A Sacred Flow of Tears

September 10, 2019 by Leave a Comment

. . . When Our Tears Touch the Heart of God . . .

Photo by Claudia

I heard her voice cracking as she described the situation in her marriage to me over the phone. She paused briefly, cleared her throat, and resumed her story. I could tell she was trying to hold back her emotions. At the end of our conversation, I asked if I could pray with her. She agreed. As my prayer ended, she could no longer hold back the tears and began to sob uncontrollably. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“It’s okay,” I said.  “I understand.”

And, oh yes, I did! Not only did I understand, but I knew her flow of tears was sacred in the eyes of God. Her heart was breaking in His presence so He could enter in and bring her healing.

When our lives are rocked with troubles of catastrophic proportions, many of us try not to cry, try to be strong, try to hold back the tears. But when the burning pain within us gets to the breaking point and  tears begin to flow, that’s when the real freedom can start to take hold.

For I believe it’s at those moments when God’s heart is able to reach down to ours to encompass us in His love. God welcomes our tears. In fact, He cherishes them. In Psalm 56:8 David even says God puts our tears in His bottle. “You put my tears into your bottle. Are they not in your book?” David asks.

Why are tears precious to God? Why does the Bible picture God as keeping our tears in a bottle and making note of them in His book?

A Broken Heart

Weeping is often an outward sign of what is happening inwardly. When we cry, our heart is in the midst of breaking. It’s softening. Our control of the situation is at an end. The problem is bigger than we are. Our emotions are telling us we no longer have answers.

When we allow the tears to flow, the pain ripping at our hearts opens them up to a brokenness that can then be healed by the mighty hand of God – if we will let him. Psalm 34 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tears are sacred. They are the God-given gift to us that allows Him to prepare the soil of our hearts for His healing so we can receive more of Him and more of the gifts He wants to give us.

When we are walking through the valley, trying to hold on to hope, but knowing hope is only possible by giving our situation to God, many of us struggle to let go. Letting go does not come naturally. We want to hold on and figure things out for ourselves. When we finally do, for some of us letting go and surrendering our circumstances to God may be accompanied by tears as we finally give up trying to be in charge. When our hearts break in His presence, He will sit with us in our grief. He will comfort our hearts and put them back together so they can reflect the mystery of His perfect calling for our life.

Those Who Wept in the Bible

Time and again we read about characters of the Old and New Testaments shedding tears as they prayed and wept before God in anguish over their circumstances. They were not hot angry tears, but surrendering, heartbreaking tears. And when their hearts were surrendered to the Lord, God heard and answered their prayers.

  • The faithful King Hezekiah was given 15 more years to live (Isaiah 38:1-5).
  • Nehemiah was able to go and rebuild the wall of Jerusalem (Nehemiah 1:4 – 2:6).
  • David was protected from his enemies over and over again and went on to become the most celebrated king of Israel (Psalm 6:6-10, 39:12).
  • A sinful woman was forgiven of her many sins while she wept in repentance and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears (Luke 7:44-47).
  • Paul’s anguish and heartfelt tears resulted in God’s leading him with sensitivity in his writing of his letter to the Corinthians so the people could see his love rather than be grieved by his words of correction (2 Cor. 2:4)

Songs of Joy

God heals the brokenhearted. When our tears bring us into communion with God in prayer and we allow Him to come deeper into our hearts, He can transform that pain into something new. Our hearts become fresh clay that He can mold into a more compassionate, caring, and sensitive vessel He can fill with his love and purpose.

And perhaps that’s why the Bible also says, “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them (Psalm 126:5-6).

I love this image for in it I see a picture of ourselves when we are the brokenhearted. When we come to God, tears flowing and our hearts humbled and surrendered into God’s holy hands, our tears can water the softening soil of our hearts to produce blessings that only His love within us can produce. And with His blessings of love come the songs of joy.

Don’t be afraid of tears. When your heart is breaking, let the tears wash the pain from your heart so your heart is ready to experience God’s healing balm and the fullness of His amazing love.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise” (Psalm 51:17).

Think about this. If God’s love is using your tears to water the soil of your heart, what blessings might result from this?  What are the “sheaves” you will carry later on as you sing your songs of joy? I’d love to see your comments.

If you want to fight for your marriage, let me walk with you through the pages of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. There you will find practical help that can guide you toward reconciliation even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

 

 

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A Rock in Life’s Quakes

July 31, 2019 by Leave a Comment

By Michael Kmet

By Tina Yeager

With a bit of apprehension I offered my head to the hairstyling apprentice. She needed to practice, so I agreed to become the lab rat of her experiment. Few had seen the procedure and my outcome was difficult to predict. Bowls of gel mixtures littered the small table. Countless paint strokes surrounded me. After an hour, I resembled an alien with head of silver tentacles sprouting hair. A cosmic halo orbited my noggin, projecting heat onto the foils. An anxious flutter stirred in my belly, churning a bit of acid to rise into my throat.

It’s only hair, I told myself. No matter how this turns out, I will be okay.

This year brings a variety of changes for me, all more significant than the balayage venture (which proved less dramatic than I anticipated, by the way). We’ve moved away from the home in which we raised our kids. One son now lives over two hours away, while my youngest begins his doctoral program in another city. At the same time, I grieve the loss of my church family, and my career is undergoing a major transition. I’m not sure how the results will look, but a different world is shaping up around me.

