave them special meaning. No longer did the debris of brokenness dull the luster of our renewed relationship. The past hurts had scattered. The empty hole had filled. Our love was truly reborn. Twenty years and five grandchildren after that heart-wrenching day in our living room, life is as good as I could ever have hoped.

Marv tells the men in our marriage classes every week, “Feelings change. Don’t make your decisions based on feelings because they’re unreliable and they change.”

We are living examples. Marriages that appear to be dead can indeed be reborn. Many times people come to us saying the love in their marriage has died. However, when God is given the freedom to work in each of their lives, He can open their hearts to one another so green leaves of new life can begin to sprout.

When new life appears in a marriage it is a testimony to the promise of new life God gives to us both through nature and His Word. His power to bring life from death rocked the world 2,000 years ago and continues to rock the world today.

Share your heart. How can God make things new in your life?

© Linda Rooks 2019

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated available on Amazon and other online retailers

Listen to Marv and Linda’s story in a three-part series on Family Life Today as they both share from the heart about their separation and restoration.

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Hidden Things of the Heart

May 1, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.  See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalm 139:23-224

After a couple of hard freezes one winter, the sun was finally shining. I stepped outside to see that the bed of impatiens in our front yard had disappeared, apparently killed by the frost. In their place was a variety of weeds that had been growing, hidden beneath the cover of flowers. Before today I’d been unaware of them, but now that the awning of red, white, and pink blooms had died away, the weeds were all too noticeable. The flowers had vanished, but the weeds had survived.

As spring approached, other weeds shot up too, lone innocuous ones—tall, thin and lacy, but hardly noticeable among the other plantings.  Because the more virulent and intrusive vines and runaway fern posed a more difficult challenge, I went after them, and ignored these delicate weeds, leaving them for later.  Eventually, they grew taller and multiplied all over the yard.  Realizing I had an escalating problem, I began yanking them from the ground, but as I jerked the stems, little seeds flew off and scattered everywhere.

The Deception of Innocuous Weeds

These weeds reminded me of some hidden things in the heart we might not want to think about. Jeremiah 17:9-10 tells us “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” Unrecognized sin may lie in wait like the weeds hidden beneath my impatiens, unnoticed and seemingly innocuous. Negative effects of this sin may not surface for years as these hidden things of the heart fester and sprout beneath the cover of a pleasant personality.

Often these are not egregious seeming sins—the blatant sins we categorize as illegal, immoral, or cruel.  Some begin as a white lie, a puff of pride, a bitter reaction, a selfish thought, or a harsh word.  Inconspicuous sins like these can lurk beneath our false facade and seem innocuous like the delicate Florida Queen Anne’s lace that spawned throughout my flower beds.  When we hold them up beside the more intrusive, neon flashing sins of our neighbor, our co-worker, our parent or our mate, they seem to pale in comparison.  We shrug them off as merely a sign of being human.  We’re not expected to be perfect after all.

The time comes, however, when we find ourselves wrestling in our own willfulness – a constant veering off course to do things our own way instead of God’s. When we finally become aware of the severity of our sin, its persistence may have already caused havoc in our character, circumstances, or relationships. We cringe at the seeds of ugliness these hidden things of the heart have spawned.

This happened to me. When crisis stripped away the security and comfort in my life, the conviction of sin poked its ugly head through the frozen petals of my smiling exterior and hacked into my consciousness. There I saw the straggly vine of self-righteousness and pride and realized the hurtful consequences.

Recognizing the Hidden Things of the Heart

How do we recognize these hidden things of the heart since we are often blind to what is hidden so deep within our personalities? Psalm 19:12-14 says, “Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.

If we are truly sincere about wanting to address the weeds and blemishes in our character, the first thing we need is a teachable spirit. Instead of being defensive, we must open ourselves to hearing the truth even if it hurts—even to the point of asking those close to us if they see flaws we should address.  Most of all, it’s important that we pray and spend time in God’s Word, asking God to show us the hidden things in our hearts and changes He wants to make in us.

