Healthy Living Series—Interview with author, Susan Neal

August 26, 2020 by 1 Comment

In the year of Covid, our lives are more intertwined with health concerns than ever before. Stress exacerbates health issues, and health issues exacerbate stress. Finances, jobs, school, relationships and health all lumped together in a pot of worry stew. When facing other challenges in life, our health sometimes takes a back seat. But during these precarious times, we need to take care of ourselves and be aware of how to nurture our bodies so we can stay strong and healthy. If you are going through challenging times with health, weight, or diet, award winning author Susan Neal’s series of books called the Healthy Living Series may provide the encouragement you need to live a healthier, more productive life. Susan is an RN with a masters in health science and an MBA and has a passion to help others improve their health.

Linda: Susan, what prompted you to write this series of books that you call the Healthy Living Series?

Susan: When my sister was diagnosed with gluten sensitivity, she asked me to help her stop eating wheat. From my experience, this is difficult to do, so I created a seven-step plan for her to follow. My sister took the seven-step plan to heart. Her liver enzymes returned to normal, her pre-diabetic state reversed, and her irritable bowel symptoms disappeared. However, she continued to eat sugary foods, not recognizing their effect on her health.

One year later, she got rosacea and needed to get off sugar as it contributed to this condition. She repeated the same seven-steps with success. But more than that she lost a lot of weight, her joints no longer ached, and she felt energized. The rosacea disappeared too! I thought others could be helped through this seven-step plan so I wrote 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates.

Linda: Would you describe for us that 7 step plan?

Susan:  Yes, these are the 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates

  1. Decide to improve your health through proper nutrition.
  2. Acquire a support system and knowledge to help make a lifestyle change.
  3. Clean out the pantry and refrigerator by removing unhealthy foods and clean out your emotions with God.
  4. Purchase healthy foods plus an anti-Candida cleanse.
  5. Plan for the start date to begin changing your eating habits.
  6. Prepare and eat foods differently than you did before.
  7. Improve your health through continuing this new lifestyle, never turning back to your old eating habits.

Linda: I understand this is a series of three books. What are the three books included in, Healthy Living Series: 3 Books in 1?

Susan: The first book in the series, 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates, won the Selah award and became a number #1 Amazon best seller. I wrote the second book, Christian Study for 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates, to help readers deal with emotional eating. Sometimes emotional wounds from trauma, abuse, or tragedy need healing to stop the cycle of emotional eating. The final book in the series, Healthy Living Journal, won the Golden Scrolls Award for best inspirational gift book. It helps track your eating and well-being to figure out if a specific food is causing problems. I put all three books into a mega book, Healthy Living Series: 3 Books in 1 so readers could purchase all three books for the price of two. You can click here and scroll down the page to read the first chapter of each of these books.

Linda: There’s a lot of health books out there, but I think you add something more to help the process be more successful.  From the title of your second book, it sounds like these books are written from a Christian perspective.

Susan: Yes, they are. Changing ones eating habits is challenging. I know because I craved sugar and carbs when I lost my health nine years ago. I suffered with ten medical diagnoses and two surgeries. One of those issues, a Candida overgrowth in my gut, caused me to desire the wrong kind of foods. As I was struggling to remove alcohol, sugar, and refined carbohydrates from my diet, I used God’s mighty weapons of prayer and the sword of the Spirit to fight temptation. I’ve incorporated many spiritual tactics into these books such as having a prayer/accountability partner. I couldn’t have regained my health without God’s help. 

Linda: I think that is important. Even when we realize we need to change our eating habits, it can be very hard to do. What advice do you have for our readers?

Susan: Many people have lost hope about recovering their health or weight as 50 percent of Americans suffer with a chronic illness and 40 percent experience obesity. But there is hope! God gave us nutritious, healthy food to eat. We need to replace processed food with God’s food, and gain knowledge and spiritual support to reclaim our health. With God’s help, you can!

If you choose to embark on this plan, you will radically improve your health and energy by merely removing sugars and refined carbohydrates. However, this plan is not a diet, where once you complete the seven steps, you’re done. This is a lifestyle change. Typically, diets are unsuccessful because after people lose their desired weight, they go back to old eating habits, which caused them to gain weight in the first place, and find themselves facing the same challenges again and again.

That’s why I’ve gone even deeper and created a course, 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Health and Optimal Weight. This course helps identify the root cause of poor eating habits and resolve it. Once resolved, you get your normal palate and self-control back. When you make this lifestyle change you can experience the life God intended for you to live. You will also be in better shape to serve Him better. 

Linda: With everyone having to shelter at home, are there supplements to take or foods to eat that can help people stay healthier so they are more apt to ward off this virus?

In addition to prevention tactics that I’ll list below, boost your immune system so your body can fight off the virus if you become exposed to it. Follow these immune building tips:

  • Take echinacea. I’ve taken Esberitox for over twenty years. This supplement includes two varieties of echinacea. The chewable tablets taste similar to SweetTarts so kids take them easily.
  • Avoid high sugar foods because sugar decreases the immune system. Don’t eat foods or beverages with added sugar, that includes sugar-laden coffee drinks.
  • Take a daily probiotic to enhance your gut microbiome which is where many of your immune cells are derived.
  • Avoid getting extremely cold. Lowering your body temperature reduces your immune system.
  • Eat a balanced diet with lots of vegetables and fruits. Avoid processed foods.
  • Increase your vitamin C intake by taking a supplement and eating citrus fruits.
  • Get your vitamin D through a supplement or get in the sun.
  • Exercise a couple of times a week.
  • Moderate your alcohol intake.
  • Sleep at least eight hours.

If you are interested in more immune boosting tips watch a YouTube video that Tina Yeager and I created “Immune Boosters You Might Already Have in Your Kitchen.”

Linda:  What are the prevention tactics people need to use to protect their health and stay healthy?

Susan: The number one thing you can do is wear a mask when you are in public. In addition, wash your hands for up to one minute, especially after touching surfaces in public places. After washing my hands in a public restroom, I grab an extra paper towel and use it to open the bathroom door to leave. I use that same paper towel to push the door open to exit the building. I leave the paper towel on the floorboard of my car to discard later.

Also, keep a container of antibacterial wipes in your car. Use a wipe to open doors to public buildings. After shopping, especially when handling money or signing with a public credit card pen, wipe your hands with a wipe when you return to your vehicle. Phones and purses pick up a lot of germs. Wipe off the bottom of your purse, wallet, and phone with an antiseptic wipe.

Linda: Where can readers find more about you and your books in the Healthy Living Series?

Susan: Readers can find my books, courses, and numerous free gifts such as 7-Days to Reboot Your Metabolism at SusanUNeal.com. My motto is “Inspiring others to improve their health so they can serve God better.” May God bless your readers’ endeavor to improve health and well-being.

 

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Wounded Women of the Bible, Finding Hope When It Hurts – Interview with co-author Tina Samples

July 16, 2020 by 3 Comments

Today I’m happy to be interviewing Tina Samples, co-author of Wounded Women of the Bible: Finding Hope When Life Hurts. In her book, Tina and co-author Dena Dyer share stories of hope from both the Bible and real life, which I think will encourage many of you. Tina is a Colorado-based writer, speaker, and worship leader, who serves alongside her husband Dave, the pastor of Grace River Church in Windsor, Colorado.

 Linda: Tina, tell me what prompted the writing of this book?

Tina: As a pastor’s wife, I minister to many hurting and wounded women. I started meeting with four women who were having extreme difficulties in their marriage. After our first meeting, I left wishing there was some kind of study I could use to help these women through their crises and suffering. A few days later I awoke with my name being called. “Tina!” The clock read 3:00am. Thinking perhaps my son was calling for me, I listened.  But I did not hear my son. Instead, I heard, “Tina, women in the Bible who have been wounded.” I asked the Lord if I should write about that and in my spirit heard him say yes. I then began the process of researching women in the Bible who were wounded. I had no idea the project would turn into anything more. Later on, I realized this project was bigger than me and asked my wonderful friend Dena Dyer, if she would like to help write the book. I’m so glad she agreed.

Linda:  The premise of Wounded Women of the Bible is that women today are not alone: women all around them, and women in the past (in the Bible), have experienced the same difficulties. What are some of the stories from Wounded Women of the Bible?

