Interview with Tara Royer Steele, Author of Eat. Pie. Love.

Words - Eat, Pie, LoveAS SUMMER ROLLS IN and the lockdowns from Covid begin to roll out, most of us are ready to take a deep refreshing breath, sit back, and experience some of life’s sweetness. Author Tara Royer Steele has just the recipe for us. As owner of her own nationally acclaimed bakery, Royers Pie Haven, she suggests  “1 dash of love + 1 heaping scoop of grace = life sweeter than pie.”

In her new devotional book, Eat. Pie. Love., Tara shares some of her delicious pie recipes and artwork while using the analogy of pie baking to remind us that our lives can become messy or unsavory, depending on the ingredients or choices we make. But when we trust the hands of our Creator, we can experience wholeness and the sweeter side to life. I’m pleased to give you a look into what her book has to offer through the following interview with her.

Linda: What gave you the idea to write Eat. Pie. Love.? Tell us why you decided to include recipes and your own artwork?

Tara: I never had the idea in my heart to write a book, but friends who were authors, others who walked alongside me through the hard times, and customers who saw how I had overcome hard things continually told me I should.  The idea of a devotional grew from little snippets I posted on social media.  In the mornings, during my quiet time, God would give me digital downloads from the music I was listening to, or what I had been reading. I would then turn that into a, “doodle” or illustration, and then write what God had laid on my heart.  Of course, being in the restaurant and pie business everyone wanted recipes!  It had been over 20 years since our family had put out a book.

Linda: Tell us how you see our lives as a parallel to pie baking and Jesus as the baker?

Tara: When we bake a pie, we combine the right ingredients to pour into the pie crust. We can’t just put flour into the crust, that wouldn’t taste great.  We must add the eggs, chocolate, sugar, butter, and vanilla too. When we pull it out of the fire it comes out smelling delightful, and looks beautiful. When we let God be our foundation, and Jesus fills us with the right ingredients, and through the refining, our lives can become beautiful masterpieces.

Linda: In your book, Eat. Pie. Love., you clarify the difference between a peacekeeper and peacemaker?  How does this apply to marriage and family?

Tara: I thought for the longest that keeping the peace was the way to be. I was wrong. I would try to keep peace between my brothers, or my parents, or my husband.  I would smooth things over, and try to make everyone happy, and that only lasted for a while. Soon, the struggle was back, and usually even larger. I could no longer keep putting a bandaid on things. My husband said that we can’t keep going like this, I can’t be in the middle of you and your family business.  You’re going to have to stand up and do hard things and set boundaries.  We have to work on the issues at hand, and like grown adults, come together and make peace.

The only way to run a successful family business is with open communication and a willingness to listen, lay down your selfish desires, and follow God’s lead for peace. I was weary, and once I decided that my family, our business, and my marriage were all what God had intended for my life, I was able to meet everyone where they were and come to the table with The Holy Spirit leading my words.

Linda: You are open about some of the messiness of your life including divorcing an abusive first husband and a short time of partying. What helped you realize you needed to make changes in yourself?

Tara: I knew that I needed to make a change, but I didn’t make the decision. God continually chased me. (I grew up in a Christian home) He pursued me, even when I wasn’t looking at Him. He never gave up on me. God grabbed me, and Jesus interrupted my life. I was dating several guys, having a good ‘ole time, not worrying about anything, even our family business. I really had come to my wits end. DONE. Wanted to just do me for awhile, this was back when online dating was just beginning, and I was on match.com. I sent a message to my future husband, Rick, and he responded the next morning. We chatted through instant messenger for a few weeks, and decided to meet.

The moment I saw him I knew he was the one. I had been searching, and searching for someone to love me, see me, and He did. Jesus reminded me that I have always loved you, and never left you. I mean, you can say the rest is history, we have been married for 15 years, and it feels like yesterday. It’s been the sweetest gift.

Linda:  What has your beautiful second marriage and motherhood taught you about God?

Tara:  My marriage to Rick has taught me that I am so loved, just as I am. In my brokenness. Rick has loved me through all the baggage. He never gave up on me. God is the same. There is nothing that I could do to escape His love. Surrendering my life to Him is the best choice I’ve ever made. God is the giver of all good. My two boys, Brayden (12), and Bentley (!0), are the sweetest treasure. They walk into a room, and all Berry piethe cares of the world are melted away.  hat is how much God loves me. He is so generous, patient, and forgiving.

Linda: One of my favorite scriptures is, “Be still and know that I am God,” (Psalm 46:10). What is the value in being still? How can we learn to trust the process of being still?

