Attitudes Matter

August 11, 2020 by 2 Comments

Photo by JE Shoots-com

It’s funny how sometimes the things I write are more about teaching myself something than teaching others. A recent blogpost I wrote has been swirling around in my mind over and over for several weeks: the one I wrote called, “A Waste of Time”—the one I wrote about our attitudes while waiting.

It came back and hit me hard a few weeks ago when I encountered a serious computer problem that I absolutely could not resolve.

I had written a newsletter to send out to those on my mailing list. I was leaving for vacation two days later and wanted to be sure to get it in the hands of those who looked to me for encouragement before I left. When I tried to send it out, however, I got an error message, saying I was sending spam.

Spam? Spam? My newsletter to encourage those in troubled marriages was spam?

I tried to send it again and again, checked the content to see if there was anything that could be considered objectionable, deleted a couple of phrases that talked about “your mind exploding during crisis” and another phrase that might be taken out of context by algorhythms scanning content. I tried sending it to different lists. I tried sending it to just myself. Nothing worked I continued to get an error message that it was spam.

Finally, I turned the computer off and left it for a couple of hours to give my system a little rest. When I turned it back on, my password was not recognized by the server and I couldn’t get back into my email.  It was past 5 o’clock by now so I had to wait until the next morning to call our phone company—the day I needed to prepare for our trip.

I was on the phone for two hours with the phone rep as she tried to resolve the problem and eventually had me choose a new password. When we tried again to send the newsletter, it still brought up the error message. She advised me to turn off my computer again, wait a couple of hours, and try later.

I did. The error message came up the same as before.

Having to prepare for our trip, I had no more time to call the company again.

As we left for our trip the following day, the newsletter remained in my outbox.

It was during this time I found myself thinking about the blog post I’d written a couple of weeks earlier about how God sometimes values the process more than our achieving our subsequent goal, and–even more pointedly–our need to check our attitudes when we have to “wait”, when the computer doesn’t work, etc.

In times past, computer problems rile my patience probably more than anything else I can think of.  But this time I thought about my blogpost. I realized that perhaps the message I wanted to send to my subscribers might not be as important to God as my attitude when I have to wait. Maybe God wanted to refine me some more and prune that impatience from my character. Instead of grumbling and complaining, I needed to pause and pray. I needed to trust God that He was working behind the scenes to accomplish His best purposes.

I didn’t want to leave my subscribers in the lurch. But neither did He. After all, God can take care of those on my newsletter list far better than I can. He knows their every need. He has promised to take care of them.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:26-27).

My fretting and worrying about sending the newsletters wouldn’t help. But my prayers for those on my list would.  While we focus on the details of here and now, God has bigger plans for us and for those we love and those we want to help. Trusting Him, looking to Him, and praying will reap bigger benefits to ourselves and those around us than expressing our impatience and frustration in ways that do not honor Him.

****

“He does want to grow our character, and it’s a lifelong process.  Perhaps God’s purpose for allowing us to trudge through the process is reflected best in Paul’s instruction to the Philippians. “’Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Philippians 2:12-13).

Finally, 1 Peter 2:5, shares God’s ultimate purpose and design for these unwanted periods of “wasted time.” For those of us who are Christians, 1 Peter 2:5 says, ”’you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.’” From my earlier blog post on Heart Talk, June 25, 2020

When have you had to do an “attitude check?”  Join in the conversation and share your story.

 

Practical steps to healing your marriage — Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated available now.

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Wounded Women of the Bible, Finding Hope When It Hurts – Interview with co-author Tina Samples

July 16, 2020 by 3 Comments

Today I’m happy to be interviewing Tina Samples, co-author of Wounded Women of the Bible: Finding Hope When Life Hurts. In her book, Tina and co-author Dena Dyer share stories of hope from both the Bible and real life, which I think will encourage many of you. Tina is a Colorado-based writer, speaker, and worship leader, who serves alongside her husband Dave, the pastor of Grace River Church in Windsor, Colorado.

 Linda: Tina, tell me what prompted the writing of this book?

Tina: As a pastor’s wife, I minister to many hurting and wounded women. I started meeting with four women who were having extreme difficulties in their marriage. After our first meeting, I left wishing there was some kind of study I could use to help these women through their crises and suffering. A few days later I awoke with my name being called. “Tina!” The clock read 3:00am. Thinking perhaps my son was calling for me, I listened.  But I did not hear my son. Instead, I heard, “Tina, women in the Bible who have been wounded.” I asked the Lord if I should write about that and in my spirit heard him say yes. I then began the process of researching women in the Bible who were wounded. I had no idea the project would turn into anything more. Later on, I realized this project was bigger than me and asked my wonderful friend Dena Dyer, if she would like to help write the book. I’m so glad she agreed.

Linda:  The premise of Wounded Women of the Bible is that women today are not alone: women all around them, and women in the past (in the Bible), have experienced the same difficulties. What are some of the stories from Wounded Women of the Bible?

Tina: As we look through the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, we find many women who experienced deep pain in a variety of ways. In Wounded Women of the Bible, we look at these women’s lives. We touch on the two women in Solomon’s court and the battle of betraying a friend. We take a look at Abigail who seemed to have it all, yet behind closed doors lived with a mean and surly man. The readers will hear the desperation from the widow of Zarephath who struggled to make it through a famine. They will read about Jephthah and the wounding a father can place on their daughters. This book touches on wounded relationships and women who suffered through infertility. We read Jochebed’s story of having to release a child. And then there is Dinah who was sexually violated. Women will be able to relate to so many women in this book because we’ve been through it ourselves.

