My Story, Your Story, A New Story

September 6, 2022 by Leave a Comment
Blank pages of a book - ready to write a story

Photo by Engin Akyurt

EACH OF US is living a story. When we’re in the middle of it, we don’t know exactly how it will turn out. Sometimes the story takes us into a dark time. Other times we walk in the light. It’s like walking across a puzzle that’s only partially complete. As we tiptoe through the pieces, stepping from one piece to another in our life, things look fragmented.

But our heavenly Father sees it all. The entire puzzle lies before Him clearly. And He knows how to fit the dark pieces together with the light ones to make a beautiful picture.

Whether our story is in a dark time or a light time, when we trust Him with all the pieces, He can use them to create something beautiful and exquisite.

The endings of our story (when we do it our way) and God’s story (when we do it His way) might be quite different from one another. Sometimes our zealousness can lead us in ways our Lord would not want us to go. But when we surrender the dark pieces of our life into the hands of our Savior, He will lead us into the story ending He desires for us. The story we think we’re living becomes a new story when we put it into the hands of Jesus. The picture becomes more beautiful and stunning.

My new book, Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light capitalizes on this theme. It’s a suspense thriller. It’s indeed exciting and takes you on a compelling journey in time. But it also takes you on a deeper experience into the enigma of how all the dark pieces in our lives can work together with all the other circumstances to produce an even greater, more brilliant picture of light. When God is at work in our lives, the darkness will one day fade away and a path of light will be clear to us and show us the way.

Isaiah 50:10 says, “Who walks in darkness and has no light. Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God.”

When we walk in darkness, which way should we turn? Whose story should we trust? Who can see the end from the beginning?

I hope you’ll dive with me into the world of fiction where you can experience God’s perfect, paradoxical plan of darkness and light in a thrilling setting of international suspense, family secrets, hidden dangers, and personal discovery.

Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light

Forgotten Dangers. Family Secrets. An Unknown Fate.    Book cover forthe story, Pieces of Dark, Pieces of Light

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Wrestling – When Problems Seem Overwhelming

August 24, 2022 by Leave a Comment

woman sitting on beach with head in hands, grieving and wrestling with problemsPROBLEMS HAPPEN. Often. Sometimes they seem overwhelming. We wake in the night and find ourselves wrestling with nightmarish situations that we just can’t get control over.

How do we cope with these situations that seem to have no good answer? How do we win?

I have found the path to winning is often far different from the one we initially choose to take.

And it starts by first going to scripture. Ephesians 6:12 says, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

What Is Our Focus?

Too often, when we are wrestling with a difficult problem, our focus remains riveted to “the problem,” on our circumstances, on the people who seem to be causing it. We become so entrenched in thinking about our circumstances we can’t focus anywhere else. And by limiting our thinking. we fail to recognize who the real enemy is. It’s like we are keeping our nose to the ground, trying to catch a lizard when there is an alligator bearing down on us from behind.

During my husband’s and my three year separation, I taped a scripture to the wall, which I saw whenever I walked around the house.

“The mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6 NASB)

The scripture reminded me where I needed to focus my thoughts, and by focusing on the spirit instead of my fleshly problems, it often helped me escape the depression that frequently pulled me under.

Once we recognize our need to focus on God instead of on earthly things, we are on the right path.

Are We Wrestling WITH The Enemy? Or AGAINST The Enemy?

Secondly, we don’t recognize, that as children of God who have accepted Jesus as our Savior, we have a power that we too often fail to use – the power of Jesus’ name and the power of His Word.

And thirdly, because of our limited understanding, we find ourselves wrestling WITH the enemy when we should be wrestling AGAINST the enemy.  That subtle distinction in Ephesians 6:12 can make a huge difference in the way we tackle problems that confront us. For if we wrestle WITH the enemy, we are giving the enemy equal footing; we are failing to acknowledge the power God has given us as His sons and daughters. We are flailing in helplessness as negative situations overwhelm and try to defeat us.

So in Ephesians 6:12 (above) when Paul uses the word “against” three times, he is telling us to use the weapons God has given us to take authority OVER the enemy and DEFEAT HIM. The enemy is NOT on equal footing with us. “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (I John 4:4)

When we finally do come to this understanding, then we need to take advantage of the wealth of God’s armory – the weapons He has given us to fight AGAINST the enemy and win the battle.

What Are These Weapons?

Ephesians 6:10-20 tells us how to put on the armor of God, and that is basic in the battle so we know how to protect ourselves as we face the enemy.

But the weapon we use to fight AGAINST the enemy is described in Ephesians 6:17: “The sword of the spirit which is the word of God.” In other words, we fight with the word of God—scripture. The more we immerse ourselves in the Bible and know what God has said to us, the better able we are to use His words to fight AGAINST the enemy.

Using words of scripture that are appropriate to our situation become powerful weapons in our arsenal and in our prayers.

A few of my favorites are:

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (NIV)

1 Timothy 1:7 “For the Spirit of God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” (NKJV)

Exodus 14:14 “the Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still,” (NIV)

Deut. 20:4 “For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (NIV)

Psalms 91:9-11 “If you say, The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent  for he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”

And there are so many more. Search the scriptures. Spend time with God. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Don’t let the enemy pull you under. If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior, you are a child of God. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” (2 Cor. 10:4)

If you would like to read more on this subject, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated goes into this subject more thoroughly in two different chapters about entering the prayer closet and turning the prayer closet into the war room.

