Getting to Know God’s Heart—Interview with Patty Mason

Book cover for Gettng to Know God's HeartIN ANY LOVE RELATIONSHIP, getting to know the other person’s heart draws us closer to them and creates a more intimate relationship. The same is true of God. If we know His heart, we will better understand what is important to Him. But how do we get to know God’s heart? In Getting to Know God’s Heart, author Patty Mason has created a beautiful Bible study that presents a seamless picture of God’s love as she weaves her own spiritual pilgrimage into the scriptural story of our heavenly Father’s love for us. Her Bible study invites the reader to personally experience God’s love in a more intimate way. Because of Patty’s warm and transparent style, this encouraging book is a resource I will regularly recommend to those going through troubling times.

Linda: Patty, what prompted you to begin seeking God’s heart?

 Patty: While battling depression, I watched a friend, who had more problems than I could count, go through life with joy. “How did she do it?” I wondered. How could she exhibit joy when she was left to care for her sick mother while her workaholic husband left her to raise four children on her own.

In comparison, my life was grand, yet she had peace and joy. God was her Rock, the one she clung to, and she spoke of Him with passion. God was not my favorite topic of conversation.

I could think of twenty other topics I would rather discuss. So I resisted, even though her enthusiasm for God caught my attention.

Linda: If her enthusiasm caught your attention, why did you hesitate? 

 Patty: Many things can keep us from wanting to know God.  I hesitated because I associated God with church and religion. To me church felt fickle and phony—reserved for the well-mannered, well-respected, and well-dressed. The church was not filled with people who knew how to love well, so I concluded God would treat me the way they did.

It’s sad to me now how we can embrace a false view of God based on how people treat us. God designed earthly relationships to serve as examples and reminders of His love for us, but if we’ve been harmed through human relationship, it can be difficult to receive God’s love.

When we’re going through something very hard, it’s easy to question God’s heart and begin to wonder, “Does God see? Does He even care?”

For thirty-six years, I had no idea how much God loved me and longed to have a relationship with me. I knew facts about God. I believed Jesus died on the cross, but I didn’t understand the depth of His love demonstrated upon that cross.

Linda: What led you to set aside your beliefs and seek God’s heart?

 Patty: Sheer desperation. I wanted the peace and joy my friend had, but until I became desperate, I wasn’t willing to pursue it. I needed healing. All the screaming, crying, and fits of rage were destroying my family and my life. Consuming alcohol to cope numbed the pain but fixed nothing. And when no one I turned to could help me, I was out of options.

I saw that amid her problems, my friend carried a joy and peace that was foreign to me. She seemed to know something I didn’t. So, when life became more than I could handle, I finally cried out to God.

Linda: What happened? How did God respond? 

 Patty: The day I was planning to take my life, God intervened. After years of battling depression, Jesus saved me, and His healing touch caused my heart to swing wide open. Suddenly, I wanted to know God. And this desire to know Him took me on a life-changing journey.

Linda: How did knowing God’s heart change your life?

 Patty: As a believer, I understood “how” God saved us, what I didn’t understand was “why” He saved us. In all those years of growing up in church, going through the motions of religion, I never saw the passion of God’s heart. I didn’t understand what He was after or how the healing balm of His love could set me free from deep wounds and rejection.

Getting to know God’s heart changed me because it changed my perspective of God, myself, and those around me. Seeing His heart for me filled me with a love for Him and others. As it says in 1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

Jesus came to set the captives free, and when we know God’s heart for us, that understanding can set us free from sin, wounds, addictions, temptations, and past hurts.

Linda: What led you to write Getting to Know God’s Heart? And what do you hope people will gain from reading it?

Patty: The one thing I want people to know is: The greatest desire of God’s heart is you! He longs for you. What He wants most is you—all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is what my friend knew about God. She knew she was passionately loved by the Almighty God of the Universe and that understanding awakened her soul. She knew, no matter what she faced in life, His heart was for her, and it gave her peace.

This is what my friend wanted for me. She wanted to help me recognize the one thing that would change my life—an awareness of God’s love. This is why I wrote the book, and what I want for those who read it to receive. Above all else, no matter who they are or what they are going through, God loves them passionately and cares about them deeply.

Linda: What made you decide to use a Bible study format rather than just a regular chapter book?

Patty: It’s vital we see God’s heart through His word, not through the commentary of the author.

Much of our inner pain comes from not knowing God. And I wanted the reader to have the thrill of discovering His heart for them through the intimacy of His word.

Linda: What would you say to someone who is having trouble receiving God’s heart for them?

 Patty: Perhaps, like me, you have experienced setbacks in your pursuit of God. But don’t allow those obstacles to define God’s character or your relationship with Him. Regardless of what has held you back, be encouraged. God’s unyielding love will not give up on you. He knows you. He sees you, and He will not stop in His relentless pursuit of you.