Dena did a wonderful job interviewing women in today’s world who experienced similar wounds as the biblical women. Modern day women share their own stories of healing. Women will come away with a greater understanding that they are not alone in their quest to find freedom.

Linda:  Along those lines, what are some of the stories from your own past that are used in the book?

Tina:  I grew up in poverty. My father stumbled into a life of crime early on in his life. He was a non-believer and my mother was a believer. Through my mother’s influence, we came to know Christ. I share about my own sexual abuse as a child and how God helped me find forgiveness and freedom. I share about a great loss. My brother’s murder was horrific and difficult to overcome.

Dena also shares some of her own personal stories, struggles, wounds, and how God helped her walk through them. The book was difficult at times to write, yet cathartic and healing all at the same time.

Linda: What do readers need to keep in mind when reading Wounded Women of the Bible?

Tina: This book is meant to open eyes and bring insight to how biblical women faced similar wounds that we go through. Our prayer has been that through this book, women will come to face their own hidden wounds and find freedom once and for all. It’s easy for women to cover their pain and past wounds with a band aide, but God wants to take off these superficial fixes and bind the wound in His way. Psalm 147 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” The word binding means to wrap like a turban. Think of a cast. When someone has a broken leg, the doctor casts it so the break can heal. The Lord wants to do the same with our wounds. God wants to wrap them with His healing balm. The balm comes in the form of His words, scripture, Bible passages, walking with us while we work through our hurts, allowing God to love us through them, and receiving His help. We just need to allow God to rip away the band aide we’ve placed on the wound so He can truly heal what’s beneath.

Linda: Pain can be felt in so many ways: the death of a loved one, divorce, infertility, etc. How can one person’s pain help another person if they did not experience the same thing?

Tina: We may not be able to relate to every person’s story but there is one thing we can relate to: the wound. I’ve never met a woman who hasn’t been wounded in some way or another. We can empathize with others by reminding ourselves of the pain we once experienced and how God brought us through that situation. Pain is pain. We can choose to walk through life with other hurting women. So often we have a difficult time doing that due to our own wounds. But when we find freedom – we have the power to minister in ways we never dreamed possible.

Linda:  On your webpage, you have something called the “Wounded Women Pledge.” I have a feeling there might be a story behind this.  Can you tell us the reason for this?”

Tina:  At our previous church, I was wounded by someone close to me. As the pastor’s wife, I found that many women had a difficult time reaching out to me. Many of my friends turned away. I felt abandoned and alone. For some reason women often have a difficult time walking with other hurting women. We judge and turn away too easily. Perhaps the wound gets a little too close to the woman who never fully dealt with her own wound. I’ve heard sad stories from women losing longtime friends because they divorced due to abusive relationships or from infidelity. Those women could not walk with them through their grief or through God restoring them due to sin.  It truly is time to stand up and walk with one another as Christ would have done for us had He been here in the flesh – and continues to do in the Spirit. I encourage readers to take the pledge and decide to walk with wounded and hurting women.”

Linda: What are one or two major points that you would like your readers to take away?

Tina: God is never far away and though it may feel like it, He never gives up on us. His passion is to bring hope and healing into our lives so that we can live life abundantly. There is hope. We never walk alone. Freedom awaits. We just meed to step into it.

I also want readers to find out about other ways to minister to hurting women by taking the Wounded Women Pledge to walk with wounded and hurting women. Also, they can connect with Blogs for the Healing on my webpage @ www.tinasamples.com.

Linda:  Where can readers find out more about your book?

Tina: You can find Wounded Women of the Bible on Amazon,  on my website at https://www.tinasamples.com/ or any other bookstore.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Abuse, BOOKS, comfort, Depression, faith, Fear, Feeling unworthy, forgiveness, Hope, Interviews, Marriage problems, Pain, Problems, Sexual abuse, Wounded women Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Surviving the Trial of Our Lives

July 2, 2020 by 2 Comments

God Sometimes Uses His Mysterious Ways to Bring a Marriage Together

Guest Post By Janet Holm McHenry

Photo by Josh Applegate

Every once in a while someone will ask, “What’s been your toughest trial?”

It all comes back quickly. Craig and I were sitting on a bench outside the courtroom when the jury started walking toward us to head back in after deliberations.

The disgusted, even angry looks on their faces as they saw us made me instantly ill.

Minutes later came the verdicts. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

A rancher, my husband was convicted of six felony counts of animal abuse relating to the deaths of six young calves that had wandered during a two-day blizzard in the Sierras in the winter of 2001.

We had thought the two-week trial was simply something we’d have to live through. However, from the get-go the judge seemed to have it out for my husband. He harassed every defense witness—even two cattle veterinarians and me.

When I was trying to testify that Craig brought newborn calves into our home to warm them during winter weather, the judge interrupted me: “Who are you, Virginia Woolf, that you go on and on?”

He also stopped evidence from being admitted, including auction records that showed my husband got top dollar for his animals.

The worst was when the judge would not allow our chief witness to testify—a UC Davis veterinary school professor considered the top beef expert west of the Rockies. He would have testified at trial that of the two animals necropsied, one had twenty pounds of feed in its stomach and the other, a high level of colostrum.

And so my husband was convicted, and we had to wait two months before the sentencing.  The wait was not easy for me. My heart would not stop racing, and I had to go on anti-depressants. I quit working my job as a high school English teacher several weeks before graduation.

