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In The Waiting Room

February 16, 2022 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Photo by Bernard Hermant

THE COLOR ON the chart was green. Sitting in the waiting room, looking at the color-coded chart on the wall, I knew my husband was now with the doctor. The green beside his assigned number told me the surgery had started. But I had no idea what was going on. “Lord, take care of my husband. Let the surgery be successful.”

The doctor had told us the procedure would last between two to four hours, and then possibly another hour in recovery before I would see him—before I’d know how he was. And even then I wasn’t sure I’d really know how he was.

I studied the colors on the chart again – green for in surgery, blue for recovery. I needed to trust the doctor. He was experienced and I knew he was good at what he did. He had a good reputation, and I needed to trust him. But more than that, I needed to trust the Great Physician whose presence was in that operating room, whose presence was with me, whose strength, might, and wisdom were available as I called out to Him.

I turned my eyes to the anxious faces of others sitting around me in the waiting room. All waiting. Uncertain of the outcome. Waiting.

The waiting room is a hard place to be. Lots of questions. No answers—even while we know very serious events are taking place behind closed doors. Although, we don’t know what’s going on in the operating room, we know who’s in charge. So we sit, and we wait, and we trust the physician.

In so many circumstances of our lives we find ourselves once again in that waiting room with lots of questions churning around in our heads. No answers are available to us, but in faith, we look to God knowing He is the Great Physician whose presence permeates our lives. He has the answers. He is faithful to those who trust in Him, who love Him, and look to Him for help.

When we check out His credentials in the Bible, we see story after story where people sat in the waiting room of life while behind the scenes God worked answers they would never – in their own knowledge or experience—have been able to see or understand.

I think of Joseph, sitting in prison after his brothers betrayed him and sold him to slave traders. He had no idea that in a few years, God would raise him up from that prison to be governor in charge over all the land of Egypt. While he waited, God was working behind the scenes.

I think of Elizabeth – waiting, barren, wanting a child, getting old, not knowing that just when it seemed too late for her to have children and she seemed beyond child bearing age, she would bear a son who would be the forerunner of Christ—John the Baptist.

I think of us, with problems weighing us down – a spouse who has left, a rebellious child tearing at our heart, health problems, or financial burdens straining our ability to function. Yet, while we wait, God is working His good into the brokenness of our situation. He is softening the clay of our lives so He can mold us into His perfect vision of us. He has plans. He knows us. He loves us. And if we love Him, if we call on His name, He will work “all things together for good to those who love him and are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.”

And as you and I sit in the waiting room, that’s where our minds need to turn, focused on that Great Physician, trusting in the One who has the answers, the One who can take away our fear and replace it with peace.

He is our Jehovah Rapha, the one who heals. He is our provider, our Jehovah Jireh. He, indeed, is our great Deliverer.

If your waiting room includes waiting for a spouse to respond to your love and return to you, my books, Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated may be able to guide you to the good outcome you’re hoping for.

Filed Under: faith, Fear, health, health issues, Marriage problems, Peace, Problems, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Waiting Tagged With: faith, fear, Feeling lost, hard times, health issues, marriage in crisis, peace, trust, waiting, worry

God’s 911 Help Line

January 12, 2022 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

THE WORLD FEELS a bit crazy, and for some, even scary right now. One Covid 19 variant after another billows through our cities. Political unrest plagues communities. Families are stressed and marriages struggling.

Our hearts cry out for something to steady us, something dependable to lean on in the midst of the crazy.

I could offer words of reassurance of my own, but God has already given us a 911 power line to hang onto when circumstances reel out of control. Psalm 91:1 says, “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” And the verses that follow in Psalm 91 tell us how and why that help is so available to us.

So instead of my words, let’s go to God’s 911 Help Line and read together His Words in scripture.

Psalm 91 – NIV Version

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
²I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

³Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
⁸You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
¹²they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (NIV)

To reinforce what God is saying to you here, you might want to read this again in a version using everyday language. God’s 911 Help Line might feel more accessible to you when the images seem more familiar and real in this day and time. This is from The Message version of the Bible.

Psalm 91 – The Message version

91 ^1-13You who sit down in the High God’s presence,
spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow,
Say this: “God, you’re my refuge.
I trust in you and I’m safe!”
That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you’re perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God’s your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they’ll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

^14-16“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,
“I’ll get you out of any trouble.
I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I’ll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!”

