God’s 911 Help Line

911 on red backgroundTHE WORLD FEELS a bit crazy, and for some, even scary right now. One Covid 19 variant after another billows through our cities. Political unrest plagues communities. Families are stressed and marriages struggling.

Our hearts cry out for something to steady us, something dependable to lean on in the midst of the crazy.

I could offer words of reassurance of my own, but God has already given us a 911 power line to hang onto when circumstances reel out of control. Psalm 91:1 says, “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” And the verses that follow in Psalm 91 tell us how and why that help is so available to us.

So instead of my words, let’s go to God’s 911 Help Line and read together His Words in scripture.

Psalm 91 – NIV Version

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (NIV)

To reinforce what God is saying to you here, you might want to read this again in a version using everyday language. God’s 911 Help Line might feel more accessible to you when the images seem more familiar and real in this day and time. This is from The Message version of the Bible.

Psalm 91 – The Message version

91 1-13 You who sit down in the High God’s presence,
spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow,
Say this: “God, you’re my refuge.
I trust in you and I’m safe!”
That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you’re perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God’s your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they’ll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

14-16 “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,
“I’ll get you out of any trouble.
I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I’ll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!”

When you’re feeling frightened by what’s happening around you and need something to hold onto, cling to the promises of God’s Word in Psalms 91. His 911 help line is always available, never busy, always reliable, and will never let you down.

And if your marriage needs a lifeline, my two books, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, have helped many through the mire of marriage messiness. They may help you too.

 

Share

Give Yourself a Break this Christmas–Find a Good Book

white coffee cup on a tableWHEN WE’RE GOING through a time of stress, we often neglect doing things we enjoy. With our focus on the problems swirling around us, we cease to enter into routines, habits, and activities that give us a sense of peace and wholeness. Consequently, our problems crowd out those very things that help us have a sense of well being as we inadvertently find ourselves more dependent than ever on the very sources of our distress.

One of the things that is relaxing for some people, is becoming absorbed in a good book. During this Christmas season, you might want to check out some books for yourself or perhaps one to gift as a gift.

As we prepare for Christmas, I’d like to offer you some suggestions to give yourself a little break from the stresses you may be experiencing. If you enjoy reading, this is particularly for you. If not, I hope the following list of books might provide some ideas as a gift for someone else.

We Who Remain

If you like legal dramas or have a lawyer on your gift list, We Who Remain by Darryl Bloodworth, may strike a chord with you and offer an exciting reprieve from whatever else you’re facing. The exciting climax may give you a little inspiration as well. Here’s the plot:

With a disagreeable client and a wife recently diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, attorney David Jordan attempts to unscramble a complicated legal case that begins to take unexpected twists and turns. Meanwhile, his wife Carol, CEO of a women’s crisis center, struggles through her cancer treatments, attempting to raise enough money to save her life-changing center for battered women and children. Both at home and at work, the stress continues to build until events come to a dramatic and unanticipated climax. The story plays out with themes of redemption, family, sacrifice and love as David and Carol wrestle with the question of why bad things happen to good people.

His Gift

fingers of someone playing a pianoAnyone who has had a dream for the future will be able to identify with the challenges faced by Molly, the main character in His Gift by Joan Benson. If you have an ear for music, or if someone on your gift list is a music lover or aspires to use their musical talent in a meaningful way, this book is for you. For as Joan Benson reminds us, “Dreams Can Come True!”

Brace yourself for a thrilling race through the twists and turns of a young woman determined to see her dream come true. On the cusp of the stock market crash of 1929, seventeen-year-old Molly has aspirations for a career in music after high school. With the passion of an athlete preparing for the Olympics, she trains relentlessly to become the best she can be. As her world collapses in unimaginable ways, she is left to find peace and purpose in the midst of her crisis. The message of His Gift is universal to anyone who has ever dared to dream in spite of uncontrollable circumstances. The reader will discover with Molly, the hope and peace in a life when yielded to the Giver of all gifts.Guy in a cowboy hat smiling at a pretty redheaded woman

Hometown Healing

If you like books with a western twist or know someone on your Christian gift list who does, Hometown Healing by Jennifer Slattery, might draw your attention. And it sounds like there’s a hint of romance as well. I love her tag line for the book, “She’s home again, but not for long…Unless this cowboy recaptures her heart.”

Returning home with a baby in tow, Paige Cordell’s determined her stay is only temporary. But to earn enough money to leave, she needs a job—and her only option is working at her first love’s dinner theater. With attraction once again unfurling between her and Jed Gilbertson, can the man who once broke her heart convince her to stay for good?