Tina: As we look through the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, we find many women who experienced deep pain in a variety of ways. In Wounded Women of the Bible, we look at these women’s lives. We touch on the two women in Solomon’s court and the battle of betraying a friend. We take a look at Abigail who seemed to have it all, yet behind closed doors lived with a mean and surly man. The readers will hear the desperation from the widow of Zarephath who struggled to make it through a famine. They will read about Jephthah and the wounding a father can place on their daughters. This book touches on wounded relationships and women who suffered through infertility. We read Jochebed’s story of having to release a child. And then there is Dinah who was sexually violated. Women will be able to relate to so many women in this book because we’ve been through it ourselves.

Dena did a wonderful job interviewing women in today’s world who experienced similar wounds as the biblical women. Modern day women share their own stories of healing. Women will come away with a greater understanding that they are not alone in their quest to find freedom.

Linda:  Along those lines, what are some of the stories from your own past that are used in the book?

Tina:  I grew up in poverty. My father stumbled into a life of crime early on in his life. He was a non-believer and my mother was a believer. Through my mother’s influence, we came to know Christ. I share about my own sexual abuse as a child and how God helped me find forgiveness and freedom. I share about a great loss. My brother’s murder was horrific and difficult to overcome.

Dena also shares some of her own personal stories, struggles, wounds, and how God helped her walk through them. The book was difficult at times to write, yet cathartic and healing all at the same time.

Linda: What do readers need to keep in mind when reading Wounded Women of the Bible?

Tina: This book is meant to open eyes and bring insight to how biblical women faced similar wounds that we go through. Our prayer has been that through this book, women will come to face their own hidden wounds and find freedom once and for all. It’s easy for women to cover their pain and past wounds with a band aide, but God wants to take off these superficial fixes and bind the wound in His way. Psalm 147 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” The word binding means to wrap like a turban. Think of a cast. When someone has a broken leg, the doctor casts it so the break can heal. The Lord wants to do the same with our wounds. God wants to wrap them with His healing balm. The balm comes in the form of His words, scripture, Bible passages, walking with us while we work through our hurts, allowing God to love us through them, and receiving His help. We just need to allow God to rip away the band aide we’ve placed on the wound so He can truly heal what’s beneath.

Linda: Pain can be felt in so many ways: the death of a loved one, divorce, infertility, etc. How can one person’s pain help another person if they did not experience the same thing?

Tina: We may not be able to relate to every person’s story but there is one thing we can relate to: the wound. I’ve never met a woman who hasn’t been wounded in some way or another. We can empathize with others by reminding ourselves of the pain we once experienced and how God brought us through that situation. Pain is pain. We can choose to walk through life with other hurting women. So often we have a difficult time doing that due to our own wounds. But when we find freedom – we have the power to minister in ways we never dreamed possible.

Linda:  On your webpage, you have something called the “Wounded Women Pledge.” I have a feeling there might be a story behind this.  Can you tell us the reason for this?”

Tina:  At our previous church, I was wounded by someone close to me. As the pastor’s wife, I found that many women had a difficult time reaching out to me. Many of my friends turned away. I felt abandoned and alone. For some reason women often have a difficult time walking with other hurting women. We judge and turn away too easily. Perhaps the wound gets a little too close to the woman who never fully dealt with her own wound. I’ve heard sad stories from women losing longtime friends because they divorced due to abusive relationships or from infidelity. Those women could not walk with them through their grief or through God restoring them due to sin.  It truly is time to stand up and walk with one another as Christ would have done for us had He been here in the flesh – and continues to do in the Spirit. I encourage readers to take the pledge and decide to walk with wounded and hurting women.”

Linda: What are one or two major points that you would like your readers to take away?

Tina: God is never far away and though it may feel like it, He never gives up on us. His passion is to bring hope and healing into our lives so that we can live life abundantly. There is hope. We never walk alone. Freedom awaits. We just meed to step into it.

I also want readers to find out about other ways to minister to hurting women by taking the Wounded Women Pledge to walk with wounded and hurting women. Also, they can connect with Blogs for the Healing on my webpage @ www.tinasamples.com.

Linda:  Where can readers find out more about your book?

Tina: You can find Wounded Women of the Bible on Amazon,  on my website at https://www.tinasamples.com/ or any other bookstore.

 

 

 

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Anticipatory Grief: The Journey of a Thousand Losses and Endless Grace – Author Interview with Tracy K. Pratt

June 18, 2020 by Leave a Comment

When you know loss is coming, when does grief begin? Afterwards? Or before? And how do you work through it? Tracy K. Pratt’s book, Anticipatory Grief: The Journey of a Thousand Losses and Endless Grace, is a book I have looked forward to sharing on Heart Talk before the writing was even finished. At a writer’s critique group Tracy and I both belong to, Tracy brought one of the chapters of this book to be critiqued when she was still in the process of writing it. The response from a woman in the group who had been battling cancer for years was so  poignant and dramatic, the rest of us ended up in tears. The woman with cancer urged Tracy about the need to have it published. Now it has. This is a book for those who are facing grief but don’t know what to do with it. The writing is beautiful, poetic, and soul warming. I’ll let Tracy describe the book herself –in a way only she can do—in the interview that follows.

Linda: What motivated you to write Anticipatory Grief?

Tracy: I wanted to answer this question: What would I have picked up, read, and found to be good news when our daughter Hannah was growing up?

Grief shadowed my husband, Coleman, and me from the moment Hannah was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF) at 5 weeks old in March, 1982. At that time, the life expectancy was 12 years. Her rough start indicated we would outlive her. Coleman would want to voice his sorrow. As her primary caregiver who fought the disease daily, I could not face that probability. I fought for my dreams that one day she would know the deep love of a man like I did, that she and I would be good friends in my old age.

In March 2007, six months after Hannah’s death, Coleman and I listened to a video in Grief Share. The speaker said as a side note that whenever a loved one is diagnosed with cancer or any life terminating disease, we anticipate their death.

We grieve. Immediately. And continually.

In less than 10 seconds, the speaker gave an identity to the emotions, stress, uncertainty and cloud of sadness we experienced from the moment of her diagnosis to her death. Our “normal” life with CF, which included progressive losses over her lifetime, was real. The speaker’s words lifted the years of unspoken heaviness. Relief overwhelmed us. We exchanged smiles and joined hands.

I want to give that relief to others and lead them to what they may not know. They grieve before loss. It is not a sin but a gift.

Linda: Do you think you achieved your goal? Would you have read this book when Hannah was 12?

Tracy: Yes. Within its pages, my younger self would have found an honest fellow-pilgrim, who did not provide formulas or try to sugar-coat the journey. Instead, she would have found a woman with a voice rich with compassion who knew a hope that does not disappoint in unfixable circumstances.

I would have found the book approachable because of its format. Chapters are easy to read with natural breaks between sections to pause and process the content. The metaphor of autumn pictures well how beauty and goodness bloom in our painful, and unavoidable circumstance.  The use of “I” and “us” sets a conversational tone between the reader and author.

Linda:  What role do you play in the mental and spiritual health of someone in anticipatory grief?

Tracy: I accompany others in their journey as a fellow-pilgrim who has traveled through the autumn of loss more than once and no doubt will again.  My greatest contribution to a traveler’s anticipatory grief is to remember what my younger self needed.  That focus equips me to encourage and assist women so they can live in that tension with healthy habits and hope.

Linda: People have varied opinions about grief’s importance in our lives. What is yours?

Tracy: I believe grief is a gift from God. Unwanted? Yes. Uninvited? Definitely.

But, trustworthy.

I believe the ultimate purpose of grief is to lead us to greater intimacy with Him—greater than what Adam and Eve knew in the Garden of Eden. The core cause of all sorrow is our separation from Him. His greatest grief is our natural bent to choose our own way which began when Adam and Eve doubted God’s goodness.

God is is not distant nor unaware of grief. In Chapter 3 of the book we travel through the Bible beginning in Genesis and see God experienced personal grief. We see in the Gospels Jesus grieved at Lazarus’s tomb, in the Garden of Gethsemane, and most importantly on the cross. There Isaiah’s prophecy (Isaiah 53:6) was realized. God laid on Jesus the sin of us all. I believe in that moment when He cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”, Jesus knew the full weight of our deepest grief.  Our separation from Him.

That is why I believe grief’s greatest and good purpose is to lead us to God who does not judge us for grieving our treasures. Our broken hearts cry Jesus’ words in our pain. God does not forsake us. In our anguish, He draws near. Sometimes he pulls us to Himself and whispers, “I know.” Other times He stands silent waiting for us to trust Him.