I could not go out in public. The trial jury of our peers in our county of three thousand had slapped us in the face. One jury member was the business manager of our small school district. Another was a woman who had subbed for me in my classroom. And the jury foreman was the son of a woman with whom I had prayerwalked. I had walked and prayed for those people and my town. I could not face people.

I wasn’t so happy with my husband either. For years I had prayed for our marriage. We’d struggled so much that when Craig had a law office a decade earlier, I typed up my own petition for dissolution of marriage when I worked for him—just to see what it would look like. It didn’t look good, so I gutted it out. And while the convictions brought out a lot of the blame game on my part, I did my best to support him nonetheless.

On the day of the sentencing, we filled the courtroom with family and friends, including six pastors. The judge, seemingly alarmed with such support for Craig, gave him two years of probation and a fine that was the equivalent of a year of income for us. In the shadow that was our lives that was a bit of hopeful light.

After the sentencing hearing a large group of women surrounded me, and Craig’s friends surrounded him. I was stunned at people’s reactions.

One friend said, “I was so impressed with Craig’s faith—the quiet peace on his face.”

Another said, “He is a living testimony to the power of God!”

My mother said, “Craig could run for mayor and win!”

As they were speaking, I looked over at my husband, seemingly glowing with a calm and presence I’d never seen before. He truly was a testimony to the power of God, and a sense of love for him I’d never known before came over me.

Right then I knew that while we had just experienced the hell-on-earth trial of our lives, God had answered my prayers for my marriage through that awful experience.

For more than a year Craig and I worked together to write the appeal that he filed with the California Court of Appeals in Sacramento—documenting from the court transcript the more than two hundred prejudicial statements and actions from the judge.  And about two years after the original trial, the appeals court overturned the convictions.

When I told our story at a conference last year, an appeals attorney told me afterwards that in his career he’d only won one case—that’s how rare that happens.

Since that time God has blessed us with the best years of our married life. Craig has become outspoken about his faith, and I love him more than ever, proving the truth of my favorite verse, “Nothing is impossible with God” (Matthew 19:26).

 

Janet McHenry is a national speaker and the author of 24 books—six of those on prayer, including the bestselling PrayerWalk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus, in which she writes more about how Jesus’s prayers can help people through seemingly hopeless seasons. More information on her speaking and books can be found on her website: https://www.janetmchenry.com.

              

 

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A Waste of Time

June 25, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Jon Tyson

After spending the morning pulling weeds, I sat on the porch and gazed out at our yard. Was all my effort pulling weeds a waste of time? Would they all grow back? I thought of the many hours I had spent over the years pulling weeds only to have to go back before long to pull more. A weed magnet—that’s our yard. I could never get them under control.

Was it just a waste of time?

With that question lurking in my mind, I sipped some iced tea and began leafing through a magazine. My eyes fell on an article about missionaries working in an unnamed country with very strict laws. Recent regulatory changes required the missionaries to acquire a building and meet very high standards that would take time to develop, They weren’t sure they could do it before their visas expired. The article told of the many months that passed as they prayed and searched their host city for a property that met the very detailed specifications. After a number of potential arrangements fell through, they grew more and more discouraged. But then, right at the last minute, they found what they needed and were able to meet all the specifications. They called it a miracle.

All the time it took them, I thought. It seemed a waste of time. They were missionaries. They were praying, and yet . . . it still took time.

So was it a waste of time?

I am so project oriented I often measure the success of my days by how much I accomplish on my list. Time is important to me. I hate wasting time—especially when the computer freezes up or I misplace something and have to look for it—or a hundred other things that seem to take longer than necessary. Some of you may feel having to stay home during this pandemic has been a waste of your time.

But the strange thing is: God doesn’t seem to care if we waste time. When I think about how long it took for my first book to get published even though it’s now helped so many people, when we think about the story of the missionaries or many other instances in which someone has been praying for a long time for their marriage to be reconciled or their health to be restored, we can’t help wondering, “Why doesn’t God answer immediately?” He certainly has the power to do it. Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to everyone for the prayers to be answered quickly? After all they are PRAYING!

But when I ponder over that question, I realize time doesn’t seem to be God’s biggest concern.

God seems more interested in something else.

To begin with, 2 Peter 3:8-9 reminds us, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

So for God, the process is apparently more important than our timetables. First, He wants those in our sphere of influence to “come to repentance,” to come to salvation so they can become children of God.

Secondly, He is interested in how we go about trying to achieve our goals. What are we doing while waiting—or looking for something lost? Grumbling? Complaining? Angry at God or others? Slumping into depression? Or are we using this time to come close to God and ask for direction and counsel? Perhaps He wants to use this time to refine our characters and help us grow closer to Him. Do we pause and pray? Seek answers from scripture? Talk to Christian friends? Praise Him in the midst of our trials? Are we growing in some way?

James 3:8 instructs us to: “Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 3:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Perhaps God’s purpose for allowing us to trudge through the process is reflected best in Paul’s instruction to the Philippians. “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12-13)

Finally, 1 Peter 2:5, shares God’s ultimate purpose and design for these unwanted periods of “wasted time.” For those of us who are Christians, 1 Peter 2:5 says, ”you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

All in the Process

Our Christian life is in process. God wants to continue to grow us so we can win the race and be all that we can be when we enter His kingdom. What we consider a waste of time may actually be an opportunity to dive more deeply into God’s purposes. God is more interested in the process we are going through than the achievement of our goals. For in the process, He wants us to turn to Him and use our times of uncertainty to come closer to Him in relationship.