When you’re feeling frightened by what’s happening around you and need something to hold onto, cling to the promises of God’s Word in Psalms 91. His 911 help line is always available, never busy, always reliable, and will never let you down.

And if your marriage needs a lifeline, my two books, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, have helped many through the mire of marriage messiness. They may help you too.

Filed Under: Covid, Danger, Fear, God's Word, health issues, Peace, Problems, stress, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: confusion, faith, fear, Feeling lost, hard times, health issues, needing help, peace, trusting God, worry

Give Yourself a Break this Christmas–Find a Good Book

December 16, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

WHEN WE’RE GOING through a time of stress, we often neglect doing things we enjoy. With our focus on the problems swirling around us, we cease to enter into routines, habits, and activities that give us a sense of peace and wholeness. Consequently, our problems crowd out those very things that help us have a sense of well being as we inadvertently find ourselves more dependent than ever on the very sources of our distress.

One of the things that is relaxing for some people, is becoming absorbed in a good book. During this Christmas season, you might want to check out some books for yourself or perhaps one to gift as a gift.

As we prepare for Christmas, I’d like to offer you some suggestions to give yourself a little break from the stresses you may be experiencing. If you enjoy reading, this is particularly for you. If not, I hope the following list of books might provide some ideas as a gift for someone else.

We Who Remain

If you like legal dramas or have a lawyer on your gift list, We Who Remain by Darryl Bloodworth, may strike a chord with you and offer an exciting reprieve from whatever else you’re facing. The exciting climax may give you a little inspiration as well. Here’s the plot:

With a disagreeable client and a wife recently diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, attorney David Jordan attempts to unscramble a complicated legal case that begins to take unexpected twists and turns. Meanwhile, his wife Carol, CEO of a women’s crisis center, struggles through her cancer treatments, attempting to raise enough money to save her life-changing center for battered women and children. Both at home and at work, the stress continues to build until events come to a dramatic and unanticipated climax. The story plays out with themes of redemption, family, sacrifice and love as David and Carol wrestle with the question of why bad things happen to good people.

His Gift

Anyone who has had a dream for the future will be able to identify with the challenges faced by Molly, the main character in His Gift by Joan Benson. If you have an ear for music, or if someone on your gift list is a music lover or aspires to use their musical talent in a meaningful way, this book is for you. For as Joan Benson reminds us, “Dreams Can Come True!”

Brace yourself for a thrilling race through the twists and turns of a young woman determined to see her dream come true. On the cusp of the stock market crash of 1929, seventeen-year-old Molly has aspirations for a career in music after high school. With the passion of an athlete preparing for the Olympics, she trains relentlessly to become the best she can be. As her world collapses in unimaginable ways, she is left to find peace and purpose in the midst of her crisis. The message of His Gift is universal to anyone who has ever dared to dream in spite of uncontrollable circumstances. The reader will discover with Molly, the hope and peace in a life when yielded to the Giver of all gifts.

Hometown Healing

If you like books with a western twist or know someone on your Christian gift list who does, Hometown Healing by Jennifer Slattery, might draw your attention. And it sounds like there’s a hint of romance as well. I love her tag line for the book, “She’s home again, but not for long…Unless this cowboy recaptures her heart.”

Returning home with a baby in tow, Paige Cordell’s determined her stay is only temporary. But to earn enough money to leave, she needs a job—and her only option is working at her first love’s dinner theater. With attraction once again unfurling between her and Jed Gilbertson, can the man who once broke her heart convince her to stay for good?

The Bunny Side of Easter

Looking for a book for a child on your list? My children’s book, The Bunny Side of Easter, is an exciting adventure about four little animals lost in the forest, who face some scary moments and overcome them because of a little rabbit’s heroism. And, yes . . . this is a story about the Easter bunny, but it’s also about how the rabbit got in the moon. (And there really is a rabbit in the shadows of every full moon. I’ll show you all about it.)

But how did he get in the moon? Because he was a HERO! Easter heroes are heroes all year long so share this bunny story with your child this Christmas. This little bunny will warm your child’s heart and yours — no matter what the time of year.

Whether or not reading a book is your cup of tea, find something enjoyable to do over this Christmas season. Taking a break from the stresses may bring you a greater sense of stability and peace.

And, of course, when you’re looking for real peace and encouragement, the best book of all is the good book we’re all familiar with–The Bible. Whatever book you choose to find enjoyment from, be sure to add the Bible to your list as well.