Change shakes up our lives in a myriad of forms. It can often prove refreshing as some novelty brings joy. Hence the constant trend shifts in technology, fashion, and adventurous recreation. New movies rock. Hidden waterfalls delight the soul. Who doesn’t love a fresh outfit?

The transitions we don’t seek will occur, too, however. We age. People leave us. Security blankets blow away in one strong gust of calamity. Expected or not, certain life-upheavals rattle our roots from their comfortable places. From relocation to chronic health issues to grief, uncomfortable transitions stretch across differing levels of life’s Richter scale. They all begin with a similar emotion, as the first thing felt in an unwanted quake is loss. Pain screams to the forefront of human awareness, blocking other details from our perspective.

The amount of time it takes to recover varies with how deeply we’ve been impacted by the shifting circumstances around us. Change can feel like a seismic event, but the painful aftershocks will diminish and the dust of our disorientation will settle after a while. Even before opening  our eyes to survey the land, we know it has changed. We don’t need to look to acknowledge the change has affected us. Life shifted, and things are not as they were.

I cannot move on from a state of loss until I open my eyes and accept the new reality. I must survey the landscape to identify my resources. A strange realization dawns in the moment of clarity after the impact has subsided. Despite the change, all is not lost. My greatest resource remained with me even when I could not see Him.

In the tumult of life in this errant world, God remains steadfast. He never leaves us. His love gushes endlessly over us whether we sense it or not. Often, He brings our sweetest blessings in the times we feel most lost and alone. Regardless of the many transitions and losses we experience, God never changes.

As my maturing sons depart and I work and worship, landscapes transform; these changes occur on the temporary plane of my existence. Even if I lose all I hold dear, the Lord will sustain me with His precious loving presence to the end of mortality. And then, all be restored. Adonai, Whose every work surpasses excellence, revitalizes life with extra gobs of glory lavished on top. Eternity will gather my entire spiritual family to worship and serve together. Ultimately, nothing will be lost forever. I will be better than okay.

  “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deut. 31:6).

What changes are you experiencing today? Try offering a prayer of trust and praise with me. Choose to believe in God’s steadfast nature, despite the shuddering earth. Let’s cling with all our faith to the Rock in the midst of life’s quake.

By Tina Yeager, author of Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You

Beautiful Warrior: Finding Victory Over the Lies Formed Against You empowers women to break free from the traps of insecurity and sabotaging mindsets. As empowered warriors, women can raise their shields and become the divine heroines they were destined to become. With therapeutic tips, a solid biblical foundation, and empowering questions, women can free themselves from ongoing negative patterns, overcome common obstacles to healthy self-esteem, deepen awareness of Christ-centered identity, and embrace divine esteem.To connect with Tina, visit tinayeager.com.

 

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When Christmas Loses It’s Sparkle

December 13, 2018 by 2 Comments

CHRISTMAS IS COMING SOON. Bright lights sparkle on houses in your neighborhood. Joyous refrains stream throughout department stores and across the airwaves. Everywhere you see Christmas trees, Santa Clauses, and signs that say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. But for some of you, the words Merry Christmas have a hollow ring to them this year. Your heart is heavy with the idea of how you will even “get through” Christmas, let alone make it merry. Things are different this year. And it’s hard.

The Christmas we’re used to is full of sparkle and laughter. It’s always been a time of fun and celebration. But when gloom hangs over our lives and questions about the future occupy our minds, we may actually find it easier to peer more closely into the reality of the Christmas we celebrate. For when we put aside the glamor of the holidays, we can travel back to how it really all began—before the sparkle, before the happy music, before the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping.

There was hustle and bustle on that day, but not of people shopping; it was the descending of large numbers of people upon a small town, all trying to find the basic comforts of a place to stay and something to eat. We see a young woman, nine months pregnant riding a donkey. Can you imagine riding 80 miles on a donkey when you are nine months pregnant? And when she was ready to deliver her baby, who was the Son of the eternal God, she couldn’t even find a decent place to stay. Imagine having to deliver your baby in a smelly stable! And that is how God came to us – not in a convenient, clean, easy way, but through difficult circumstances. No warm, fine bed for Mary, the mother of God, no fragrant rooms, no support of family and friends who were far away and may have even questioned her virtue and the conception of this baby. No, God came to us in the midst of doubt, confusion, political unrest, and physical hardship. When God sent his Son to be born on this earth, he didn’t clear an easy path for him. He didn’t have a room waiting in Bethlehem. It was hard.

And, oftentimes, that is the way God still comes to us.  In the distractions of active lives, we are often too busy to notice God’s presence. We may have thought we had everything figured out ourselves – that we’d surely find a room in Bethlehem.  We never expected to have to stay in a smelly stable.  We still can’t figure out why things have turned out the way they have.

But, cradled on a bed of hay, in the middle of the odors and pain, we see a tiny baby, the gift of God’s love. It was the first time God was visible to mankind. And in the midst of the difficulties of your life, God has come to show you himself. It is sometimes only when these other things are stripped away that our eyes are fully opened and we see beyond the glitter into the glory where finally we see Christmas. Perhaps for the first time, the invisible God becomes visible in our eyes, and we see Jesus himself.