So, allow me to challenge you to let go of any pain, false beliefs, or expectations, and pursue the heart of God and allow Him to capture you with the wonders of His love.

This is a choice. You can hold onto grudges, bitterness, and hurt. You can keep your current perspective and remain stuck. You can continue to strive and struggle, convinced God is only interested in your performance. Or you can lay all that aside and discover a love so profound it will set you free, fill you with love, and give you identity and purpose.

Linda: Patty, thank you for writing this beautiful, life changing book. Where can people find out more about your book, Getting to Know God’s Heart as well as your ministry and other books?

 Patty: To learn more, they can visit www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com

I would also like to invite them to join me on our FB group Quick & Easy Bible Studies for Women at www.facebook.com/groups/quickandeasybiblestudies

 

 

Share

If My Words Abide in You

Open Bible with glasses lying on topIT’S SO INTERESTING TO ME that the more we allow God’s Word to abide within us, the more we begin to understand His words.  I remember a time when I thought, “Well, I’ve read through the Bible, and I’ve even read these books of the New Testament two or three times. I know what they say.”

I wondered why it was important for me to read them again . . . and again … and again, reading the Bible over and over each day throughout my life as a Christian.

But one day recently, after having spent considerably more time in the Bible, I found myself talking to someone and words of scripture were coming off my tongue as I tried to encourage her. And in my prayers I found myself praying with words of scripture.

All of a sudden I realized, this is what it means when Jesus says, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7). He truly, honestly wants His words to actually live in us so they roll off our tongues in prayer and in encouragement to others. He wants us to become so immersed in His Word that His words automatically come to our minds when we are worried or in fear. He wants us to read His Word over and over until His words are pressed into our soul and minds.

I remember at various times in the past hearing someone praying whose petitions were punctuated with words from scripture. Their prayers were powerful and I could feel the Spirit of God as they prayed. So as I pondered this new truth God was revealing to me, I realized one of the reasons these people’s prayers were so powerful is that they have the Word of God living within them. They have become so familiar with God’s Word that the Spirit enables them to call it up when they need it.

In addition, over the years, prayer warriors I’ve known have impressed upon me the power of praying scripture back to God. I have even written about this because I’ve experienced the truth of it. Finding a scripture that pertains to our need and praying it back to God adds a powerful dimension to our prayers. Prayers are more powerful when we repeat God’s Word back to Him.

So the question becomes, how does this happen? How do we get to the place where God’s Word is “abiding” in us so we can recall it when we need it?

Some people recommend scripture memory. Memorizing basic passages like Psalm 23, John 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 10:13 can deposit important truths into our spiritual bank account so they are readily available when needed. For me, however, whenever I attempted to memorize Bible verses or passages out of context, I felt like a dismal failure. While I might remember the first couple of verses, the endeavor seemed a bit too cerebral for me to put my heart into it

Now I think – was memorizing scripture the answer or is there more?

While memorizing scripture is a valuable spiritual exercise and plants life-giving truths into our minds for later reference, I believe there’s an even deeper dimension to this. When we regularly read the Bible for ourselves on a daily basis, soaking up God’s truth, we will gradually absorb God’s Word into our hearts and minds so that it lives within us. We can underline favorite verses or passages that stand out to us so we can go back later and be reminded of truths God has previously highlighted for us in the context of His larger message. Gradually, His words weave themselves into our thinking.

It’s a matter of just spending time with God each day—in prayer and in His Word, calling on Jesus to open our minds and hearts to enjoy a deeper experience with Him. Not only will our understanding of God’s ways become more meaningful, but our prayers will become more powerful. Then we will understand what it means when He says to us, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7).

If you’re in the midst of heartache because of marital troubles, I’d like to share with you my own discoveries of how God can use this time to take you deeper into Him. You will find this and more in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

Share

5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

  • God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of  connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

  • God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was Cover for book, Finding Hope in Crisiscoming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

  • God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

  • God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

  • God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Photo of Grace Fox

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

 

Share

Change Me First, Then Heal My Marriage

EACH YEAR DURING OUR CRISIS MARRIAGE CLASSES, participants from former years come to share their stories. One year, after we had dismissed to our small groups, I asked the women what they wanted to see happen in the coming weeks of class. One woman said, “I’ve seen all these couples come and tell us how their marriages have been restored, and one thing every one of them has said is that God changed them first, and then He healed their marriage. So I want to see how God wants to change me.”