Filed Under: BOOKS, comfort, Uncategorized Tagged With: confusion, depression, good books, hard times, peace, worry

Being a Diana in Someone’s Life

September 15, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

A woman giving encouragement to another woman

Photo by Mimi Thian

THE HUSBAND OF one of my friends has been in the hospital with Covid for over a month. Thankfully, they are now seeing improvement, but the battle has been ongoing and extremely rough.

One week as I listened to my friend’s video on Facebook where she was giving updates on the struggles her husband was experiencing, I was touched by her description about the encouragement she was receiving from her faithful friend Diana who had been a rock for her over the past week. Diana prayed with her for one to two hours at a time, played praise music for her, listened to her, and was available continually. I could tell her encouragement that week was holding my friend together.

I was struck by the selflessness of her friend Diana and the unwavering support she offered as our mutual friend suffered through the discouragement of a negative prognosis from the doctors and little signs of improvement in her husband. Through it all, Diana did not get discouraged. She persevered in lifting up my friend and giving her hope. She reminded her of the faithfulness of Jesus as well as sending her scriptures, declaring “by His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

Hearing her talk about Diana made me think about how we all need a Diana in our lives when we are going through difficult times. And how sometimes we can BE that Diana for others in their times of need.

God is with us. He is our strength and our salvation. He is our rock. And although we know this and believe, our faith can sometimes waver and grow weak when faced with problems that appear impossible to overcome.

That is when we need someone to lean on. Someone whose faith can undergird our own and remind us there is indeed hope when we cry out to the Father who will never leave us, and whose love will always sustain us. In hard times we need someone with flesh on to give us support and remind us of that.

When I went through three years of separation from my husband, a couple of women came along side me to lean on when I grew weary.

And in the story of Moses, I think about Moses standing on top of a hill, holding up the staff in his hands to encourage the Israelite army below as they fought the Amalekites. The encouragement of his raised staff gave strength to the armies in the battle. But when Moses’ arms grew tired and he could no longer keep them lifted up, Aaron and Hur came to hold up his arms so he could continue to offer encouragement. As a result they won the battle, and those who offered encouragement made the difference (Exodus 17: 10-13).

God asks us to encourage each other. To love each other. To stand beside each other in difficult times so we have the strength to win our battles. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

My friend’s husband is now improving, and even the doctors are calling it a miracle. God is faithful in our times of need, but sometimes we need a friend to remind us of that so we have the strength to hold on to our loving Father whose strength and might can overcome the odds that seem so insurmountable in the natural world.

Do you need a Diana to stand by you now to offer encouragement?

And is there someone in distress you can be a Diana to right at this moment in time?

Ask God to show you the role He wants you to play in someone else’s life to offer encouragement

If you need a Diana in your life to walk with you through a time of marital brokenness or separation, let my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, be a friend to you in this time of need.

Filed Under: Battles, comfort, Covid, Doubt, faith, Fear, friendship, health, Hope, Problems, Trusting God, weariness, Where is God?, Worry Tagged With: battles, Covid, Doubt, encouragement, faith, Feeling lost, friends, hard times, health issues, hope, invisible God, Love, worry

We May Be Done, But We’re Not Finished – Author Interview with Deb DeArmond

August 2, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

WHEN THE YEARS begin to creep up on you faster than you’d like, you may become apprehensive about the changes taking place. Getting older can seem like a real bummer. But author Deb DeArmand has taken the challenge to offer some encouragement for you, along with a lot of laughs, in her new book, We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished! Making the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life. In our interview today, Deb will give you a peek into her book to help you step into the next phase of life with more confidence.

Linda: I love the title of your new book. We May Be Done, But We’re Not Finished. Why did you write it and who is it for?

Deb: As I began to think about the changes I’d been experiencing in my life, I knew there had to be other women who felt on occasion as I did – that they’d landed on Mars. I also knew God had big things in store for us at this time in our life. We’re old enough to have learned some lessons, and young enough to reap the benefits of those lessons – and share them with others. I wrote this book with an awesome team – 20 authors – all 50+ years in age, each of whom write their own chapter about their experiences.

Linda: I have a feeling there’s an interesting story behind the title, We May Be Done, But We’re Not Finished. Can you tell us about that?

Deb: As the years go by, there comes a time for all of us when we realize a shift has occurred in how we are seen. Others begin to address us more formally and with greater deference. It’s no longer Miss, it’s Mam. And that’s the tip of the iceberg.