God has come to love you with a love you will not find anywhere else—not in a husband or wife, not a parent or a child or a friend. God’s love will not fail you. It is unconditional and everlasting. He will not always show you a clear, easy path to your destination. But He will be with you and guide you, and at just the right time, He may prompt the wife of an innkeeper to say, “I have a place for you. I have an answer. There’s a stable out back…”

His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are higher than ours. He has a plan that is beyond anything we can see. When we take hold of God, we move beyond the barriers of our finite understanding into the reaches of God’s eternal purposes. Eternity is within our grasp. We become a part of His story.

Two thousand years ago, Mary and Joseph didn’t hear the refrains of Silent Night as they gathered clean straw to make a bed for Mary to bear a child; they didn’t see the picturesque setting of a child being born in a manger as they settled down among the animals. It was hard.

But God came to them in the middle of these difficult circumstances, not just for them, but for us.  Jesus was born into our world and into our lives.  And this is the Christmas we celebrate…a Christmas born in hardship, but wrapped in holiness and love, extending through all the ages of the earth into the glories and wonders of eternity.

May God’s blessings shine through the midst of your circumstances this Christmas and give you a deep joy and peace that rises high above and beyond your understanding.

 

 

 

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Dear God I’m Desperate – Author Interview with Jeanne Le May

August 23, 2018 by Leave a Comment

DO YOU EVER WISH you could write a letter to God, telling Him your troubles, and then get a direct response back from Him with a specific answer to your particular concern? In Jeanne Le May’s new book, Dear God I’m Desperate–Women Have Issues, God Has Answers, Jeanne does just this. Each chapter begins with an honest and desperate letter to God, followed by an encouraging and scripturally based answer.

Today, I’m happy to be interviewing author Jeanne Le May to learn more about what readers can expect when reading her book.

Linda: What led you to write this book?

Jeanne:  My personal struggles in two broken marriages that ended in divorce prompted me to face the reality of my own desperation. Overusing prescription drugs to cope with my pain brought no relief.

Distraught and without hope, journaling became my heart’s constant cry to God. A pattern of communication developed, I’d pour out my raw emotions to God, and He would answer with loving kindness from His Word. No matter the circumstances, I could come to Him, and He would nurture, comfort and encourage my soul.

Soon, everywhere I turned, I observed other women also suffering with serious issues. I kept thinking God could help them, too—if only they would cry out to their loving Father. So I started writing letters to God on their behalf . . . and God answered.

Linda:  I love the idea of journaling. I found that so helpful too when I was separated from my husband. And journaling from God’s Word brings real answers. The subtitle of your book is Women Have Issues, God Has Answers. What are some examples of the issues you address in your book?

Jeanne: Dear God I’m Desperate includes difficult topics of universal interest to women that our culture and churches often tend to ignore for the sake of political correctness:

  • Divorce
  • Husbands addicted to pornography
  • Post-abortion heartache
  • Homosexuality
  • Depression
  • Abuse

This book creates a shame-free platform for discussion of all of our concerns—no issue is off limits.

Linda: What made you choose to use a letter format for the book?

Jeanne: The newspaper column Dear Abby provided inspiration—women wrote to her for decades seeking help. As Christians, however, our help comes from God Almighty, so why not write to Him and seek His Truth to guide us through our difficulties? He’s ready, willing, and able to help us when we humble ourselves before Him. He longs for us to admit that we’re struggling and trust Him with our relationships and circumstances. The letter format creates a personal connection with our heavenly Father.

Linda: How did you come up with the answers you give to each of these desperate cries for help?

Jeanne: That’s a great question, Linda. The answers are based on my 20 years of daily saturation in God’s Word. Every morning I pour my heart out to God about my concerns, questions, and heartaches and then search scriptures until the Holy Spirit reveals applicable truth. For the Dear God I’m Desperate letters, I identified problems other women face and used the same dialog process. James 1:5 outlines the principle on which these answers are based, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you.”  I ask—confident that God will answer—and He provides wisdom.

Linda: I see that you’ve created a fictional setting called Hysteria Lane, the home of all the characters in your book. How did you come up with that idea?

Jeanne: The stars on the TV program “Desperate Housewives” lived on Wisteria Lane; I always chuckled to myself that, with all the drama in their lives, they should live on Hysteria Lane. As I wrote Dear God I’m Desperate, that idea resurfaced. In order to tie the women together in their hearts and minds, I developed a community of women who live on Hysteria Lane.

Imagine four friends who live on Hysteria Lane gathering for coffee. Julie shares her tears as she recounts her devastating day in divorce court (Zach’s Final Lie). Danielle, recently widowed, explains her struggle with depression at the death of her lifelong husband (Withered Heart). Laurie reports her relief in ending chemotherapy and her further distress at the toll the treatments have taken on her depleted body, soul, and spirit (The Red Cocktail). Christina dares to admit her sorrow over the abortion of her precious Amy on the day that would have been her sixteenth birthday (Sweet Sixteen and Never Been Kissed.) Women sharing their hearts deepens their love and caring for one another. In their willingness to be vulnerable, the women find encouragement and hope as their friendships strengthen.

In Dear God I’m Desperate, God reveals His trustworthy promises to calm and heal their hearts.

Linda: Who will benefit from reading your book?

Jeanne: This book is intended for women struggling with everyday issues.

Women alone.