Tara: I am a doer, gooooo, goooo, goooo.  I always thought that the more I did, the more successful I’d be. A big ‘ole NO!! I picked up so many good things, but they weren’t HIS good. I didn’t realize this until so much later—actually it was through the writing process. Sitting with Him gave me the tools I needed to tackle the day.  nd, honestly, learning to just show up in love is what I learned was the best tool. I was always a planner and list maker. Yes, there are things that have to be done, but He’s already made a way.  I just need to show up and follow His lead and do the next right thing.

Linda: In what ways do we pour ingredients into our lives? What are some of the positive ingredients we should strive for?

Tara: We pour social media, to do lists, shopping, work, addictions,  striving for success into our lives, just to name a few. These things can be good for a bit. They soothe and comfort for a moment, but they don’t make things better. Pursuing quiet time with God through rest, praying, gardening, art, baking, or pursuing whatever gift He’s placed in your life and community are things we should pour into our lives.  These draw us closer to Him because we see Him in the details.

Linda: Where can we find out more about you, your book, and your delicious pies?

Tara: You can find more about me at tararoyersteele.com or social media @tararoyersteele or @royerspiehaven or @allthingsacres @royersroundtopcafe

woman in kitchen baking

 

Share

A Heart of Expectation

Hands lifted up

Photo by PH Diego

LAST WEEK WE TALKED ABOUT what hope looks like and how, even in the midst of troubled times when a happy ending seems unlikely, a heart of expectation can help us look beyond the temporal circumstances of here and now and capture a vision for the future.

But how do we do that? When things look hopeless and we see no happy ending for ourselves, how do we simply ignore the pain of the present to embrace the hope of the future?

How can we look into the face of adversity and have a heart of expectation?

A heart of expectation is birthed by immersing ourselves in the heart of God so our desires are transformed from temporary to eternal, to love what He loves, to cherish what He cherishes. God loves us and wants the best for us, but what we interpret to be the best may only be second best or third best . . . or not best at all. While we focus on what we think will make us “happy,” God may be focusing on what will bring us a lasting joy and fulfillment for all eternity. While we’re reaching out for one small peek through the bakery window, He may want to reward us with a trip inside to enjoy all the goodies we want for a lifetime.

Do we believe this? Do we believe that what God wants for us is truly better than what we want for us. Scripture tells us this is true. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” (NLT) But do we believe this?

The apostle Paul’s heart desire was to preach the gospel throughout the known world, but his hope was cut short when he was imprisoned in Rome and could only communicate with the churches through his letters. Did he have any idea his letters would ultimately be translated into every known language and become basic reading for centuries of believers?

What Paul did know is that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Paul was able to lay his circumstances at the feet of His Lord, do what He could by writing letters, and let God work out all the details. He had no idea what lay ahead in future generations. What seemed limited in scope at the time—a few letters written to encourage the churches—flourished into a foundational part of the New Testament—something beyond his wildest comprehension and imagination.

We too have treasures in store for us waiting to be revealed at a later time when we give our situations to God as an offering of love and faith. If we can lift our eyes above our circumstances and seek the Lord, He can give us a heart of expectation. We don’t know what will happen in the future—not just tomorrow, not just next year or ten years from now. But if we lay everything at His feet, He can do incredible things with what we give Him.

We may not ever see it in this life—like the heroes of faith in Chapter 11 of Hebrews, people of faith who never saw revealed what they hoped for, but people who will live forever as heroic figures in God’s heavenly realms.  We don’t know how the small seeds we plant by surrendering our situation to God might sprout into something that continues to multiply—even over centuries—to become part of God’s eternal plan in the lives of others. But with a heart of expectation, we will one day see all that he has purposed for us.

Lift your worries up to God and watch them diffuse in the light of His glory as He rains down on you visions of His eternal purposes. With a heart of expectation, your hope can translate into faith that God has a purpose for your pain to use for His glory in some incredible way that not only makes the pain worthwhile, but becomes something to celebrate in its contribution to the unfolding of God’s eternal plan.

Heaven’s angels may sing Hallelujah as they watch you surrender your pain, knowing God has a beautiful plan you can’t even imagine or comprehend.

And maybe that’s true hope, the kind of hope that not only melts away all fear, but will put joy in our hearts and a song on our lips each day of our lives throughout eternity.

If you’re going through serious marital struggles and need encouragement to find hope, let me walk beside you through the pages of my book, Broken Heart on Hold. Together we will seek the Light and find strength for the journey.

 

Share

When Your Mind is Muddled

woman working in the garden“HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).

A few days ago, my day seemed to hit one crash after another. First, I received a rejection from an editor I had really wanted to work with. Next, I found a minor medical problem wasn’t so minor after all and needed serious attention. Thirdly, I received a discouraging report about another problem that was escalating.

Why does bad news always seem to come in threes?

I felt muddled and scrambled in my mind. Disappointment mixed with questions and genuine concern thrashed around in my head. My emotions felt unsteady and troubled. Even my prayers felt shallow and inconsequential. “Where are you, God?”