At first, it’s a nice surprise – right up until you consider the pattern. You realize you now are seen as old—or older, and the surprise becomes a pie in the face.

We begin to experience offers of assistance we have not requested. “Would you like me to carry your groceries out for you, Mam?” or when the kid at the restaurant points out the Silver Menu for Seniors. “You’re a bit late tonight for the discount dear, but I wanted to make sure you are aware of it.” I’m aware I’d like to tackle you right now, is what I’d like to say, but a simple, nod and “thank you” will keep me from being arrested.

Linda: How do you think it impacts us when we begin to see a shift in how people see us? Is it really a problem?

Deb: When I began to compare notes with friends of the same age, we were all experiencing it. It can definitely change how we see ourselves if we allow it to do so. It may cause us to lose self-confidence and begin second-guessing ourselves. It can also impact our opportunities as well.

My job-seeking sister-in-law relocated when she was in her late 50’s. She had a great resume and was highly qualified in her field. One hiring manager, during an interview however, shared that “For what I’d have to pay you for your experience, I can get two college grads right out of school. And they’re far more likely to be here longer than you. You’ll be retiring in, what? About six years?” She didn’t get the job – and by the time she got to her car, she knew she didn’t want to work for that guy! But her age was center stage in his mind.

Marriages are often impacted as well. We’ve spent many years raising families, driving carpools, and focused on our children. Nothing wrong with that. But it can come at a cost.

Linda: How does the book deal with the challenges affecting marriage as we grow older? Does the book have some chapters specifically about this subject?

Deb: Yes. We’ve been busy parenting for so many years the relationship as husband and wife is often back-burnered. We may experience surprise challenges we never saw coming as we move into life with “just the two of us.”

One chapter by Michelle Rayburn chronicles the truth behind the traditional vow, “till death do us part.” With tongue (only partially) in cheek, she shares the everyday shift of growing together, not just growing old. Here’s an excerpt from her chapter: “For Better or For Hearse”:

“Some couples cruise into retirement with the spouse of their youth, and others find themselves navigating an unfamiliar road with a second marriage. Some won’t remarry but will treasure the memories from the past. The thing we all share is the uncertainty of time that becomes more real as we age.

“Sometimes I look across the room and wonder if I can handle thirty or forty more years of Phil’s snoring in the recliner with the remote in hand. He probably wonders if he can handle more decades of my phobia about chewing noises—that will probably get worse if he ever needs dentures! If we live as long as his grandparents did, we aren’t even halfway there. Oy.”

Michelle Rayburn’s chapter, as does every chapter in We May Be Done, But We’re Not Finished, offers tips, tools, and solutions to address the challenges or leverage the gifts that come with age.

Linda: What are some of the other issues addressed by the authors of the book?

Deb: Deb Coty has a great chapter in the book titled, “Pressed but Not Squashed.” She’s part of the sandwich generation – helping an adult child, now a single mom– while providing eldercare for her 92-year-old mother. Her encouragement? “We are pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair.” 2 Corinthians 4:8 (NLT).

Some of the stories help readers tackle issues that come with age: health issues, adult children, providing eldercare for our parents, or staying active after retirement.

Other chapters tell about new opportunities to serve and get involved with ministry, travel, hobbies, and new or second careers. Pursuit of a “someday” dream. One of our contributors, Phylis Mantelli, after a lifetime of longing, took up dance class in her fifties! Amazing!

Linda: Is there a theme that runs through the book? What do you want readers to take away from your book, We May Be Done, But We’re Not Finished?

Deb: Along with my talented author friends we chronicle our real-life experiences—the ups and the downs—and explore the exciting opportunities we’ve discovered.We prefer to consider the opportunities of elder wisdom versus mourning the loss of our youth.

Our banner scripture is: “Finish what you started in me, God. Your love is eternal – don’t quit on me now! Ps. 138:8 (MSG).

When experienced women invite God to redirect their focus to his purpose and calling, his faithfulness carries us to places we’d never imagined. This can be an exciting time. We want readers to prepare to see new possibilities for their own lives through the stories here of women transitioning to the north side of fifty including their challenges, adventures, and laugh-out-loud-moments.

Linda: Where can readers find out more about this book along with your others?

Deb: You can find more about me and my books at debdearmond.com and on Facebook . This book, along with my previous four can be found on Amazon under the title: We May Be Done, But We’re Not Finished.