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Peace Like a Frog

August 11, 2022 by 7 Comments

frog - yellow

I NEVER IMAGINED using a frog as an illustration for peace . . .

. . . until one day when I was squeezing between two large plants in my backyard to pull out some potato vines and spied a small frog clinging to one of the elephant ears I had just brushed past. Although, I towered above this little 2-inch critter and made quite a commotion with all my activity, he didn’t budge. He showed no fear. He was the picture of peace.

For the next hour, I continued pushing past him, pulling on vines, dragging them back through the bushes to deposit them in the trash can, then back again through the opening to haul out more. I made quite a disturbance. But still the frog seemed unfazed. He didn’t move.

I was frankly surprised that he didn’t jump down and hop off to a calmer location where the plants were not being jostled and shaken. But in spite of any potential danger he might have perceived, he sat peaceful and seemingly unflustered on the side of the elephant ear plant.

As I wondered about why the frog showed no sign of fear, it made me start thinking about us and how we can have peace in the middle of chaos. When we are surrounded by turbulence, it’s hard not to become fearful—fearing we might get entangled in what is going on—fearing the danger it might bring into our lives.

Fear

So what do we do with fear? How can we have peace like a . . . frog?

Jesus’ disciple John says something that is quite curious about fear. He says in 1 John 4:18, “Perfect love casts out fear.” I used to wonder what this means. Certainly, he’s not talking about human love. Many of us learn the hard way that human love is not perfect, and if we depend on it too much, instead of casting out fear, it can actually cause fear.

As we look more closely, however, it becomes clear that John is talking about the “perfect” love of God. For only when we lean in on God’s “perfect love,” can we put away our fear.

So how now does this relate to the frog? Why didn’t the frog act fearful? Does a mere frog experience the love of God? In Matthew 6:26, Jesus tells us how God takes care of the birds and the flowers and the rest of his creation, imploring us to see that since we have more value than they, we should not worry or be fearful. So perhaps, through God’s provision of a suit of camouflage that allows the frog to be hidden in the undercover of his surroundings, this little creature may, in a way, experience the love of God. Maybe a built-in instinct and confidence in God’s unique provision for him “casts out his fear.” The frog is quiet and peaceful in the midst of all the mayhem going on around him for he knows that when he is still, he’s invisible to predators. He’s camouflaged. He’s hidden.

And therein is the connection. When we go to God in the midst of our fear, we also have a hiding place.

Our Hiding Place

Psalm 91:4 tells us, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.“

In Psalms 57:1, David cries out to God, “Have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.”

And in Psalm 32:7, David says, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

So, yes, we have a camouflage too. God shields us from danger “in the shelter of [his] wings.” (Psalm 61:4) He is our hiding place.

We too can have peace like a frog.

When you feel fear stalking you, when it creeps up on you and is about to pull you under or send you off in a rage of anger, remember you have a hiding place in God. God’s protective camouflage will hide you from the enemy’s snares. And under the shadow of his wings you can find protection.

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.”
Psalm 91:1-6

You are my hiding place – Listen to this song and let God fill your heart with songs of deliverance.

If fearful emotions are keeping you off balance because of a crisis in your marriage, my book, Broken Heart on Hold, is available to walk with you through the chaos. Many people have found the hope of God in its pages.

 

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Choices in Our Challenges – Interview with Author Lori Vober

July 29, 2022 by Leave a Comment

The word Choices above the horizon with sun risingLIFE HAS A WAY of throwing surprises in our path, and some of them aren’t what we’d hoped for. Life can be challenging.  How we face those challenges, however, can make all the difference in what our futures will look like. In Lori Vober’s new book, CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make? Lori writes about making choices in difficult circumstances based on her own experience, beginning at the age of twenty-nine when she suffered an intracerebral hemorrhagic stroke, which eventually resulted in her having epilepsy.

Linda: What prompted you to share your story by writing CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make?

Lori: While leading my ladies through Bible Study on ZOOM during the fall 2020 and winter 2021, I heard that small voice that reminded me I was saved from a devastating stroke for a reason and had a story to share. I clearly felt God prompt me to start writing.

And I knew he was right. I am a walking miracle, and God wanted me to share my story and my journey of faith and perseverance to encourage others. I believe God has a plan for each of us, but leaves it up to us and our own free will whether we will have faith in Him and follow Him.

That is why I titled the book “CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make?  Life is about our choices! Even with my difficulties, I was able to become an adoptive Mom of a sibling group of three. My husband Dainis and I have been happily married for twenty-four years and reside in Goodyear, Arizona.

Linda: What are some of the challenges you have experienced?

Lori: Infertility, stroke, epilepsy from the stroke, job loss and a cross country move six months after my stroke, recovery, adoption, parenting, homeschooling, and a cancer diagnosis just as my book was launching

Linda: Why did you title your book Choices?

Lori: Life rarely turns out exactly as you pictured it, and we all face challenges along the way. When we face these challenges, we have a choice how we react to our circumstances. While God always has a plan, He leaves it up to us to decide whether we follow His plan or not. Life is about choices.

Linda: What main message do you want your readers to grasp from reading your book?

Lori: I believe God has a unique plan for each of us, but it is up to us whether we choose to follow Him and what our attitude is in our different circumstances. I have chosen to persevere with a positive attitude and hope the way I have handled my challenges can be a hope and an encouragement to others.