The same is actually true of my weeds. Although I often begrudge the need to do it, my work pulling weeds often becomes a special time with God. In those quiet moments, if I’m listening, God speaks to me through the mysteries of His creation and teaches me more about life, love, and how to know Him better.

So is it a waste of time? No, it’s all in the process. If we’re listening and seeking, if we want to win the race, God can use those lost moments of wasted time to show us more of Himself.

 “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

If you’ve been praying for your marriage and you still don’t know if reconciliation will take place, you may find help in my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated.  There’s hope even if you’re fighting for your marriage alone.

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Thirteen Things We May Have Learned In Quarantine

May 19, 2020 by Leave a Comment

Photo by Umit Bulut

Now that parts of the country are beginning to open up again, and before we move too fast to getting back to “normal,” perhaps it would be good to reflect on what we’ve learned during this time of quarantine.

Only few times in history has the entire world suffered through the same experience at the same time, but 2020 will long be remembered as a time when we all knew the fear and anxiety of a worldwide pandemic that arbitrarily claims lives. It will also be remembered as a time when we all were cloistered within our homes with few interactions with those outside our immediate family.

As tragic as this situation has been for many, I believe in every situation—good or bad, we have an opportunity to learn something that will grow us into stronger and better individuals.

So what have we learned during this quarantine?

  1. One of the happiest sights I’ve seen during this time of isolation are families strolling through the neighborhood, talking and laughing together. Moms and Dads and their kids are spending time with each other in large chunks of both quantity and quality time. It’s been an opportunity to get to know and enjoy the individuals living in our own house. Without the outside interference, the nuclear family is sharing new experiences together. Perhaps this time of quarantine has even created unique and special memories for our children.
  2. And how about the joy of spending time outside! With gyms closed, we’re learning to enjoy nature by running, walking, and biking instead of going to the gym. While in quarantine, I’ve been reading a book about having a healthier brain. In this book, author Timothy R. Jennings, M.D. sites studies, showing that spending time in nature provides multiple healthy benefits. Beyond that though, these studies also show that “exercise conducted outdoors rather than indoors appears to have a more robust heath benefit.” He goes on to cite research that shows how physical exercise conducted outdoors instead of indoors results in lower rates of depression, improvement in self-esteem and mood, as well as benefits in such things as heart rate, blood pressure, autonomic response and endocrine markers. Something to remember when gyms open up again and life resumes its usual pace.
  3. Learning to appreciate the luxury of going to the grocery store and finding anything we want on the shelves. Not every country has this luxury. Here in the U.S. we are so blessed as a nation in simply being able to go to the store, knowing we can find whatever we’re in the mood for. Having now gone through a time when many shelves were bare during the quarantine, let’s remember this lesson when we return to normal and be thankful for the many advantages we have in this country instead of dwelling on what we don’t have.
  4. Learning to appreciate our jobs and getting a paycheck. We might complain about them at times, but when they’re taken away from us, we realize how fortunate we truly are. We may not be as rich as some of our friends or someone we see on TV, but by having a job, we are able to support ourselves and our family.
  5. Since neighbors are the only people we really get to see, we are getting a chance to know them a little better – even if it’s only a social-distancing safe encounter. Continuing to foster these friendships with neighbors when the quarantine is over can strengthen our sense of community.
  6. Appreciating technology. This is a big one for me because I often complain about it. However, without the amazing advances of technology we would have no way to communicate with the outside world during this time of isolation. How thankful I am for it now so we are not completely shut off from friends and family who live apart from us.
  7. However, we are also learning that communicating through technology is not as satisfying as communicating with people in person. We have particularly found that online learning is not as successful as learning in the classroom. Seeing how many students struggle with classes, time management, and staying focused with distance learning, we realize more than ever the significance of a teacher’s role in a child’s learning experience. Having a real live, present teacher to interact with and respond to is so much more rewarding than staring at a computer screen even if there’s a talking head on the other end. I think we’ve learned that we are social creatures after all.
  8. Because of fewer visits to the grocery store, some of us may be learning to do a better job of conserving food and using leftovers. Knowing I can’t immediately go to the store to replenish ingredients makes me stretch the food I already have so it lasts longer. A recent study of the habits of 2,000 Americans showed that the average American wastes 103 pounds of food per year. Perhaps being quarantined has helped us learn to manage our food more carefully, frugally, and creatively.
  9. For those of us who are a little more industrious, we may be celebrating the chance to use the extra time to clean out closets or drawers or even our garage. (My hand is going up here.) Having to stay home has provided a good opportunity to finish up projects or start one we’ve had to put off because of our usual busyness.
  10. We may also be realizing the importance of validating elderly parents and grandparents with our visits. One of the saddest things for me during this season of COVID 19 is seeing those in nursing homes and assisted living facilities living in isolation without visits from family and friends or even congregating together for meals and activities. Remembering my own mother when she lived in a nursing home for a time, I know how important my daily visits were to her. I can’t imagine her mental and emotional health could have survived months of isolation. My prayer is that those who care for the elderly in these facilities will soon be given plans to bring relief to the loneliness of their charges. I pray also that each of us will value our elderly relatives more than ever and shower them with our love and attention when things return to normal.
  11. Children have learned things too. During the quarantine, they’ve been able to use their free time to rediscover the fun of imaginative play and creative ventures like building forts, playing make believe, making crafts, or reading books for pleasure and discovering board games and puzzles with family.
  12. And, of course, we’ve learned the importance of  washing our hands for 20 seconds on a regular basis. Because it’s hard to tick off the seconds correctly, I recently learned that singing the Doxology while washing your hands is a good reminder of how to measure the time. It’s also a good reminder to continually lift our voices in praise to our loving Father throughout the day. Here’s a quick reminder of the words: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.” If you just read that, it should have been a 20 second read! You might remember that next time you wash your hands.
  13. And this brings us to perhaps the most significant question many of us have dealt with during this time—the question of our mortality. As we’ve watched the COVID 19 death toll rising each day, we realize death is a part of life. Our own mortality stares us in the face each time the news reports peel off the new statistics. Because of this, we’re perhaps more aware of the finiteness of life, our limited time on earth, and the frailty of our individual lives. Prayer and thoughts of God and eternity may hover a little longer in our minds. We indeed are finite creatures, small in the context of a larger universe. But this needn’t bring fear when we open our hearts and minds to the sovereignty of a God who loves us and designed us to be in fellowship and relationship with Him. He has a plan for us, a future for us, and when we submit ourselves to His love, our lives can become richer and fuller as we walk toward the eternity He prepared for us through the gift of His son.

