Let’s Talk about Marriage in Crisis . . .

Photo by Ben White

For the past several months of 2020 our world has been in such crisis that I have spent much of my time on Heart Talk just working through the daily troubles we’re experiencing together as a people. As a result, I haven’t focused on marriage as much as I’d like.

So today I’m beginning a series on marriage—particularly focusing on how to work through a marriage in crisis so you come out on the other side in one piece. During the following weeks, some of my posts will actually be segments I initially planned to include in my latest book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, but which didn’t appear in the final release. With these posts, I hope to continue walking beside you as you work to bring restoration to your marriage.

If your life is embroiled in chaos because of what is happening in your marriage, throwing a pandemic into the mix certainly doesn’t help. An already broken heart has a hard time holding the pieces together. Discouragement, depression, and hopelessness swirl around you like a bad dream. Loneliness engulfs you, and you can’t even reach out to people because we’re in a pandemic.

Even without a pandemic, those who are separated or have a marriage in crisis are some of the loneliest people around. A study conducted in 1991 about loneliness in adults reported that the separated are more lonely than any other group of adults categorized by marital status. In fact, 29.6% of the Separated say they are lonely compared to 20.6% widowed, 20.4% divorced, 14.5% never married and 4.6% married. Even if you could go out and spend time with people, when you are separated, you don’t feel like you belong anywhere. And when you’re in the middle of marital crisis but still together, your couple times with others may seem disingenuous.

Hope seems like a foreign word in another language. What does hope even mean? What does it look like? Where do you find it?

It begins by taking a step back from the crisis and getting a new perspective. It begins by focusing your heart and mind on the invitation of Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”  In our lonely state, we can enter into a communication with our God that goes deeper than what we’ve known before. He can open our eyes to things we’ve missed and truths that penetrate any errors in our thinking. And He’s always near.

As you wait, let these words form a prayer on your lips, “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” Psalm 39:7

In our marriage classes, many times it has been Psalm 46:10 that has redirected a person’s thoughts and actions to bring them to a place where they can change the course of their marriage. And, often, it’s a day of prayer that shifts a person’s thinking and starts them on the path toward reconciliation.  Alberto’s story, in my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, testifies to this very truth. It was when he was quiet before God that God began turning his life around. As a result, he and his wife reconciled, and now, several years later, their marriage is thriving. To this day Alberto serves God with a humble heart and has been involved in helping other men on their path to reconciliation in their marriages.

So today, stop! Look to the Lord. Let Him quiet your spirit so you can begin to hear His voice.

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. Psalm 33:20

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:5

If you’re experiencing a marriage in crisis, let my first book, Broken Heart on Hold, be that needed friend, walking beside you to help you quiet your heart while you look to God to heal your emotions and give you strength for the journey.

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A Special Family Christmas Eve Service in Your Own Home

Photo by Jose Antonio Hernandez

Since Christmas Eve services might look different this year and may even be non-existent in places where churches are closed, I want to offer you a sweet and meaningful alternative you can have in your own home. It’s the Family Christmas Eve service my parents did with my brother and I when we were growing up.

It became a treasured tradition I even carried into my own family when my husband and I had children of our own. In fact, we still do it today, even when we attend services at church. Many times our adult children and their children participate as well. Although the Christmas Eve services at church are always beautiful and meaningful, our folksy Christmas Eve service at home joins us together as a family in a personal celebration of the Christ child that took root in my soul as a child and imprinted cherished memories in my heart for a lifetime.

If you’re lamenting the loss of attending a Christmas Eve service, Covid doesn’t have to steal Christmas from you. In fact, it may launch a tradition you will treasure for years to come.

Family Christmas Eve Service

Leader: The service will begin with the youngest member of the family lighting the Christmas candle in honor of the Holy Christ Child.

(While the candle is being lit, read)

Leader: And Jesus said: “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.  Verily I say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall not enter it.” (Luke 18:15-17)

Leader: Now we will read the Christmas story.  (Different members of the family will read different selections.)

Read:  Luke 2:1-7

Everyone sing:  “Away in a Manger”

Read:  Luke 2:8-14

Everyone sing: “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and “The First Noel.”

Read:  Luke 2:15-20

Everyone sing:  “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem

Read:  Matthew 2:1-12

Everyone sing:  “We Three Kings

Leader: Now let us pray.

Prayer:

Oh precious Father of our Lord, who was born on this sacred day, and Father of mankind, a mankind that is not always aware of your constant presence, and Father of ours, we thank you this evening for the original Christmas gift that you gave, which awakened our hearts to Thy love and which gave us the loving Christmas spirit of giving which is at the very core of our Christmas tradition.  Thank you for the gift of your only Son whom You loved, but whom You gave for us because You so loved us.

Dear Father, help us to remember the true meaning of Christmas all through the Christmas season, even when horns are honking at us in the Christmas rush traffic, when shoppers jostle us or carelessly block our way when we are hurrying about our business.  Imbue us with the Christmas spirit at these times and on Christmas day when we are filled with the excitement of opening presents, eating turkey and Christmas goodies, and visiting with family and friends.

But most of all, help the Christmas season to be just a beginning to our New Year so that throughout the coming year we are filled with, and can spread to others, the Christmas spirit of love, joy, peace, hope and understanding.  Infiltrate our thoughts and our desires so that we will desire what you would have us desire and so that we will remember those who need us, our services, and our worldly goods.