Linda: Do you have a favorite Bible verse you tend to lean on to help you in this?

Lori: Yes, Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Linda: After going through the medical challenges of the stroke and epilepsy, what made you and your husband decide to pursue an international adoption?

Lori: We had always supported kids through Compassion International and had been trying to start our own family when the stroke happened. We still had the heart to be parents but were concerned with my epilepsy and disability. Because of our love for international children from Compassion, we chose international adoption.

Linda: How old were your kids when you adopted them?

Lori: They were six, eight, and ten years old. One boy and two girls

Linda: How long have you been married and how has your husband reacted to your medical challenges? Was this difficult for him?

Lori: Dainis and I celebrated 24 years of marriage on March 28th. We were just shy of our fifth wedding anniversary when I had my massive stroke.

I always say now that I moved to Minnesota for my career but God moved me to Minnesota to match me with my Godly mate. I met Dainis at church, a month after his mom had passed away. She had battled hormonal cancer for sixteen years. We did not know at the time what our future would hold but God did. He knew I would need a mate by my side that could handle my medical challenges and Dainis was already equipped from watching his dad take care of his mom while he was growing up. He is loving, patient, compassionate, and has stood by his weddng vows.

Linda: How have you handled the stressful situations and typical parenting challenges, along with the medical challenges and life challenges, and still kept your marriage strong?

Lori: It is not always easy and like any couple, we have our disagreements. However, we respect each other and put our love and commitment for each other above any fight. We also have recognized how different we are and what helps to fulfill our needs. I am a people person and need emotional support. Dainis is an introvert and very black and white. Many things, like the challenges with the kids can’t be fixed. The solution was a girlfriend mentor for me that I could just talk to. It is important to recognize yor differences and work together.

Linda: What have you learned through balancing your own challenges, your kids and their challenges, and your marriage, that you would want to share with a newly married couple?

Lori: Put God first and make church a routine and a priority. Don’t let the kids ever come in between you and always stand united as a team. Always keep date nights and celebrate your anniversary together. One day the kids will leave and you will be full circle again. Make sure you still know that person you married when that time comes because forever is a long time.

Linda: What are your next steps in your writing journey?

Lori: I am finishing my second book now, which is a 31-day devotional based off my story and the stories of other authors displaying perseverance, a positive attitude, determination, etc. I am also a contributing author to several compilations coming out in fall 2022, spring 2023, and winter 2024. My goal is to continue sharing my story and experiences as a speaker also.

Linda: Did you always have a desire to write and publish a book?

Lori: No, my background is in marketing and sales. Writing my story started out as an act of obedience but then turned into a new passion, a time of healing, and a new purpose. This journey has brought me new friends, support, connections and taught me not to put God in a box but to always be ready and available to serve Him in the opportunities He presents to us. My newest favorite Bible verse is now Proverbs 19:21 NIV  21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Linda: In addition to writing and speaking, I understand God has encouraged you to branch out to use your circumstances in other ways to help people as well. Can you share some of that with us?

Lori: I am currently volunteering several days a week at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, where I had my hysterectomy this April after receiving a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. It was discovered after surgery to be a benign cyst, and I am cancer free but have the blessing of supporting and connecting with patients and conducting a creative writing class to share my story, writing prompts, and how my writing has helped me in my journey. I am also speaking at several stroke survivor support groups and participating in functions with the Brain Injury Alliance Group. I believe mentorship and supporting others is important when you have been together on that same journey.

Linda: Where can readers find a copy of CHOICES: When You Are Faced with a Challenge, What Choice Will You Make? And how can they best connect with you?

Lori:  They can find my book at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.christianbook.com, and www.walmart.com. They can also reach out to me for a signed copy through my website at www.lorivober.comThey can me at lorivober@gmail.com.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, health issues, Hope, How to win, Interviews, loss, New Directions, Problems Tagged With: , , , , ,

Fairy Tale Marriage, Soul Mates, or Journey Partners

July 20, 2022 by 1 Comment

man and woman looking at lakeTHE OTHER DAY as my husband and I were enjoying some quiet moments together, I started thinking about our marriage and how to describe it. I knew we didn’t have a fairy tale marriage because even though it started out that way, it obviously didn’t continue. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have experienced a three year separation after over 20 years together.

Soul Mates

As for being soul mates. I hear couples talking about that. But we are not ones who know what the other is thinking. We don’t finish each other sentences—unless I’m listening to my husband telling jokes or repeating stories I’ve already heard dozens of times before. And although we share some of the same interests and opinions, we diverge in a number of others. We process things differently and solve problems differently.  Our personalities are entirely different, and sometimes we just don’t understand each other. So we’re not soul mates.

Then, as I thought more about soul mates, I realized that although I don’t actually have a soul mate with skin on, I do have a soul mate. And his name is Jesus. Jesus is my soul mate. He’s the one who knows my every thought. He’s the one who can finish my sentences. He’s the one who is heart of my heart, who I can call on at any moment and feel the peace of His presence. The Faithful One who knows my weaknesses and failures and loves me anyway, always reassuring me of His love.

So if my husband and I don’t have a fairy tale marriage and we’re not soul mates, who are we?

Journey Partners

I believe my husband and I are the reality of what God designed marriage to be. Not fairy tale lovers, but journey partners.