Her perceptive comment impressed me greatly. And in the following weeks, I saw her listen to every word, ponder every idea, question what she didn’t understand, and own her mistakes as God opened her eyes to see them. Throughout our time together, she readily allowed God to make changes in her. Although her husband had initially said he wanted a divorce and had no interest in reconciling, a year later he decided to come to the class also, and their marriage was restored.

Change? What Me?

When crisis tears a marriage apart, something in the marriage is broken, and change is needed. Most people agree, but believe the change needs to happen in THE OTHER PERSON. And once they realize they can’t control or change their spouse, they believe the situation is hopeless.

But there is one person you do have control over. There is one person you can change. And that is YOU. Instead of focusing on your spouse’s faults and their contributions to the problems in your marriage, focus on your own.

Often we have blind spots when it comes to our own deficiencies, and we just don’t see them.  They are hidden from our eyes, buried beneath our personal assumptions, generational patterns of behavior, personal pride, and accumulated life experiences.  Scripture addresses this truth in Luke 6:42.

“how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself DO NOT SEE the plank that is in your own eye? . . . First remove the plank from your own eye, and THEN YOU WILL SEE CLEARLY to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye.” (Emphasis added.)

How Do We Start?

So it all begins with you and your heavenly Father as you trust him to show you the truths about yourself. If you are willing to let God take you down a path of change, you may be surprised at the revelations He will show you on your journey. As you peer into the mirror of God’s Word with a humble spirit, one by one you may begin to see shortcomings in your own life that need change. These may include projected assumptions from past wounds that still need healing, negative approaches in your communication, reactions you have that demonstrate unhealthy attitudes, or ingrained outlooks or mindsets that are contrary to what pleases God.

By spending time in prayer, reading the Bible, listening to Christian radio and podcasts, reading Christian books and articles, and talking with Christian friends, the Lord can reveal to you your part in the marital breakdown and help you make changes that may eventually restore your relationship.

One thing to keep in mind, however, is that your intention is not to modify your behavior just to please your spouse, but to transform yourself into the person God created you to be.

God has plans for you. His desire is to draw you ever closer to Himself and grow you into a new and stronger person. You are His precious child, and a marital crisis may be the vehicle He uses to refine you into the person He first envisioned you to be.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:12).

To learn more about some of the changes you can make that will impact your marriage and potentially turn your marriage around, you can find help for a troubled marriage in my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

Share

Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart – Interview with Author, Julie K. Gillies

When I asked Julie Gillies if she wanted to do an author interview on my blog, the title of her new book seemed tailor-made for 2020. Is there any time in history when more of us have had anxious hearts? All over the world, anxiety permeates our lives. The year 2020 has brought one anxious situation after another, and we are all reeling, not only with anxiety about today, but with questions about what will happen tomorrow.

Julie’s new book, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, helps readers focus on God instead of our anxieties as she gently leads us to know God better, know the Scripture, and know how to pray. Here is a book that might not only be a good one for you to read yourself, but to give to friends and family as gifts this Christmas. 

Linda: Tell us why you wrote Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart?

Julie: While on my knees one evening praying specifically for a family member who struggles with anxiety, I wished for a book on anxiety and prayer I could offer them; something Scripture-based and simple so it would be encouraging but not overwhelming to read. That single thought flashed into an idea that eventually became the devotional, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart.

I had no idea it would release in the middle of arguably the most difficult year most of us have ever navigated. 2020 has spiked anxiety levels worldwide. Most of us have experienced fear, confusion, health concerns, and various degrees of isolation. Civil unrest, violence, bare grocery shelves, and even toilet paper shortages are realities few of us have navigated. And, of course, add to this the ongoing (or acute) relational, marriage, career, or personal issues we all cope with. Our hearts need peace now more than ever!

Linda: There are lots of devotional books available to readers, but tell us why your book, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, can especially help people during troubling times.

Julie: I’m a huge fan of learning by doing, so this book provides actual prayers for the reader to pray. Those Who struggle with anxiety struggle to focus, and so these prayers keep the reader focused through simple yet powerful prayers. The devotional portion is brief yet meaningful and focuses on Scripture (which is what we all need more of right now). We don’t need more opinions, information, or ideas. We need more of God’s word in our hearts! It stabilizes us, and fills us with truth and peace.

Linda: Since Jesus promises peace, why do you think so many of us are so anxious?

Julie: Here in America, we Americans are accustomed to and expect certain levels of peace, comfort and security. We want tranquil, undisturbed, nearly perfect lives. Most of us are unused to the challenging events 2020 has brought. Plus, we’re not robots—we have emotions and struggle to find our equilibrium in hard times. Jesus knows this and offers us precious comfort and reassurance:

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] (John 16:33) (AMPC)

Jesus is saying life on this earth will be hard—no matter where we live. Reality check: we aren’t in eternity yet! We can still be confident and even undaunted, not because the world lines up in Utopian perfection, but because Jesus offers us His supernatural and perfect peace in the storm.