The Bunny Side of Easter

Moon shining on a rabbit, an angel, and a duck in the forestLooking for a book for a child on your list? My children’s book, The Bunny Side of Easter, is an exciting adventure about four little animals lost in the forest, who face some scary moments and overcome them because of a little rabbit’s heroism. And, yes . . . this is a story about the Easter bunny, but it’s also about how the rabbit got in the moon. (And there really is a rabbit in the shadows of every full moon. I’ll show you all about it.)

But how did he get in the moon? Because he was a HERO! Easter heroes are heroes all year long so share this bunny story with your child this Christmas. This little bunny will warm your child’s heart and yours — no matter what the time of year.

 

Whether or not reading a book is your cup of tea, find something enjoyable to do over this Christmas season. Taking a break from the stresses may bring you a greater sense of stability and peace.

And, of course, when you’re looking for real peace and encouragement, the best book of all is the good book we’re all familiar with–The Bible. Whatever book you choose to find enjoyment from, be sure to add the Bible to your list as well.Open Bible with glasses lying on top

 

Share

Getting to Know God’s Heart—Interview with Patty Mason

Book cover for Gettng to Know God's HeartIN ANY LOVE RELATIONSHIP, getting to know the other person’s heart draws us closer to them and creates a more intimate relationship. The same is true of God. If we know His heart, we will better understand what is important to Him. But how do we get to know God’s heart? In Getting to Know God’s Heart, author Patty Mason has created a beautiful Bible study that presents a seamless picture of God’s love as she weaves her own spiritual pilgrimage into the scriptural story of our heavenly Father’s love for us. Her Bible study invites the reader to personally experience God’s love in a more intimate way. Because of Patty’s warm and transparent style, this encouraging book is a resource I will regularly recommend to those going through troubling times.

Linda: Patty, what prompted you to begin seeking God’s heart?

 Patty: While battling depression, I watched a friend, who had more problems than I could count, go through life with joy. “How did she do it?” I wondered. How could she exhibit joy when she was left to care for her sick mother while her workaholic husband left her to raise four children on her own.

In comparison, my life was grand, yet she had peace and joy. God was her Rock, the one she clung to, and she spoke of Him with passion. God was not my favorite topic of conversation.

I could think of twenty other topics I would rather discuss. So I resisted, even though her enthusiasm for God caught my attention.

Linda: If her enthusiasm caught your attention, why did you hesitate? 

 Patty: Many things can keep us from wanting to know God.  I hesitated because I associated God with church and religion. To me church felt fickle and phony—reserved for the well-mannered, well-respected, and well-dressed. The church was not filled with people who knew how to love well, so I concluded God would treat me the way they did.

It’s sad to me now how we can embrace a false view of God based on how people treat us. God designed earthly relationships to serve as examples and reminders of His love for us, but if we’ve been harmed through human relationship, it can be difficult to receive God’s love.

When we’re going through something very hard, it’s easy to question God’s heart and begin to wonder, “Does God see? Does He even care?”

For thirty-six years, I had no idea how much God loved me and longed to have a relationship with me. I knew facts about God. I believed Jesus died on the cross, but I didn’t understand the depth of His love demonstrated upon that cross.

Linda: What led you to set aside your beliefs and seek God’s heart?

 Patty: Sheer desperation. I wanted the peace and joy my friend had, but until I became desperate, I wasn’t willing to pursue it. I needed healing. All the screaming, crying, and fits of rage were destroying my family and my life. Consuming alcohol to cope numbed the pain but fixed nothing. And when no one I turned to could help me, I was out of options.

I saw that amid her problems, my friend carried a joy and peace that was foreign to me. She seemed to know something I didn’t. So, when life became more than I could handle, I finally cried out to God.

Linda: What happened? How did God respond? 

 Patty: The day I was planning to take my life, God intervened. After years of battling depression, Jesus saved me, and His healing touch caused my heart to swing wide open. Suddenly, I wanted to know God. And this desire to know Him took me on a life-changing journey.

Linda: How did knowing God’s heart change your life?

 Patty: As a believer, I understood “how” God saved us, what I didn’t understand was “why” He saved us. In all those years of growing up in church, going through the motions of religion, I never saw the passion of God’s heart. I didn’t understand what He was after or how the healing balm of His love could set me free from deep wounds and rejection.