Grief wakens the soul to our true existence. We read in Genesis 1:26-27 that God shaped us in His image. Solomon writes in Ecclesiastes 3:11 that God placed eternity in the hearts of humans. We are designed for an eternal relationship with Him above other treasures. Grief before and after loss opens the soul to the naked reality that what we hold dear in this world does not satisfy the undying longing in the soul. He does.

Linda:  What specifically do you mean by “treasure”?

Tracy: A treasure is anything or anyone we hold tightly in the heart.

We lose things we love. A job. A house. Cancer, cf, Alzeimer’s and other diseases steal the bloom of our health, or of a child, a spouse, or parent.

Dreams shatter. Mine did as Hannah’s mother. Other circumstances such as drug or alcohol addiction crush a parent’s dream. A woman lies in bed alone, her heart broken. Her husband wants a divorce. A college quarterback headed for the draft suffers an injury that jeapordizes his promising career. The perpetual single aches for that one true love.

Seasons end. Parents leave their last child at college for their freshman year.

We should treasure things and people. They are gifts from God. But, they die. And we grieve, as we should. Death should not be.

Linda:  Why do you use autumn as a metaphor for anticipatory grief?

Tracy: In autumn, the mountainside’s dress of summer green fades. Deep scarlet, golden yellow, and burnt orange blossom. How ironic. We flock to see leaves die, yet not once does that reality cross our minds. We are in awe of the beauty that blooms.

The earth shifts its face away from the sun. Sap slows. The leaf slowly starves. Its true color erupts. This pictures the dramatic spiritual transformation that God does in us when winter threatens our treasures. We can be assured as the relentless chill whips about our treasure that the seed of trust burrowed in the soil of His promises will take root come spring.

Linda:  How are you a fellow-pilgrim to other women in their anticipatory grief?

Tracy: Imagine a weekend retreat in mid-October at a lodge in the mountains.

Now envision a place online that refreshes and renews a woman in the autumn of loss with that kind of respite. This is the purpose of my website. It’s tagline is “Beauty blooms in our broken places.”

My blog, Artful Soul Care, on the website, offers restoration like curling up in an overstuffed chair with hands wrapped around a hot mug of cider or cocoa, or on a hike tramping through fallen leaves on the mountain. This is a place to engage with creativity, to receive practical guidance, and to gain spiritual direction so that a woman’s soul is not overwhelmed by the day to day tension of anticipatory grief.

Paper Plate Studio, also on the website, provides visual refreshment. Photographs, paintings, posters, and cards are available for purchase. They celebrate God’s good eternal story, His hope, beauty,  and goodness we discover in the insignifcant, broken, and sorrowful places of our lives.

Artful Soul Care on Facebook is a private group that opens Wednesday, July 1. That day, and the following three Wednesdays at 7 pm, I will be doing four part session “Four Habits for the Journey.” Reading the book is not necessary nor is being in anticipatory grief to join the group. We all have traveled or will travel the autumn of loss in big and small life-changing ways. And, we have, or will have friends who live in the season. Joining provides community, encouragement, practical helps for the journey and keeps God’s eagle perspective in sight while traveling.

Linda: Where can people purchase your book, Anticipatory Grief?

Tracy: Anticipatory Grief: The Journey of a Thousand Losses and Endless Grace can be found on Tracy’s website and on Amazon,

 

 

 

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Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, Interview with Author Rebecca Carpenter

May 7, 2020 by Leave a Comment

As I begin this interview with author Rebecca Carpenter, over 68,000 people are reported to have died from Covid 19 in the United States and over 259,000 throughout the world. The subject of dying is not far from our minds. But for some of us the subject is far too personal. Loved ones have died, and whether or not they died from Covid 19 or another cause, they have been taken from us. We grieve for them.

When Rebecca Carpenter’s husband died six years ago, she grieved also, but in the midst of her grief God brought a comfort to her she didn’t expect. Her book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, has brought comfort and solace to many, and I pray it can also comfort some of you who have lost loved ones.

Linda: Rebecca, what prompted you to write a book on grief?  

Rebecca: I certainly didn’t plan to write a book about grief. For years, I wrote devotionals about nature and articles for my church, magazines, and anthologies. Sometimes I sent emails of my work and printed out stories for friends. When people commented that they enjoyed reading my writings, my son set up a blog for me.

After I retired, I spent hours on my patio watching wildlife and getting ideas for my devotionals. My husband Alan and I traveled around the world so I also wrote about our trips. He constantly encouraged me to write. My parents often told me how much they liked what I wrote.

Difficult situations changed my life. Mother’s health deteriorated. Leukemia, diabetes, and other health issues curtailed her normally active life.

Not long after that, Alan learned he had idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. For a while his symptoms were mild. But they increased and our traveling stopped. Even normal daily activities wore him out. Except for doctor visits, he stayed home.

While I dealt with both of them, my dad’s health also declined. For years, he fought to regain strength after heart surgeries, knee surgeries, cancer and multiple other health problems. But when constantly visiting my mom in the nursing home, he had multiple strokes and never fully recovered from the major ones.

My life consisted of caring for Alan and taking care of financial and health matters for my parents. Stress joined me every day. Writing provided a release for my pain and grief at knowing I was losing them.

Within eleven months, all three passed away. Writing every day helped me deal with my losses. When I shared my writings, friends told me to put my devotionals into a book.

At first I resisted because writing a book seemed overwhelming.  But over and over, I heard I should do it. Finally, I felt God telling me the book would help others who were grieving. Only then did I realize I had to do it and God would help me.

Since Alan, mom and dad had encouraged me to write, I felt a book on grief would be a tribute to them.

Linda: Why did you choose the title Ambushed by Glory in My Grief? 

When I was mourning the loss of my husband, my mom, and my dad, God often showed up in wonderful but unexpected ways. 

At times, I felt foggy and unfocused. Just when I thought I was handling grief well, a memory, song or situation threw me back into sadness and tears. It helped just to discover my feelings were normal, which I learned by attending Griefshare, a Christian support group for people who are grieving. At Griefshare, I learned grief ambushed me.

When I shared my writings and my need for a title in my writers critique group at Word Weavers International, one of my fellow writers suggested this title. It was perfect.

Linda: Does your book cover represent anything special?

Rebecca: Yes, it does. With God ambushing me over and over with surprises of His glory, I wanted to show light with the darkness. I used a picture of sunrise over my lake.

The lake calms me and constantly provides beauty and lessons from His creation. Sunrises, eagles in the trees, ducks on the lake, flowers of all kinds are a few examples. I feel blessed every time I look out over the lake and know God is with me through all kinds of circumstances. I wanted my book to show that even in dark times, Jesus shows up as the Light.

Linda: How did Alan’s illness affect your marriage?

Rebecca: We had only been married three years when he received his diagnosis. However, we dated for seven years before our marriage, which was the year we both retired.

Because we both had been single for a long time, we didn’t jump into marriage again quickly. I had been single for sixteen years and he was single for twenty-six. When we finally married, we looked at things differently than we would have as youngsters. Although both of us had our own ideas of how to do things, a sense of humor helped prevent major struggles.

We enjoyed working together, traveling and going on mission trips. He always looked out for me and took care of chores I had been used to doing myself as a single parent. I felt pampered. I loved doing things for him too.

After our last mission trip, he felt worse. When we visited his doctor, Alan shocked me by asking the doctor how long he had to live. Although I knew he was more fatigued, I didn’t want to admit the terminal disease was taking his life. Our time together was supposed to be much longer.

The doctor said, “Six months.”

I could hardly breathe. Somehow, I made it to the car and picked Alan up from a wheelchair in front of the building. I had become his caregiver. No longer could he take care of me like I was used to. I hated the role reversal and so did he.

When we got home, he called hospice and they came out that day. He began his journey of dying with a purpose. On a legal sized paper, he wrote a long list of items to accomplish for his limited time. Most of what he wrote benefited me. He wanted to make life easier for me before he died and after he was gone.

Every day, I think of how much he loved me and showed it by using his limited energy for tasks like making phone calls to insurance companies, buying a new car and bike for me, and giving away some of his clothes.

There was sadness during his final months, but our love for each other pushed it to the side. We wanted to make the most of every day. We didn’t argue or complain but enjoyed being together.

Unfortunately, the doctor was wrong. Alan only lived two months longer and not six.