Standing at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and felt drawn to the peace and quiet of my backyard where fern fluttered in the breeze and the greens of grass and other nearby plants beckoned.

Instinctively, the uneasiness within me led me to my gardening tools, where I picked up a shovel, donned my garden gloves and headed outdoors to work in the yard where I can always count on feeling God’s presence surrounding me in His creation.

The next day, although calmer, intermittent traces of anxiety continued to spike through my emotions.

So I sat at my computer and spent the day writing—an endeavor I love that takes my mind to new levels of God’s grace. By the end of the day I felt better, and thanked God for His continued presence, knowing that through all circumstances, “He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Through my yard work and my writing, I’d found two of the paths God had provided for me to find His peace.

How and why did this help?

When our minds are muddled and emotions unsettled, where do we go for peace? Ideally, going straight to the Bible and spending time in prayer steadies our hearts and minds and gives us perspective. That’s the best answer. But sometimes we first need to transition into a place of restoration where our hearts are more open to hear God’s voice.

Identifying calming influences in our lives that help us pull together our muddled emotions and become centered again is important for each of us. If we allow our emotions and agitated thoughts to have free reign, they can lead us away from God and into places we don’t want to go. But if we channel them into nurturing avenues God has wired into our DNA, we can enter into a more peaceful place.

Each of us is different. While for me, writing and working in the yard comforts my spirit, for you it might be an artistic endeavor like playing the piano, painting, or sculpting. Or perhaps working with your hands on a project in your workshop or car helps unravel the stress that holds your mind and spirit captive.  Maybe you have an athletic bent so that riding a bike, throwing a few hoops of basketball, or working out in the gym calms you.

One of the ways God gives us peace is through the gifts He gives us in our own DNA – gifts that mobilize us and inspire us to action. When we recognize positive activities that nurture our spirits and bring us peace, God can draw us to a place of rest where we are better able to hear His voice.

What is it for you that calms your spirit? What do you feel drawn to when your mind is muddled that lies within God’s boundaries of morality and goodness? What activities help you expel the tension that binds up your joy? If you don’t know, start by taking a walk in a park or an area rich with natural beauty. While we have diverse interests that calm us, God’s creation is a universal conduit He uses to bring healing to our spirits. So if we’re unsure of the gifts God has given us to bring peace, we can always start with nature.

God has created each of us to have diverse interests and talents. Discovering what they are can serve us well as we navigate a troubled world and the unpredictable ups and downs of life. As you submit to God’s nurturing hand in these activities, let them lead you back to Him. For it is in Him you’ll find the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7). And it is through Him that “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life (Psalm 23: 6).

What is your happy place?

What is an activity that calms you when your mind feels muddled?

If you need to find peace in the middle of a troubled marriage, I invite you to let me walk beside you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. It can be an encouraging friend to you as you walk this lonely journey.

Share

Strength for the Weary

I was on my third run to the drug store in two hours. This time it was to get batteries for the blood pressure monitor I had just bought during run #2. My husband had recently endured two lengthy hospital stays in the last three weeks, and we were both exhausted. The tests, the doctor’s appointments, the new routines that had to be followed, staying stocked up on the right food and drink, remaining observant about health issues. I had to remain vigilant, but it was wearing me out.

As I reached the stoplight at the end of my street, I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. “Help me, God, I’m so tired.”

Into my mind immediately came Isaiah 40:31. “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

As I finished reciting the verse, my spirit lifted. “Those who wait on the Lord” . . . . Yes, that’s what I needed right then. The Lord . . . renews my strength when I am weary. The words were so fitting. I felt like I was constantly running around, trying to help my husband, trying to remember everything I needed to do and everything he needed to do. But God was telling me when I wait on Him I “will run and not grow weary for He will renew my strength.” I repeated the verse over and over in my mind.  And as the scripture settled and took root in my spirit, I honestly didn’t feel as weary. I repeated the verse over and over in my mind as I took the last turn into the drug store. God was filling me up with His strength, and as He gave me His strength, He was renewing my strength.

Many of us feel weary right now. Maybe it’s not because of trying to help an ailing loved one, but because of continued lockdowns and the inability to go out and socialize with friends and family. You may be dealing with a shrinking budget because of shutdowns at work, or perhaps you’re trying to hold down a job while also trying to help your children do school from home. Maybe your marriage was already crumbling before the world was hit by Covid, and this situation is exacerbating the friction between you.

Or perhaps you’re actually one of those who are suffering from Covid yourself or have a friend or family member trying to recover from this frightful virus. Perhaps you live by yourself and the loneliness is descending like a cloud of darkness over your spirit.

Whatever the reason, too many of us are weary.