Getting to know God’s heart changed me because it changed my perspective of God, myself, and those around me. Seeing His heart for me filled me with a love for Him and others. As it says in 1 John 4:19, “We love because He first loved us.”

Jesus came to set the captives free, and when we know God’s heart for us, that understanding can set us free from sin, wounds, addictions, temptations, and past hurts.

Linda: What led you to write Getting to Know God’s Heart? And what do you hope people will gain from reading it?

Patty: The one thing I want people to know is: The greatest desire of God’s heart is you! He longs for you. What He wants most is you—all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is what my friend knew about God. She knew she was passionately loved by the Almighty God of the Universe and that understanding awakened her soul. She knew, no matter what she faced in life, His heart was for her, and it gave her peace.

This is what my friend wanted for me. She wanted to help me recognize the one thing that would change my life—an awareness of God’s love. This is why I wrote the book, and what I want for those who read it to receive. Above all else, no matter who they are or what they are going through, God loves them passionately and cares about them deeply.

Linda: What made you decide to use a Bible study format rather than just a regular chapter book?

Patty: It’s vital we see God’s heart through His word, not through the commentary of the author.

Much of our inner pain comes from not knowing God. And I wanted the reader to have the thrill of discovering His heart for them through the intimacy of His word.

Linda: What would you say to someone who is having trouble receiving God’s heart for them?

 Patty: Perhaps, like me, you have experienced setbacks in your pursuit of God. But don’t allow those obstacles to define God’s character or your relationship with Him. Regardless of what has held you back, be encouraged. God’s unyielding love will not give up on you. He knows you. He sees you, and He will not stop in His relentless pursuit of you.

So, allow me to challenge you to let go of any pain, false beliefs, or expectations, and pursue the heart of God and allow Him to capture you with the wonders of His love.

This is a choice. You can hold onto grudges, bitterness, and hurt. You can keep your current perspective and remain stuck. You can continue to strive and struggle, convinced God is only interested in your performance. Or you can lay all that aside and discover a love so profound it will set you free, fill you with love, and give you identity and purpose.

Linda: Patty, thank you for writing this beautiful, life changing book. Where can people find out more about your book, Getting to Know God’s Heart as well as your ministry and other books?

 Patty: To learn more, they can visit www.LibertyinChristMinistries.com

I would also like to invite them to join me on our FB group Quick & Easy Bible Studies for Women at www.facebook.com/groups/quickandeasybiblestudies

 

 

Share

What If My Marriage Is Not Reconciled?

woman looking upwardWHEN SELENA TOLD ME about her divorce, I was crushed. Years before, she had gone through Marriage 911, reconciled with her husband and been an enthusiastic supporter of others going through our ministry. We hadn’t been in touch for quite a while, and when she informed me of the happenings of the previous year, I was in shock.

She had made so many changes. She was more vibrant. Closer to God. She had literally become a more beautiful woman. She had ministered to others too and helped them walk this difficult journey.

I had not seen this coming, and neither had she. Her husband had seemed supportive, and they had come a long way. His divorcing her was completely unexpected.

For days I drug around, wondering how this could happen, asking God why. I remembered others whose marriages had also not reconciled. People who seemed to be doing all the right things.

One morning as I spent a prolonged time in prayer, God started whispering to my heart with memories, recollections, and encouragement. In my memory I saw Selena when she first came to class and how she was now. She had changed dramatically. She was more vibrant, more beautiful with a light in her eyes and a softness in her face. Her words were uplifting and gracious. She was closer to God and had a vital faith.

As God began to show me this, He began to speak to me in my heart. It’s not all about the marriage, Linda. It’s about the person themselves. And their relationship to me. I want them to come closer to me. And that’s what’s most important.

Awhile later my husband asked me what I was doing. I told him I’d been spending time with God and He was showing me some things.

“What did He show you?” he asked. “I always like hearing what God says to you.”

When I told him, he said, “Well that’s what we say in Marriage 911. You can’t change your spouse. You can only change yourself. It’s about your relationship between you and God.”

“And that’s what people say to me in their emails too,” I said. “Many people, whose marriages weren’t reconciled, email me to say that even though their marriage didn’t get back together and it was one of the hardest times in their life, they wouldn’t trade this experience because they had come so much closer to God.”

So, yes, after spending that time with the Lord, I realized it all comes down to this.

Even though my books and our Marriage 911 ministry have helped to bring about many reconciled marriages, there is no guarantee. Our fallen human natures still impact the results. The sinful choices and desires of a spouse can undermine God’s best plan for us. Likewise, our own past choices may have exhausted the emotional strength and patience of our mate. God gives us free will and does not force His own will upon us.

