When Prayers Go Unanswered

May 22, 2019 by 1 Comment

Why does it sometimes seem to take so long for God to answer our prayers?

We cry out to God, knowing—believing—that all God has to do is speak the word and He can give us what we want.

We cry out.  We ask.  We believe.

Sometimes the answer comes quickly, and we’re amazed and blown away by the wonder of His answer. And sometimes it’s a clear “no” as Janet talked about in her post last week.

But other times—many times– we wait while answers seem to hang suspended in the heavens. We can’t see them. Nor hear them.  Nothing seems to be happening. Our prayers go unanswered.

And then come the doubts. Does He not hear?  Does He not care? Why must we suffer through the distress of unanswered prayers?

Why?

The Potter

God is our Father, our Provider, our Advocate, our Strong Deliverer, our Refuge and Strength.  But another one of His roles in our lives is that of the Potter. He is the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the One who searches hearts and minds,

He loves us exactly like we are, but He, our Creator, can also see the breathtaking beauty within us that still lies rough and unshapen amidst the confusion of our souls.  He is the potter taking the warm clay of our lives in His hands to mold us into what He envisioned us to be at the moment of our conception.

Why must we wait?  Why do our prayers go unanswered? Sometimes it’s because He loves us so very much that He wants to bring out that beauty within us.  And sometimes we wait while God kneads and molds the life of someone close to us, someone who is watching us, someone who needs the touch of God on their life.

It may be a prodigal child, a spiritually lost spouse, or a parent who has yet to meet the Savior.  It may even be a friend who watches us from afar to see the miracle of God’s love grow deep and bold within us as we look to Him in faith.

But all this takes time and surrender.

When prayers go unanswered and we wait anxiously for an answer, God may be waiting for us to acknowledge His role as potter and surrender our pain to the potter’s wheel where He can turn it into the lustrous gold of eternal praise and glory to His name.

A Bigger Plan

He is our Emanuel, God with us.  He has not abandoned us.  He is here, and He has a plan.  His plans are higher than ours and have a breadth of purpose we cannot comprehend, but He promises that if we love Him and are called according to His purpose, it will all work together for good.

When we wait through the disappointment of unanswered prayers, we give God time to carry out His plans for us and those we love.

1 Peter 1: 6-7 says: “You rejoice in this, though now for a short time you have had to be distressed by various trials so that the genuineness of your faith—more valuable than gold, which perishes though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (HCSB)

If this is where you are right now . . . if your prayers seem to have gone unanswered, place your prayers on the altar where God can take them and breathe new life into your dreams and desires so He can carry out His perfect will for your life. Wait on Him.  Let the Potter do His work. He knows how to create beauty from the ashes of unanswered prayers.

if you want God’s spirit refreshed and renewed in your life—offer up the following song as a prayer to Him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BagH-zTfnsQ

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Filed Under: Doubt, Prayer, Surrendering to God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

When God Says “No”

May 15, 2019 by 15 Comments

When our world is rocked with crisis and we cry out to God, what do we do when the answer we seem to get from Him is not what we want to hear?  How do we respond when God says “no?”

Award winning author and speaker Janet McHenry has an answer for us, and I asked her to share with us her answers to this question. For in her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today, she tells us how the very prayers that Jesus prayed can teach us how to respond when we hear that disappointing “no.”

So I’m going to turn “Heart Talk” over to Janet today. If you leave a comment for Janet, I will enter your name in a drawing for her new book, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, published by Bethany House.

When God Says “No”

by Janet McHenry

One of the toughest things to handle as a Christian is how to respond when God says “No.”

We know that every prayer for healing is not answered.

Every prayer to be saved from bankruptcy is not answered.

Every prayer to save a marriage is not answered.

So . . . what are we to believe about prayer in those contexts? And what are we to believe about God?

After all, didn’t God say in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you”?

In Psalm 37:4 God says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

And Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete” (John 16:23-24).

Yes, God answers all prayers in some way. Pastor and author Rick Warren has said, “God answers every single prayer. Now, he doesn’t answer them the way you’d like it every time, but it’s an answer. ‘No” is an answer. ‘Wait” is an answer. ‘Grow up’ is an answer. ‘In a little while’ is an answer. ‘In my way’ is an answer. God never leaves a prayer unanswered.”

So, okay, technically the answer was “no” . . . there was an answer, but how do we reconcile that no answer with the earlier scripture promises about fulfilling our heart’s desires and such? And then how do we as Christians respond?

Because I always turn to Jesus as my prayer mentor, I searched how he responded when the Father said “no” to him.

Jesus prayed what I called the two-sided coin prayer in one of my books many years ago: “Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

On the one side of the coin: “Take this cup from me.”

On the other side of the coin: “Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

So, Jesus laid out his heart’s desire . . . and his Abba, his Father, said “no” . . . and Jesus headed to the Cross.

The next three of Jesus’s prayers, I believe, spell out how we can respond as Christians when we don’t see our prayers answered the way we’d like. These are the last three of Jesus’s ten prayers that we have—and all of them he said as he was hanging on the Cross.

Forgive 

The first of those three prayers is “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). So the first thing we can do is forgive.

Jesus was forgiving the soldiers who had nailed him to the Cross, but perhaps he also was forgiving Pontius Pilate and the Jewish officials and even Peter, who had denied him, and the rest of the disciples, who had vanished.