Linda: It sounds like Alan did indeed take care of you, even in those months before he died. Since that time, how has publishing your book changed your life?

Rebecca: Frequently, I hear from people who have read my book and have been encouraged. There is a ripple effect as they give my book to others who are grieving. People open up to me in their pain because they know I understand.

I feel compassion in a new way for those with losses. My heart hurts for them. Because I have been comforted, I can do the same for them. I ask God each day to show me who I can help and frequently, it is someone who is grieving.

Linda: Have you finished grieving after six years?

Rebecca: No. However, the grief is less intense and more like an ache instead of a sharp pain. Ambushes still occur but less frequently. Last year on Alan’s birthday, I cried easily for two days. The year before I didn’t cry at all. I have learned grief is unpredictable but so are the wonderful ambushes of God. He has been with me through the entire process and enables me to reach out to others who are grieving.

Linda: Where can people find your book, Ambushed by Glory in My Grief, and how can they find your blog?

Rebecca: People can find my book on Amazon in both print and kindle formats and also in some local Christian bookstores. I’d love to have people visit me on my blog at http://rebeccacarpenter.blogspot.com

 

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Dying to Meet Jesus, Author Interview with Randy Kay

April 9, 2020 by 1 Comment

We’re living through a scary time in our world with the daily death toll from Covid 19 rising each time we turn on the TV. But author Randy Kay has no fear of death any more. Because of a near death experience a few years back, Randy Kay can encourage those of us in the age of Covid 19 through his description of what it’s like to experience heaven. His new book, Dying to Meet Jesus, begins with his near-death-experience after dying and meeting Jesus in heaven. As CEO of PACEsetters and chairman of TenorCorp, Kay has written for Forbes and the Wall Street Journal.

As we look forward to Easter and the celebration of new life Jesus brings to us through His death and resurrection, Randy’s story gives us a riveting  glimpse into the heaven our God has prepared for us.

Linda: Randy, I understand you have more than 30 years of experience working in business and are the founder of PACEsetters. Tell us more about your background and how you became a Christian.

 Randy: ​I was a devout agnostic in my youth and challenged all religions through a comprehensive study at Northwestern University that I detail in my book.

Our researchers debunked all religions except Christianity. Most religions were created by a single individual or a fusion of beliefs. However, we discovered that the biblical account of God being true was validated with a probability ratio of 1.26 million to one! After that I cried out to an unknown God: “If you’re real, I need to know you as genuinely as I know my loved ones on earth.”

After surviving a near-fatal car crash, I began my sincere search to learn about the God of the Bible. I attended a church near Chicago and responded to an invitation for attendees who wished to receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I prayed, and later that night I indeed met Jesus Christ in my spirit. Still, I remained a bit of a skeptic. I certainly did not believe in near-death-experiences (NDEs). That is, until I had my own.

Linda: I watched a TV interview with you and saw that you experienced a miraculous face-to-face encounter with Jesus, meeting Him at the point of death. Do you recall your first thoughts when seeing Jesus in heaven during that near death experience? ​

Randy: Yes, I clinically died from multiple blood clots and a drug-resistant infection throughout my body. My heart stopped beating.

I remember that first time meeting Jesus as vividly as if I were there right now. My “cheek to cheek” meeting with Jesus brings me to tears whenever I think back on it. My first thought in heaven was: “So this is Love.” Jesus hugged me, tightly. He did not have to say that He loved me, because His presence permeated every fiber of my being. I remember a sense of “knowing” – knowing that Jesus was my all, and that nothing could happen to me without Jesus being with me. Perfect peace and comfort possessed me. “I am with you always,” He said. I just caved into His chest. I felt at home like never in this world.

Linda: Can you describe the senses you experienced during your time with Jesus?

Randy: ​In heaven, Jesus fulfilled all of my needs, so I did not long for anything and I certainly had no worldly cares. Being with Jesus was sufficient for me. This is a difficult thing to describe, because that sense is like nothing on this earth. It was total completeness, absolute contentment. Another sense I experienced was that I had all of Jesus’ attention. I knew that He held the cares of the world, but I felt as though I was an audience of one.

As to heaven itself, the colors were more vibrant, the fragrances more aromatic, the landscape more beautiful than anything in this world. Everything was alive. The glory of God rested through the environs, and everyone and everything worshipped the Lord.

I remember the angelic chorus, rows of linens, the joy on the faces of everyone in paradise…there really are no adequate words to describe heaven. It was like walking into another dimension, as though I was viewing a beautifully painted landscape and then suddenly I had stepped into a living version of that landscape.

Linda: What a beautiful, comforting picture you present! Particularly at a time like this. Since your near death experience, have you struggled at all to share this story? How have people reacted to the story of your near death experience?

Randy: ​It took me 14 years before I could share my near death experience publicly. Before then, only a handful of people knew about it. There was no need to share it with others who might trivialize the most important meeting in my life. That is, until I was interviewed on GodTV about a business book I had written, and the interviewer (who was my former pastor), asked me about my near death experience. I cried while sharing my story for the first time publicly.

On the flight back, the Holy Spirit prompted me to write another book. However, this time the Holy Spirit prompted me to write about “our special time together.” At first, sharing this experience was hard. I felt like I was defiling something sacred, but then God’s peace and inspiration filled me, and the writing just flowed out. That is how I wrote Dying to Meet Jesus.

I now pray that readers will know God more intimately after reading this book. Also, I wanted to address the question as to why a loving God allows suffering. I hope that readers will better understand why God allows brokenness and suffering to happen, since I share several stories of brokenness involving others as well as my own sufferings. I share the suffering of my daughter’s struggles with drugs, illness, rape and attempted suicide for the first time. I also share my own struggles with depression. Several others in my life allowed me to share their stories of brokenness also.

Linda: What trials did you face after your near death experience? Did you expect to face more trials, or did you believe that the worst was behind you?

Randy: I never doubted God’s Love after my near death experience, but I did struggle. In fact, some of my greatest sufferings occurred after meeting Jesus. I lost my job, my financial security, and almost lost my family. At times I wondered why God did not just take me when He “had the chance.” However, in heaven, Jesus told me that He was returning me to this world because my purpose had yet to be fulfilled. Since then, I began teaching people how to thrive in life and how to overcome struggles.

Previously, I was a corporate executive. I lost almost all of my savings trying to fulfill the purpose with which God commissioned me, but I never doubted God’s hand in my life. When challenges arise, my Lord tells me to “trust” Him, and that He will always make my path straight. I am continually reminded that God is still with me.

Linda: Did your near death experience change your outlook on life? Please tell us a little about that.

​Randy: I know Love as a person and as a guiding presence, and that has made all the difference in my life. I can handle challenges better because of this deeply embedded awareness of Jesus as my friend. He is more real to me than most people I know! I can speak to others about God with more confidence and understanding. And, this has given me an insight into Jesus’ absolute devotion to His children that has transcended into every area of life, both the good and the bad.

Linda: In your book, you say, “Friends, be careful what you pray for.” Why do you have this reminder? ​

Randy: God answers prayer, but He will do it in a way that is best, even if the way to attain what we need is fraught with challenges. God desires our best, whereas we oftentimes desire what is convenient, or what appears good. This world sullies us with its temptations and false teachings. God refines us through a process of redemption. As a father, I know that the most painful process of parenting is allowing my children to go through challenges for their own good. God may allow suffering for a reason, but He will never leave us there. God collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and from those tears He produces a river of abundant life. That is what I saw in heaven.

Linda: During this scary time in our world, what message of hope can you give to people who pick up your book out of fear of dying or bereavement?

Randy: For the believer in Jesus Christ, there is no real death. I never experienced a sense of having died. I only experienced a transition to another place.

Leaving this world will be like leaving your workplace, and then suddenly finding yourself on a glorious vacation with the One who loves you most.  For anyone who has lost a loved one in Christ, know that he/she feels more alive today, as difficult as that may seem. There remains an empty place for those of us who are left behind, but I can assure you that we can look forward to an eternity in heaven with no remembrance of our losses or sufferings.

Grieving for a lost loved one is normal, but only because we will never again see our loved one in this world again. For believers in Jesus Christ, think of dying as similar to saying goodbye at the airport knowing you will not see your loved one for a while, but also knowing that someday, you will meet again. Celebrate that your born-again loved one is experiencing the best time of his or her life. And soon, like a blink of the eye from an eternal perspective, you will meet again in paradise. That will be a “wowsa moment!”