If we humbly search our hearts and honestly look at our actions, what will we find? Are we envious? Or covetous of another’s success?  Do we use witty remarks that reek of sarcasm and may unwittingly drive a knife into another’s self-esteem? Do we harbor unforgiveness, which starts out as a little grudge, but takes root as a bitter cancer to our soul?  Do we feel self-righteous in the face of another’s weakness? Do we glory in the pride of our accomplishments that are actually gifts from God?  Do we convince ourselves that a crafty manipulation of money or goods isn’t stealing—although it is?  Are we caught up in the flirtatious verbal tinkering with another person’s reputation that scripture condemns as gossip?  Or deep within our hearts are we guilty of the shortcoming shared by us all—the tug of selfishness that pulls us back into ourselves and keeps us imprisoned in a mind alien to God?

When Nathan confronted David about his sexual sin, David did not hesitate to admit his culpability. With a humble and teachable spirit, David immediately repented and accepted the punishment the Lord had for him.

“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.” David cried out in Psalm 51: 4, 7 & 8.  “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.  Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.”

When we walk with God, we don’t have to fear condemnation. He knows our weaknesses. He will gently reveal to us the dark spots in our character and the hidden things of the heart.  When we honestly acknowledge the weeds that hover menacingly within our lives and seek God’s forgiveness, He will lead us in the way everlasting.

 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. (2 Corinthians 13:5)

©Linda Rooks 2019

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated now available on Amazon and all your favorite online retailers.

 

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Fighting for Your Marriage While Separated

March 20, 2019 by 1 Comment

MY NEW BOOK, FIGHTING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE WHILE SEPARATED, A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted, released this week and is now available on Amazon. My own story of separation and reconciliation, along with the powerful stories of others who’ve walked this road, have prepared me to bring you this battle plan for reconciliation—stories which were born in pain, but now offer new life to struggling marriages.

What Turned Things Around?

But a curious thing happened to me the other morning.

Whenever I’m interviewed on radio or TV one of the inevitable questions I’m asked is what happened to turn things around during my three-year separation from my husband so we were able to reconcile our marriage.  That has always been a difficult question for me to answer because there wasn’t just one thing that made the difference. There were many.

But a few mornings ago as I was praying about an interview I had later that day, I suddenly realized I did have the answer! It was right in front of my eyes when I opened the first pages of my new book!  It was there in my chapter titles. Each chapter was an expansion of one of the things that had contributed to my own reconciliation story. Without realizing it, as I tried to show others how they could fight for their marriages and win, I had laid out the steps that lead to my own marriage reconciliation.

Through the years I’ve received many emails from readers of Broken Heart on Hold, asking me questions about their own marital challenges as they struggled to find reconciliation for their marriages. After finding hope, strength and encouragement for their marriages in the words of Broken Heart on Hold, they wanted to know how to take the next step. Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated provides the answers to these questions.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, begins where Broken Heart on Hold left off, continuing to guide you through the labyrinths of separation, this time with practical answers to your questions and true life stories to give you hope.

Today I’m giving you a peek into the chapters so you can get a glimpse of some of the things you can put into your arsenal so you can fight for your marriage and win even if you’re separated and fighting for your marriage alone. Each chapter of Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated provides one more link to the winning strategy that brought not only my marriage back together, but many other marriages as well.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated

  1. Reacting to Your New Situation – When a spouse first leaves, the one left behind is devastated and often caught off guard. He or she is tempted to react in reckless ways that may actually push his or her mate further away. The first chapter shows the reader how to take steps to turn rash reactions into constructive responses.
  1. Sizing up Your Relationship Dynamics – Looking at the assertive versus passive natures of each spouse in their marriage relationship can provide a surprising glimpse into what brought them to the point of brokenness. This chapter shows the reader how to unravel these complex dynamics and begin moving in a positive direction toward healing.
  1. Exchanging Negative Communication Patterns for Positive Ones – Our negative responses to one another form reactionary circles that take us around and around in a repetitious pattern of interaction that produces the same frustration and hurts again and again. But either spouse can interrupt this sequence of interactions and change the dynamics of the relationship. This chapter shows you how that can be done.
  1. Finding Power in Positive Words –The road to restoring a marriage is paved with responses that will most likely seem unnatural in the midst of anger and deep pain. Taking a positive approach, instead of following negative instincts, can turn a marriage around. How do you actually do this?
  1. Drawing on Outside Help – Those who are separated need support from others to work through the pain and find healthy answers. Knowing where to turn for help and how to recognize the difference between helpful vs. unhelpful support makes a difference. Even when choosing a counselor, it’s important to understand the difference between individual counselors and marriage counselors. Not all counselors are trained in marriage counseling, and an untrained counselor who tries to work with couples can do more harm than good. Marriage counseling is more difficult because the counselor is ministering to three separate clients at the same time and needs to know how to handle any conflict that may erupt in a counseling session. Knowing what to look for and what to avoid is important in getting the help you need.
  1. Protecting Your Child’s Heart – The children of a separated couple are torn in many directions emotionally, but usually hover in the background, unnoticed. How do we help them through their loneliness and confusion without entangling them in our own pain and disappointments? One of my own daughters, who not only suffered through my three-year separation but is now a mental health counselor, sheds light on this important but often overlooked subject.
  1. Stepping into the Prayer Closet – Effective prayer for our marriages encompasses much more than we think. Praying for restoration is only the beginning as we humble ourselves and allow God to sift the chaff from our hearts and lives, pray sacrificially for our spouses, and surrender everything to God.
  1. Letting Go–The Hardest Prescription – The true answer to turning the marriage around starts with letting go of control and giving it all to the God who knows how to put together the broken pieces of our lives to create something beautiful. How do we do that?
  1. Unwrapping the New You – To have a healthy marriage, we need two healthy individuals in that marriage. The separated person not only needs to take care of him/herself, but also let God unwrap the potential within. God uses the trials in our lives for a purpose. One of His purposes is to make us into more of the person He first designed us to be. We have a creative God who can use this time to take us on a new personal adventure of growth.
  1. Turning the Prayer Closet into a War Room – Once we have humbled ourselves and completely put our trust in God, we are ready to declare war on the enemy of our marriage. We begin by entering into God’s courts with praise and then dress ourselves piece by piece in the power of the armor of God.
  1. Making Tough Choices – How do we love the spouse who is tearing our marriage apart and protect ourselves as well? How do we handle a mate caught up in addictions or an affair? And what about an abusive spouse? In setting appropriate heart guards, it’s important to find that fine line between love and self-protection. An in-depth discussion with Counselor, John Tardonia, about physical abuse, a look at how to handle infidelity, and a powerful story from the trenches about addiction will help us find the answers.
  1. Dating as Friends – One perplexing issue a separated couple often begins to grapple with at some point is whether or not they can be friends while separated. The surprising answer to this is that a period of friendship dating can actually be a positive step toward putting a marriage back together.
  1. Knowing If It’s Time To Reconcile – Even when a prodigal spouse is ready to return, the timing may or may not be right for true reconciliation. There is a way that will successfully bring the marriage back together in a healthy forever relationship, and there’s a wrong way that may cause the marriage to break apart again. What are the signs that a separated couple is ready to get back together and rebuild a solid marriage? The story of a couple who did it both the wrong way and the right way sheds light on this subject.
  1. Learning to Live with the Same Spouse in a New Marriage – When a couple finally gets back together, how do they ensure that their marriage has a firmer foundation than before and that bad habits won’t return? How do they create safety for each other? And when relapses do occur, how should they handle them? My husband Marv and I share a number of principles that can help the new reconciled marriage become the marriage you always wanted.
  1. Coping With the “D” Word – Lurking in the separated person’s mind is a dark, dreaded fear. What if, after all the waiting, their mate still decides to file? Wherever this road leads, God has provided. You needn’t be afraid. God’s perfect love will carry you through no matter what happens. Answers to common questions about divorce are provided and helpful programs recommended.
  1. Who Are You Holding For? – Although your heart has been on hold for your spouse, it is only when you truly fill your heart up with Jesus that you will find a completely healed heart. He’s the only one who will give us a perfect love. In your waiting, God has brought you something more precious than what you thought you’d lost—the sweet intimacy of a deeper relationship with Christ. Two stories with different endings show how God is not limited by our own expectations and brings the beauty of restoration to us in different ways.