Years ago my rancher husband had seven cattle that died in a two-day blizzard. Six calves and an old bull had bedded down in a dry creek bed and gotten covered over. Despite those conditions, Craig was convicted of six felony animal abuse charges four years later. Because the judge refused to allow our key witness to testify—a UC Davis vet professor, the chief expert in the West on cattle—and refused to have a lot of important evidence admitted, we won a reversal in the California Court of Appeals, but we had a lot of forgiving to do. That case took six years out of our lives, as well as a lot of financial resources. But forgiveness isn’t about what we deserve; it’s kingdom work, and it’s what Jesus did, so we do it in obedience.

Lament 

The second thing we can do when God says “no” is lament. Lament means to cry out mournfully. And Jesus’s second prayer continues to give us insight about how to respond: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:45-46).

Yes, go ahead and cry it out. God can take it. Not complain. But cry out in your pain.

This prayer above all others addresses the biggest, most-often asked question mankind has about God. WHY? Why does God allow suffering? Why must we fall into the hellholes of life? If God loves us so much, wouldn’t such a loving Father steer us around the intersections of pain? Couldn’t there be a better way?

Jesus used the word “forsaken.” He was deserted, dumped, abandoned . . . at least he humanly felt that way. But his being abandoned led to our being adopted. Just as an abandoned baby left at a church or a firehouse might be adopted by a young couple that had been praying for years, Jesus’ abandonment, led to our adoption.

It’s true that we might not always see the purpose in our suffering. We may never. Yes, life isn’t fair. And sometimes the WHY? question gets stuck in our hearts. It hurts. But we can control how we respond.  We can use our pain for others’ good, if we stop, look around, see others who are suffering in similar ways, and reach out to them to encourage and support them. We do not have to stay in that place of feeling forsaken. We can take practical steps to use our hurt to help others.

Submit  

In Jesus’s third prayer from the cross, we learn to submit. Scripture tells us “It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ And when he said this, he breathed his last” (Luke 23:44-46.

“Into your hands.” Wow, that could seem like a scary prayer, except that when we commit or submit ourselves to our heavenly Father fully, we are giving ourselves to the God who redeemed us, the One who adopted us, the one who loves us.

I know such relinquishment, because I saw this through my dad. Six months after he began noticing that he was having a hard time gripping a golf club anymore, he was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—ALS—which destroys the nerve endings to the muscles until eventually the person cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot count on a heartbeat.

Although the doctors said he would have two to four years, he died five months after diagnosis. However, he not only showed other people how to live with faith; he showed others how to die with faith.

My dad had a quick wit, always turning a phrase and telling jokes. Even in his last hours he was still joking with those around him. The day before he passed away, he was still able to push the call button, so he called for the nurse, who came in and said, “Did you call me, Bob?”

He smiled and said, “Why would I call you Bob? Your name is Mary.”

You see, people, the world doesn’t need to see Christians living out their faith in prosperity and posting all the happy stuff on Facebook. They need to see us facing struggles with dignity, with faith, and with integrity. They need to see us thanking God despite our pain and struggles. They need to see us real and vulnerable, yes . . . but in a looking-up posture that shows that FAITH WORKS: that God is real in our lives, that he is worthy of our trust, and that it is our faith alone that sustains us in the Dark Night of the Soul.

Jesus’ prayers teach us how to respond when God says “no”: forgive, lament, and submit. But they show us something even more important: the ONE THING we need to remember about prayer. God himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to bring our needs before him. He wants us to offer praise and thanksgiving and confession, but even more than that, HE himself is the bigger reason for prayer. He wants us to develop our relationship with him, to be a bigger part of our daily, moment-by-moment life, drawing closer to him and learning more about his good character.

Prayer is not about finding pockets of time to say a few remote-controlled phrases. Prayer is about relationship—becoming closer to the One who created you and loves you, so that when God says “no,” you simply nod your head and know he still loves you, he is still in control, and he will walk you through the valley you’re in.

If you’d like a chance to receive a free copy of The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It will Change Your Life Today, please leave a comment below.

* * *

Janet McHenry is an award-winning speaker and the author of 24 books, including the best-selling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus: What Jesus Prayed and How It Will Change Your Life Today. You can see more about Janet, her speaking ministry, and her books at www.janetmchenry.com.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, disappointment, Doubt, faith, Knowing God, Letting go, Prayer, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , ,

Storms

October 15, 2016 by Leave a Comment

storm-approaching“Looks like the rains have started.”

My daughter’s text chimed on my cell phone just seconds after I, too, heard the pittypat of the first raindrops on our roof. A shiver of dread spiked in my head. Hurricane Matthew was on its way—a category 4 hurricane packing 140 mile-an-hour winds, plowing up the Atlantic along the coast of Florida.

As newscasters continually reminded us, this was not to be a fast moving hurricane, but one that would hover for hours—all 120 mph winds relentlessly raging against everything in its path.

And we were in its path.

Although we were not directly on the coast, the eye of the storm was expected to make landfall a mere 40 miles away, and Matthew’s hurricane force winds were so immense they would extend inland to sweep over us in Central Florida. What was forecast was far worse than what we’d experienced twelve years earlier when Charley whipped through Florida, ravaging everything in its path. We weren’t strangers to hurricanes and knew the devastation they could bring.