Filed Under: BOOKS, Depression, Fear, Hope, Interviews, New Directions, Searching for purpose, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: aging, fear, Feeling lost, hard times, hope, New Directions, seeking answers, what to do

I Choose Peace

July 19, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Guest Post by Joan C. Benson

Photo by Becky D. McMillen

HAVE YOU NOTICED how life sometimes runs on parallel tracks? Good things can take place in the midst of not-so-pleasant circumstances. When I saw this image by Becky D. McMillen, it reminded me of this facet of life on planet earth. In this photo, we see the beauty of two seasons, complementing each other in color and form. The delicate flowers of a redbud tree are accentuated with the flakes of a late spring snow, enhancing both snow and flowers.

If I imagined myself to be a redbud flower, I might not feel the positive vibes of a blast of cold invading my springtime. Imagine bursting forth in your best show of first blooms, to find yourself shivering under a pile of freezing fluff. Sort of sets you back.

In our daily humanity, we may recognize layers of goodness while being struck with a serious loss or disabling event. What do we choose to embrace? Laying in a hospital bed recovering from a painful surgery, I heard a simple praise song in my room. I was miserable, and only half-asleep, but the sweet voice sounded like an angel. A nurse had begun singing along with music I had playing on my cell phone. Her kindness and love deeply touched my heart. I chose to feel God’s presence and peace.

When my dog experienced multiple health crises within a short out-of-state “vacation,” a kind veterinarian (our 5th appointment) spent thirty minutes reading all the health reports and deciding on a course of treatment. We were to leave for home the next morning. When we checked out, he had not charged me for anything except the medication. I felt tears well up in my eyes. It was not the money saved, though that was a blessing. It was his compassion. I chose to believe it was God’s grace poured out on us. I chose peace.

I have found that people who are most successful in navigating pain, loss, and devastation don’t immediately jump up and down to embrace their dark trial. They will say with honesty, “It was hard.” However, they pass from grief to gratefulness when they recognize God’s provision along the journey. Yes, we may find a freezing jolt to our once-comfortable life, but in recognizing God’s mercy and grace to get us through, we find hope for the sorrows. We can choose peace.

God’s peace is promised to us in Philippians 4:6-9. However, with every promise comes an expectation. True? We are told to not be anxious. How does that work, you ask? “I just lost … (fill in the blank), and I’m not supposed to feel the sad and awful reality?” Your husband (or wife) left you after years of marriage. You husband (or wife) died suddenly without any advance warning. You or a loved one receives a diagnosis of a fatal illness, or a health dysfunction without a remedy. Your child breaks off relationship. You know the list of tragedies goes on and on.

However, if you are one who has stepped over that line of faith as a believer in the Creator God of the Universe, He asks us to pray, to tell him what’s on our heart. He says in Philippians 4:6-7 to pray/petition WITH THANKSGIVING. Then comes the answer: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I choose peace.

What a joy to let go of the spirit of heaviness, and release it to Father God, the One who loves you most. Not every woe in this life will have a “happy ever after” ending. In John 16:33, Jesus tells his disciples, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Yield, and receive your peace. We know in Heaven there will be no more sorrow, no more tears. Everlasting joy!

As a freelance writer, Joan Benson has produced devotional materials for CBN.com, written numerous magazine articles (most recently for LifeWay’s ParentLife and Regent University’s The Christian Leader). Her debut historical fiction novel, His Gift, was released in July 2020. Joan is a former (K-8) classroom teacher and reading specialist, and a wife and mother of four adult children. She developed children’s Sunday School curriculum for over twelve years for LifeWay. You can find more about Joan on joancbenson.com and her new book at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

Dreams can come true – even in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances.

If you need to find peace in a troubled marriage, you can find help in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

Filed Under: death of a pet, disappointment, faith, Grief, health, loss, Pain, Peace, Problems, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: faith, grief, hard times, peace, problems, worry

A Heart of Expectation

May 26, 2021 by Linda Rooks 1 Comment

Photo by PH Diego

LAST WEEK WE TALKED ABOUT what hope looks like and how, even in the midst of troubled times when a happy ending seems unlikely, a heart of expectation can help us look beyond the temporal circumstances of here and now and capture a vision for the future.

But how do we do that? When things look hopeless and we see no happy ending for ourselves, how do we simply ignore the pain of the present to embrace the hope of the future?

How can we look into the face of adversity and have a heart of expectation?