In each event of life—both good and bad—I see the truth of God’s promise in Romans 8:28: “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” I believe that this is even true in the days of COVID 19. In spite of the difficulties of this time, God can use it for our good and His purposes when we come to Him with open hearts and minds.

What have you learned in quarantine? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

If this quarantine has been strained because of a marriage in trouble, my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated might help you take the next best step.

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When You Need a 911 Prayer Line

July 24, 2019 by 2 Comments

Jason Leung

A few years ago, when Hurricane Matthew was bearing down upon our home in Florida, my daughter in California texted me the entire passage of Psalm 91, a comforting Psalm about God’s protection.

A year later, when fires raged not far from her California home, I texted her that same Psalm to reassure her that God was watching over her.

Psalm 91 became our go-to scripture whenever we needed peace to face frightening circumstances.

Months later while we were again dealing with a worrisome situation, my daughter pointed out an amazing fact about this powerful scripture.

When we read or pray over Psalm 91, we are dialing 911 to God. Psalm 91:1 and the verses that follow bring on God’s rescue team whenever we’re afraid. They are full of His promises. And when we are fearful, these words not only comfort our hearts, but cover us with God’s loving protection so He can shield us from harm. Psalm 91:1 begins:

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday” (Psalm 91:1-6).

Life can be scary at times. Recently our world has been besieged with hurricanes, fires, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes, and even a volcanic eruption. But frequently the fear is more personal. It may be a life-threatening physical ailment, a relationship breakdown like a separation or impending divorce, financial hardship, or mental or emotional stress from the many pressures we face.

Just as we dial 911 to bring the ambulance to our doorstep, when we call out to God, we summon His angels to our rescue. And just as we need to trust the paramedics to skillfully handle our situation and treat our wounds, so we must trust our heavenly Father to take command of our circumstances. Then His peace will quiet our hearts and assure us that He is in control.

Verse 10 of Psalm 91 continues with, “If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the Lord, who is my refuge—then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” (Psalm 91:10-11).

When we ask God to abide with us as our Lord and Savior, our 911 emergency prayer mode can kick in more naturally to provide sure and lasting protection when danger threatens.  For when we ask Him to take a permanent role in our lives, He walks with us through our troubles.  We need only to call on Him to bring Him to our rescue. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him” (Psalm 91: 14-15).

Whenever you feel overwhelmed with fear, call God’s 911 hotline by turning to Psalm 91:1 and the verses that follow. His promises will calm your heart and remind you that you have a mighty God who loves you and watches over you. All you have to do is call on His name.

 

If you are struggling through a difficult time in your marriage, please check out my new book, Fighting for Your Marriage while Separated

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MESSY GARDENS – MESSY LIVES

March 27, 2019 by 2 Comments

Feeling the need for a concentrated time of prayer one morning, I stepped onto the patio with Bible in hand and cozied myself into one of the lawn chairs. I felt unsettled.   Things were not going as I thought they should, and I felt my heart tugging in several directions.  The needs in my life seemed numerous and I longed for direction, but my prayers seemed to hang suspended without answers. How was my world fitting together?

As I reflected on my circumstances, I gazed about the wilderness of my yard.  It was wild and messy and reminded me of a scene from The Shack, a book I’d been reading in which the protagonist Mackenzie encounters God and works through some of the ironies of his faith.  In this particular scene, when Mackenzie walks into a garden with a character named Sarayu, who represents the Holy Spirit, Sarayu tells him about the significance of the garden’s messiness. “This garden is your soul,” Sarayu says to Mackenzie.  “This mess is you!”  

The messy garden was his soul?

Wow!

I related.  I felt that I was a mess right then—scrambled and unsure of myself.  Maybe this garden –my own yard—was a picture of my soul, pretty in spots, but unkempt and messy in others.  Certain bushes flowered; others waited for another season to bloom.  Fern and philodendron meandered about, overgrown and out of control.  Everywhere weeds, desperately needing extraction, wound through beds, spoiling what would otherwise be attractive

The words of Sarayu continued swirling through my head as he further unveiled to Mackenzie why they had spent the morning together digging in the garden, which was desperately confusing and messy and “a chaos of color,” but beautiful at the same time.

“Together you and I, we have been working with a purpose in your heart. And it is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process.  To you it seems like a mess, but I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive.”

The memory of Sarayu’s words hit me with meaning. Was this similar to how I was?  My messy garden and my messy life, both in process?  Both wild and beautiful at the same time?  Could the messiness in my life actually be part of the beauty?

A Message Through the Ages

As I read my Bible that day and contemplated the truth I saw in my garden as it related to the scene from The Shack, I realized that this had been one of God’s messages throughout the ages.  When we allow God to work in our lives, He uses our strengths and weaknesses, pain and joy, failures and successes for His good purpose.  We are infinitely complex, and the Holy Spirit joyfully cultivates the beauty and messiness of our lives, scrambling it all together to form a perfect design that pulsates with new life as it emerges from the confusion of its surroundings.   Even the Bible surprises us with countless stories of people who followed God but had imperfect lives.

Take a look at Peter, Jesus’ disciple. He must have bitterly bemoaned his messy and capricious heart as he wept bitter tears after denying Jesus not once but three times and at the very moment his Lord was being condemned to death by the Pharisees.  How his heart must have withered when Jesus looked at him after that third denial.  The conviction that must have burned within his heart!  The self-doubt! The self-condemnation!  Peter had walked beside Jesus for three years, loved him, vowed never to leave him, but in Jesus’ greatest hour of need, he denied that he even knew him.

But Peter—like us—was in process.  He’d come from being a rough-speaking fisherman to a follower of Jesus who one moment was adamant in his unfailing love and the next embarrassed and afraid to be discovered as one of his followers.  After Jesus rose from the dead, Jesus plied Peter with questions to test his heart, then challenged him to take the keys of God’s kingdom to a lost world. Peter led the charge.  He became a leader among the apostles, suffering many times for his steadfast loyalty and courageous preaching about Jesus as the way to salvation.  God took his messy heart and turned him into the rock, the foundation for a growing church of believers.

Like Peter, I’m in process.  You’re in process.  God looks deep within us and sees the good as well as the messy and troublesome parts that with a little prodding can bloom into something beautiful—something He saw there at the beginning of time when He first thought to create us.  He has a future and a plan for us that will grow into reality when we allow Him to be the Gardener of our hearts.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. . . . It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Phil: 1:6 & 2:13

© Linda Rooks 2019

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Dear God I’m Desperate – Author Interview with Jeanne Le May

August 23, 2018 by Leave a Comment

DO YOU EVER WISH you could write a letter to God, telling Him your troubles, and then get a direct response back from Him with a specific answer to your particular concern? In Jeanne Le May’s new book, Dear God I’m Desperate–Women Have Issues, God Has Answers, Jeanne does just this. Each chapter begins with an honest and desperate letter to God, followed by an encouraging and scripturally based answer.

Today, I’m happy to be interviewing author Jeanne Le May to learn more about what readers can expect when reading her book.

Linda: What led you to write this book?

Jeanne:  My personal struggles in two broken marriages that ended in divorce prompted me to face the reality of my own desperation. Overusing prescription drugs to cope with my pain brought no relief.

Distraught and without hope, journaling became my heart’s constant cry to God. A pattern of communication developed, I’d pour out my raw emotions to God, and He would answer with loving kindness from His Word. No matter the circumstances, I could come to Him, and He would nurture, comfort and encourage my soul.

Soon, everywhere I turned, I observed other women also suffering with serious issues. I kept thinking God could help them, too—if only they would cry out to their loving Father. So I started writing letters to God on their behalf . . . and God answered.

Linda:  I love the idea of journaling. I found that so helpful too when I was separated from my husband. And journaling from God’s Word brings real answers. The subtitle of your book is Women Have Issues, God Has Answers. What are some examples of the issues you address in your book?

Jeanne: Dear God I’m Desperate includes difficult topics of universal interest to women that our culture and churches often tend to ignore for the sake of political correctness:

  • Divorce
  • Husbands addicted to pornography
  • Post-abortion heartache
  • Homosexuality
  • Depression
  • Abuse

This book creates a shame-free platform for discussion of all of our concerns—no issue is off limits.

Linda: What made you choose to use a letter format for the book?

Jeanne: The newspaper column Dear Abby provided inspiration—women wrote to her for decades seeking help. As Christians, however, our help comes from God Almighty, so why not write to Him and seek His Truth to guide us through our difficulties? He’s ready, willing, and able to help us when we humble ourselves before Him. He longs for us to admit that we’re struggling and trust Him with our relationships and circumstances. The letter format creates a personal connection with our heavenly Father.

Linda: How did you come up with the answers you give to each of these desperate cries for help?

Jeanne: That’s a great question, Linda. The answers are based on my 20 years of daily saturation in God’s Word. Every morning I pour my heart out to God about my concerns, questions, and heartaches and then search scriptures until the Holy Spirit reveals applicable truth. For the Dear God I’m Desperate letters, I identified problems other women face and used the same dialog process. James 1:5 outlines the principle on which these answers are based, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you.”  I ask—confident that God will answer—and He provides wisdom.

Linda: I see that you’ve created a fictional setting called Hysteria Lane, the home of all the characters in your book. How did you come up with that idea?

Jeanne: The stars on the TV program “Desperate Housewives” lived on Wisteria Lane; I always chuckled to myself that, with all the drama in their lives, they should live on Hysteria Lane. As I wrote Dear God I’m Desperate, that idea resurfaced. In order to tie the women together in their hearts and minds, I developed a community of women who live on Hysteria Lane.

Imagine four friends who live on Hysteria Lane gathering for coffee. Julie shares her tears as she recounts her devastating day in divorce court (Zach’s Final Lie). Danielle, recently widowed, explains her struggle with depression at the death of her lifelong husband (Withered Heart). Laurie reports her relief in ending chemotherapy and her further distress at the toll the treatments have taken on her depleted body, soul, and spirit (The Red Cocktail). Christina dares to admit her sorrow over the abortion of her precious Amy on the day that would have been her sixteenth birthday (Sweet Sixteen and Never Been Kissed.) Women sharing their hearts deepens their love and caring for one another. In their willingness to be vulnerable, the women find encouragement and hope as their friendships strengthen.

In Dear God I’m Desperate, God reveals His trustworthy promises to calm and heal their hearts.

Linda: Who will benefit from reading your book?

Jeanne: This book is intended for women struggling with everyday issues.

Women alone.

Women faced with shattered marriages.

Women plagued with depression.

Women distressed with doubts, confusion, and fears.

Women stunned by bad news.

Women overwhelmed with guilt.

Women brokenhearted by children.

Women abused.

One of my readers said in her review on Amazon, “This book is a very honest, straightforward description of real world problems faced by women of all walks of life. One may not identify with every issue, but you will find yourself in its pages. Not only will this book guide you to God’s word, it will provide the much needed comfort you seek when struggling with life today. It is both confident and tender in its guidance.”

Linda: In your book you refer to the concept of “Divine Exchange.” What do you mean by that?

Jeanne: “Divine Exchange” refers to a spiritual transaction that changes our lives.  When we bring our troubles to our Creator, He unburdens our hearts. For example, He exchanges despair for hope and replaces worry with peace. Faith in Him casts out fear. Dignity as daughters of the King displaces shame.

Linda: What do you hope women glean by reading your book?

Jeanne: Linda, it’s my desire that women develop intimacy with God our Father. In the book, after each chapter, space has been provided for readers to write their own heart’s cry to God. Then, scriptures may be applied to their personal issues. This format provides a model for their ongoing conversations with God where they can find hope, encouragement, and validation as God’s precious daughters and know they are not alone in their struggles.

Linda: What are your future goals?

Jeanne: I believe God has provided this book as a way for Him to allow me to speak to women’s hearts. Writing for me provides ministry for desperate women. Much of my time is also spent in speaking engagements. My closet contains 80 journals filled with personal dialogs with God. So however I can serve whether through writing or speaking, that’s what I want to do.

Linda: Where can readers find your book and learn more about you?

Jeanne: The book is available online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble & other booksellers.  Readers can visit my website, blog and Facebook page: jeannelemay@mac.com.  On September 14, 2018, I will be speaking in Daytona Beach, FL at the JOY conference sponsored by Glorious Living Ministries. The conference is free as is God’s love. For details, go to: glorious living.net, which also contains my bio.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Disappointments

August 15, 2014 by 4 Comments

pink ribbonDetails! And all those little things that seem to have no consequence.

When they’re all strung together, sometimes God gives us a glimpse of what He is doing behind the scenes in the midst of our disappointments. That happened to me one Saturday morning.

As I climbed into the car and turned the key in the ignition that morning, I looked longingly at the clock on my dashboard. How I wished I could skip my writers group meeting so I could attend my grandson’s soccer game where he was to receive a trophy.

A month earlier, however, friends from church, whom I’d frequently encouraged to attend our writers group, informed me they were coming. Laurie was an excellent writer and had battled cancer for 15 years. Recently, she’d had another bad cancer scare. She was improving now and with her beautiful testimony, she was writing a book about prayer with her husband. I had planned all month to be there to greet them and encourage her in her writing.

When Pete emailed me the night before to tell me he would be coming alone because Laurie was not feeling well, I wrestled with skipping the meeting and attending my grandson’s soccer game instead, but I continued to feel that I should be there for Pete.

As the meeting was about to begin, I was pleasantly surprised to see Pete and Laurie both walk in the door together. Laurie had come after all. But it had not been without some struggle and disappointment of her own.

As we sat down, Laurie shared her deep disappointment at having to pass up a free ticket to a Beth Moore event. After her recent cancer scare, she needed encouragement and had welcomed the opportunity for some inspiration. But the night before, she had not been feeling well and gave up the ticket. When she actually did feel better in the morning, it was too late. Someone else had the ticket, And so she had come to the writer’s group.

As the morning evolved, however, we both discovered God’s reason for our disappointments. His plans were indeed higher than ours.

God Had a Reason

After the large assembly time that morning, we split into critique groups. According to custom, Laurie and Pete were placed into my group since they were newcomers and I was their sponsor. Two people in our group brought writings for critique. The first one brought a chapter of a book she was writing about anticipatory grief. It was a term I’d never heard before, which refers to a period of time when a person is dealing with an inevitable grief that hasn’t yet arrived, but keeps the heart “on hold” with hope mixed with fear while waiting for that dreaded moment when grief and loss threatens to sweep down upon them.

I was the reader that morning, and as I read each beautifully written word about the feelings one encounters in anticipatory grief, I glanced at Laurie and Pete across the table, wondering how this was impacting them: this was indeed the journey they themselves had been walking together for years.

About two-thirds of the way through the reading, Laurie got up and went to the restroom. I stopped and asked Pete, “Is Laurie alright?”

“I think it’s more of a bladder problem than an emotional one,” he said reassuringly.

Later, however, as we went around the group for people to make comments, we discovered that was not entirely true.

Lack of Faith or Anticipatory Grief?

As Laurie began to speak, she could hardly get the words out, then broke into tears. When she collected herself, she spoke resolutely.

“This book needs to be published as soon as possible! I have cancer,” she announced to the group. “We’ve been walking through this for 15 years, and I never knew this term. When I had these feelings I always thought it was a lack of faith. I never knew until now that these were normal feelings.” She choked back tears and resumed. “I was so disappointed that I couldn’t go to see Beth Moore this morning. I never imagined God had something even more powerful planned for me today at this meeting.” The tears spilled down her cheeks now as she let go of the emotions welling up inside her and allowed the words she’d heard to take hold in her heart. As acceptance and healing washed through her, the significance of that moment spilled out onto the rest of us sitting around the table as well. We all knew God had orchestrated this time.

By now, I was crying too along with the woman who was writing the book. Around the table, when each person offered comments, hearts were laid bare as they poignantly shared personal stories of grief and healing.Tissues were passed around the table, and everyone sat in wonder at what God had done when he sifted through our plans that morning to bring us together. It truly was one of those beautiful “God” moments.

So, yes, I missed my grandson’s soccer game and Laurie missed the Beth Moore event, but God had planned something so much more amazing than if things had gone along according to our own plans.

One of the things I have been learning lately is that if I can relax and surrender each moment to God, even when things are going contrary to what I want, God uses each of these moments as one more step, one more detail, one more piece of the puzzle He is using to make something happen that is beyond my imagination.

“I know the plans I have for you, plans for [your] welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11 — Holman Christian Standard Bible)

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In God We Trust

July 2, 2014 by 9 Comments

???????????????????????????????A few weeks ago I was horrified to read in the newspaper about two twelve year old girls who lured their friend into the woods after a sleepover and tried to stab her to death. Afterwards, one of them told police she had no remorse. “I guess it may have been wrong,” she said.  The other girl said that when she heard the victim’s screams, “The bad part of me wanted her to die. The good part of me wanted her to live.”

Twelve year old girls?  Trying to kill their friend?  And all because of a fictional character they followed on the Internet.

The perverse ludicrousness of the story seared my brain with incredulity. How could girls as young as this fall into such evil?  How could their minds be so warped and depraved?

The answer came as quickly as the question. Because they don’t know God.  Because they have probably not been taught what is right and what is wrong.

If their families don’t go to church . . .

If schools are forbidden to talk about God . . .

If it’s unlawful to post the 10 Commandments on the wall of a courthouse or the walls of a school . . .

How do they learn what is right and what is wrong?

As adults, I think many of us just assume children will grow up knowing that murder is wrong. That is a basic moral code, right? But if there is a vacuum in their religious education and they spend most of the time on the Internet, juxtaposed with a couple of hours in front of the TV and a weekly outing to the movies, where are they learning their values?

George Washington Was Right

More and more I think we are seeing that George Washington was right:

“Let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.”  George Washington.

In a world where a majority of children are growing up without any Christian education, our own children become more vulnerable as well.  And as we go through our own struggles, and particularly if crisis strikes, we are often unaware of the enormous battle being waged for their souls.

However, if we allow God to draw our hearts nearer to Him in the midst of crisis, we may actually develop a heightened sensitivity to our children’s needs.

This happened to Faith when her husband left and asked for divorce.  As the insecurities of change threatened her middle-school sons, she searched for a way to connect with them and encourage them to look to God for strength.  Together, they began listening to and discussing CDs of The Kingdom Series by Chuck Black, which brings the Bible to life through the glory of battling knights in a medieval setting and is sometimes described as a Pilgrims Progress for the Xbox generation. Many evenings, as the boys hunkered down on the bed with her, she answered the hard questions and talked to them about what it meant to follow God into the future. Other times she spent one-on-one time with each of them to take their spiritual and emotional temperatures. Through honest conversations and spiritual encouragement, she not only helped them cope with the domestic heartache rattling their world but instilled God’s Word into her boys to prepare them for the challenges they faced in a public school environment.

Engage With Our Children

In a world where many forces vie for our children’s minds, hearts, and loyalties, it’s more important than ever that we engage with our youngsters. They need to feel our support and love as we take time to discuss important issues with them so they can clarify their own values and beliefs and articulate them with genuineness and intelligence to their friends.  We need to pray with them for wisdom and discernment in an academic world that is frequently hostile to the Christian faith.

Yes, there is cause for concern.  But as we look to God for wisdom and direction, there is also a reason for hope.  Our very own children may indeed be the hope that is found in unexpected places.  As we tackle our problems and encourage our children with God’s Word to see His provision, we teach them to be strong in their faith, that God is the conqueror, and that He will help us–and them– to overcome.

This 4th of July I pray that the words “In God We Trust” will be more than a motto we see on a dollar bill, or even a creed we share with our countrymen, but that it will be a belief that is emblazoned on our hearts so that regardless of what happens in our world or our country, we as Christians can continue to hold firm and say with conviction “In God We Trust.”

“In my view, the Christian religion is the most important and one of the first things in which all children, under a free government ought to be instructed … No truth is more evident to my mind than that the Christian religion must be the basis of any government intended to secure the rights and privileges of a free people.”  Noah Webster, Preface Noah Webster Dictionary, 1828

More George Washington quotes at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/george_washington.html#ozeWbhea38uP1cxu.99

*To readers who don’t live in the U.S.: Please bear with me this week as I recognize our national holiday by focusing on issues of national interest. Next week I will feature another powerful author interview on Avoiding 12 Relationship Mistakes.

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