What would our neighborhood look like when it was over? Would our home be in one piece? How about our trees? Our greatest concern was whether a large oak, in falling distance of the house, was healthy enough to withstand sustained 120 mile-an-hour winds. I stood at the window, watching branches begin to sway from side to side as gusts grabbed hold and tossed them about.

After having done everything we could to prepare and with the sky darkening outside, my husband and I hunkered together in our family room, prayed for safety for all of us through the storm, and waited. Matthew was to hit shore about 11 p.m.

Although our frail humanity left us completely vulnerable in the face of the monster storms churning toward us from the south, we knew we were not alone.

The phone calls and texts from family and friends across the country lifted our spirits to remind us of that.

“Praying that you will be out of danger.”

“You’re getting a lot of prayer from this end.”

“We just prayed that angels would surround your house.”

“I hope you are safe. Prayers going up for you.”

A text from my out-of-state daughter, ‘Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty . . . He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust him. . . Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night. If you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you. . . For he will order his angels to protect you . . . .  Psalms 91:1-16

Both my daughters, one local, one out of state, continued to share texts with us throughout the evening. And the prayers continued.

A little before 11 pm. when the hurricane was expected to strike, a meteorologist on a local station noted that the hurricane was wobbling. “I think it may wobble to the East,” he said, “and because of changes in the eye, it looks like it may be weakening. Matthew may actually remain offshore.”

Sure enough when the official forecast came out, what he said was true. Matthew would not hit land, but stay about 15 miles from the coastline. In addition, it was weakening into a category 3.

Hallelujah! Texts were flying. We were thrilled at the news!

The newscaster at the desk weighed in too as he watched Matthew’s track begin to shift eastward.  “If any of you have been praying that the hurricane would move to the east, your prayers are being answered right now.”

That night the winds blew and the rains came, but no damage occurred.

Some people will just chock off this change in the hurricane’s direction to the fickle nature of hurricanes, but those of us who recognize the powerful God of the universe as our loving Father and the God who hears us when we call out to Him, know this was not a mere chance occurrence. God answers prayer! He does! He really does.

Whatever storms you are encountering at this moment, know that God hears your prayers. The God who created heaven and earth, the One who calms the storm can also direct its course away from YOU. He is our mighty God, and He knows how to protect you from the evil one and from the worst of what this fractured world wants to thrust upon you. When you call upon the name of Jesus, He is by your side.

Although our powerful and loving God may not always answer in the way we want, it is always in a way that will ultimately work for our good and His glory. And He will be there to see you through. God alone is our refuge and strength.

“Behold the Lord’s hand is not too short that it cannot save, nor His ear too dull that it cannot hear.” Isaiah 59:1

Alyse Nicole Merritt

God’s hand protecting Florida by Alyse Nicole Merritt

Thanks to Alyse Nicole Merritt for her beautiful picture and for sharing the above scripture.
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What To Do

November 2, 2015 by 5 Comments

Sometimes You Just Don’t Know He’s There – Key Discoveries About God’s Presence

2015 - summer 001Sitting with Lana over coffee a few days before Halloween, I listened as she poured out her heart about the chaos happening in her marriage.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, “if God would just show me what to do, I’d do it, but I don’t hear anything from him.”

We talked about God’s silences and how God often uses these times to help you grow stronger while you persevere and wait on Him.

“But He is with you,” I said, “whether or not you hear him speaking to you, He is with you.”

“Then why don’t I feel his leading?” she asked. “Why doesn’t He show me what to do?”

Taking a sip of coffee, I savored the delicate pumpkin flavor as I thought about how to answer her. “Are you spending time in the scriptures?” I asked. “What are you reading in the Bible?”

She told me about opening her Bible recently and reading a scripture she’d never read before—a promise that God would release the captives from prison. “I started crying when I read it.”

“See, He is speaking to you.” I said. “He is with you. One of the main ways He speaks to us is through His Word.”

She sighed. “I just wish I knew what to do.”

I chuckled. “Yesterday, I had a vivid illustration of how God is with us all the time, even when we aren’t aware of His presence.” I smiled as I began telling her my story from the day before.

My Story

“I had a doctor’s appointment at noon, an important one because it was a follow-up to surgery. Wanting to make sure I was there in time, I carefully planned out my day.

“The one thing I wanted to accomplish that morning was to put some seedlings of romaine lettuce in pots. So I went out to my car, got the bag of potting soil out of the trunk, then carried it around to the back yard. I had my keys in my hand and thought to myself, I want to be careful not to put these down anywhere or I might forget where I put them.

“I collected some pots, poured in the dirt, transferred each of the sprigs into their respective pots, and watered them.

Afterwards, I showered and got ready for my doctor’s appointment. When it was time to leave, I grabbed my purse and reached down inside for my keys.

“My keys weren’t there.

“I dug around in my purse some more, beginning to feel a little panicked. The doctor’s office was 30 minutes across town, and I needed to leave. I removed my wallet, looked in all the corners and each of the pockets. But my keys were definitely not in my purse.