We’ve journeyed through this life together and experienced the good and the bad, the for-better and worse, the in-sickness and health. My husband is the one God brought into my life and gave to me so we could grow together. God’s plan was to use our similarities and differences to teach us what He wanted us to know and to grow us into the man and woman he wanted us to be. And, ultimately to use us for His purposes in our lives and the lives of others.

God has often used us as sandpaper in each other’s lives, to challenge us in our behavior and assumptions and shave off rough edges, to cause us to go deeper in our thinking and in our faith.  We’ve grown together over the years as we each took inventory of mistakes, past and present.

When I look at this man today I may not always see the funny, carefree, easy going young man I married so many years ago, but when my heart lingers a little on the man beside me, God opens my eyes to see that, yes, this is the man I fell in love with, the man who won my heart, the man I didn’t want to live without.

The fairy tale didn’t last, but the commitment did, and as I found my real soul mate in Jesus, I also discovered the precious treasure I had in giving and receiving the love of my husband as journey partner – not perfect, but wonderful, warm and comfortable, a listening ear when I want to talk, an encouraging presence in lonely, unsettling, discouraging or stressful times, an old friend who remembers the same movies I do, and a partner who cheers me on in my hopes and dreams.

We’ve traveled through life together. We’ve experienced it all—together. Our pasts are linked with an assortment of memories entwined through decades of laughter, grief, tears, happiness, plenty and want, discovery, celebration, disappointment, joy, and sorrow. We share memories together only the two of us can know.

This is my man, my journey partner, the treasure God gave me to share life with, the love of my life—my husband.  I thank God for His precious gift and pray that He will never let me forget that my husband –though not perfect in himself – is God’s perfect gift for me in the purposes He wants to accomplish in my life and his through our relationship.

Today, as we share this quiet moment together, I look into my husband’s face and see him again– the man I married, the man I love, the man I chose to live my life with, and the man I would choose again if I had to do it all over again.

***

If you expected to have a fairy tale marriage, but your marriage has come to crisis instead, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated may help you learn the secrets of becoming journey partners and finding the happy marriage you’re hoping for.

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When Opposites Marry . . .

July 7, 2022 by Leave a Comment
Orange and blue pencils on opposite backgrounds

Photo by Alice Yamamura

Guest Post by Karin Beery

Opposites attract. For proof of that, let me introduce you to my husband and me. Born in the same year and in the same state, we’re both the middle of three children with dads named Tom. After that, it’s hard to find similarities.

Matt’s an avid outdoorsman—he once spent an entire summer living in a tent in the woods. He’d go to work every day, then go back to the woods at night. His dream vacation is exploring the Alaskan wilderness. I don’t know that he’s ever finished reading a book. And when he’s exhausted, he wants to recharge his mental and emotional batteries by himself with nothing but his podcasts and LEGO.

I’d like the outdoors more if there weren’t any mosquitos (apparently I’m delicious). My dream vacation is any tropical beach anywhere in the world. I’m on track to read 150 books in 2022. And when I’m exhausted, there’s nothing better than hanging out with a group of people, especially if there’s food involved.

Matt and I knew we were opposites when we met. That’s one of the things that attracted us to each other. But despite our differences, we agreed on one crucial thing—we had to pray and know that God wanted us together before we would consider dating.

We prayed. We had peace. We got engaged (it was about that fast; he asked three months after we met).

Opposites attract, but unlike magnets, the pull between people doesn’t always last. Though we had peace from God that our union was His plan, we spent the next five months planning—and fighting about—our wedding and future. It came to a glorious, heart-breaking head two weeks before our wedding, during our last marriage counseling session with our pastor. I don’t remember why I was upset or what had happened, but I’ll never forget my pastor’s words:

“People will understand if you want to call off the wedding.”

Talk about a gut punch.

Picture of author Karin Beery

Author, Karin Beery

Nothing in me wanted to call off the wedding, but I knew something was wrong if our pastor could so easily suggest canceling it. I told him canceling was not an option, so he had to give us something else. There had to be another way.

“Get your eyes off each other and back onto God.”

He illustrated that point with an analogy perfectly suited for my outdoor-loving husband: the bloodless tick. Ticks need hosts in order to survive; they latch onto animals or humans and feast. Humans are the same. We need God to survive. We need to latch onto Him and let Him feed us, spiritually and emotionally.

Imagine if two ticks latched onto each other. They would suck each other dry in an attempt to feed themselves. The same is true of people. When we latch onto each other, expecting another person to spiritually and emotionally satisfy us, we will eventually suck each other dry. But when we latch onto God—when we get our eyes off of each other and turn them back to our creator—we not only receive the nourishment we need, we also take our focus off of the problem and put it back on the solution.

My husband and I picked the second option.

We made it through the wedding, but that wasn’t the end of our struggles. It was the beginning…of butting heads, failing to meet expectations, being frustrated with each other. Of iron sharpening iron. But when things got really rough (bags packed and reservations made), we always remembered the bloodless ticks, and we shifted out focus back onto God.

We’ve now been happily married for ten years, married for a total of seventeen. I used to worry that that joke would offend people or paint us in an unflattering color, but I don’t ever want to sugar coat the hard work and determination that’s kept us together through all of this.

Yes, opposites attract, but that attraction doesn’t always last. Still, God can use that attraction to bring two people together, and when He does, He does it for a reason. If you’ve married your opposite and you keep your eyes on your differences, all you’ll ever see is each other’s differences. But if you’ll turn your eyes back to God, he can use those differences to not only keep you together but to help you grow in ways you never even imagined.