Linda: This is an amazing story, and I know people will be interested in reading more. Where can readers go to connect with you and buy a copy of Dying to Meet Jesus?

Randy: You can find the book at Amazon , Barnes & Noble , Christianbook.com, or your local book store.

Watch Randy Kay’s Interview on the Cornerstone Television Network

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Soul Care When You’re Weary – Interview with Author Edie Melson

March 17, 2020 by Leave a Comment

When life gets crazy, it can also be exhausting. As troubles mount, time for ourselves dwindle and time with God almost disappears. So how do we take care of ourselves and our relationship with God in the midst of turmoil? How do we strengthen our inner life and find soul care?

Edie Melson calls herself an organized creative, a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers who observes life through the lens of her camera. She’s a writer who feels lost without her camera. Her book, Soul Care When You’re Weary, merges faith and creativity to offer a way forward to those who are overwhelmed by circumstances and unable to find time for rest.  I believe you’ll enjoy hearing about her unique and simple way of connecting with God when the busyness of life threatens to eliminate it.

Linda: The title of this book reached out and grabbed me. I think so many of us are weary for so many reasons. What specifically put you on the path to writing this book?

Edie: This book grew out of a difficult time in my own life. My mother was at the end of caring for my father as he finished his battle with Alzheimer’s. My sister and I were doing our best to help support her and, after years of caregiving, we were all exhausted.

I remember one day in particular crying out to God for help. I knew I needed more of Him to get through this, but I was too tired to spend time in prolonged Bible study or even Bible reading. At night my prayer time most often ended with me falling asleep instead of whispering amen. Everywhere I turned, all I saw was how I was letting everyone down.

In that moment of desperation, I felt God ask me to give Him the small, in-between-times during the day and allow Him to fill me up. He promised to revive my spirit and my strength in ways I never imagined—and He told me to do it using creativity.

Linda: Creativity? What exactly did that process look like?

Edie: Well to begin with, it looked very disorganized and messy. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not an artist—I don’t draw and barely manage to doodle. But creativity is in my blood. My mother is an internationally known watercolorist and mixed media artist and my father is a classical musician turned landscape photographer. Truthfully, if I hadn’t been creative in some respect I’m afraid they’d have kicked me out of the family.

So I went back to my roots and began small. I started carrying a tiny notebook and pack of four colored pencils in my purse. When I was waiting at the hospital or had a few minutes of downtime in my schedule, I’d pull out that notebook and write a word, or phrase or Bible verse. Then I’d color around it. As I took time to be creative, God used that to help me focus on Him. The more I spent time with Him, the more His strength and peace filled my soul.

One day I remembered doodling the word faith and just staring at it, unable to do anything creative with it. Instead, I asked God about faith, what it looked like when the world around me was dark. Before I knew it, I’d drawn a bright yellow circle around the world and felt like God was telling me that faith provides light in the dark.

Linda: How did you take the lessons you learned then and turn them into your book, Soul Care When You’re Weary?

Edie: After daddy passed, I had several people ask me how I got through that time and found myself reluctant to admit that—in essence—play time with God had been my strength. It just sounded so frivolous and unimportant. So I went back to God’s word and searched for passages about creativity and rest, and that led me to the Sabbath. And there I found the truth of what had happened to me.

God reached me by restoring a rhythm of rest to my life that had been missing. I knew that other people were struggling with weariness and I decided to share what I’d learned.

Linda: How does your book, Soul Care When You’re Weary, help with that?

Edie: First of all, Soul Care When You’re Weary is a small book. I filled it with short devotions and prayers that someone could read in three to five minutes. Interspersed with those, I dropped in creative exercises that connect us to God. This is a book to play with. It has room to draw, doodle and be messy—all while focusing on God.

Linda: Tell me more about rest and soul care.

Edie: We have become a society that honors busyness and disdains play. The world around us is continuing to spiral out of control. Our lives are busier and the margin we have available for recovery and peace is shrinking. As we struggle to cope and search for answers, we’ve neglected the legacy of creativity that’s been passed to us from our Heavenly Father. This legacy isn’t frivolous. It’s foundational to the deep relationship with God we all need.

Busyness isn’t the way God designed us to operate. We function best when we have regular times of rest. But these times are supposed to be much more than just taking naps or getting eight hours of sleep every night. They’re times when we connect with our Heavenly Father without distractions. For me, that connection came through creativity.

That experience showed me how I can find the rest I need when I reconnect with God through creativity. There’s something reflective and contemplative that happens when we allow ourselves time to play while focusing on God.

Linda: Do you have some tips on how we can apply this process to our own lives?

Edie: I definitely do. Here’s how I suggest you begin with doodling:

  1. Remember this is a judgment-free zone. We’re not allowed to compare the supposed merit of our results with our expectations or with what anyone else creates. The point of these healing moments is strictly a time of play with our Heavenly Father.
  2. Invite God to join you and ask Him to bring to mind a word or phrase or Bible verse. If all you hear is silence, do a quick search on your phone like this, “Bible verses about peace.” God’s word is healing. It doesn’t matter how we get to it.
  3. Write what comes to mind on a blank sheet of paper.
  4. Add some color and doodles. Remember, judgment-free zone. The point of this is play.
  5. As other related thoughts come to mind, write those down.Pick the colors you love and use them with abandon. Remember that frustration with this process is tied tightly to expectations. Don’t let expectations of how something should look derail your experience with God.

Remember that anything new takes time to feel comfortable—even play—especially if you haven’t played in a long time. God wants to meet you right where you are. There’s no need for a silent get-away to experience the peace He has for you. Instead, dust off your creativity and get ready to spend some memorable—play-time—moments with your Creative Father.

Linda: Where can people find Soul Care When You’re Weary and how can readers find out more about you, your speaking, and your writing?

Edie: You can find out more about me and my books on www.ediemelson.com and through social media.

 

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Reclaimed, Finding Your Identity after Marital Betrayal, an Interview with Author Stephanie Broersma

February 18, 2020 by Leave a Comment

The pain of infidelity is perhaps the most excruciating a married person can experience. For Stephanie Broersma, it shook her world and sent her on a heartrending journey she never expected. But Stephanie found healing.

In a powerful new book, Reclaimed, Finding Your Identity After Marital Betrayal, Stephanie shares that journey with incredible honesty and vulnerability in what she hopes for the reader can be a 30-day personal journey toward healing. If you have experienced this kind of betrayal, you can walk with Stephanie on this journey as she shares from her heart how God took her from the pain of revelation about her husband’s infidelity onto a path of restoration. In my interview with her this week, you will catch a glimpse of her heart as we talk about her new book. 

Linda: Because of your experience with your husband’s infidelity, you have started Reclaimed Ministry to walk women through their season of brokenness. Your stated goal is to support women with authentic tools and scripture-based guidance that supports them and meets them exactly where they are. You claim that there is healing from infidelity in marriage. How did you find healing from your pain?

 Stephanie: I was extremely intentional when I approached healing but more importantly, I gave myself time to pause and pray. It was easy to respond immediately to the raging emotions I felt post confession so trying to have eyes of grace, humility and forgiveness became the lens I saw life through.

With any serious injury, there is a period when the open wound needs around-the-clock care, but, over time, the need to change the dressings and keep 24 hour watch lessens. My life was consumed with all things healing. I read books, met with mentors, had people daily checking in with me for accountability and emotional support. Eventually, Tim and I began dating again and attempted to rebuild our broken marriage.

So, if you needed a “simple” answer to the question, I’d say I faced the pain head on and understood that to best heal, I needed to clean all the areas of the exposed wound regardless how bad it was going to hurt.

It’s been ten years since confession and there are still moments where Tim and I are learning new things about ourselves and us as a couple. Healing has now turned into growth, and one should never stop growing. 

 Linda: What was your biggest hurdle in writing Reclaimed?

 Stephanie: The biggest hurdle in writing Reclaimed was myself. The self doubt of every word not being good enough for any reader weighed heavy on me. There was fear of what people might think about the details shared and the horror of family members reading the intimate parts of our healing journey. But in the end, the enemy lost and victory has been God’s as testimonies from women share about lives being changed, how my words gave them a voice and the simple thing of being seen has changed how women approach their betrayal journey. Success came when I got out of the way and let God do what He’s planned from the start when Tim and I said yes to sharing. From there, it’s been a humbling road to walk as we hear daily how Reclaimed has given people hope to keep fighting, to move forward and to know that they are loved by a King regardless of the outcome.