“I ran upstairs to my bedroom and looked around on the dresser, then ran downstairs to the kitchen, the dining room, went up to the bathroom, all through the house. No keys. I went outside and looked around the porch, out in the dirt where I had been working, then back inside and ran around the house two or three more times.

“’God,” I said, “help me find my keys! I don’t know where they are.” And ran through the house one more time.

“By this time I was desperate. The time was slipping away, and I didn’t want to miss my doctor’s appointment. “God,” I cried again, “You say that when we are weak, then you will be strong, and you know I’m weak, Lord. I need you. I need to go to this doctor’s appointment, and I can’t find my keys. I need you to help me find them!”

“I ran up the stairs again and was just entering the bedroom, when, like a lightning bolt in my mind, I heard a distinct voice—not audible, but as clearly in my mind as if my husband had been standing behind, talking to me. “What were you wearing?”

“I stopped. What had I been wearing? The pants – I had put them in the laundry basket. I ran to the basket, grabbed the pants, held them up, and as I reached down into the pocket, felt the hard metal of keys. There they were! My keys!”

“So,” I said to Lana, “God was with me all the time.”

“But he made you aware of His presence. You heard his voice,” she said. “He spoke to you and showed you what to do.”

“Yes, he did,” I laughed, “but I had to run through the whole house four or five times first.”

We laughed together and drained the last sips of coffee from our cups.

He Was With Me

God had been with me the whole time—before and after I lost my keys. He saw me when I put them in my pocket out in the backyard. He saw me while I was running through the house and when I called out to him. He allowed me to search on my own until I was desperate for His help. Finally, at the last minute, he gave me direction. And I was amazingly on time to the appointment.

God is with us. We must always remember that. And his timing is always perfect. Days, weeks, and months may pass without any tangible sign of His presence. He may not intervene when we think he should. But as you press into him and persevere, at just the right moment, He WILL guide you and tell you what you need to know.

***

For a biblical example of someone who waited in limbo without seeing God answering his prayers, read the story of Joseph from Genesis 40 – 41:45

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Filed Under: Knowing God, Marriage problems, Prayer, Trusting God, Trying to understand, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , ,

The Prodigals We Love

September 11, 2015 by 1 Comment

WALKING-MALEA couple of weeks ago, while sitting in church, I began thinking about the prodigals in our lives, those who are lost and walking apart from God. So often, despite our love, despite our longing to reach out to them, we seem unable to reach them—unable to touch their hearts.

In the midst of my musings, words of scripture crept into my thoughts and I heard the mournful words of Jesus in my head. “Oh Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.” (Matt 23:37.)

Through His words, I saw the grieving face of Jesus as he reached out to his people, only to be rejected, and I realized how thoroughly Jesus understands our pain. Even Jesus experienced the pain of rejection from those He loved, His chosen ones. Even Jesus—God Himself, could not force individuals to come to Him and return His love.

But rejection did not stop Jesus from loving. At the time he spoke these words, he stood in the temple courts, facing suspicious questions and doubting stares, knowing that in a few short days He would lay down His life for these very people who turned their backs on Him.

You hear the emotions in His words that day. He was angry at the Pharisees, sad at the deadness of their hearts, distressed that, despite the love of the Father, the people continued in their willfulness, each person headstrong to go his own way instead of following God.

But in spite of his disappointment, Jesus’ love pressed through to do the Father’s will. For not long after He spoke these words, He willingly died to save the lost, including the very ones who persecuted him.

God does not force His love on any of us, but wants each person to choose to come to Him. Lovingly he waits, ready to receive the repentant one He cherishes.

Although our hearts are heavy and our minds anxious for our prodigals’ return, we too must wait. Even though we long to reach out to them with love, often they are resistant. In fact, pursuing them may actually drive them further away.

Ultimately, the other person has to choose.

But that doesn’t mean we must stop loving. As followers of Christ we are called to love as Jesus loved.

For those prodigals in our lives, we cannot make them return to God or to us, but with a sacrificial love, we can seek God on their behalf through prayer. In spite of rejection, we can humble ourselves to speak words of encouragement instead of shame. And as we sit at the feet of our Father and pour over His words to us in the Bible, we can learn more about how to love with the love He gives to us.

“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8

Jesus speaking in the temple: Matthew 23: 13-39

Story of the Prodigal son: Luke 15: 11-32 Luke 15: 11-32

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Filed Under: disappointment, Divorce, Jesus, Love, Marital separation, Prayer, Prodigals, Reconciliation, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

God’s Paradoxical Ways–Sometimes God Asks Us To Do the Illogical

October 1, 2014 by 4 Comments
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YEARS AGO AT CHURCH I volunteered in a ministry where I found myself at loggerheads with the other woman involved. We completely clashed in the way we wanted to reach our objectives. I was discouraged over our impasse and frustrated with this person who seemed so inflexible in her unwillingness to consider my point of view.

But sometime prior to this, my husband and I had been convicted that whenever we had problems with someone, we should begin praying for them. So grudgingly, I started praying for this woman who was causing me such anxiety.

A few weeks later . . . after we started praying for her, my husband and I were thrust into a social setting with her and her husband and as we spent time talking together, we found that we had a lot in common . . . and we enjoyed them! Within about six months, they had become some of our best friends.