Sometimes in the searching for answers, we find answers we never expected, answers that explain far more than what initially drove us in our search.

In one of the last stories of my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, I quote an email sent to me from Theresa, who had gone through Marriage 911 and read Broken Heart on Hold, but whose marriage still ended in a divorce initiated by her husband. In the email she recalls the difficult journey and what she had learned through it.  “What if I was not really fighting for my marriage?” she asks. “What if God was actually having me fight for myself—my soul, my heart, my own salvation?” She finishes the email by saying, “The one that has been restored, I assure you, has been ME! I can finally hear Jesus saying to my heart, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19).’”

As I continued to meditate on what God was showing me that day, I pictured someone dancing in God’s presence, joyful in the love surrounding them.  And I realized, although we want to help reconcile marriages, our ultimate goal is this: to open up each person’s heart to God, themselves, and others so they can shed the shabbiness within their souls and become the beautiful creation God intended them to be.

Hopefully, as they dance into their new persona, their spouses will be able to join them in the dance and the two of them can grow together in the pursuit of holiness God wants them to have. But even if their spouse does not join them, they will not dance alone. Jesus is there to lead them into the joyful discovery of all He holds for them. His love will be ever-present and His dance will lift them to new heights.

Share

Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well – Interview with Author, Candy Arrington

Book cover for Life on Pause-Learning to Wait WellWAITING IS NOT something most of us like to do. I usually try to get to a doctor’s appointment right on the minute rather than arriving early to cut down on the wait time. I groan when I see the light turning red right before reaching the intersection because I know it means waiting. Most of all, when my husband and I were separated, I didn’t understand why God didn’t answer my prayers immediately and bring our marriage back together sooner. Waiting is hard.  In stressful situations, it can even cause us to question God’s goodness. But author Candy Arrington sees purpose in our waiting. In her new book, Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well, she explores what it means to us when our life is “On Pause” and even shows us how waiting can be a blessing.

Linda: The books we write often emerge out of our own life experiences. What would you say was the motivation behind your writing Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well?

Candy: Several years ago, my husband lost two jobs within a year because of declining work in his field. After the first job loss, he secured employment within a few weeks. However, after the second, we encountered a life pause, a time of uncertainty and frustration. As weeks became months, we dealt with the anxiety and fear associated with waiting.

However, this was not our first experience with a season of waiting. Early in our marriage, we traveled the difficult road of infertility. Those years of surgeries, procedures, and heartache were stressful and tested our faith. Thankfully, I was eventually able to conceive and deliver two healthy children over a four-year period.

I’d like to say I handled the years of infertility well, but, in truth, I was angry with God and hurt by thoughtless and intrusive comments from those who had no right to make judgements or give unwanted advice. The infertility years taught me a lot about trusting God and tuning out Satan’s voice. Often, we believe Satan’s lies instead of focusing on promises in God’s Word.

Sometimes, when God sidelines us in a season of waiting, we fail to learn from the experience because we are so consumed with worry about what will happen next. Learning to wait well is a challenge, but if we’re willing, we can learn and grow in a time of waiting, while also strengthening our faith muscles.

Linda: Why do you think most people struggle with waiting?

Candy: We live in an impatient society. We’re trained by advertising to think we must respond immediately to offers, hurry to make purchases, or sign up for events so we don’t miss out. We chafe at delays in drive-thru lines or other waiting scenarios. By our very nature as humans, we are impatient. We want what we want without delay, regardless of consequences or who is hurt by our impulsiveness.

Waiting is counterculture, and like so much in the life of faith, requires us to take a step back from urgency, look to God for direction and discernment, and trust his timing.

Linda: That is so very true. When I tell people my husband and I were separated for three years, people are aghast that I could wait that long for God to bring healing to our marriage. Waiting is hard, but I believe God uses it for His purposes. Tell me, what do you think are the benefits of waiting? Is it ever beneficial?

Candy: We live in a world of instant everything, so waiting feels negative. God’s plans, methods, and time frame are rarely ours, and he has reasons for allowing life pauses. Here are a few I’ve discovered:

Protection – God sees the full picture of our lives while we see only snapshots. Waiting may be God’s way of protecting us from potential Headshot of author Candy Arringtonhazards of which we are unaware.

Preparation – A time of waiting prepares us for what lies ahead. Each difficult situation or period of waiting requires us to acknowledge God, trust him for resolution, and prepares us for future challenges.

