Planning Ahead in 2021

December 30, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Jude Beck

As we happily throw away last year’s calendar and move on from 2020, it’s time to go to God and seek direction for 2021.

The grand plans we had for 2020 may have gone awry when the pandemic hit, but we can use it as a good reminder of what scripture tells us in Proverbs 19:21, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” We don’t know what the future holds, but as Christians we know Who holds the future.  We can make our resolutions. We can make our plans. But only as we give them to God will God’s best for us succeed.

So let’s include God as we set our goals for 2021.

The Goal Setting Guide below provides an opportunity to set goals in seven areas of your life. As you think over the past year and look ahead to the future, I encourage you to read the accompanying scriptures and pray over how God may be leading you in 2021.

GOAL SETTING FOR THE NEW YEAR

I. PERSONAL GOALS

Practical Steps For Achieving:

 

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:19

II. MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIP GOALS:

Practical Steps For Achieving:

 

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Eph. 5:21

III. FAMILY GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Cor. 13:4-7

IV. CAREER GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Prov. 16:3

V. ATTITUDE GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“…be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Eph. 4:23-24

VI. GOALS OF SERVICE TO GOD AND OTHERS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.” Heb. 13:16

VII. SPIRITUAL GOALS:

Practical Steps for Achieving:

 

“And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks to the Father…” Col. 1:10-11

 

If you are struggling to understand how to move ahead in 2021 because of problems in your marriage or family, I encourage you to check out my latest award-winning book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

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Filed Under: Covid, disappointment, Expectations, Goals and Resolutions, How to win, marriage, New Directions, New Years, Trusting God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

For Those Who Are Separated

October 9, 2020 by 9 Comments

Many of you who subscribe to and read Heart Talk are journeying on a difficult path in your marriages. Some are separated in different residences. Some are living in the same house, but the distance between you and your spouse is palpable and lonely.  Every day you wonder what will happen in the future.

Many of my posts on Heart Talk in the past have been directed to you and the issues you face, but for the past several months in which we’re all trying to navigate through a Covid-driven world, my focus has been to reach out to everyone dealing with a new reality that has brought new stress and anxiety to life.

But I haven’t forgotten you, and this week I want to give you a potpourri of encouraging posts from the past you can look over so you can hopefully find something to help you on your difficult journey.

Feeling All Alone?

First, do you feel you are all alone? Do you wonder if anyone has ever dealt with what you are dealing with? Often, I get emails from readers or those finding me online who can’t imagine anyone else has dealt with a situation like theirs and actually seen their marriages survive.

But you are not alone! It’s just that not many people are vulnerable enough to tell you about it.  So here’s a post that invites you in so you can see that others have gone through similar things. And because of God’s grace and goodness, their marriages have been restored.  http://www.lindarooks.com/2018/04/19/you-are-not-alone/

And if you just need something to steady your swirling emotions so you can feel more confident about making good decisions, my book Broken Heart on Hold, Surviving Separation, can be a friend to walk beside you during this tumultuous and unsettling time.

Saving Your Marriage by Yourself?

Others of you may be crying out to God for your marriage to be restored, but you don’t think it’s possible because your spouse has pulled away from you and is perhaps seeking a separation or divorce. Your fear is that if your spouse doesn’t want the marriage, how can it ever be restored?  Everyone seems to say it takes two to reconcile a marriage. If this is true, what can you do by yourself? But is it true?  If this is the question you are asking today, this post is for you.  http://www.lindarooks.com/2016/06/03/takes-one-begin-reconciliation-marriage/

Easier to Get a Divorce?

Some others of you may be ready to just give up. Is it really worth the effort? If this is going to take a long time, wouldn’t it be better to just get a divorce and get on with my life? If this is your thinking, you might want to read the following: http://www.lindarooks.com/2019/09/03/would-i-be-happier-with-a-divorce/

How Do You Actually Reconcile when Separated?

But a number of you undoubtedly just want to know if reconciling your marriage is truly possible and what to do to save it. Is there really hope for YOUR marriage? Perhaps you’ve already tried. You’ve gone to counseling. You’ve tried to get your spouse to “talk.”  You’ve asked over and over, “What do you want? What can I do to make this better?” But you feel like you’re staring at a blank wall when you look at the blank look in his or her eyes. You feel like you’re out of options. You don’t know what else to do. Before my latest book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, came out, I wrote a series for those who are separated. This is part 3 of the four-part series.  http://www.lindarooks.com/2019/03/13/can-separated-couples-reconcile-bringing-about-reconciliation-after-separation/

And finally, some of you may just need to dive in and do the work to save your marriage. You may have been thinking about getting my latest book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated, but don’t know if it will help.  The post below provides an overall look at the book and describes each chapter to give you a better idea of what you can expect to find there and how it may help. Will it actually help you achieve the goals you’re after? You can look here and see. http://www.lindarooks.com/2019/03/20/fighting-for-your-marriage-while-separated/

Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated is also available as an audio book for those who prefer to listen in the car or close their eyes and absorb the words when feeling too weary or too depressed to read an actual book.

A New Series

After the first of the year, I hope to do another series on Heart Talk for those who are separated. This time I plan to share some of the things that weren’t included in my books, but offer additional help for those at a marital impasse.