The crazy thing about this turnaround in that particular relationship is that, as we applied this principle to other problem relationships as well, the outcome wasn’t unique. Again and again, when we had trouble with someone and prayed for them specifically, they ended up becoming especially good friends. In fact, it happened so often that it became almost funny. Anytime we had problems with someone and we prayed for them, we halfway expected they’d end up becoming some of our best friends.

The Paradox

The paradox in following God is that while our human inclinations often take us in the opposite direction from what God wants us to do, it’s His leading and His ways that produce the positive consequences we want. But too often we react in the flesh without seeking God and wind up in problems we could have avoided.

In a troublesome relationship, arguing, becoming aloof, or maneuvering our way around the situation seems a much more logical approach than praying for someone who annoys us, hurts us, angers us, or causes us problems.

But God, in His infinite wisdom, whose thoughts and ways are higher than ours, has a different way. And He wants us to come to Him to find out what it is.

Because—actually, coming to Him and asking is the only way we can find out what His different way is.

In the story of Job, when everything in his life fell apart, friends allegedly came to comfort him. But instead they accused him, vilified him, doubted his integrity and caused him great grief.

During these exchanges with his friends, Job continually sought God to come and talk to him. When God did come and answer Job, God told Job to pray for these men who had been so unkind and tactless.

[The Lord] said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “I am angry with you and your two friends . . . . My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer and not deal with you according to your folly.”Job 42:7, 8b

At this declaration from God, I wonder if Job’s first inclination was to do a double take. “Huh? Me pray for them? After all their accusations in the midst of my suffering?”

But Job did what the Lord said to do. Job prayed for his friends.

“And the Lord accepted Job’s prayer.” Job 42:9

But not only did God “accept” Job’s prayer, God used Job’s praying for his friends to bless Job as well . . . in amazing ways.

“After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.” Job 42:10

Job’s Prayer

Job’s prayers are what let his friends off the hook with God so He did not punish them. And after Job prayed for his friends, the Lord healed him and blessed him. But why didn’t God just forgive Job’s friends on His own if He wanted to do that and bless Job as He apparently wanted to do? Why put that responsibility on Job when he was hurting and had reason to resent his friends’ actions?

Because God was doing something that transcends our human understanding. In the spiritual realm, actions that seem paradoxical to our human flesh often bring about shifts in heavenly places. By praying for his friends, Job humbled himself to acknowledge that God’s understanding was far beyond his own and that surrendering to God’s unfathomable ways was the key to living a life pleasing to God.

This principle applies to some of the deeper and stickier issues of life as well.

In my ministry to people who are separated or in a martial crisis, one of the things I often encourage them to do is to completely focus on God and “let go” of their spouse. But I frequently get this question as a result. “Does letting go mean that I should stop praying for him/her?”

In my response I urge them to simply let go of the expectations that God will do what they want Him to do and just pray that God will bless their spouse with a new love for God and an enlightened and discerning heart. No strings attached.

It’s not what we want to do in the natural. Our flesh rails against the idea. We want the strings. But the humility of our obedience even though it turns our hearts inside out, reaches the heart of God. With our hearts softened and malleable to His touch, our hurts become a spiritual sacrifice that He uses to bless us and give us a transformed heart, mind, and life.

God’s paradox is our lifeline to His heart.

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Filed Under: Conflict, disappointment, Grief, How to win, Knowing God, Marital separation, Marriage problems, Prayer, stress, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Watching On The Big Screen – September 11, Then and Now

September 8, 2014 by Leave a Comment

newyork_newyorkcity_september11_648539_hSmoke billowed from the building as flames continued to engulf it. Again and again on the TV, a tape played, showing an airplane exploding into the upper part of the World Trade Center. News reporters frantically attempted to explain what had happened. No reports yet about the people inside except that survivors were seen running from the building. The unspoken question, “How many were dead?”

Flames suddenly exploded from the other tower. “I think that was another plane,” the reporter exclaimed incredulously. “Let me run that again.” As the tape ran, he shouted, “Yes, another plane just hit the second tower.”

Slowly, the truth began to dawn. It was a terrorist attack. Reports began coming from every direction . . . like in the story of Job. Just as one reporter finished announcing a disaster, another interrupted to tell about another.

“There is fire in the Pentagon.”

“There is a report that another hi-jacked plane is still in the sky; no one knows where it is.”

As events unfolded, it became clear that a day of infamy had just been etched into the history of America. It was the morning of September 11, 2001.

As I watched TV that day with reports and televised pictures showing everything that was happening at once, I was reminded of how God looks down on each of us in the middle of a crisis and sees all the surrounding events that are taking place at the same time. He sees the big picture. Those at the heart of that terrible disaster had no idea what was happening. Many had no radio or television or any means of communicating with others. They did not know there was a terrorist attack. They did not know hijacked planes were being used as missiles. They had no idea of the kind of danger they were in. But those of us watching television saw it all unraveling on the screen before us. We had the big picture. And with the gift of perspective, those of us who belong to Christ could tap into The One who had an even bigger picture. We could pray.