Linda: How can we trust that God really hears our prayers when bad things keep happening?

Julie: It’s disheartening and distressing when we pray and we don’t see the results we long for. It’s tempting to believe God doesn’t hear or care. But He always listens and always hears us (see John 11:42).

God is often more interested in developing godly character in us and helping us to develop perseverance and tenacity than in reducing our discomforts. He wants us to ask and keep on asking (Matthew 7:7). We can’t give up. We must continue to pray for peace, for our family, for those in authority and for our nation, because that’s what God wants. Ultimately we trust that God is sovereign and the response is in His hands.

Whatever we’re enduring personally, the Lord knows and cares about every detail. He sees our hurts. He understands our pain. Nothing escapes His notice! I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul. (Psalm 31:7)

Lastly, it’s comforting and reassuring to know that God is in the fire with us (see Daniel 3). Life in 2020 has felt more uncomfortable and hotter than most of us have experienced, but our true comfort and our saving grace is that we are not in it alone. Just like He was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Jesus Himself is in the fire with us.

Linda: That’s an encouraging perspective. How do we shift from simply knowing God offers peace to actually living a less anxious life?

Julie: Our focus determines our peace level. It’s important to be aware because Jesus said to watch and pray, but it’s a divine balance. We want to pray effectively by being aware of the issues of our time, but we don’t want to be obsessed with those issues. So we want to be informed but not obsessed.  

To have rest in our souls we must protect our primary focus: we must read God’s Word more than we read social media or watch the news. Not in a head-in-the sand way but in a God, You are sovereign and holy and greater way. Ultimately our goal should be to pray and keep our hearts riveted on Jesus, because what we think about steers our hearts.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3)

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your books?

Julie: All of my books, including Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, are available wherever books are sold. To read the first chapter of each book for free (and for more FREE sources), I invite your readers to visit my website: www.JulieGillies.com

 

Share

Bumper Sticker Be-Attitudes! – Author Interview with Deb DeArmond

When the heaviness of our circumstances weigh us down, our hearts crave something to lighten our spirits. It’s an unexpected pleasure when humor comes to the rescue. Humor can bring healing, and finding good, healthy humor is a tonic to the spirit. While author Deb DeArmond usually writes books on marriage and relationships, her newest book, Bumper Sticker Be-Attitudes, takes a detour into a humorous look at life and God’s prescription on how to live it. Our interview today will tell you more.

Linda: Deb, the first time you told me the title of your book, Bumper Sticker Be-Attitudes, I chuckled. It’s an absolutely delightful title. Would you please tell us where you came up with the concept of a book based on bumper stickers? It’s more than a bit unusual. Tell us about it . . .

Deb: Because I often write blogposts and articles, I’m always looking for themes I can turn into a series. A friend posted a photo on social media she’d taken of two cars she’d spotted, side by side, in a parking lot. One had a bumper sticker that read:” The truth will set you free, but first it will tick you off!” The other read “Don’t believe everything you think.”

They both made me laugh, and as I considered them further, I saw biblical truth in those two statements. The idea of the “truth above the tailpipe” intrigued me. We live busy lives, trying to stretch ourselves thin every day. Trying to find time to spend in the Word of God.

I wrote my first posts with the original two as the titles and included a brief explanation of how they’d been “born.” People, some total strangers, sent me their favorite bumper sticker sayings. The rest, as they say, is history!

Linda: So, where did the term “Be-Attitudes” come from? What’s the connection?

Deb: The concept  behind Be-Attitudes came from my publisher, Deb Haggerty. You may recall from the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5, Jesus identified eight Beatitudes—values or principles—that when practiced, lead to a blessing. These attributes are significant today, just as they were when Jesus spoke them:

  • humility, righteousness, self-control
  • a submitted and selfless heart
  • love, empathy, and peace, to name just a few

Linda: How did you select the fifty titles that appear in the book?

Deb: It wasn’t easy! Over the span of two years, I’d collected more than 300 Bumper Stickers! I sorted through and separated them by topics. I wanted a good balance of different themes and messages that packed a spiritual punch with some humor on the side.

All of the themes feature humor, a quick true story, a scriptural basis, and a set of tips and challenges at the end of each chapter. Learning new principles is great. Doing something with that knowledge is even better!

We live in a challenging time. Current culture is often unkind and self-focused. Believers are challenged to maintain an attitude of Christ-likeness, which is essential to reaching a world in desperate need of the Savior.

Messages that enlighten, encourage and empower provide us with hope in unexpected places. Even in the carpool lane – those became quick picks. 

Linda: Why is humor an important aspect of this book?  