A heart of expectation is birthed by immersing ourselves in the heart of God so our desires are transformed from temporary to eternal, to love what He loves, to cherish what He cherishes. God loves us and wants the best for us, but what we interpret to be the best may only be second best or third best . . . or not best at all. While we focus on what we think will make us “happy,” God may be focusing on what will bring us a lasting joy and fulfillment for all eternity. While we’re reaching out for one small peek through the bakery window, He may want to reward us with a trip inside to enjoy all the goodies we want for a lifetime.

Do we believe this? Do we believe that what God wants for us is truly better than what we want for us. Scripture tells us this is true. 1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” (NLT) But do we believe this?

The apostle Paul’s heart desire was to preach the gospel throughout the known world, but his hope was cut short when he was imprisoned in Rome and could only communicate with the churches through his letters. Did he have any idea his letters would ultimately be translated into every known language and become basic reading for centuries of believers?

What Paul did know is that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Paul was able to lay his circumstances at the feet of His Lord, do what He could by writing letters, and let God work out all the details. He had no idea what lay ahead in future generations. What seemed limited in scope at the time—a few letters written to encourage the churches—flourished into a foundational part of the New Testament—something beyond his wildest comprehension and imagination.

We too have treasures in store for us waiting to be revealed at a later time when we give our situations to God as an offering of love and faith. If we can lift our eyes above our circumstances and seek the Lord, He can give us a heart of expectation. We don’t know what will happen in the future—not just tomorrow, not just next year or ten years from now. But if we lay everything at His feet, He can do incredible things with what we give Him.

We may not ever see it in this life—like the heroes of faith in Chapter 11 of Hebrews, people of faith who never saw revealed what they hoped for, but people who will live forever as heroic figures in God’s heavenly realms. We don’t know how the small seeds we plant by surrendering our situation to God might sprout into something that continues to multiply—even over centuries—to become part of God’s eternal plan in the lives of others. But with a heart of expectation, we will one day see all that he has purposed for us.

Lift your worries up to God and watch them diffuse in the light of His glory as He rains down on you visions of His eternal purposes. With a heart of expectation, your hope can translate into faith that God has a purpose for your pain to use for His glory in some incredible way that not only makes the pain worthwhile, but becomes something to celebrate in its contribution to the unfolding of God’s eternal plan.

Heaven’s angels may sing Hallelujah as they watch you surrender your pain, knowing God has a beautiful plan you can’t even imagine or comprehend.

And maybe that’s true hope, the kind of hope that not only melts away all fear, but will put joy in our hearts and a song on our lips each day of our lives throughout eternity.

If you’re going through serious marital struggles and need encouragement to find hope, let me walk beside you through the pages of my book, Broken Heart on Hold. Together we will seek the Light and find strength for the journey.

Filed Under: Expectations, faith, God's goodness, Grief, Hope, joy, Knowing God, Letting go, Marriage problems, Pain, Problems, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Worry Tagged With: difficult life, faith, fear, Feeling lost, grief, hard times, hope, troubled marriage, worry

What Does Hope Look Like?

May 19, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Hope written on one of the rocks in a pile of rocks

Photo by Nick Fewings

WHILE I WAS READING the heart-breaking but hope-filled story of Hannah in the Bible, I was struck with how her submission to the Lord in her adversity was filled with joy and a sense of expectation. She had been childless for years and tearfully sought God to open her womb. With a deep trust in God’s providence, however, she vowed to give the child to God if He granted her request.

And she did. When she gave birth to her son Samuel the following year, she took him to the temple as soon as he was weaned, dedicated him to God, and left him with Eli, the priest. And she did it with great joy.

But what kind of hope is that? What kind of answer is that? Didn’t she want a child to cuddle and love? To raise and look after? She gave the child away! What was her hope? What was the reason for her joy?

And that makes me ask the question. What is OUR hope?

What does hope look like for US—for you—for me?

When we’re going through a troublesome time and hope for a good outcome, what does hope usually look like for us? “If I can just get through this crisis . . . if my husband will come home to me . . . if my test results show that I’m cured . . . if I can get that job . . . if my son quits his addiction.” If, if, if . . . . We want the pain of the situation to end. We want good things in our life. Then we’ll be alright.

We’re standing on the precipice and we just don’t want to fall off the cliff. We want a safety net to catch us, a plateau of safety so we can escape the stressful or frightening circumstances we face.