Right before Jesus was born, the world was weary too. The Bible says they lived in darkness.  Zechariah, the father of John the Baptist, looked forward to the coming of Christ as he spoke this prophecy at the birth of his son, who was to be the forerunner of the Messiah. “The rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace” (Luke 1:78-79).

In the darkness, God sent the Light of the World to shine into our lives to bring us hope and peace. God knew what was happening. God saw the hopelessness people were experiencing. God knew what was needed. And He sent us Jesus.

So yes we are weary. Yes, we’ve walked through a cloud of fear and uncertainly. Our normal lives have been disrupted. Even with a vaccine coming, we still don’t know how we will hold on.

But Christmas is coming. And it’s not just about the lights, the presents, and the music. It’s about the Christ child, who brought hope and salvation so we could turn our worlds around. No longer do we need to depend on the world to bring us joy. We only need to invite the Savior into our life and let Him settle there.  And each time we feel the weariness descend upon our hearts, we need to “wait upon the Lord.”  “He will renew [our] strength.” We will feel our hearts “mount up on wings like eagles. We will run and not be weary. We will walk and not faint.”

“Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, ‘’My way is hidden from the Lord, my cause is disregarded by my God’? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40: 27-31).

 

If you are weary from trying to reconcile a broken marriage, you can find hope and strength through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. In this book, as I walk with you through this difficult valley, I believe you will “renew your strength” for the journey ahead.

Share

God’s Faithfulness in Unstable Times

Guest Post by Mary Johnston

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” (Genesis 8:22).

How faithful is our God! This verse makes one burst forth in song. “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” seems perfectly appropriate.

One of God’s most comforting attributes is His faithfulness. We can rely on Him. One never doubts that autumn will follow summer, or that dawn follows the darkness of night. His reliability is second to none.

“God is not human, that He should lie, not a human being, that He should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19). This is one of the reasons His Word is so powerful and important.

At this time of instability, we can be strengthened to stand firmly on His faithfulness to fulfill His Word. This is not so with the ever-changing winds of the media, the craziness of the culture, or the fallibility of humanity in general.

We can rest in His faithfulness. Saint Augustine said it well, “You have made us for Yourself, O LORD, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”

Are you resting in His faithfulness? If not, please do … you’ll be glad you did.

Prayer –

Heavenly Father, we give thanks that we can count on Your unfailing love and flawless faithfulness. We believe You and Your Word. Help our unbelief. In Jesus’ Name.

 

 Mary Johnston serves at Global Hope Network Int’l (GHNI.org). GHNI helps transform some of the world’s poorest villages through potable water, food, and agricultural training, income generation, wellness practices, and education. Mary is engaged in staff care, editing of reports from Africa, Asia, and the Middle East, and writing a weekly devotional. Part of her work has included travel to Africa to work with children in orphanages. Previously, Mary was publisher and editor for Center Stage magazine in Orlando, Florida for 17 years.

If you are struggling with God’s faithfulness, and your marriage is part of the struggle, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, by me, (Linda W. Rooks), may calm and strengthen your hurting heart.

Listen to the hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness and worship God for His faithfulness and mercy.

 

Share

New Every Morning

Sunshine streamed through the bedroom window, bathing my bed in golden rays of light even before I opened my eyes.

Morning had come. It was a new day.

Even though I’d felt discouraged the day before, I had gone to bed that night by lifting the Lord up in praise, remembering that even in the darkness He could overcome. It’s certainly not something I did every time I felt disappointed and unhappy, but over the years I had learned there is power in praising God and remembering His goodness. And the worship service that morning had reminded me what a good God we have.

Now it was morning—a new opportunity to see prayers answered, a new opportunity to see hope rise up in the midst of ashes and disappointment.

Memories of a scripture, long ago remembered, drifted into my mind. Your compassions are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3)

Yes, it was a new morning, a new day.

“This is the day the Lord has made. I will be glad and rejoice in it,” says Psalm 118:24.

What a wonderful reminder that scripture is.

Morning is a gift to us, a new beginning. The sun comes out as a declaration of hope, claiming the promise of a new day.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail,” declares Lamentations 3:22-14. “They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “’The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”

Every morning God gives us a new beginning. Even if sorrows from the day before hover above our spirits, the morning brings a new opportunity to release them to the Healer of hearts.

Every morning is a new opportunity to see prayers answered and a new opportunity to wipe our slates clean by coming to God and seeking forgiveness. Each morning is a new day to invite our Savior to journey with us through the hours in front of us, leading us one step at a time and opening our eyes to new possibilities. Each morning is a new opportunity to open up our Bibles to see what God is saying to us for THIS day. It’s a new opportunity to serve Him and a new opportunity to find God in unexpected places as we wait on Him throughout the day.