Deb: There are several reasons I chose to make this something that would bring a smile to the reader. Maybe even a guffaw.

 We are bombarded by messages from a world determined to inform, sell and influence something. Television, movies, social media – you name it – they all have a message they hope we’ll latch on to. And often it’s entertaining and fun.

We have a message, too—THE MESSAGE—of the love of God. And from the bumper of the car in front of us to the fortune cookie at the end of the meal, one-liners that are meant to entertain often hold a much deeper meaning when seen through the eyes of those who follow Christ.

I believe in the power of humor – research suggests it is healing; it has the power to lift our spirits, open our hearts, and in many cases, heal us – body, soul, and spirit. Bumper Sticker Be-Attitudes was written to capture those deeper meanings and combine them with a hearty helping of fun so it touches the heart with humor and truth.

Think of all the great “laugh lines” from movies you love. Do you know why you remember them? Because humor helps ideas and concepts to stick. We learn more effectively and recall more accurately when we are having fun in the process. Knowing the Bible deep in our heart equips us for what the day may bring!

Linda: Do you have any personal favorites among the chapters? 

Deb: Just like a mama, it’s tough to have a favorite among your babies – even your book babies. But I must admit, there are a few that stand out.

My mother was a unique woman. She never finished high school and was always a bit uncomfortable about it. She’d had a summer job before her senior year of high school and when she was offered full-time status to stay on in the fall, she accepted. It was during the Depression and her family was struggling. So, she read voraciously. Her intelligence did not just involve her intellect, but her heart and soul also favored her common-sense approach to life. There are several chapters I consider “Memos from Mama.” Titles include:

  • If You Can’t Be Kind, Be Quiet
  • Cancel My Subscription, I Don’t Need Your Issues
  • Youth is Fleeting, But Immaturity Can Last a Lifetime!

 Another favorite category in the book is marriage. I’ve lived in matrimonial bliss for 45 years. Well, most of the time, much of the time – okay sometimes it’s bliss. It’s never been what I’d call effortless, but it’s always been worth the effort. We are blessed. I know Jesus loves me because he gave me the finest man on the planet. He loves me on my good and bad days. And I return that grace. Because marriage is a primary topic for my other books, our life experiences have had more “airing out” in public than most.

The chapter entitled Laughter is the Shortest Distance Between Two People tells the tale of co-authoring a book together. It was our first and, most likely, it’s probably also our last. It’s among the toughest things we’ve ever done together. The book is titled Don’t Go to Bed Angry. Stay Up and Fight! It required we look back at our then 42 years of marriage and share our experiences. We both had razor sharp memories about our life together. We just didn’t recall them in exactly the same way. And that’s when the trouble began.

It caused a bit of a dust-up, an intense moment of fellowship as we call it. And in the middle of our discussion, I began to laugh. It startled him. He demanded to know, “What’s so funny?” which only made me laugh louder. Here we were having a conflict while writing about conflict. And then he joined me as we snorted and guffawed for several minutes. Life is full of surprises.

Linda: So, Deb, where can people find your books, including Bumper Sticker Be-Attitudes?

 Deb: Online at Amazon is the best spot to locate all four of my books. Readers can also find me on my website, Family Matters at debdearmond.com

Thanks, Linda for inviting me in today.

 

Share

A Christian Response to Covid

Photo by LN@younis67

When I was a youth, I remember often singing a popular song in church called, “They Will Know We Are Christians by Our Love.” It was a lovely reminder of the words of Jesus and often repeated by the apostles John and Paul that, as Christians, we are to share God’s love, and through our love for others we will shine a light in this dark world.

During the last five months when the world has been in crisis and people are hurting, we as Christians have had a unique opportunity to step into the gap of fear and uncertainty to share Christ’s love. And many have done that. Christian churches and ministries around the country have poured out God’s love by distributing food and financial help to those who have been adversely impacted by the virus. Some such as Samaritan’s Purse even set up tents in New York City and Italy to provide medical assistance when the pandemic first raged uncontrollably.

A Guiding Light Through Covid

These are difficult days in our country and in our world, and as people look for help and hope to guide them through the fear and uncertainty of unprecedented times, we as Christians have an opportunity to be salt and light to the world and lead people to Christ through our love and concern.

And in so many ways Christians are doing just that.

But on one issue, Christians may need to take a second look about whether we are acting out of love or missing an opportunity to demonstrate that love to protect the vulnerable. A controversy has arisen that seems to have diverted our attention from the more important mission Jesus gave us to love our neighbors. And that is about whether or not to wear masks.What should our response be on this issue? What should guide us?