 

Girl with arms crossed standing in a fieldAuthor, Karin Beery writes contemporary stories with a healthy dose of romance. When she’s not writing fiction, she’s reading, editing, or teaching it. In her book, Avoiding Marriage, Jessica Miller has made a mess of her already confusing life. Now, she’s back in Boyne Heights, and she’s determined to fix her reputation, even if that means working for her ex-boyfriend and avoiding her grandmother’s attempts to find her a new one. https://www.amazon.com/Karin-Beery/e/B07HQ2GZQS

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The Problem with Unforgiveness

June 29, 2022 by Leave a Comment
woman full of unforgiveness, looking out wndow

Photo by Anthony Tran

“AND FORGIVE US our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us . . .”

These are familiar words I’ve repeated over and over again every time I say the Lord’s Prayer.  I understand what I’m saying. I’m asking God to forgive me in the same proportion as I forgive others. And I think I am pretty forgiving of others. And yet, every now and then when certain names are occasionally mentioned, bad feelings rise within me. Is that unforgiveness?

If so, what is the problem with unforgiveness?

Recently, a friend told me that at one time in her life she’d been so bound up with unforgiveness that it actually caused her to become mentally ill for a while. She was even temporarily institutionalized.

It was a shocking revelation that jolted me into thinking more about the subject of unforgiveness.

What is Unforgiveness?

What is unforgiveness? Why do we carry it around? How can it have such negative effects on us? And where does it begin?

I found part of the answer in Ephesians 4:26-27. “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,  and do not give the devil a foothold.”

Unforgiveness begins as a simmering anger that grows and grows, an anger we nurture in our hearts and minds. But Paul’s warning above is that by allowing it to fester within us, we are “giving the devil a foothold.” We are opening ourselves up to the devil’s schemes to “kill, steal, and destroy”  (John 10:10). And one way he tries to destroy us is by planting seeds of bitterness within us because he knows the damage bitterness can do to our souls. And that bitterness often evolves from unforgiveness.

But unforgiveness doesn’t just happen out of thin air. We have reasons for not being able to forgive. We’ve been hurt. Maybe deeply hurt. And wronged. Unforgiveness seems like a way of protecting ourselves from more hurt and a way to inflict justice on the one who hurt us. Our pain blinds us from the deeper truth that the bitter root of unforgiveness spreading through our minds and hearts gives a foothold to the devil to steal our peace and joy and ravage our very souls (and perhaps our sanity.)

How Do We Forgive?

It’s hard to forgive. It’s hard to move beyond the pain when someone hurts, wrongs, or betrays us. Even the thought of forgiving them curdles in our veins. That person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness. He or she deserves to feel our anger. But the more that root of anger deepens into bitterness, the more our peace evaporates.

Jesus tells us to forgive others, not to punish us or make things hard for us, but to bring us freedom. He demonstrated the humility and the power of forgiveness even as he hung on the cross, asking God to forgive those who were crucifying him at that very moment.  And after he triumphed over death, he offered His forgiveness to us even though our sins are many.

Forgiveness can provide a road to freedom and peace when we take our pain to our loving Father and lay it at His feet. He will bind up the wounds of our heart and heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3).

If you are experiencing deep depression, if your peace has evaporated and joy seems something only found in fairy tales, let God help you examine your heart to see if a root of bitterness and unforgiveness has stolen the sweetness from your life.

How To Find the Freedom

To better understand how to be able to forgive, my Focus on the Family article, Understanding Forgiveness, may clarify it for you and make it easier to get to a peaceful place.

And if you want to experience freedom from depression and negative thoughts, I urge you to read  Patty Mason’s story.

God wants you to experience the freedom only He can give. He wants to give you His peace and joy.

If your heart is breaking and you’re finding it hard to forgive, my first book, Broken Heart on Hold will walk with you through your pain and help you find that road to peace.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts” (Psalm 139:23).

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).

 

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Filed Under: bi-polar disorder, forgiveness, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Day-votions with Your Faithful Father – Interview with Author Rebecca Barlow Jordan

June 23, 2022 by Leave a Comment

Dayvotons bookWHEN LIFE GETS HARD and we don’t know where to turn, author Rebecca Barlow Jordan wants to remind us that we have a faithful heavenly Father who wants to meet our needs. In her new book, Day-votions® with Your Faithful Father: 90 Days with the One Who Wants to Meet All Your Needs, Rebecca shows us how to talk with God intimately and honestly about our deepest needs. As a bestselling, award winning author of 13 books, and with the pen of a poet and the heart of a disciple, Rebecca’s passion is helping readers find intimacy with God. In this new book, she wants to show you what it means to be His child.

Linda: What led you to write your book, Day-votions® with Your Faithful Father at this particular time? 

Rebecca: As a young mother, I had a deep hunger to know God more intimately, and a longing to understand His character and His names. So I began noting His names and attributes in the margins of my Bible during my quiet times. As I read through different Bible translations and versions through the years, I discovered hundreds of names and traits.

I’ve been wanting to write a book about God’s faithfulness ever since. I authored 12 other books, including a series for women that I trademarked the name, Day-votions®. But I kept journaling in my Bible and began to notice more of God’s activity. Over and over in Scripture, I would see, “The One Who….” and discovered how truly faithful my heavenly Father was. And how many verses dealt with Him as being not only the “Supplier” of our needs but as being the “Supply” Himself.