Hearing that another hijacked jet was still in the sky that morning, an urgency swept through me. I ran to my living room and knelt down with my hands clasped on the love seat. Looking through the glass doors behind and up into the sky, I began to pray deeply in the spirit. Specifically I prayed for the people on that plane. I prayed for any Christians on the plane to experience God’s wisdom. I prayed that there were courageous people on the plane who would be able to intervene and change the course of the jet so there would not be another violent collision into a major landmark. My prayers were feverish and urgent. In the eye of my mind I could feel struggles going on.

After a few minutes I went back to the television set in the family room. Before long, a commentator reported a plane crash in Pennsylvania. They did not know if this was related to the hijackings or just an odd coincidence. Sometime later, stories began to filter through the airways that one man, then two men, then three…had called on cell phones and told their loved ones they were going to do something about the hijacking that was taking place.

Around noon I called my daughter, and we talked about our prayers that morning. Her prayer had been for the dying. “I just kept praying that people who were dying would call on the name of Jesus,” she said. In the solemnity of her voice there was a deep, painful sense of eternity hanging in the balance.

Several days later I heard the story of a Christian man who told of being with a group of people trapped in one of the Towers just before the collapse of Tower 2. “Call on the name of Jesus,” he shouted to them. From all around him, people began crying out, “Jesus,” “Jesus.” Miraculously, this man not only managed to get out from under the debris that buried them, but pulled out two others who were still alive as well. The three made it through the ash and debris to safety, but the others didn’t survive.

As Christians we know by faith that God is in control. What we cannot see, however, is how He exercises that control. He did not stop those first three planes that hit the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. But how many unseen mysteries happened that day that we will never hear of? How many people were moved by God’s Holy Spirit to pray? How many prayers strengthened the saints caught in the middle of disaster? How many stories could be told of heroism and courage that had eternal results? We will never know the answer to that until one day in Heaven we see “face to face.” Then we will know the mysteries and see God’s plan unfurled.

In a few more days it will be September 11, 2014. Violence has once again erupted and spread rampant in the Middle East, two journalists are dead, and tales of commercial jets missing from Libya (although not officially confirmed) have begun to spark fear.

But as Christians we are not called to fear. We are called to prayer. Our God watches on the big screen. God hears our prayers and He is in control.

On September 11 I invite you to join me in calling on the name of Jesus and making this September 11, 2014, a day of prayer. We don’t have to change our plans or stay on our knees. But throughout the day we as Christians can pray quiet prayers of protection for the innocent, and confusion and defeat for the violent perpetrators of evil.

Please join me and dedicate yourself to prayer on September 11.

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven, and forgive their sin, and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)

The righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness. (Prov. 11:5)

To remind yourself about who’s in charge, listen to the following song and know that God will indeed hear you when you call.

“Whom Shall I Fear? (The God of Angel Armies)” by Chris Tomlin     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0gu0nOaFsI

 

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Filed Under: Danger, Fear, How to win, Jesus, Prayer, spiritual warfare, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Interview with Kathy Collard Miller, Author of Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather

May 14, 2014 by 8 Comments

Partly Cloudy With Scattered Worries - Kathy Collard MillerWhen I scheduled this interview with Kathy Collard Miller for early May, I didn’t connect the appropriateness of her book title with our Florida weather.  But as I look out the window at the gathering clouds and intermittent rainstorms, I find the timing of my interview about her book, Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries: Finding Peace in All Kinds of Weather to be extremely fitting.

I believe Kathy’s topic about worry and anxiety will resonate with many of us.  In the midst of life’s storms, how do we keep from worrying?  Speaker and author Kathy Collard Miller has an answer for us. She has published 49 books and has carried her message of hope, faith, and encouragement into eight countries throughout the world and thirty U.S. states.

I feel honored that she is sharing with us today.

Linda:  Kathy, what is really wrong with worry? What is the biggest problem that worry causes for us?

Kathy:  The answer to both those questions is that worry steals our ability to acknowledge God as the God of our lives. I have no trouble calling worry sin because we are disobeying God’s command to “Be anxious about nothing…” (Philippians 4:6). We have a big problem when we fight God’s control of our lives. We’re on our own and we try to control and manipulate people and circumstances to get our needs met. And it’s so subtle. We may not even realize we’re worrying—we call it other words like concerned, mulling, thinking or planning, but we’re not seeking God.

Anxiety is currently the number one emotional problem of American people. Panic anxiety is the number one mental-health problem for women in the United States, and in men is only second to substance abuse. Worry causes relationship problems, physical illness, loss of faith, and stress. No wonder! We’re trying to play God.

Linda:  I’m sure we can all admit that we worry at times. But I’m curious. How did you happen to write a book about worry?

God was working and tranforming me to trust Him more and I wanted to share what I had learned. My desire is to help readers trust God more by being convinced of His greatness, sovereignty, power, love, and involvement. We can say we trust God but then we give in to anxiety, people-pleasing, controlling others, regrets, fear, and trying to provide for ourselves when God says to wait on Him. Our responses actually reveal that we don’t trust God as much as we think we do.

For instance, if a woman is wondering whether her husband still loves her, or is worried that he’s being unfaithful, she may try to manipulate or control her husband. She may react in anger out of anxiety or withdraw her heart because she is taking his behavior personally. Her eyes are on making her husband meet her needs rather than trusting God to meet them. But Philippians 4:19 says God will provide all our true needs. Worry won’t make our spouse respond; it’ll only cause us to react in ways that may push him away more.