Help us not to bypass anyone who we could help, nor say an unkind word to save our pride, but help us to live as Christ taught us to live and to remember His words, “Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these, you have done it unto me.”

Finally, dear Lord, give a peace to our souls so that in the stillness that You provide, we can block out the clamor, frustrations, and worries of the world sufficiently enough to be aware of Your constant presence, to hear Your voice, and to discover Your will for our lives.  And as each year passes, help our spirits to grow and mature so that in our final years our souls will be able to enter into Your heavenly glory, not as strangers, but as your true sons and daughters.

In the name of the holy Babe of Christmas we pray.  Amen

Everyone sing:  “Silent Night

Leader: The oldest member of the family will extinguish the candle, ending the ceremony, but beginning a year of service to our newborn Lord.

*Suggested preparation: Put out one Christmas candle, find four Bibles (or pass one around and share), hand out song sheets for everyone. (lyrics can be found by clicking on song links above).

If you’re trying to hold together a broken family because of a troubled marriage, let my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, help you put it back together.

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Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart – Interview with Author, Julie K. Gillies

When I asked Julie Gillies if she wanted to do an author interview on my blog, the title of her new book seemed tailor-made for 2020. Is there any time in history when more of us have had anxious hearts? All over the world, anxiety permeates our lives. The year 2020 has brought one anxious situation after another, and we are all reeling, not only with anxiety about today, but with questions about what will happen tomorrow.

Julie’s new book, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, helps readers focus on God instead of our anxieties as she gently leads us to know God better, know the Scripture, and know how to pray. Here is a book that might not only be a good one for you to read yourself, but to give to friends and family as gifts this Christmas. 

Linda: Tell us why you wrote Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart?

Julie: While on my knees one evening praying specifically for a family member who struggles with anxiety, I wished for a book on anxiety and prayer I could offer them; something Scripture-based and simple so it would be encouraging but not overwhelming to read. That single thought flashed into an idea that eventually became the devotional, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart.

I had no idea it would release in the middle of arguably the most difficult year most of us have ever navigated. 2020 has spiked anxiety levels worldwide. Most of us have experienced fear, confusion, health concerns, and various degrees of isolation. Civil unrest, violence, bare grocery shelves, and even toilet paper shortages are realities few of us have navigated. And, of course, add to this the ongoing (or acute) relational, marriage, career, or personal issues we all cope with. Our hearts need peace now more than ever!

Linda: There are lots of devotional books available to readers, but tell us why your book, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, can especially help people during troubling times.

Julie: I’m a huge fan of learning by doing, so this book provides actual prayers for the reader to pray. Those Who struggle with anxiety struggle to focus, and so these prayers keep the reader focused through simple yet powerful prayers. The devotional portion is brief yet meaningful and focuses on Scripture (which is what we all need more of right now). We don’t need more opinions, information, or ideas. We need more of God’s word in our hearts! It stabilizes us, and fills us with truth and peace.

Linda: Since Jesus promises peace, why do you think so many of us are so anxious?

Julie: Here in America, we Americans are accustomed to and expect certain levels of peace, comfort and security. We want tranquil, undisturbed, nearly perfect lives. Most of us are unused to the challenging events 2020 has brought. Plus, we’re not robots—we have emotions and struggle to find our equilibrium in hard times. Jesus knows this and offers us precious comfort and reassurance:

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] (John 16:33) (AMPC)

Jesus is saying life on this earth will be hard—no matter where we live. Reality check: we aren’t in eternity yet! We can still be confident and even undaunted, not because the world lines up in Utopian perfection, but because Jesus offers us His supernatural and perfect peace in the storm.

Linda: How can we trust that God really hears our prayers when bad things keep happening?

Julie: It’s disheartening and distressing when we pray and we don’t see the results we long for. It’s tempting to believe God doesn’t hear or care. But He always listens and always hears us (see John 11:42).

God is often more interested in developing godly character in us and helping us to develop perseverance and tenacity than in reducing our discomforts. He wants us to ask and keep on asking (Matthew 7:7). We can’t give up. We must continue to pray for peace, for our family, for those in authority and for our nation, because that’s what God wants. Ultimately we trust that God is sovereign and the response is in His hands.

Whatever we’re enduring personally, the Lord knows and cares about every detail. He sees our hurts. He understands our pain. Nothing escapes His notice! I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul. (Psalm 31:7)

Lastly, it’s comforting and reassuring to know that God is in the fire with us (see Daniel 3). Life in 2020 has felt more uncomfortable and hotter than most of us have experienced, but our true comfort and our saving grace is that we are not in it alone. Just like He was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Jesus Himself is in the fire with us.

Linda: That’s an encouraging perspective. How do we shift from simply knowing God offers peace to actually living a less anxious life?

Julie: Our focus determines our peace level. It’s important to be aware because Jesus said to watch and pray, but it’s a divine balance. We want to pray effectively by being aware of the issues of our time, but we don’t want to be obsessed with those issues. So we want to be informed but not obsessed.  

To have rest in our souls we must protect our primary focus: we must read God’s Word more than we read social media or watch the news. Not in a head-in-the sand way but in a God, You are sovereign and holy and greater way. Ultimately our goal should be to pray and keep our hearts riveted on Jesus, because what we think about steers our hearts.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3)

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your books?