I’ve written an encouraging blog for years, trying to help people grow closer to the Lord. Emails started coming in from people, asking me to pray for them. They expressed needs, experienced heartaches, and desperately wanted answers.

When the pandemic began to spread throughout our world, I knew it was time to write this book. Never had I seen so many universal needs. People were discouraged and had endured so many losses. I wanted to encourage others by helping them see God’s unchanging love and faithfulness in every situation, but especially in our most pressing ones. I ultimately decided to write this new book about God’s faithfulness under my “Day-votions® umbrella name.

Linda: How have you experienced God’s faithfulness in your own life? 

Rebecca: That’s a great question, Linda, and that was the basis and underlying reason for writing this book. When has God not been faithful?

Author Rebecca Barlow Jordan

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Looking back over my life, I can truly see God’s footprints of faithfulness everywhere I turned.

When I was younger, I’d see depression, fear, disappointment, or discouragement as roadblocks. I’d experience heartache, financial need, marriage issues, and parenting woes. Much too often, foolishness or confusion tried to upend desired wisdom. I cried out to God for help, but sometimes the process of healing was painful and messy. I despised having “needs.”

But life is messy and painful at times, and we will always have needs. I wanted to know my heavenly Father better, but not that way! Strangely enough, the majority of times I experienced His faithfulness was in the way He met those needs—and not always the way I expected.

He has brought me through times of depression and refilled my life with joy. When my marriage hit the wall, my husband and I wrestled through the pain of restoration and fell in love all over again—because God heard our cries, and we learned how to do the hard work involved. God provided jobs when we had none. He sent us on vacations, prompting others to gift us with special trips. When one of our daughters went missing, God brought her safely home. God’s grace, love, and faithfulness brought us through those and so many other challenging trials.

Linda: So how would you describe your new book, Day-votions® with Your Faithful Father.

Rebecca: Day-votions® with Your Faithful Father: 90 Days with the One Who Wants to Meet All Your Needs (2022) is a devotional based on God’s attributes and activity, with truths drawn from his powerful Word, to help readers renew their hope, joy, peace, and trust in the One who is faithful and unchangeable.

Linda: At the beginning of your book, you ask readers, “What if your needs were God’s personal invitation to experience His faithfulness in a greater way?” That’s a pretty thought-provoking question. Can you tell us why you asked that question and how that relates to your book? 

Rebecca: I wanted to help others see their needs in a different light, but also to understand how deeply God longs to meet those needs for us.

None of us want to call ourselves needy. Most of us consider needs as unwanted enemies.

But not God.

Our Faithful Father knows that we can do nothing apart from His intervention. Yet we often try to meet the deepest needs of our lives on our own.

Whether physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, we encounter problems and challenges from the moment we are born. Haven’t we all experienced fear? Distress? Disappointment? Pain? Don’t we all need encouragement? Peace? Comfort? Intimacy? Hope?

Our needs line up like fence posts, trying to imprison us. But our Father’s faithfulness knows no boundaries. He sees our needs differently because He created us. He knows how helpless we are without Him and that our needs can actually draw us to Him.

Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) tells us the reason why we can turn to our faithful Father: Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Linda: Tell us about the format you used to write your devotions.

Rebecca: Twenty years ago, when I wrote my Daily in Your Presence series, no one had used the particular devotional format of sharing heart-to-heart, two-way prayer conversations with God. I wanted continuity from those books because they also featured God’s names and attributes, and readers responded well to them. So I kept that same format in Day-votions® with Your Faithful Father, only lengthened the prayers and added new features, like more Scriptures (over 450 Bible verses written out), a daily challenge to apply the truths, and a page for journaling thoughts and prayers. My new devotional has 90 three-page devotions, but still has a daily truth to memorize or solidify the chapter.

Linda: What is your desire for your readers? And what do you hope they will learn or take away from your new book? 

Rebecca: My desire for readers of all my books is the same: that they will be encouraged and come to know God more intimately. I pray they will discover God’s heart and embrace their faithful Father as the Heart Mender, the Thirst Quencher, the Joy Filler, and the Grace Giver.

As far as what I hope readers will take away with them? That’s fairly subjective. As a pastor’s daughter, I know God often works in unexpected ways. I remember so many times when a church member would shake my dad’s hand after the service and say: “I really appreciate your words.” And they would complete what they heard in the sermon. But my dad hadn’t said that at all.

In the same way, I believe God speaks to us, including our readers, in unique ways—but never contrary to what is in His Word. These snippets of Amazon book reviews from some readers (both men and women) of Day-votions® with Your Faithful Father were both humbling and unexpected. I think they show the kind of takeaways readers can expect to find. In many ways, they exceeded my hopes for reader “takeaways”:

“The devotionals in the book seem to be customized for me and meet a need in my life every day.”

“I couldn’t have known God would put this book in my life at exactly the right time. Two dear people in my life have been diagnosed with cancer in the same week and I desperately need time with my Father….What I love most? While the reader can read through the book chronologically, one can also focus on the most needed topic on any given day. If I’m in the middle of chaos and don’t know what to do I might want to read Day 39: When You Desperately Need God’s Help, The One Who Is Ready to Help You. When I’m overwhelmed by anxiety, I can turn to Day 69: When You’re Feeling Anxious and Distressed, The One Who is Your Only Rock.”