Our Story

Because my husband and I went through the agony of a three-year separation ourselves, we have a deep desire to help others who are experiencing this lonely and troubling time in their marriage.

Here is a brief snippet from my husband’s and my interview on 100 Huntley Street. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcYZSAQN3AY  You can see both parts of the full interview on YouTube or just go to my website at http://brokenheartonhold.com to see those interviews. Plus, you can see others as well when you visit the speaking/media page.

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Divorce, Fear, Lonliness, Marital separation, marriage, Marriage problems, Reconciliation, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Healthy Living Series—Interview with author, Susan Neal

August 26, 2020 by 1 Comment

In the year of Covid, our lives are more intertwined with health concerns than ever before. Stress exacerbates health issues, and health issues exacerbate stress. Finances, jobs, school, relationships and health all lumped together in a pot of worry stew. When facing other challenges in life, our health sometimes takes a back seat. But during these precarious times, we need to take care of ourselves and be aware of how to nurture our bodies so we can stay strong and healthy. If you are going through challenging times with health, weight, or diet, award winning author Susan Neal’s series of books called the Healthy Living Series may provide the encouragement you need to live a healthier, more productive life. Susan is an RN with a masters in health science and an MBA and has a passion to help others improve their health.

Linda: Susan, what prompted you to write this series of books that you call the Healthy Living Series?

Susan: When my sister was diagnosed with gluten sensitivity, she asked me to help her stop eating wheat. From my experience, this is difficult to do, so I created a seven-step plan for her to follow. My sister took the seven-step plan to heart. Her liver enzymes returned to normal, her pre-diabetic state reversed, and her irritable bowel symptoms disappeared. However, she continued to eat sugary foods, not recognizing their effect on her health.

One year later, she got rosacea and needed to get off sugar as it contributed to this condition. She repeated the same seven-steps with success. But more than that she lost a lot of weight, her joints no longer ached, and she felt energized. The rosacea disappeared too! I thought others could be helped through this seven-step plan so I wrote 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates.

Linda: Would you describe for us that 7 step plan?

Susan:  Yes, these are the 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates

  1. Decide to improve your health through proper nutrition.
  2. Acquire a support system and knowledge to help make a lifestyle change.
  3. Clean out the pantry and refrigerator by removing unhealthy foods and clean out your emotions with God.
  4. Purchase healthy foods plus an anti-Candida cleanse.
  5. Plan for the start date to begin changing your eating habits.
  6. Prepare and eat foods differently than you did before.
  7. Improve your health through continuing this new lifestyle, never turning back to your old eating habits.

Linda: I understand this is a series of three books. What are the three books included in, Healthy Living Series: 3 Books in 1?

Susan: The first book in the series, 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates, won the Selah award and became a number #1 Amazon best seller. I wrote the second book, Christian Study for 7 Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates, to help readers deal with emotional eating. Sometimes emotional wounds from trauma, abuse, or tragedy need healing to stop the cycle of emotional eating. The final book in the series, Healthy Living Journal, won the Golden Scrolls Award for best inspirational gift book. It helps track your eating and well-being to figure out if a specific food is causing problems. I put all three books into a mega book, Healthy Living Series: 3 Books in 1 so readers could purchase all three books for the price of two. You can click here and scroll down the page to read the first chapter of each of these books.

Linda: There’s a lot of health books out there, but I think you add something more to help the process be more successful.  From the title of your second book, it sounds like these books are written from a Christian perspective.

Susan: Yes, they are. Changing ones eating habits is challenging. I know because I craved sugar and carbs when I lost my health nine years ago. I suffered with ten medical diagnoses and two surgeries. One of those issues, a Candida overgrowth in my gut, caused me to desire the wrong kind of foods. As I was struggling to remove alcohol, sugar, and refined carbohydrates from my diet, I used God’s mighty weapons of prayer and the sword of the Spirit to fight temptation. I’ve incorporated many spiritual tactics into these books such as having a prayer/accountability partner. I couldn’t have regained my health without God’s help. 

Linda: I think that is important. Even when we realize we need to change our eating habits, it can be very hard to do. What advice do you have for our readers?

Susan: Many people have lost hope about recovering their health or weight as 50 percent of Americans suffer with a chronic illness and 40 percent experience obesity. But there is hope! God gave us nutritious, healthy food to eat. We need to replace processed food with God’s food, and gain knowledge and spiritual support to reclaim our health. With God’s help, you can!

If you choose to embark on this plan, you will radically improve your health and energy by merely removing sugars and refined carbohydrates. However, this plan is not a diet, where once you complete the seven steps, you’re done. This is a lifestyle change. Typically, diets are unsuccessful because after people lose their desired weight, they go back to old eating habits, which caused them to gain weight in the first place, and find themselves facing the same challenges again and again.

That’s why I’ve gone even deeper and created a course, 7 Steps to Reclaim Your Health and Optimal Weight. This course helps identify the root cause of poor eating habits and resolve it. Once resolved, you get your normal palate and self-control back. When you make this lifestyle change you can experience the life God intended for you to live. You will also be in better shape to serve Him better. 

Linda: With everyone having to shelter at home, are there supplements to take or foods to eat that can help people stay healthier so they are more apt to ward off this virus?

In addition to prevention tactics that I’ll list below, boost your immune system so your body can fight off the virus if you become exposed to it. Follow these immune building tips:

  • Take echinacea. I’ve taken Esberitox for over twenty years. This supplement includes two varieties of echinacea. The chewable tablets taste similar to SweetTarts so kids take them easily.
  • Avoid high sugar foods because sugar decreases the immune system. Don’t eat foods or beverages with added sugar, that includes sugar-laden coffee drinks.
  • Take a daily probiotic to enhance your gut microbiome which is where many of your immune cells are derived.
  • Avoid getting extremely cold. Lowering your body temperature reduces your immune system.
  • Eat a balanced diet with lots of vegetables and fruits. Avoid processed foods.
  • Increase your vitamin C intake by taking a supplement and eating citrus fruits.
  • Get your vitamin D through a supplement or get in the sun.
  • Exercise a couple of times a week.
  • Moderate your alcohol intake.
  • Sleep at least eight hours.

If you are interested in more immune boosting tips watch a YouTube video that Tina Yeager and I created “Immune Boosters You Might Already Have in Your Kitchen.”

Linda:  What are the prevention tactics people need to use to protect their health and stay healthy?

Susan: The number one thing you can do is wear a mask when you are in public. In addition, wash your hands for up to one minute, especially after touching surfaces in public places. After washing my hands in a public restroom, I grab an extra paper towel and use it to open the bathroom door to leave. I use that same paper towel to push the door open to exit the building. I leave the paper towel on the floorboard of my car to discard later.

Also, keep a container of antibacterial wipes in your car. Use a wipe to open doors to public buildings. After shopping, especially when handling money or signing with a public credit card pen, wipe your hands with a wipe when you return to your vehicle. Phones and purses pick up a lot of germs. Wipe off the bottom of your purse, wallet, and phone with an antiseptic wipe.

Linda: Where can readers find more about you and your books in the Healthy Living Series?

Susan: Readers can find my books, courses, and numerous free gifts such as 7-Days to Reboot Your Metabolism at SusanUNeal.com. My motto is “Inspiring others to improve their health so they can serve God better.” May God bless your readers’ endeavor to improve health and well-being.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, Feeling unworthy, health, health issues, Hope, How to win, Interviews, New Directions, stress, Uncategorized, weight problems Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Sifting Our Hearts in Times of Turmoil

June 10, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Aaron Burden

When troubling times come to our nation, I can’t help wondering what God is doing. In these situations, my mind often drifts to some thought-provoking words in the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.” The words were penned during the Civil War by Julia Ward Howe who was an abolitionist. Stanza 4 declares:  “He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment-seat. Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

As I look at what has been happening in our country during the last couple of weeks – the angst and pain, the mayhem and anger, I hear those words in my head “He is sifting out the hearts of men . . . .” and I wonder.

Is that what God is doing? Is He sifting our hearts? And are we listening? Are we listening to what God is saying to us during these times?

What is God Saying to Us?

Jeremiah 17:9 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”  And Proverbs 21:2 pushes the point even further by convicting us of our own stubbornness. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

It’s the human condition. We are fallen creatures. And unfortunately we often seem to need a time of tribulation for God to get our attention. We see this stated again and again throughout scripture. Proverbs 17:3 compares the testing of our hearts to the refining of gold and silver. “The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold. But the Lord tests the heart.”

We have been in the refining pot of late. We may even feel like we’ve been in the furnace. First, during this pandemic, and now in the frightful aftermath of the injustice witnessed in the cruel death of an innocent man.

And I believe God is getting our attention.

In the shock and dismay I see around this land, I see walls crumbling – people who have stood on different sides of the divide – suddenly expressing a new understanding. Hearts are opening in the midst of God’s refining fire. And perhaps this is what God wants to do with us as a people—to sift out the hearts of men before his judgment seat so we can see one another through His eyes. For I believe before the wrongs of our society can be changed, our hearts must change first.

A Demonstration of God’s Healing Love

At Faith Assembly of God in Orlando last Sunday morning, I witnessed a beautiful example of what we as Christians can do to come together with those of other races.

Toward the end of the service, Pastor Carl Stephens (who is white) called a young black man to the stage, who told his story of growing up in a small Georgia town, where he was snubbed and subjected to a steady diet of racial slurs, indignities, and shame throughout his young life. Although he was initially taught to hate those who hated him, some white people who looked past his color to value him as a person opened his heart to another way. One of these was a police officer. But the true answer for racial harmony, he said, lies in hearts being changed by Jesus Christ.

His story was sobering, but what followed touched me more deeply than I can describe.

Pastor Stephens lead him to a chair, knelt, and took a basin of water with which he washed the young black man’s feet. As he did so he spoke about Jesus’ love and Jesus’ example to us of how to serve one another with humility and love.  During those few moments, I know many tears were shed throughout the congregation as we watched this beautiful demonstration of the love of Jesus. It was a time of humility and healing.

The healing that occurred in this church where there is an even mix of races—black, white and Hispanic—was a powerful expression of what we as Christians can do when we allow God’s Word to penetrate our hearts.

Somehow this hit me more acutely than ever before in a way that humbled me as a white woman. I saw the pain and fear that many black people must endure in their daily life. And I couldn’t help thinking: perhaps this is the answer—Christians of all colors and races coming together in the humility of washing each other’s feet.

We are called as Christians to love one another, to serve one another, to have compassion for one another, Colossians 3:12 says, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.”

Correcting the injustices and ills of our society needs to begin with changing the hearts of its people, and the greatest changer of hearts is Jesus Christ. If each of us searches our own hearts, if we allow the love of Jesus to sift through any insensitivities or wrong thinking we have clung to, perhaps we will begin to see the healing of our nation.

“Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! Be jubilant, my feet! Our God is marching on.”

 

You can read more about the origins of The Battle Hymn of the Republic here.

Read the story of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet here: John 13:1-17

 

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Filed Under: Conflict, Danger, Fear, forgiveness, Grief, Hope, Jesus, national concerns, New Directions, Peace, Trying to understand, Uncategorized, Where is God? Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Your Layoff Can Be a Gift in Disguise

May 28, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Guest Post By Mary Aucoin Kaarto

Photo by Tim Mossholder

“Who knows? Maybe this layoff will be one of the best things that ever happened to you!” chirped a much-younger, child-free co-worker of mine, upon learning I had just been laid off.

With my finances falling apart after the layoff, I found her response offensive

While I’m sure she meant well, little did I know just how prophetic her words would become years later. Ever since my book, HELP for the LAID OFF was published, my own personal two-year layoffs as a single mom and the blessings that followed them have allowed me the privilege of listening to and trying to comfort many people who lost their jobs. What has been especially rewarding is when readers follow up with me – even years, later – to let me know where they landed (so to speak), and how. I can’t count the number of times people have told me they were grateful for their layoffs, which allowed them to go back to school, decide to go into business for themselves, spend more time with their kids, etc. Many of them, like me, decided to believe God when He said He had a good plan for their lives.

My first layoff occurred in the early 1990s and the second, began in 2002. Suffice it to say that while I have some experience in terms of the hardships that follow, I can’t begin to imagine how difficult a layoff must be in the midst of this unexpected pandemic. But what I do know, God is still the same: yesterday, today and forever.

The same God that formed you in the womb, gifted you with unique skills and abilities, raised Jesus from the dead, parted the Red Sea, gave sight to the blind and yes – allowed you to lose your job – is the same God who I know will provide for, comfort, strengthen, teach and guide you into a blessed and beautiful future. Because we know God plays no favorites, what He did for me, He will do for those who follow where He leads. Even when they can’t see where He’s taking them, how long it will take to get there, or why.

If you’ve been laid off, I know you may be frightened.  Because of my own two layoffs, I can  understand and empathize. But I want to share one of the many incredible true stories of what I experienced during and after my first layoff, believing it will both encourage you and give you hope. I will share some practical tips I learned as well at the conclusion.

My Story

For almost 20 years while raising my daughter as a single mom and working as an administrative assistant, my dream career was to travel and write for a living—in spite of not having a degree. Shortly before I experienced my first two-year layoff, I decided if I did not do something to try making a career change, God certainly was not going to.

So, I did.

As crazy as it sounds, I called an editor from the Houston Chronicle, introduced myself and pitched her an idea for a story. Layoffs can make a girl do crazy things. Much to my surprise, even after learning I had never been published, she gave me the chance. Even more shocking, she decided to publish it the following week. She gave me a second assignment soon afterward, and a 10+ year working relationship began.

Also, during this layoff and after having received many additional writing assignments, I began contacting local magazines to see if I could find work. Much to my surprise, doors were opened. I began writing about subjects I knew nothing about, shaking in my britches in fear.

Although I was pleased to receive some assignments every month or two, it still wasn’t enough to live on, but it encouraged me to pursue my writing dream.

After about one year, God led me to approach oil and gas magazines. Do you have any idea just how crazy THIS was? The only thing I knew about oil and gas was that you needed them in order to drive a car.

So, I did.

One day I was able to get an editor of one on the phone, so I introduced myself, explained the purpose of my call, and we ended up chatting a blue streak for well over an hour. Jim (not his real name) was just the nicest guy on the planet.

“You have been such a delight to talk to. I am sorry that the company does not hire freelancers, but I would enjoy reading your work. Send me your resume and some of your clips,” he said.

So, I did.

Shortly after this, I received a long-term contract position for an engineering company through a temporary employment agency, which, of course, had no benefits. Even though I realized this temporary job could end at any time, I strongly sensed God challenging me to step out in faith to rent a much more expensive apartment. I felt I had lost my mind that hot day in July as this new apartment increased my rent by $300 month.

I continued to look for a “real” job. A job with a good salary, health insurance, a 401K plan, paid sick leave and paid vacation. Editorial positions are few and far between, even and especially in Houston. Finally, one day, an ad appeared for a full-time editorial position, and I applied for it.

Who knew the publisher himself would call me for an interview? And that one of the editors was the same guy I talked to the year before when I was scouting for freelance assignments? Or, that I would actually receive a job offer? Without having a college degree, no formal training, no mentor and no foot in the door? #withGodallthingsarepossible

Helpful Tips for Navigating the Financial Pain

But what are some practical strategies you can try now to help your financial situation? Some of the ways I learned to make ends meet are as followed:

  1. Bartering for services. A few examples included babysitting my hairdresser’s infant son in exchange for her styling my hair before job interviews;
  2. Taking my friend’s elderly mom to physical therapy appointments three times per week for several months, in exchange for her paying my utility bills; and
  3. Writing an article about my orthopedic surgeon’s practice in exchange for him examining and treating my knee after I fell 16 feet off a ladder.

A layoff is a perfect time to try the unthinkable, with faith as small as a mustard seed, and let God show you what He is capable of when you decide to follow Him.

Who knows – your layoff may be one of the best things that ever happened to you.

For there is no partiality with God. —Romans 2:11

Read more helpful tips for navigating a layoff in Mary’s previous author interview on Heart Talk for her book, Hope for the Laid Off

Mary Aucoin Kaarto is a retired award-winning editor and author of a series of books written specifically for those who are between jobs. Her new book, PRAYERS for the LAID OFF, has just been released. You can read about her first two books, Help for the Laid Off, and Hope for the Laid Off, in her previous Heart Talk interview. She has been featured on TV, radio and in numerous publications. For more information about Mary or her other books, please visit at https://marykaarto.com. Mary invites you to follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @marykaarto.

 

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Filed Under: BOOKS, disappointment, faith, Fear, Finances, Hope, How to win, loss, stress, Trusting God, Trying to understand, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Living in Lockdown

April 16, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Life is crazy and unpredictable right now. The world feels like it has turned upside down. Most of us are in lockdown and can’t leave the house. We can’t go to work. Students have to do “school” from home. We can’t even work off steam by going to the gym. We may be scrambling for food and other items we need – toilet paper anyone?

But sometimes when we feel completely out of control, God has the best opportunity to do some of His greatest work. Our own agenda and our own self-will often blocks what God wants to do. In our busy schedules, we put off time seeking God and push forward trying to do what “we” know is best . . . whatever that is.

So what does God want to do in our lives in the midst of this lockdown?

In my book, Broken Heart on Hold, I talk about taking a coffee break with God when times of marital chaos interrupt our life. Perhaps what’s happening all over our country now gives us another opportunity to take a coffee break with God .

Where is God leading you right now?

If you have extra time during this lockdown, take a day with God. Spend quality time with Him in His Word. Ask Him to shine a light on the path ahead where He will guide you to encounter His very best.

Start your day by praising Him, remembering the blessings He has given you in the past. “The Lord inhabits the praises of His people” (Psalm 22:3). When we praise God, we invite Him to participate in our lives, to enlarge our vision, to give us hope when hope seems far away from everything we see. And as our heart begins to open to His Word, we will see new things He wants to teach us; we will feel His presence; we will find prayers on our lips for those around us who need His touch. A time that seems enveloped in darkness can be illuminated by the light of God’s truth when we open our hearts completely to His leading.

Where is God leading you this week? How is He speaking to your heart?

Use this strange time of solitude and lockdown to find the answer to that question. Sit down with your Bible and a journal and write down what you believe God is speaking to you. Listen to praise music. Invite Him into your presence. Meditate on His Word. Maybe find a new Christian book to read. If you want suggestions, you can scroll through past author interviews I’ve done on my blog to find a book that meets a need.

God may unwrap new mysteries to you as He sheds light on your journey ahead and the path He wants you to follow.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, and a light on my path.”  Psalm 119: 105

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Filed Under: God's Word, Hope, Knowing God, Lonliness, national concerns, New Directions, Peace, Praise, Time with God, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Opportunities for the Family Amidst Stay-at-Home Orders

March 26, 2020 by 1 Comment

“Would you like to read a book together while we’re shut up in the house?” Marv asked a few days ago.

I’m not sure if I looked shocked or just felt it, but his question gave me a pleasant jolt. It was unusual for him to suggest something which seemed so . . . so relational.

But then nothing in the past couple of weeks has been “usual.” Our world has flipped upside down, and while we all watch the daily drip drip of numbers across the country and the world, we’re also finding new ways to cope and new ways to live. And some of them aren’t too bad.

“I love watching so many families taking walks together,” Marv commented again as another group of children accompanied by mom and dad passed by our window.

His comments got me to thinking. He was right. With so many working from home, gyms closed, and stay-at-home orders all over the country, people are forced to spend more time together as families. Families can have meals together and take those walks. That’s one of the good side effects of all this. But it also brings new challenges. For as time wears on, what can we do as a family when the kids begin to get tired of computer games and Disney Plus and have watched every DVD we own five times? We can all get a little stir crazy.

In this unusual moment, we have an opportunity to stretch beyond our customary routines and habits and discover a deeper sense of family. Although many are experiencing a lot of stress, we can also regard it as a time to “enjoy” one another in an unrestricted atmosphere where deadlines no longer define us and expectations of others no longer consume our energy. Here are some suggestions:

  1. If you live in a pleasant climate like we do here in Florida, enjoy those daily walks or bike rides as a family. Even in colder weather, have fun family times on sunshiny days by doing something outside together. But what else can you do?
  2. As a family, try playing board games, doing puzzles and rediscover some of the things people used to do in days gone by. If you don’t have board games, do you remember how to play charades or pantomime quiz? Most children love acting out their favorite movies and songs and making people guess what they’re doing.
  3. Read a book with your children. Get out one of the old classics like Heidi, Tom Sawyer, The Secret Garden, Charlotte’s Web, Peter Pan, Black Beauty, Bambi, or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Reading a book to your children as a family can establish a life-long love for books that brings enjoyment for years to come. Yes, at first the children might balk at the idea of your reading a book that doesn’t have pictures, but within the first half hour, chances are their imaginations will catch up with the stories so the pictures in their minds begin to soar.
  4. Create a treasure hunt in the backyard or inside the house. Let the older children help you write clues, then watch the children scramble around the house (or yard), searching for the treasure. Or for younger children, you can just play hide the teddy bear and let the children look for it. You can absorb a whole evening while children hunt for the elusive bear again and again. After awhile they will want to hide it for each other, and wow, can they ever get creative! Or what about hide and seek? Be prepared for a little more chaos than usual, but also be prepared for more laughter and fun.
  5. Instead of throwing out old corks, strawberry baskets, egg cartons, scraps of material, pieces of yarn and ribbon, or empty jars and cans, use them to do crafts with your kids. Then add in some beans, pasta, pieces of construction paper and cardboard. By just laying out a bunch of “junk” on the kitchen table with some glue and tape, you might be surprised at the creativity that springs forth in your kids.
  6. Let your children use blankets, sheets, and cardboard boxes to build a tent inside the house. Let them be creative. Suggest they make cubbyholes inside for their favorite stuffed animal and a place to enjoy snacks.
  7. Have fun baking with your kids. In addition to baking cookies and cakes, try some new treats. Easter is coming, and there are many creative concoctions you can put together. If you need ideas, you can find some on my Pinterest Page.
  8. Decorate for Easter. Perhaps you can use those craft times to create new Easter decorations. Have you ever learned to blow out eggs? You can find directions and other craft ideas on my Pinterest Page.
  9. Involve your children in helping someone who needs assistance during this time of isolation. Do you know an older person – perhaps a grandparent, neighbor or someone at your church—who could use encouragement? Volunteer to do some grocery shopping for them or run an errand. Make a greeting card and send it in the mail. Make an Easter craft for them and leave it at their front door.
  10. And speaking of Easter. With Easter coming, you might want to treat your children to a fun discovery and a new tradition. On April 7 when the full moon appears, you will probably be surprised to know you can actually see a rabbit in the shadows of the moon. Legends from China, Japan, India and other

    The Bunny Side of Easter

    countries in the Eastern part of the world have celebrated this rabbit for centuries even though few of us in the West have ever heard of him. In my children’s Easter picture book, The Bunny Side of Easter, I transform this legend into an adventurous, but winsome story about the heroism of this rabbit that points children to the true hero of Easter. When the full moon appears on April 7, you can have a Bunny Moon Watch Party with your kids. Children delight in seeing that there’s a rabbit in the moon.

And this year, for those of you who order the book from my official website http://bunnysideofeaster.com, you will also receive a FUNPACK, including character stickers, a puppet of one of the characters, a coloring page, a Happy Easter hat, and an activity book with several games and a discussion guide for parents. You can also order it from Amazon, and you can get it on Prime if you go to the second buying page for the book: https://The Bunny Side of Easter on Amazon , (but it won’t include the FUNPACK.)

God can use this difficult time in our world for good when we trust Him and look beyond regular everyday routines to make the most of our circumstances.

Thank Him for the blessings you have so He can expand your vision and help you see new opportunities to enjoy your family.

Bunny Side of Easter Fun Pack

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Start Where You Are

March 9, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Cheron James

When the world thrusts new challenges in our path – sometimes a life-changing challenge in the form of crisis that we are unprepared to deal with, what do we do? What is our first inclination?

Usually for me it’s to try to figure out all the angles so I can understand it better. For some people, it may be doing a Google search or calling a friend. Others might first visit the gym to work off the anxiety. Or maybe they just go to bed and sleep, hoping it will all go away. Unfortunately, some might even try to numb the tension by escaping through drinking, smoking, or drugs.

With no prospects for immediate solutions, our minds spin in confusion, and everything’s a blur. How do we make wise choices when we can’t understand what’s happening? Where do we go? How do we start?

The best place to start is right where you are.

“Be still,” says Psalm 46:10, “and know that I am God,”

Yes, the first thing to do is stop what you’re doing—whatever it is—and look up. Grasp hold of the one thing you know to be true and real and lasting. And that is the living God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, our loving Father God,

One morning as a teenager, when I was experiencing a time of heartache, I opened my Bible and read Matthew 6:33.  In that passage God revealed the answer to my yearning and the secret to the new beginnings I needed so I could move forward. “Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added to you.”  The words jumped out at me and came alive in my spirit. I knew God was speaking to me, telling me to seek Him first, to come close to Him, and then I would find what I was looking for. That scripture became a tablet on my heart. From that day forward, I have seen Him unfold good things in my life when seeking Him remains my priority. When I veer away from that and start wandering into anxiety, God has a way of bringing me back to that truth until I once again look up and seek Him first. That’s when the answers begin to come.

If we first seek the kingdom of God; if we first seek His righteousness, then these other things will come in His timing and His sovereignty. And we might be surprised at the good things He has in store for us when we let Him direct our paths.

Our Father God is the ultimate reality, the only truth we can always depend on.  When we start with Him He will lead us along paths of victory. My friend and evangelist Jimmy Sowder often told his audiences, “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.”

If you are struggling for answers and need direction, grab hold of Jesus’ hand so He can lift you up. Let your mind be taken captive by the Word of God. Seek His wisdom and ask Him to show you the next best step and the next. Clear your mind of the garbage that holds you back, and put the messiness of the past behind you. Focus completely on God and His Word. If your thinking lingers on the past, remember what God has done for you in former times, the ways He has pulled you out of scrapes and rescued you. Have you thanked Him for these times of deliverance? Whether you did or didn’t, do so now. Acknowledge Him as your Lord and Savior who saves you out of all your worries.

God will lift you up and show you the direction to take. Trust Him one day at a time. He is your loving Father. And He knows the way.

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging (Psalm 46:1-3).

 

Find a path through separation with my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.

 

 

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Tearing Down and Building Up

February 28, 2020 by 2 Comments

Photo by Meric Dagli

Last year when we finished our Marriage 911 class, I witnessed a startling change.

When the class first began, I stood at the podium and looked out at people whose marriages had crumbled around them and their lives falling apart. Their faces were despondent; their eyes filled with questions and doubt. But thirteen weeks later on the night of our final class, many of those same people—eyes shining with new hope—spoke up to tell us of resurrected marriages. Others had not seen their marriages restored, but had discovered a new peace in the waiting and a perseverance to hold onto God and follow His lead.

God was doing a new thing. Lives that previously seemed in ruins were being rebuilt.

As wonderful as this is, however, in the middle of the chaos it’s hard to understand. Why does God allow us to go through such suffering?

In the book of Jeremiah, the prophet warns the people of coming calamity. But at the same time he tells them God will restore them and build them up again. God wanted to get their attention to lead them back to Him, but they wouldn’t listen and kept on living a lifestyle of willfulness and rebellion. So, yes, while God had allowed their lives to plummet into a period of apparent hopelessness, at the same time He was working to bring restoration so He could give them a brand new future.

Isn’t this what sometimes happens to us as Christians when we experience trials? Whether the trial comes about as a result of our own sin, someone else’s sin, or just rough circumstances, crisis brings us to our knees where we finally look up to God for help. And when we do, He shows up, pointing out changes He wants us to make, sins He wants us to abandon, or a new direction He wants us to go.

We are such stubborn creatures, going our own way, doing our own thing, we seldom take the time to really listen to our ever-present Father who wants to lead us into the future He has planned for us. Once He gets our attention, once we start to listen to His words, once we begin to obey what He is telling us to do, He begins to build us up again.

In Jeremiah 31:3 – 4, the Lord’s words ring out to remind us of his love and His presence in our lives even during times of trouble. “I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.”

When trials come and our lives seem to be collapsing around us, it may be a time to look up. God may be trying to get our attention, and if we haven’t been listening, the turmoil we’re experiencing may be His megaphone. But He will not leave us in a place of hopelessness.

His encouraging words in Jeremiah 31.13 tell us His plan. “I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.”

In every life, seasons come. If you are in a season of tumult and confusion, find comfort in the fact that this is only a season, and other seasons will come. Put your hope in God, and He will build you up.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To learn how to rebuild your marriage during a time of marital separation or crisis, check out my latest book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated. A Practical Guide for the Brokenhearted. Let me walk with you on this road to hope and restoration.

 

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Marriage Resources that Can Enhance Your Marriage

October 31, 2019 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Jenny Marvin

Marriages that thrive are marriages that don’t settle for okay, but continually try to make their marriages stronger and more loving. If you have survived a serious challenge to your marriage, if you are newly married, or if your marriage has happily continued on a positive track, make a serious effort to nurture your marriage.

At least once a year try to attend a marriage conference or retreat or take a marriage course at a local church to strengthen communication and rekindle your love for one another.  Or sit down and read a book together that can enrich your marriage and bring you together spiritually. Marriages can be strong at one point and still drift into rough waters if unattended to. Finding a marriage resource to enhance your marriage can take you to a new level of satisfaction in your relationship.

Marriage Conferences and Retreats

Here are seven national marriage conferences, weekend retreats, or workshops that can enhance your marriage and take it to the next level when your marriage is on a positive track.