I was once in that very situation and my worry made me bitter and needy. It only caused my husband Larry to want to work more so he could be away from my nagging. But when I committed to trusting God to be all I needed, even if Larry never changed, I became more peaceful. Then Larry wanted to be around me. Now we’ve been married almost 44 years.

Linda:  Tell us a little about the concept that began to transform your thinking about worry.

Kathy: I heard this concept at a conference: “If I’m worried, think of the worst possible thing that can happen and then think of reasons why it wouldn’t be so bad after all.” The speaker quoted Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (NASB). I realized my worry indicated I didn’t think God had the power to bring good out of bad and I worried that something bad would happen. But quoting that concept and verse began to give me a different perspective. It helped me relax and allow God to be in control.

 Linda:  Why do you think people worry?

Kathy:  Of course, there are many reasons but here are a few. We may have experienced some hurtful things in childhood and blamed God. So our hearts are fearful of turning control over to Him. We may think that worry gives us power in another person’s life. I remember worrying when my teenage son had to fly across country by himself to a Christian golf camp. I worried he would miss his connecting flight until God whispered, “You’re worried because you want him to need you. Let him need Me.” Oh, how revealing. I could then release that worry and let God show Himself strong. Additionally, people worry because they really do think worry does some good. One woman told me, “Well, of course, worry works; after all, what I worry about doesn’t happen.” I’m sure she was joking (I think!), but in our hearts, we can think it does some good. Unfortunately, worry only makes us tense and then we react in ways we regret. Plus, God isn’t honored.

Linda:  Many of those reading this blog are going through serious storms in life. The worries they have are based in substantial life traumas that have already disrupted their lives. They worry about the future, about what will happen with their children, whether there is hope for their marriages, etc.  What do you have to say to them?

Kathy: I am sad to think of those going through hard times. I can relate. After being married seven years, I hated my husband and took out my anger on our two-year-old little girl to the point that I abused her. I worried that I would actually kill her in one of my rages. I almost took my life to prevent that from happening. But God intervened and as I turned my life over to him little by little, I saw how He wanted to use my struggle for His glory and my good. God healed our marriage and the relationship with my daughter. He gave me a ministry of sharing my story and writing about it. Then that blossomed into the ministry I have today. And my daughter is a happy adult who calls me her best friend.

I understand life seems impossible, but God is still God and He wants to help us. And worry doesn’t accomplish a single positive or helpful thing. It only motivates us to respond in hurtful and damaging ways. Worry is impotent but God is powerful. There is always hope with trusting God.

 Linda:  Tell us a little more about your book.  What are you trying to accomplish and how is it formatted?

My book helps people, primarily Christian women, to trust God more and thus worry less. It is filled with stories from my own life and the lives of others who learned how to do that very thing, along with biblical principles and practical instruction. I’ve also included Discussion Questions that a group or an individual can use. Plus, every chapter highlights a woman from the Bible who either struggled with worry or one who overcame her worry. Every chapter ends with a “Letter From God” which speaks to the reader about what she learned in the chapter.

 Linda:  Are you available for speaking, especially on this topic of overcoming worry?

Oh yes, I love to speak on lots of topics, including overcoming worry. I especially love speaking at women’s retreats because I can have extended contact with the women. I can be reached at Kathyspeak (at) aol (dot) com.

 Linda: Where can people find out more about Partly Cloudy with Scattered Worries?

Kathy:  It is available on Amazon for either Kindle reading or print:
http://amzn.to/18SUUHM

Or to get a little preview, you can view the book trailer at http://bit.ly/1czUhKh

My website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.blogspot.com


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Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, Desire, Doubt, Fear, Feeling unworthy, How to win, Interviews, Marriage problems, New Directions, Prayer, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized, Worry Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

When A Child Comes . . .

April 2, 2014 by Leave a Comment

And Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me.”

Carson praying 1Although I normally minister to adults, my own testimony begins as a child. When I was eight years old I knelt beside a bed with my grandmother and prayed to receive Jesus into my heart. It was very real to me, and from that time on, the foundation for my life became rooted in Jesus. When I go back and look at memorabilia of my childhood and youth, I find the thread of that decision weaving through everything. God was my anchor and lead me through life—I may have followed imperfectly at times—but He was always there to keep my foot from slipping too far off the path He had chosen for me.

Because this is my testimony, I know Jesus does indeed love little children. And when a child comes to Him at a young age, I know that child will have an anchor to hold onto throughout life. With this as my experience, my new children’s book, The Bunny Side of Easter, brings me back full circle to when I began my own Christian walk.

While the book is a fun adventure story about how the Easter bunny came to be, it carries deeper undertones—hints of allegory—that I pray will point children to Jesus.

God wants children to come to Him at an early age so He can guide them, lead them and undergird them with His love and strength when they encounter trials and hardships.

He wants to grow them strong in Him and sharpen their understanding about the power of prayer as they face both the common and uncommon problems in life.

God wants to be with them through life so they can become all that He created them to be

 “Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Luke 18:16)

Yes, Jesus said to bring the little children, but for some of us, we wonder . . . when a child comes, what do we do?  It is sometimes difficult for us as adults to know how to broach the subject with young children and lead them to a decision for Christ. Can children truly understand what Jesus did for them on the cross?  If they make a decision, is it sincere and real?