We may not see the answers come that day either. But guess what? When we lay our head on the pillow that night and go to sleep, a few hours later we will awaken to a new morning–a new gift from God. And His compassions are new every morning.

What is God saying to you about today? Forget about yesterday. That is over. And don’t worry about  tomorrow, or it will rob you of today. Today is yours right now, and it will never come again. Enjoy the gift God has given you – the gift of today. Watch and wait for what He is doing in your life in the coming hours. The morning brings new opportunities. Celebrate by praising Him, using the power of prayer He has given you, and by serving Him as you love those who come into your path throughout the day.

Enjoy your gift—your gift of morning. It’s a precious gift from God.

If your heart needs healing in the midst of marital trauma, you will find hope and a friend to walk beside you in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

Share

You Are Loved

Sitting on the patio, I watched my dog Katie as she settled down into a patch of sunshine on the lawn.  She lifted her head and sniffed at the air, then rested her chin on one paw and closed her eyes. With one ear drooping in characteristic fashion and the sun gleaming on her red coat, she looked wonderfully content.

As I studied her, just laying there, no care in the world, I thought about how she served no real purpose in life. She was a sweet dog, but what did her life accomplish?

She was a life created by God simply because He decided He would create a demure, mild-tempered, but slightly neurotic dog with one floppy ear and one upright ear, who loved sniffing out as many smells as she could. God created Katie because He delighted in doing so—and He enjoyed her because she was his creation, just as he enjoyed the other living things he created. They may serve no deep purpose in the world, but if not, they weren’t meant to. They simply exist because they are God’s creation, and God enjoys His creations.

God’s delight in what He created is evident beginning in Genesis where it says: “God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.” (Genesis 1:25)

“It was good.”  God loves his creation.  Like the saying goes, “God doesn’t make no junk.”

As I continued watching Katie and contemplated this simple truth, I thought about myself and how I tend to feel that to be loved I must do something, I must perform, I must earn love.

And I realized this was just not true.

God loves us purely because we are His creation. God loves me simply because I am His. God loves you simply because YOU are His—not because of anything you have done or anything I have done or will do.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love” God declares in Jeremiah 31: 3

And the Psalmist says, “For the Lord takes delight in his people” (Psalm 149:4)

Over and over in the scriptures, we read of God’s love for us—His delight in us—even when we fail Him, even when we’re weak.

“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 36:7)

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”  (Zephaniah 3:17)

I imagine many times you probably feel like I did—that you must earn love, that you are unworthy of love unless you do something significant.  If so, take a minute to bask in the sunshine of God’s unfailing and everlasting love. Turn your eyes to heaven, and your heart to the One who delights in you simply because you are His. Enjoy loving the true lover of your soul.

He doesn’t love us because we perform.  He doesn’t stop loving us when we do something wrong.  He just loves us.  We are his creation.

***

Yes, God loves you despite what is happening with your marriage or other relationships. If you need encouragement, I invite you to check out my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.  It will be a friend to you whenever the circumstances of life are pulling you down.

Share

Thirteen Things We May Have Learned In Quarantine

Photo by Umit Bulut

Now that parts of the country are beginning to open up again, and before we move too fast to getting back to “normal,” perhaps it would be good to reflect on what we’ve learned during this time of quarantine.

Only few times in history has the entire world suffered through the same experience at the same time, but 2020 will long be remembered as a time when we all knew the fear and anxiety of a worldwide pandemic that arbitrarily claims lives. It will also be remembered as a time when we all were cloistered within our homes with few interactions with those outside our immediate family.

As tragic as this situation has been for many, I believe in every situation—good or bad, we have an opportunity to learn something that will grow us into stronger and better individuals.

So what have we learned during this quarantine?