Weekend to Remember sponsored by Family Life – A two-and-a-half day romantic weekend that entices you to invest in and strengthen your marriage―no matter how firm or fragile. Weekend to Remember is designed to enhance your marriage by helping the two of you to: handle issues well as they arise so resentments don’t fester; express feelings positively; maintain a vital sexual connection; resolve conflict in healthy, productive ways; and forgive freely and completely. Weekend events are scheduled all over the country every year. Couples can easily find one in a nearby location. Weekend to Remember

Gary Chapman’s the Five Love Languages (also called Toward a Growing Marriage)  This Conference with best-selling author and counselor Gary Chapman helps you and your loved one learn how to speak your spouse’s love language. This weekend event helps you put the wisdom of The 5 Love Languages® into practice so you can gain new insight into your relationships so you can experience a more loving marriage. Based on Gary Chapman’s best selling book, The Five Love Languages. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/conference/5-love-languages-marriage-conference/

Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage –  A two day Couples’ Comedy Event® uses humor to explore the underlying dynamics of male/female relationships. Mark Gungor’s teaching is touted as “enjoyable, effective and memorable” while bringing clarity and practical solutions to common relationship woes. Mark is Senior Pastor of Celebration Church—a multi-site church in Wisconsin. https://markgungor.com/pages/live-events-1

Marriage Encounter Weekend – A worldwide program that can restore communication, renew commitment, and rekindle romance in your marriage. Rather than listening to lectures, couples actually learn and practice a practical communication technique that can help you rediscover your hopes and dreams for your marriage. Marriage Encounter is offered in numerous languages and dialects in nearly 100 countries. Weekends take place across the North American continent.  http://www.wwme.org/

Marriage on the Rock –Jimmy and Karen Evans –  XO Marriage conferences are a one or two-day experience that provides expert marriage advice and practical teachings to help you navigate your marriage journey and recharge your relationship. Conferences take place all across the U.S.  For thirty years Jimmy and Karen Evans have used the international ministry of Marriage Today to minister to couples on TV and the Internet. Jimmy is senior pastor of Gateway Church in Dallas.   https://marriagetoday.com/event/

Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise – This event, sponsored by Family Life, is a getaway for married couples looking for relaxation, renewal, romance and life-long memories. The eight-day seven night, fully-chartered cruise sails from Fort Lauderdale, FL to Coco Cay Bahamas, San Juan Puerto Rico, and St. Thomas. The cruise includes biblical teaching and refreshing words on marriage by top Christian leaders along with concerts and entertainment by Christian artists. Best of all you can enjoy lots of quality time with your spouse. https://www.lovelikeyoumeanitcruise.com/

Getting The Love You Want Workshop for Couples – Certified therapists and facilitators can transform your relationship by helping you connect at a deeper level. This workshop based on Imago Relationship Therapy developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D, guides couples with practical tools and strategies to create satisfying and long-lasting relationships. Imago teaches that relationship power-struggles are an opportunity for healing and growth and can establish a deeper connection in couples. When you learn how to move through conflict with compassion and empathy, disagreements in your relationship evolve into something deeper and more fulfilling. Imago workshops can be found across the country. https://imagorelationshipswork.com/find-a-professional/workshops

Close-to-Home Marriage Resources That Can Enhance Your Marriage

Marriage Classes at a Local Church

If you can’t afford to invest in a weekend event, but still want to find a way to recharge your marriage, another alternative is to attend a marriage class at your own church or one in your community. These close-at-home marriage resources may be easier to fit into busy lives and still enhance your marriage in significant ways. Here are a few popular ones to look for.

Marriage Oneness – Explores God’s design for marriage oneness of heart, mind and soul. After a private relationship assessment at the beginning of the course, each session covers one of seven important issues affecting marriage, including communication, conflict resolution, finances, spiritual beliefs, sexual intimacy, roles and responsibilities, and family and friends. https://www.familylife.com/smallgroups/marriage-oneness/

Love and Respect – Helps you discover a simple truth hidden in plain sight that explains why your spouse negatively reacts to you, and shows you how to change your reaction. Based on the best selling book, Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs, PhD.  https://www.loveandrespect.com/

The Art of Marriage – The Art of Marriage weaves together expert teaching, real-life stories, humorous vignettes, and more to portray both the challenges and the beauty of God’s design. The course helps you identify your top 10 list of what you are doing RIGHT in your marriage. The class shows you that when you are aware of what you are doing right and intentionally repeat those things with confidence, you will enhance your marriage. Video topics take you through the stages of love in marriage. https://www.familylife.com/art-of-marriage/video-event

The Marriage Course – The Marriage Course is a series of seven sessions, designed to help couples invest in their relationship and build a strong marriage. The class features videos of couples talking about their marriages. https://themarriagecourses.org/

The above resources can enhance your marriage, but some marriages need more.

Marriage Resources to Heal Hurting Marriages

Resources that merely enhance your marriage probably aren’t enough, however, if your marriage is spiraling downward. If your marriage is in crisis and needs special help to even survive, there are conferences, programs, classes, and books that are just for you also. Two weeks from now, we will look at some of these. Next week, I will interview the authors of one of these books, Marriage Off Course by Clint and Penny Bragg. The following week, we will look at more marriage resources that can both heal and enhance your marriage.

If you need help right now though to restore your marriage, I encourage you to pick up one of the books below.

  • Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated gives practical guidance and strategies to heal and restore a broken marriage.
  • Broken Heart on Hold helps you find healing from the emotional pain of a hurting marriage and strengthens you to take the next step.
  • Together, these books will walk with you on your journey to wholeness.

Have you attended any of these conferences or classes? What did you think about them?  We’d love to hear your comments.

Also, what marriage resources do you plan to take advantage of next to enhance your marriage? What is your next step?

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