“No matter how high my stress level goes, each time I press pause and pick up this book, my heart is led to ‘green pastures and quiet streams for rest and refreshment.’”

“From day one I was reassured of God’s faithfulness in all areas of my life.”

“A stunning work that provides a biblical response to the struggles we all have as Christians.”

“In a very relevant and deeply personal exchange between your Faithful Father and yourself, you will experience God in real and loving ways.”

 Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your books? 

Rebecca: You can find Day-votions® with Your Faithful Father: 90 Days with the One Who Wants to Meet All Your Needs on Amazon, and you can find out more about me and my books when you visit my website. You can also connect with me on Pinterest or Goodreads.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, faith, God's goodness, God's Word, Interviews, Knowing God, Time with God, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , ,

Don’t Go Down to Egypt

June 14, 2022 by Leave a Comment

statue of girl with water potIt was one o’clock in the morning as I tossed and turned in bed. Two huge problems loomed before me the next day, and I didn’t know how I would solve either one. Restlessly, my mind churned through a myriad of possibilities, searching for answers. Tired and longing for sleep–which refused to come, I sighed and again looked at the clock.

1:30

It was easy to see where this night was headed.

Okay, I thought, I’ve been down this road before. I’m going to lay awake all night worrying and then be so tired tomorrow I won’t be able to do what is needed to actually resolve this situation. This is so pointless. I need to go to sleep.

And then I prayed.

Earlier that morning, I had been reading in Isaiah 30 and 31 about God’s displeasure with Judah when they were besieged by the Assyrians. Instead of trusting God and looking to Him for guidance, they went down to Egypt to solicit help. Even though He, the almighty God had saved them from their enemies on so many occasions and showed them signs and wonders throughout their history, the Jewish people chose to go their own way and seek help from mere men who worshipped pagan gods rather than going to their powerful creator God.

Yet, the threat was very real. The Assyrians were a great and powerful army, and the Jewish nation in the natural had no possible way of standing against them. And even though it was thousands of years ago, it wasn’t too hard to relate to their dilemma. Earthly problems appear to need earthly solutions, don’t they? Spiritual principles don’t seem relevant when we need practical answers. God is wonderful, but what does He have to do with complicated earthly situations that plague our lives?

Well—everything.

Had Judah used their spiritual eyes, remembering the way God had rescued them in the past and trusting Him to do it again, Isaiah tells us they would have enjoyed God’s favor and been saved. Instead, they turned to worldly resources. As a result both they and the Egyptians came to ruin because the Jewish people relied on themselves instead of God.

As the memory of this scripture drifted through my thoughts, the words, “Don’t go down to Egypt” began circling through my head as well. I knew God was speaking to me.

“Don’t look to worldly solutions,” he was saying. “Don’t worry about how these things will be resolved. Trust me. I will give you peace.”

Don’t go down to Egypt.

Another story from the Bible popped into my mind too—the story of King Hezekiah. A fierce and powerful Assyrian army came against him also and demanded his surrender. But Hezekiah went to God, laid all the facts before Him, and prayed, praising God and acknowledging Him as creator and ruler of all. The next morning, thousands of Assyrian soldiers were dead before one arrow had been shot into the city. Judah was saved.

As I thought about God’s promises for those who trust in Him, I began to pray and surrendered my problems to God. Gradually, my body relaxed and before long I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to these words from Jesus Calling, a devotional book I often read to start the day.

“I am able to do far beyond all that you ask or imagine. . . . Do not be discouraged by the fact that many of your prayers are yet unanswered. Time is a trainer, teaching you to wait upon Me, to trust Me in the dark. The more extreme your circumstances, the more likely you are to see My Power and Glory at work in the situation. Instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying, try to view them as setting the scene for My glorious intervention. Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to all that I am doing in your life.”
( Jesus Calling by Sarah Young)

Don’t go down to Egypt.

God reaffirmed to me through Sarah Young that He was able to take care of my predicament. I was not to go down to Egypt. I was to lay my problems at his feet.

As a result, the troubles that had kept me awake that night gradually took a favorable turn. As God’s peace descended upon me and I continued to surrender the situation to Him in prayer, God opened a path through a seemingly complicated situation to make it not only workable, but perfect in God’s timing according to His inexplicable plan.

So remember: When problems or worries bog you down and you’re tempted to take things in your own hands. Trust God. Don’t go down to Egypt.

Are problems in your marriage keeping you from sleeping at night? If so, my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, might provide some of the answers you’re looking for.

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Filed Under: faith, How to win, Peace, Problems, Trusting God, unanswered prayers, Uncategorized, Worry Tagged With: , , , , ,

They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective – Author Interview with Lisa Gray

May 30, 2022 by Leave a Comment

A yellow bookcover with the picture of a mother and childWITH WHAT’S BEEN happening in our country this last week, our hearts and minds have been taken captive by thoughts about our children and the horror some of them had to endure at the hands of a heartless and cruel individual. But our hearts also go out to the parents and the pain they’ve experienced as they try to comprehend the incomprehensible awfulness of what happened.

There’s another horror story some children endure and other mothers who are gripped with pain in the discovery. In Lisa Gray’s book, They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective, Lisa broaches a subject that is difficult to talk about, but she shares it from the vulnerability of a mother who has experienced the pain but discovered the healing.