Linda: Tell us about the Biblical truth that inspired this book about healing from infidelity. 

Stephanie: The most impactful Biblical truth I’ve learned as I wrote Reclaimed was by far the concept of forgiveness. This began weeks after my husband’s confession and has been the most challenging idea to embrace for myself. We often say to others we forgive them, but how often do you forgive yourself? I said those words to Tim but believing them for me was much harder. I struggled to forgive myself for thinking I allowed this sin to enter our marriage and to have grace towards myself when I couldn’t get over the pain it caused. Over the years of healing and ministry now, I’ve seen this play out in many different situations in my life. Forgiving myself for having a bad day as a parent, not being fully present for my spouse in conversations or for not achieving all the expectations I’ve placed in my own life has proven to be hard. Realizing that forgiveness is not so much for the other person but rather for me, has been a game changer in my life.

Another huge Biblical truth I’ve learned since confession has been living out my identity in Christ. This by far has changed my lens on life, knowing that I am God’s child. The comparison to the pornographic images or trying to be someone I was not, wrecked me. For the longest time, I believed I was the reason my husband stepped outside the marriage; things I was not caused him to look elsewhere. I know now, that nothing about me caused the initial sin. Often, this becomes one of the hardest challenges brides face post discovery or confession. If you don’t know who you are in Christ, then your faith is crippled, allowing the enemy to steal your joy and identity in Christ.

Linda: What is your prayer for your readers as they dive into Reclaimed? What is your goal in sharing? 

Stephanie: My prayer for every reader is that, they too, would embrace the truth of being a child of God. That they would have the discipline to silence the lies of the enemy as they seek healing for their own hearts. A discipline of keeping their eyes on Jesus, the vertical relationship, and allowing God to work through every step of the process. My heart passion is for women to walk forward in wholeness as they seek hope. A bracelet I wear often reminds me of the purpose behind sharing. It says: “I want to inspire people… I want someone to look at me and say, “Because of you, I didn’t give up.”

I didn’t set out to reach the masses; my goal was to reach one heart and make a difference in that Individual’s life. I felt extremely isolated in my journey and I never want a bride to feel that as she pursues her own healing. And perhaps, with the courage it took to share, one other person will have the courage to not give up and believe that hope is possible.

“Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.” Psalm 66:16

I pray for the broken bride who is challenged today to seek God’s beautiful blessings in the middle of her mess. I pray that she would live boldly in the authority she has as a child of God and to feel strength to seek greater healing.

You can find out more about Stephanie’s book, Reclaimed, at https://reclaimedministry.com/ and read more about Stephanie’s everyday life at www.thebroersmafive.blogspot.com

 

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Filed Under: Adultery, BOOKS, Divorce, Feeling unworthy, forgiveness, Grief, Hope, Infidelity, Interviews, Marital separation, Marriage problems, marriage resources, Pain, Reconciliation, Trying to understand, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Platinum Faith – Live Brilliant, Be Resilient, & Know Your Worth, Author Interview with Michelle Medlock Adams

December 5, 2019 by Leave a Comment

When our faith is challenged in the midst of difficult circumstances, we may wonder if we have enough faith to keep moving forward to claim God’s promises. But according to author Michelle Medlock Adams, this may be our opportunity to grow “platinum faith.” Michelle, an award-winning journalist who has earned over 50 industry awards, is a NY Times best-selling ghostwriter and author with close to 4 million books sold. Her new book, Platinum Faith, shows readers how to live brilliant, be resilient, and know your worth. She joins me here to tell you more.

Linda: I’m intrigued with the title of your book, Platinum Faith. Can you tell us what you mean by platinum faith? What makes our faith ‘platinum’?

Michelle: Platinum exemplifies some of the most rare, useful qualities of all metals. It’s precious; it’s valuable; it’s malleable; it’s able to resist corrosion; it can withstand the heat; it has a heavy presence; it shines brightly; it’s able to bond easily and so much more. These characteristics are also favored qualities for those who desire to grow in their Christian faith. That’s why we have chosen to highlight twelve platinum properties, and how they relate to our walk of faith. More specifically, we delve into how they parallel our divine calling, our eternal value, and the unlimited love and blessings that He desires for us.

Each chapter features a platinum property, a promise, a platinum project, and a prayer. By combining meaningful stories from our own lives with truths from the Word of God, we challenge you to pursue platinum faith. #progressnotperfection

Platinum faith doesn’t mean perfect faith; it just means “all-in” faith. Though we might not walk in platinum faith every day, the Bible assures us that we all have a measure of faith, which means we all have the potential to grow our faith. And, that’s what this book is all about—growing closer to God and walking in confidence that your life is valuable and counts for God’s kingdom. 

Linda: I know you went through some challenging times during the writing of this book. How did writing Platinum Faith increase your own faith? 

Michelle: It was a difficult season. In fact, during the beginning stages of writing Platinum Faith, I received news that my 14-month-old grandson, Bear, was diagnosed with an inoperable brainstem tumor. Of course, when I received the news, I certainly didn’t feel full of faith. I felt full of fear. It was a turning point in my life, and I wrote about the struggle I had in the midst of facing this bad news. That’s in Chapter one which is called “All In Faith.” That’s the kind of faith you have to possess when you receive earth-shattering news. (Update: Bear is doing great. Every MRI since the original one in January has shown no change in the tumor at all, so the doctors believe that it’s benign. Praise the Lord.) But, during those seasons of bad news or difficult situations, you have to dig your heels in the Word of God and say, “I’m all in, Lord. I trust You. I have faith that You not only have all the answers, You are the answer!”

Bethany Jett, my co-author, and I both felt this was the hardest book we’ve ever written. Each chapter caused us to really seek God and come face-to-face with our own shortcomings. Writing a book about faith will cause you to take inventory of your own life. It was a humbling experience, and though it was difficult, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I drew closer to God, closer to my coauthor, and it caused me to press into the things of God like never before.

Linda: Do the ideas behind Platinum Faith apply to marriage in any way? 

Michelle: As any spouse will tell you, it takes all kinds of faith to have a happy, healthy marriage, especially in today’s world. The devil is after our families, so as women of faith, we need to pray—in faith—for our husbands and our children. What do I mean by “praying in faith”? I mean standing on those scriptures regarding your family and never giving up until you see the breakthroughs that you’re believing God to do in the lives of your loved ones.

Actually, every aspect of Platinum Faith that we cover such as: being malleable and being responsive and not reactive applies to marriage. It takes faith—platinum faith—to be in a healthy relationship, day in and day out. Let’s face it; marriage isn’t always easy, but I’ve been married to Jeff for over 28 years, and I’m thankful that we choose to see the best in each other and love one another on the good days and the not-so-good days. Faith and love go hand-in-hand. You really can’t have one without the other, and you’ll need both to have a healthy, happy marriage. When our youngest daughter battled anorexia; when my mom was dying of cancer; when Jeff’s father was in the nursing home; and so many other difficult situations that we’ve been through together—if we hadn’t had faith in God and faith in one another, we couldn’t have survived. But we did, and we continue to do so. This faith walk is a journey. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, and some days, we can grow weary. But on those days, we can turn to our Heavenly Father and He will carry us.

Linda: Some of us are hard on ourselves and just don’t feel worthy of God’s love. I believe you address that in Platinum Faith. Does feeling unworthy affect our faith?

Michelle: Good question. One of the properties of platinum is that it’s so rare and valuable. We cover that in Chapter 4. I truly believe that until we grasp just how much our Father loves us and treasures us, it’s almost impossible to walk in faith. It’s hard to trust Him because we aren’t sure if He loves us. That’s why it’s so important to meditate on the scriptures that tell us just how much God loves us and values us—scriptures like Jeremiah 31:3 that says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” We need to see ourselves through our Heavenly Father’s eyes. Once you understand how valuable you are and know in your “knower” that God treasures you and has a plan for you, your faith will grow. Your joy level will increase. You won’t be moved by difficult circumstances because you’ll have faith in God, knowing He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Linda: How do you walk in your calling when you feel overwhelmed to do what God is calling you to do?

Michelle: The good news is this: God never calls us without equipping us. But He also wants us to have dreams that are way bigger than we feel qualified to fulfill. If we could handle it all on our own without God, that wouldn’t take any faith at all. But, as we grow in our faith and learn His voice and follow after Him, we can accomplish much for the Kingdom.