Julie: All of my books, including Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, are available wherever books are sold. To read the first chapter of each book for free (and for more FREE sources), I invite your readers to visit my website: www.JulieGillies.com

 

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New Every Morning

Sunshine streamed through the bedroom window, bathing my bed in golden rays of light even before I opened my eyes.

Morning had come. It was a new day.

Even though I’d felt discouraged the day before, I had gone to bed that night by lifting the Lord up in praise, remembering that even in the darkness He could overcome. It’s certainly not something I did every time I felt disappointed and unhappy, but over the years I had learned there is power in praising God and remembering His goodness. And the worship service that morning had reminded me what a good God we have.

Now it was morning—a new opportunity to see prayers answered, a new opportunity to see hope rise up in the midst of ashes and disappointment.

Memories of a scripture, long ago remembered, drifted into my mind. Your compassions are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3)

Yes, it was a new morning, a new day.

“This is the day the Lord has made. I will be glad and rejoice in it,” says Psalm 118:24.

What a wonderful reminder that scripture is.

Morning is a gift to us, a new beginning. The sun comes out as a declaration of hope, claiming the promise of a new day.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail,” declares Lamentations 3:22-14. “They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “’The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”

Every morning God gives us a new beginning. Even if sorrows from the day before hover above our spirits, the morning brings a new opportunity to release them to the Healer of hearts.

Every morning is a new opportunity to see prayers answered and a new opportunity to wipe our slates clean by coming to God and seeking forgiveness. Each morning is a new day to invite our Savior to journey with us through the hours in front of us, leading us one step at a time and opening our eyes to new possibilities. Each morning is a new opportunity to open up our Bibles to see what God is saying to us for THIS day. It’s a new opportunity to serve Him and a new opportunity to find God in unexpected places as we wait on Him throughout the day.

We may not see the answers come that day either. But guess what? When we lay our head on the pillow that night and go to sleep, a few hours later we will awaken to a new morning–a new gift from God. And His compassions are new every morning.

What is God saying to you about today? Forget about yesterday. That is over. And don’t worry about  tomorrow, or it will rob you of today. Today is yours right now, and it will never come again. Enjoy the gift God has given you – the gift of today. Watch and wait for what He is doing in your life in the coming hours. The morning brings new opportunities. Celebrate by praising Him, using the power of prayer He has given you, and by serving Him as you love those who come into your path throughout the day.

Enjoy your gift—your gift of morning. It’s a precious gift from God.

If your heart needs healing in the midst of marital trauma, you will find hope and a friend to walk beside you in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

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A Waste of Time

Photo by Jon Tyson

After spending the morning pulling weeds, I sat on the porch and gazed out at our yard. Was all my effort pulling weeds a waste of time? Would they all grow back? I thought of the many hours I had spent over the years pulling weeds only to have to go back before long to pull more. A weed magnet—that’s our yard. I could never get them under control.

Was it just a waste of time?

With that question lurking in my mind, I sipped some iced tea and began leafing through a magazine. My eyes fell on an article about missionaries working in an unnamed country with very strict laws. Recent regulatory changes required the missionaries to acquire a building and meet very high standards that would take time to develop, They weren’t sure they could do it before their visas expired. The article told of the many months that passed as they prayed and searched their host city for a property that met the very detailed specifications. After a number of potential arrangements fell through, they grew more and more discouraged. But then, right at the last minute, they found what they needed and were able to meet all the specifications. They called it a miracle.

All the time it took them, I thought. It seemed a waste of time. They were missionaries. They were praying, and yet . . . it still took time.

So was it a waste of time?

I am so project oriented I often measure the success of my days by how much I accomplish on my list. Time is important to me. I hate wasting time—especially when the computer freezes up or I misplace something and have to look for it—or a hundred other things that seem to take longer than necessary. Some of you may feel having to stay home during this pandemic has been a waste of your time.

But the strange thing is: God doesn’t seem to care if we waste time. When I think about how long it took for my first book to get published even though it’s now helped so many people, when we think about the story of the missionaries or many other instances in which someone has been praying for a long time for their marriage to be reconciled or their health to be restored, we can’t help wondering, “Why doesn’t God answer immediately?” He certainly has the power to do it. Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to everyone for the prayers to be answered quickly? After all they are PRAYING!

But when I ponder over that question, I realize time doesn’t seem to be God’s biggest concern.

God seems more interested in something else.

To begin with, 2 Peter 3:8-9 reminds us, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

So for God, the process is apparently more important than our timetables. First, He wants those in our sphere of influence to “come to repentance,” to come to salvation so they can become children of God.

Secondly, He is interested in how we go about trying to achieve our goals. What are we doing while waiting—or looking for something lost? Grumbling? Complaining? Angry at God or others? Slumping into depression? Or are we using this time to come close to God and ask for direction and counsel? Perhaps He wants to use this time to refine our characters and help us grow closer to Him. Do we pause and pray? Seek answers from scripture? Talk to Christian friends? Praise Him in the midst of our trials? Are we growing in some way?

James 3:8 instructs us to: “Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 3:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Perhaps God’s purpose for allowing us to trudge through the process is reflected best in Paul’s instruction to the Philippians. “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

Finally, 1 Peter 2:5, shares God’s ultimate purpose and design for these unwanted periods of “wasted time.” For those of us who are Christians, 1 Peter 2:5 says, ”you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

All in the Process

Our Christian life is in process. God wants to continue to grow us so we can win the race and be all that we can be when we enter His kingdom. What we consider a waste of time may actually be an opportunity to dive more deeply into God’s purposes. God is more interested in the process we are going through than the achievement of our goals. For in the process, He wants us to turn to Him and use our times of uncertainty to come closer to Him in relationship.