Patience – Life pauses help us to cultivate patience, which is something most of us lack. Patience requires discipline, and discipline translates positively into other areas of life.

Rest – A season of waiting may be solely for the purpose of providing rest, a chance to reassess, or recover from trauma, stress, or grief.

Reflection – Most of us move through life at such a rapid pace we rarely take time to process emotions, spend more than brief moments in Bible study and prayer, and reflect on what God is doing in our lives. Seasons of waiting slow us and help us gain new perspective on what is truly important.

Renewal – Life is hard, and obedience to God’s directive to pause allows time for recharging physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Linda: All of those are great points. In light of what we’ve all been going through over the last two years, do you feel the timing of the publication of Life on Pause is significant?

Candy: Yes, when I presented this book idea to a publisher at a conference in 2019, it was not the book I had planned to pitch. But while I was waiting for my appointment, God reminded me of an article I wrote several years before for CBN.com titled “6 Simple Truths for Seasons of Waiting.” I was resistant to moving in a different direction because I had no proposal for a book on waiting, but I pulled up the article on my phone and used it as my outline. Six months later, when I signed a contract for the book, I had no idea our country, and our world, were about to enter a time of waiting related to the pandemic.

Looking back, I can see how God orchestrated the timing of the writing of my book and the publication, and, in fact, the idea for the book in the first place. I was much more in tune with the emotions and uncertainty of waiting as I wrote, and had greater insight, because I was living it!

That is how it is when our lives take an unexpected detour. Often, we can’t see God’s hand in our circumstances until after we wade through deep waters and reach the shore on the other side. Then, we can see he guided us, removed obstacles, and held us up when turbulent trials threaten to pull us under.

Linda: Are there any features in your book, Life on Pause that seem to have ministered most to readers?

Candy: I believe some of the most powerful parts of the book are the eight personal stories of waiting. So many people have said they identify with one or more of the stories because of the honesty and transparency of those who were willing to share.

Often, privacy or embarrassment prevents us from talking about hard life experiences, but when we share our difficulties, and how God taught us in those circumstances, others receive encouragement for what they are facing.

Linda: What do you most want readers to take away from this book?

Candy: In reading Life on Pause, I want readers to learn to see positives when sidelined in a time of waiting, or really in any situation they encounter that causes them to feel out of control or doesn’t make sense to them. I hope readers will realize how crucial it is to trust God’s timing rather than rushing ahead. I want them to cultivate listening ears that are open to God’s direction. When viewed from God’s perspective, waiting is a gift. Embrace waiting. Learn from it. Utilize it. And as you wait, draw closer to God.

Linda: Where can people purchase Life on Pause: Learning to Wait Well as well as find out more about your ministry and your other books, such as When Your Aging Parent Needs Care and AFTERSHOCK: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide

Candy:  My books can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other online booksellers and local stores as well. You can see more about my other books and ministry at  CandyArrington.com

 

 

Share

If My Words Abide in You

Open Bible with glasses lying on topIT’S SO INTERESTING TO ME that the more we allow God’s Word to abide within us, the more we begin to understand His words.  I remember a time when I thought, “Well, I’ve read through the Bible, and I’ve even read these books of the New Testament two or three times. I know what they say.”

I wondered why it was important for me to read them again . . . and again … and again, reading the Bible over and over each day throughout my life as a Christian.

But one day recently, after having spent considerably more time in the Bible, I found myself talking to someone and words of scripture were coming off my tongue as I tried to encourage her. And in my prayers I found myself praying with words of scripture.

All of a sudden I realized, this is what it means when Jesus says, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7). He truly, honestly wants His words to actually live in us so they roll off our tongues in prayer and in encouragement to others. He wants us to become so immersed in His Word that His words automatically come to our minds when we are worried or in fear. He wants us to read His Word over and over until His words are pressed into our soul and minds.

I remember at various times in the past hearing someone praying whose petitions were punctuated with words from scripture. Their prayers were powerful and I could feel the Spirit of God as they prayed. So as I pondered this new truth God was revealing to me, I realized one of the reasons these people’s prayers were so powerful is that they have the Word of God living within them. They have become so familiar with God’s Word that the Spirit enables them to call it up when they need it.

In addition, over the years, prayer warriors I’ve known have impressed upon me the power of praying scripture back to God. I have even written about this because I’ve experienced the truth of it. Finding a scripture that pertains to our need and praying it back to God adds a powerful dimension to our prayers. Prayers are more powerful when we repeat God’s Word back to Him.

So the question becomes, how does this happen? How do we get to the place where God’s Word is “abiding” in us so we can recall it when we need it?

Some people recommend scripture memory. Memorizing basic passages like Psalm 23, John 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 10:13 can deposit important truths into our spiritual bank account so they are readily available when needed. For me, however, whenever I attempted to memorize Bible verses or passages out of context, I felt like a dismal failure. While I might remember the first couple of verses, the endeavor seemed a bit too cerebral for me to put my heart into it

Now I think – was memorizing scripture the answer or is there more?

While memorizing scripture is a valuable spiritual exercise and plants life-giving truths into our minds for later reference, I believe there’s an even deeper dimension to this. When we regularly read the Bible for ourselves on a daily basis, soaking up God’s truth, we will gradually absorb God’s Word into our hearts and minds so that it lives within us. We can underline favorite verses or passages that stand out to us so we can go back later and be reminded of truths God has previously highlighted for us in the context of His larger message. Gradually, His words weave themselves into our thinking.

It’s a matter of just spending time with God each day—in prayer and in His Word, calling on Jesus to open our minds and hearts to enjoy a deeper experience with Him. Not only will our understanding of God’s ways become more meaningful, but our prayers will become more powerful. Then we will understand what it means when He says to us, “If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you can ask what you desire and it will be done for you” (John 15:7).

If you’re in the midst of heartache because of marital troubles, I’d like to share with you my own discoveries of how God can use this time to take you deeper into Him. You will find this and more in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

Share

I Choose Peace

Guest Post by Joan C. Benson

Lilacs in the snow

Photo by Becky D. McMillen

HAVE YOU NOTICED how life sometimes runs on parallel tracks? Good things can take place in the midst of not-so-pleasant circumstances. When I saw this image by Becky D. McMillen, it reminded me of this facet of life on planet earth. In this photo, we see the beauty of two seasons, complementing each other in color and form. The delicate flowers of a redbud tree are accentuated with the flakes of a late spring snow, enhancing both snow and flowers.

If I imagined myself to be a redbud flower, I might not feel the positive vibes of a blast of cold invading my springtime. Imagine bursting forth in your best show of first blooms, to find yourself shivering under a pile of freezing fluff. Sort of sets you back.

In our daily humanity, we may recognize layers of goodness while being struck with a serious loss or disabling event. What do we choose to embrace? Laying in a hospital bed recovering from a painful surgery, I heard a simple praise song in my room. I was miserable, and only half-asleep, but the sweet voice sounded like an angel. A nurse had begun singing along with music I had playing on my cell phone. Her kindness and love deeply touched my heart. I chose to feel God’s presence and peace.

When my dog experienced multiple health crises within a short out-of-state “vacation,” a kind veterinarian (our 5th appointment) spent thirty minutes reading all the health reports and deciding on a course of treatment. We were to leave for home the next morning. When we checked out, he had not charged me for anything except the medication. I felt tears well up in my eyes. It was not the money saved, though that was a blessing. It was his compassion. I chose to believe it was God’s grace poured out on us. I chose peace.

I have found that people who are most successful in navigating pain, loss, and devastation don’t immediately jump up and down to embrace their dark trial. They will say with honesty, “It was hard.” However, they pass from grief to gratefulness when they recognize God’s provision along the journey. Yes, we may find a freezing jolt to our once-comfortable life, but in recognizing God’s mercy and grace to get us through, we find hope for the sorrows. We can choose peace.

God’s peace is promised to us in Philippians 4:6-9. However, with every promise comes an expectation. True? We are told to not be anxious. How does that work, you ask? “I just lost … (fill in the blank), and I’m not supposed to feel the sad and awful reality?” Your husband (or wife) left you after years of marriage. You husband (or wife) died suddenly without any advance warning. You or a loved one receives a diagnosis of a fatal illness, or a health dysfunction without a remedy. Your child breaks off relationship. You know the list of tragedies goes on and on.

However, if you are one who has stepped over that line of faith as a believer in the Creator God of the Universe, He asks us to pray, to tell him what’s on our heart. He says in Philippians 4:6-7 to pray/petition WITH THANKSGIVING. Then comes the answer: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” I choose peace.

What a joy to let go of the spirit of heaviness, and release it to Father God, the One who loves you most. Not every woe in this life will have a “happy ever after” ending. In John 16:33, Jesus tells his disciples, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Yield, and receive your peace. We know in Heaven there will be no more sorrow, no more tears. Everlasting joy!

headshot of Joan BensonAs a freelance writer, Joan Benson has produced devotional materials for CBN.com, written numerous magazine articles (most recently for LifeWay’s ParentLife and Regent University’s The Christian Leader). Her debut historical fiction novel, His Gift, was released in July 2020. Joan is a former (K-8) classroom teacher and reading specialist, and a wife and mother of four adult children. She developed children’s Sunday School curriculum for over twelve years for LifeWay. You can find more about Joan on  joancbenson.com and her new book at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

fingers of someone playing a piano Dreams can come true – even in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances.

 

 

If you need to find peace in a troubled marriage, you can find help in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

Share

What Does Hope Look Like?

Hope written on one of the rocks in a pile of rocks

Photo by Nick Fewings

WHILE I WAS READING the heart-breaking but hope-filled story of Hannah in the Bible, I was struck with how her submission to the Lord in her adversity was filled with joy and a sense of expectation. She had been childless for years and tearfully sought God to open her womb. With a deep trust in God’s providence, however, she vowed to give the child to God if He granted her request.

And she did. When she gave birth to her son Samuel the following year, she took him to the temple as soon as he was weaned, dedicated him to God, and left him with Eli, the priest. And she did it with great joy.

But what kind of hope is that? What kind of answer is that? Didn’t she want a child to cuddle and love? To raise and look after? She gave the child away! What was her hope? What was the reason for her joy?

And that makes me ask the question. What is OUR hope?

What does hope look like for US—for you—for me?

When we’re going through a troublesome time and hope for a good outcome, what does hope usually look like for us? “If I can just get through this crisis . . . if my husband will come home to me . . . if my test results show that I’m cured . . . if I can get that job . . . if my son quits his addiction.” If, if, if . . . .  We want the pain of the situation to end. We want good things in our life. Then we’ll be alright.

We’re standing on the precipice and we just don’t want to fall off the cliff. We want a safety net to catch us, a plateau of safety so we can escape the stressful or frightening circumstances we face.

But what if hope is more than that that? What if hope is not just that we’ll be safe, but that as we stand on the edge of the cliff, we will actually see a beautiful meadow of multi-colored blessings unfurling before our eyes? What if we can see that our present problem will actually become part of God’s greater plan, a plan that, in fact, wouldn’t be as perfect without our painful circumstances?

Hannah’s prayer was rooted in a bigger hope than merely having a child to raise and look after. She tied her hope to God’s eternal plan and His larger story for the peoples of the earth. With a heart of expectation, she dedicated her child to God’s larger purposes. As a result, Samuel became God’s prophet to lead the nation of Israel throughout his lifetime. He was a transformative figure who God used to bring about the reign of David. And as a post script, God gave Hannah three more sons and two daughters afterwards.

As I write this, I think about a couple of paragraphs I wrote in my book Broken Heart on Hold in which I share how God walked with me through the pain of my three-year separation.

“Gradually God unfolded to me a deeper reality. What I was experiencing was not just about me, nor was it just about my husband and me . . . or our marriage. It was about a picture God was composing even as I stood poised on the tip of his paintbrush spilling tears upon the canvas to soften the harsh colors of the palette.

As I spent time with him in prayer, his larger purpose began to take form before my eyes. This grievous time was only one part of God’s bigger picture. What this part of the picture would ultimately look like however, depended in large part on me and what I did with my circumstances. It could be an obscure narrow section angled awkwardly among the other images on the canvas. Or it could become a shining blast of color and light shedding rays of illumination on the surrounding landscape. It was up to me to seek and find his larger design.” (From Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.)

Yes, as I walked through that dark tunnel of hopelessness, God eventually brought me to the light at the other end, and the light of His plan was glorious. Not only did He restore our marriage, but He allowed my pain to become comfort and hope for others walking this difficult journey. And when someone tells me how much my books have helped them, my heart swells with joy at God’s beautiful plan of redemption. I didn’t know back then I would write these books, but because I persevered with God, He used my pain to bring healing to others.

So what does hope look like?

Perhaps seeing hope requires us to open our eyes to more than what our limited earthly vision often encompasses.  To catch the vision, we must start by trusting God with a sense of expectation, trusting that even in the midst of our fears God is going to do something wonderful.  When we can tether our hope to God’s limitless resources and love, trusting that when given to Him, the experience we are going through will be like a seed planted in good soil that sprouts and multiplies into an eternal spring of beauty, then we will know the joy of the Lord that becomes our strength. Hope becomes our peace.