Linda: I’ve heard you talk about having “Sassy Faith”—what is that? 

Michelle: Yes, I often say, “It’s time to get your sassy faith on!” What I mean by that is this: it’s time to get up on the inside and walk in Platinum Faith. Remember the story of the synagogue ruler whose little girl had died? (Mark 5) After Jesus told the father not to be afraid and only believe, he went to the home of the little girl and took her hand and said: “Talitha koum” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” I think the Lord is saying that same thing to us—“Child of God, I say to you, get up!” Get up and get that sassy faith on! Stand on the Word of God. Believe that He has a plan for your life. Believe that He has called you and equipped you. And, when you’ve done everything else, stand. Stand in faith, knowing that God has got you! Sassy Faith is Platinum Faith, and we need all the sass we can get to do Kingdom work for such a time as this.

Linda: I love that! Tell me now, what would be the one thing—the most important thing—you want a reader to take away after reading your book?

 Michelle: One thing…I guess it would be that God didn’t call us to have perfect faith. He says in His Word that we are attaining from glory to glory, so I would want people to know that it’s a journey of faith. The Bible tells us that we are all given a measure of faith, but let’s not settle there. Let’s strive for Platinum Faith. It’s about progress, not perfection.

Linda: One last question: you’ve written a number of adult books, but I know you’ve also written some award winning children’s books, including “C is for Christmas.” Since Christmas is right around the corner, some readers might like to see what else you have written. Where can people find out more about your books and ministry?

Michelle: Thank you for asking. Yes, I have written more than 60 children’s books. I love speaking into the lives of little ones. My holiday books include: “C is for Christmas” “What is Christmas?” and “Happy Birthday, Jesus!” I might mention that “What is Christmas?” is part of my award-winning “What is?” series with WorthyKids that also includes: “What is Easter?” “What is Thanksgiving” “What is Halloween?” and “What is America?”

In January, my book, “Cuddle-Up Prayers” debuts with WorthyKids, and I have another children’s book coming out in April called, “I Love You Bigger Than the Sky.”

You can find all of my books at www.michellemedlockadams.com or anywhere books are sold.

I love speaking at women’s conferences and philanthropic events, and readers can find me under “Michelle Medlock Adams” at womenspeakers.com to see my topics and listen to a sample of my speaking.

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Winning Him Without Words, 10 Keys To Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

October 10, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Author Interview with Lynn Donovan

If you are a Christian married to an unbeliever, you have a unique challenge in walking out your faith. Lynn Donovan, author of Winning Him Without Words, refers to it as a spiritually mismatched marriage and has traveled this path herself.  If you struggle with how to love both God and your spouse in a way that pleases each of them, I believe you will find hope and inspiration in what Lynn has to share with us today.

In addition to her book, Winning Him Without Words, Lynn is the author of two other related books as well: 10 Keys to Thriving in Your Spiritually Mismatched Marriage, and Not Alone, Trusting God To Help You Raise Godly Kids in a Spiritually Mismatched Home. Lynn has appeared on 700 Club Interactive, Focus on the Family, Dr. James Dobson’s FamilyTalk, and FamilyLife Today

But I will let Lynn introduce herself and tell you more about her story.  Here’s Lynn.

Lynn:  Hello everyone! I’m joining your community this week to share a bit about my God-sized story. I’m so thankful that Linda has asked me to be a part of your home.

My friends, my story is about a Prodigal child – me (Luke 15:11-31). I fled my childhood Sunday school days in my twenties. I left my loving Father for all the promises the world said were mine. I met my husband in these dark years and we fell in love. We were married and for the first three years everything was fine. But the world’s lure proved shallow, unkind and untrue. I heard my faithful Father calling in the distance and He wooed me.

I went running home into the arms of my Papa and was thrilled to once again have a relationship with God. But, I ran home dragging my unbelieving spouse behind me kicking and screaming all the way. To say that my husband was unhappy about this new “Man” in my life, was a serious understatement.

I am unequally yoked.

There are many women such as me who sit alone week after week in church. There are women who are married to men who say they believe and yet they are also like me, living in a spiritually mismatched marriage. We are committed to our marriage covenant and wish to honor our Lord no matter how we arrived in our spiritually mismatched marriage.

My journey has been a crazy adventure, filled with loneliness at times, as my husband and I view life through two different world views. On this journey I’ve had to face fears over my children’s salvation, as well as having to live with the disappointment of attending church alone, wanting to be a “normal” couple, and the most difficult—the rejection of my faith by my best friend on earth.

But don’t feel sad for me….  Because I serve the risen Savior and through His love and power, I have discovered that the unequally yoked can truly thrive while living with an unbeliever. We can grow in our faith, love and respect for our spouse, raise our children to a vibrant faith, and walk in the Presence of the Most High.

Linda:  I’m looking forward to hearing what else you learned on this 22 year adventure, Lynn.  But tell me, what does your husband think about this ministry?

Lynn: By the grace of God my husband is fully supportive of my ministry and he encourages me to help others who are also in spiritually mismatched marriages. I call that a “Way cool God thing.”

Thriving in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

Linda:  Lynn, you mentioned to me that you discovered a powerful scripture that changed everything about your marriage.

Lynn: Yes, I did, it is: (Jesus) answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” —Luke 10:27

Linda: How did this make a difference in your marriage?

Lynn: When you love God, His Son and the Spirit with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength you are transformed. Your mind is transformed and then disappointment and bitterness no longer has influence in your life. You discover an unending joy bubbles out of you, flowing onto your husband and your children. This kind of love transforms a heart, heals a body, restores a marriage, and leads little ones to faith.

I had to remove my eyes and expectations from my human husband and place all of my hopes upon Christ. When I did this our marriage moved into THRIVING. My husband found freedom to discover God in his own way without my manipulation and I found my expectations were replaced by God explanations. I was transformed by the love of God.

It’s a miracle! Woo Hoo!!!!

And Linda one of my favorite truths I share is this:

A man can ignore a nagging wife, but he can’t ignore the truth of a transformed life.

Linda:  I like that.  But tell me what do you think is the biggest struggle for those who have a spiritually mismatched marriage?

Lynn:  Across the board, men and women, who are married to pre-believers (we like to call them pre-believers) struggle through a season of loneliness. In our book, Winning Him Without Words, the entire first chapter addresses this season. What I want to tell everyone who is unequally yoked is to press forward during this season. This is the training ground for growing your faith into a vibrant, strong and intimate love relationship with the Father.

You can overcome this. You can attend church alone and receive great blessing from your church family. You will discover the truth of Hebrews 13:5 God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Ministering to Your Children in a Spiritually Mismatched Marriage

Linda:  Many times I hear from people who are concerned as to how a spiritually mismatched marriage will affect the children.  What do you say to that?  And have you found specific encouragement in the Bible to help you on this walk?

Lynn:  Yes, there is actually a passage in the Bible that was written just for us. God knew there would be unbelievers married to believers and that’s why 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 exists. Let’s read it from the Message translation as it is rich in meaning and implication. This verse specifically gives me great comfort as a mother raising children in a spiritually mismatched home.

For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God. —1 Corinthians 7:12-14

I’m learning that when we as believers love Jesus and walk in the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, we impact our environment. And, in fact, we bring God’s will and purposes into our lives and into the lives of our children. The living presence of God within us becomes so powerful that, Paul tells us through the believing spouse every member in the home is sanctified. The living presence of God is so contagious, so powerful, that it creates an umbrella of safety over anyone who comes into that environment.

Linda: So are you saying that it is simply your faith, walked out in the home, which ministers to your children?  Even though your husband has a different worldview, your faith is enough to point the children to God?

Lynn:  Yes, we as believers are uniquely positioned to release the purposes, the love and the very power of God into our children’s lives. Our kids are then included in God’s plans for their lives. They are sanctified—set apart as holy unto the Lord. They belong to the Lord. When we grasp this truth, praying with faith through the Holy Spirit for our kids, we need not live in fear for their salvation. Our love, our example, our Jesus is always enough. I believe this promise for my children’s future and for their eternity.

Wow…… just WOW!  Today if I can talk personally to your readers, I’d like to say, “Let the truth of this passage roar in your spirit. Your faith covers your home. This was a paradigm shift in my thinking and changed how I approached spiritual warfare for my kids and husband. My holiness covers them. They are under the love umbrella of God because an ordinary wife lives with Jesus in her heart and home. Of course, this isn’t a guarantee of their salvation but it is a great encouragement and it keeps me from living in constant fear for their eternity.