The same is actually true of my weeds. Although I often begrudge the need to do it, my work pulling weeds often becomes a special time with God. In those quiet moments, if I’m listening, God speaks to me through the mysteries of His creation and teaches me more about life, love, and how to know Him better.

So is it a waste of time? No, it’s all in the process. If we’re listening and seeking, if we want to win the race, God can use those lost moments of wasted time to show us more of Himself.

 “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

If you’ve been praying for your marriage and you still don’t know if reconciliation will take place, you may find help in my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.  There’s hope even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

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Living in Lockdown

Life is crazy and unpredictable right now. The world feels like it has turned upside down. Most of us are in lockdown and can’t leave the house. We can’t go to work. Students have to do “school” from home. We can’t even work off steam by going to the gym. We may be scrambling for food and other items we need – toilet paper anyone?

But sometimes when we feel completely out of control, God has the best opportunity to do some of His greatest work. Our own agenda and our own self-will often blocks what God wants to do. In our busy schedules, we put off time seeking God and push forward trying to do what “we” know is best . . . whatever that is.

So what does God want to do in our lives in the midst of this lockdown?

In my book, Broken Heart on Hold, I talk about taking a coffee break with God when times of marital chaos interrupt our life. Perhaps what’s happening all over our country now gives us another opportunity to take a coffee break with God .

Where is God leading you right now?

If you have extra time during this lockdown, take a day with God. Spend quality time with Him in His Word. Ask Him to shine a light on the path ahead where He will guide you to encounter His very best.

Start your day by praising Him, remembering the blessings He has given you in the past. “The Lord inhabits the praises of His people” (Psalm 22:3). When we praise God, we invite Him to participate in our lives, to enlarge our vision, to give us hope when hope seems far away from everything we see. And as our heart begins to open to His Word, we will see new things He wants to teach us; we will feel His presence; we will find prayers on our lips for those around us who need His touch. A time that seems enveloped in darkness can be illuminated by the light of God’s truth when we open our hearts completely to His leading.

Where is God leading you this week? How is He speaking to your heart?

Use this strange time of solitude and lockdown to find the answer to that question. Sit down with your Bible and a journal and write down what you believe God is speaking to you. Listen to praise music. Invite Him into your presence. Meditate on His Word. Maybe find a new Christian book to read. If you want suggestions, you can scroll through past author interviews I’ve done on my blog to find a book that meets a need.

God may unwrap new mysteries to you as He sheds light on your journey ahead and the path He wants you to follow.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, and a light on my path.”  Psalm 119: 105

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Dying to Meet Jesus, Author Interview with Randy Kay

We’re living through a scary time in our world with the daily death toll from Covid 19 rising each time we turn on the TV. But author Randy Kay has no fear of death any more. Because of a near death experience a few years back, Randy Kay can encourage those of us in the age of Covid 19 through his description of what it’s like to experience heaven. His new book, Dying to Meet Jesus, begins with his near-death-experience after dying and meeting Jesus in heaven. As CEO of PACEsetters and chairman of TenorCorp, Kay has written for Forbes and the Wall Street Journal.

As we look forward to Easter and the celebration of new life Jesus brings to us through His death and resurrection, Randy’s story gives us a riveting  glimpse into the heaven our God has prepared for us.

Linda: Randy, I understand you have more than 30 years of experience working in business and are the founder of PACEsetters. Tell us more about your background and how you became a Christian.

 Randy: ​I was a devout agnostic in my youth and challenged all religions through a comprehensive study at Northwestern University that I detail in my book.

Our researchers debunked all religions except Christianity. Most religions were created by a single individual or a fusion of beliefs. However, we discovered that the biblical account of God being true was validated with a probability ratio of 1.26 million to one! After that I cried out to an unknown God: “If you’re real, I need to know you as genuinely as I know my loved ones on earth.”

After surviving a near-fatal car crash, I began my sincere search to learn about the God of the Bible. I attended a church near Chicago and responded to an invitation for attendees who wished to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I prayed, and later that night I indeed met Jesus Christ in my spirit. Still, I remained a bit of a skeptic. I certainly did not believe in near-death-experiences (NDEs). That is, until I had my own.

Linda: I watched a TV interview with you and saw that you experienced a miraculous face-to-face encounter with Jesus, meeting Him at the point of death. Do you recall your first thoughts when seeing Jesus in heaven during that near death experience? ​

Randy: Yes, I clinically died from multiple blood clots and a drug-resistant infection throughout my body. My heart stopped beating.

I remember that first time meeting Jesus as vividly as if I were there right now. My “cheek to cheek” meeting with Jesus brings me to tears whenever I think back on it. My first thought in heaven was: “So this is Love.” Jesus hugged me, tightly. He did not have to say that He loved me, because His presence permeated every fiber of my being. I remember a sense of “knowing” – knowing that Jesus was my all, and that nothing could happen to me without Jesus being with me. Perfect peace and comfort possessed me. “I am with you always,” He said. I just caved into His chest. I felt at home like never in this world.