Women faced with shattered marriages.

Women plagued with depression.

Women distressed with doubts, confusion, and fears.

Women stunned by bad news.

Women overwhelmed with guilt.

Women brokenhearted by children.

Women abused.

One of my readers said in her review on Amazon, “This book is a very honest, straightforward description of real world problems faced by women of all walks of life. One may not identify with every issue, but you will find yourself in its pages. Not only will this book guide you to God’s word, it will provide the much needed comfort you seek when struggling with life today. It is both confident and tender in its guidance.”

Linda: In your book you refer to the concept of “Divine Exchange.” What do you mean by that?

Jeanne: “Divine Exchange” refers to a spiritual transaction that changes our lives.  When we bring our troubles to our Creator, He unburdens our hearts. For example, He exchanges despair for hope and replaces worry with peace. Faith in Him casts out fear. Dignity as daughters of the King displaces shame.

Linda: What do you hope women glean by reading your book?

Jeanne: Linda, it’s my desire that women develop intimacy with God our Father. In the book, after each chapter, space has been provided for readers to write their own heart’s cry to God. Then, scriptures may be applied to their personal issues. This format provides a model for their ongoing conversations with God where they can find hope, encouragement, and validation as God’s precious daughters and know they are not alone in their struggles.

Linda: What are your future goals?

Jeanne: I believe God has provided this book as a way for Him to allow me to speak to women’s hearts. Writing for me provides ministry for desperate women. Much of my time is also spent in speaking engagements. My closet contains 80 journals filled with personal dialogs with God. So however I can serve whether through writing or speaking, that’s what I want to do.

Linda: Where can readers find your book and learn more about you?

Jeanne: The book is available online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble & other booksellers.  Readers can visit my website, blog and Facebook page: jeannelemay@mac.com.  On September 14, 2018, I will be speaking in Daytona Beach, FL at the JOY conference sponsored by Glorious Living Ministries. The conference is free as is God’s love. For details, go to: glorious living.net, which also contains my bio.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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You Are Not Alone

April 19, 2018 by 2 Comments

When you feel your marriage beginning to crumble in crisis, fragments of unresolved issues, confusion, and pain can shatter your dreams and expectations for the life you thought you had. You feel all alone. You look around and see two camps of people: One camp with marriages intact, happily moving forward in their lives; the other camp with people who are divorced but apparently stable, moving past the hurts to find new dreams.

Two camps. Two choices. This is all you see.

And then some brave soul steps forward to share a true life experience of healing. They open their life to others to tell of deep, painful times in their marriage that God turned around in their life for good.

This happened the other day on my Facebook Page.  As I told of one marriage that was beginning to reconcile, other people jumped in to share their stories of how God had healed their marriages also. One after another, people emerged from the shadows of cyberspace to share a story of hope.

Others shared struggles they were still dealing with, and once again courageous souls jumped in to encourage them.

And many hurting people began to see they were not alone. There was a third camp—a third answer.

This is the beauty of Christian lives that are honest and vulnerable, allowing God to use the encouragement He has given them to encourage others. They show us a third option, something the world doesn’t see because most people want to put the hard times behind and not look back.

Through and beyond the stories of the honest and vulnerable, is a testimony of God’s wondrous power and love. God is our healer, and when we bring our brokenness to Him, He can bathe it in a healing balm that pulls everything together through the light He sheds into our darkness.

I’ve seen God do it in my own life, and now I’ve seen Him do it in many others as well. We are not alone. Others have walked this journey before us, and many have seen God breathe new life into marriages that appeared to have died slow and painful deaths.

We are not alone. We are never alone. Whether or not that courageous soul steps forth to speak to us of the hope they found for their marriage, God is by our side, waiting for us to come to Him, waiting for us to bring Him our pain and confusion so He can comfort us and lead us on a path into the light of His healing.

He wants to walk beside you on this journey. He holds hope in the palm of His hand. When you take His hand, you take hold of the hope of Jesus. You are not alone.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you can overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).

Do you have a story of hope? Are you struggling? Please share your own story by leaving a comment.

Listen to Marv and Linda’s story about their own three-year separation in a three-part series on Family Life Today as they both share from the heart about their separation and reconciliation.

If you want to reconcile a broken marriage, let me walk with you through the pages of my new award winning book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated to help you find hope. There you will find practical help that can guide you through the complexities so you can see how reconciliation is possible for you– even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

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Dealing with Loss

September 8, 2016 by Leave a Comment

2014-thanksgiving-in-north-carolina-057In the wee hours of Tuesday morning I sat beside our much-loved 15 year old Akita as he passed from this life. With grief flooding my heart, I prayed that he was entering into a Heaven where God promises that “the wolf will live with the lamb.” Although scripture doesn’t specifically say it, I interpret that to mean that our beloved pets will be there too.

I know God loves the animals for He even knows when “a sparrow falls.”  And I believe that only love could fashion the great variety of sizes, shapes, colors and mannerisms we see in the animals that inhabit our planet.  Isaiah 11:6-9 goes to great length talking about the animals that live on God’s holy mountain together.