And Linda, our faith and our prayers truly impact our spouse. This year, 2019, after 27 years of contending for the faith of my husband, he was baptized on March 14th. As a special gift from the Father, this was ON our wedding anniversary. I pray that those reading this message will find their spouse comes to faith soon. And I affirm each one who is praying for an unsaved loved one. Don’t give up and believe. God is so good and loves your spouse.

Linda: That is so exciting, Lynn! What a beautiful testimony of living out your faith in a spiritually mismatched marriage. That must have been an absolute thrill for you.

Lynn: Yes, and I share more of my overcoming story in my new book, Marching Around Jericho, Praying Your Unsaved Spouse Into The Kingdom. The book launches in January 2020. I pray it reaches the hands of every spouse who walks this unique road of matrimony.

Linda: Thank you, Lynn.  I know this is a serious battle for a number of people reading this interview, and we need a real prayer covering for our homes and our children. Would you like to close us with a prayer?

Lynn: Lord, let this passage bring freedom to every woman and man here today. Let the truth and the power that comes with your living and active Word permeate every place in his or her heart and home. I ask that the Holy Spirit would prove the truth of how the prayers of a righteous mama (or papa) availeth much. In Jesus name. Amen.

Linda, thank you for allowing me to share the hope that I have. Hope is a person, Jesus Christ.

I love you and count it a privilege to be here with your community.

Linda: It’s been a blessing to all of us to hear your story about thriving in the midst of a spiritually mismatched marriage. It’s a message many people need to hear. Please tell us where readers can find out more about your ministry, your book, Winning Him Without Words and your other books.

Lynn:  You can visit me online at http://.spirituallyunequalmarriage.com

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Children, Expectations, faith, Hope, Interviews, Love, marriage, Marriage problems, Receiving Christ, Trusting God, Uncategorized, unequally yoked Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make – Interview with Author Georgia Shaffer

September 18, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Relationships are challenging. And we all make mistakes.. But Georgia Shaffer, author of Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make, believes there are 12 that are common to all of us, and we can avoid them if we can first identify them and then do the work to overcome them.  In addition to authoring several books, Georgia is a licensed psychologist in Pennsylvania, a Christian life coach, and a professional speaker who is a charter member of AACC’s International Christian Coaching Association. Her story and photos are featured in the film Letters to God, where she shares her story as a cancer survivor who was told over 22 years ago that she had a two percent chance of living another 10 years.

It’s a privilege to be able to spend some time with Georgia so she can share bits of her wisdom with you all.  I’m excited about what you’ll hear from her. And, by the way, Men, don’t let the title fool you. This is for you too.

Linda: In your book, Avoiding 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make you talk a lot about relational blind spots. We can all relate to the idea of having visual blind spots when driving, but what do you mean by the term “relational blind spot”?

Georgia: A relational blind spot is our inability to see things in ourselves, or in others close to us, as they really are. A blind spot may also be something we do notice but discount as not important when, in fact, that thing is very significant. About 80 percent of the time, we see our connections with others accurately. But 20 percent of the time, we only think we see ourselves or our relationships clearly, when, in fact, we do not. Unfortunately, self-deception is not the exception.

 Linda: What led you to write about relational blind spots in this book?

 Georgia: Years ago when I was researching for a previous book, I came across the concept of “psychological blind spots.” The source did not refer to them as “relational.” As I thought about how they impact our interactions with others, I decided to call them “relational blind spots.”  What’s interesting is that I never learned about these blind spots, even though I’m a licensed psychologist in Pennsylvania. It was a new concept for me.

As I spoke about relational blind spots at retreats and conferences, I realized I wasn’t the only one that didn’t know about their existence.

Our relational blind spots are so important. Jesus talks about them in Matthew 7:3 when he says we fail to pay attention to our blindness. I wrote Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make to help more people understand that we all have relational blind spots, what they are, and how we can minimize their destructive impact.

Linda: You talk about this for women.  But I don’t want to let the men off the hook here. So tell me, do men have relational blind spots too?

 Georgia: Even though the book focuses on women, men have the same blind spots as women do.

Common Blind Spots

 Linda: What is one of our most common blind spots?

 Georgia: The blind spot of failing to pay attention to our limitations.

 Just like a gas tank has a limited capacity and needs to be refilled to keep a car running, we have a limited amount of financial, physical, mental and emotional resources. If we fail to pay attention to our limits, rather than accepting and accommodating for them, our relationships suffer. Sometimes the relationship consequences of this failure are minor. We might just become mildly annoying and people might wish we would just relax. Other times, failure to heed our limitations can cause irreparable damage—like a divorce.

Rather than ignore our limitations, we need to embrace them. God created us with our particular limitations, so we honor him when we learn to live within them.

We need to be intentional about taking time to recharge and renew ourselves—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  When I’m trying to do too much too fast, that’s usually when I am most crabby with those around me. Unfortunately, too many times I don’t realize how irritated or exhausted I am until I hurt someone’s feelings.

If your readers are interested in knowing all 12 of the relationship mistakes we make, they might want to visit the free resources page at www.GeorgiaShaffer.com for a complete list.

Linda: Once we realize we have blind spots, what can we do to protect our relationships from the destructive blind spots? Could you give us at least two examples?

Georgia: First, seek God’s wisdom: Jesus told his disciples, “Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear” (Matthew 13:16 NIV). To be like that, we need to pray that the Holy Spirit, the spirit of truth, will guide us and show us what we miss.

Second, listen to wise counsel: Since we can miss what is obvious to others, seeking and listening to wise counsel is vital. Other people usually have a clearer understanding of our shortcomings than we do. A neutral, trustworthy, wise person can give us insight into a difficult situation. In Proverbs 15:31 NLT, we read, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.”

Be sure, however, to seek counsel only from safe, godly people you have learned are trustworthy. Don’t go around asking everyone’s advice. If you do, you will be sure to get bad advice.

Becoming Self-Aware

Linda:  You say that to have healthy relationships we have to see ourselves as we really are. What are some characteristics of people who are self-aware? 

Georgia: People who rate high in self-awareness are:

–        Clear about what they do well and how they can help others

–        Aware of their flaws and hidden motives

–        Willing to spend time on self-reflection

–        Open to learning from their mistakes 

One research study of top performers in a work setting found that 83 percent of them also rated high in self-awareness. If you want to be a top performer in your relationships, then you will cultivate self-awareness.

Linda:  Another interesting blind spot you write about is “Thinking we are the exception to the rule.” Tell me more about that.

 Georgia: We incorrectly assume that other people’s experiences don’t apply to our lives. We do this often. We think we’re different somehow. A friend who read a draft of Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make told her husband about the illustration I used to discuss this blind spot. I talk about the visual blind spots we have on either side of a car’s front windshield. Unless we move our head forward and backward, something like a truck or pedestrian can be hidden behind the frame that supports the windshield.

“My car doesn’t have that blind spot,” her husband said. A few weeks later, however, he came home from work, shaking.

“What happened?” my friend asked”

“I barely missed hitting a truck that was hidden by that blind spot on the side of my windshield. . . I guess I do have that blind spot after all.”

Although you are unique, that does not necessarily mean you are exceptional. As Romans 12:3 says, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.”

Linda:  While I know we can’t avoid all misunderstandings and conflicts, what is another thing we can do routinely to minimize relational difficulties? 

Georgia: Be willing to cultivate self-awareness. Take time for reflection, asking God to help you see yourself as you are and to understand that he loves and accepts you as you are—the good parts and the unflattering ones.

At first, seeing ourselves as we are is uncomfortable. Once we make that breakthrough, we can make wiser decisions. Most importantly, we can experience the relational freedom God intends for us to enjoy.

 Linda: Thanks, Georgia. This has been helpful in looking at some of the relationship mistakes we make. Tell us again where we can learn more about the other relational blindspots and where we can find more about your book, 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make. Also, some readers today may want to know how to find out more about your other books, including the one about surviving cancer, as well as your ministry and coaching.

Georgia: Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make, along with the other books I’ve written, is available at www.GeorgiaShaffer.com on the book page. It can also be found at all online bookstores such as Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, How to win, Interviews, marriage, Marriage problems, mistakes, Trying to understand, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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