We all have our preferences. We have our rights. But as those who live in this world but are not of this world, what should be our guiding light? Are we taking advantage of the opportunity to provide guidance through what God has taught us through the scriptures? Are we ourselves looking for guidance from the scriptures? It’s all right there in God’s Word – our prescription for how to work through confusing and troubling times and handle disputes. For me personally, it’s the only thing that helps me discern the right direction in difficult times.

Getting Direction from Scripture

So, if you will give me the privilege of sharing some scriptures with you, let’s look at some of them together to try to get perspective.

When disputes come about, Romans 12:10 tells us to “Honor one another above yourselves.” Likewise, Philippians 2:3-4 tells us, “In humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” And Colossians 3:12-13 says, “as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other . . . .”

As we consider those who are fearful about this virus, shouldn’t we as Christians take their concerns seriously? Even if you are one who believes the threat is not as great as the world asserts, Romans 15:1-2 says, “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” For those who feel safer when masks are worn—even if it seems unnecessary to you, why not go the extra mile to show them love and concern?  We have an opportunity to really be the church, to be the body of Christ, to speak with one heart – a heart of love to protect the vulnerable and show the world the love of Christ.

“If it is possible,” says Romans 12:18, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Romans 14:29 says, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification.”

Paul sums up his plea for unity with these words in Romans 15:5-7. “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.”

Bringing Us Together or Tearing Us Apart

Isn’t this what we all want as Christians? To bring praise and glory to God? Is our controversy over masks doing that? Or is it pulling us apart and giving the world a fractured picture of who we are that does not glorify His name?

Over and over again we are reminded in scripture that LOVE is what God asks of us. As right as we might be in other areas of our Christian life, LOVE is the most important. “If I have the gift of prophecy and all knowledge and if I have a faith that moves mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.” (1 Cor: 13:2.)

It’s been a rough few months with lots of change, discomfort and anxiety. Nobody knows what’s really going on. There are promising cures being discussed, but until the medical community comes together on them, there is not a recognized solution we can all rely on. It’s confusing. Some have doubts and questions about what’s happening in our culture and what impact this can have. Legitimate questions abound. But which of us truly has the answer?  “For by the grace given to me,” Paul says in Romans 12:3, “I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think  of yourself with sober judgement in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you . . . in Christ we who are many form one body . . . .”

Having a humble attitude, looking at others as better than ourselves, protecting the weak and vulnerable, loving others as ourselves, and “living in harmony with one another” is a good way to start. While we need to keep our eyes open and be “wise as serpents”, we also need to be “harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16) so we can give off that sweet aroma of Jesus that draws people to Him.  (Ephesians 5:2)

There are many important issues we as Christians need to address in our culture where we need to take a stand, and we need to be careful not to waste the capital of our credibility and influence on something that boils down to a matter of preference. We are, after all, told in scripture to “submit . . . to the governing authorities.” (Romans 12:1). If we are to protest governmental decisions and actions, let’s choose our battles and fight for God’s priorities, not our own. This period of uneasiness in our world is a time for us to join together to extend love to our communities, to offer hope, and show concern and compassion.

Perhaps hardest of all, even if we can accept the above instructions from our Lord, is to do what Paul tells us to do in Philippians 2:14-16, but it’s also the most rewarding. “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ . . .”

And in the midst of all this, we need to support our pastors who are trying to do a juggling act by balancing the concerns of everyone in their congregations.  Let us “live in harmony with one another,” says Romans 12:16, and we can start by doing this in our very own churches.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18

“Walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” (Ephesians 5:2)

Do you remember this song?

They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Love.

You can listen here.

Share

Living in Lockdown

Life is crazy and unpredictable right now. The world feels like it has turned upside down. Most of us are in lockdown and can’t leave the house. We can’t go to work. Students have to do “school” from home. We can’t even work off steam by going to the gym. We may be scrambling for food and other items we need – toilet paper anyone?

But sometimes when we feel completely out of control, God has the best opportunity to do some of His greatest work. Our own agenda and our own self-will often blocks what God wants to do. In our busy schedules, we put off time seeking God and push forward trying to do what “we” know is best . . . whatever that is.

So what does God want to do in our lives in the midst of this lockdown?

In my book, Broken Heart on Hold, I talk about taking a coffee break with God when times of marital chaos interrupt our life. Perhaps what’s happening all over our country now gives us another opportunity to take a coffee break with God .

Where is God leading you right now?

If you have extra time during this lockdown, take a day with God. Spend quality time with Him in His Word. Ask Him to shine a light on the path ahead where He will guide you to encounter His very best.

Start your day by praising Him, remembering the blessings He has given you in the past. “The Lord inhabits the praises of His people” (Psalm 22:3). When we praise God, we invite Him to participate in our lives, to enlarge our vision, to give us hope when hope seems far away from everything we see. And as our heart begins to open to His Word, we will see new things He wants to teach us; we will feel His presence; we will find prayers on our lips for those around us who need His touch. A time that seems enveloped in darkness can be illuminated by the light of God’s truth when we open our hearts completely to His leading.