So in my grief, I choose to believe that in God’s mercy our Clyde will have joined our other departed pets in Heaven, and that he is now the whole and healthy, frisky, mischievous dog we loved.  I only hope he and his dog friend Katie, who are now reunited, are not creating chaos in Heaven like they often did here on earth.  But perhaps God merely smiles and laughs at the pandemonium they bring to Heaven as a fleeting part of Heaven’s joyful welcoming party. For I can see them now, Clyde and Katie running all over Heaven together, free to investigate every smell, bark at every sound, chase every squirrel, and swim in every muddy creek. Perhaps, since it’s Heaven, they won’t even get dirty.

In my pain, though, I shuffle about the house still halfway expecting to see the rambunctious friend who followed either me or my husband up and down the staircase and barked at every sound on the street. I long to see the wagging tail when we arrive home or when Clyde padded into the kitchen drawn by the scent of dinner on the stove. I yearn for those big black penetrating eyes that stared into ours with great anticipation whenever certain words like “walk or “go” or “ready” crossed our lips. I miss reaching out my hand to stroke the soft velvet of his ears and even miss the strong tugging of the leash as he pulled me down the street when we took him for a walk. He was the strong, handsome dude who strutted around the block, head and ears erect with thick, luxuriant tail curled over his back.

And I grieve for the loving dog that snuggled between us on the bed, using my leg for his pillow.

I miss him. I miss the joy he brought to our home.

But what brings me back? What helps me cope? What helps me move beyond this difficult moment to the new chapter that lies beyond?

I thank God for the years of joy Clyde brought to our lives. I thank God for being in control, for being a good and faithful God and that all things beautiful come from Him.  I thank God that He has promised that weeping might last for the night but there is joy in the morning.

I thank God for love—for its wonder, mystery, and delight, knowing that God carves love and sorrow deep into our hearts, sometimes intertwined, to make room for a Love that is deeper and richer, a Love that will last forever, and the only Love truly wild and beautiful enough to fill the deep and lonely places in our hearts.

So while I continue to grieve for my handsome, smart and sometimes crazy dog, I thank God for His faithfulness in the past and His promises for the future. This hurting time will pass, and happy times will come again.

“The wolf will live with the lamb. The leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together, and the little child will lead them. The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together and the lion will eat straw like the ox. The infant will play near the hole of the cobra, and the young child put his hand into the viper’s nest. And they will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the Earth will be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.” Isaiah 11:6-9

  • Matt 10:29
  • James 1:17 and Eccl 3:11
  • Psalm 30:5
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Comfort for Those Who Mourn

June 16, 2016 by 2 Comments

13450981_10157037525275230_6249396271559987542_nIn the last few days, Orlando, my hometown, has suffered through horrendous tragedy and pain. It began last Friday when a young Christian singer, Christina Grimmie, a third place winner on The Voice in 2014, was murdered after a concert. It continued early on Sunday morning when a terrorist walked into a nightclub and mercilessly slaughtered 49 innocent people and wounded 53 others.  And a couple of days later, at a Disney resort, an alligator drug a two-year-old boy into the waters of a lagoon and drowned him to the horror of his parents who were helpless to save him.

The pain is palpable throughout The City Beautiful. Horrific tales of death like these should not happen—and certainly not all in one week.

How do we peek through the dark clouds that hover over our city to find hope?  Where is goodness and love and God in all of this? The people of Central Florida have come together in a beautiful way, from every walk of life, to support those who are suffering, and it has been a healing balm for the jagged wounds of a city. But where do we look to find meaning and purpose?

A Story from Laurie

A few weeks ago, a dear friend at church died of cancer after an eighteen-year battle with cancer. Laurie was surrounded with people praying for her healing, and during that time her faith never wavered. Whether she was to be healed in this life or the next, God was still on the throne of Laurie’s heart. She shared this hope frequently with others who were likewise fighting cancer, bringing encouragement and comfort to many. And at her funeral, death did not have the final word. Death had lost its sting.  Love and faith reigned supreme.

Throughout the time I knew Laurie, I’d been impressed with some of the devotionals she wrote and had continually encouraged her in her writing.  She journaled regularly, and after her home-going her husband shared a few of her entries with me.  As I thought of all that had happened here in Orlando over the past few days, one of her writings came to mind as a way that Laurie, although no longer present with us here, could reach out to those in their grief to offer comfort.

Because that’s what Laurie would have wanted to do—to offer comfort—just as she did so often for those who battled cancer during her eighteen-year battle.

And so I share her story here.

Comfort from an Empty Tomb by Laurie Travers

“Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb . . .” John 20:1

Almost thirty one years ago, on a sultry July morning, I followed Mary’s footsteps. . . .

My father had died suddenly two nights before of cardiac arrest—one week after his open heart surgery. I awoke on the morning of the funeral, feeling overwhelmed with grief. The pain of losing him seemed more than I could bear. I hurt physically.

It seemed there was no one in those early morning hours that could understand or comfort me. All I could think about was how I wanted to be near my Dad. With that thought, I dressed quickly, quietly snuck out of the house, and drove to the funeral home.

I was thankful no one was around so that I could just sit next to his closed casket and cry. There was something about being there that eased my pain a bit. But the reality of my being there alone, next to the casket of my father, also caused me to cry out to the Lord, who faithfully met me there in a way I shall never forget.

My Bible lay in my lap. Crying out for comfort, I opened it. In that precise moment, the Great Comforter caused my eyes to fall on these words from Luke 24:5:

“Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here. He has risen.”

My eyes welled up with so many tears that I could no longer see any other words on the page. I was overcome by the grace and love of a God who cared enough to meet my deepest need so wondrously. I realized there was no need to remain at an empty tomb. My heart was too filled with an indescribable joy that gently placed my deep hurt into the eternal perspective of Almighty God.

A Message of Comfort for This Time of Sorrow

In the next few weeks, many funerals will be held in this town; many tears will be shed. The senseless death of so many innocent young people has brought unbearable grief; many hearts are shattered in pain.

But over two thousand years ago, death was defeated by a man who shed the bonds of death, abandoned his tomb, and emerged a Victor.  His name is Jesus, and His love and grace is there for all of us.

In Laurie’s original journal entry, she ended with, “As we reach out to others in their pain, may we pray that the God of ALL comfort would meet them where they are with the hope and encouragement of His empty tomb.”

God has words of encouragement for each hurting soul during this time. If we look to Him and cry out to Him, He will bring us words of comfort as He did to Laurie. He wants to meet our deepest need, and He will when we cry out to Him.

The message of the empty tomb is there for all of us.

Christina Grimmie, the young woman who was killed on Friday, leaves us with a song to keep us strong during this difficult time. You can listen to it here.

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Filed Under: comfort, Grief, national concerns, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , ,

Interview with Susan B Mead, author of Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace

September 22, 2015 by 1 Comment

Susan Mead - Dancing with JesusSusan B. Mead knows about grief. In 2004 she lost her younger sister Bette to suicide, and four years later her 20 year-old son died from drugs and alcohol. Four years after that, her sister-in-law died of cancer. Then in 2013 her world was rocked once more while sitting in the grandstands at the Boston Marathon when the first bomb exploded across the street from her, thankfully sparing her cousin who was still running five minutes from the finish line. But in spite of these heart-rending events, Susan has learned that God is always present. In fact, Susan has learned that God can bring joy to you in the midst of your darkest times.

From Grief to Grace

Linda: What inspired you to write the book Dance with Jesus: From Grief to Grace?

Susan: I was doing the Bible Study, Experiencing God. One question asked what does God want you to do right now? I heard God say in that internal voice, “Sing My love song.” And I laughed out loud! Well, send me a bucket, God, because I can’t carry a tune without one and YOU know that!

Next, came that sweet internal voice whispering a question, “What’s in your hand? Use it.”

An ink pen was in my hand, so I brushed the workbook aside, pulled out a new journal and promptly put pen to paper. The words simply flowed onto paper. At 5:30 AM, as I put the pen down, I realized I had done what I felt God asked me to do – to sing His love song, only it was a written story instead of a song, telling how much He loved me despite the losses I had experienced.

Later that day, the first email I read was from SheSpeaks, the Proverbs 31 Ministries Speakers and Writers Conference. “WRITERS Conference? Really God? You want me to do something with this?” I thought. Okay. And so it began.

Linda: What are you trying to do through your book to help others with their grief?”

Susan: My purpose in Dance With Jesus is to help others with their grief by sharing the story of one who has walked through loss, as that is what I found I so desperately needed in the darkest days of my grief—seeing or reading about others who had experienced tragic loss, yet were living, out loud and in color, with the joy of the Lord evident in their lives.

Linda: I know the title of your book is Dance with Jesus: From Grief to Grace. What do those words “Dance with Jesus” mean to you?

Susan: In a dream, I literally SAW Jesus dance with my son, Kyle, on the morning of Kyle’s funeral. Jesus turned and pointed to me, saying, “This is to bring you great joy. I taught him (Kyle) how. I taught him how to dance.”

So to me, Dance with Jesus means JOY! The joy of being in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Overcoming the Pain

Linda: In the midst of this grief and chaos in your life how did God reveal Himself to you?

Susan: Oh, in so many ways.

As a child, my mother taught me that I am never alone. “Jesus is always with you. Hold His hand, sweetheart, He will hold yours too,” she wisely instructed. So I did and she was right. He does hold us.

My faith was transformed from knowing about God to truly knowing God after feeling a caress across my broken heart following my sister’s suicide. It brought calm into the chaos of life for me.

I had two beautiful dreams in which I saw Jesus dance with my son in one and my son in the presence of God in the other. Calm assurance those offered. Still does comfort me.

As my sister-in-law lay dying from cancer, prayers were said for her and her face transformed from ashy grey to a soft yellow glow. The light on her face filled the entire room with a soft warm glow as she radiated with the glory of God, literally from her deathbed. We saw the glory of God in that beautiful, life-giving moment. Death to us, eternal life for her.

Linda: What steps did you take that helped you overcome the pain and loss that you were going through? Were you able to come out victorious?

Susan: I looked to the story of OTHERS. If OTHERS could walk through grief, I could too. I read everything I could get my hands on about grief. My faith was strong and I leaned onto God. HEAVILY leaned onto Him. I dug into His beautiful Word in the Bible, to learn what He said about death, mourning, comfort, peace, joy and love to renew my mind-daily.

Linda: When you were going through grief, tell us more about how God lead you to a deep intimate connection with Him.

Susan: God was so precious to me in my grief. When He gave me a magnificent dream of His Son dancing with my son, I KNEW where Kyle was and that brought me such peace.