But what if hope is more than that that? What if hope is not just that we’ll be safe, but that as we stand on the edge of the cliff, we will actually see a beautiful meadow of multi-colored blessings unfurling before our eyes? What if we can see that our present problem will actually become part of God’s greater plan, a plan that, in fact, wouldn’t be as perfect without our painful circumstances?

Hannah’s prayer was rooted in a bigger hope than merely having a child to raise and look after. She tied her hope to God’s eternal plan and His larger story for the peoples of the earth. With a heart of expectation, she dedicated her child to God’s larger purposes. As a result, Samuel became God’s prophet to lead the nation of Israel throughout his lifetime. He was a transformative figure who God used to bring about the reign of David. And as a post script, God gave Hannah three more sons and two daughters afterwards.

As I write this, I think about a couple of paragraphs I wrote in my book Broken Heart on Hold in which I share how God walked with me through the pain of my three-year separation.

“Gradually God unfolded to me a deeper reality. What I was experiencing was not just about me, nor was it just about my husband and me . . . or our marriage. It was about a picture God was composing even as I stood poised on the tip of his paintbrush spilling tears upon the canvas to soften the harsh colors of the palette.

As I spent time with him in prayer, his larger purpose began to take form before my eyes. This grievous time was only one part of God’s bigger picture. What this part of the picture would ultimately look like however, depended in large part on me and what I did with my circumstances. It could be an obscure narrow section angled awkwardly among the other images on the canvas. Or it could become a shining blast of color and light shedding rays of illumination on the surrounding landscape. It was up to me to seek and find his larger design.” (From Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.)

Yes, as I walked through that dark tunnel of hopelessness, God eventually brought me to the light at the other end, and the light of His plan was glorious. Not only did He restore our marriage, but He allowed my pain to become comfort and hope for others walking this difficult journey. And when someone tells me how much my books have helped them, my heart swells with joy at God’s beautiful plan of redemption. I didn’t know back then I would write these books, but because I persevered with God, He used my pain to bring healing to others.

So what does hope look like?

Perhaps seeing hope requires us to open our eyes to more than what our limited earthly vision often encompasses. To catch the vision, we must start by trusting God with a sense of expectation, trusting that even in the midst of our fears God is going to do something wonderful. When we can tether our hope to God’s limitless resources and love, trusting that when given to Him, the experience we are going through will be like a seed planted in good soil that sprouts and multiplies into an eternal spring of beauty, then we will know the joy of the Lord that becomes our strength. Hope becomes our peace.

If you’re struggling to understand, if—like me—you’re asking what does hope look like, turn your eyes upward.

Lift your eyes to the Lord. Let Him enlarge your vision. Let your hope look beyond the problems and the temporal solutions. Grasp hold of God’s promises and love so your hope can grow into a mustard-seed faith, trusting that God has a purpose for your pain to use in some exquisite way that will make it all worthwhile in the unfolding of His eternal plan. Seek Him with all your heart and let Him fashion your future to fit into His greater blessings.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5).

*Read Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1–2:11 and 2:16-21

If you need hope for your marriage, let me walk beside you through the pages of my book, Broken Heart on Hold. Together we’ll find hope and strength for the journey.

Filed Under: Expectations, faith, Fear, Hope, joy, Marriage problems, Pain, Peace, Problems, stress, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: faith, fear, hard times, hope, invisible God, marriage in crisis, peace, seeking answers, troubled marriage

5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

April 7, 2021 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was coming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

Filed Under: comfort, Covid, Depression, Expectations, faith, Fear, God's Word, Hope, Peace, Prayer, Problems, stress, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, weariness, Where is God? Tagged With: faith, fear, Feeling lost, hard times, hope, invisible God, peace, prayer, seeking answers, unanswered prayers, worry

Planning Ahead in 2021

December 30, 2020 by Linda Rooks Leave a Comment

Photo by Jude Beck

As we happily throw away last year’s calendar and move on from 2020, it’s time to go to God and seek direction for 2021.

The grand plans we had for 2020 may have gone awry when the pandemic hit, but we can use it as a good reminder of what scripture tells us in Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” We don’t know what the future holds, but as Christians we know Who holds the future. We can make our resolutions. We can make our plans. But only as we give them to God will God’s best for us succeed.

So let’s include God as we set our goals for 2021.

The Goal Setting Guide below provides an opportunity to set goals in seven areas of your life. As you think over the past year and look ahead to the future, I encourage you to read the accompanying scriptures and pray over how God may be leading you in 2021.

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL GOALS

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY GOALS: