What Does Hope Look Like?

May 19, 2021 by Leave a Comment
Hope written on one of the rocks in a pile of rocks

Photo by Nick Fewings

WHILE I WAS READING the heart-breaking but hope-filled story of Hannah in the Bible, I was struck with how her submission to the Lord in her adversity was filled with joy and a sense of expectation. She had been childless for years and tearfully sought God to open her womb. With a deep trust in God’s providence, however, she vowed to give the child to God if He granted her request.

And she did. When she gave birth to her son Samuel the following year, she took him to the temple as soon as he was weaned, dedicated him to God, and left him with Eli, the priest. And she did it with great joy.

But what kind of hope is that? What kind of answer is that? Didn’t she want a child to cuddle and love? To raise and look after? She gave the child away! What was her hope? What was the reason for her joy?

And that makes me ask the question. What is OUR hope?

What does hope look like for US—for you—for me?

When we’re going through a troublesome time and hope for a good outcome, what does hope usually look like for us? “If I can just get through this crisis . . . if my husband will come home to me . . . if my test results show that I’m cured . . . if I can get that job . . . if my son quits his addiction.” If, if, if . . . .  We want the pain of the situation to end. We want good things in our life. Then we’ll be alright.

We’re standing on the precipice and we just don’t want to fall off the cliff. We want a safety net to catch us, a plateau of safety so we can escape the stressful or frightening circumstances we face.

But what if hope is more than that that? What if hope is not just that we’ll be safe, but that as we stand on the edge of the cliff, we will actually see a beautiful meadow of multi-colored blessings unfurling before our eyes? What if we can see that our present problem will actually become part of God’s greater plan, a plan that, in fact, wouldn’t be as perfect without our painful circumstances?

Hannah’s prayer was rooted in a bigger hope than merely having a child to raise and look after. She tied her hope to God’s eternal plan and His larger story for the peoples of the earth. With a heart of expectation, she dedicated her child to God’s larger purposes. As a result, Samuel became God’s prophet to lead the nation of Israel throughout his lifetime. He was a transformative figure who God used to bring about the reign of David. And as a post script, God gave Hannah three more sons and two daughters afterwards.

As I write this, I think about a couple of paragraphs I wrote in my book Broken Heart on Hold in which I share how God walked with me through the pain of my three-year separation.

“Gradually God unfolded to me a deeper reality. What I was experiencing was not just about me, nor was it just about my husband and me . . . or our marriage. It was about a picture God was composing even as I stood poised on the tip of his paintbrush spilling tears upon the canvas to soften the harsh colors of the palette.

As I spent time with him in prayer, his larger purpose began to take form before my eyes. This grievous time was only one part of God’s bigger picture. What this part of the picture would ultimately look like however, depended in large part on me and what I did with my circumstances. It could be an obscure narrow section angled awkwardly among the other images on the canvas. Or it could become a shining blast of color and light shedding rays of illumination on the surrounding landscape. It was up to me to seek and find his larger design.” (From Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.)

Yes, as I walked through that dark tunnel of hopelessness, God eventually brought me to the light at the other end, and the light of His plan was glorious. Not only did He restore our marriage, but He allowed my pain to become comfort and hope for others walking this difficult journey. And when someone tells me how much my books have helped them, my heart swells with joy at God’s beautiful plan of redemption. I didn’t know back then I would write these books, but because I persevered with God, He used my pain to bring healing to others.

So what does hope look like?

Perhaps seeing hope requires us to open our eyes to more than what our limited earthly vision often encompasses.  To catch the vision, we must start by trusting God with a sense of expectation, trusting that even in the midst of our fears God is going to do something wonderful.  When we can tether our hope to God’s limitless resources and love, trusting that when given to Him, the experience we are going through will be like a seed planted in good soil that sprouts and multiplies into an eternal spring of beauty, then we will know the joy of the Lord that becomes our strength. Hope becomes our peace.

If you’re struggling to understand, if—like me—you’re asking what does hope look like, turn your eyes upward.

Lift your eyes to the Lord. Let Him enlarge your vision. Let your hope look beyond the problems and the temporal solutions. Grasp hold of God’s promises and love so your hope can grow into a mustard-seed faith, trusting that God has a purpose for your pain to use in some exquisite way that will make it all worthwhile in the unfolding of His eternal plan.  Seek Him with all your heart and let Him fashion your future to fit into His greater blessings.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” (Psalm 42:5).

*Read Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1–2:11 and 2:16-21

If you need hope for your marriage, let me walk beside you through the pages of my book, Broken Heart on Hold. Together we’ll find hope and strength for the journey.

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Filed Under: Expectations, faith, Fear, Hope, joy, Marriage problems, Pain, Peace, Problems, stress, Trusting God, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

5 Promises to Help Us Hold onto Hope

April 7, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Guest Post by Grace Fox

To say the past year has been challenging is an understatement. The pandemic grounded me and my husband—the director of a mission sending agency—from our usual international ministry travels. It canceled all my speaking engagements when large gatherings were banned. It stole time with our children and grandchildren, complicated everything surrounding my mother’s illness and passing, and tested my ability to live happily with my husband of 39 years while confined to living in a sailboat’s limited space fulltime.

COVID-19 and its variants are robbing us of loved ones, jobs, homes and material possessions, health, and dreams. It has even targeted our hope—the one thing we cannot afford to lose, according to John Maxwell. We can recover from other losses, he says, but “when a man loses hope, there’s nothing to do but bury him.”

One dictionary defines hope as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” But, for believers, hope runs deeper than an optimistic outlook or wishful thinking. The Holman Bible Dictionary says hope is “trustful expectation, particularly with reference to the fulfillment of God’s promises. Biblical hope is the anticipation of a favorable outcome under God’s guidance.”

So, how can we hang onto hope as we face ongoing challenges and a host of unknowns? I believe the key lies in placing our expectations not in circumstances but in God and His promises. Here are five biblical promises that have buoyed me through the storm.

  • God is with us.

Isolation and loneliness are significant issues. Lack of in-person connection with people outside our home leads to feeling forgotten. That, combined with the challenge of  connecting heart-to-heart with a spouse who handles stress differently than oneself leads to despair.

Some individuals and couples express feeling abandoned by God. Their losses are so painful and their fear of the unknown so all-encompassing that they’ve lost their grip on God’s promised presence. “I am with you always, to the end of the age,” Jesus told His disciples (Matthew 28:20). His promise stands true for us today. We hold onto hope because the truth is this: we are not alone even when we feel alone.

  • God is still sovereign.

God didn’t wake up one morning in 2020, watch the world news, and gasp. He knew the pandemic was Cover for book, Finding Hope in Crisiscoming and how it would affect the world. He knew how it would expose our weaknesses and reveal our strengths. He knew how it would test family and marriage relationships.

Circumstances are not out of control. God has plans we cannot understand, and He will accomplish His purposes. “I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish” (Isaiah 46:9-10). We have hope because God is still God and He is still in control.

  • God the Holy Spirit prays for us.

Sometimes our circumstances seem so dark and difficult that prayerful words escape us. That’s when we need promises like Romans 8:26-27— “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.” Hope comes when we rest in the truth that the Spirit’s got us covered in prayer even when we can’t express what’s in our heart.

  • God will provide for our needs.

A plaque on the wall above my writing desk begins with text from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I lack nothing.” A shepherd’s primary focus is his flock’s well-being, so he’s diligent to make sure his sheep have everything they need to flourish.

Psalm 23:1 assures us that our Shepherd has equipped us to survive this wild ride. Do you need wisdom for navigating the journey in harmony with your spouse? Ask in faith believing He’ll give it in unlimited measure (James 1:5-6). Peace? It’s yours when you give Him your concerns and thank Him for all He has done (Philippians 4:6-7). Strength? It’s yours when you make Him your focus (Isaiah 40:28-31).

  • God will wipe away our tears.

This, too, shall pass. Someday, somehow, God will bring about a good outcome. No matter what the future holds, He will eventually make everything right. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4).

Chuck Swindoll writes, “God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies. As my own father used to say of people with integrity, ‘His word is His bond.’”

God holds out hope to us through His promises, and we hold onto hope by clinging to those promises.

Photo of Grace Fox

Grace Fox lives in Richmond, BC. She’s a popular speaker at women’s events, a member of the First 5 writing team (P31 Ministries), and the co-director of International Messengers Canada. Her new devotional, Finding Hope in Crisis: Devotions for Calm in Chaos, is available wherever Christian books are sold. www.gracefox.com

 

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The Challenge of Letting Go

February 17, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Zac Durant

RESTORING A BROKEN MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP encompasses a number of steps and heart changes along the way. But as I’ve walked beside people over the years, the most important one that takes place in an individual’s heart prior to the marriage actually being restored is when the one fighting for the marriage is able to truly let go and give it to God.

It’s hard to do though, and it’s not easy to understand.

I talk about it a lot, and as I think about it today, I remember a conversation I had years ago at a get-together with some women who were struggling through marital separation. One of the women whose marriage had already made tremendous progress toward healing, began talking about the importance of “letting go.”

The young woman beside me knit her brow with a perplexed expression and frowned. “I get right to the point of being able to let go,” she said, pinching her fingers together as though about to drop something, “and then . . . I just can’t do it.”

The woman next to her nodded. “That’s right. Me too. That’s how I am.”

An Image from The Lord of the Rings

My husband Marv and I had recently watched all three DVD’s of The Lord of the Rings movie, and as my friend spoke, my mind immediately conjured up the image of Frodo standing on the cliff at the end of the movie. He holds his hand over the edge of the precipice with the ring dangling at the end of the chain. Beneath, is the raging fire which has been his destination all through the movie. It is the one place where he can release the ring, see it destroyed, and with it destroy the evil that is taking over Middle Earth. All he has to do is release the ring and freedom can reign once again.

“That reminds me of the ending of The Lord of the Rings,” I said. “All through the movie Frodo has been besieged by the evil that the ring has brought to Middle Earth. He has witnessed again and again the destructive power of the ring and how it corrupts those who lust over it.  He’s seen the damage, the death, the devastation that it causes. And with amazing strength of character, he has persevered through all of that. He’s survived the struggle, the hardship, the temptation. He’s been willing to traverse the darkest lands and oppressive terrains and he’s endured the threats of horrendous creatures in order to get to the mountain where he can destroy the evil.  But when he gets to the very end, when he’s finally there, he stands at the edge of the cliff, dangling the ring at the end of the chain. He stares at it, but can’t let go.

Sam yells to him, “Let it GO! Just let GO!”

But he can’t.

The seductive power of the ring has taken hold.”

The Trouble with Surrendering and Letting Go

As we continued to talk that evening about the challenge of letting go, I shared with my friends how The Lord of the Rings presents a perfect visual image of the struggle we have with surrendering everything to God.

Like Frodo, we don’t want to lose control. The ring of power holds us captive. Even though it means our fleshly nature will reign instead of God’s will, we can’t put it all in God’s hands. The desire to be in control holds sway over us—especially when we’re afraid that if we let go, God might not do what we want Him to do.

How many times have I seen or heard from a woman or man whose greatest desire is to reunite with their spouse? They’ve gone through the anguish, they’ve suffered hardship to get things to change. But they are unable to surrender to God to let Him take care of it. We want to do it by ourselves, even though our own methods have already failed. We somehow think if we think about it enough, talk about it enough, remind our spouse enough times, things will somehow change. We’re locked in a pattern where we keep repeating the same actions. We’re traveling in circles, or worse, we’re pushing our spouse further away. We’re afraid if we put it in God’s hands, He’ll do something we won’t like. The fear of losing control, the desire to do it our own way keeps us in bondage. We can’t let go.

But God, who created us, who created our world, who is omnipotent and sees everything . . . understands what is happening; He has answers we don’t have. He knows our spouse inside and out, just like he also knows us. He can “work all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose*” if we can surrender it all to Him and let go of having to control it ourselves.

First, however, we have to summon the inner strength to follow through so we can let go and trust Him. He is the Good that will banish evil. He is the Light that will shine in the darkness. He is the Word of God who will enlighten our understanding and point us in the right direction.

So as we stand on that precipice, holding that ring of power, we have to have the will, the faith, the strength to let it go.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you (Mathew 6:33).

*(Rom. 8:28)

If your marriage is in trouble and you need to know how to fight for it, letting go is an important part of experiencing the victory. My books, Broken Heart on Hold and Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated can show you the path through the labyrinth of confusion so you can find the hope God has for you.

Nest week: Perhaps the hardest issue of all–infidelity.

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Filed Under: Divorce, faith, Hope, How to win, Letting go, Love, Marital separation, marriage, Marriage problems, Reconciliation, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Trying to understand Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Women, Do You Know How to Fight for and Save Your Marriage?

February 10, 2021 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Kristina V

STORIES CAN SOMETIMES BE A BETTER TEACHING TOOL than mere words of instruction. So today, for you women who want to save your marriage, I want to tell you the story of Wendy. This is a sad story, but sometimes sad stories can show us the way to happier endings.

When Wendy’s husband left, her world fell apart. She never saw it coming. Her husband had been a loving and caring provider. Now suddenly, he said he was leaving. Her mind spun in confusion as she watched him pack up his things. Her heart raced.

“Where are you going?” she asked. “Why are you doing this?”

He shook his head and nuzzled the head of their dog, then headed toward the door.

She grabbed his arm. “I don’t understand. Why are you leaving? When are you coming back?”

“I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. I need a break.”

As he reached for the door handle, tears began streaming down her face. “I can’t believe you’re doing this! Why are you leaving? Where are you going?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll give you a call.” The door closed firmly behind him and soon she heard the car engine roar to life. From the window, she watched his truck pull out of the driveway and head down the street. Wendy stood watching for a moment in shock, then collapsed on the couch.

For the next several days, Wendy walked around like one of the living dead. Her mind was in a fog. She was heartbroken. She called a couple of her friends. They were shocked too, but didn’t know what to say. She called her husband on the phone, hoping he would explain, but his answers were vague and unsettling. She suggested counseling, but he said he couldn’t do it right now. He wouldn’t know what to say.

With the shock and heartbreak of her husband’s sudden departure, Wendy’s reactions were very normal at this point.

But after the initial pain, she had a choice. What direction would she take from this point forward?

A Wrong Direction

Wendy could not push back the pain of her emotions and they began to spiral out of control. Her mind spun in every direction with fears, anger, regrets. For days she’d lie in bed, too depressed to even get up to dress and comb her hair or take calls from friends who wanted to help. The best she could do was nibble on some crackers, feed the dog and let him out in the backyard when he needed to go outside. She could think of nothing except the terrible pain her husband was causing her, and as her emotions changed from day to day—sometimes from hour to hour—she called her husband. Sometimes she called to beg him to come home, other times she sobbed on the phone, asking what was to become of her. More than once, she sent long texts lashing out at him, accusing him, berating him, telling him what a terrible person he was.

“How can you do this to me? How can you treat me this way!” she asked. She called mutual friends and asked them to call too.

Finally, one of Wendy’s friends suggested she take a class at church for those whose marriages were in crisis. Wendy went, and for the first time, she experienced hope.

A New Opportunity

She was told if she wanted to save her marriage, “you need to give your husband space – to put your husband on the back burner and focus on God.” Leaders told her to pray for her husband, say positive things to him when they had contact, and refrain from criticizing him. This was a time for her to put aside all expectations from her husband and simply be a giving, positive friend to him. She was even encouraged to take care of herself and do things she enjoyed without her husband. The other women in her group were dealing with similar situations, and she found the group atmosphere to be encouraging.

She began doing many of the things she was told to do, and her husband began to respond in positive ways. He even began dropping by the house on occasion, admitting to her that he still loved her but felt suffocated by her neediness.

She tried to put into practice the things they talked about in her class, but it was hard. In fact, one thing she just couldn’t do. The women were told to “let go” of their spouses, not to expect anything from them, and trust God with their emotions. She just didn’t understand how to do this. She loved her husband. She wanted him back. She wanted him to love her. She couldn’t let go of him and tell God she would be alright if her husband didn’t come back. She knew for a fact that she wouldn’t be alright if her husband didn’t come back. She needed her husband in her life. Yes, God was good and powerful, but He wasn’t a substitute for her husband. She couldn’t take a chance on letting go of her husband.

One evening her husband came over to visit, but instead of focusing on her and talking with her, all he did was play with their golden retriever. Her initial pain of abandonment returned. Self-pity took hold. But instead of taking her feelings to God to lay the pain at his feet, she just couldn’t keep from saying what was on her mind. “You love the dog more than me,” she complained to her husband.

Her husband didn’t respond but continued playing with the dog.

Although Wendy knew the importance of letting go and keeping things positive when she spent time with her husband, once again her emotions pulled her off balance. She couldn’t resist expressing her dissatisfaction with her husband’s lack of attention. The need for her husband’s love and affirmation held her hostage to her emotions. Her neediness was driving him away. Surrendering her pain to God would have released her from her obsession, providing God the opportunity to breathe a new sense of freedom, love, and commitment into her husband’s heart. But she couldn’t let go and slowly lapsed back into her former pattern of accusing him and pleading with him to come home.

Eventually, her husband stopped coming by. He went days without returning calls and texts. Her broken heart lay in pieces as the relationship slowly ebbed away.

Doesn’t Have To Be This Way if You Want to Save Your Marriage

I hate these sad endings because I know there’s a better way. If you want to save your marriage, the answers lay in the hands of our loving Father. He has a plan for us. He knows where our path will lead. He knows our needs and the needs of our partners. And He can put it all together. But we have to trust Him. We have to lay it all at His feet. We need to surrender our spouses, our marriages, our circumstances, to Him and let Him take control. Then we need to step back, wait, and trust Him for His timing while staying tuned for His voice and following His lead when He tells us to act. While we wait, He will build us up and give us His strength so we are stronger than we were before, strong enough to handle whatever comes our way. Isaiah 40:31 assures us, “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”

There’s another story with a happier ending I invite you to read as well. A true story I posted on Heart Talk in the past . . . the story of Marta. If you want to see a story of success, a story where the woman took the right path, surrendered her marriage to God, and ended up restoring her marriage, Marta’s story is a story that will encourage you as you take steps to save your own marriage..

Yes, unfortunately, we need to acknowledge the fact that our marriages may not survive. We may not be able to save our marriage. Our spouses’ heart may not turn back. God allows them to have free will and make their own decisions. But when placing our situations in the hands of our loving Father, He will make all things new for us and give us a new beginning—either with our partner or by taking us down a new and equally fulfilling road that He prepares for us when we continue to follow His lead.

“I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope ad a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

Next week: The Challenge of Letting Go

If you want to save your marriage, I encourage you to get my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. It will walk you step by step through the labyrinths of this difficult journey so you can find the happy ending you are looking for.

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Filed Under: Divorce, Expectations, faith, Fear, Hope, How to win, Letting go, Marital separation, marriage, Marriage problems, New Years, Reconciliation, Surrendering to God, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Special Family Christmas Eve Service in Your Own Home

December 22, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Jose Antonio Hernandez

Since Christmas Eve services might look different this year and may even be non-existent in places where churches are closed, I want to offer you a sweet and meaningful alternative you can have in your own home. It’s the Family Christmas Eve service my parents did with my brother and I when we were growing up.

It became a treasured tradition I even carried into my own family when my husband and I had children of our own. In fact, we still do it today, even when we attend services at church. Many times our adult children and their children participate as well. Although the Christmas Eve services at church are always beautiful and meaningful, our folksy Christmas Eve service at home joins us together as a family in a personal celebration of the Christ child that took root in my soul as a child and imprinted cherished memories in my heart for a lifetime.

If you’re lamenting the loss of attending a Christmas Eve service, Covid doesn’t have to steal Christmas from you. In fact, it may launch a tradition you will treasure for years to come.

Family Christmas Eve Service

Leader: The service will begin with the youngest member of the family lighting the Christmas candle in honor of the Holy Christ Child.

(While the candle is being lit, read)

Leader: And Jesus said: “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.  Verily I say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall not enter it.” (Luke 18:15-17)

Leader: Now we will read the Christmas story.  (Different members of the family will read different selections.)

Read:  Luke 2:1-7

Everyone sing:  “Away in a Manger”

Read:  Luke 2:8-14

Everyone sing: “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and “The First Noel.”

Read:  Luke 2:15-20

Everyone sing:  “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem”

Read:  Matthew 2:1-12

Everyone sing:  “We Three Kings”

Leader: Now let us pray.

Prayer:

Oh precious Father of our Lord, who was born on this sacred day, and Father of mankind, a mankind that is not always aware of your constant presence, and Father of ours, we thank you this evening for the original Christmas gift that you gave, which awakened our hearts to Thy love and which gave us the loving Christmas spirit of giving which is at the very core of our Christmas tradition.  Thank you for the gift of your only Son whom You loved, but whom You gave for us because You so loved us.

Dear Father, help us to remember the true meaning of Christmas all through the Christmas season, even when horns are honking at us in the Christmas rush traffic, when shoppers jostle us or carelessly block our way when we are hurrying about our business.  Imbue us with the Christmas spirit at these times and on Christmas day when we are filled with the excitement of opening presents, eating turkey and Christmas goodies, and visiting with family and friends.

But most of all, help the Christmas season to be just a beginning to our New Year so that throughout the coming year we are filled with, and can spread to others, the Christmas spirit of love, joy, peace, hope and understanding.  Infiltrate our thoughts and our desires so that we will desire what you would have us desire and so that we will remember those who need us, our services, and our worldly goods.

Help us not to bypass anyone who we could help, nor say an unkind word to save our pride, but help us to live as Christ taught us to live and to remember His words, “Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these, you have done it unto me.”

Finally, dear Lord, give a peace to our souls so that in the stillness that You provide, we can block out the clamor, frustrations, and worries of the world sufficiently enough to be aware of Your constant presence, to hear Your voice, and to discover Your will for our lives.  And as each year passes, help our spirits to grow and mature so that in our final years our souls will be able to enter into Your heavenly glory, not as strangers, but as your true sons and daughters.

In the name of the holy Babe of Christmas we pray.  Amen

Everyone sing:  “Silent Night”

Leader: The oldest member of the family will extinguish the candle, ending the ceremony, but beginning a year of service to our newborn Lord.

*Suggested preparation: Put out one Christmas candle, find four Bibles (or pass one around and share), hand out song sheets for everyone. (lyrics can be found by clicking on song links above).

If you’re trying to hold together a broken family because of a troubled marriage, let my book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, help you put it back together.

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Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart – Interview with Author, Julie K. Gillies

December 16, 2020 by Leave a Comment

When I asked Julie Gillies if she wanted to do an author interview on my blog, the title of her new book seemed tailor-made for 2020. Is there any time in history when more of us have had anxious hearts? All over the world, anxiety permeates our lives. The year 2020 has brought one anxious situation after another, and we are all reeling, not only with anxiety about today, but with questions about what will happen tomorrow.

Julie’s new book, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, helps readers focus on God instead of our anxieties as she gently leads us to know God better, know the Scripture, and know how to pray. Here is a book that might not only be a good one for you to read yourself, but to give to friends and family as gifts this Christmas. 

Linda: Tell us why you wrote Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart?

Julie: While on my knees one evening praying specifically for a family member who struggles with anxiety, I wished for a book on anxiety and prayer I could offer them; something Scripture-based and simple so it would be encouraging but not overwhelming to read. That single thought flashed into an idea that eventually became the devotional, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart.

I had no idea it would release in the middle of arguably the most difficult year most of us have ever navigated. 2020 has spiked anxiety levels worldwide. Most of us have experienced fear, confusion, health concerns, and various degrees of isolation. Civil unrest, violence, bare grocery shelves, and even toilet paper shortages are realities few of us have navigated. And, of course, add to this the ongoing (or acute) relational, marriage, career, or personal issues we all cope with. Our hearts need peace now more than ever!

Linda: There are lots of devotional books available to readers, but tell us why your book, Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, can especially help people during troubling times.

Julie: I’m a huge fan of learning by doing, so this book provides actual prayers for the reader to pray. Those Who struggle with anxiety struggle to focus, and so these prayers keep the reader focused through simple yet powerful prayers. The devotional portion is brief yet meaningful and focuses on Scripture (which is what we all need more of right now). We don’t need more opinions, information, or ideas. We need more of God’s word in our hearts! It stabilizes us, and fills us with truth and peace.

Linda: Since Jesus promises peace, why do you think so many of us are so anxious?

Julie: Here in America, we Americans are accustomed to and expect certain levels of peace, comfort and security. We want tranquil, undisturbed, nearly perfect lives. Most of us are unused to the challenging events 2020 has brought. Plus, we’re not robots—we have emotions and struggle to find our equilibrium in hard times. Jesus knows this and offers us precious comfort and reassurance:

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] (John 16:33) (AMPC)

Jesus is saying life on this earth will be hard—no matter where we live. Reality check: we aren’t in eternity yet! We can still be confident and even undaunted, not because the world lines up in Utopian perfection, but because Jesus offers us His supernatural and perfect peace in the storm.

Linda: How can we trust that God really hears our prayers when bad things keep happening?

Julie: It’s disheartening and distressing when we pray and we don’t see the results we long for. It’s tempting to believe God doesn’t hear or care. But He always listens and always hears us (see John 11:42).

God is often more interested in developing godly character in us and helping us to develop perseverance and tenacity than in reducing our discomforts. He wants us to ask and keep on asking (Matthew 7:7). We can’t give up. We must continue to pray for peace, for our family, for those in authority and for our nation, because that’s what God wants. Ultimately we trust that God is sovereign and the response is in His hands.

Whatever we’re enduring personally, the Lord knows and cares about every detail. He sees our hurts. He understands our pain. Nothing escapes His notice! I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul. (Psalm 31:7)

Lastly, it’s comforting and reassuring to know that God is in the fire with us (see Daniel 3). Life in 2020 has felt more uncomfortable and hotter than most of us have experienced, but our true comfort and our saving grace is that we are not in it alone. Just like He was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, Jesus Himself is in the fire with us.

Linda: That’s an encouraging perspective. How do we shift from simply knowing God offers peace to actually living a less anxious life?

Julie: Our focus determines our peace level. It’s important to be aware because Jesus said to watch and pray, but it’s a divine balance. We want to pray effectively by being aware of the issues of our time, but we don’t want to be obsessed with those issues. So we want to be informed but not obsessed.  

To have rest in our souls we must protect our primary focus: we must read God’s Word more than we read social media or watch the news. Not in a head-in-the sand way but in a God, You are sovereign and holy and greater way. Ultimately our goal should be to pray and keep our hearts riveted on Jesus, because what we think about steers our hearts.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3)

Linda: Where can readers find out more about you and your books?

Julie: All of my books, including Prayers to Calm Your Anxious Heart, are available wherever books are sold. To read the first chapter of each book for free (and for more FREE sources), I invite your readers to visit my website: www.JulieGillies.com

 

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When Your Marriage Boat is Sinking

December 2, 2020 by 1 Comment

Photo by Insung Yoon

Guest Post by Kathy Collard Miller

After only seven years of marriage, my husband Larry and I hated each other. We didn’t have hope for our future together. Plus, neither of us thought God really cared. Larry felt helpless and concentrated on working more hours and diverting himself with sports. I just thought God had given up on me. Our marriage boat was sinking.

But God did care and He had not given up.

In the Bible, God asks over 300 questions, not because He doesn’t know the answers, but because He wants to inquire into our minds and hearts. When any of us are struggling in our marriages, we might be surprised to discover how the questions God asks in the Bible can minister to us in unexpected ways.

For instance, in Luke 8:22-25, when the disciples are in a sinking boat and Jesus is asleep in spite of the waves flooding over the sides, even the seasoned fishermen of the disciples feel hopeless. And the man, Jesus, who had originally told them to get into the boat seems totally oblivious.

Finally, most likely after trying on their own to scoop water out of the boat, the terrified disciples yell above the howling wind, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” (vs 24). When this similar scene had occurred before, the disciples had cried out, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mark 4:38).

Larry and I both had concluded within the sinking ship of our marriage that our relationship would perish and God didn’t really care. There was no hope and since He hadn’t given us an instant healing, maybe He was as hopeless as we were.

But Jesus does rescue the disciples and asks, “Where is your faith?” I find the word “where” fascinating. Other times, Jesus asks “what” or “why.” Only a few other times does Jesus use “where” in a question, usually referring to a physical place, not the condition of the heart.

This time he is addressing the condition of the disciples’ hearts—where they are traveling away from him in their commitment.

He seems to be asking,

  • Where is your faith headed?
  • Where are your desires leading you?
  • Where will you end up?

The reaction of the disciples—and those of us in the midst of marriage challenges—reveals our spiritual eyes and also our physical eyes which focus on our circumstances. We quickly travel in our hearts to imagine the worst.

“Yes, Jesus said He created marriage but I guess He doesn’t care about ours.”

“Yes, Jesus said He can give us the courage to persevere, but even making right choices doesn’t seem to make any difference.”

“Yes, Jesus said nothing is too difficult for Him, but then why do I keep getting so angry and defensive?”

We all have “yes … but …” statements following where disbelief and distrust lead. Instead of clinging to the confidence Jesus demonstrates through the promises of Scripture, we follow the rabbit trail off into the forest where dangers lurk. The apparent truths of circumstances seem more accurate and real.

It’s not easy, but it is possible to keep our eyes focused on Jesus. Otherwise, Jesus would not have asked the disciples, “Where is your faith?” He would have just walked out onto the sea and abandoned them.