As young as I was when I received Jesus as my Savior, I still remember how meaningful that decision was for me at the age of eight. I was excited about it and told my friends about “giving my heart to Jesus.” I even recall engaging in a debate with an unchurched friend about what it meant.  Because of my own experience, I know that a child’s heart is ready to receive Jesus as his or her savior and that a lack of intellectual maturity does not negate a child’s spiritual readiness for God.

As Keith Miller said in his book, The Taste of New Wine, when we accept Jesus as our Savior, we give as much of ourselves as we can to as much of God as we understand.

Starting a Conversation

Even knowing this, we may still flounder around as we search for a creative and meaningful way to actually lead children into a deep discussion about God so they can appreciate the significance of asking Jesus to be their savior?

One of my hopes for my children’s Easter book, The Bunny Side of Easter, is that this fun adventure story with hints of allegory will point children to what Jesus did on the cross and open up a deeper discussion with parents and teachers. I want this book to be more than an entertaining and exciting story.  I want children to get a glimpse of what Easter really means—about the new life Jesus gave us when He offered Himself up on the cross. My website, bunnysideofeaster.com includes a discussion guide as well as a child-focused testimony and explanation of what Jesus did for us at Easter and a sample prayer that a child can pray to receive Christ.

It is my earnest hope and prayer that The Bunny Side of Easter will open the door to a deeper conversation with many children to help them understand what Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross meant for them. For when a child comes to Him, Jesus will receive him or her with open arms and stay with him throughout life.

You can see more about The Bunny Side of Easter at http://www.bunnysideofeaster.com

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Divine Inconveniences

February 26, 2014 by 2 Comments

EVERY NOW AND THEN A SET OF “COINCIDENCES” HAPPEN that makes me gape in wonder at the loving God who orchestrates little details of an afternoon so that someone can find healing for a broken heart. Often it happens through a series of inconveniences that God allows, which prevents us from doing things according to our own plan, but works together for His. And then after my fretting and complaining about the inconvenience, I have to chuckle at my own naiveté and lack of understanding about the ways of God. OF COURSE, he’s using all these things for His purposes. He’s told us He’s doing that. But again and again we’re surprised.

But after the surprise, comes the wonder, the joy, and the knowledge that God is in control.

It Happened to Me

This happened to me one year at the International Christian Retailing Show, an event where publishers exhibit their books, and bookstore owners come to buy. Authors like me sometimes go also to meet with editors and submit book proposals.

After spending the day tromping up and down the long aisles of the Convention Center for a number of appointments and meetings, my high heels pinched at my toes, and my legs ached. I had just finished meeting with an editor of a publishing company about my latest book project, and now I was worn-out and ready for a break. It seemed a good time to phone my husband back too as we’d been missing each others’ calls all day.

Spotting a lone bench at the periphery of the booths, I made my way toward it and was about to sit down when I realized I was missing my purse. Speculating I had left it at the booth where I had just had my last appointment. I wearily wound my way back through the aisles, and, sure enough, discovered my purse next to the seat where I’d been sitting.

I retrieved it and made my way back to the bench only to find someone else sitting there.  More fatigued than ever, I wandered down several more aisles, looking for a place to rest until I finally found another vacant bench.  I sat and called my husband. He didn’t answer.

A Chance Encounter

A woman sat down beside me, and just to make conversation, I asked her if she owned a bookstore since that was generally true of most of the people there. She said she did and asked if I was a bookstore owner too. When I said I was an author, she asked what I’d written, but before I could give her an answer, my cell phone rang.  It was my husband. Not wanting to miss him again, I told her I needed to answer the call but she was welcome to look at my book. Then I grabbed a copy of Broken Heart on Hold from my bag and handed it to her.

As I spoke to my husband, I noticed the woman poring over the book, reading the back copy and the table of contents, flipping through the pages, and perusing several selections.

When I hung up the phone, the woman turned to me and said with great delight and a sense of amazement. “This is the book I’ve been looking for.”

Puzzled by her comment, I asked her what she meant.

Before she came to the retail show, she explained, a woman had come into her bookstore looking for a book to help her cope spiritually with her situation and offer encouragement.  Her husband had left her, and she was devastated.

The bookstore owner told her she didn’t know of such a book, but since she was going soon to the retail show where every Christian publisher displayed their books, she promised to find what the woman needed. Then she prayed to be able to fulfill her promise. Unhappily though, as she went from one publisher’s booth to another, she had not as yet found anything appropriate.

And so God orchestrated the strange maneuverings of our chance encounter, with me forgetting my purse, having sore feet, and not finding a place to sit, then beginning an offhand conversation with a stranger, which was interrupted by a phone call from my husband. All of this resulted in my responding to her question by handing her my book.

On her end, as she had approached the bench where I was sitting, she intended to take the seat behind me, but when someone intervened to take it first, she instead sat next to me where she “just happened” to discover the book she was praying to find.

So at the end of the day, a heart found help for healing, and I was reminded never to underestimate how intimately God’s love works in our lives to bind up the wounds of the brokenhearted.

“Look at the birds of the sky; they don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?” Matt 6:26

“For we know that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28 

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Filed Under: Love, Marital separation, Prayer, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,
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