I felt pulled into the gracious arms of God as He held me close, slowly started to sway with me, and gently lead me step by step back into living once again. I call that stepping onto His toes, as He (Jesus) started teaching me a “new dance” step. Yep, I began to Dance with Jesus and moved from grief to grace.

Overcoming the Challenges

Linda: I love that. Tell me though, in the process of your healing, were there challenges and setbacks, if yes how did you overcome them?

Susan: My oldest son grieved. Oh how he grieved! I reached out to others to surround him and my husband with prayer. I was so broken and did not know how to tend to myself, so how could I even begin to know how to help them heal?

I had to learn that people grieve differently. I also had to let my husband and son grieve they way THEY needed to, not force them to grieve like I did. I had to choose to respect the way they needed to heal.

Many men do not discuss their feelings. I had to let them work through their grief themselves without requiring they confess every thought to me. (I would not have known what to do with it anyway as it was so very different from my grieving process.)

Four years after we lost Kyle, my husband’s sister called to let us know she had cancer. She came to stay with us for her last days. And she passed away exactly four years to the day from us losing Kyle.

That felt like a very heavy burden to me, so I prayed and asked God to pour His abundant grace on me to equip me to carry that load. He answered by letting me know He had given me ONE day to mourn instead of two.

Linda: What advice would you give to those going through similar situations as yours but don’t know what to do?

Susan: Look to the story of others for hope. If they can, so can you. Reach out to someone to hear their story to get hope for yourself. Look to the Word of God to see what He says about YOU, His child. Read what He says about death, mourning, comfort, peace, joy and love.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,” Psalm 30:11 New King James Version (NKJV)

“A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,” Ecclesiastes 3:4, (NIV)

“Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.” Jeremiah 31:13 (NIV)

“For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:30 (NKJV)

There are so many beautiful moments when God reveals Himself to us. Very often, they occur in our most fragile, broken state. When we look, HE is there with us, in all of His glory.

To your readers who are mourning a loss, I say: Are you looking for Him? Seeking His word to get to know Him, to see His holiness? Do you want to know Him? Do you know He wants to know you? Oh, how He wants to know you. He loves you. Eternally.

Linda: Great advice! So tell us what you have personally learned through all of this.

Susan: I learned God shines the brightest light in our darkest moments.

Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. (NIV)

Linda: Where can readers find your book, Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace?

Susan: Amazon bit.ly/DanceWithJesus

Linda: How can readers connect with you?

Susan: DanceWithJesus.com. I would love to share a 5-day prayer challenge to help them dig a little deeper into healing. And it’s free!

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Grief, Interviews, Pain, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

The Prodigals We Love

September 11, 2015 by 1 Comment

WALKING-MALEA couple of weeks ago, while sitting in church, I began thinking about the prodigals in our lives, those who are lost and walking apart from God. So often, despite our love, despite our longing to reach out to them, we seem unable to reach them—unable to touch their hearts.

In the midst of my musings, words of scripture crept into my thoughts and I heard the mournful words of Jesus in my head. “Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.” (Matt 23:37.)

Through His words, I saw the grieving face of Jesus as he reached out to his people, only to be rejected, and I realized how thoroughly Jesus understands our pain. Even Jesus experienced the pain of rejection from those He loved, His chosen ones. Even Jesus—God Himself, could not force individuals to come to Him and return His love.

But rejection did not stop Jesus from loving. At the time he spoke these words, he stood in the temple courts, facing suspicious questions and doubting stares, knowing that in a few short days He would lay down His life for these very people who turned their backs on Him.

You hear the emotions in His words that day. He was angry at the Pharisees, sad at the deadness of their hearts, distressed that, despite the love of the Father, the people continued in their willfulness, each person headstrong to go his own way instead of following God.

But in spite of his disappointment, Jesus’ love pressed through to do the Father’s will. For not long after He spoke these words, He willingly died to save the lost, including the very ones who persecuted him.

God does not force His love on any of us, but wants each person to choose to come to Him. Lovingly he waits, ready to receive the repentant one He cherishes.

Although our hearts are heavy and our minds anxious for our prodigals’ return, we too must wait. Even though we long to reach out to them with love, often they are resistant. In fact, pursuing them may actually drive them further away.

Ultimately, the other person has to choose.

But that doesn’t mean we must stop loving. As followers of Christ we are called to love as Jesus loved.

For those prodigals in our lives, we cannot make them return to God or to us, but with a sacrificial love, we can seek God on their behalf through prayer. In spite of rejection, we can humble ourselves to speak words of encouragement instead of shame. And as we sit at the feet of our Father and pour over His words to us in the Bible, we can learn more about how to love with the love He gives to us.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

Jesus speaking in the temple: Matthew 23: 13-39

Story of the Prodigal son: Luke 15: 11-32 Luke 15: 11-32

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Filed Under: disappointment, Divorce, Jesus, Love, Marital separation, Prayer, Prodigals, Reconciliation, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Carried by Grace: a Guide for Mothers of Victims of Sexual Abuse, Interview with Author Debra Butterfield

June 3, 2015 by Leave a Comment

Debra Butterfield, Carried by GraceCarried by Grace—what a beautiful title for a book and what wonderful peace this phrase brings to mind, in sharp contrast to the devastating implications of the subtitle. When we experience heartbreak, the best gift God can give is to carry us with his amazing grace. Although I hope not many of you have had to deal with a child being sexually abused, Debra’s book has much to share about experiencing God’s grace during a period of crisis. And if you do know someone whose child has been sexually abused, be sure to let them know about this book. Debra Butterfield is nonfiction editor for CrossRiver Media Group and a freelance editor and writing coach. Debra’s book, Carried by Grace: a Guide for Mothers of Victims of Sexual Abuse released in April and is available in print and on Kindle.