  1. One of the happiest sights I’ve seen during this time of isolation are families strolling through the neighborhood, talking and laughing together. Moms and Dads and their kids are spending time with each other in large chunks of both quantity and quality time. It’s been an opportunity to get to know and enjoy the individuals living in our own house. Without the outside interference, the nuclear family is sharing new experiences together. Perhaps this time of quarantine has even created unique and special memories for our children.
  2. And how about the joy of spending time outside! With gyms closed, we’re learning to enjoy nature by running, walking, and biking instead of going to the gym. While in quarantine, I’ve been reading a book about having a healthier brain. In this book, author Timothy R. Jennings, M.D. sites studies, showing that spending time in nature provides multiple healthy benefits. Beyond that though, these studies also show that “exercise conducted outdoors rather than indoors appears to have a more robust heath benefit.” He goes on to cite research that shows how physical exercise conducted outdoors instead of indoors results in lower rates of depression, improvement in self-esteem and mood, as well as benefits in such things as heart rate, blood pressure, autonomic response and endocrine markers. Something to remember when gyms open up again and life resumes its usual pace.
  3. Learning to appreciate the luxury of going to the grocery store and finding anything we want on the shelves. Not every country has this luxury. Here in the U.S. we are so blessed as a nation in simply being able to go to the store, knowing we can find whatever we’re in the mood for. Having now gone through a time when many shelves were bare during the quarantine, let’s remember this lesson when we return to normal and be thankful for the many advantages we have in this country instead of dwelling on what we don’t have.
  4. Learning to appreciate our jobs and getting a paycheck. We might complain about them at times, but when they’re taken away from us, we realize how fortunate we truly are. We may not be as rich as some of our friends or someone we see on TV, but by having a job, we are able to support ourselves and our family.
  5. Since neighbors are the only people we really get to see, we are getting a chance to know them a little better – even if it’s only a social-distancing safe encounter. Continuing to foster these friendships with neighbors when the quarantine is over can strengthen our sense of community.
  6. Appreciating technology. This is a big one for me because I often complain about it. However, without the amazing advances of technology we would have no way to communicate with the outside world during this time of isolation. How thankful I am for it now so we are not completely shut off from friends and family who live apart from us.
  7. However, we are also learning that communicating through technology is not as satisfying as communicating with people in person. We have particularly found that online learning is not as successful as learning in the classroom. Seeing how many students struggle with classes, time management, and staying focused with distance learning, we realize more than ever the significance of a teacher’s role in a child’s learning experience. Having a real live, present teacher to interact with and respond to is so much more rewarding than staring at a computer screen even if there’s a talking head on the other end. I think we’ve learned that we are social creatures after all.
  8. Because of fewer visits to the grocery store, some of us may be learning to do a better job of conserving food and using leftovers. Knowing I can’t immediately go to the store to replenish ingredients makes me stretch the food I already have so it lasts longer. A recent study of the habits of 2,000 Americans showed that the average American wastes 103 pounds of food per year. Perhaps being quarantined has helped us learn to manage our food more carefully, frugally, and creatively.
  9. For those of us who are a little more industrious, we may be celebrating the chance to use the extra time to clean out closets or drawers or even our garage. (My hand is going up here.) Having to stay home has provided a good opportunity to finish up projects or start one we’ve had to put off because of our usual busyness.
  10. We may also be realizing the importance of validating elderly parents and grandparents with our visits. One of the saddest things for me during this season of COVID 19 is seeing those in nursing homes and assisted living facilities living in isolation without visits from family and friends or even congregating together for meals and activities. Remembering my own mother when she lived in a nursing home for a time, I know how important my daily visits were to her. I can’t imagine her mental and emotional health could have survived months of isolation. My prayer is that those who care for the elderly in these facilities will soon be given plans to bring relief to the loneliness of their charges. I pray also that each of us will value our elderly relatives more than ever and shower them with our love and attention when things return to normal.
  11. Children have learned things too. During the quarantine, they’ve been able to use their free time to rediscover the fun of imaginative play and creative ventures like building forts, playing make believe, making crafts, or reading books for pleasure and discovering board games and puzzles with family.
  12. And, of course, we’ve learned the importance of  washing our hands for 20 seconds on a regular basis. Because it’s hard to tick off the seconds correctly, I recently learned that singing the Doxology while washing your hands is a good reminder of how to measure the time. It’s also a good reminder to continually lift our voices in praise to our loving Father throughout the day. Here’s a quick reminder of the words: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.” If you just read that, it should have been a 20 second read! You might remember that next time you wash your hands.
  13. And this brings us to perhaps the most significant question many of us have dealt with during this time—the question of our mortality. As we’ve watched the COVID 19 death toll rising each day, we realize death is a part of life. Our own mortality stares us in the face each time the news reports peel off the new statistics. Because of this, we’re perhaps more aware of the finiteness of life, our limited time on earth, and the frailty of our individual lives. Prayer and thoughts of God and eternity may hover a little longer in our minds. We indeed are finite creatures, small in the context of a larger universe. But this needn’t bring fear when we open our hearts and minds to the sovereignty of a God who loves us and designed us to be in fellowship and relationship with Him. He has a plan for us, a future for us, and when we submit ourselves to His love, our lives can become richer and fuller as we walk toward the eternity He prepared for us through the gift of His son.

In each event of life—both good and bad—I see the truth of God’s promise in Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” I believe that this is even true in the days of COVID 19. In spite of the difficulties of this time, God can use it for our good and His purposes when we come to Him with open hearts and minds.

What have you learned in quarantine? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

If this quarantine has been strained because of a marriage in trouble, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated might help you take the next best step.