Where is God leading you this week? How is He speaking to your heart?

Use this strange time of solitude and lockdown to find the answer to that question. Sit down with your Bible and a journal and write down what you believe God is speaking to you. Listen to praise music. Invite Him into your presence. Meditate on His Word. Maybe find a new Christian book to read. If you want suggestions, you can scroll through past author interviews I’ve done on my blog to find a book that meets a need.

God may unwrap new mysteries to you as He sheds light on your journey ahead and the path He wants you to follow.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, and a light on my path.”  Psalm 119: 105

Share

The Importance of Knowing How to Guard Your Heart

When I walk with people through their times of brokenness, we often talk about Proverbs 4:23: “Guard your heart for the heart is the wellspring of life.” No one wants a broken heart, but life can be painful. Relationships can be painful. So how do we guard our hearts when trouble overwhelms us? What does this verse mean?

Sometimes to protect our hearts we bury them in superficial, mind numbing distractions or try to escape into worlds created by our own devices. We may build a crust around them so nothing can attack them or cause more hurt. We may think we are “guarding” our hearts by hardening them against the pain, against others who try to get close, and anything threatening to break open the outer shell of protection. Unfortunately, however, by taking these approaches, we may create a gateway for bitterness to grow, a bitterness that will eat away at our hearts and cause more havoc throughout our lives.

Other forces attack our hearts also—not just the pain of our circumstances. And these can be more subtle. When we go through a rough time in life, we are vulnerable to the noise of our culture—the pressures coming from society’s norms and values –and the opinions of other people. We hear them again and again. More and more, their answers begin to sound plausible and logical; they may seem the only way out. Our minds and hearts become clouded, and the whispers of God are unable to penetrate the noise and confusion of outside pressures. It feels easier to listen to those with the loudest voices and go with the culture around us.

Thankfully, when God cautions us to guard our hearts, He also tells us how to do it. In the verses directly before Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 4:20-22 instructs us how to guard our hearts. “My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.” Equally important, the end of Proverbs 4:23 tells us exactly why to guard our hearts.  “Guard your heart for the heart is the wellspring of life.”

When I picture the heart being the wellspring of life, I picture a spring of living water gushing up inside the heart, allowing God’s love, peace, and grace to overflow, washing through the person’s spirit and overflowing onto those around him. The heart is the way God connects with us. It’s the way He brings life to us.

Guarding your heart means pulling your heart away from the forces that have the potential to cause it harm, and trusting your heart to God. It means guarding your heart from the toxicities of the culture and the environment around you that would poison that beautiful life-giving wellspring of life coming from God. It means listening to God’s words to guard your heart from the arrows of Satan who would cause bitterness to grow and deceive you onto wrong paths. Instead of trusting your heart to the deceptive words and persuasions of those who might mislead or hurt you, scripture instructs you to guard your heart by putting it in the hands of the only One you can completely trust, and that is our loving and faithful Father God.

In Jeremiah, the prophet continually addressed a people who looked to the gods of other cultures, rather than the living God they’d known, to fulfill their needs and give them the pleasures they desired. God told Jeremiah to call out to them with the truth, to instruct them to listen to Him, but their hearts were stubborn, refusing to listen to God. They allowed the toxicity of the cultures around them to infect their hearts so they were no longer able to hear God and the things He wanted to tell them. As a result of their failure to “guard their hearts,” disaster came upon them.

When we “are still and know that He is God,” we can step out of the undercurrent of societal pressure and listen to God’s voice. What does He want us to do? Where does He want to lead us? Can we quiet our hearts long enough to hear? Are we allowing that spring of Living Water to bring His refreshing Spirit to wash through the clamor of confusion and stabs of pain so we can hear what He wants to say to us?

When we allow God’s Living Water to flow through our hearts, our hearts can remain soft and malleable to God’s touch. Sometimes that softening brings tears as we submit to the will of One whose ways are above our own, who takes us on paths that we can’t control or understand.  Our hearts are breaking; we are out of control; we no longer know what’s ahead. But when our hearts break in the stillness of God’s presence, Jesus pours His living water into the gaping holes to wash through the debris and residue from past hurts and disappointments to renew us. When our tears join with His Living Water, our souls can breathe in the life He wants to give us. We can walk the path He sets before us, unafraid of where it will lead because our eyes are on our Savior and Lord, our ears are tuned to His voice, and our hearts are alive with the wellspring of life.