Linda: Can you describe the senses you experienced during your time with Jesus?

Randy: ​In heaven, Jesus fulfilled all of my needs, so I did not long for anything and I certainly had no worldly cares. Being with Jesus was sufficient for me. This is a difficult thing to describe, because that sense is like nothing on this earth. It was total completeness, absolute contentment. Another sense I experienced was that I had all of Jesus’ attention. I knew that He held the cares of the world, but I felt as though I was an audience of one.

As to heaven itself, the colors were more vibrant, the fragrances more aromatic, the landscape more beautiful than anything in this world. Everything was alive. The glory of God rested through the environs, and everyone and everything worshipped the Lord.

I remember the angelic chorus, rows of linens, the joy on the faces of everyone in paradise…there really are no adequate words to describe heaven. It was like walking into another dimension, as though I was viewing a beautifully painted landscape and then suddenly I had stepped into a living version of that landscape.

Linda: What a beautiful, comforting picture you present! Particularly at a time like this. Since your near death experience, have you struggled at all to share this story? How have people reacted to the story of your near death experience?

Randy: ​It took me 14 years before I could share my near death experience publicly. Before then, only a handful of people knew about it. There was no need to share it with others who might trivialize the most important meeting in my life. That is, until I was interviewed on GodTV about a business book I had written, and the interviewer (who was my former pastor), asked me about my near death experience. I cried while sharing my story for the first time publicly.

On the flight back, the Holy Spirit prompted me to write another book. However, this time the Holy Spirit prompted me to write about “our special time together.” At first, sharing this experience was hard. I felt like I was defiling something sacred, but then God’s peace and inspiration filled me, and the writing just flowed out. That is how I wrote Dying to Meet Jesus.

I now pray that readers will know God more intimately after reading this book. Also, I wanted to address the question as to why a loving God allows suffering. I hope that readers will better understand why God allows brokenness and suffering to happen, since I share several stories of brokenness involving others as well as my own sufferings. I share the suffering of my daughter’s struggles with drugs, illness, rape and attempted suicide for the first time. I also share my own struggles with depression. Several others in my life allowed me to share their stories of brokenness also.

Linda: What trials did you face after your near death experience? Did you expect to face more trials, or did you believe that the worst was behind you?

Randy: I never doubted God’s Love after my near death experience, but I did struggle. In fact, some of my greatest sufferings occurred after meeting Jesus. I lost my job, my financial security, and almost lost my family. At times I wondered why God did not just take me when He “had the chance.” However, in heaven, Jesus told me that He was returning me to this world because my purpose had yet to be fulfilled. Since then, I began teaching people how to thrive in life and how to overcome struggles.

Previously, I was a corporate executive. I lost almost all of my savings trying to fulfill the purpose with which God commissioned me, but I never doubted God’s hand in my life. When challenges arise, my Lord tells me to “trust” Him, and that He will always make my path straight. I am continually reminded that God is still with me.

Linda: Did your near death experience change your outlook on life? Please tell us a little about that.

Randy: I know Love as a person and as a guiding presence, and that has made all the difference in my life. I can handle challenges better because of this deeply embedded awareness of Jesus as my friend. He is more real to me than most people I know! I can speak to others about God with more confidence and understanding. And, this has given me an insight into Jesus’ absolute devotion to His children that has transcended into every area of life, both the good and the bad.

Linda: In your book, you say, “Friends, be careful what you pray for.” Why do you have this reminder? ​

Randy: God answers prayer, but He will do it in a way that is best, even if the way to attain what we need is fraught with challenges. God desires our best, whereas we oftentimes desire what is convenient, or what appears good. This world sullies us with its temptations and false teachings. God refines us through a process of redemption. As a father, I know that the most painful process of parenting is allowing my children to go through challenges for their own good. God may allow suffering for a reason, but He will never leave us there. God collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and from those tears He produces a river of abundant life. That is what I saw in heaven.

Linda: During this scary time in our world, what message of hope can you give to people who pick up your book out of fear of dying or bereavement?

Randy: For the believer in Jesus Christ, there is no real death. I never experienced a sense of having died. I only experienced a transition to another place.

Leaving this world will be like leaving your workplace, and then suddenly finding yourself on a glorious vacation with the One who loves you most.  For anyone who has lost a loved one in Christ, know that he/she feels more alive today, as difficult as that may seem. There remains an empty place for those of us who are left behind, but I can assure you that we can look forward to an eternity in heaven with no remembrance of our losses or sufferings.

Grieving for a lost loved one is normal, but only because we will never again see our loved one in this world again. For believers in Jesus Christ, think of dying as similar to saying goodbye at the airport knowing you will not see your loved one for a while, but also knowing that someday, you will meet again. Celebrate that your born-again loved one is experiencing the best time of his or her life. And soon, like a blink of the eye from an eternal perspective, you will meet again in paradise. That will be a “wowsa moment!”

Linda: This is an amazing story, and I know people will be interested in reading more. Where can readers go to connect with you and buy a copy of Dying to Meet Jesus?

Randy: You can find the book at Amazon , Barnes & Noble , Christianbook.com, or your local book store.

Watch Randy Kay’s Interview on the Cornerstone Television Network

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Soul Care When You’re Weary – Interview with Author Edie Melson

When life gets crazy, it can also be exhausting. As troubles mount, time for ourselves dwindle and time with God almost disappears. So how do we take care of ourselves and our relationship with God in the midst of turmoil? How do we strengthen our inner life and find soul care?