We know because Jesus didn’t abandon Larry and me. He calmed the storm threatening our marriage. No, it wasn’t an instant deliverance like when Jesus quieted the storm. Instead, the healing of our relationship was filled with three steps forward and two steps back. Little by little, we each learned selflessness, how to choose love regardless of our feelings, and greater trust in God to keep trying.

Now after celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary, we can confirm that calling upon Jesus is worth it. Our love and commitment is as strong as it can be and we minister together. He proves Himself faithful not only by showing His attentiveness, but by empowering us to learn how to use our spiritual paddles effectively and know Jesus is with us even if the storm continues.

“Where is your faith?” continues to draw our attention back to our great God who knows exactly how to help us. Sometimes by calming the storm and other times by giving us more effective paddles.

Do you have a sinking marriage?

He healed us and He desires to heal you.

Kathy Collard Miller and Larry Miller are international and national speakers and co-writers. They married in 1970, are parents, grandparents, and lay counselors. Larry is a retired police lieutenant from Huntington Beach, California. Their most recent book is God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature.  Visit them at www.KathyCollardMiller.com

 

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Shining Like Silver and Gold

November 23, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Inspiring Others in The Midst of Covid

The pressure of crisis –whatever the cause—can be overwhelming. Whether it’s from Covid, a marriage crisis, or the devastation of our finances, crisis can push us beyond the limits of our understanding until we have nothing else within us to keep on going.

At this point, when we are devoid of strength in ourselves, instead of sinking lower and lower into hopelessness, depression, or substance abuse, God calls us to look up and sink into the arms of Jesus.

In the arms of Jesus, not only does He comfort us with his peace, but He gathers together the substance of our life and molds it into something new and beautiful. The pressure of crisis, when God becomes our refuge and we allow Him to show us the way, refines us into silver and gold so we can shine for His glory. We become the beautiful instruments of His grace, mercy, and love to those around us.

1 Peter 1:6b -7 reminds us of this. “Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed (1 Peter 1:7 NIV).

An Inspiring Story from the Covid Ward

Recently, I’ve witnessed a person who is shining like gold as she looks past the crisis enveloping her life and fixes her eyes on Jesus, not just to save herself, not just to find peace and comfort, but to use the circumstances of her crisis to shine like gold.

I’m talking about my friend and author, Elaine W. Miller, who right now lies in a Covid ward in the hospital, fighting to breathe. She is fighting for her life, but also blessing everyone who comes in contact with her words.

Her own words on Facebook tell the story.

“Covid pneumonia,” She said in her first post. “We’re off on another adventure. Me and Jesus! He holds me tight and won’t let go.”

A couple of days later:

“Nurse took the stethoscope and said, “Let’s hear what’s happening in your heart.” I said, “Jesus is happening in my heart! Hallelujah!” Started Remdesivir today! Yay! Happy Sunday!”

A message to her praying Facebook friends:

“Blessed in isolation. I can sing out and cry out to God late at night and not disturb anyone. I think of Jesus at Gethsemane crying out, Why have you forsaken me God? I feel loved by God, not forsaken. Jesus was sad that his best friends were asleep and not praying. I don’t feel like Jesus. You have covered me with a mighty army of prayers by day and by night. I am so thankful for you. I am having good sleep, good time with God, and I have no pain. #Thankfulforyou #CovidBootcamp Dr. is optimistic that I will survive this.”

A nurse’s perspective as Elaine began to get her breath:

“’When you came to ICU you couldn’t say 2 words without losing your breath. Today I walk in your room and you are singing!’ – my nurse.”

The beauty of gold:

“Covid has restored my hope in America. My doctors are putting out the big guns. I am on an infusion marathon to fight Covid. Last night that bag and more dripped into my veins. I stared at it all night and couldn’t stop crying. You see that bag is some amazing person’s convalescent plasma. They survived Covid and gave their plasma, time, money, love so some old woman they don’t even know could have a few more years to live. That’s my America! Where people die to their selfishness so others can live. Where people think of others more than they think of themselves. That’s my America! I am so sick of the protests, looting, destroying, anger, hate, selfishness, lies. Someone gave their blood so I might have a chance to live. Just like Jesus. I am so grateful for these dear health workers here who risk their lives so people can live. I am blessed and glad God gave me hope for America in a Covid hospital.”

Finally, in the midst of her crisis with Covid, my friend Elaine looks beyond her circumstances to focus on others:

“Day 17 isolation. Why am I here? Ha! For the same reason you are there. To glorify God. To bring light and hope to a dark and hopeless world. When cancer came to me five years ago, I determined to see my cancer as an opportunity to bless people and not as an obstacle or reason for complaint. So, as I rest on my Covid bed, I am overwhelmed with love and prayers and compassion for Caregivers. My eyes are opened to their true suffering. Folks, you have no idea the exhaustion, the tears, the sacrifice, the dance with death they do daily. They risk their lives so I can live. So, when some call Covid a hoax or complain about wearing a face mask, I know a lot of people who are crushed by your words. But they plow on. Keep quiet. Serve. I determined to pray a blessing on every person who enters my Covid room. What a blessing to me. Not one person has stopped me. I pray as some leave. Everyone has stopped to hear my prayers. They all say thank you. Many in tears. Some come back to me, hold me, touch me (not recommended in Covidland) and pray with me. We cry and we trust Jesus. “But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you My power and that My Name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Exodus 9:16.”