Share

Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, Interview with Author Rebecca Carpenter

As I begin this interview with author Rebecca Carpenter, over 68,000 people are reported to have died from Covid 19 in the United States and over 259,000 throughout the world. The subject of dying is not far from our minds. But for some of us the subject is far too personal. Loved ones have died, and whether or not they died from Covid 19 or another cause, they have been taken from us. We grieve for them.

When Rebecca Carpenter’s husband died six years ago, she grieved also, but in the midst of her grief God brought a comfort to her she didn’t expect. Her book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, has brought comfort and solace to many, and I pray it can also comfort some of you who have lost loved ones.

Linda: Rebecca, what prompted you to write a book on grief?  

Rebecca: I certainly didn’t plan to write a book about grief. For years, I wrote devotionals about nature and articles for my church, magazines, and anthologies. Sometimes I sent emails of my work and printed out stories for friends. When people commented that they enjoyed reading my writings, my son set up a blog for me.

After I retired, I spent hours on my patio watching wildlife and getting ideas for my devotionals. My husband Alan and I traveled around the world so I also wrote about our trips. He constantly encouraged me to write. My parents often told me how much they liked what I wrote.

Difficult situations changed my life. Mother’s health deteriorated. Leukemia, diabetes, and other health issues curtailed her normally active life.

Not long after that, Alan learned he had idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. For a while his symptoms were mild. But they increased and our traveling stopped. Even normal daily activities wore him out. Except for doctor visits, he stayed home.

While I dealt with both of them, my dad’s health also declined. For years, he fought to regain strength after heart surgeries, knee surgeries, cancer and multiple other health problems. But when constantly visiting my mom in the nursing home, he had multiple strokes and never fully recovered from the major ones.

My life consisted of caring for Alan and taking care of financial and health matters for my parents. Stress joined me every day. Writing provided a release for my pain and grief at knowing I was losing them.

Within eleven months, all three passed away. Writing every day helped me deal with my losses. When I shared my writings, friends told me to put my devotionals into a book.

At first I resisted because writing a book seemed overwhelming.  But over and over, I heard I should do it. Finally, I felt God telling me the book would help others who were grieving. Only then did I realize I had to do it and God would help me.

Since Alan, mom and dad had encouraged me to write, I felt a book on grief would be a tribute to them.

Linda: Why did you choose the title Ambushed by Glory in My Grief? 

When I was mourning the loss of my husband, my mom, and my dad, God often showed up in wonderful but unexpected ways. 

At times, I felt foggy and unfocused. Just when I thought I was handling grief well, a memory, song or situation threw me back into sadness and tears. It helped just to discover my feelings were normal, which I learned by attending Griefshare, a Christian support group for people who are grieving. At Griefshare, I learned grief ambushed me.

When I shared my writings and my need for a title in my writers critique group at Word Weavers International, one of my fellow writers suggested this title. It was perfect.

Linda: Does your book cover represent anything special?

Rebecca: Yes, it does. With God ambushing me over and over with surprises of His glory, I wanted to show light with the darkness. I used a picture of sunrise over my lake.

The lake calms me and constantly provides beauty and lessons from His creation. Sunrises, eagles in the trees, ducks on the lake, flowers of all kinds are a few examples. I feel blessed every time I look out over the lake and know God is with me through all kinds of circumstances. I wanted my book to show that even in dark times, Jesus shows up as the Light.

Linda: How did Alan’s illness affect your marriage?

Rebecca: We had only been married three years when he received his diagnosis. However, we dated for seven years before our marriage, which was the year we both retired.

Because we both had been single for a long time, we didn’t jump into marriage again quickly. I had been single for sixteen years and he was single for twenty-six. When we finally married, we looked at things differently than we would have as youngsters. Although both of us had our own ideas of how to do things, a sense of humor helped prevent major struggles.

We enjoyed working together, traveling and going on mission trips. He always looked out for me and took care of chores I had been used to doing myself as a single parent. I felt pampered. I loved doing things for him too.

After our last mission trip, he felt worse. When we visited his doctor, Alan shocked me by asking the doctor how long he had to live. Although I knew he was more fatigued, I didn’t want to admit the terminal disease was taking his life. Our time together was supposed to be much longer.

The doctor said, “Six months.”

I could hardly breathe. Somehow, I made it to the car and picked Alan up from a wheelchair in front of the building. I had become his caregiver. No longer could he take care of me like I was used to. I hated the role reversal and so did he.

When we got home, he called hospice and they came out that day. He began his journey of dying with a purpose. On a legal sized paper, he wrote a long list of items to accomplish for his limited time. Most of what he wrote benefited me. He wanted to make life easier for me before he died and after he was gone.

Every day, I think of how much he loved me and showed it by using his limited energy for tasks like making phone calls to insurance companies, buying a new car and bike for me, and giving away some of his clothes.

There was sadness during his final months, but our love for each other pushed it to the side. We wanted to make the most of every day. We didn’t argue or complain but enjoyed being together.