* * *

If you are fighting for your marriage and need to know how to guard your heart in the process, check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

Share

When Dreams Aren’t Coming True

One morning I sat on my screen porch praying and seeking God.  Discouragement hung heavy on my heart. One of my life dreams just didn’t seem to be coming true. Writing had been my passion since the sixth grade. I wrote for the school newspaper in junior and senior high. I majored in creative writing in college.  My desire to be a writer stuck with me continuously through life, even as various detours caused that dream to drop by the wayside again and again. Some of those detours were God driven, and I willingly followed His lead, using my passion for writing in each of those endeavors. Gradually, local opportunities surfaced.

When the bottom dropped out of my life through a heart-breaking three-year separation from my husband, God began to prepare my heart to go deeper into Himself and into the plans He had for me.

In the year 2000 after my husband and I reconciled, the doors opened for my writing. I published my first article in HomeLife, then Focus on the Family. I became a contributing writer for Tapestry, a Walk Thru the Bible devotional for women.  More significantly, through the heartache I had suffered during our separation, God planted seeds of healing and grace that resulted in my writing Broken Heart on Hold. Four years later, I received my first book contract for it. Through the trauma of heartache, my dreams were finally coming true.

But like so many of us I was satisfied for only a little while.  Eventually, I wanted more. The book proposals and drafts I wrote for two more books went nowhere. My agent faithfully persevered with me through one rejection after another. The rejections were kind: “She writes well,” “Great concept.” Etc.  But they were rejections, and I didn’t understand why God was not allowing me to publish other books that would lift up His name.

A New Revelation

That day on my screen porch as I prayed and spilled out my heart to God in disappointment, I asked God why, why had I not received the blessing I was seeking. As I prayed, a scripture came to mind  that had been hooked into a tab at the top of my bathroom mirror for years.

“If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you want and it will be given to you”   (John 15:7).

I had glanced at the scripture often. Abiding.  Abiding with God. Yes, that was something I desired and tried to do.

“I’ve done that, Lord,” I said aloud. “I have abided with you. Through all those painful times, I abided with you.  I pray all the time.  You know that, Lord.”

In the stillness of my heart God answered me. “But that’s only a part of the promise, Linda.  Yes, you’ve abided in me. But what’s the last part? And my words abide in you.”  Have my words abided in you?”

My mind immediately skipped back to a Beth Moore Bible Study I had recently completed and a story she had told in her Breaking Free video where she told about a woman to whom God abruptly and forcefully spoke an admonition into her heart and mind saying, “Get in my Word!”

Those words resonated with me now too. God’s voice came through loud and clear in the recesses of my mind. I suddenly saw what was lacking: it was not only my knowledge of scripture, but my time reading His Word.  I was not consistent with daily Bible reading.  Oh, I had read through the New Testament a few times, but only once had I read all the way through the Old Testament. And I knew they are oh so connected!

So it came as a shock to me when I realized that although I had gazed upon that scripture on my mirror for years, I had missed an important part of it.

Abiding

Acting upon my new revelation, I got in God’s Word. I began spending time in the scriptures each day. I meditated on the verses I read.  I enrolled in Bible Study Fellowship, a wonderful, in depth study that digs down into God’s Word and plants His truths deep into the hearts of participants.  Although God’s Word had been alive to me before, through time in more intensive Bible Study and meditation, the scriptures themselves began to live in my heart and mind so I could begin to pull them up when I needed God’s wisdom.

As time continued to unfold, I saw that God was teaching me an important lesson about our dreams coming true. When we expect God to grant our desires, but our dreams aren’t coming true,  we may be missing something God wants to show us. In fact, He may have plans for us that are bigger than ours. His purposes for us may reach higher than our own limited vision allows, and we are not yet ready to receive them. That is what I saw happen to me and my writing.

This year, when I published my third book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, I saw God’s hand in it at every level. A few weeks ago, when it won the Golden Scroll Non-fiction Book of the Year Award from AWSA, an association of distinguished Christian authors, I praised God that His ways are perfect and so much better than mine. He knew the plans He had for me. He knew the book He wanted me to write and publish that could bless people’s lives, families, and marriages in important and transformational ways. His plans were bigger than mine, and as I grasped hold of what God wanted to teach me, He allowed my dreams to come true in ways that surpassed my expectations.

He has plans for you too. If your dreams aren’t coming true, you may not be able to see what God is doing right now, but perhaps you too need to hunker down in His Word and let it come alive in your heart so you can see His bigger purposes unfold in your life.

What dreams do you have that aren’t coming true? What do you feel God saying to you about this right now? I love to see your comments.

If you are struggling through a difficult time in your marriage, please check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated

Share
Return to top of page · Copyright © 2024 Linda Rooks All Rights Reserved · Return to Linda Rooks