Edie Melson calls herself an organized creative, a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers who observes life through the lens of her camera. She’s a writer who feels lost without her camera. Her book, Soul Care When You’re Weary, merges faith and creativity to offer a way forward to those who are overwhelmed by circumstances and unable to find time for rest.  I believe you’ll enjoy hearing about her unique and simple way of connecting with God when the busyness of life threatens to eliminate it.

Linda: The title of this book reached out and grabbed me. I think so many of us are weary for so many reasons. What specifically put you on the path to writing this book?

Edie: This book grew out of a difficult time in my own life. My mother was at the end of caring for my father as he finished his battle with Alzheimer’s. My sister and I were doing our best to help support her and, after years of caregiving, we were all exhausted.

I remember one day in particular crying out to God for help. I knew I needed more of Him to get through this, but I was too tired to spend time in prolonged Bible study or even Bible reading. At night my prayer time most often ended with me falling asleep instead of whispering amen. Everywhere I turned, all I saw was how I was letting everyone down.

In that moment of desperation, I felt God ask me to give Him the small, in-between-times during the day and allow Him to fill me up. He promised to revive my spirit and my strength in ways I never imagined—and He told me to do it using creativity.

Linda: Creativity? What exactly did that process look like?

Edie: Well to begin with, it looked very disorganized and messy. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not an artist—I don’t draw and barely manage to doodle. But creativity is in my blood. My mother is an internationally known watercolorist and mixed media artist and my father is a classical musician turned landscape photographer. Truthfully, if I hadn’t been creative in some respect I’m afraid they’d have kicked me out of the family.

So I went back to my roots and began small. I started carrying a tiny notebook and pack of four colored pencils in my purse. When I was waiting at the hospital or had a few minutes of downtime in my schedule, I’d pull out that notebook and write a word, or phrase or Bible verse. Then I’d color around it. As I took time to be creative, God used that to help me focus on Him. The more I spent time with Him, the more His strength and peace filled my soul.

One day I remembered doodling the word faith and just staring at it, unable to do anything creative with it. Instead, I asked God about faith, what it looked like when the world around me was dark. Before I knew it, I’d drawn a bright yellow circle around the world and felt like God was telling me that faith provides light in the dark.

Linda: How did you take the lessons you learned then and turn them into your book, Soul Care When You’re Weary?

Edie: After daddy passed, I had several people ask me how I got through that time and found myself reluctant to admit that—in essence—play time with God had been my strength. It just sounded so frivolous and unimportant. So I went back to God’s word and searched for passages about creativity and rest, and that led me to the Sabbath. And there I found the truth of what had happened to me.

God reached me by restoring a rhythm of rest to my life that had been missing. I knew that other people were struggling with weariness and I decided to share what I’d learned.

Linda: How does your book, Soul Care When You’re Weary, help with that?

Edie: First of all, Soul Care When You’re Weary is a small book. I filled it with short devotions and prayers that someone could read in three to five minutes. Interspersed with those, I dropped in creative exercises that connect us to God. This is a book to play with. It has room to draw, doodle and be messy—all while focusing on God.

Linda: Tell me more about rest and soul care.

Edie: We have become a society that honors busyness and disdains play. The world around us is continuing to spiral out of control. Our lives are busier and the margin we have available for recovery and peace is shrinking. As we struggle to cope and search for answers, we’ve neglected the legacy of creativity that’s been passed to us from our Heavenly Father. This legacy isn’t frivolous. It’s foundational to the deep relationship with God we all need.

Busyness isn’t the way God designed us to operate. We function best when we have regular times of rest. But these times are supposed to be much more than just taking naps or getting eight hours of sleep every night. They’re times when we connect with our Heavenly Father without distractions. For me, that connection came through creativity.

That experience showed me how I can find the rest I need when I reconnect with God through creativity. There’s something reflective and contemplative that happens when we allow ourselves time to play while focusing on God.

Linda: Do you have some tips on how we can apply this process to our own lives?

Edie: I definitely do. Here’s how I suggest you begin with doodling:

  1. Remember this is a judgment-free zone. We’re not allowed to compare the supposed merit of our results with our expectations or with what anyone else creates. The point of these healing moments is strictly a time of play with our Heavenly Father.
  2. Invite God to join you and ask Him to bring to mind a word or phrase or Bible verse. If all you hear is silence, do a quick search on your phone like this, “Bible verses about peace.” God’s word is healing. It doesn’t matter how we get to it.
  3. Write what comes to mind on a blank sheet of paper.
  4. Add some color and doodles. Remember, judgment-free zone. The point of this is play.
  5. As other related thoughts come to mind, write those down.Pick the colors you love and use them with abandon. Remember that frustration with this process is tied tightly to expectations. Don’t let expectations of how something should look derail your experience with God.

Remember that anything new takes time to feel comfortable—even play—especially if you haven’t played in a long time. God wants to meet you right where you are. There’s no need for a silent get-away to experience the peace He has for you. Instead, dust off your creativity and get ready to spend some memorable—play-time—moments with your Creative Father.

Linda: Where can people find Soul Care When You’re Weary and how can readers find out more about you, your speaking, and your writing?

Edie: You can find out more about me and my books on www.ediemelson.com and through social media.