If you’re struggling to understand, if—like me—you’re asking what does hope look like, turn your eyes upward.

Lift your eyes to the Lord. Let Him enlarge your vision. Let your hope look beyond the problems and the temporal solutions. Grasp hold of God’s promises and love so your hope can grow into a mustard-seed faith, trusting that God has a purpose for your pain to use in some exquisite way that will make it all worthwhile in the unfolding of His eternal plan.  Seek Him with all your heart and let Him fashion your future to fit into His greater blessings.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5).

*Read Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1–2:11 and 2:16-21

If you need hope for your marriage, let me walk beside you through the pages of my book, Broken Heart on Hold. Together we’ll find hope and strength for the journey.

Share

When Your Mind is Muddled

woman working in the garden“HE MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2-3).

A few days ago, my day seemed to hit one crash after another. First, I received a rejection from an editor I had really wanted to work with. Next, I found a minor medical problem wasn’t so minor after all and needed serious attention. Thirdly, I received a discouraging report about another problem that was escalating.

Why does bad news always seem to come in threes?

I felt muddled and scrambled in my mind. Disappointment mixed with questions and genuine concern thrashed around in my head. My emotions felt unsteady and troubled. Even my prayers felt shallow and inconsequential. “Where are you, God?”

Standing at the kitchen sink, I gazed out the window and felt drawn to the peace and quiet of my backyard where fern fluttered in the breeze and the greens of grass and other nearby plants beckoned.

Instinctively, the uneasiness within me led me to my gardening tools, where I picked up a shovel, donned my garden gloves and headed outdoors to work in the yard where I can always count on feeling God’s presence surrounding me in His creation.

The next day, although calmer, intermittent traces of anxiety continued to spike through my emotions.

So I sat at my computer and spent the day writing—an endeavor I love that takes my mind to new levels of God’s grace. By the end of the day I felt better, and thanked God for His continued presence, knowing that through all circumstances, “He is working all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Through my yard work and my writing, I’d found two of the paths God had provided for me to find His peace.

How and why did this help?

When our minds are muddled and emotions unsettled, where do we go for peace? Ideally, going straight to the Bible and spending time in prayer steadies our hearts and minds and gives us perspective. That’s the best answer. But sometimes we first need to transition into a place of restoration where our hearts are more open to hear God’s voice.

Identifying calming influences in our lives that help us pull together our muddled emotions and become centered again is important for each of us. If we allow our emotions and agitated thoughts to have free reign, they can lead us away from God and into places we don’t want to go. But if we channel them into nurturing avenues God has wired into our DNA, we can enter into a more peaceful place.

Each of us is different. While for me, writing and working in the yard comforts my spirit, for you it might be an artistic endeavor like playing the piano, painting, or sculpting. Or perhaps working with your hands on a project in your workshop or car helps unravel the stress that holds your mind and spirit captive.  Maybe you have an athletic bent so that riding a bike, throwing a few hoops of basketball, or working out in the gym calms you.

One of the ways God gives us peace is through the gifts He gives us in our own DNA – gifts that mobilize us and inspire us to action. When we recognize positive activities that nurture our spirits and bring us peace, God can draw us to a place of rest where we are better able to hear His voice.

What is it for you that calms your spirit? What do you feel drawn to when your mind is muddled that lies within God’s boundaries of morality and goodness? What activities help you expel the tension that binds up your joy? If you don’t know, start by taking a walk in a park or an area rich with natural beauty. While we have diverse interests that calm us, God’s creation is a universal conduit He uses to bring healing to our spirits. So if we’re unsure of the gifts God has given us to bring peace, we can always start with nature.

God has created each of us to have diverse interests and talents. Discovering what they are can serve us well as we navigate a troubled world and the unpredictable ups and downs of life. As you submit to God’s nurturing hand in these activities, let them lead you back to Him. For it is in Him you’ll find the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7). And it is through Him that “goodness and mercy will follow [you] all the days of [your] life (Psalm 23: 6).

What is your happy place?

What is an activity that calms you when your mind feels muddled?

If you need to find peace in the middle of a troubled marriage, I invite you to let me walk beside you through my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation. It can be an encouraging friend to you as you walk this lonely journey.

Share

5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

  • God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of  connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

  • God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was Cover for book, Finding Hope in Crisiscoming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

  • God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

  • God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

  • God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Photo of Grace Fox

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

 

Share
Return to top of page · Copyright © 2024 Linda Rooks All Rights Reserved · Return to Linda Rooks