Unfortunately, the doctor was wrong. Alan only lived two months longer and not six.

Linda: It sounds like Alan did indeed take care of you, even in those months before he died. Since that time, how has publishing your book changed your life?

Rebecca: Frequently, I hear from people who have read my book and have been encouraged. There is a ripple effect as they give my book to others who are grieving. People open up to me in their pain because they know I understand.

I feel compassion in a new way for those with losses. My heart hurts for them. Because I have been comforted, I can do the same for them. I ask God each day to show me who I can help and frequently, it is someone who is grieving.

Linda: Have you finished grieving after six years?

Rebecca: No. However, the grief is less intense and more like an ache instead of a sharp pain. Ambushes still occur but less frequently. Last year on Alan’s birthday, I cried easily for two days. The year before I didn’t cry at all. I have learned grief is unpredictable but so are the wonderful ambushes of God. He has been with me through the entire process and enables me to reach out to others who are grieving.

Linda: Where can people find your book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, and how can they find your blog?

Rebecca: People can find my book on Amazon in both print and kindle formats and also in some local Christian bookstores. I’d love to have people visit me on my blog at http://rebeccacarpenter.blogspot.com

 

Share

Crying Out to God in Distress

Photo by Ben White

Often as an author, when I get e-mails from readers, I hear stories of devastation, where not only a person’s marriage is in shambles, but a child is rebelling, a house is in foreclosure, jobs have been lost, a mother is dying, and more.  Crisis seems to come in clusters.  One misfortune would certainly be enough for any person to handle, yet many times catastrophe piles on top of calamity until a person can scarcely breathe—crushed beneath the weight of disaster.

Some of you may feel like this now. In the middle of this pandemic, sickness threatens in every corner of the globe bringing fear about everything you touch. But even if you’re able to keep that monster at bay, your finances may be drying up; debtors call on the phone and you try to decide between paying a bill and buying food. In addition, perhaps in an already stressed family situation your brain has begun to feel like it’s about to explode in the close quarters of your living space.

The fear and anxiety is mounting to an unprecedented level, and you simply don’t know where to turn.

Psalms 107 recites story after story of people in dire distress who came to the end of their rope. Some were wanderers with no place to live and nothing to eat and drink, some were in prison, some were suffering addictive behavior, some traveled on the seas in ships during a tempest. And in each situation, they came to the end of their ropes when they saw no hope. But when they came to this point, The Bible says, “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.”  Psalm 107:6

They couldn’t stand it any longer, and they cried out to the Lord in their trouble. I’ve been there. I’ve felt like that. I can feel that cry! Can’t you? A cry that comes from deep within the soul. A cry that says I can’t do this anymore. A cry of desperation. A cry of deep pain.

Just as in those emails I get, you may be in this place too. With the world collapsing around you, you may be crying out to God for answers.

Why does this happen though?  Why does a loving God allow the problems to accumulate, hit all at the same time, and the pain to grow until we feel utterly helpless to deal with what is happening in our lives?  Has He no mercy?  When is enough enough?

C.S. Lewis in his book, The Problem of Pain, says, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.  It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Often it is only when we are suffocating beneath the load of crisis that we truly come to a place where we cry out to Him and are willing to surrender our wrestling wills to Him. After one attack occurs, we may be in the process of looking for help. We think about praying. Maybe we do. Maybe we bow our heads in prayer and ask God to solve the dilemma. But when the problems begin to pile up, we feel paralyzed.  There is nowhere to turn. God becomes our only hope.  Even then we doubt and wonder, and only by God’s grace do we hold on.

It’s hard, but we have no place else to go. Our hearts melt in helplessness, and we hold onto God.

As our dependence on Him grows, roots begin to take hold in the soil of our souls.  We go deeper.  What began as only a temporary surrender, stays longer. Our characteristic tendency to recover quickly and then forget the God who brought us out of calamity dissipates as He keeps us longer in our place of dependence and strengthens our weak knees. When we have finally recovered, we will stand with confidence and new resilience and be transformed into more of what God called us to become.

And perhaps we will be ready to listen to what He wants to say to us. Perhaps we will hear His voice when he attempts to steer us in new directions. Perhaps we will be more willing to look into ourselves to see what changes He might want us to make.

There’s no more wonderful feeling than knowing God has heard your cry and delivered you from your distress. The hard part is coming to that place of surrender when you truly “cry out” to the Lord instead of stewing in the trouble.

Remember, what Satan means for your destruction, God means for your good.  Remember to call on His name! And stay with Him. Wait on Him. Wait to see the deliverance of your God.

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted is available now.

Share
Return to top of page · Copyright © 2024 Linda Rooks All Rights Reserved · Return to Linda Rooks