 

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Platinum Faith – Live Brilliant, Be Resilient, & Know Your Worth, Author Interview with Michelle Medlock Adams

When our faith is challenged in the midst of difficult circumstances, we may wonder if we have enough faith to keep moving forward to claim God’s promises. But according to author Michelle Medlock Adams, this may be our opportunity to grow “platinum faith.” Michelle, an award-winning journalist who has earned over 50 industry awards, is a NY Times best-selling ghostwriter and author with close to 4 million books sold. Her new book, Platinum Faith, shows readers how to live brilliant, be resilient, and know your worth. She joins me here to tell you more.

Linda: I’m intrigued with the title of your book, Platinum Faith. Can you tell us what you mean by platinum faith? What makes our faith ‘platinum’?

Michelle: Platinum exemplifies some of the most rare, useful qualities of all metals. It’s precious; it’s valuable; it’s malleable; it’s able to resist corrosion; it can withstand the heat; it has a heavy presence; it shines brightly; it’s able to bond easily and so much more. These characteristics are also favored qualities for those who desire to grow in their Christian faith. That’s why we have chosen to highlight twelve platinum properties, and how they relate to our walk of faith. More specifically, we delve into how they parallel our divine calling, our eternal value, and the unlimited love and blessings that He desires for us.

Each chapter features a platinum property, a promise, a platinum project, and a prayer. By combining meaningful stories from our own lives with truths from the Word of God, we challenge you to pursue platinum faith. #progressnotperfection

Platinum faith doesn’t mean perfect faith; it just means “all-in” faith. Though we might not walk in platinum faith every day, the Bible assures us that we all have a measure of faith, which means we all have the potential to grow our faith. And, that’s what this book is all about—growing closer to God and walking in confidence that your life is valuable and counts for God’s kingdom. 

Linda: I know you went through some challenging times during the writing of this book. How did writing Platinum Faith increase your own faith? 

Michelle: It was a difficult season. In fact, during the beginning stages of writing Platinum Faith, I received news that my 14-month-old grandson, Bear, was diagnosed with an inoperable brainstem tumor. Of course, when I received the news, I certainly didn’t feel full of faith. I felt full of fear. It was a turning point in my life, and I wrote about the struggle I had in the midst of facing this bad news. That’s in Chapter one which is called “All In Faith.” That’s the kind of faith you have to possess when you receive earth-shattering news. (Update: Bear is doing great. Every MRI since the original one in January has shown no change in the tumor at all, so the doctors believe that it’s benign. Praise the Lord.) But, during those seasons of bad news or difficult situations, you have to dig your heels in the Word of God and say, “I’m all in, Lord. I trust You. I have faith that You not only have all the answers, You are the answer!”

Bethany Jett, my co-author, and I both felt this was the hardest book we’ve ever written. Each chapter caused us to really seek God and come face-to-face with our own shortcomings. Writing a book about faith will cause you to take inventory of your own life. It was a humbling experience, and though it was difficult, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I drew closer to God, closer to my coauthor, and it caused me to press into the things of God like never before.

Linda: Do the ideas behind Platinum Faith apply to marriage in any way? 

Michelle: As any spouse will tell you, it takes all kinds of faith to have a happy, healthy marriage, especially in today’s world. The devil is after our families, so as women of faith, we need to pray—in faith—for our husbands and our children. What do I mean by “praying in faith”? I mean standing on those scriptures regarding your family and never giving up until you see the breakthroughs that you’re believing God to do in the lives of your loved ones.

Actually, every aspect of Platinum Faith that we cover such as: being malleable and being responsive and not reactive applies to marriage. It takes faith—platinum faith—to be in a healthy relationship, day in and day out. Let’s face it; marriage isn’t always easy, but I’ve been married to Jeff for over 28 years, and I’m thankful that we choose to see the best in each other and love one another on the good days and the not-so-good days. Faith and love go hand-in-hand. You really can’t have one without the other, and you’ll need both to have a healthy, happy marriage. When our youngest daughter battled anorexia; when my mom was dying of cancer; when Jeff’s father was in the nursing home; and so many other difficult situations that we’ve been through together—if we hadn’t had faith in God and faith in one another, we couldn’t have survived. But we did, and we continue to do so. This faith walk is a journey. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, and some days, we can grow weary. But on those days, we can turn to our Heavenly Father and He will carry us.

Linda: Some of us are hard on ourselves and just don’t feel worthy of God’s love. I believe you address that in Platinum Faith. Does feeling unworthy affect our faith?

Michelle: Good question. One of the properties of platinum is that it’s so rare and valuable. We cover that in Chapter 4. I truly believe that until we grasp just how much our Father loves us and treasures us, it’s almost impossible to walk in faith. It’s hard to trust Him because we aren’t sure if He loves us. That’s why it’s so important to meditate on the scriptures that tell us just how much God loves us and values us—scriptures like Jeremiah 31:3 that says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” We need to see ourselves through our Heavenly Father’s eyes. Once you understand how valuable you are and know in your “knower” that God treasures you and has a plan for you, your faith will grow. Your joy level will increase. You won’t be moved by difficult circumstances because you’ll have faith in God, knowing He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Linda: How do you walk in your calling when you feel overwhelmed to do what God is calling you to do?