An Inspiration for You and Me

So, yes, when the pressure of crisis threatens to pull us down, we can choose the abundant life Jesus wants to give us or the barren wasteland without Him. When we submit ourselves to Jesus, He can use us to shine forth like the preciousness of silver and gold.

Please join me in praying for Elaine’s healing and for all of us to be able to shine for Jesus.

Check out Elaine’s books on Amazon. Elaine W. Miller is the author of three books:

We All Married Idiots: Three things You Will Never Change about Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can,  

Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo: A Hopeful Response to a Hard Reality, and

Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms

 

Elaine and me at a writer’s conference

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God’s Faithfulness in Unstable Times

November 2, 2020 by 1 Comment

Guest Post by Mary Johnston

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.” (Genesis 8:22).

How faithful is our God! This verse makes one burst forth in song. “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” seems perfectly appropriate.

One of God’s most comforting attributes is His faithfulness. We can rely on Him. One never doubts that autumn will follow summer, or that dawn follows the darkness of night. His reliability is second to none.

“God is not human, that He should lie, not a human being, that He should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19). This is one of the reasons His Word is so powerful and important.

At this time of instability, we can be strengthened to stand firmly on His faithfulness to fulfill His Word. This is not so with the ever-changing winds of the media, the craziness of the culture, or the fallibility of humanity in general.

We can rest in His faithfulness. Saint Augustine said it well, “You have made us for Yourself, O LORD, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”

Are you resting in His faithfulness? If not, please do … you’ll be glad you did.

Prayer –

Heavenly Father, we give thanks that we can count on Your unfailing love and flawless faithfulness. We believe You and Your Word. Help our unbelief. In Jesus’ Name.

 

 Mary Johnston serves at Global Hope Network Int’l (GHNI.org). GHNI helps transform some of the world’s poorest villages through potable water, food, and agricultural training, income generation, wellness practices, and education. Mary is engaged in staff care, editing of reports from Africa, Asia, and the Middle East, and writing a weekly devotional. Part of her work has included travel to Africa to work with children in orphanages. Previously, Mary was publisher and editor for Center Stage magazine in Orlando, Florida for 17 years.

If you are struggling with God’s faithfulness, and your marriage is part of the struggle, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, by me, (Linda W. Rooks), may calm and strengthen your hurting heart.

Listen to the hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness and worship God for His faithfulness and mercy.

 

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New Every Morning

October 15, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Sunshine streamed through the bedroom window, bathing my bed in golden rays of light even before I opened my eyes.

Morning had come. It was a new day.

Even though I’d felt discouraged the day before, I had gone to bed that night by lifting the Lord up in praise, remembering that even in the darkness He could overcome. It’s certainly not something I did every time I felt disappointed and unhappy, but over the years I had learned there is power in praising God and remembering His goodness. And the worship service that morning had reminded me what a good God we have.

Now it was morning—a new opportunity to see prayers answered, a new opportunity to see hope rise up in the midst of ashes and disappointment.

Memories of a scripture, long ago remembered, drifted into my mind. Your compassions are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3)

Yes, it was a new morning, a new day.

“This is the day the Lord has made. I will be glad and rejoice in it,” says Psalm 118:24.

What a wonderful reminder that scripture is.

Morning is a gift to us, a new beginning. The sun comes out as a declaration of hope, claiming the promise of a new day.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail,” declares Lamentations 3:22-14. “They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “’The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’”

Every morning God gives us a new beginning. Even if sorrows from the day before hover above our spirits, the morning brings a new opportunity to release them to the Healer of hearts.

Every morning is a new opportunity to see prayers answered and a new opportunity to wipe our slates clean by coming to God and seeking forgiveness. Each morning is a new day to invite our Savior to journey with us through the hours in front of us, leading us one step at a time and opening our eyes to new possibilities. Each morning is a new opportunity to open up our Bibles to see what God is saying to us for THIS day. It’s a new opportunity to serve Him and a new opportunity to find God in unexpected places as we wait on Him throughout the day.

We may not see the answers come that day either. But guess what? When we lay our head on the pillow that night and go to sleep, a few hours later we will awaken to a new morning–a new gift from God. And His compassions are new every morning.

What is God saying to you about today? Forget about yesterday. That is over. And don’t worry about  tomorrow, or it will rob you of today. Today is yours right now, and it will never come again. Enjoy the gift God has given you – the gift of today. Watch and wait for what He is doing in your life in the coming hours. The morning brings new opportunities. Celebrate by praising Him, using the power of prayer He has given you, and by serving Him as you love those who come into your path throughout the day.

Enjoy your gift—your gift of morning. It’s a precious gift from God.

If your heart needs healing in the midst of marital trauma, you will find hope and a friend to walk beside you in my book, Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation.

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