Linda: This is a tough topic, Debra, but sadly, I’m sure it’s one a number of mothers have had to deal with. Could you tell us a little about how you came to write Carried by Grace?

Debra: One night in the midst of a family argument, my daughter threatened suicide and subsequently was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. The next day my husband was arrested and charged with sexually abusing her. I was beyond devastated and felt so alone! I had a friend who encouraged me and was a prayer warrior for me, but there was no other mother who stepped forward and said “I’ve been where you are. Let me help.”

Because of the shame this crime carries with it, most people don’t want to admit it’s happened to them and ask for help. I wanted to provide a way for mothers to know they’re not alone, to help them know what to expect in their (and their child’s) journey to healing, and give them spiritual and practical steps to help.

Linda: What are two or three things you tell mothers to help them deal with this traumatic experience?

Debra: Keep your focus on Jesus and pray about everything.
Take care of yourself so you can stay physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.
Don’t try to do this alone. Utilize your support network.

The Need for Prayer Warriors

Linda: You mentioned your friend was a prayer warrior. Could you expound on that?

Debra: My biblical foundation for prayer warriors is Exodus 17:9-13. When the Israelites had gone to battle with the Amalekites, Moses, Aaron, and Hur stood on a hill nearby where they could view the battle. Moses prayed and whenever he held his hands up to the Lord, the Israelites prevailed in battle. When Moses dropped his hands, the Amalekites prevailed. Moses grew tired, so Aaron and Hur found a stone for Moses to sit on, and each stood on one side of Moses and supported his hands. And so Joshua and the Israelites defeated the Amalekites.

A crisis is not a time to be alone. Even Jesus during his night in the Garden of Gethsemane asked Peter and John to pray with him. When we face a crisis, we need others who will pray for us on a daily basis. Ideally you have two or three people of the same gender who know the exact circumstances you face. These people can then pray for and with you on a regular basis. They are there to offer a word of encouragement and strengthen you when your faith falters or when you’re depressed or tired and worn out from the battle.

Linda: What are the qualities of a good prayer warrior?

Debra: A good warrior needs to
• know the Bible well,
• understand the principles of prayer and spiritual warfare,
• be trustworthy, and
• be willing to commit time daily to pray for you and your family.

The Question of “Why?”

Linda: At some point in a crisis most people ask the question “Why has this happened?” Did you?

Debra: Most definitely! God is okay with us asking the question, but He doesn’t want us to get stuck there. Getting stuck opens the door to bitterness.

I believed Romans 8:28, and made the choice to trust God. I let go of asking Him why and started asking what He had for me to learn through the trial.

Over the years I’ve dug deeper into the “why?” dilemma, and God brought an answer from an unexpected place—mountaintop experiences.

At the time, I lived in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I had a magnificent, unobstructed view of Pikes Peak from the front deck of my house. When we’re at the top of the mountain, what a view! Miles and miles of God’s country to see. We’re separated from the noise and chaos of our daily lives and everything seems right with our little world. We never want to come down!

But living in a high altitude has its challenges. The air is thinner—fewer molecules of oxygen—so your body has to acclimate. In addition, very little grows on the mountaintop. The right conditions must exist for growth that aren’t there on top of that mountain.

I know it’s difficult for people to accept, but we grow and mature emotionally and spiritually through the difficulties we face in life. We find those conditions in the valley—our day-to-day lives—not on the mountaintop.

Imagine what would have happened to the Israelites if Moses had never come down from the mountain.

God has a purpose for us. He allows difficulties—a troubled marriage, a sick child, job loss—because He knows the ideal conditions needed for each of us as individuals to grow, learn, and accomplish His destiny for us.

Linda: If you could give someone only one piece of advice, what would that be?

Debra: That the true meaning of hope is to confidently expect.

In today’s society the word “hope” has become synonymous with “wish.” People say “I hope” but they have no true conviction or expectation that they’ll realize that hope.

The Bible is filled with promises from God and God is not a liar. If He lied, everything about His being would unravel. He would not be God, nor worthy of our faith and worship.

Trusting God is an act of faith. Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary tells us faith is (1) confidence or trust in a person or thing; (2) belief that is not based on proof. Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the confidence that what we expect to happen will happen.

Think of it this way. If you made a promise to someone and they said “I don’t believe you’ll keep your promise,” how would that make you feel?

When we have no hope in God and doubt His promises, we are insulting His character.

God is true to His word. We can trust Him. We can hope—confidently expect—Him to fulfill His promises, to answer our prayers, and to be in the midst of our troubles and help us through.

Linda: Where can people find the book?

Debra: Carried by Grace can be purchased from my publisher CrossRiver Media Group at http://www.crossrivermedia.com/bookstore/genres/non-fiction/carried-by-grace/ as well as the usual online bookstores. It’s also available on Kindle.

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Children, Grief, Interviews, Sexual abuse, spiritual warfare, Trusting God, Trying to understand Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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