Michelle: The good news is this: God never calls us without equipping us. But He also wants us to have dreams that are way bigger than we feel qualified to fulfill. If we could handle it all on our own without God, that wouldn’t take any faith at all. But, as we grow in our faith and learn His voice and follow after Him, we can accomplish much for the Kingdom.

Linda: I’ve heard you talk about having “Sassy Faith”—what is that? 

Michelle: Yes, I often say, “It’s time to get your sassy faith on!” What I mean by that is this: it’s time to get up on the inside and walk in Platinum Faith. Remember the story of the synagogue ruler whose little girl had died? (Mark 5) After Jesus told the father not to be afraid and only believe, he went to the home of the little girl and took her hand and said: “Talitha koum” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” I think the Lord is saying that same thing to us—“Child of God, I say to you, get up!” Get up and get that sassy faith on! Stand on the Word of God. Believe that He has a plan for your life. Believe that He has called you and equipped you. And, when you’ve done everything else, stand. Stand in faith, knowing that God has got you! Sassy Faith is Platinum Faith, and we need all the sass we can get to do Kingdom work for such a time as this.

Linda: I love that! Tell me now, what would be the one thing—the most important thing—you want a reader to take away after reading your book?

 Michelle: One thing…I guess it would be that God didn’t call us to have perfect faith. He says in His Word that we are attaining from glory to glory, so I would want people to know that it’s a journey of faith. The Bible tells us that we are all given a measure of faith, but let’s not settle there. Let’s strive for Platinum Faith. It’s about progress, not perfection.

Linda: One last question: you’ve written a number of adult books, but I know you’ve also written some award winning children’s books, including “C is for Christmas.” Since Christmas is right around the corner, some readers might like to see what else you have written. Where can people find out more about your books and ministry?

Michelle: Thank you for asking. Yes, I have written more than 60 children’s books. I love speaking into the lives of little ones. My holiday books include: “C is for Christmas” “What is Christmas?” and “Happy Birthday, Jesus!” I might mention that “What is Christmas?” is part of my award-winning “What is?” series with WorthyKids that also includes: “What is Easter?” “What is Thanksgiving” “What is Halloween?” and “What is America?”

In January, my book, “Cuddle-Up Prayers” debuts with WorthyKids, and I have another children’s book coming out in April called, “I Love You Bigger Than the Sky.”

You can find all of my books at www.michellemedlockadams.com or anywhere books are sold.

I love speaking at women’s conferences and philanthropic events, and readers can find me under “Michelle Medlock Adams” at womenspeakers.com to see my topics and listen to a sample of my speaking.

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A Wonderful Love Letter

Photo by Himesh Kumar Behera on Unsplash

I read an inspiring letter from a soldier to his wife written a week before he was killed in battle. As I read, I thought about how much that letter must have meant to her. I imagine how his wife must have read that love letter many times after his death, over and over. What an assurance of his love it must have been! Reading the letter would bring him near once again and remind her of all they had together.

We have a letter like that also. And it is from the One who loves us more than anyone else ever has or ever will. It is a love letter from God.

Did you ever have a lover who told you, “I have so much to tell you, and I’m sending you a letter that will tell you everything,” and then when you got the letter, you set it aside and didn’t read it?

That is what we do when we put aside God’s Word and don’t read it. God’s Word is His love letter to us. In it He tells the story of His love—how He has chased us and wooed us and spoken to us through the ages. In this love letter He lays out His plans for us, tells us about the gifts He has for us and how we can obtain them. He shares His heart by telling us what’s important to Him and how we can come close to Him. He gives intimate clues in how to communicate with Him – how to both talk to Him and listen to Him.

How much God loves you

Do you fully understand just how much God loves you? In Ephesians 3, Paul expresses with great emotion his desire for you “to be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep and how high his love really is, and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at least you will be filled up with God himself.”  (Ephesians 3: 18-19 TLB)

In John 3:16, the apostle John tells us just how much God loves us and what He did to demonstrate that love. “For God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son so that anyone who believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Then in Romans 8:34-35, 38-39, Paul again pleads with us to grasp the breadth and strength of Christ’s love “who died for us and came back to life again for us and is sitting at the place of highest honor next to God, pleading for us there in heaven. . . .  Who then,” he asks, “can ever keep Christ’s love from us?”

Paul gives us the answer to that question with great authority.  “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels won’t, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God’s love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are—high above the sky, or in the deepest ocean—nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us.” (emphasis mine)

Wow! How could anyone’s love be greater than that? How could we ever receive a love letter that carries more emotion, sincerity, and power? Why would you and I not want to read that over and over?

It’s there in that love letter

The very first time I ever read Romans 8, I cried from sheer amazement that the God of the universe could love me so much. If you ever need to be reminded of how much God loves you in spite of your disappointments and failures, read Romans 8. The power of God’s love will grab hold of your heart, and you will know that no earthly love could ever be a match for the love of our wonderful Lord.

Earthly love will sometimes fail us. People will disillusion us. But God’s love will hold us up through each and every crisis we face or obstacle we need to overcome.

With Paul in his letter to the Ephesians in chapter 3: 17, 18, I pray that as you pick up the love letter God has written for you and begin to read it, “your roots [will] go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love so you will “be able to feel and understand . . . how long, how wide, how deep and how high his love really is.”

Scripture references taken from the Living Bible.

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If you need help to heal a hurting marriage, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, offers the tools you need to win back the love in your relationship even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

 

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