Linda: Lisa, I know this is a dark subject, but I believe you’ve told me the book is not about darkness, but about hope. Please tell me what you mean by that.

Lisa: I believe we need to always be reminded that even in the darkest of situations, there’s always hope because we serve the God of Hope!

Linda: So now that we’ve given away the ending – that there is hope—tell me what They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective is about.

Lisa: A mother’s heart, a heart that has been broken, shattered, stomped upon, torn apart and left in utter disarray.  The revelation of knowing your child has been violated by those who were “supposed” to care and nurture them is unlike any other pain I’ve ever experienced in my life!

Linda: So please tell us why you decided to write They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective

Lisa: I felt the Lord wanted me to share my story, my journey back to health and wholeness for myself and my family. The book is meant for those who like me felt so alone, so isolated AND felt guilt and shame!  I was supposed to provide safety, protection, and security.  That was not my daughter’s experience.

I have to say I listen to Bishop T D Jakes a great deal, and I remember thinking to myself, “Why does he always talk about sexual abuse?”  I know it happens.  My head is not buried in the sand, but does it really happen THAT much?  I mean does it happen enough to warrant him continually talking about it ad nausea?  Well give me a chance now, and boy oh boy have I changed my story!  Today I say. “Bishop preach!”  Linda, today I understand that while I was thinking those very thoughts, I never knew that sexual abuse was happening in my own house, under my own roof, to My own daughter.

Linda: That’s heartbreaking, Lisa. Tell us how you were able to deal with it?

Lisa: Well let me assure you, it was not easy.  It was a process that took time, prayer, and—if I can be honest—I’ll admit there was some self-pity, Lisa Gray, authorsome self-loathing, and many questions of why and how could this happen.  I’m a good person, I love the Lord, this is not supposed to happen to Christians like us.

Linda, many times I had to fight the enemy in my mind…which is why the Lord tells us in scripture to take every thought captive…not to just sit in it, not to soak in the negativity but to fight.

There were days where I would fight with worship music, there were days when I would fight with scripture, there were days when I would fight with scriptures.  I would put scriptures all around me to remind me that God was faithful.  There were sticky notes on my refrigerator, my bathroom mirror, my car review mirror…because the assault against my mind was unrelenting, but only for a season.

I can say my family and my church family rallied around us also and supported us greatly through that season.

Because God is the same yesterday, today and forever we can stand on his word, and he will and does bring us through!

Linda: Lisa, that is such a powerful reminder of how to persevere through difficult times. Yes, God is faithful! What do you want readers to take away from your message in your book, They Don’t Tell?

Lisa: Linda if there’s anything I’d like for your listeners and my readers to know, I want to remind them that the enemy comes after our faith, and our resolve to judge the Lord faithful…even in the storms of life.  He really wanted me and others to walk away from the Lord and curse the Lord because of the trial and the storm.  I would never do that.  I understood that our LORD is faithful through every trial, every storm. And I understood my children, my family, my church family, even the community was looking to see how I was going to handle this.  Instead of running from God and to alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, food, whatever vice we use as false refuge, when the Bible clearly tells us the Lord is our strong tower, we run to him and are safe!

Run to him, Run to the throne of grace and plead for Mercy, judge the Lord faithful throughout all the circumstances. His mercies are new every morning, for you and your family!

Linda: After this terrible incident of child abuse happened to you and your daughter, where are you now in life? And how is your daughter?

Lisa Gray and DaughterLisa: This is myself and my daughter Nikki now—after the storm, after the hurt, after the trauma, after the healing, and after restoration has taken place in both of our lives.  We are better, stronger, more resilient, and determined that what we went through others can go through as well and survive!​  We walked this out together, and now are compelled to open up our lives and hold our heads high because like any of you who’ve experienced this—we have nothing to be ashamed of!

Linda: Has this experience of dealing with child abuse taught you anything new or transformed your thinking in any way?

Lisa: The Lord has taken me into a new area for me, one I never truly understood, but now I do.  Generational curses.  Although we don’t realize it, we actually have understood them along certain areas of our lives because every time we go into a medical facility they want a breakdown of our medical history.  Well, Linda, hidden in those familiar medical patterns are the generational iniquities that have been repeating throughout our generations.  Now I work with individuals and families to uncover, and uproot those patterns—of cancer, heart disease, brokenness, sexual immorality, etc.  My website is :  Bloodline Curse Breakers.com.  I can also be reached through email at kidsdonttell@gmail.com or by phone at 1 (202) 810-5687.

Linda: Do you have any final thoughts to share:

Lisa: Yes, this was a HORRIBLE situation, but when we give it to God, trust him, lean on and into him through the process, he will turn it around for our good.  His word cannot return to him void, and what the enemy meant for bad, God turns it around for our good.

Now I get the opportunity and the honor to share God’s word and his redemption all around the world.  My daughter is well and flourishing, and my ex-husband is serving a prison term of 15-40 years for the violation.

Linda: Where can people find your book, They Don’t Tell: Child Abuse: A Mother’s Perspective?

Lisa: The best place to find the book is on Amazon or they can reach out to me at the above email. You can also find out more about me and my book on my website at bloodline cursebreaker – Author counsellor speaker

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Filed Under: Abuse, BOOKS, Children, comfort, Feeling unworthy, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, Interviews, Pain, Sexual abuse, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,
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