Finding the Hope to Fight the Fight

If you are separated, there is hope—even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone. Our culture is filled with misconceptions. One of them comes regularly whenever I begin telling people about the many marriages I’ve seen reconcile. After a sad sigh, one person will often say, “But it takes two to want to reconcile.”

While it ultimately does take two to finally get back together, it doesn’t take two to start the process of reconciliation. One spouse, alone, who is willing to trust God, focus on Him, and surrender the marriage to God, can often bring about restoration. But he or she needs to trust God’s ways and His timing and realize God has purposes beyond their own. Yes, eventually, it does take two. But God will restore the person who waits on Him during the waiting, sometimes in unexpected ways, regardless of the eventual outcome.

So come and join the battle. Let me join you as you fight for your marriage. I want to show you principles and strategies to help you win—even if you’re separated and fighting for your marriage alone. Together, let’s look to the Commander and seek Him for direction.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted

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A Bigger Plan for Paul

July 26, 2016 by 2 Comments

arched doorwayWhen Paul, the apostle, was imprisoned in Rome I can imagine the disappointment and confusion he must have felt. Why would God let him languish in prison when the world needed to hear the good news about Jesus?

Paul’s desire was to travel around the known world, evangelizing everyone within the sound of his voice, spreading the good news of Jesus Christ.  But instead, he was sent to prison, where very few were within the sound of his voice, and all he could do was . . .

. . . write letters!

His ambition, his dream, his goal, and I’m sure his prayer was to travel to different cities in the known world so He could bring people to Christ. These were good goals. They were meant to honor and glorify God. And yet God prevented him from doing so.

Why was this?

Because God had an even bigger plan for Paul.  God wanted him to write letters to the churches, whose influence and power would extend far beyond the times in which he lived. The epistles he wrote would become the foundation for the scripture of the New Testament so later generations would reap the benefit of his wisdom and anointing.  If Paul had had his way, only one generation would have benefited from his insights and revelations. His words would have been short-lived, only reaching the ears of whomever he encountered physically.

Instead, God had a bigger plan for you and me to hear his words, so they could produce eternal, lasting fruit for centuries to come.  When God denied Paul the answer to his prayer, God was thinking of us—you and me. Although Paul would never have been able to comprehend it, God’s plan was way larger than Paul’s. His plan was perfect.

God knew what He was doing. He did then, and He does now. He always does.

We nod our heads today and look back to see this clearly in the life of Paul, but can we see it in our own lives as well?  When things don’t go the way we’d like, when our prayers aren’t answered in the way that seems logical for us, how do we react?  Do we still see God at work in our lives? Do we still acknowledge that God is a big God with plans that are above our own? Or do we fuss and complain that our prayers have gone unanswered?

I have to confess that I am writing this for myself. I am most guilty of second-guessing God.  When I write something that glorifies God, but it doesn’t get published, I ask, “Why God?”  But I fail to realize that the God I want to glorify is a God beyond my limited understanding. His ways are higher than mine. His purposes are beyond anything I can presently comprehend.

And so I need to surrender.  I need to be still and let God be God. I need to rest in His arms a little longer and let Him guide me onto the perfect path where my desires are subservient to His glory. Where His love and grace stir my heart and fuel my passion into walking wherever He leads. Maybe down known paths, maybe unknown, but perfect because they lead to His throne and His glory to fulfill His purpose.

Perhaps you, like me, need to surrender your desires, your ambitions, and your dreams to God so He can fulfill the bigger plans He has for your life, plans which are far beyond our own imaginations, plans that bring blessing to us and others in ways that only a creative God can bring about, plans that have glorious and eternal results for His glory and His kingdom.

If you want to see His bigger plans unfold in your life, please pray with me as I lift these things to God:

Everything I have is yours, God. You know how my small offerings can fit into your bigger plan, and I give them to you. Let my prayers become a sweet smelling aroma to you as you transform my desires into manna for your perfect purposes and your everlasting glory. Amen.

 

“I know the plans I have for you . . .plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth,     so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55: 8-9

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Filed Under: Desire, disappointment, Doubt, God's goodness, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , ,
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